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Crime, Huh, and Soldiers: canto34 Joan of Arc committed war crimes just saying She's not the innocent waifu material everyone thinks she is <p><a href="https://scribblesteph.tumblr.com/post/168630998941/semituring-meganphntmgrl" class="tumblr_blog">scribblesteph</a>:</p><blockquote> <p><a href="https://semituring.tumblr.com/post/168287045831/meganphntmgrl-spontaneous-purple-giraffe" class="tumblr_blog">semituring</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a href="http://meganphntmgrl.tumblr.com/post/168255939925/spontaneous-purple-giraffe-fakefurby-hottest" class="tumblr_blog">meganphntmgrl</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a href="http://spontaneous-purple-giraffe.tumblr.com/post/168242581988/fakefurby-hottest-take-would-someone-please" class="tumblr_blog">spontaneous-purple-giraffe</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a href="http://lamperouge.co.vu/post/168211460062/hottest-take" class="tumblr_blog">fakefurby</a>:</p> <blockquote><p>hottest take</p></blockquote> <p>Would someone please tell me which war crimes she committed? I don’t think anyone has ever mentioned them to me before and I’d really like to know. </p> </blockquote> <p>Oh, that’s what makes this a TRULY piping hot take. It’s that she, as commander, placed a civilian into combat, which is classified as a war crime because of press ganging and child soldiers, along with the whole general thing about exposing civilians to harm. Like, yeah, generally speaking, inflicting that on someone is a war crime.</p> <p>The trouble is, the civilian she placed in combat? Herself. </p> <p>This guy (and Human Pet Guy) are calling her a war criminal because they’re doing mental somersaults to consider her both a commander and a civilian. At the same time. </p> <p>Yeah.</p> </blockquote> <p>so we’re just stealing our discourse from fifteenth century france huh</p> </blockquote> <p>This blog is pro-Joan of Arc and any antis will be promptly blocked</p> </blockquote> <p>I’m just distracted by the idea of Joan of arc being a “waifu”</p>
Crime, Huh, and Soldiers: canto34
 Joan of Arc committed war crimes just
 saying
 She's not the innocent waifu material
 everyone thinks she is
<p><a href="https://scribblesteph.tumblr.com/post/168630998941/semituring-meganphntmgrl" class="tumblr_blog">scribblesteph</a>:</p><blockquote>
<p><a href="https://semituring.tumblr.com/post/168287045831/meganphntmgrl-spontaneous-purple-giraffe" class="tumblr_blog">semituring</a>:</p>
<blockquote>
<p><a href="http://meganphntmgrl.tumblr.com/post/168255939925/spontaneous-purple-giraffe-fakefurby-hottest" class="tumblr_blog">meganphntmgrl</a>:</p>
<blockquote>
<p><a href="http://spontaneous-purple-giraffe.tumblr.com/post/168242581988/fakefurby-hottest-take-would-someone-please" class="tumblr_blog">spontaneous-purple-giraffe</a>:</p>

<blockquote>
<p><a href="http://lamperouge.co.vu/post/168211460062/hottest-take" class="tumblr_blog">fakefurby</a>:</p>
<blockquote><p>hottest take</p></blockquote>

<p>Would someone please tell me which war crimes she committed? I don’t think anyone has ever mentioned them to me before and I’d really like to know. </p>
</blockquote>

<p>Oh, that’s what makes this a TRULY piping hot take. It’s that she, as commander, placed a civilian into combat, which is classified as a war crime because of press ganging and child soldiers, along with the whole general thing about exposing civilians to harm. Like, yeah, generally speaking, inflicting that on someone is a war crime.</p>
<p>The trouble is, the civilian she placed in combat? Herself. </p>
<p>This guy (and Human Pet Guy) are calling her a war criminal because they’re doing mental somersaults to consider her both a commander and a civilian. At the same time. </p>
<p>Yeah.</p>
</blockquote>
<p>so we’re just stealing our discourse from fifteenth century france huh</p>
</blockquote>

<p>This blog is pro-Joan of Arc and any antis will be promptly blocked</p>
</blockquote>

<p>I’m just distracted by the idea of Joan of arc being a “waifu”</p>

<p><a href="https://scribblesteph.tumblr.com/post/168630998941/semituring-meganphntmgrl" class="tumblr_blog">scribblesteph</a>:</p><blockquo...

