Jewish and Jew related memes

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Graffiti, Jewish, and Window: OSER Jewish Shopkeeper wipes graffiti off his window after Kristallnacht (November 1938, colorized)
Graffiti, Jewish, and Window: OSER
Jewish Shopkeeper wipes graffiti off his window after Kristallnacht (November 1938, colorized)

Jewish Shopkeeper wipes graffiti off his window after Kristallnacht (November 1938, colorized)

Bad, Fucking, and God: Sexy Bible Quotes, Inspired by Some Birds my Friend saw Fucking Outside her House, ao3tagoftheday: oxymoronicromantic: ao3tagoftheday: [Image Description: Tags reading “sexy bible quotes, inspired by some birds my friend saw fucking outside her house”] The AO3 Tag of the Day is: This is one hell of a non-sequitor “On the day when the Lord spoke to Moses in the land of Egypt, 29 the Lord said to Moses, “I am the Lord; tell Pharaoh king of Egypt all that I say to you.” 30 But Moses said to the Lord, “Behold, I am of uncircumcised lips. How will Pharaoh listen to me?” 7 And the Lord said to Moses, “See, I have made you like God to Pharaoh, and your brother Aaron shall be your prophet. 2 You shall speak all that I command you, and your brother Aaron shall tell Pharaoh to let the people of Israel go out of his land.” …I don’t think it’s telling anyone that they’re doing activism wrong???? Anyways. Song of Songs is sexier. Ok! First off, thanks for putting the verses in; that makes my life easier! Second, Song of Songs is undoubtedly sexy, but the phrase “uncircumcised lips” is much sexier. Here’s why:“Uncircumcised lips” is a literal translation of the Hebrew, and scholars have spent millennia trying to figure out what the fuck it means. Because, like, it’s a weird fucking phrase, let’s be real. Actually, let’s all take a moment to imagine what that might physically look like. We deserve it.Anyway, back on topic. Most scholars have ended up interpreting it as saying that Moses has some kind of speech impediment. But that’s really a stretch. I mean, if that’s what was meant, why not say, “a man of broken speech” or something like that? No, I think the meaning of that phrase is a lot simpler.Circumcision is the sign of the Jewish covenant with G-d. In this period of the Bible, after G-d and Abraham made the covenant but before the Law was given at Mt. Sinai, circumcision was the single, defining thing that set the Jewish people apart from everyone else. So what does it mean to have uncircumcised lips? I submit that to speak with uncircumcised lips is to speak with a non-Jewish voice.But Moses is Jewish! Why would his voice not be? Because, Moses is unique among the Jewish people. He wasn’t raised as a slave. That’s what the Jewish people are in this period and have been for hundreds of years. They’re slaves. For generations, that slavery has defined and warped their culture. Moses has never been a slave and has never lived among his people who are. He may be Jewish, but his understanding of his people, and therefore his ability to speak for them, is non-existent.So G-d tells Moses to speak to Pharoah on behalf of the Jewish people and Moses says no. How will he speak for his people, advocate for them, demand their freedom, when he can’t speak with their voice? He can’t do it and he tells G-d no. No, I won’t speak for the slaves when I am free. It’s not my place.So what does G-d say? He says Moses is right. He tells Moses to give G-d’s message to Aaron, a man who has been a slave all his life, and let Aaron go to Pharoah and speak for the Jewish people. Because Aaron is of them, understands them, their pain, their oppression, in a way that Moses, a free man, can’t and never will. Aaron speaks with a truly Jewish voice, with circumcised lips, so he must be the one who speaks for the Jewish people.So basically, G-d tells Moses to speak over an oppressed group he isn’t a part of, Moses says “no that’s bad activism”, and G-d says “you’re right oppressed people should speak and direct their own fight against oppression.”In conclusion, sure, the Song of Songs is sexy, but have you ever tried telling G-d that he needs to work harder to prioritize marginalized voices?
Bad, Fucking, and God: Sexy
 Bible Quotes, Inspired by Some Birds my Friend saw
 Fucking Outside her House,
ao3tagoftheday:

oxymoronicromantic:

ao3tagoftheday:

[Image Description: Tags reading “sexy bible quotes, inspired by some birds my friend saw fucking outside her house”]

The AO3 Tag of the Day is: This is one hell of a non-sequitor 

“On the day when the Lord spoke to Moses in the land of Egypt, 29 the Lord said to Moses, “I am the Lord; tell Pharaoh king of Egypt all that I say to you.” 30 But Moses said to the Lord, “Behold, I am of uncircumcised lips. How will Pharaoh listen to me?”
7 And the Lord said to Moses, “See, I have made you like God to Pharaoh, and your brother Aaron shall be your prophet. 2 You shall speak all that I command you, and your brother Aaron shall tell Pharaoh to let the people of Israel go out of his land.”
…I don’t think it’s telling anyone that they’re doing activism wrong????
Anyways. Song of Songs is sexier.

