invited


                    
                    
                

                

                

            

        
    







            

            
            

                

                    
                

                

                    

                        


	

	
    

        🔥 | Latest
    

    
    

        

        
        

            




    Friends, Head, and Movies: If a class was filled with every programming language, who
 would each programming language be?
 Assembly: He's the nerd. He speaks very quickly and uses
 short sentences. Very few people talk to him. He's considered
 to be an autist asperger by a majority of the class because he
 finishes the exams so quickly it's insane and he faces a lot of
 difficulties in speaking with others. He's at school but already
 dressed like an engineer
 Ada: She's a foureyes nerd. When she gets the answer shes
 doesn't make any mistake. Ada often corrects the teacher
 when she writes a line a little ambiguous. She's building a
 rocketship in her backyard and she's always speaking about
 this weird hobby
 Python: He's Mr Popular. He likes skate, brags about all the
 parties he's invited to. He's good in all the subjects taught in
 class but he'll do them a bit slower than the others. Everyone
 loves him because he explains things so well, sometimes the
 teacher herself asks Python to explain some part of the
 course. He's dressed with a hoodie, a baggy and glasses on
 the top of the head
 Java: She is one of the toppers of the class and very popular
 She's very good in all the topics. The teacher loves her but
 she's a very talkative person.
 Scala/Kotlin: They are twin sisters and the best friends of
 Java. Unfortunately, they are not as popular and it's often
 Java who takes the lead in the group. It's very difficult to
 distinguish one from another. Both are far less talkative than
 Java but Scala speaks a bit differently than Kotlin and Java
 C: He's the topper of the class. He's so fast in completing the
 exams that the teacher really thinks he's copying Assembly's
 work. He has a little brother C++ and they share a lot in
 common together. He's the chess major and often plays
 chess with Assembly and his big brother
 Go: He's the new kid on the bloc. He doesn't like C++ and his
 friends and he wants to prove he can do better than them. Of
 course, he prefers playing Go over Chess
 APL: He's a lonely guy. No one understands him when he
 speaks. Even the teacher is surprised when APL shows a
 correct answer after several lines of incomprehensible
 pictograms. People think that he was born in a foreign
 country... or a foreign planet?
 HTML/CSS: These twin brothers are very different. One is
 dressed in black and white and the other is dressed with
 everything except black and white. HTML is very talkative and
 annoying and the CSS is very artistic. CSS is the best student
 in Art lessons and HTML performs well in written expression.
 LaTeX: She's friend of HTML. The teacher likes her because
 she has a gift of writing. LaTeX likes the mathematical
 courses because she can draw fancy greek letters. The
 teacher knows this well and she is often asked to write a
 formula on the black board
 VBA: He's in the back, looking through the windows. Not
 really interested in the courses taught in class. In the exams
 he answers always with a table
 C#: He's in the back playing yet another game on his
 smartphone. He likes being next to the windows also
 JavaScript: People often mix up Java and JavaScript
 because they have a similar name. But they are definitly not
 the same. Javascript spends a lot of time with HTML and
 CSS. He's as artistic as CSS but he prefers things that move
 He likes actions and movies. CSS dreams to be a painter
 wheras JavaScript wants to be a film-maker
 Haskell: He's a goth. Dressed up in dark. Doesn't talk to
 anyone. He doesn't understand why others write pages when
 he can write a couple of lines to answer the same question
 Julia: She's the newest student here. She doesn't have any
