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Being Alone, Ass, and Bad: I'm a 21 year-old male. I was out running my 2 miles. Headphones in, music playing, minding my own business. I round the corner at about the halfway point of the run and I see this big black duck looking at me. As I get closer, think to myself, "Man, that's a brave duck, why isn't he running away?" I keep running and realize the duck not only isn't afraid of me or running away, he's running right at me. So I stop and squat down, thinking maybe he was hurt and needed help or something. This bitch ass giant fucking black duck takes a huge bite out of my leg. Like, not playing, drew blood kinda bite I'm thinking to myself, "What the fuck?" So I'm like, maybe he's just an asshole and I keep running think he will leave me alone. I start running again and the faster Irun, the faster he chases me. I start sprinting and he is literally flying behind me attacking me. I'm thinking, "Ive got enough fucking problems in my life as it is man, I dont need this shit so I stop running again kinda like in disbelief trying to figure out what to do. In all my years of being a person, Ive never trained for this This little punk ass duck is chomping on my ankles and it's actually really hurting. He starts grabbing my shoelaces and untying them as I'm trying to run backwards away from him. Weve covered a quarter mile at this point. I try picking him up and throwing him back away from me every time he lunges for blood. I'm thinking, "How the fuck am I gonna explain this if I have to go to the doctor for a duck attack? I'm a grown ass man. This isbullshit." I try running again and he keeps flying after me. I'm at a loss. I dont know what to do at this point. I'm manage to get my phone and start texting my girlfriend, asking her what to do. Am I really gonna have to kill this duck to get away? Like, I don't want to, but I might have to actually fucking kick this duck or grab it by the neck? Seriously?" We have covered 3/4 of a mile at this point. He bites me again and I drop my phone. I pick it up quickly. Who do I call? I've got fucking scars and cuts all over me. While I'm debating whether stand-your-ground laws apply to ducks, I hear a noise; Someone else was outside walking on an adjacent street and came to see what all of the commotion was This was a big mistake. The duck smelled blood, and gave up attacking me to chase after my savior. I saw my window and booked it home running the last half mile in 2:50 flat. I feel kinda bad, that duck has probably killed that dude by now. The last saw of him was the look I took over my shoulder running away as he made the same mistake I did, looking down to see if the duck was hurt worth the read
Being Alone, Ass, and Bad: I'm a 21 year-old male. I was out running my 2 miles. Headphones in, music playing, minding my own
 business. I round the corner at about the halfway point of the run and I see this big black duck looking at
 me. As I get closer, think to myself, "Man, that's a brave duck, why isn't he running away?" I keep running
 and realize the duck not only isn't afraid of me or running away, he's running right at me. So I stop and
 squat down, thinking maybe he was hurt and needed help or something. This bitch ass giant fucking black
 duck takes a huge bite out of my leg. Like, not playing, drew blood kinda bite
 I'm thinking to myself, "What the fuck?" So I'm like, maybe he's just an asshole and I keep running think he
 will leave me alone. I start running again and the faster Irun, the faster he chases me. I start sprinting and
 he is literally flying behind me attacking me. I'm thinking, "Ive got enough fucking problems in my life as it is
 man, I dont need this shit so I stop running again kinda like in disbelief trying to figure out what to do. In all
 my years of being a person, Ive never trained for this
 This little punk ass duck is chomping on my ankles and it's actually really hurting. He starts grabbing my
 shoelaces and untying them as I'm trying to run backwards away from him. Weve covered a quarter mile at
 this point. I try picking him up and throwing him back away from me every time he lunges for blood. I'm
 thinking, "How the fuck am I gonna explain this if I have to go to the doctor for a duck attack? I'm a grown
 ass man. This isbullshit."
 I try running again and he keeps flying after me. I'm at a loss. I dont know what to do at this point. I'm
 manage to get my phone and start texting my girlfriend, asking her what to do. Am I really gonna have to
 kill this duck to get away? Like, I don't want to, but I might have to actually fucking kick this duck or grab it
 by the neck? Seriously?" We have covered 3/4 of a mile at this point. He bites me again and I drop my
 phone. I pick it up quickly. Who do I call? I've got fucking scars and cuts all over me. While I'm debating
 whether stand-your-ground laws apply to ducks, I hear a noise; Someone else was outside walking on an
 adjacent street and came to see what all of the commotion was
 This was a big mistake. The duck smelled blood, and gave up attacking me to chase after my savior. I saw
 my window and booked it home running the last half mile in 2:50 flat. I feel kinda bad, that duck has
 probably killed that dude by now. The last saw of him was the look I took over my shoulder running away
 as he made the same mistake I did, looking down to see if the duck was hurt
worth the read