Elizabeth Warren, Feminism, and Gif: lovebscott oloveb scott Rachel Dolezal Charged with Felony Theft for Welfare Fraud, Facing Up to 15-Years in Prison lovebscott.com/rachel-dolezal... via @lovebscott Rachel Dolezal Charged with Felony Theft for Welfare Fraud, Facing Up to 15-Years in Prison |... lovebscott.com <p><a href="https://black-girl-against-feminism.tumblr.com/post/174228539579/feminists-against-feminism-reverseracism" class="tumblr_blog">black-girl-against-feminism</a>:</p> <blockquote><p><a href="https://feminists-against-feminism.tumblr.com/post/174228386263/reverseracism-jettestblack-lmaooooooooo" class="tumblr_blog">feminists-against-feminism</a>:</p> <blockquote><p><a href="http://reverseracism.tumblr.com/post/174227802598/jettestblack-lmaooooooooo-life-comes-at-you" class="tumblr_blog">reverseracism</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a href="https://jettestblack.tumblr.com/post/174224551380/lmaooooooooo" class="tumblr_blog">jettestblack</a>:</p> <blockquote><p>Lmaooooooooo</p></blockquote> <p>Life comes at you fast, huh </p> </blockquote> <p>Considering shes trying so hard to be black, and the deeply layered racist context of welfare benefits, i can only guess this is part of her attempt to be blacker, and if thats true then im honestly not sure if she got her perception of blackness from the left wing or right wing, but I do know she is Shaun King’s destined waifu and Elizabeth Warren’s spirit animal</p></blockquote> <figure class="tmblr-full" data-orig-height="340" data-orig-width="397" data-tumblr-attribution="thejabberwock:G3EFNwljXQKXrX6Txw_ZFg:Zvu8vg2J_ljAP"><img src="https://78.media.tumblr.com/6b06372d06a58e6ed85d09b74357864c/tumblr_omxz3f8qBL1vvk81io5_400.gif" data-orig-height="340" data-orig-width="397"/></figure></blockquote>
Elizabeth Warren, Feminism, and Gif: lovebscott
 oloveb scott
 Rachel Dolezal Charged with Felony Theft
 for Welfare Fraud, Facing Up to 15-Years in
 Prison lovebscott.com/rachel-dolezal... via
 @lovebscott
 Rachel Dolezal Charged with Felony Theft for Welfare
 Fraud, Facing Up to 15-Years in Prison |...
 lovebscott.com
<p><a href="https://black-girl-against-feminism.tumblr.com/post/174228539579/feminists-against-feminism-reverseracism" class="tumblr_blog">black-girl-against-feminism</a>:</p>

<blockquote><p><a href="https://feminists-against-feminism.tumblr.com/post/174228386263/reverseracism-jettestblack-lmaooooooooo" class="tumblr_blog">feminists-against-feminism</a>:</p>

<blockquote><p><a href="http://reverseracism.tumblr.com/post/174227802598/jettestblack-lmaooooooooo-life-comes-at-you" class="tumblr_blog">reverseracism</a>:</p>
<blockquote>
<p><a href="https://jettestblack.tumblr.com/post/174224551380/lmaooooooooo" class="tumblr_blog">jettestblack</a>:</p>

<blockquote><p>Lmaooooooooo</p></blockquote>

<p>Life comes at you fast, huh </p>
</blockquote>
<p>Considering shes trying so hard to be black, and the deeply layered racist context of welfare benefits, i can only guess this is part of her attempt to be blacker, and if thats true then im honestly not sure if she got her perception of blackness from the left wing or right wing, but I do know she is Shaun King’s destined waifu and Elizabeth Warren’s spirit animal</p></blockquote>

<figure class="tmblr-full" data-orig-height="340" data-orig-width="397" data-tumblr-attribution="thejabberwock:G3EFNwljXQKXrX6Txw_ZFg:Zvu8vg2J_ljAP"><img src="https://78.media.tumblr.com/6b06372d06a58e6ed85d09b74357864c/tumblr_omxz3f8qBL1vvk81io5_400.gif" data-orig-height="340" data-orig-width="397"/></figure></blockquote>

<p><a href="https://black-girl-against-feminism.tumblr.com/post/174228539579/feminists-against-feminism-reverseracism" class="tumblr_blog">b...