 friends yet but her secret aim is to be as popular as Python
 and as fast as C
If Programming Language were students. Found on Quora
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                Friends, Head, and Movies: If a class was filled with every programming language, who
 would each programming language be?
 Assembly: He's the nerd. He speaks very quickly and uses
 short sentences. Very few people talk to him. He's considered
 to be an autist asperger by a majority of the class because he
 finishes the exams so quickly it's insane and he faces a lot of
 difficulties in speaking with others. He's at school but already
 dressed like an engineer
 Ada: She's a foureyes nerd. When she gets the answer shes
 doesn't make any mistake. Ada often corrects the teacher
 when she writes a line a little ambiguous. She's building a
 rocketship in her backyard and she's always speaking about
 this weird hobby
 Python: He's Mr Popular. He likes skate, brags about all the
 parties he's invited to. He's good in all the subjects taught in
 class but he'll do them a bit slower than the others. Everyone
 loves him because he explains things so well, sometimes the
 teacher herself asks Python to explain some part of the
 course. He's dressed with a hoodie, a baggy and glasses on
 the top of the head
 Java: She is one of the toppers of the class and very popular
 She's very good in all the topics. The teacher loves her but
 she's a very talkative person.
 Scala/Kotlin: They are twin sisters and the best friends of
 Java. Unfortunately, they are not as popular and it's often
 Java who takes the lead in the group. It's very difficult to
 distinguish one from another. Both are far less talkative than
 Java but Scala speaks a bit differently than Kotlin and Java
 C: He's the topper of the class. He's so fast in completing the
 exams that the teacher really thinks he's copying Assembly's
 work. He has a little brother C++ and they share a lot in
 common together. He's the chess major and often plays
 chess with Assembly and his big brother
 Go: He's the new kid on the bloc. He doesn't like C++ and his
 friends and he wants to prove he can do better than them. Of
 course, he prefers playing Go over Chess
 APL: He's a lonely guy. No one understands him when he
 speaks. Even the teacher is surprised when APL shows a
 correct answer after several lines of incomprehensible
 pictograms. People think that he was born in a foreign
 country... or a foreign planet?
 HTML/CSS: These twin brothers are very different. One is
 dressed in black and white and the other is dressed with
 everything except black and white. HTML is very talkative and
 annoying and the CSS is very artistic. CSS is the best student
 in Art lessons and HTML performs well in written expression.
 LaTeX: She's friend of HTML. The teacher likes her because
 she has a gift of writing. LaTeX likes the mathematical
 courses because she can draw fancy greek letters. The
 teacher knows this well and she is often asked to write a
 formula on the black board
 VBA: He's in the back, looking through the windows. Not
 really interested in the courses taught in class. In the exams
 he answers always with a table
 C#: He's in the back playing yet another game on his
 smartphone. He likes being next to the windows also
 JavaScript: People often mix up Java and JavaScript
 because they have a similar name. But they are definitly not
 the same. Javascript spends a lot of time with HTML and
 CSS. He's as artistic as CSS but he prefers things that move
 He likes actions and movies. CSS dreams to be a painter
 wheras JavaScript wants to be a film-maker
 Haskell: He's a goth. Dressed up in dark. Doesn't talk to
 anyone. He doesn't understand why others write pages when
 he can write a couple of lines to answer the same question
 Julia: She's the newest student here. She doesn't have any
 friends yet but her secret aim is to be as popular as Python
 and as fast as C
If Programming Language were students. Found on Quora
                