worth the read

Beer, Confused, and Drinking: a tripad...r.co.uk SHARE HOTOS REVIEWS If im honest the food is ok ' but only if u drink a couple of their flat pints first. l ordered the steak and i did get a tony piece with the lump of fat i got served I went to the bar to order a pint and never got served until i said 'please' i'm 28 years not 28 months Also my friends got ordered off of the table because the food was finished and they didnt have space for people only drinking when they needed the tables for food. We were ordered to stand at the bar only to be told we were clogging the place up and then told to leave. Im laughing typing this as i am so confused as to how the place was so busy with such terrible, angry staff I asked to speak to the manager who spoke and looked like she lived under a bridge Worst bar in Glasgow. But a cracking bit if u order the steak ul get a cracking bit of fat for the dug when u get home Helpful? 70 trípad..r.co.uk SHARE PHOTOS REVIEWS NEARBY Public Relations Manager at responded to this review Having spoken to our staff and watched CCTV we remember the day well Let's start with the "flat pints", our beer selection is pulled through the taps each morning and checked that it is "tap kwality". On the day you mentioned, we had no other complaints about the beer being flat, in fact, we had compliments. Let's move onto the steak. The steak you were served is the same 6oz sirloin that we use on our main meal “Trash Steak" which is one of our top sellers in The ratio of fat to meat is in favour of the meat and when you say "tony" we assume you mean "tiny". Size is a subjective thing and it is encouraging that you think something of a decent a tripad...r.co.uk SHARE PHOTOS REVIEWS NEARBY that you think something of a decent size points more towards the smaller end of the scale. Furthermore, on the day, your party advised that the food was good and you enjoyed it. Your next point regarding saying the word "please" is an interesting one. It's disappointing that you don't feel you need to be polite when requesting something. If you speak to most people, if not all in hospitality, then indeed the customer service industry, you will find that everyone likes to hear the words please" and "thank you". It's this revolutionary thing called manners and has been around for quite some time You should try it With regards to being ordered off the table, Steak Wednesday is one of our busiest days of the week and we have a very large turn over. We therefore want to make sure as many customers get to a tripad...r.co.uk SHARE HOTOS REVIEWS to make sure as many customers get to experience it as possible!Up until 9pm we like to allocate tables for food first and foremost so that people can enjoy their meal and we have the bar area available for drinkers. To recount what happened, you were not ordered to stand at the bar. It was explained that the table was needed for other customers after you had been dining on it for around 2 hours whichi what we feel it ample time to enjoy a meal. Whilst standing at the bar people in your party started to swear and make inappropriate comments about our staff It was also overheard that one of your party threatened violence towards our duty manager. Whilst we understand that there might be the odd comment from customers if something isn't up to scratch or something has affected service, this is not behaviour we will tolerate. Our staff are NOT here to be threatened or abused. They are here to tolerate. Our staff are NOT here to be threatened or abused. They are here to serve you, be spoken to politely and offer a good service As for you comment on our staff member's appearance Paddy, anyone seeing your comment or reading your review will be able to tell more about you as a person than our manager. Take care A long(ish) but satisfying read. When restaurants call out shitty customers.
Beer, Confused, and Drinking: a tripad...r.co.uk
 SHARE
 HOTOS
 REVIEWS
 If im honest the food is ok ' but only if u
 drink a couple of their flat pints first.
 l ordered the steak and i did get a tony
 piece with the lump of fat i got served
 I went to the bar to order a pint and never
 got served until i said 'please' i'm 28 years
 not 28 months
 Also my friends got ordered off of the table
 because the food was finished and they
 didnt have space for people only drinking
 when they needed the tables for food. We
 were ordered to stand at the bar only to be
 told we were clogging the place up and
 then told to leave. Im laughing typing this
 as i am so confused as to how the place
 was so busy with such terrible, angry staff
 I asked to speak to the manager who
 spoke and looked like she lived under a
 bridge
 Worst bar in Glasgow. But a cracking bit if u
 order the steak ul get a cracking bit of fat
 for the dug when u get home
 Helpful? 70