Ok! First off, thanks for putting the verses in; that makes my life easier! Second, Song of Songs is undoubtedly sexy, but the phrase “uncircumcised lips” is much sexier. Here’s why:“Uncircumcised lips” is a literal translation of the Hebrew, and scholars have spent millennia trying to figure out what the fuck it means. Because, like, it’s a weird fucking phrase, let’s be real. Actually, let’s all take a moment to imagine what that might physically look like. We deserve it.Anyway, back on topic. Most scholars have ended up interpreting it as saying that Moses has some kind of speech impediment. But that’s really a stretch. I mean, if that’s what was meant, why not say, “a man of broken speech” or something like that? No, I think the meaning of that phrase is a lot simpler.Circumcision is the sign of the Jewish covenant with G-d. In this period of the Bible, after G-d and Abraham made the covenant but before the Law was given at Mt. Sinai, circumcision was the single, defining thing that set the Jewish people apart from everyone else. So what does it mean to have uncircumcised lips? I submit that to speak with uncircumcised lips is to speak with a non-Jewish voice.But Moses is Jewish! Why would his voice not be? Because, Moses is unique among the Jewish people. He wasn’t raised as a slave. That’s what the Jewish people are in this period and have been for hundreds of years. They’re slaves. For generations, that slavery has defined and warped their culture. Moses has never been a slave and has never lived among his people who are. He may be Jewish, but his understanding of his people, and therefore his ability to speak for them, is non-existent.So G-d tells Moses to speak to Pharoah on behalf of the Jewish people and Moses says no. How will he speak for his people, advocate for them, demand their freedom, when he can’t speak with their voice? He can’t do it and he tells G-d no. No, I won’t speak for the slaves when I am free. It’s not my place.So what does G-d say? He says Moses is right. He tells Moses to give G-d’s message to Aaron, a man who has been a slave all his life, and let Aaron go to Pharoah and speak for the Jewish people. Because Aaron is of them, understands them, their pain, their oppression, in a way that Moses, a free man, can’t and never will. Aaron speaks with a truly Jewish voice, with circumcised lips, so he must be the one who speaks for the Jewish people.So basically, G-d tells Moses to speak over an oppressed group he isn’t a part of, Moses says “no that’s bad activism”, and G-d says “you’re right oppressed people should speak and direct their own fight against oppression.”In conclusion, sure, the Song of Songs is sexy, but have you ever tried telling G-d that he needs to work harder to prioritize marginalized voices?

ao3tagoftheday: oxymoronicromantic: ao3tagoftheday: [Image Description: Tags reading “sexy bible quotes, inspired by some birds my friend...

