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Af, Ass, and Bruh: Niggas on Neptune when they homie get clapped by a flying diamond @typicalterome BRUHHHHH LEMME TELL YALL WHAT HAPPENED TODAY πŸ’€ ight so a nigga had to get to work early because of a complicated ass reason. Anyway I pull up to the function and the first bullshit thing I see is the door. THE FUCKING DOOR HANDLE TO THE CFA GOT BOONK GANGED πŸ’€πŸ’€πŸ˜­πŸ˜­ Deadass I can’t lie, I asked my manager and they said it was taken πŸ’€ bruh I don’t live in chiraq, this shit shouldn’t be happening. Anyway I’m sitting there with my coworkers cause it’s 4:00 and we all clock in at 5 right. All of a sudden I notice my first period teacher walk into the building. So me and my other coworker duck because that’s her teacher too and we wasn’t tryna get caught lacking. Ima just call her Alexis. BUT THE WALKING DILDO NAMED JEREMIAH HAD TO RUIN IT. He gets my teachers attention and the NIGGA NOTICES US 😭 So the teacher walks over with his daughter that he’s always talking about in class and smiles at me and Alexis. β€œHey *insert my last name*” This nigga only calls you by yo last bruh and it’s dumb af πŸ’€ We shake hands and shit and then he introduces his daughter. β€œThis is Leah. Hey Leah, this is the guy who I always talk about at home.” Then the nigga smiles at me. MY NIGGA WHY YOU TALKING ABOUT ME AT HOME 😭😭😭😭 fuckwrongwiteem. So now I’m all confused and shit and then Jeremiah nods his head at Leah and mouths the word β€œforehead” πŸ’€ bruh ngl her forehead was on some Yo Gotti type shit 😭😭 then this nigga Jeremiah has the AUDACITY to say: β€œMy head hurt.” 😭😭😭😭 IM WHEEZINGGGGGG AT THIS POINT AND MY teacher gets all confused and shit. β€œYou good?” β€œYeah, just a lot on my mind right now.” BOIIII ME AND JEREMIAH ARE CRYINGGGGGGGG and my teacher still confused. Meanwhile his daughter standing there all awkward and shit. Anyway they say goodbye and leave after that. After they’re gone, we was still cracking jokes. β€œBruh her forehead was longer than my shift.” β€œCould see yo reflection on that shit.” β€œShe looked like Sheen off that one episode of Jimmy Neutron.” I WAS GONEEEEEEE. Anyway it was 5 now and by then we was still crying. So I was at the register just crying and the customer comes up to me and says, β€œYou alright?” β€œYeah, just a lot on my mind right now.”
Af, Ass, and Bruh: Niggas on Neptune when they homie get
 clapped by a flying diamond
 @typicalterome
BRUHHHHH LEMME TELL YALL WHAT HAPPENED TODAY πŸ’€ ight so a nigga had to get to work early because of a complicated ass reason. Anyway I pull up to the function and the first bullshit thing I see is the door. THE FUCKING DOOR HANDLE TO THE CFA GOT BOONK GANGED πŸ’€πŸ’€πŸ˜­πŸ˜­ Deadass I can’t lie, I asked my manager and they said it was taken πŸ’€ bruh I don’t live in chiraq, this shit shouldn’t be happening. Anyway I’m sitting there with my coworkers cause it’s 4:00 and we all clock in at 5 right. All of a sudden I notice my first period teacher walk into the building. So me and my other coworker duck because that’s her teacher too and we wasn’t tryna get caught lacking. Ima just call her Alexis. BUT THE WALKING DILDO NAMED JEREMIAH HAD TO RUIN IT. He gets my teachers attention and the NIGGA NOTICES US 😭 So the teacher walks over with his daughter that he’s always talking about in class and smiles at me and Alexis. β€œHey *insert my last name*” This nigga only calls you by yo last bruh and it’s dumb af πŸ’€ We shake hands and shit and then he introduces his daughter. β€œThis is Leah. Hey Leah, this is the guy who I always talk about at home.” Then the nigga smiles at me. MY NIGGA WHY YOU TALKING ABOUT ME AT HOME 😭😭😭😭 fuckwrongwiteem. So now I’m all confused and shit and then Jeremiah nods his head at Leah and mouths the word β€œforehead” πŸ’€ bruh ngl her forehead was on some Yo Gotti type shit 😭😭 then this nigga Jeremiah has the AUDACITY to say: β€œMy head hurt.” 😭😭😭😭 IM WHEEZINGGGGGG AT THIS POINT AND MY teacher gets all confused and shit. β€œYou good?” β€œYeah, just a lot on my mind right now.” BOIIII ME AND JEREMIAH ARE CRYINGGGGGGGG and my teacher still confused. Meanwhile his daughter standing there all awkward and shit. Anyway they say goodbye and leave after that. After they’re gone, we was still cracking jokes. β€œBruh her forehead was longer than my shift.” β€œCould see yo reflection on that shit.” β€œShe looked like Sheen off that one episode of Jimmy Neutron.” I WAS GONEEEEEEE. Anyway it was 5 now and by then we was still crying. So I was at the register just crying and the customer comes up to me and says, β€œYou alright?” β€œYeah, just a lot on my mind right now.”