 trípad..r.co.uk
 SHARE
 PHOTOS
 REVIEWS
 NEARBY
 Public Relations Manager at
 responded to this review
 Having spoken to our staff and watched
 CCTV we remember the day well
 Let's start with the "flat pints", our beer
 selection is pulled through the taps each
 morning and checked that it is "tap
 kwality". On the day you mentioned, we
 had no other complaints about the beer
 being flat, in fact, we had compliments.
 Let's move onto the steak. The steak
 you were served is the same 6oz sirloin
 that we use on our main meal “Trash
 Steak" which is one of our top sellers in
 The ratio of fat to meat is in favour
 of the meat and when you say "tony" we
 assume you mean "tiny". Size is a
 subjective thing and it is encouraging
 that you think something of a decent

 a tripad...r.co.uk
 SHARE
 PHOTOS
 REVIEWS
 NEARBY
 that you think something of a decent
 size points more towards the smaller
 end of the scale. Furthermore, on the
 day, your party advised that the food
 was good and you enjoyed it.
 Your next point regarding saying the
 word "please" is an interesting one. It's
 disappointing that you don't feel you
 need to be polite when requesting
 something. If you speak to most people,
 if not all in hospitality, then indeed the
 customer service industry, you will find
 that everyone likes to hear the words
 please" and "thank you". It's this
 revolutionary thing called manners and
 has been around for quite some time
 You should try it
 With regards to being ordered off the
 table, Steak Wednesday is one of our
 busiest days of the week and we have a
 very large turn over. We therefore want
 to make sure as many customers get to

 a tripad...r.co.uk
 SHARE
 HOTOS
 REVIEWS
 to make sure as many customers get to
 experience it as possible!Up until 9pm
 we like to allocate tables for food first
 and foremost so that people can enjoy
 their meal and we have the bar area
 available for drinkers.
 To recount what happened, you were
 not ordered to stand at the bar. It was
 explained that the table was needed for
 other customers after you had been
 dining on it for around 2 hours whichi
 what we feel it ample time to enjoy a
 meal. Whilst standing at the bar people
 in your party started to swear and make
 inappropriate comments about our staff
 It was also overheard that one of your
 party threatened violence towards our
 duty manager. Whilst we understand
 that there might be the odd comment
 from customers if something isn't up to
 scratch or something has affected
 service, this is not behaviour we will
 tolerate. Our staff are NOT here to be
 threatened or abused. They are here to

 tolerate. Our staff are NOT here to be
 threatened or abused. They are here to
 serve you, be spoken to politely and
 offer a good service
 As for you comment on our staff
 member's appearance Paddy, anyone
 seeing your comment or reading your
 review will be able to tell more about
 you as a person than our manager.
 Take care
A long(ish) but satisfying read. When restaurants call out shitty customers.

A long(ish) but satisfying read. When restaurants call out shitty customers.

