🔥 | Latest

impressed: My cat was not impressed when a fox came by.
impressed: My cat was not impressed when a fox came by.

My cat was not impressed when a fox came by.

impressed: My cat was not impressed when a fox came by.
impressed: My cat was not impressed when a fox came by.

My cat was not impressed when a fox came by.

impressed: My cat was not impressed when a fox came by.
impressed: My cat was not impressed when a fox came by.

My cat was not impressed when a fox came by.

impressed: My teacher said he was impressed by my github activity…
impressed: My teacher said he was impressed by my github activity…

My teacher said he was impressed by my github activity…

impressed: phantomemes: sentences from the youtube series  ,  buzzfeed unsolved .  primarily taken from season 5′s supernatural investigations . “ it doesn’t matter because you’re dead ” “ it’s not impressive  ,  no one’s impressed ” “ the spot of your death is now a lovely gift shop ” “ as god as my witness  ,  he snapped him in half ” “ i seriously want you to throw something right at my face ” “ you can live in the cave ” “ i’m a big fan of your name ” “ the fact that you steal  ,  that’s really funny to me ” “ that’s the greatest thing to steal  :  a man’s joy ” “ because i’m a masochist ” “ i’m going to regret this ” “ i’ve lost the ability to feel ” “ they’re gonna fucking murder you ” “ the way you shushed me was quite rude ” “ cowards  ,  all of you ” “ i’m strange and off putting ” “ i should not feel confident in the face of any man ” “ here you are  ,  smiling in the face of the devil ” “ i hate bats ” “ bats sometimes carry rabies and that’s a thing i’m afraid of ” “ not today devil birds  ,  not today ” “ i think i’m blacking out right now ” “ i don’t think i’m going to remember this moment ” “ i think i’m gonna cry ” “ i keep forgetting there’s ghosts in here ” “ if you know me and my debilitating fear of bears  ,  this is my worst nightmare ” “ i’m standing on an altar alone ” “ maybe you’ll wake up in the middle of the night and eat your cat ” “ i’m so glad that’s over let’s go eat taco bell ” “ were you making horse noises ? ” “ in case any of you needed a reminder this place is a twisting nightmare ” “ there’s a good chance i’m gonna fart in here ” “ well this is horrifying ” “ let’s do each other a favor and not show ourselves to each other ” “ if you could do me a big solid and not do anything that would be sublime ” “ this is just as horrifying as i thought it would be ” “ you talk to hide from the silence ” “ do i look like the kind of man who could give advice ? ” “ several bad choices have lead me to this moment ” “ let’s play look at the ceiling tiles !  1 , 2 , 3 , 4 … ” “ i just wanna know if you think they have belly buttons ” “ i did meet some of the most insufferable people but they also met me ” “ if it sounds like a duck and walks like a duck ”
impressed: phantomemes:
sentences from the youtube series  ,  buzzfeed unsolved .  primarily taken from season 5′s supernatural investigations .
“ it doesn’t matter because you’re dead ”
“ it’s not impressive  ,  no one’s impressed ”
“ the spot of your death is now a lovely gift shop ”
“ as god as my witness  ,  he snapped him in half ”
“ i seriously want you to throw something right at my face ”
“ you can live in the cave ”
“ i’m a big fan of your name ”
“ the fact that you steal  ,  that’s really funny to me ”
“ that’s the greatest thing to steal  :  a man’s joy ”
“ because i’m a masochist ”
“ i’m going to regret this ”
“ i’ve lost the ability to feel ”
“ they’re gonna fucking murder you ”
“ the way you shushed me was quite rude ”
“ cowards  ,  all of you ”
“ i’m strange and off putting ”
“ i should not feel confident in the face of any man ”
“ here you are  ,  smiling in the face of the devil ”
“ i hate bats ”
“ bats sometimes carry rabies and that’s a thing i’m afraid of ”
“ not today devil birds  ,  not today ”
“ i think i’m blacking out right now ”
“ i don’t think i’m going to remember this moment ”
“ i think i’m gonna cry ”
“ i keep forgetting there’s ghosts in here ”
“ if you know me and my debilitating fear of bears  ,  this is my worst nightmare ”
“ i’m standing on an altar alone ”
“ maybe you’ll wake up in the middle of the night and eat your cat ”
“ i’m so glad that’s over let’s go eat taco bell ”
“ were you making horse noises ? ”
“ in case any of you needed a reminder this place is a twisting nightmare ”
“ there’s a good chance i’m gonna fart in here ”
“ well this is horrifying ”
“ let’s do each other a favor and not show ourselves to each other ”
“ if you could do me a big solid and not do anything that would be sublime ”
“ this is just as horrifying as i thought it would be ”
“ you talk to hide from the silence ”
“ do i look like the kind of man who could give advice ? ”
“ several bad choices have lead me to this moment ”
“ let’s play look at the ceiling tiles !  1 , 2 , 3 , 4 … ”
“ i just wanna know if you think they have belly buttons ”
“ i did meet some of the most insufferable people but they also met me ”
“ if it sounds like a duck and walks like a duck ”

phantomemes: sentences from the youtube series  ,  buzzfeed unsolved .  primarily taken from season 5′s supernatural investigations . “ i...