            

            
            
If Programming Language were students. Found on Quora

            
            
        

    



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            




    Birthday, Party, and Superhero: My son was invited to a birthday party to learn superhero moves. Aka jujitsu. He took it very seriously.
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                Birthday, Party, and Superhero: My son was invited to a birthday party to learn superhero moves. Aka jujitsu. He took it very seriously.
                
            

            
            
My son was invited to a birthday party to learn superhero moves. Aka jujitsu. He took it very seriously.

            
            
        

    



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            




    Crying, Dad, and Fall: Big Body Benz
 @ ItsMissBre
 So I love Valentine's Day for other
 reasons
 My daddy (well step-dad, but daddy in
 my heart)
 Him and my mom's first Valentine's
 Day, she could not find a sitter. He
 wanted to do something really nice
 for her because she always had us
 (LOL). He planned this extravagant
 dinner
 4:18 AM 12 Feb 19 Twitter Web Client
 5,501 Retweets 19.4K Likes
 Big Body Benz ItsMissBre 1d
 at a fancy restaurant, gave her money for an
 outfit, got her hair done, etc... all for her sitter
 to fall though. So at the time, I was like 8, my
 sister and brother were 7 and 5. My mom
 was so bummed. I remember her crying and
 saying he should date someone who is able
 220
 1,555
 Big Body Benz ltsMissBre 1d
 go places and do things, and maybe not
 Someone with three kids. He didn't even
 flinch. He made paper invitations for us (the
 kids) and told us we were invited to a fancy
 dinner party. He told us to put on our best
 outfits and he would call us when it was time
 to come downstairs
 2
 221
 1,937
 Big Body Benz a ItsMissBre 1d
 So, he asked my mom to still get dressed for
 the date. He went out, got takeout from the
 nice place for all of us and we had a
 Valentine's Date all together at the dining
 room table. I will never forget that. I felt so
 special. We all got flowers and cards, my
 brother got
 th 254 3,417
 Big Body Benz ItsMissBre 1d
 a toy car LOL. When we came down the
 stairs, he introduced us and said something
 about our outfits like it was a fashion show
 Man. That shit stuck with me for years.I
 loved it. I felt so loved and I know my mom
 did too
 32
 7 3,952
 Big Body Benz_ItsMissBre 1d
 I'm glad y'all enjoyed that! I have a podcast
 where I y'all about motherhood from the
 black perspective @MamaMeetsPod check it
 out!
 tl 1011,320
 4
 Big Body Benz_ItsMissBre 1d
 Also, 20+ years later, here is my daddy with
 my son that I named after hinm
 101ロ321 8,774
Heart-warming Valentine’s story
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                Crying, Dad, and Fall: Big Body Benz
 @ ItsMissBre
 So I love Valentine's Day for other
 reasons
 My daddy (well step-dad, but daddy in
 my heart)
 Him and my mom's first Valentine's
 Day, she could not find a sitter. He
 wanted to do something really nice
 for her because she always had us
 (LOL). He planned this extravagant
 dinner
 4:18 AM 12 Feb 19 Twitter Web Client
 5,501 Retweets 19.4K Likes
 Big Body Benz ItsMissBre 1d
 at a fancy restaurant, gave her money for an
 outfit, got her hair done, etc... all for her sitter
 to fall though. So at the time, I was like 8, my
 sister and brother were 7 and 5. My mom
 was so bummed. I remember her crying and
 saying he should date someone who is able
 220
 1,555
 Big Body Benz ltsMissBre 1d
 go places and do things, and maybe not
 Someone with three kids. He didn't even
 flinch. He made paper invitations for us (the
 kids) and told us we were invited to a fancy
 dinner party. He told us to put on our best
 outfits and he would call us when it was time
 to come downstairs
 2
 221
 1,937
 Big Body Benz a ItsMissBre 1d
 So, he asked my mom to still get dressed for
 the date. He went out, got takeout from the
 nice place for all of us and we had a
 Valentine's Date all together at the dining
 room table. I will never forget that. I felt so
 special. We all got flowers and cards, my
 brother got
 th 254 3,417
 Big Body Benz ItsMissBre 1d
 a toy car LOL. When we came down the
 stairs, he introduced us and said something
 about our outfits like it was a fashion show
 Man. That shit stuck with me for years.I
 loved it. I felt so loved and I know my mom
 did too
 32
 7 3,952
 Big Body Benz_ItsMissBre 1d
 I'm glad y'all enjoyed that! I have a podcast
 where I y'all about motherhood from the
 black perspective @MamaMeetsPod check it
 out!
 tl 1011,320
 4
 Big Body Benz_ItsMissBre 1d
 Also, 20+ years later, here is my daddy with
 my son that I named after hinm
 101ロ321 8,774
Heart-warming Valentine’s story
                
            

            
            
Heart-warming Valentine’s story

            
            
        

    



        

            
        
        

            




