🔥 25+ Best Memes About I Have a

Anaconda, Bored, and Memes: When I'm bored I message the hookers on backpage and see if I can get them to do manual labor Hey what are your prices? 100 half hour 150 hour And you'll do anything I want? Yes papi Ok good I have a really long fence that needs to be painted. Shouldn't take you more than 30 min I have cash Delivered Like an actual fence? This is actually genius!

This is actually genius!

Anaconda, Bored, and Memes: When I'm bored I message the hookers on backpage and see if I can get them to do manual labor Hey what are your prices? 100 half hour 150 hour And you'll do anything I want? Yes papi Ok good I have a really long fence that needs to be painted. Shouldn't take you more than 30 min I have cash Delivered Like an actual fence? A real fence. via /r/memes https://ift.tt/2QHoaic

A real fence. via /r/memes https://ift.tt/2QHoaic

Beautiful, Juice, and Lol: mistress-flamecaller: tinymothman plague-sprite This is the single greatest thing I've ever impulse bought. My previous pencil pouch was a realistic juice box but the shock factor on THIS THING IS BETTER. Wait until I pull this out in class i have a mighty need. This is beautiful Photos Source: plague-sprite lol-coaster: Fish Zipper Pouch

lol-coaster: Fish Zipper Pouch

Memes, 🤖, and Paper: me ignoring the fact that I have a paper due at 11:59 tonight Stay woke

Stay woke

Memes, Police, and Soon...: memes.bird Can we all take a moment to PRAISE my cockatiel bean? She alerted me that there was a stranger in my home!!! She saved us from being robbed yesterday and I could never ask for a better bird! She was SCREAMING (she does that when she doesn't know someone) *and yes she's ok* Edit; I was asleep and only woke up because I heard her! Yes police were called but as soon as the guy heard my bedroom door crack open he BOLTED. Good thing I have a security birb! 1,974 likes security birb

security birb

9gag, Memes, and Ugly: Would you wanna go out or something? Hell no, Mike, you're ugly At least I have a good heart I dont need a transplant At least she's honest. foreveralone 9gag

At least she's honest. foreveralone 9gag

Family, Jealous, and Marriage: I'm actually jealous of you. You've got stability, a great marriage, devoted kids You know what I have? A Sims family that keeps getting murdered

Memes, Chicken, and 🤖: TO THOSE DEMANDING S15 I HAVE A COUPON $ 5.99 s 7.99 WITH GRI D CHICKEN WITHOUT CHICKEN AXER ALADS $ 7.99 TURNING POINT USA MEET YOUR REPLACEMENT YUP! #BigGovSucks

YUP! #BigGovSucks

Beautiful, Music, and Duke: ed-nygma-variations i have a friend who is colorblind i have another friend with synesthesia where she sees colors when she listens to music my colorbind friend has always wanted to see color and because my friend with synesthesia and my colorblind friend have the same taste in music, she describes color to my colorblind friend by relating it back to music like "the sky is duke ellington's satin doll" and it is the purest thing this is what pure friendship is maneth985 that's so weirdly amazing This is so beautiful!!

This is so beautiful!!

Bitch, Memes, and Phone: My phone is always on silent. I don't even know if I have a ring tone. lf someone ever needs to contact me in an emergency, I suggest you call someone else. l suggest you cal I’m a danger to myself so it’s best I don’t help others 😬 Follow my main bitch @thespeckyblonde @thespeckyblonde @thespeckyblonde @thespeckyblonde

I’m a danger to myself so it’s best I don’t help others 😬 Follow my main bitch @thespeckyblonde @thespeckyblonde @thespeckyblonde @thespecky...

Dad, Funny, and Pregnant: Messages Dad Edit Hey son. Do you need anything from the store, while I'm here?? Yeah... Can you pick me up some condoms? I have a date tonight... Son... Yeah, Dad? You realize that you can't get your hand pregnant... Lmaooo 😂😂😂

Lmaooo 😂😂😂

Affect, Alphabet, and Meaning: Sam Clark @SamClark 23 Someone asked my professor the difference between "affect" and "effect" and he said, "Honestly I have no clue.I have a PhD and wrote my entire dissertation without using either word. Just try and avoid it at all costs" retroactivebakeries effect: usually a noun, but with a somewhat esoteric alternate meaning as a verb affect: usually a verb, noun but with a somewhat esoteric alternative meaning as a if you can't tell the difference between effect and affect... you. are. valic. writingpseudonym A comes before E in the alphabet. You have to affect something in order to experience an effect Source: deeplifequotes 7,642 notes