Ass, Bad, and Crime: wait, you're jewish? i wanna die so bad right now -waaaaay too tall -blood is 3% soda -literally murders innocents and is still widely considered a "smol bean" -good relationship with their mom -hobbies range from making origami to plotting to blow up the moon -really their height is just unreasonable and very intimidating i heard you've been saying some shit grandparents live in korea -little ball of anger -uses napalm as moisturiser -no one is sure if they're actually racist or not thinks they can speak german -lists "kicking inanimate objects" as a hobby got sold fake cocaine once about me on your blog -damaged -iterally no one can bring themselves to like -communicates only in grunts -writes terrible fiction -goes out of their way to upset others -trying desperately to hide the gay (failing) -says shit like "adios" (doesn't speak spanish -leaves agressive voicemails -used to be emo -gets drunk and stabs inanimate objects -has an alien girlfriends and also 700 alter egos -is 103% sure that the world is out to get them way too many Ns little miss finland turns to camera in shock ADAM supreme gentleman -absolutely deplorable shoves an american flag up their ass most mornings takes selfies everywhere -everywhere i said loves their pets -finds depressive thinking arousing horrible handwriting tries. fails. -wants to be Wait, You're Jewish? but can't does rude shit but no one can stay -uses air quotes to patronise others -"feminism is stupid" -can't get laid -has probably had lip injections. and ego injections. "why do girls always go for douchebags" -wears sunglasses indoors. at night. in december. after the last star in the galaxy has burned out. mad at them -all gods are fictional except for themselfays gets asked for I.D. -makes fun of soccer moms but doesn't act hasn't taken a flattering photo in 7 -says weird shit 97% of the time -wears t-shirts with edgy slogans -has v few friends but the friendships they clasifies self as a "cool kid" will not get a haircut hasn't slept ever do have a frighteningly intense 56 brennan's burger bundies gets what they want because they are-worships satan -known as the zodiac killer -takes off their glasses and becomes ets morbid sense of humour that occasionally gets them in trouble wants to have you (over) for dinner behaves drunk while sober and also while drunk. -vastly overestimates their ability to get away with things -does absolutely nothing in a group project and no one gets mad -dog person -has brushed their teeth less than 7 times since birth probably borrowed their cheekbones off a meth addict -greasy grease on top of their grease jeffreysdrunk: luvoxxx: Okeeey so I don’t usually post stuff but a friend of mine asked me to make a true crime tag yourself and I thought tumblr might appreciate it. I have no idea why there’s like 400 typos in it I swear English is my first language wtf. Anyway it’s just a meme it’s not meant to be disrespectful or gross or anything please enjoy my completely unfunny sense of humour. (Also I blatantly stole the d a m a g e d thing from another tag yourself I apologise) I’m grandparents live in Korea and Dahmer lol Way too many Ns *turns to camera in shock* Adam
Ass, Bad, and Crime: wait, you're jewish?
 i wanna die so bad right now
 -waaaaay too tall
 -blood is 3% soda
 -literally murders innocents and is still
 widely considered a "smol bean"
 -good relationship with their mom
 -hobbies range from making origami to
 plotting to blow up the moon
 -really their height is just unreasonable
 and very intimidating
 i heard you've been saying some shit
 grandparents live in korea
 -little ball of anger
 -uses napalm as moisturiser
 -no one is sure if they're actually
 racist or not
 thinks they can speak german
 -lists "kicking inanimate objects"
 as a hobby
 got sold fake cocaine once
 about me on your blog
 -damaged
 -iterally no one can bring themselves to like
 -communicates only in grunts
 -writes terrible fiction
 -goes out of their way to upset others
 -trying desperately to hide the gay (failing)
 -says shit like "adios" (doesn't speak spanish
 -leaves agressive voicemails
 -used to be emo
 -gets drunk and stabs inanimate objects
 -has an alien girlfriends and also 700 alter egos
 -is 103% sure that the world is out to get them
 way too many Ns
 little miss finland
 turns to camera in shock ADAM
 supreme gentleman
 -absolutely deplorable
 shoves an american flag up their ass
 most mornings
 takes selfies everywhere
 -everywhere i said
 loves their pets
 -finds depressive thinking arousing
 horrible handwriting
 tries. fails.
 -wants to be Wait, You're Jewish? but can't does rude shit but no one can stay
 -uses air quotes to patronise others
 -"feminism is stupid"
 -can't get laid
 -has probably had lip injections. and ego
 injections.
 "why do girls always go for douchebags"
 -wears sunglasses indoors. at night. in
 december. after the last star in the galaxy
 has burned out.
 mad at them
 -all gods are fictional except for themselfays gets asked for I.D.
 -makes fun of soccer moms but doesn't act hasn't taken a flattering photo in 7
 -says weird shit 97% of the time
 -wears t-shirts with edgy slogans
 -has v few friends but the friendships they clasifies self as a "cool kid"
 will not get a haircut
 hasn't slept ever
 do have a frighteningly intense
 56
 brennan's burger bundies
 gets what they want because they are-worships satan
 -known as the zodiac killer
 -takes off their glasses and becomes
 ets
 morbid sense of humour that
 occasionally gets them in trouble
 wants to have you (over) for dinner
 behaves drunk while sober and also
 while drunk.
 -vastly overestimates their ability to get
 away with things
 -does absolutely nothing in a group
 project and no one gets mad
 -dog person
 -has brushed their teeth less than 7
 times since birth
 probably borrowed their cheekbones
 off a meth addict
 -greasy grease on top of their grease
jeffreysdrunk:

luvoxxx:

Okeeey so I don’t usually post stuff but a friend of mine asked me to make a true crime tag yourself and I thought tumblr might appreciate it. I have no idea why there’s like 400 typos in it I swear English is my first language wtf. Anyway it’s just a meme it’s not meant to be disrespectful or gross or anything please enjoy my completely unfunny sense of humour. (Also I blatantly stole the  d a m a g e d  thing from another tag yourself I apologise)

I’m grandparents live in Korea and Dahmer lol

Way too many Ns *turns to camera in shock* Adam

jeffreysdrunk: luvoxxx: Okeeey so I don’t usually post stuff but a friend of mine asked me to make a true crime tag yourself and I thought...