impressed: My dad apparently sneaks his remote into a local bar so he can change the channel when he doesn’t like what’s on. I’m equally embarrassed and impressed.
impressed: My dad apparently sneaks his remote into a local bar so he can change the channel when he doesn’t like what’s on. I’m equally embarrassed and impressed.

My dad apparently sneaks his remote into a local bar so he can change the channel when he doesn’t like what’s on. I’m equally embarrassed...

impressed: animalrates:Meet Lily and Luna. Lily does not look impressed at all. “Who hurt my baby” 13/10 for both 
impressed: animalrates:Meet Lily and Luna. Lily does not look impressed at all. “Who hurt my baby” 13/10 for both 

animalrates:Meet Lily and Luna. Lily does not look impressed at all. “Who hurt my baby” 13/10 for both 

impressed: Impressed… by Mikewelland182 MORE MEMES
impressed: Impressed… by Mikewelland182
MORE MEMES

Impressed… by Mikewelland182 MORE MEMES

impressed: stellarsteele: Here is a preview of my first book ever! I am planning on releasing the full book very soon. Let me know what you think :))). Prologue            My name is Eva. I had one boyfriend in high school who turned out to be a disappointment. After breaking up with him, he kept sending me creepy messages on social media. I did what any girl would do—I blocked him.            I am anxious for another romantic experience with a different outcome. I thought college would be my chance, but this pandemic swooped in and fucked everything up. My ideal is a cute guy who is sensitive and provides me with unconditional love. I want to have deep conversations with him too. Physical appearance isn’t my greatest asset: I am not ugly, but not gorgeous. Sometimes guys at parties tell me that I’m charming and a good listener though. I would much rather be kissed than told these things, but I’ve learned to work with what I have. I must admit, I’m hard on myself. My roommate Emma has a lot of hookups and I always feel below her. She still complains about the absence of dateable guys which makes me feel better about my lack of success. I should mention my parents because I am going to be stuck with them for a while. They are strange as fuck. My dad is a classic nerd and my mother was wild in college. I’m pretty sure that she did cocaine at a party in college once. I honestly couldn’t tell you how they ended up together. I have no idea what to expect from this quarantine. I’m going to try to be productive and stay positive. Maybe, something good will come out of this. I’ve already improved my personal hygiene—it’s hard to stay super hygienic in college. I’ve been eating a lot healthier too since college cafeterias are no longer part of my daily routine. I also have a good excuse for being single. I’m going to take this time to find out more about myself. Maybe a boyfriend isn’t what I need right now. Although, if a cute guy were to enter my life right now, I am not sure I would be able to refuse him. Even if he got me infected… Day 1            My quarantine hasn’t been too bad so far. I started off by cleaning my room: I found a lot of dust under my bed and on my windows that desperately needed attention. My closet was a disaster too. I found a ton of clothes that haven’t fit me since middle school.            After, I went for a run in my neighborhood and discovered that my neighbors were completely disregarding the social distancing protocol. I didn’t heckle them or anything for disobeying the rules, but I was disappointed. You really discover who people really are when the world goes to shit.            I laid on my bed for a while and ended up reading an entire book. I haven’t been committed to a book like that since the Harry Potter books. I was lowkey impressed with myself. After, I fell asleep for a couple hours. I have a feeling that naps are going to be a big part of my daily routine even if I try to resist them.            Next, I checked my school email and discovered that all my classes are moving to a virtual platform called Zoom. I have no idea how virtual chemistry labs are going to work. Hopefully, my professor will save everyone the stress and give us all an A.            I checked my Instagram feed and ended up making a clever post. I got the most likes I have ever gotten which was satisfying. I am going to try to be more regular with my social media posts. Now, I’m sitting at my desk listening to The Weeknd’s new album. I love his angelic voice and atmospheric beats. I’m trying to come up with a list of goals for myself for quarantine: read a book; try to spend more time with my parents; do yoga 3 times per week; post regularly on social media; get laid. This is probably influenced by The Weeknd’s erotic music, but sex does sound nice right now.            It sounds so nice that I grab my dildo out of my drawer and take my pants off. I slide it slowly into my vagina at first and gradually increase the speed. I imagine my ideal guy on top of me, penetrating me and whispering dirty things in my ear. I am getting so wet. It is surprising how responsive I am to this little toy. Using my other hand, I start massaging my clit. Now, I’m forcefully moving the dildo in and out of my pussy. In my mind, my ideal man is caressing my back and clapping my cheeks hard as fuck. I start moaning and eventually I come all over my bed sheets. The initial pleasure from the orgasm quickly wears off. Instead of feeling blissful, I feel ashamed of myself for not finding a man since high school. The loneliness is suffocating. I feel myself sinking into my bed, drowning in my tears slowly. Everyone seems to have found someone except for me.