BRUHHHHH LEMME TELL YALL WHAT HAPPENED TODAY πŸ’€ ight so a nigga had to get to work early because of a complicated ass reason. Anyway I pull u...

Animals, Basketball, and Ex's: My boy Ferris turned 3 today. He still thinks he's as small as when he was a puppy Pic: reddit u/ZarZarBinks22 @DrSmashlove So the discussion about stealing-appropriating clothing from exes has begotten untold amount of humor and, as always, Smash is here for the fvckery - all of it πŸ€—πŸ˜‚: (1) Yesterday, one of my followers commented: β€œRight now on my teenage daughter's bed is a large teddy bear her old boyfriend gave her and it's wearing a fleece hoodie that her new boyfriend gave her. This poor bear didn't ask for this $h!t!!πŸ€£β€ WHEN BOTH YO MAMA AND YO STUFFED ANIMALS ARE JUDGING U BABY GIRL U NEED TO HIT THAT PAUSE BUTTON ON YO LIFE AND GET RIGHT WITH GOD, I CAN’T πŸ˜‚. (2) Sometimes I get messages from my lil homegirls that I have have to simply repost with no explanation because the legend speaks for itself (herself? Lol): β€œTo be honest I keep an old ex's basketball shorts at my place and lie and say they're mine...my overnight guests just want to believe they are the first homie to ever touch my precious flower so they believe it naively and wear them to sleep. I do wash them but still: LIT'RAL PECKER KISS.” Ladies...FOR EFF’S SAKE πŸ˜‚...Y’all heard of Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants...Well if u sleep with my homegirl u are inducted to the Brotherhood of the Jizzy Nike Shorts 😩 ... Baptized in Babies ... Submerged in the Swimmers ... of all men who came before you ... literally β€˜came’ before u πŸ˜’πŸ”« ... I’m done bruv u ladies got savage in yo cot damn blood...this ain’t chu...who made u like dis... maybe u ladies are just doing u and *I’M* the one who need to meditate and talk to God ... in fact imma do that right quick y’all be safe πŸ˜©πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚
Animals, Basketball, and Ex's: My boy Ferris turned 3 today. He still
 thinks he's as small as when he was a
 puppy
 Pic: reddit u/ZarZarBinks22
 @DrSmashlove
So the discussion about stealing-appropriating clothing from exes has begotten untold amount of humor and, as always, Smash is here for the fvckery - all of it πŸ€—πŸ˜‚: (1) Yesterday, one of my followers commented: β€œRight now on my teenage daughter's bed is a large teddy bear her old boyfriend gave her and it's wearing a fleece hoodie that her new boyfriend gave her. This poor bear didn't ask for this $h!t!!πŸ€£β€ WHEN BOTH YO MAMA AND YO STUFFED ANIMALS ARE JUDGING U BABY GIRL U NEED TO HIT THAT PAUSE BUTTON ON YO LIFE AND GET RIGHT WITH GOD, I CAN’T πŸ˜‚. (2) Sometimes I get messages from my lil homegirls that I have have to simply repost with no explanation because the legend speaks for itself (herself? Lol): β€œTo be honest I keep an old ex's basketball shorts at my place and lie and say they're mine...my overnight guests just want to believe they are the first homie to ever touch my precious flower so they believe it naively and wear them to sleep. I do wash them but still: LIT'RAL PECKER KISS.” Ladies...FOR EFF’S SAKE πŸ˜‚...Y’all heard of Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants...Well if u sleep with my homegirl u are inducted to the Brotherhood of the Jizzy Nike Shorts 😩 ... Baptized in Babies ... Submerged in the Swimmers ... of all men who came before you ... literally β€˜came’ before u πŸ˜’πŸ”« ... I’m done bruv u ladies got savage in yo cot damn blood...this ain’t chu...who made u like dis... maybe u ladies are just doing u and *I’M* the one who need to meditate and talk to God ... in fact imma do that right quick y’all be safe πŸ˜©πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

So the discussion about stealing-appropriating clothing from exes has begotten untold amount of humor and, as always, Smash is here for the ...