Ass, Beautiful, and Bitch: When she takes you back to her place and you notice some red flags but you play it off cuz you're trying to get your dick wet teel very welcome here. When you trying to catch some soul snatching, toes curling, meat coiling. Metal twisting, ducks flapping, cows chirping, ball jiggling , nipples burning head nothing can come in the way. If I had a choice between answering grandpa Dales life alert call or that 2am you up text, Ima be excavating that pussy like the Miranda trench. I nut quick so I’ll be back in time to assist with his life alert. I hate sex. No honestly it’s complicated. You gotta find a apropoate time, place, what if she’s on her period that week? I don’t bang with that blood shit. Not to mention feelings can be caught like receivers, stds transferred like a bus ride, and hope crushed like a cervix. When them beautiful ebony cheeks spread and that feeling of paradise cause her walls to talk. Color coordinated and all that was a pipe dream. When there was chocolate mud cake waiting for me. Me, being the genuine guy that I am. Notified this girl there was shit in her ass. Bitch dead giggled and said stop lien. This probably the worse times for me to play 2 truths and a lie. What do you do when she doesn’t believe you? What you think I did? I love finger painting. When life gives you lemon make lemonade.
Ass, Beautiful, and Bitch: When she takes you back to her
 place and you notice some red
 flags but you play it off cuz you're
 trying to get your dick wet
 teel very welcome here.
When you trying to catch some soul snatching, toes curling, meat coiling. Metal twisting, ducks flapping, cows chirping, ball jiggling , nipples burning head nothing can come in the way. If I had a choice between answering grandpa Dales life alert call or that 2am you up text, Ima be excavating that pussy like the Miranda trench. I nut quick so I’ll be back in time to assist with his life alert. I hate sex. No honestly it’s complicated. You gotta find a apropoate time, place, what if she’s on her period that week? I don’t bang with that blood shit. Not to mention feelings can be caught like receivers, stds transferred like a bus ride, and hope crushed like a cervix. When them beautiful ebony cheeks spread and that feeling of paradise cause her walls to talk. Color coordinated and all that was a pipe dream. When there was chocolate mud cake waiting for me. Me, being the genuine guy that I am. Notified this girl there was shit in her ass. Bitch dead giggled and said stop lien. This probably the worse times for me to play 2 truths and a lie. What do you do when she doesn’t believe you? What you think I did? I love finger painting. When life gives you lemon make lemonade.

When you trying to catch some soul snatching, toes curling, meat coiling. Metal twisting, ducks flapping, cows chirping, ball jiggling , nip...