    Crying, Dad, and Dank: Big Body Benz
 @ItsMissBre
 So I love Valentine's Day for other
 reasons
 My daddy (well step-dad, but daddy in
 my heart)
 Him and my mom's first Valentine's
 Day, she could not find a sitter. He
 wanted to do something really nice
 for her because she always had us
 (LOL). He planned this extravagant
 dinner
 4:18 AM 12 Feb 19 Twitter Web Client
 5,501 Retweets 19.4K Likes
 Big Body Benz ItsMissBre 1d
 at a fancy restaurant, gave her money for an
 outfit, got her hair done, etc... all for her sitter
 to fall though. So at the time, I was like 8, my
 sister and brother were 7 and 5. My mom
 was so bummed. I remember her crying and
 saying he should date someone who is able
 t 220 1,555
 Big Body Benz ItsMissBre 1d
 go places and do things, and maybe not
 Someone with three kids. He didn't even
 flinch. He made paper invitations for us (the
 kids) and told us we were invited to a fancy
 dinner party. He told us to put on our best
 outfits and he would call us when it was time
 to come downstairs
 2
 t 221 1,937
 Big Body Benz ItsMissBre 1d
 So, he asked my mom to still get dressed for
 the date. He went out, got takeout from the
 nice place for all of us and we had a
 Valentine's Date all together at the dining
 room table. I will never forget that. I felt so
 special. We all got flowers and cards, my
 brother got
 t 254 3,417
 Big Body Benz@_ItsMissBre 1d
 a toy car LOL. When we came down the
 stairs, he introduced us and said something
 about our outfits like it was a fashion show
 Man. That shit stuck with me for years. I
 loved it. I felt so loved and I know my mom
 did too
 t 247 3,952
 Big Body Benz_ItsMissBre 1d
 I'm glad y'all enjoyed that! I have a podcast
 where I y'all about motherhood from the
 black perspective @MamaMeetsPod check it
 out!
 4
 ta 101 1
 1,320
 Big Body Benz_ItsMissBre 1d
 Also, 20+ years later, here is my daddy with
 my son that I named after hinm
 9101
 321
 8,774
MFW I realize Im really not a King: 😟 by xero_art
MORE MEMES
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                Crying, Dad, and Dank: Big Body Benz
 @ItsMissBre
 So I love Valentine's Day for other
 reasons
 My daddy (well step-dad, but daddy in
 my heart)
 Him and my mom's first Valentine's
 Day, she could not find a sitter. He
 wanted to do something really nice
 for her because she always had us
 (LOL). He planned this extravagant
 dinner
 4:18 AM 12 Feb 19 Twitter Web Client
 5,501 Retweets 19.4K Likes
 Big Body Benz ItsMissBre 1d
 at a fancy restaurant, gave her money for an
 outfit, got her hair done, etc... all for her sitter
 to fall though. So at the time, I was like 8, my
 sister and brother were 7 and 5. My mom
 was so bummed. I remember her crying and
 saying he should date someone who is able
 t 220 1,555
 Big Body Benz ItsMissBre 1d
 go places and do things, and maybe not
 Someone with three kids. He didn't even
 flinch. He made paper invitations for us (the
 kids) and told us we were invited to a fancy
 dinner party. He told us to put on our best
 outfits and he would call us when it was time
 to come downstairs
 2
 t 221 1,937
 Big Body Benz ItsMissBre 1d
 So, he asked my mom to still get dressed for
 the date. He went out, got takeout from the
 nice place for all of us and we had a
 Valentine's Date all together at the dining
 room table. I will never forget that. I felt so
 special. We all got flowers and cards, my
 brother got
 t 254 3,417
 Big Body Benz@_ItsMissBre 1d
 a toy car LOL. When we came down the
 stairs, he introduced us and said something
 about our outfits like it was a fashion show
 Man. That shit stuck with me for years. I
 loved it. I felt so loved and I know my mom
 did too
 t 247 3,952
 Big Body Benz_ItsMissBre 1d
 I'm glad y'all enjoyed that! I have a podcast
 where I y'all about motherhood from the
 black perspective @MamaMeetsPod check it
 out!
 4
 ta 101 1
 1,320
 Big Body Benz_ItsMissBre 1d
 Also, 20+ years later, here is my daddy with
 my son that I named after hinm
 9101
 321
 8,774
MFW I realize Im really not a King: 😟 by xero_art
MORE MEMES
                
            

            
            
MFW I realize Im really not a King: 😟 by xero_art
MORE MEMES

            
            
        

    



        

            
        
        

            