Internet, Martin, and Memes: Wi-Fi: attivo Disattiva Wi-Fi V TISCALL EXT De DIRECT-AA-HP ENVY 5000... Martin Router King Telecom-61313550 TISCALI Vodafone-WiFi VodafoneMobileWiFi-F6BB69 Wi-Fi WOW FI FASTWEB Accedi a un'altra rete... Crea rete... Apri preferenze Rete Non sono degno di avere questi vicini TML "I have a ping" (by @framiriello) tmlplanet wifi internet casa vicini router

"I have a ping" (by @framiriello) tmlplanet wifi internet casa vicini router

Beautiful, Juice, and Lol: mistress-flamecaller: tinymothman plague-sprite This is the single greatest thing I've ever impulse bought. My previous pencil pouch was a realistic juice box but the shock factor on THIS THING IS BETTER. Wait until I pull this out in class i have a mighty need. This is beautiful Photos Source: plague-sprite lol-coaster: Fish Zipper Pouch

lol-coaster: Fish Zipper Pouch

Memes, Been, and 🤖: surprised that I have a double chin even though l've been eating garbage all year I’m shook 🐖 Follow @thesassbible @thesassbible @thesassbible @thesassbible

I’m shook 🐖 Follow @thesassbible @thesassbible @thesassbible @thesassbible

Dank, Phone, and 🤖: My phone is always on silent. I don't even know if I have a ring tone.f someone ever needs to contact me in an emergency, I suggest you cal someone else 🤣

🤣

Girls, Hello, and Life: coding.engineer @science | guff.c This Victoria's Secret model can program code in Python, Ctt Java, MIPS, and Objective-C tahan tahsu Anyone? I don't think so 2d Reply alrezo 2 Only print "Hello World! 3d 1like Reply aorYeah she can write Hello World 3d 1 like Reply an What a waste 3d Reply lyndsey360 I have 27481 points on StackOverflow; I'm on the iOS tutorial team for RayWendelich.com; I'm the Lead iOS software engineer for @RallyBound, the 841st fastest growing company in the US according to @incmagazine, I have a Bachelors degree from Amherst where I double majored in computer science and theater, and I'm able to live my life doing everythingI love. Looking at these comments wonder why 41% of women in technical careers drop out because of a hostile work environment, #gofigure 2d 189 likeS Renly programmerhumour:Pure savage Girls can be coders too

programmerhumour:Pure savage Girls can be coders too

Memes, Scream, and Shrek: I keep forgetting I have a shrek mask hanging from my ceiling and every time Isee it I scream Intentional nightmare fuel via /r/memes https://ift.tt/2CBUxfl

Intentional nightmare fuel via /r/memes https://ift.tt/2CBUxfl

A Dream, Music, and Tumblr: woodissimo:Mamma Mia - I Have a Dream - music box with custom music

woodissimo:Mamma Mia - I Have a Dream - music box with custom music

Beautiful, Juice, and Lol: mistress-flamecaller: tinymothman plague-sprite This is the single greatest thing I've ever impulse bought. My previous pencil pouch was a realistic juice box but the shock factor on THIS THING IS BETTER. Wait until I pull this out in class i have a mighty need. This is beautiful Photos Source: plague-sprite lol-coaster: Fish Zipper Pouch

lol-coaster: Fish Zipper Pouch

Friends, Gif, and Tumblr: Kate Leth @kateleth Following #PrideMonthv confront your biphobia! This means us too, bi-folks! Quit invalidating yourself, you COUNT is a areat time to examine & RETWEETS LIKES 134 370 8:05 PM-2 Jun 2017 Kate Leth @kateleth Following "But I have a het partner-" YOU COUNT "But I've never kissed-" COUNTED "But I usually date-" YOU'RE IN But my gay friends say- TOO GIF RETWEETS LIKES 145 434 profeminist: speciesofleastconcern: profeminist: Source BI PRIDE and VISIBILITY not ERASURE!!! Happy Pride Month 2017!!! #to all my bi friends and/or followers #you count #💕 Happy Bi Visibility Month 2018!!!

profeminist: speciesofleastconcern: profeminist: Source BI PRIDE and VISIBILITY not ERASURE!!! Happy Pride Month 2017!!! #to all my bi f...

Tumblr, Blog, and Weather: I HAVE A HEADACHE THIS WEATHER STINKS. By. SEP 18 043 1 42 imbackbiches: gods-little-punk: officialfist: This is funnier than anything shitpostbot could ever dream of. Only 32 days until this joke expires. Reblog while you can. This joke expires in 2 days folks

imbackbiches: gods-little-punk: officialfist: This is funnier than anything shitpostbot could ever dream of. Only 32 days until this joke ...