Gif, Huh, and Juice: I BETCHA WANT SOME OF THIS HUH PERVERT? <p><a href="http://somescrub.com/post/173557041690/orange-juice-patreon-donate-commissions" class="tumblr_blog" target="_blank">somescrub</a>:</p> <blockquote><p>Orange Juice.</p><figure data-orig-height="224" data-orig-width="256"><img src="https://78.media.tumblr.com/3a044e239330b01e3989da8f702b4ad8/tumblr_inline_p86aj8LDrA1rjhpni_540.gif" data-orig-height="224" data-orig-width="256"/></figure><hr><p> <b><a href="https://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=http%3A%2F%2Fsomescrub.com%2Fpatreon&amp;t=NTI0MzExYjlhMWZjODYyZjJlNWE1NjJhNGNkMmYyYmMwNTg4Y2I4ZSx5T3JXcE1obw%3D%3D&amp;b=t%3AhwhLwo1h4Bt0KAJnLWkWIw&amp;p=http%3A%2F%2Fsomescrub.com%2Fpost%2F160153472280%2Flinks&amp;m=1" target="_blank">Patreon</a> | <a href="https://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=http%3A%2F%2Fsomescrub.com%2Fdonate&amp;t=Mzk3ZTExMTAxOWVjZTJiM2U1YzBjNWE2MDA0ZjljNmE2ZDJhMWFlNSx5T3JXcE1obw%3D%3D&amp;b=t%3AhwhLwo1h4Bt0KAJnLWkWIw&amp;p=http%3A%2F%2Fsomescrub.com%2Fpost%2F160153472280%2Flinks&amp;m=1" target="_blank">Donate</a> | <a href="https://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=http%3A%2F%2Fsomescrub.com%2Fpost%2F164166089570%2Fnew-simple-commission-sheet-for-next-week-and&amp;t=YmQ2NmNjZDkxNzZhOWI2OTI5MTU5OWY3N2M2YzY2NjQ1MjkyNjc3Nix5T3JXcE1obw%3D%3D&amp;b=t%3AhwhLwo1h4Bt0KAJnLWkWIw&amp;p=http%3A%2F%2Fsomescrub.com%2Fpost%2F160153472280%2Flinks&amp;m=1" target="_blank">Commissions</a> | <a href="http://somescrub2.tumblr.com/" target="_blank">Mod</a> | <a href="https://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=http%3A%2F%2Fsomescrub.com%2Fask&amp;t=OTczZjAyZDBkZGExNGM3YTY4Njg2ZjVjOGFjMjVhOTI0MTZmYWY4Myx5T3JXcE1obw%3D%3D&amp;b=t%3AhwhLwo1h4Bt0KAJnLWkWIw&amp;p=http%3A%2F%2Fsomescrub.com%2Fpost%2F160153472280%2Flinks&amp;m=1" target="_blank">Ask</a> | <a href="https://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=https%3A%2F%2Fko-fi.com%2Fsomescrub&amp;t=YjVhMTJlMjhiNDhjYTRlYmY2MjdlMTIyZjQ1YTcyN2Y0ZGI1NjBlOCx5T3JXcE1obw%3D%3D&amp;b=t%3AhwhLwo1h4Bt0KAJnLWkWIw&amp;p=http%3A%2F%2Fsomescrub.com%2Fpost%2F160153472280%2Flinks&amp;m=1" target="_blank">KO-FI</a></b> <br/></p></blockquote>
Gif, Huh, and Juice: I BETCHA
 WANT SOME
 OF THIS HUH
 PERVERT?
<p><a href="http://somescrub.com/post/173557041690/orange-juice-patreon-donate-commissions" class="tumblr_blog" target="_blank">somescrub</a>:</p>

