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Ass, College, and Confused: let-the-phoenix-fly: malfkoys my cat has been fucking playing me for weeks, playing me like a fucking harp. I feed my cat twice a day with prescribed diet food because she's really fat and doesn't know when she's full so she never stops eating usually when I come home from class she is all over me like the whore of babylon all over me putting on a pity party and trying to get me to sin and give her more food but no matter what I only feed her the amount of food for her prescribed diet, but after awhile i started noticing that she wasn't loosing weight at all and was actually just getting fatter, so I called the vet pissed and i'm just like the fuck she's still getting fat. so I switched her to another diet food and that still didn't work and I was so confused and frustrated like what is wrong with this cat? so a couple weeks go by and I start noticing that I go through bags of food really fast like a week fast and I remembered how I thought that was so weird like l God honest could not figure out why the food disappeared so fast (my former naive and innocernt mind) well y'all ready here's the fucking climax-the other day my class was canceled and I come downstairs at like noonish and do you know what I see when I get down? I see my fucking cat sitting in the food bin. with my own two eyes I see her sitting in the fucking food bin. my spoiled ass cat has been eating like a fucking queen and living it the fuck up while I'm in class and then pretends like she's hungry when i get home. and you know what's the real kicker? when she leaves the lid gets knocked shut which is why i never caught onto her scam. she's fucking been working the system and playing the food game right under my fucking nose like i want to scream and now I have to call the vet and the morning and explain to him how, a well educated adult in college. got one-upped in intelligence by my fucking cat Read the whole thing what kind of posts do u want cause my stats been like bye bye
Ass, College, and Confused: let-the-phoenix-fly:
 malfkoys
 my cat has been fucking playing me for weeks, playing me like a fucking
 harp. I feed my cat twice a day with prescribed diet food because she's
 really fat and doesn't know when she's full so she never stops eating
 usually when I come home from class she is all over me like the whore of
 babylon all over me putting on a pity party and trying to get me to sin and
 give her more food but no matter what I only feed her the amount of food
 for her prescribed diet, but after awhile i started noticing that she wasn't
 loosing weight at all and was actually just getting fatter, so I called the vet
 pissed and i'm just like the fuck she's still getting fat. so I switched her to
 another diet food and that still didn't work and I was so confused and
 frustrated like what is wrong with this cat? so a couple weeks go by and I
 start noticing that I go through bags of food really fast like a week fast and
 I remembered how I thought that was so weird like l God honest could not
 figure out why the food disappeared so fast (my former naive and innocernt
 mind) well y'all ready here's the fucking climax-the other day my class
 was canceled and I come downstairs at like noonish and do you know
 what I see when I get down? I see my fucking cat sitting in the food bin.
 with my own two eyes I see her sitting in the fucking food bin. my spoiled
 ass cat has been eating like a fucking queen and living it the fuck up while
 I'm in class and then pretends like she's hungry when i get home. and you
 know what's the real kicker? when she leaves the lid gets knocked shut
 which is why i never caught onto her scam. she's fucking been working
 the system and playing the food game right under my fucking nose like i
 want to scream and now I have to call the vet and the morning and explain
 to him how, a well educated adult in college. got one-upped in
 intelligence by my fucking cat
 Read the whole thing
what kind of posts do u want cause my stats been like bye bye

