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Ass, Bad, and Crush: You ever chilled with somebody and when you leave they text you like " I wanted to kiss you so bad " ima tell you guys the story about my first kiss. I was in 3rd grade. My hoe count was -1,000 cause my grandma use to pick me up from school, I could never walk a shorty home and spit some game. I had this crush on this girl name Ashley. Pretty indian thang. I use to love Jasmine from Aladin. You know She smelt like school lunch and I like school lunch. Ashley had a boyfriend at the time name Chris. Homie had the meanest zit on his forehead. Looking like Tien from dragon ball z. I didn’t tell my grandma i had a half a day of school. I’m walking Ashley thinking about how ima slip this kiss in real quick. I can tell she wasn’t tryna walk with me cause she was speed walking. My heelys don’t roll that fast. I can see her house approaching and I’m timing when ima go for the kill. I turn on my nitrous on my heelys to get me within the 90-10 rule. Me 90% let her finish the last 10%. I ended up going a 1,000. My lips sucking on her tonsils. This probably the worst kiss of all time. Kiss wetter than Jada fire. Ashley begin drowning. Black people don’t swim and i don’t save theses hoes so thats abad combination. She need that heimlich. Her father Apu in the face ass came running out with her brothers to beat my ass. Im running for my life when i see my grandma car driving slow as fuck to my school. Damn Granny school don’t get out for another 2 hours. I hopped in the whip with the meanest urgency. You know grandma gonna give me a life lesson before she hit the nitrous like we doing a Gta Heist. I escaped isis that day. My grandma tore my ass up for lien to her. She a real one fam.
Ass, Bad, and Crush: You ever chilled with somebody and
 when you leave they text you like
 " I wanted to kiss you so bad "
ima tell you guys the story about my first kiss. I was in 3rd grade. My hoe count was -1,000 cause my grandma use to pick me up from school, I could never walk a shorty home and spit some game. I had this crush on this girl name Ashley. Pretty indian thang. I use to love Jasmine from Aladin. You know She smelt like school lunch and I like school lunch. Ashley had a boyfriend at the time name Chris. Homie had the meanest zit on his forehead. Looking like Tien from dragon ball z. I didn’t tell my grandma i had a half a day of school. I’m walking Ashley thinking about how ima slip this kiss in real quick. I can tell she wasn’t tryna walk with me cause she was speed walking. My heelys don’t roll that fast. I can see her house approaching and I’m timing when ima go for the kill. I turn on my nitrous on my heelys to get me within the 90-10 rule. Me 90% let her finish the last 10%. I ended up going a 1,000. My lips sucking on her tonsils. This probably the worst kiss of all time. Kiss wetter than Jada fire. Ashley begin drowning. Black people don’t swim and i don’t save theses hoes so thats abad combination. She need that heimlich. Her father Apu in the face ass came running out with her brothers to beat my ass. Im running for my life when i see my grandma car driving slow as fuck to my school. Damn Granny school don’t get out for another 2 hours. I hopped in the whip with the meanest urgency. You know grandma gonna give me a life lesson before she hit the nitrous like we doing a Gta Heist. I escaped isis that day. My grandma tore my ass up for lien to her. She a real one fam.

ima tell you guys the story about my first kiss. I was in 3rd grade. My hoe count was -1,000 cause my grandma use to pick me up from school,...