Family, History, and Confederate: . 4h My great grandfather on my mother's side was a slave plantation owner (and all Confederate pro-slavery whites), and my entire family history on my father's side were German Nazis. I don't think I have a single thing in any of my lineage that I'm remotely proud of, but it's at least interesting. Reply 287 3h You're proof that two wrongs make a right Reply 234 So wholesome

So wholesome

Memes, Taken, and Goal: I've taken too many '"before' pictures while telling myself I'm going to start getting into shape, so basically I have a slideshow of me getting more fat Hands up if this is also you 🙋🏽‍♀️🙋🏽‍♀️🙋🏽‍♀️💯I look back at my first “progress” photo as a goal body 😭😩

Hands up if this is also you 🙋🏽‍♀️🙋🏽‍♀️🙋🏽‍♀️💯I look back at my first “progress” photo as a goal body 😭😩

Af, Fucking, and Nudes: I'm going to fap to your photos and there's nothing you can do to stop me Cool let me know how it goes, mate Went okayyy Half way through I realized you're a girl and ruined everything I apologize for confusing your penis and ruining your fap session Whoa did you just assume I have a penis? Fucking transphobe Joke's on you. You thought I was a girl but I actually identify as three gerbils stacked on top of each other in a trench coat. If you want to help out and send some bikini photos or something to help me out that'd be cool I'm trying to be respectful and not ask for nudes because that's rude af Challenge Accepted

Challenge Accepted

Shrek, Swamp, and Always: My dying wish is that I have a shrek headstone so that He is always protecting my swamp

Black, Racist, and Girl Memes: "I'm not racist, I have a black friend" That black friend 😂😂😂😂😂😂

😂😂😂😂😂😂

9gag, Dank, and Ugly: Would you wanna go out or something? Hell no, Mike, you're ugly At least I have a good heart I dont need a transplant At least she's honest. https://9gag.com/gag/a2o0EyD?ref=fbpic

At least she's honest. https://9gag.com/gag/a2o0EyD?ref=fbpic

Memes, Best, and Paint: HE KNOWS HER SO WELL THIS Is SO ADORABLE 25 11.24ル Did you just paint your thumb to take this pic? Cause I have a feeling you did What No Read 12:54 PM Tag the person who knows you best ❤️

Tag the person who knows you best ❤️

Dad, Tumblr, and Twitter: I HAVE A BRoTHER | HAVE ERA SISTER HESP.ADOPTED ADOPTED WERE ACTVALLY HE HAS BLUE SKIN.BLUE HAS SkI DON'T TELL ME SHE TRIES YES To KILL YoU!Do DO THEY Come FROM SAME FAMIUY!? /D 澈翼ycyanwhisky I ADOPTED BY A BLVE DAD AND HE WANTS TO EAT ME! DON'T PETER DONT LOSE! A COMPETUMON MAKE SITUATON MORE COMPLICANE cyancrown: Peter doesn’t lose. twitter

cyancrown: Peter doesn’t lose. twitter

A Dream, Music, and Tumblr: woodissimo:Mamma Mia - I Have a Dream - music box with custom music

woodissimo:Mamma Mia - I Have a Dream - music box with custom music

Beautiful, Juice, and Lol: mistress-flamecaller: tinymothman plague-sprite This is the single greatest thing I've ever impulse bought. My previous pencil pouch was a realistic juice box but the shock factor on THIS THING IS BETTER. Wait until I pull this out in class i have a mighty need. This is beautiful Photos Source: plague-sprite lol-coaster: Fish Zipper Pouch

lol-coaster: Fish Zipper Pouch

Memes, Justice, and Reality: Dodger @El Dodgero Follow ) Replying to WilliamShatner Why are you so opposed to social justice? 11:42 PM - 8 Feb 2018 1 Retweet 36 Likes William Shatner Follow WilliamShatner I have no problem with social justice I have a problem with the toxicity of those who do things under the guise of social justice when in reality it's them oppressing others for their own selfish, personal agendas. 13,201 Retweets 43,281 Likes 0 (GC)

(GC)

Grandma, Lol, and My House: 12-52 PM Thanksgiving dinner is at my house on Nov. 24 at 3:00pm. Let me know if you're coming. Hope to see you all. Of course that includes Amanda & Justin Who is those 2 Yes, here I'm at work Your grandma o andma? Can I have a picture G N Of who? You lol You not my grandma Message Can I still get a plate tho? Of course you can. That's what grandma's do...eed every one Wrong Text Gone Wholesome

Wrong Text Gone Wholesome

Beautiful, Juice, and Lol: mistress-flamecaller: tinymothman plague-sprite This is the single greatest thing I've ever impulse bought. My previous pencil pouch was a realistic juice box but the shock factor on THIS THING IS BETTER. Wait until I pull this out in class i have a mighty need. This is beautiful Photos Source: plague-sprite lol-coaster: Fish Zipper Pouch

lol-coaster: Fish Zipper Pouch

Dog, Bolt, and Think: I think I have a new favourite picture of my dog Bolt! It's just so majestic!