what kind of posts do u want cause my stats been like bye bye

Bad, Bitch, and Chihuahua: Highlights Always willing to make a rain Laughs at medioore jokers . I play s different instrument . Turned my recorder into a fully functional obacco po Very optimistic when hungover Friendship bracelets Can drive a stick shift I got bars Iget along with overy dog rve met and at a 73% oftro people rve moc. * Downsides Will be late nearly every day with iterally no excuse Will spook the customers with I have ADHD, but don't worry, I buy other peoples adderall Allergic to mushrooms (still willing to trip them) .I have been the cause of 13 car accidents (that I know ofy . Kind of bad at doing accents, usually just comes off as disrespecttuil Contributions Inventor Sauce Boss . A safe space and secure area for your sauces in the car. For a spill and worry free drive home . Part the Red Sea .The thick, untamed, poofy, distressed mane usually accompanied by a Mo Moses Tampons Coined the phrase "jean skirt hair mon in a floor length jean skirt Coined the term *Escobars When someone snorts a mix of cocaine and Xanax .Not recommended Education Bradford Elementary School Made it to round 1 of the 6th grade spelling bee Mullen High School 2008-2012 . Graduated 1st place in worst attendance in class of 2012 . Dia though Had an impact on the student handbook because I rode a donkey to schook of Northem Colorado 2012-201 Survived Greeley Majored in like 7 different things so I'm well rounded University of the Virgin Isiands 2015-2017 Majored in Political Science and English- Creative Whiting School blew away in Hurricane Irma School cut major Jobs I Didnt Quit In Less Than 3 Weeks Or Get Fired From Colorado Saddlery 2012-Present I make everyone feel good about themselves in the company because I ne ver know what's going on there They don't pay me anymore but I still show up from time to time . Laboniously diverse in that bitch . I programmed their Alexa to play the world's national anthems at noon ever y day - They pretty much can't fire me thered e Intenship in Haiti 2016 Partially fluent in Haitian Creole, which I speak in when dicey fools speak to me at the bar and I want them to leave 4ever Spent about a year total in Hait I had Zika, so don't worry, I won't be having children any time soono Harley Davidson-St. Thomas . I folded shits, talked to drunk people, then I sold said shits to said drunk p eople I'm very impressive at folding shirts Reason(s) I Dipped: I wanted to get off the islandl over Christmas I kept accidentally throwing piles of clothes onto the owner's chihuahua a d I felt really guilty about ito They said I quit better than any other employee they've had, that was co sort of Local Color Clothing Boutique More folding, but the clothes were more expensive) Some girl just dropped this resume off at my work
Bad, Bitch, and Chihuahua: Highlights
 Always willing to make a rain
 Laughs at medioore jokers
 . I play s different instrument
 . Turned my recorder into a fully functional obacco po
 Very optimistic when hungover
 Friendship bracelets
 Can drive a stick shift
 I got bars
 Iget along with overy dog rve met and at a 73% oftro people rve moc.
 *
 Downsides
 Will be late nearly every day with iterally no excuse
 Will spook the customers with
 I have ADHD, but don't worry, I buy other peoples adderall
 Allergic to mushrooms (still willing to trip them)
 .I have been the cause of 13 car accidents (that I know ofy
 . Kind of bad at doing accents, usually just comes off as disrespecttuil
 Contributions
 Inventor
 Sauce Boss
 . A safe space and secure area for your sauces in the car.
 For a spill and worry free drive home
 . Part the Red Sea
 .The thick, untamed, poofy, distressed mane usually accompanied by a Mo
 Moses Tampons
 Coined the phrase "jean skirt hair
 mon in a floor length jean skirt
 Coined the term *Escobars
 When someone snorts a mix of cocaine and Xanax
 .Not recommended
 Education
 Bradford Elementary School
 Made it to round 1 of the 6th grade spelling bee
 Mullen High School 2008-2012
 .
 Graduated 1st place in worst attendance in class of 2012
 .

 Dia
 though
 Had an impact on the student handbook because I rode a donkey to schook
 of Northem Colorado 2012-201
 Survived Greeley
 Majored in like 7 different things so I'm well rounded
 University of the Virgin Isiands 2015-2017
 Majored in Political Science and English- Creative Whiting
 School blew away in Hurricane Irma
 School cut major
 Jobs I Didnt Quit In Less Than 3 Weeks Or Get Fired From
 Colorado Saddlery 2012-Present
 I make everyone feel good about themselves in the company because I ne
 ver know what's going on there
 They don't pay me anymore but I still show up from time to time
 . Laboniously diverse in that bitch
 . I programmed their Alexa to play the world's national anthems at noon ever
 y day
 - They pretty much can't fire me thered
 e Intenship in Haiti 2016
 Partially fluent in Haitian Creole, which I speak in when dicey fools speak to
 me at the bar and I want them to leave 4ever
 Spent about a year total in Hait
 I had Zika, so don't worry, I won't be having children any time soono
 Harley Davidson-St. Thomas
 . I folded shits, talked to drunk people, then I sold said shits to said drunk p
 eople
 I'm very impressive at folding shirts
 Reason(s) I Dipped:
 I wanted to get off the islandl over Christmas
 I kept accidentally throwing piles of clothes onto the owner's chihuahua a
 d I felt really guilty about ito
 They said I quit better than any other employee they've had, that was co
 sort of
 Local Color Clothing Boutique
 More folding, but the clothes were more expensive)
Some girl just dropped this resume off at my work