5 Am, Ass, and Bad: Anonymous 09/29/17(Fri)19:54:36 No. 746664631 >2746670273 My autistic tinder hookup be me, 19 > ust quit night job, sleep schedule fucked up > have a cold > trying to stay up to fix sleep schedule, dying > fuck with girls on tinder, don't really care about it > used to try to get girls on it, gave up after only whales and retards were dtf > match with a mexican girl, 50 miles away > she's okay looking, not bad but nothing too special > send her a message saying "u like spaghettio?" > spaghettio's autocorrected to spaghettio, I thought it was funny > she just says "yes" > don't reply for a few hours > she sends me a message saving "you look like you have a big dick > I am confused and assure her that I do not > she says she wants to be penetrated > she says that she is moving away for school soon and doesn't want anything serious > I look her up on facebook and make sure that l'm not being catfished > see that she's about to move from the Midwest to California for school > the school is a community college > the subject gets changed, I ask her about herself while I nervously try to decide if I should fuck her > she starts telling me about her political stances, and how she wants to change the world > says she wants to teach at an inner-city school > I asked if she has ever gone to one, she says no but that she rode a bus with one once, and the students were all ignorant > she sends me a 15 minute john oliver video about translators helping the military in the middle east > I watch it for some reason > she starts talking about us fucking again > decide fuck it, I'm tired of missing my chances to get free puss > my only prior sexual experience is jerking my flaccid dick off on an escort's couch for 10 minutes tell her I'm dtf, ask for her numbe > she won't give it to me, she doesn't want us to get that close since she's moving > tells me she doesn't want to kiss when we hook up > fine with me, I'm bad at it anyways > she sends me her address Anonymous 09/29/17(Fri)19 57 04 No. 746664850 File: 2.ipg (35 KB, 324x470) s it's almost 10 pm at this point, I've already been awake for 23 hours > I shower and finally leave at like 11 get in my newly-purchased $1500 piece of shit car > loud as fuck, power steering barely functional, tire pressure terrible > start heading to her house, 1 hr 20 min trip according to google > realize that I should stop to get a 5 hour energy and put air in my tires > go to speedway, buy the 5 hour energy -1/--Hime > cashier keeps talking to me about how I'll need it for pokemon go (it just came out) > he won't stop talking about it, meanwhile im nervous as fuck finally leave, put air in my tires > their pressure is extremely low and I've only driven for 20 minutes so far > keep going, scared that car isn't going to be able to make it > stop again at another speedway, about an hour into the trip >put the air in my tires, try to find my way back to highway > have shitty ass cheap phone service, can't get google maps to load > just get back on highway and keep driving for a while > google maps is loading again, I make it to her town > having severe stomach issues, about to shit myself > lose service in her town, have no idea where I'm at >pull up to a sketchy ass gas station, go in to release my bowels > later in life I find out that I have irritable bowel syndrome > shit in the bathroom for probably 15 minutes, it's now almost 1 am > leave the bathroom, 2 men standing at the counter smiling at me > avoid eye contact and leave > still nervous as fuck and without phone service > drive around her town not knowing what to do >want to go home, but I've already made it this far so I cant give up finally get service, check tinder to see over 10 messages from her > she's getting pissed and wants to know what's going on > I park in front of someone's house and tell her that I'm lost > try to memorize directions to her house in case I lose service again > head to her house once again, lose service >think I find her house, but it's a two-family house and her neighbors are outside for some reason > not sure what to do or where to park drive around the block a few times, her neighbors are obviously suspicious that my loud ass car keeps passing by finally decide to park, pull up in front of her house > her neighbors are staring at me, start calling someone > luckily have service and can message her > tell her ive arrived > unluckily she's retarded and won't come to the door she tells me to just walk in > tell her that sounds sketchy > she still wont come to the door, says shes busy drinking water neighbors still staring at me, almost 10 minutes have passed > decide fuck it, ill walk in > cop car pulls up as im getting out of my car s they shine their spotlight on me, they don't say anything > I wave like the autist I am to them > they don't react > just walk in, my heart is pounding > she's standing by the doorway wearing panties and a tank top > don't understand why she didn't just let me in but whatever she grabs me and leads me through her dark house > there is a child that she is supposed to be babysitting sleeping on the couch > her bed is just 2 twin size beds next to each other > it's hot as fuck and I don't think there is any AC, only a fan there's a huge mirror in front of her bed > Christmas lights all over her room > she lays down > I stand there awkwardly, unsure of what to do > just make small-talk about her neighbors she says something like "are we going to fuck or not?" > nervously strip to my baggy boxer-briefs >get in the bed, start kissing her thighs > she tells me to eat her out > I have no idea how to pull her panties off and start licking her nether regions no clue what im doing, she seems to be enjoying somehow though > decide to stick a finger in, she likes it s haphazardly jam more fingers in, she still likes it O Anonymous 09/29/17(Fri)20:12:17 No.746666235 File: 4ipg (20 KB, 450x319) 2-746666831 >-746669345 >barely get it on, stick my chub inside her > thrust into her for a couple minutes, starting to lose breath > losing my boner minutes losing my boner > I get up and take my condom off > she starts sucking my dick her face is right around the corner from my asshole and I just had diarrhea she says she wants to ride me, I lay in the middle of her bed > the mattresses start to spread apart >I move to lay against the wall mostly on one mattress > it was dark so I couldn't tell, but I probably left ass sweat and shit stains all over her bed her titties are in my face, not totally sure what to do about them > I get back on top go for a few more minutes until I almost die she asks whyI keep getting so tired fuck her > I've been up for over 24 hours at this point, still sick we lay around talking about stuff for a while >trying to cool off, I don't even have a water >she rubs her hand on my dick and licks the precum off her finger > she sits on my dick while telling random stories tells me about how she was molested as a child probably giving me herpes > child starts knocking on door, crying > she yells at him to get back to bed > we get back to sex after 45 minutes try a few more positions > get her to try out some stuff like titty fucking and a foot job > I say "im gay" every time we switch positions because I am an autist and find it funny she asks me why I keep making fun of gay people she starts licking my mouth and tongue even though she said we shouldn't kiss > she's rubbing my dick on her clit and im about to cum > not sure what to do or say or where to cum > start to cum on her chest she sticks my dick in her mouth as I finish > we clean up, I ask her if she wants me to leave or if we should keep fucking > she says she planned on continuing > I somehow don't lose my erection and im miraculously able to continue >we do a few more positions, my unprotected dick is inside her while there is probably cum in my urethra Anonymous 09/29/17(Fri)20:14:53 No.746666535· File: 5ipg (258 KB, 1300x1131) 746667711 >im fucking her hard at one point, she's moaning "seel See!" > ask her "see what? > she says "no, Spanish" > Im a retard > almost an hour goes by, we're both tired and hot now she says she really wants to do some freaky shit, asks me for ideas > I don't fucking know > I think she mightve came twice, I don't really remember >she came at least once, not sure how I did it >I just want to get another nut off > she's ferociously sucking my dick, im >she gives up and lays with her face in the bed, her ass up > it takes every little bit of energy for me to cum onto her ass 9 she tells me to take a photo so I do >she tries to move my hand to her asshole, I resist > get dressed, go for a hug she gives me a high-five instead, doesn't want us to get close >say bye, leave > drive home for over an hour >awake for like 30 hours, dehydrated, hot > contemplating life, the possibility that I got her pregnant > probably have herpes > just want to go home and shower and sleep > have never felt so dead inside >get home after 5 am, dad is getting ready for work >go to sleep without showering > periodically look her up to make sure she isn't pregnant struggling to cum Anon gets laid
5 Am, Ass, and Bad: Anonymous 09/29/17(Fri)19:54:36 No. 746664631
 >2746670273
 My autistic tinder hookup
 be me, 19
 > ust quit night job, sleep schedule fucked up
 > have a cold
 > trying to stay up to fix sleep schedule, dying
 > fuck with girls on tinder, don't really care about it
 > used to try to get girls on it, gave up after only whales and
 retards were dtf
 > match with a mexican girl, 50 miles away
 > she's okay looking, not bad but nothing too special
 > send her a message saying "u like spaghettio?"
 > spaghettio's autocorrected to spaghettio, I thought it was funny
 > she just says "yes"
 > don't reply for a few hours
 > she sends me a message saving "you look like you have a big
 dick
 > I am confused and assure her that I do not
 > she says she wants to be penetrated
 > she says that she is moving away for school soon and doesn't want anything serious
 > I look her up on facebook and make sure that l'm not being catfished
 > see that she's about to move from the Midwest to California for school
 > the school is a community college
 > the subject gets changed, I ask her about herself while I nervously try to decide if I should
 fuck her
 > she starts telling me about her political stances, and how she wants to change the world
 > says she wants to teach at an inner-city school
 > I asked if she has ever gone to one, she says no but that she rode a bus with one once, and
 the students were all ignorant
 > she sends me a 15 minute john oliver video about translators helping the military in the
 middle east
 > I watch it for some reason
 > she starts talking about us fucking again
 > decide fuck it, I'm tired of missing my chances to get free puss
 > my only prior sexual experience is jerking my flaccid dick off on an escort's couch for 10
 minutes
 tell her I'm dtf, ask for her numbe
 > she won't give it to me, she doesn't want us to get that close since she's moving
 > tells me she doesn't want to kiss when we hook up
 > fine with me, I'm bad at it anyways
 > she sends me her address