<blockquote><p>Orange Juice.</p><figure data-orig-height="224" data-orig-width="256"><img src="https://78.media.tumblr.com/3a044e239330b01e3989da8f702b4ad8/tumblr_inline_p86aj8LDrA1rjhpni_540.gif" data-orig-height="224" data-orig-width="256"/></figure><hr><p>

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Apparently, Beautiful, and Confused: Hi Morning Your holiday Monday off to a good start? Monday 09:15 Yes nice what r u looking for on tinder Monday 12:13 Nothing specific. I'm not around for long Monday 18:15 Ok Today 06:20 I feel the hunger on foreign skin, wants to absorb the scent of foreign skin, I want to drill my teeth into your flesh Draw marks on my skin with my nails. I want to feel how you give yourself to me, how you become soft and yielding, deliver you, just feel, just give, until you melt helpless in my arms I want to drink you empty like a sweet fruit, absorb your pain and moans into me Take heat and give it. Playing on your nipples, until your moans penetrate my ear like a beautiful melody. l want to touch, dominate, explore to the last corner of your soul And then start over. Slowly. Persevering. Relish I let your soul slip through my hands, shape and encourage you Protect you. I will kiss your tears away. Find you nice. Over and over again Today 07:49 Today 08:21 ....huh? When was ur last sex Today 09:32 I'm very confused about the turn this conversation has taken I thought you were looking for feedback on your....poetry. Or whatever that was Did u read the poem? I did. Are you looking for constructive feedback? Sent GIF Type a message... I did. Are you looking for constructive feedback? I am lookin for a feedback about what u feel it u like it Well, some of your metaphors are a little off. l'd also look at breaking out the old thesaurus the use of 'foreign skin' twice in two lines and 'moans' twice in one stanza could do with changing up. Also, beginning stanzas 2,3 & 4 with 'l want' is a good device, but you need to carry it through to the rest of the stanzas for it to really be effective Also very unsure on the find you nice' line All together it's a good beginning effort Sent GIF Type a message.. Do u like this type of sex Surely the sex in the poem is a metaphor for death though? It's not intended to be read literally as a sex act Do u read the dominant part? Yes, I want to touch [... last corner of your soul' - death is the ultimate dominator, and through the end of life manages to reach through to the very ends of our souls There is a feeling of rebirth, new life in this stanza though 'and then start over [...] persevering Maybe this is more about loss and finding oneself again than it is about death Sent GIF Type a message.. Do u like domiant men? The world is full of dominant men and it doesn't seem to be working so well for it Sent Type a message GIF .. Apparently not ready for the literary critique
Apparently, Beautiful, and Confused: Hi
 Morning
 Your holiday Monday off to a
 good start?
 Monday 09:15
 Yes nice what r u looking for on
 tinder
 Monday 12:13
 Nothing specific. I'm not around
 for long
 Monday 18:15
 Ok
 Today 06:20
 I feel the hunger on foreign
 skin,
 wants to absorb the scent of
 foreign skin,
 I want to drill my teeth into your
 flesh
 Draw marks on my skin with my
 nails.
 I want to feel how you give
 yourself to me,
 how you become soft and
 yielding,
 deliver you, just feel, just give,
 until you melt helpless in my
 arms
 I want to drink you empty like a
 sweet fruit,
 absorb your pain and moans
 into me
 Take heat and give it. Playing
 on your nipples,
 until your moans penetrate my
 ear like a beautiful melody.
 l want to touch, dominate,
 explore
 to the last corner of your soul
 And then start over.
 Slowly. Persevering. Relish
 I let your soul slip through my
 hands,
 shape and encourage you
 Protect you.
 I will kiss your tears away.
 Find you nice. Over and over
 again

 Today 07:49
 Today 08:21
 ....huh?
 When was ur last sex
 Today 09:32
 I'm very confused about the turn
 this conversation has taken
 I thought you were looking for
 feedback on your....poetry. Or
 whatever that was
 Did u read the poem?
 I did. Are you looking for
 constructive feedback?
 Sent
 GIF
 Type a message...