impressed: stellarsteele:
Here is a preview of my first book ever! I am planning on releasing the full book very soon. Let me know what you think :))).
Prologue
            My name is Eva. I had one boyfriend in high school who turned
out to be a disappointment. After breaking up with him, he kept sending me
creepy messages on social media. I did what any girl would do—I blocked him. 
            I am anxious for another romantic
experience with a different outcome. I thought college would be my chance, but
this pandemic swooped in and fucked everything up.
My ideal is a cute guy who is sensitive and provides me with
unconditional love. I want to have deep conversations with him too. 
Physical appearance isn’t my greatest asset: I am not ugly,
but not gorgeous. Sometimes guys at parties tell me that I’m charming and a
good listener though. I would much rather be kissed than told these things, but
I’ve learned to work with what I have.
I must admit, I’m hard on myself. My roommate Emma has a lot
of hookups and I always feel below her. She still complains about the absence
of dateable guys which makes me feel better about my lack of success. 
I should mention my parents because I am going to be stuck
with them for a while. They are strange as fuck. My dad is a classic nerd and my
mother was wild in college. I’m pretty sure that she did cocaine at a party in
college once. I honestly couldn’t tell you how they ended up together.
I have no idea what to expect from this quarantine. I’m going
to try to be productive and stay positive. Maybe, something good will come out
of this. I’ve already improved my personal hygiene—it’s hard to stay super
hygienic in college. I’ve been eating a lot healthier too since college
cafeterias are no longer part of my daily routine. 
I also have a good excuse for being single. I’m going to take
this time to find out more about myself. Maybe a boyfriend isn’t what I need
right now. 
Although, if a cute guy were to enter my life right now, I am
not sure I would be able to refuse him. Even if he got me infected…
Day 1
            My quarantine hasn’t been too bad so far. I started off by
cleaning my room: I found a lot of dust under my bed and on my windows that
desperately needed attention. My closet was a disaster too. I found a ton of
clothes that haven’t fit me since middle school. 
            After, I went for a run in my
neighborhood and discovered that my neighbors were completely disregarding the social
distancing protocol. I didn’t heckle them or anything for disobeying the rules,
but I was disappointed. You really discover who people really are when the
world goes to shit.
            I laid on my bed for a while and
ended up reading an entire book. I haven’t been committed to a book like that
since the Harry Potter books. I was lowkey impressed with myself. After, I fell
asleep for a couple hours. I have a feeling that naps are going to be a big
part of my daily routine even if I try to resist them. 
            Next, I checked my school email and
discovered that all my classes are moving to a virtual platform called Zoom. I
have no idea how virtual chemistry labs are going to work. Hopefully, my professor
will save everyone the stress and give us all an A.
            I checked my Instagram feed and
ended up making a clever post. I got the most likes I have ever gotten which
was satisfying. I am going to try to be more regular with my social media
posts.
Now, I’m sitting at my desk listening to The Weeknd’s new
album. I love his angelic voice and atmospheric beats. I’m trying to come up
with a list of goals for myself for quarantine: read a book; try to spend more
time with my parents; do yoga 3 times per week; post regularly on social media;
get laid. 
This is probably influenced by The Weeknd’s erotic music, but
sex does sound nice right now. 
            It sounds so nice that I grab
my dildo out of my drawer and take my pants off. I slide it slowly into my
vagina at first and gradually increase the speed. I imagine my ideal guy on top
of me, penetrating me and whispering dirty things in my ear. I am getting so
wet. It is surprising how responsive I am to this little toy. Using my other
hand, I start massaging my clit. Now, I’m forcefully moving the dildo in and
out of my pussy. In my mind, my ideal man is caressing my back and clapping my
cheeks hard as fuck. I start moaning and eventually I come all over my bed
sheets. 
The initial pleasure from the orgasm quickly wears off.
Instead of feeling blissful, I feel ashamed of myself for not finding a man
since high school. The loneliness is suffocating. I feel myself sinking into my
bed, drowning in my tears slowly. Everyone seems to have found someone except
for me.