    Crying, Dad, and Fall: Big Body Benz
 @ItsMissBre
 So I love Valentine's Day for other
 reasons
 My daddy (well step-dad, but daddy in
 my heart)
 Him and my mom's first Valentine's
 Day, she could not find a sitter. He
 wanted to do something really nice
 for her because she always had us
 (LOL). He planned this extravagant
 dinner
 4:18 AM 12 Feb 19 Twitter Web Client
 5,501 Retweets 19.4K Likes
 Big Body Benz ItsMissBre 1d
 at a fancy restaurant, gave her money for an
 outfit, got her hair done, etc... all for her sitter
 to fall though. So at the time, I was like 8, my
 sister and brother were 7 and 5. My mom
 was so bummed. I remember her crying and
 saying he should date someone who is able
 t 220 1,555
 Big Body Benz ItsMissBre 1d
 go places and do things, and maybe not
 Someone with three kids. He didn't even
 flinch. He made paper invitations for us (the
 kids) and told us we were invited to a fancy
 dinner party. He told us to put on our best
 outfits and he would call us when it was time
 to come downstairs
 2
 t 221 1,937
 Big Body Benz ItsMissBre 1d
 So, he asked my mom to still get dressed for
 the date. He went out, got takeout from the
 nice place for all of us and we had a
 Valentine's Date all together at the dining
 room table. I will never forget that. I felt so
 special. We all got flowers and cards, my
 brother got
 t 254 3,417
 Big Body Benz@_ItsMissBre 1d
 a toy car LOL. When we came down the
 stairs, he introduced us and said something
 about our outfits like it was a fashion show
 Man. That shit stuck with me for years. I
 loved it. I felt so loved and I know my mom
 did too
 t 247 3,952
 Big Body Benz_ItsMissBre 1d
 I'm glad y'all enjoyed that! I have a podcast
 where I y'all about motherhood from the
 black perspective @MamaMeetsPod check it
 out!
 4
 ta 101 1
 1,320
 Big Body Benz_ItsMissBre 1d
 Also, 20+ years later, here is my daddy with
 my son that I named after hinm
 9101
 321
 8,774
MFW I realize Im really not a King: 😟
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                Crying, Dad, and Fall: Big Body Benz
 @ItsMissBre
 So I love Valentine's Day for other
 reasons
 My daddy (well step-dad, but daddy in
 my heart)
 Him and my mom's first Valentine's
 Day, she could not find a sitter. He
 wanted to do something really nice
 for her because she always had us
 (LOL). He planned this extravagant
 dinner
 4:18 AM 12 Feb 19 Twitter Web Client
 5,501 Retweets 19.4K Likes
 Big Body Benz ItsMissBre 1d
 at a fancy restaurant, gave her money for an
 outfit, got her hair done, etc... all for her sitter
 to fall though. So at the time, I was like 8, my
 sister and brother were 7 and 5. My mom
 was so bummed. I remember her crying and
 saying he should date someone who is able
 t 220 1,555
 Big Body Benz ItsMissBre 1d
 go places and do things, and maybe not
 Someone with three kids. He didn't even
 flinch. He made paper invitations for us (the
 kids) and told us we were invited to a fancy
 dinner party. He told us to put on our best
 outfits and he would call us when it was time
 to come downstairs
 2
 t 221 1,937
 Big Body Benz ItsMissBre 1d
 So, he asked my mom to still get dressed for
 the date. He went out, got takeout from the
 nice place for all of us and we had a
 Valentine's Date all together at the dining
 room table. I will never forget that. I felt so
 special. We all got flowers and cards, my
 brother got
 t 254 3,417
 Big Body Benz@_ItsMissBre 1d
 a toy car LOL. When we came down the
 stairs, he introduced us and said something
 about our outfits like it was a fashion show
 Man. That shit stuck with me for years. I
 loved it. I felt so loved and I know my mom
 did too
 t 247 3,952
 Big Body Benz_ItsMissBre 1d
 I'm glad y'all enjoyed that! I have a podcast
 where I y'all about motherhood from the
 black perspective @MamaMeetsPod check it
 out!
 4
 ta 101 1
 1,320
 Big Body Benz_ItsMissBre 1d
 Also, 20+ years later, here is my daddy with
 my son that I named after hinm
 9101
 321
 8,774
MFW I realize Im really not a King: 😟
                
            

            
            
MFW I realize Im really not a King: 😟

            
            
        

    