Some girl just dropped this resume off at my work

Fire, Gif, and Jerry Seinfeld: <p><a href="http://return-of-the-trinidude.tumblr.com/post/176448492051/antifeminism-proegalitarian-thecybersmith" class="tumblr_blog">return-of-the-trinidude</a>:</p> <blockquote><p><a href="https://antifeminism-proegalitarian.tumblr.com/post/176209431259/thecybersmith-im-jerry-seinfeld" class="tumblr_blog">antifeminism-proegalitarian</a>:</p><blockquote> <p><a href="http://thecybersmith.tumblr.com/post/176208447767/im-jerry-seinfeld-thecybersmith" class="tumblr_blog">thecybersmith</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a href="http://im-jerry-seinfeld.tumblr.com/post/176208008077/thecybersmith-anatomicdeadspace-toronto" class="tumblr_blog">im-jerry-seinfeld</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a href="http://thecybersmith.tumblr.com/post/176202331982/anatomicdeadspace-toronto-shooting-gunman-kills" class="tumblr_blog">thecybersmith</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a href="http://anatomicdeadspace.tumblr.com/post/176201484543/toronto-shooting-gunman-kills-woman-and-child-in" class="tumblr_blog">anatomicdeadspace</a>:</p> <blockquote> <h2><b><a href="https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-us-canada-44919771">Toronto shooting: Gunman kills woman and child in Greektown</a></b></h2> <p>A 10-year-old girl and an 18-year-old woman have died after a gunman opened fire on a busy avenue in Canada’s largest city, police say.</p> <p>Thirteen other people, ranging in age between 10 and 59, were injured in the attack in the Greektown district of Toronto, police chief Mark Saunders told reporters.</p> <p>The suspect, 29, had an exchange of gunfire with police officers before being found dead nearby. The motive for the shooting is unknown. Police have not identified the suspect, who was from Toronto, and it is unclear if he was killed by police gunfire or took his own life.</p> <p>The attack happened on Sunday evening. In a video clip shared by Canadian media, a white man wearing a dark cap and dark clothing and carrying a shoulder bag can be seen stopping on a pavement and pulling out a handgun before firing shots.</p> <p>Prime Minister Justin Trudeau sent his sympathies to the victims and the city in a tweet, while Toronto Mayor John Tory condemned the “despicable” attack on “people innocently enjoying a Sunday evening”.</p> </blockquote> <p>F</p> <p>I hope the injured victims recover swiftly.</p> <p>Also, this is yet more evidence that gun control won’t work.</p> </blockquote> <p>DID THIS MAN REALLY SAY “F” HOLY SHIT WE GOTTA KILL EM ALL. EVERY ANGLO. NUKE IT FROM ORBIT. IT’S THE ONLY WAY TO BE SURE.</p> </blockquote> <p><b>Me:</b> pays respect to the victims of violence.</p> <p><b>You:</b> calls for the genocide of my entire ethnic group.</p> <p>WTF?</p> </blockquote> <p>This whole post threw me for a loop</p> </blockquote> <figure class="tmblr-full" data-orig-height="226" data-orig-width="400" data-tumblr-attribution="lexarakoon:xI0tcvbDKlD_Lj7hHAVFRg:ZJeWhm22YrHnz"><img src="https://78.media.tumblr.com/a095298a115d6d07289d43328c03e940/tumblr_o39x2fzeQc1tk48vko1_400.gif" data-orig-height="226" data-orig-width="400"/></figure></blockquote> <p>I’m at a loss.</p>
Fire, Gif, and Jerry Seinfeld: <p><a href="http://return-of-the-trinidude.tumblr.com/post/176448492051/antifeminism-proegalitarian-thecybersmith" class="tumblr_blog">return-of-the-trinidude</a>:</p>