 I did. Are you looking for
 constructive feedback?
 I am lookin for a feedback
 about what u feel it u like it
 Well, some of your metaphors
 are a little off. l'd also look at
 breaking out the old thesaurus
 the use of 'foreign skin' twice
 in two lines and 'moans' twice
 in one stanza could do with
 changing up. Also, beginning
 stanzas 2,3 & 4 with 'l want' is
 a good device, but you need
 to carry it through to the rest
 of the stanzas for it to really be
 effective
 Also very unsure on the find you
 nice' line
 All together it's a good
 beginning effort
 Sent
 GIF
 Type a message..

 Do u like this type of sex
 Surely the sex in the poem is a
 metaphor for death though? It's
 not intended to be read literally
 as a sex act
 Do u read the dominant part?
 Yes, I want to touch [... last
 corner of your soul' - death is
 the ultimate dominator, and
 through the end of life manages
 to reach through to the very
 ends of our souls
 There is a feeling of rebirth, new
 life in this stanza though 'and
 then start over [...] persevering
 Maybe this is more about loss
 and finding oneself again than it
 is about death
 Sent
 GIF
 Type a message..

 Do u like domiant men?
 The world is full of dominant
 men and it doesn't seem to be
 working so well for it
 Sent
 Type a message
 GIF
 ..
Apparently not ready for the literary critique