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            




    A Dream, Christmas, and Instagram: cacen
 so at the bar in which I work, there's an unofficial rule
 that all of our door staff must have names that start
 with D or rhyme with 'doorman', which has led to me be-
 friending a trio of six foot four men with beards called
 Doorman Logan, Doorman Drew, and Doorman Dan
 now, let me tell you now that Doorman Dan is the abso-
 lute love of my life. I don't care that he's a decade older
 than me and has a fiance. you know when someone
 is so extraordinary or impossible to define that they're
 simply referred to as 'a character? that's Doorman Dan.
 now, before I get into his personality, let's describe his
 appearance. imagine the most stereotypical Scand
 inavian person ever: tall, white-blond, strong-jawed. now,
 add a heavy South Walian accent and an orange jumper.
 that's Doorman Dan.
 since meeting him last year, I've discovered
 .he once had a dream that he had a tattoo that
 said 'shit happens' on his left arsecheek, so when
 he woke up he decided he had to fulfil the prophecy
 and got it tattooed on his arse by a bloke called
 Junkie Jeff at 9AM
 .he forgot to call his girlfriend for three months
 while he was in the army, and was complet
 unaware they had broken up until he wishe
 happy Christmas and she responded with what the
 fuck Dan
 .accidentally married his army buddy in Vegas for
 thirty-six hours
 .he saw someone beating up a guy for being gay,
 and instead of jumping in and fighting back he
 decided to get absolutely bollock-naked and stand
 in front of the homophobe until he got freaked out
 and ran off
 .he has a millionare buddy who rings him up once a
 month for 'mystery adventures', one of which has
 resulted in Doorman Dan no longer being allowed
 inside any John Lewis shops
 .he is convinced the love of his life is not his
 fiancee, but a man named Ned. upon being asked
 who Ned is, he shrugged and responded with: "TII
 know when I meet him.
 .he runs an Instagram account dedicated to his pet
 rabbits and refuses to let people into the bar unless
 they follow him
 his fiancee booked a wedding venue before he even
 proposed. "I don't even know if I'm invited, truth be
 told."
 when he caught a couple having sex in our loos, he
 didn't want to intrude so he just gently knocked on
 the door and asked if they'd like a snack
 .
 .he has created his own non-alcoholic cocktail
 called Doorman's Sunrise because he feels left out
 being the only person on the dance floor without a
 drink when he's patrolling the bar
 I could honestly write a ten-season sitcom about him
 cacen
 BIG OL UPDATE: HE GOT MARRIED LAST WEEK!!!!
 zohbugg
 I need 10 seasons and a movie about the life of
 Doorman Dan
 thecheshirecass
 I look forward to reading more about the loving,
 polyamorous relationship he and his wife develop with
 Ned when they finally meet.
 fuckveahdiomedes
 What's the instagram for the rabbits, op?
 Source: cacen
 114,993 notes
The adventures of doorman dan
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                A Dream, Christmas, and Instagram: cacen
 so at the bar in which I work, there's an unofficial rule
 that all of our door staff must have names that start
 with D or rhyme with 'doorman', which has led to me be-
 friending a trio of six foot four men with beards called
 Doorman Logan, Doorman Drew, and Doorman Dan
 now, let me tell you now that Doorman Dan is the abso-
 lute love of my life. I don't care that he's a decade older
 than me and has a fiance. you know when someone
 is so extraordinary or impossible to define that they're
 simply referred to as 'a character? that's Doorman Dan.
 now, before I get into his personality, let's describe his
 appearance. imagine the most stereotypical Scand
 inavian person ever: tall, white-blond, strong-jawed. now,
 add a heavy South Walian accent and an orange jumper.
 that's Doorman Dan.
 since meeting him last year, I've discovered
 .he once had a dream that he had a tattoo that
 said 'shit happens' on his left arsecheek, so when
 he woke up he decided he had to fulfil the prophecy
 and got it tattooed on his arse by a bloke called
 Junkie Jeff at 9AM
 .he forgot to call his girlfriend for three months
 while he was in the army, and was complet
 unaware they had broken up until he wishe
 happy Christmas and she responded with what the
 fuck Dan
 .accidentally married his army buddy in Vegas for
 thirty-six hours
 .he saw someone beating up a guy for being gay,
 and instead of jumping in and fighting back he
 decided to get absolutely bollock-naked and stand
 in front of the homophobe until he got freaked out
 and ran off
 .he has a millionare buddy who rings him up once a
 month for 'mystery adventures', one of which has
 resulted in Doorman Dan no longer being allowed
 inside any John Lewis shops
 .he is convinced the love of his life is not his
 fiancee, but a man named Ned. upon being asked
 who Ned is, he shrugged and responded with: "TII
 know when I meet him.
 .he runs an Instagram account dedicated to his pet
 rabbits and refuses to let people into the bar unless
 they follow him
 his fiancee booked a wedding venue before he even
 proposed. "I don't even know if I'm invited, truth be
 told."
 when he caught a couple having sex in our loos, he
 didn't want to intrude so he just gently knocked on
 the door and asked if they'd like a snack
 .
 .he has created his own non-alcoholic cocktail
 called Doorman's Sunrise because he feels left out
 being the only person on the dance floor without a
 drink when he's patrolling the bar
 I could honestly write a ten-season sitcom about him
 cacen
 BIG OL UPDATE: HE GOT MARRIED LAST WEEK!!!!
 zohbugg
 I need 10 seasons and a movie about the life of
 Doorman Dan
 thecheshirecass
 I look forward to reading more about the loving,
 polyamorous relationship he and his wife develop with
 Ned when they finally meet.
 fuckveahdiomedes
 What's the instagram for the rabbits, op?
 Source: cacen
 114,993 notes
The adventures of doorman dan
                
            

            
            
The adventures of doorman dan