stellarsteele: Here is a preview of my first book ever! I am planning on releasing the full book very soon. Let me know what you think :)...

impressed: stellarsteele: Here is a preview of my first book ever! I am planning on releasing the full book very soon. Let me know what you think :))). Prologue            My name is Eva. I had one boyfriend in high school who turned out to be a disappointment. After breaking up with him, he kept sending me creepy messages on social media. I did what any girl would do—I blocked him.            I am anxious for another romantic experience with a different outcome. I thought college would be my chance, but this pandemic swooped in and fucked everything up. My ideal is a cute guy who is sensitive and provides me with unconditional love. I want to have deep conversations with him too. Physical appearance isn’t my greatest asset: I am not ugly, but not gorgeous. Sometimes guys at parties tell me that I’m charming and a good listener though. I would much rather be kissed than told these things, but I’ve learned to work with what I have. I must admit, I’m hard on myself. My roommate Emma has a lot of hookups and I always feel below her. She still complains about the absence of dateable guys which makes me feel better about my lack of success. I should mention my parents because I am going to be stuck with them for a while. They are strange as fuck. My dad is a classic nerd and my mother was wild in college. I’m pretty sure that she did cocaine at a party in college once. I honestly couldn’t tell you how they ended up together. I have no idea what to expect from this quarantine. I’m going to try to be productive and stay positive. Maybe, something good will come out of this. I’ve already improved my personal hygiene—it’s hard to stay super hygienic in college. I’ve been eating a lot healthier too since college cafeterias are no longer part of my daily routine. I also have a good excuse for being single. I’m going to take this time to find out more about myself. Maybe a boyfriend isn’t what I need right now. Although, if a cute guy were to enter my life right now, I am not sure I would be able to refuse him. Even if he got me infected… Day 1            My quarantine hasn’t been too bad so far. I started off by cleaning my room: I found a lot of dust under my bed and on my windows that desperately needed attention. My closet was a disaster too. I found a ton of clothes that haven’t fit me since middle school.            After, I went for a run in my neighborhood and discovered that my neighbors were completely disregarding the social distancing protocol. I didn’t heckle them or anything for disobeying the rules, but I was disappointed. You really discover who people really are when the world goes to shit.            I laid on my bed for a while and ended up reading an entire book. I haven’t been committed to a book like that since the Harry Potter books. I was lowkey impressed with myself. After, I fell asleep for a couple hours. I have a feeling that naps are going to be a big part of my daily routine even if I try to resist them.            Next, I checked my school email and discovered that all my classes are moving to a virtual platform called Zoom. I have no idea how virtual chemistry labs are going to work. Hopefully, my professor will save everyone the stress and give us all an A.            I checked my Instagram feed and ended up making a clever post. I got the most likes I have ever gotten which was satisfying. I am going to try to be more regular with my social media posts. Now, I’m sitting at my desk listening to The Weeknd’s new album. I love his angelic voice and atmospheric beats. I’m trying to come up with a list of goals for myself for quarantine: read a book; try to spend more time with my parents; do yoga 3 times per week; post regularly on social media; get laid. This is probably influenced by The Weeknd’s erotic music, but sex does sound nice right now.            It sounds so nice that I grab my dildo out of my drawer and take my pants off. I slide it slowly into my vagina at first and gradually increase the speed. I imagine my ideal guy on top of me, penetrating me and whispering dirty things in my ear. I am getting so wet. It is surprising how responsive I am to this little toy. Using my other hand, I start massaging my clit. Now, I’m forcefully moving the dildo in and out of my pussy. In my mind, my ideal man is caressing my back and clapping my cheeks hard as fuck. I start moaning and eventually I come all over my bed sheets. The initial pleasure from the orgasm quickly wears off. Instead of feeling blissful, I feel ashamed of myself for not finding a man since high school. The loneliness is suffocating. I feel myself sinking into my bed, drowning in my tears slowly. Everyone seems to have found someone except for me.
impressed: stellarsteele:
Here is a preview of my first book ever! I am planning on releasing the full book very soon. Let me know what you think :))).
Prologue
            My name is Eva. I had one boyfriend in high school who turned
out to be a disappointment. After breaking up with him, he kept sending me
creepy messages on social media. I did what any girl would do—I blocked him. 
            I am anxious for another romantic
experience with a different outcome. I thought college would be my chance, but
this pandemic swooped in and fucked everything up.
My ideal is a cute guy who is sensitive and provides me with
unconditional love. I want to have deep conversations with him too. 
Physical appearance isn’t my greatest asset: I am not ugly,
but not gorgeous. Sometimes guys at parties tell me that I’m charming and a
good listener though. I would much rather be kissed than told these things, but
I’ve learned to work with what I have.
I must admit, I’m hard on myself. My roommate Emma has a lot
of hookups and I always feel below her. She still complains about the absence
of dateable guys which makes me feel better about my lack of success. 
I should mention my parents because I am going to be stuck
with them for a while. They are strange as fuck. My dad is a classic nerd and my
mother was wild in college. I’m pretty sure that she did cocaine at a party in
college once. I honestly couldn’t tell you how they ended up together.
I have no idea what to expect from this quarantine. I’m going
to try to be productive and stay positive. Maybe, something good will come out
of this. I’ve already improved my personal hygiene—it’s hard to stay super
hygienic in college. I’ve been eating a lot healthier too since college
cafeterias are no longer part of my daily routine. 
I also have a good excuse for being single. I’m going to take
this time to find out more about myself. Maybe a boyfriend isn’t what I need
right now. 
Although, if a cute guy were to enter my life right now, I am
not sure I would be able to refuse him. Even if he got me infected…
Day 1
            My quarantine hasn’t been too bad so far. I started off by
cleaning my room: I found a lot of dust under my bed and on my windows that
desperately needed attention. My closet was a disaster too. I found a ton of
clothes that haven’t fit me since middle school. 
            After, I went for a run in my
neighborhood and discovered that my neighbors were completely disregarding the social
distancing protocol. I didn’t heckle them or anything for disobeying the rules,
but I was disappointed. You really discover who people really are when the
world goes to shit.
            I laid on my bed for a while and
ended up reading an entire book. I haven’t been committed to a book like that
since the Harry Potter books. I was lowkey impressed with myself. After, I fell
asleep for a couple hours. I have a feeling that naps are going to be a big
part of my daily routine even if I try to resist them. 
            Next, I checked my school email and
discovered that all my classes are moving to a virtual platform called Zoom. I
have no idea how virtual chemistry labs are going to work. Hopefully, my professor
will save everyone the stress and give us all an A.
            I checked my Instagram feed and
ended up making a clever post. I got the most likes I have ever gotten which
was satisfying. I am going to try to be more regular with my social media
posts.
Now, I’m sitting at my desk listening to The Weeknd’s new
album. I love his angelic voice and atmospheric beats. I’m trying to come up
with a list of goals for myself for quarantine: read a book; try to spend more
time with my parents; do yoga 3 times per week; post regularly on social media;
get laid. 
This is probably influenced by The Weeknd’s erotic music, but
sex does sound nice right now. 
            It sounds so nice that I grab
my dildo out of my drawer and take my pants off. I slide it slowly into my
vagina at first and gradually increase the speed. I imagine my ideal guy on top
of me, penetrating me and whispering dirty things in my ear. I am getting so
wet. It is surprising how responsive I am to this little toy. Using my other
hand, I start massaging my clit. Now, I’m forcefully moving the dildo in and
out of my pussy. In my mind, my ideal man is caressing my back and clapping my
cheeks hard as fuck. I start moaning and eventually I come all over my bed
sheets. 
The initial pleasure from the orgasm quickly wears off.
Instead of feeling blissful, I feel ashamed of myself for not finding a man
since high school. The loneliness is suffocating. I feel myself sinking into my
bed, drowning in my tears slowly. Everyone seems to have found someone except
for me.