 Anonymous 09/29/17(Fri)19 57 04 No. 746664850
 File: 2.ipg (35 KB, 324x470)
 s it's almost 10 pm at this point, I've already been awake for 23 hours
 > I shower and finally leave at like 11
 get in my newly-purchased $1500 piece of shit car
 > loud as fuck, power steering barely functional, tire pressure terrible
 > start heading to her house, 1 hr 20 min trip according to google
 > realize that I should stop to get a 5 hour energy and put air in my
 tires
 > go to speedway, buy the 5 hour energy
 -1/--Hime
 > cashier keeps talking to me about how I'll need it for pokemon go (it just came out)
 > he won't stop talking about it, meanwhile im nervous as fuck
 finally leave, put air in my tires
 > their pressure is extremely low and I've only driven for 20 minutes so far
 > keep going, scared that car isn't going to be able to make it
 > stop again at another speedway, about an hour into the trip
 >put the air in my tires, try to find my way back to highway
 > have shitty ass cheap phone service, can't get google maps to load
 > just get back on highway and keep driving for a while
 > google maps is loading again, I make it to her town
 > having severe stomach issues, about to shit myself
 > lose service in her town, have no idea where I'm at
 >pull up to a sketchy ass gas station, go in to release my bowels
 > later in life I find out that I have irritable bowel syndrome
 > shit in the bathroom for probably 15 minutes, it's now almost 1 am
 > leave the bathroom, 2 men standing at the counter smiling at me
 > avoid eye contact and leave
 > still nervous as fuck and without phone service
 > drive around her town not knowing what to do
 >want to go home, but I've already made it this far so I cant give up
 finally get service, check tinder to see over 10 messages from her
 > she's getting pissed and wants to know what's going on
 > I park in front of someone's house and tell her that I'm lost
 > try to memorize directions to her house in case I lose service again
 > head to her house once again, lose service