Apparently not ready for the literary critique

Fall, God, and Huh: My character's hame is Rocket. Hes a genetically enhanced raccoon witha gun fetish. <p><a href="http://tarathiel.tumblr.com/post/172403457857" class="tumblr_blog">tarathiel</a>:</p><blockquote> <p><a href="https://therealfeedback.tumblr.com/post/169535311104/sperari-foundloveinbudapest-obsessiforge" class="tumblr_blog">therealfeedback</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a href="http://sperari.tumblr.com/post/102829591486/foundloveinbudapest-obsessiforge" class="tumblr_blog">sperari</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a href="http://foundloveinbudapest.tumblr.com/post/102829111761/obsessiforge-bluandorange-so-ive-got-this" class="tumblr_blog">foundloveinbudapest</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://obsessiforge.tumblr.com/post/101934507070/bluandorange-so-ive-got-this-headcanon-that">obsessiforge</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://bluandorange.tumblr.com/post/101827855795/so-ive-got-this-headcanon-that-guardians-of-the">bluandorange</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p>so <a href="http://bluandorange.tumblr.com/tagged/avengers%20play%20gotg/chrono">I’ve got this headcanon</a> that Guardians of the Galaxy is really the Avengers playing a table top roleplaying game, where Bucky’s the DM who suffers through heaps and loads of trolling </p> <p>Mostly from Steve</p> <p><em>Especially</em> from Steve</p> </blockquote> <p>Which means Natasha was the one who sat down and wrote out the long, comprehensive backstory for her kickass space assassin Gamora, that Bucky keeps trying to work into the campaign but they keep getting sidetracked by –</p> <p>Tony who just created what he sees himself as – the suave, wise-cracking space vagabond.</p> <p>Thor who needed a lot of help building his character and decided on a couple easy to remember traits (Strong, honor, doesn’t get metaphors)</p> <p>and Bruce who’s actually too busy to pay full attention so any time Bucky asks what he wants to do he just says “I am Groot” and lets Steve decide</p> </blockquote> <p>Oh my god.</p> </blockquote> <p>Headcanon accepted <em>so hard</em></p> </blockquote> <p>“We need to break out of this prison. Bucky, do I know anything about it?”<br/></p> <p>“Roll knowledge, Steve.”<br/></p> <p>“Seventeen.”<br/></p> <p>“From your years of experience and multiple prison escapes, you believe that if you can get one of the prison guard’s security bands to get into the watchtower, and one of the power cells to overload the security systems, you should be able to pull off an escape.”<br/></p> <p>“Perfect. Nat, you have sleight of hand trained, right?”<br/></p> <p>“Yes I do, Steve.”<br/></p> <p>“Alright, you get the wristband. Bruce, grab the power cell.”<br/></p> <p>“Yeah, sure, I am Groot.”<br/></p> <p>“Even in a board game, boy scout has to give the orders, huh?”<br/></p> <p>“Alright Tony, what’s-”<br/></p> <p>“Excuse me, my name <i>Star Lord, </i>thank you.”<br/></p> <p>“…Alright, Star Lord. What’s your plan?”<br/></p> <p>“Well…Bucky?”<br/></p> <p>“Knowledge, Tony.”<br/></p> <p>“…Four.”<br/></p> <p>“You’ve never been in prison before, so you have no idea. You think Rocket’s plan makes sense though.”<br/></p> <p>“Alright, fine. What do you want me to do, Captain Raccoon?”</p> <p>“Only the most important for you, Space King. Bucky, does anyone in the prison have a robotic arm?”<br/></p> <p>“I swear if you’re going where I think you’re going with–”<br/></p> <p>“Okay, leg. Robotic leg, not arm.”<br/></p> <p>“Yes, there is one guy with a prosthetic leg.”<br/></p> <p>“Tony I want you to get me that guy’s leg.”<br/></p> <p>“…Why?”<br/></p> <p>“Just trust me, we need it for the plan.”<br/></p> <p>“Bucky, can I sense motive on Rocket?”<br/></p> <p>“Go ahead.”<br/></p> <p>“…These dice are weighted.”</p> <p>“What?”</p> <p>“What’d you get, Stark?”<br/></p> <p>“One.”<br/></p> <p>“Not only do you believe that Rocket needs the leg, you believe it is the single most important part of the plan. Without that leg, everything will fall to pieces.”<br/></p> <p>“Okay, fine, I’ll get the leg.”<br/></p> <p>“Perfect. Avengers, let’s get to work.”<br/></p> <p>“Removing the power cell will set off the alarm, so you believe you should start with–”<br/></p> <p>“I go remove the power cell.”<br/></p> <p>“…Bruce, that’s…not a good idea. Like I said, ripping that out will set off the alarm.”<br/></p> <p>“Right, exactly, sounds like fun. I go to rip it out.”<br/></p> <p>“But…but I spent all week coming up with persuasion and stealth scenarios for–-”<br/></p> <p>“This is what, a strength check?”<br/></p> <p>“…Yes Bruce, it’s a strength check.”<br/></p> <p>“I got a 20.”<br/></p> <p>“…You rip out the power cell with a single tug, setting off the alarm and alerting every single guard in the prison to your escape attempt. Roll for initiative, and remember that I hate all of you.”</p> </blockquote> <p style=""><a class="tumblelog" href="https://tmblr.co/m0acOk2ZOgBXUcdGHg-6ELw">@rose-de-noire</a><br/></p> </blockquote>
Fall, God, and Huh: My character's
 hame is
 Rocket.
 Hes a
 genetically enhanced
 raccoon witha
 gun fetish.
<p><a href="http://tarathiel.tumblr.com/post/172403457857" class="tumblr_blog">tarathiel</a>:</p><blockquote>
<p><a href="https://therealfeedback.tumblr.com/post/169535311104/sperari-foundloveinbudapest-obsessiforge" class="tumblr_blog">therealfeedback</a>:</p>
<blockquote>
<p><a href="http://sperari.tumblr.com/post/102829591486/foundloveinbudapest-obsessiforge" class="tumblr_blog">sperari</a>:</p>
<blockquote>
<p><a href="http://foundloveinbudapest.tumblr.com/post/102829111761/obsessiforge-bluandorange-so-ive-got-this" class="tumblr_blog">foundloveinbudapest</a>:</p>

<blockquote>
<p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://obsessiforge.tumblr.com/post/101934507070/bluandorange-so-ive-got-this-headcanon-that">obsessiforge</a>:</p>
<blockquote>
<p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://bluandorange.tumblr.com/post/101827855795/so-ive-got-this-headcanon-that-guardians-of-the">bluandorange</a>:</p>
<blockquote>
<p>so <a href="http://bluandorange.tumblr.com/tagged/avengers%20play%20gotg/chrono">I’ve got this headcanon</a> that Guardians of the Galaxy is really the Avengers playing a table top roleplaying game, where Bucky’s the DM who suffers through heaps and loads of trolling </p>
<p>Mostly from Steve</p>
<p><em>Especially</em> from Steve</p>
</blockquote>
<p>Which means Natasha was the one who sat down and wrote out the long, comprehensive backstory for her kickass space assassin Gamora, that Bucky keeps trying to work into the campaign but they keep getting sidetracked by –</p>
<p>Tony who just created what he sees himself as – the suave, wise-cracking space vagabond.</p>
<p>Thor who needed a lot of help building his character and decided on a couple easy to remember traits (Strong, honor, doesn’t get metaphors)</p>
<p>and Bruce who’s actually too busy to pay full attention so any time Bucky asks what he wants to do he just says “I am Groot” and lets Steve decide</p>
</blockquote>