stellarsteele: Here is a preview of my first book ever! I am planning on releasing the full book very soon. Let me know what you think :)...

impressed: stellarsteele: Here is a preview of my first book ever! I am planning on releasing the full book very soon. Let me know what you think :))). Prologue            My name is Eva. I had one boyfriend in high school who turned out to be a disappointment. After breaking up with him, he kept sending me creepy messages on social media. I did what any girl would do—I blocked him.            I am anxious for another romantic experience with a different outcome. I thought college would be my chance, but this pandemic swooped in and fucked everything up. My ideal is a cute guy who is sensitive and provides me with unconditional love. I want to have deep conversations with him too. Physical appearance isn’t my greatest asset: I am not ugly, but not gorgeous. Sometimes guys at parties tell me that I’m charming and a good listener though. I would much rather be kissed than told these things, but I’ve learned to work with what I have. I must admit, I’m hard on myself. My roommate Emma has a lot of hookups and I always feel below her. She still complains about the absence of dateable guys which makes me feel better about my lack of success. I should mention my parents because I am going to be stuck with them for a while. They are strange as fuck. My dad is a classic nerd and my mother was wild in college. I’m pretty sure that she did cocaine at a party in college once. I honestly couldn’t tell you how they ended up together. I have no idea what to expect from this quarantine. I’m going to try to be productive and stay positive. Maybe, something good will come out of this. I’ve already improved my personal hygiene—it’s hard to stay super hygienic in college. I’ve been eating a lot healthier too since college cafeterias are no longer part of my daily routine. I also have a good excuse for being single. I’m going to take this time to find out more about myself. Maybe a boyfriend isn’t what I need right now. Although, if a cute guy were to enter my life right now, I am not sure I would be able to refuse him. Even if he got me infected… Day 1            My quarantine hasn’t been too bad so far. I started off by cleaning my room: I found a lot of dust under my bed and on my windows that desperately needed attention. My closet was a disaster too. I found a ton of clothes that haven’t fit me since middle school.            After, I went for a run in my neighborhood and discovered that my neighbors were completely disregarding the social distancing protocol. I didn’t heckle them or anything for disobeying the rules, but I was disappointed. You really discover who people really are when the world goes to shit.            I laid on my bed for a while and ended up reading an entire book. I haven’t been committed to a book like that since the Harry Potter books. I was lowkey impressed with myself. After, I fell asleep for a couple hours. I have a feeling that naps are going to be a big part of my daily routine even if I try to resist them.            Next, I checked my school email and discovered that all my classes are moving to a virtual platform called Zoom. I have no idea how virtual chemistry labs are going to work. Hopefully, my professor will save everyone the stress and give us all an A.            I checked my Instagram feed and ended up making a clever post. I got the most likes I have ever gotten which was satisfying. I am going to try to be more regular with my social media posts. Now, I’m sitting at my desk listening to The Weeknd’s new album. I love his angelic voice and atmospheric beats. I’m trying to come up with a list of goals for myself for quarantine: read a book; try to spend more time with my parents; do yoga 3 times per week; post regularly on social media; get laid. This is probably influenced by The Weeknd’s erotic music, but sex does sound nice right now.            It sounds so nice that I grab my dildo out of my drawer and take my pants off. I slide it slowly into my vagina at first and gradually increase the speed. I imagine my ideal guy on top of me, penetrating me and whispering dirty things in my ear. I am getting so wet. It is surprising how responsive I am to this little toy. Using my other hand, I start massaging my clit. Now, I’m forcefully moving the dildo in and out of my pussy. In my mind, my ideal man is caressing my back and clapping my cheeks hard as fuck. I start moaning and eventually I come all over my bed sheets. The initial pleasure from the orgasm quickly wears off. Instead of feeling blissful, I feel ashamed of myself for not finding a man since high school. The loneliness is suffocating. I feel myself sinking into my bed, drowning in my tears slowly. Everyone seems to have found someone except for me.