 >think I find her house, but it's a two-family house and her neighbors
 are outside for some reason
 > not sure what to do or where to park
 drive around the block a few times, her neighbors are obviously
 suspicious that my loud ass car keeps passing by
 finally decide to park, pull up in front of her house
 > her neighbors are staring at me, start calling someone
 > luckily have service and can message her
 > tell her ive arrived
 > unluckily she's retarded and won't come to the door
 she tells me to just walk in
 > tell her that sounds sketchy
 > she still wont come to the door, says shes busy drinking water
 neighbors still staring at me, almost 10 minutes have passed
 > decide fuck it, ill walk in
 > cop car pulls up as im getting out of my car
 s they shine their spotlight on me, they don't say anything
 > I wave like the autist I am to them
 > they don't react
 > just walk in, my heart is pounding
 > she's standing by the doorway wearing panties and a tank top
 > don't understand why she didn't just let me in but whatever
 she grabs me and leads me through her dark house
 > there is a child that she is supposed to be babysitting sleeping on the couch
 > her bed is just 2 twin size beds next to each other
 > it's hot as fuck and I don't think there is any AC, only a fan
 there's a huge mirror in front of her bed
 > Christmas lights all over her room
 > she lays down
 > I stand there awkwardly, unsure of what to do
 > just make small-talk about her neighbors
 she says something like "are we going to fuck or not?"
 > nervously strip to my baggy boxer-briefs
 >get in the bed, start kissing her thighs
 > she tells me to eat her out
 > I have no idea how to
 pull her panties off and start licking her nether regions
 no clue what im doing, she seems to be enjoying somehow though
 > decide to stick a finger in, she likes it
 s haphazardly jam more fingers in, she still likes it

 O Anonymous 09/29/17(Fri)20:12:17 No.746666235
 File: 4ipg (20 KB, 450x319)
 2-746666831 >-746669345
 >barely get it on, stick my chub inside her
 > thrust into her for a couple minutes, starting to lose breath
 > losing my boner
 minutes
 losing my boner
 > I get up and take my condom off
 > she starts sucking my dick
 her face is right around the corner from my asshole and I just had
 diarrhea
 she says she wants to ride me, I lay in the middle of her bed
 > the mattresses start to spread apart
 >I move to lay against the wall mostly on one mattress
 > it was dark so I couldn't tell, but I probably left ass sweat and shit stains all over her bed
 her titties are in my face, not totally sure what to do about them
 > I get back on top
 go for a few more minutes until I almost die
 she asks whyI keep getting so tired
 fuck her
 > I've been up for over 24 hours at this point, still sick
 we lay around talking about stuff for a while
 >trying to cool off, I don't even have a water
 >she rubs her hand on my dick and licks the precum off her finger
 > she sits on my dick while telling random stories
 tells me about how she was molested as a child
 probably giving me herpes
 > child starts knocking on door, crying
 > she yells at him to get back to bed
 > we get back to sex after 45 minutes
 try a few more positions
 > get her to try out some stuff like titty fucking and a foot job
 > I say "im gay" every time we switch positions because I am an autist and find it funny
 she asks me why I keep making fun of gay people
 she starts licking my mouth and tongue even though she said we shouldn't kiss
 > she's rubbing my dick on her clit and im about to cum
 > not sure what to do or say or where to cum
 > start to cum on her chest
 she sticks my dick in her mouth as I finish
 > we clean up, I ask her if she wants me to leave or if we should keep fucking
 > she says she planned on continuing
 > I somehow don't lose my erection and im miraculously able to continue
 >we do a few more positions, my unprotected dick is inside her while there is probably
 cum in my urethra