Beautiful, Beef, and Bless Up: I am definitely going to steal my Neighbor's pomsky Fam! I’ve never seen anything this beautiful. This is Lion King level love. Circle of Life level love. This right HERE Bruv?! This is lions and hyenas hugging and taking a nap together. On some “we all have plenty of vegetables to eat let’s chill for a hot sec and be loving.” This is the Israelis and Palestinians hugging it out and living peacefully with one another on some “u know what we eat the same falafel and hummus anyway and our ladies basically look the same Jewish girls may have slightly larger Tetas and Arabians might be a lil larger in the trunka dunk but basically the same lol let’s intermarry and end this intermillennial beef that made no logical sense ☺️.” This is the Bears and the Green Bay Packers joining up to form one super team and they only have one kicker and he doesn’t end the season by missing an easy field goal 😕. Fam. This is Donald Trump and Nancy Pelosi waking up in bed together talmbout “there are no longer two political parties. We only have one party now and it’s the Party of Love and everybody gets free medical care and goes to school for free and there are no taxes you just pay what you can like the tip jar at Starbucks.” And then all the trump supporters like “WE WANTED A WALL” and trump like “effective immediately Mexico is the 51st state. Canada is the 52nd. France is the 53rd because I like French fries.” And then Melania pop up like “wow doneld Nancy eez so old I deed not expect thees also why Croatia eez not 54th state” and then Donald all like “effectively immediately I am declaring an emergency and building a wall between the US and Croatia” and then Nancy pop up like “hehe what my love meant to say was, no problem melania, Croatia is the 54th state also don’t ever play me again you wish you had this sauce 🍝“ I HAVE LOST MY MIND FROM THESE VIDEOS I AM SORRY YALL LMAO BLESS UP 😍😂😂 (Slide 1: reddit u-TigreDemon. Slide 2: @carolinehdupont. Videos used with express permission of the respective creators. All rights are reserved to them.)
Beautiful, Beef, and Bless Up: I am definitely going to steal my
 Neighbor's pomsky
Fam! I’ve never seen anything this beautiful. This is Lion King level love. Circle of Life level love. This right HERE Bruv?! This is lions and hyenas hugging and taking a nap together. On some “we all have plenty of vegetables to eat let’s chill for a hot sec and be loving.” This is the Israelis and Palestinians hugging it out and living peacefully with one another on some “u know what we eat the same falafel and hummus anyway and our ladies basically look the same Jewish girls may have slightly larger Tetas and Arabians might be a lil larger in the trunka dunk but basically the same lol let’s intermarry and end this intermillennial beef that made no logical sense ☺️.” This is the Bears and the Green Bay Packers joining up to form one super team and they only have one kicker and he doesn’t end the season by missing an easy field goal 😕. Fam. This is Donald Trump and Nancy Pelosi waking up in bed together talmbout “there are no longer two political parties. We only have one party now and it’s the Party of Love and everybody gets free medical care and goes to school for free and there are no taxes you just pay what you can like the tip jar at Starbucks.” And then all the trump supporters like “WE WANTED A WALL” and trump like “effective immediately Mexico is the 51st state. Canada is the 52nd. France is the 53rd because I like French fries.” And then Melania pop up like “wow doneld Nancy eez so old I deed not expect thees also why Croatia eez not 54th state” and then Donald all like “effectively immediately I am declaring an emergency and building a wall between the US and Croatia” and then Nancy pop up like “hehe what my love meant to say was, no problem melania, Croatia is the 54th state also don’t ever play me again you wish you had this sauce 🍝“ I HAVE LOST MY MIND FROM THESE VIDEOS I AM SORRY YALL LMAO BLESS UP 😍😂😂 (Slide 1: reddit u-TigreDemon. Slide 2: @carolinehdupont. Videos used with express permission of the respective creators. All rights are reserved to them.)

Fam! I’ve never seen anything this beautiful. This is Lion King level love. Circle of Life level love. This right HERE Bruv?! This is lions ...