impressed: stellarsteele:
Here is a preview of my first book ever! I am planning on releasing the full book very soon. Let me know what you think :))).
Prologue
            My name is Eva. I had one boyfriend in high school who turned
out to be a disappointment. After breaking up with him, he kept sending me
creepy messages on social media. I did what any girl would do—I blocked him. 
            I am anxious for another romantic
experience with a different outcome. I thought college would be my chance, but
this pandemic swooped in and fucked everything up.
My ideal is a cute guy who is sensitive and provides me with
unconditional love. I want to have deep conversations with him too. 
Physical appearance isn’t my greatest asset: I am not ugly,
but not gorgeous. Sometimes guys at parties tell me that I’m charming and a
good listener though. I would much rather be kissed than told these things, but
I’ve learned to work with what I have.
I must admit, I’m hard on myself. My roommate Emma has a lot
of hookups and I always feel below her. She still complains about the absence
of dateable guys which makes me feel better about my lack of success. 
I should mention my parents because I am going to be stuck
with them for a while. They are strange as fuck. My dad is a classic nerd and my
mother was wild in college. I’m pretty sure that she did cocaine at a party in
college once. I honestly couldn’t tell you how they ended up together.
I have no idea what to expect from this quarantine. I’m going
to try to be productive and stay positive. Maybe, something good will come out
of this. I’ve already improved my personal hygiene—it’s hard to stay super
hygienic in college. I’ve been eating a lot healthier too since college
cafeterias are no longer part of my daily routine. 
I also have a good excuse for being single. I’m going to take
this time to find out more about myself. Maybe a boyfriend isn’t what I need
right now. 
Although, if a cute guy were to enter my life right now, I am
not sure I would be able to refuse him. Even if he got me infected…
Day 1
            My quarantine hasn’t been too bad so far. I started off by
cleaning my room: I found a lot of dust under my bed and on my windows that
desperately needed attention. My closet was a disaster too. I found a ton of
clothes that haven’t fit me since middle school. 
            After, I went for a run in my
neighborhood and discovered that my neighbors were completely disregarding the social
distancing protocol. I didn’t heckle them or anything for disobeying the rules,
but I was disappointed. You really discover who people really are when the
world goes to shit.
            I laid on my bed for a while and
ended up reading an entire book. I haven’t been committed to a book like that
since the Harry Potter books. I was lowkey impressed with myself. After, I fell
asleep for a couple hours. I have a feeling that naps are going to be a big
part of my daily routine even if I try to resist them. 
            Next, I checked my school email and
discovered that all my classes are moving to a virtual platform called Zoom. I
have no idea how virtual chemistry labs are going to work. Hopefully, my professor
will save everyone the stress and give us all an A.
            I checked my Instagram feed and
ended up making a clever post. I got the most likes I have ever gotten which
was satisfying. I am going to try to be more regular with my social media
posts.
Now, I’m sitting at my desk listening to The Weeknd’s new
album. I love his angelic voice and atmospheric beats. I’m trying to come up
with a list of goals for myself for quarantine: read a book; try to spend more
time with my parents; do yoga 3 times per week; post regularly on social media;
get laid. 
This is probably influenced by The Weeknd’s erotic music, but
sex does sound nice right now. 
            It sounds so nice that I grab
my dildo out of my drawer and take my pants off. I slide it slowly into my
vagina at first and gradually increase the speed. I imagine my ideal guy on top
of me, penetrating me and whispering dirty things in my ear. I am getting so
wet. It is surprising how responsive I am to this little toy. Using my other
hand, I start massaging my clit. Now, I’m forcefully moving the dildo in and
out of my pussy. In my mind, my ideal man is caressing my back and clapping my
cheeks hard as fuck. I start moaning and eventually I come all over my bed
sheets. 
The initial pleasure from the orgasm quickly wears off.
Instead of feeling blissful, I feel ashamed of myself for not finding a man
since high school. The loneliness is suffocating. I feel myself sinking into my
bed, drowning in my tears slowly. Everyone seems to have found someone except
for me.