 Anonymous 09/29/17(Fri)20:14:53 No.746666535·
 File: 5ipg (258 KB, 1300x1131)
 746667711
 >im fucking her hard at one point, she's
 moaning "seel See!"
 > ask her "see what?
 > she says "no, Spanish"
 > Im a retard
 > almost an hour goes by, we're both tired and
 hot now
 she says she really wants to do some freaky shit, asks me for ideas
 > I don't fucking know
 > I think she mightve came twice, I don't really remember
 >she came at least once, not sure how I did it
 >I just want to get another nut off
 > she's ferociously sucking my dick, im
 >she gives up and lays with her face in the bed, her ass up
 > it takes every little bit of energy for me to cum onto her ass
 9 she tells me to take a photo so I do
 >she tries to move my hand to her asshole, I resist
 > get dressed, go for a hug
 she gives me a high-five instead, doesn't want us to get close
 >say bye, leave
 > drive home for over an hour
 >awake for like 30 hours, dehydrated, hot
 > contemplating life, the possibility that I got her pregnant
 > probably have herpes
 > just want to go home and shower and sleep
 > have never felt so dead inside
 >get home after 5 am, dad is getting ready for work
 >go to sleep without showering
 > periodically look her up to make sure she isn't pregnant
 struggling to cum
Anon gets laid

Anon gets laid

Children, College, and Fall: Former President Barack Obama Says He Cried After Malia Obama's Harvard Sendoff @balleralert Former President Barack Obama Says He Cried After Malia Obama’s Harvard Sendoff - blogged by @MsJennyb ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Last month, former President BarackObama dropped his oldest daughter off to her campus residence at Harvard University. However, like many other families who sent their children off to start their educational career this fall, President Obama was overcome with emotion at the sight of his little girl embarking on this new journey. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ “For those of us who have daughters, it just happens fast. I dropped off Malia at college, and I was saying to Joe and Jill [Biden] that it was a little bit like open-heart surgery,” Obama said at the Beau Biden Foundation’s for the Protection of Children reception on Sunday. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ “I was proud that I did not cry in front of her,” Obama quipped. “But on the way back, the Secret Service was off, looking straight ahead, pretending they weren’t hearing me as I sniffled and blew my nose. It was rough.” ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Obama continued, saying the experience was “a reminder that, at the end of our lives, whatever else we’ve accomplished, the things that we’ll remember are the joys that our children – and hopefully way later, our grandchildren – bring us.” ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ The former president spoke at the reception to honor former Vice President JoeBiden’s late son, Beau, who died of brain cancer back in 2015. Obama spoke highly of the foundation and its work to protect children, saying “It is proper and right that somebody as thoughtful and genuine and strong as Beau made it one of his missions to make sure that every child had protection.” ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ He continued, saying “I am here just to lend my voice and my support to a family that I care deeply about, to honor a man that I thought the world of, and to say thank you to all of you for supporting this wonderful cause.”
Children, College, and Fall: Former President Barack Obama Says
 He Cried After Malia Obama's Harvard
 Sendoff
 @balleralert
Former President Barack Obama Says He Cried After Malia Obama’s Harvard Sendoff - blogged by @MsJennyb ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Last month, former President BarackObama dropped his oldest daughter off to her campus residence at Harvard University. However, like many other families who sent their children off to start their educational career this fall, President Obama was overcome with emotion at the sight of his little girl embarking on this new journey. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ “For those of us who have daughters, it just happens fast. I dropped off Malia at college, and I was saying to Joe and Jill [Biden] that it was a little bit like open-heart surgery,” Obama said at the Beau Biden Foundation’s for the Protection of Children reception on Sunday. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ “I was proud that I did not cry in front of her,” Obama quipped. “But on the way back, the Secret Service was off, looking straight ahead, pretending they weren’t hearing me as I sniffled and blew my nose. It was rough.” ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Obama continued, saying the experience was “a reminder that, at the end of our lives, whatever else we’ve accomplished, the things that we’ll remember are the joys that our children – and hopefully way later, our grandchildren – bring us.” ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ The former president spoke at the reception to honor former Vice President JoeBiden’s late son, Beau, who died of brain cancer back in 2015. Obama spoke highly of the foundation and its work to protect children, saying “It is proper and right that somebody as thoughtful and genuine and strong as Beau made it one of his missions to make sure that every child had protection.” ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ He continued, saying “I am here just to lend my voice and my support to a family that I care deeply about, to honor a man that I thought the world of, and to say thank you to all of you for supporting this wonderful cause.”

Former President Barack Obama Says He Cried After Malia Obama’s Harvard Sendoff - blogged by @MsJennyb ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Last month, former Pr...