<blockquote><p><a href="https://antifeminism-proegalitarian.tumblr.com/post/176209431259/thecybersmith-im-jerry-seinfeld" class="tumblr_blog">antifeminism-proegalitarian</a>:</p><blockquote>
<p><a href="http://thecybersmith.tumblr.com/post/176208447767/im-jerry-seinfeld-thecybersmith" class="tumblr_blog">thecybersmith</a>:</p>
<blockquote>
<p><a href="http://im-jerry-seinfeld.tumblr.com/post/176208008077/thecybersmith-anatomicdeadspace-toronto" class="tumblr_blog">im-jerry-seinfeld</a>:</p>

<blockquote>
<p><a href="http://thecybersmith.tumblr.com/post/176202331982/anatomicdeadspace-toronto-shooting-gunman-kills" class="tumblr_blog">thecybersmith</a>:</p>

<blockquote>
<p><a href="http://anatomicdeadspace.tumblr.com/post/176201484543/toronto-shooting-gunman-kills-woman-and-child-in" class="tumblr_blog">anatomicdeadspace</a>:</p>
<blockquote>
<h2><b><a href="https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-us-canada-44919771">Toronto shooting: Gunman kills woman and child in Greektown</a></b></h2>
<p>A 10-year-old girl and an 18-year-old woman have died after a gunman opened fire on a busy avenue in Canada’s largest city, police say.</p>
<p>Thirteen other people, ranging in age between 10 and 59, were injured in the attack in the Greektown district of Toronto, police chief Mark Saunders told reporters.</p>
<p>The suspect, 29, had an exchange of gunfire with police officers before being found dead nearby. The motive for the shooting is unknown. Police have not identified the suspect, who was from Toronto, and it is unclear if he was killed by police gunfire or took his own life.</p>
<p>The attack happened on Sunday evening. In a video clip shared by Canadian media, a white man wearing a dark cap and dark clothing and carrying a shoulder bag can be seen stopping on a pavement and pulling out a handgun before firing shots.</p>
<p>Prime Minister Justin Trudeau sent his sympathies to the victims and the city in a tweet, while Toronto Mayor John Tory condemned the “despicable” attack on “people innocently enjoying a Sunday evening”.</p>
</blockquote>
<p>F</p>
<p>I hope the injured victims recover swiftly.</p>
<p>Also, this is yet more evidence that gun control won’t work.</p>
</blockquote>

<p>DID THIS MAN REALLY SAY “F” HOLY SHIT WE GOTTA KILL EM ALL. EVERY ANGLO. NUKE IT FROM ORBIT. IT’S THE ONLY WAY TO BE SURE.</p>
</blockquote>

<p><b>Me:</b> pays respect to the victims of violence.</p>
<p><b>You:</b> calls for the genocide of my entire ethnic group.</p>
<p>WTF?</p>
</blockquote>

<p>This whole post threw me for a loop</p>
</blockquote>
<figure class="tmblr-full" data-orig-height="226" data-orig-width="400" data-tumblr-attribution="lexarakoon:xI0tcvbDKlD_Lj7hHAVFRg:ZJeWhm22YrHnz"><img src="https://78.media.tumblr.com/a095298a115d6d07289d43328c03e940/tumblr_o39x2fzeQc1tk48vko1_400.gif" data-orig-height="226" data-orig-width="400"/></figure></blockquote>

<p>I’m at a loss.</p>

<p><a href="http://return-of-the-trinidude.tumblr.com/post/176448492051/antifeminism-proegalitarian-thecybersmith" class="tumblr_blog">retur...