stellarsteele: Here is a preview of my first book ever! I am planning on releasing the full book very soon. Let me know what you think :)...

impressed: I made this meme while my genius brother impressed my whole family with his maths knowledge at a family meeting by Zookja MORE MEMES
impressed: I made this meme while my genius brother impressed my whole family with his maths knowledge at a family meeting by Zookja
MORE MEMES

I made this meme while my genius brother impressed my whole family with his maths knowledge at a family meeting by Zookja MORE MEMES

impressed: I’m just impressed that she said it with her whole chest by TwilightOuterZone MORE MEMES
impressed: I’m just impressed that she said it with her whole chest by TwilightOuterZone
MORE MEMES

I’m just impressed that she said it with her whole chest by TwilightOuterZone MORE MEMES

impressed: Trump wondered why Mount |Vernon isn't named after |George Washington. Here's why. By Gillian Brockell April 10 at 9:37 AM President Trump was not impressed with a tour of the first commander in chiefs home last year, Politico reported Wednesday, describing his visit to Mount Vernon with French President Emmanuel Macron and their wives as "truly bizarre." "If he was smart, he would've put his name on it," Trump reportedly said. "You've got to put your name on stuff or no one remembers you." On the subject of whether anyone remembers George Washington, The Washington Post, which is based in the capital city of Washington (not Washington state) near George Washington University, would refer readers to the fact that Washington has come in first or second in nearly every "best presidents" poll conducted, including the most recent one, in 2018, by Siena College Research Institute. Trump, in case you're wondering, came in 42nd out of 45 commanders in chief. marloweseyeball: squided: amanda-fior: randomslasher: bethanyactually: *googles ‘how to nominate reporter for Peabody Award’* x I literally just got dehydrated from all the salt in that one paragraph I want to know who the 3 presidents are that are ranked lower than Trump 1. Nixon (asshole) 2. Reagan (super asshole) 3. Zachary Taylor (died after one and a half years of presidency like a bitch) Trump is ranked lower than William Henry Harrison, who died after just 31 days in office. He ranked lower than a man whose presidential legacy is that his inauguration speech was so damn long he gave himself pneumonia because of it and…died. I mean, damn.
impressed: Trump wondered why Mount
 |Vernon isn't named after
 |George Washington. Here's
 why.