<p>Oh my god.</p>
</blockquote>

<p>Headcanon accepted <em>so hard</em></p>
</blockquote>
<p>“We need to break out of this prison. Bucky, do I know anything about it?”<br/></p>

<p>“Roll knowledge, Steve.”<br/></p>

<p>“Seventeen.”<br/></p>

<p>“From your years of experience and multiple prison escapes, you believe that if you can get one of the prison guard’s security bands to get into the watchtower, and one of the power cells to overload the security systems, you should be able to pull off an escape.”<br/></p>

<p>“Perfect. Nat, you have sleight of hand trained, right?”<br/></p>

<p>“Yes I do, Steve.”<br/></p>

<p>“Alright, you get the wristband. Bruce, grab the power cell.”<br/></p>

<p>“Yeah, sure, I am Groot.”<br/></p>

<p>“Even in a board game, boy scout has to give the orders, huh?”<br/></p>

<p>“Alright Tony, what’s-”<br/></p>

<p>“Excuse me, my name <i>Star Lord, </i>thank you.”<br/></p>

<p>“…Alright, Star Lord. What’s your plan?”<br/></p>

<p>“Well…Bucky?”<br/></p>

<p>“Knowledge, Tony.”<br/></p>

<p>“…Four.”<br/></p>

<p>“You’ve never been in prison before, so you have no idea. You think Rocket’s plan makes sense though.”<br/></p>

<p>“Alright, fine. What do you want me to do, Captain Raccoon?”</p>

<p>“Only the most important for you, Space King. Bucky, does anyone in the prison have a robotic arm?”<br/></p>

<p>“I swear if you’re going where I think you’re going with–”<br/></p>

<p>“Okay, leg. Robotic leg, not arm.”<br/></p>

<p>“Yes, there is one guy with a prosthetic leg.”<br/></p>

<p>“Tony I want you to get me that guy’s leg.”<br/></p>

<p>“…Why?”<br/></p>

<p>“Just trust me, we need it for the plan.”<br/></p>

<p>“Bucky, can I sense motive on Rocket?”<br/></p>

<p>“Go ahead.”<br/></p>

<p>“…These dice are weighted.”</p>

<p>“What?”</p>

<p>“What’d you get, Stark?”<br/></p>

<p>“One.”<br/></p>

<p>“Not only do you believe that Rocket needs the leg, you believe it is the single most important part of the plan. Without that leg, everything will fall to pieces.”<br/></p>

<p>“Okay, fine, I’ll get the leg.”<br/></p>

<p>“Perfect. Avengers, let’s get to work.”<br/></p>

<p>“Removing the power cell will set off the alarm, so you believe you should start with–”<br/></p>

<p>“I go remove the power cell.”<br/></p>

<p>“…Bruce, that’s…not a good idea. Like I said, ripping that out will set off the alarm.”<br/></p>

<p>“Right, exactly, sounds like fun. I go to rip it out.”<br/></p>

<p>“But…but I spent all week coming up with persuasion and stealth scenarios for–-”<br/></p>

<p>“This is what, a strength check?”<br/></p>

<p>“…Yes Bruce, it’s a strength check.”<br/></p>

<p>“I got a 20.”<br/></p>

<p>“…You rip out the power cell with a single tug, setting off the alarm and alerting every single guard in the prison to your escape attempt. Roll for initiative, and remember that I hate all of you.”</p>
</blockquote>
<p style=""><a class="tumblelog" href="https://tmblr.co/m0acOk2ZOgBXUcdGHg-6ELw">@rose-de-noire</a><br/></p>
</blockquote>

<p><a href="http://tarathiel.tumblr.com/post/172403457857" class="tumblr_blog">tarathiel</a>:</p><blockquote> <p><a href="https://therealfee...