Life, Memes, and Twitter: SZRP @trvpisnm sometimes u just gotta clean your room and apply an elaborate skincare routine and pretend that's equivalent to getting ur life in order if my room is clean and i have a face mask on, i am my best self (@trvpism on Twitter)

if my room is clean and i have a face mask on, i am my best self (@trvpism on Twitter)

Boyfriend, Wholesome, and Her: ME: Can l buy you a drink? HER: I have a boyfriend ME: (counting coins on the table) He can only get something small then. 5/16/18, 8:29 AM Wholesome moment at a bar

Wholesome moment at a bar

Beautiful, Juice, and Lol: mistress-flamecaller: tinymothman plague-sprite This is the single greatest thing I've ever impulse bought. My previous pencil pouch was a realistic juice box but the shock factor on THIS THING IS BETTER. Wait until I pull this out in class i have a mighty need. This is beautiful Photos Source: plague-sprite lol-coaster: Fish Zipper Pouch

lol-coaster: Fish Zipper Pouch

Beautiful, Juice, and Lol: mistress-flamecaller: tinymothman plague-sprite This is the single greatest thing I've ever impulse bought. My previous pencil pouch was a realistic juice box but the shock factor on THIS THING IS BETTER. Wait until I pull this out in class i have a mighty need. This is beautiful Photos Source: plague-sprite lol-coaster: Fish Zipper Pouch

lol-coaster: Fish Zipper Pouch

Memes, Vegan, and Sushi: I have a great vegan sushi recipe if anyone is interested Im going vegan 😂

Im going vegan 😂

Bad, Memes, and Edgy: HOW OLD ARE YOU? 25 OK pg13 memes are boring i wanna post edgy memes so bad but my posts always get reported because i have a small group of bitchass followers that actually report memes and then my account gets disabled

pg13 memes are boring i wanna post edgy memes so bad but my posts always get reported because i have a small group of bitchass followers tha...

College, Life, and Wow: Nik @AmoNickk 4pm: wow i have so much work 5pm: *naps* 7pm: *wakes up* 7-11pm: finds any way to procrastinate* 11pm: "the amount of work college gives me is ridiculous and so unreasonable they have no idea how hard it is to get everything done in such a short time i have a LIFE you know" This is me 😂

This is me 😂

Food, Memes, and Vegan: I have a great vegan sushi recipe if anyone is interested 45 Delightful Memes That Will Make You Bust A Gut #WTF #Sushi #Food

45 Delightful Memes That Will Make You Bust A Gut #WTF #Sushi #Food

Books, Memes, and Comics: HMMM I HAVE A FEW UNREAD BOOKS BUT ONE MORE CAN'T HURT! FRESA FIGTIOR MEPEOPLECOMİCS UZZFEED - I may have a problem. PSA from @mepeople_comics . . . bibliophile bookstore read webcomic mepeople

I may have a problem. PSA from @mepeople_comics . . . bibliophile bookstore read webcomic mepeople

Cute, Food, and Friends: Anonymous 07/10/18(Tue)18:03:10 No.46706369 Best mom ever be me >be 21 yr old and depressed hav mom comes >sees I'm unhappy and buys me a gift mfw its a dog e no friends and no gf 20 KB JPG gives me food for the dog healthy doggo is cute >people see dog >pet dog dog makes me new friends thanks to dog I have a lot of friends no gf but still happy thank mr.doggo thanks mom for being the best mom and blessing me with a dog >happiness and love

Funny, Lol, and Vegan: I have a great vegan sushi recipe if anyone is interested Lol tag a vegan

Lol tag a vegan

Memes, Vegan, and Sushi: Mike Sugar's Lasik Eye Surgery Sun... V @treymeyersx I have a great vegan sushi recipe if anyone is interested Spicy mayo y-n (tag a vegan)

Spicy mayo y-n (tag a vegan)

Money, Savage, and Girlfriend: NgwananaWaMosotho @_boitumelodeeu Do guys ever say "no I have a girlfriend?" Uncle Ari @MazeDaMouth If someone offers you money, do you say "No, I have a salary"? Savage! 😂 https://t.co/8X2obDWUpe

Savage! 😂 https://t.co/8X2obDWUpe

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