 By Gillian Brockell
 April 10 at 9:37 AM
 President Trump was not impressed with a tour of the first
 commander in chiefs home last year, Politico reported
 Wednesday, describing his visit to Mount Vernon with French
 President Emmanuel Macron and their wives as "truly bizarre."
 "If he was smart, he would've put his name on it," Trump
 reportedly said. "You've got to put your name on stuff or no one
 remembers you."
 On the subject of whether anyone remembers George
 Washington, The Washington Post, which is based in the capital
 city of Washington (not Washington state) near George
 Washington University, would refer readers to the fact that
 Washington has come in first or second in nearly every "best
 presidents" poll conducted, including the most recent one, in
 2018, by Siena College Research Institute. Trump, in case you're
 wondering, came in 42nd out of 45 commanders in chief.
marloweseyeball:

squided:

amanda-fior:

randomslasher:

bethanyactually:
*googles ‘how to nominate reporter for Peabody Award’* x
I literally just got dehydrated from all the salt in that one paragraph


I want to know who the 3 presidents are that are ranked lower than Trump


1.  Nixon (asshole)
2.  Reagan (super asshole)
3.  Zachary Taylor (died after one and a half years of presidency like a bitch)


Trump is ranked lower than William Henry Harrison, who died after just 31 days in office. He ranked lower than a man whose presidential legacy is that his inauguration speech was so damn long he gave himself pneumonia because of it and…died.
I mean, damn.

marloweseyeball: squided: amanda-fior: randomslasher: bethanyactually: *googles ‘how to nominate reporter for Peabody Award’* x I lit...

impressed: So, I know it's a standard Tinder question but I have to ask-are you a serial killer, and if so do you have reason for it? Only a serial killer would ask if serial killer. was Wednesday 8:28 PM Naw, I wouldn't be able to handle the hours. Unless you were looking for a colleague serial killer to bond with... I was going to say the latter but Wednesday 9:13 PM Hypotheticals it is then. If I you were a serial killer, what would be your M.O.? That you are a man. I'd want to be a siren. Ooooh, I like it, somehow you made that not creepy. I am impressed. Do Sirens work on lesbians as well? Aw damn. I have failed. Ummm, no. Idk. Maybe? Wednesday 9:44 PM This sounds like a slightly problematic writting prompt in a freshman creative writting class. You can still kill me if you want, especially the straight white kind. They are pretty underrepresented in the serial killer victim market That is the sweetest thing a complete stranger has ever said to me Ya, just put some sad music in your playlist...or set... or whatever sirens do. Haaa okay So on a scale of 1-5 how would you rate my creepiness? Wednesday 10:33 PM Either O or 10. I cant read non-verbal in text conversations. On a scale of 1-5. I am 98% enjoying the banter, but 1.5% of me is irrationally scared that I just invited you to murder me Wednesday 11:04 PM Do you think this conversation would hold up in court? No, but hopefully it will hold up on reddit Lol... Let me know what sub you decide to post this on I'm pretty sure if it gets enough Karma, it becomes a legal document and will hold up in court. Fingers crossed Type a message... GIF In the untimely event of my death…start here
impressed: So, I know it's a standard Tinder
 question but I have to ask-are
 you a serial killer, and if so do
 you have reason for it?
 Only a serial killer would ask if
 serial killer.
 was
 Wednesday 8:28 PM
 Naw, I wouldn't be able to
 handle the hours.
 Unless you were looking for a
 colleague serial killer to bond
 with...
 I was going to say the latter but
 Wednesday 9:13 PM
 Hypotheticals it is then. If I you
 were a serial killer, what would
 be your M.O.?
 That you are a man. I'd want to
 be a siren.
 Ooooh, I like it, somehow you
 made that not creepy. I am
 impressed.
 Do Sirens work on lesbians as
 well?
 Aw damn. I have failed.
 Ummm, no.
 Idk.
 Maybe?
 Wednesday 9:44 PM
 This sounds like a slightly
 problematic writting prompt in a
 freshman creative writting class.
 You can still kill me if you
 want, especially the straight
 white kind. They are pretty
 underrepresented in the serial
 killer victim market
 That is the sweetest thing a
 complete stranger has ever
 said to me
 Ya, just put some sad music
 in your playlist...or set... or
 whatever sirens do.
 Haaa okay
 So on a scale of 1-5 how would
 you rate my creepiness?
 Wednesday 10:33 PM
 Either O or 10. I cant read
 non-verbal in text conversations.
 On a scale of 1-5.
 I am 98% enjoying the banter,
 but 1.5% of me is irrationally
 scared that I just invited you to
 murder me
 Wednesday 11:04 PM
 Do you think this conversation
 would hold up in court?
 No, but hopefully it will hold up
 on reddit
 Lol... Let me know what sub
 you decide to post this on
 I'm pretty sure if it gets enough
 Karma, it becomes a legal
 document and will hold up in
 court.
 Fingers crossed
 Type a message...
 GIF
In the untimely event of my death…start here

In the untimely event of my death…start here