key


                    
                    
                

🔥 | Latest

Af, Asian, and Aww: Anonymous 04/23/18 (Mon)22:57:12 No.766778676 Hey /b/romosexuals, story time > Be me, 17 year old 7/10 male Have an objectively 6, subjectively 8/10 asian gf who loves me 182 KB JPG Major trust issues from a relationship that went bad a while ago relationship friends since 13 Clingy af, probably still a result of that last We've known each other since we were 12, been Tell her I love her evervdav Despite her always replying that she loves me to, start doubting that Gf tells me after a lot of thinking, she's asexual Ohshitlmaydieavirgin Suddenly text my ex spontaneously, find out she's single Lie and say I'm single She asks to meet up for a coffee at Tims (I'm a Leaf) > I decide to go because I'm pissed at my gf Continue? Alright then go to the meet up with ex s my ex is just as beautiful as ever. She has shorter hair and small tits but thats sorta my thing She got me a coffee alread >It was the same type of coffee I drank when was with her on our first date (Double double) >She smiles, it looks cute on her > I ask her whats up, and she mentions my clearly visible erection I sat down faster than I lost my erection s We make small talk for a bit, we instantly have a spark > I havent felt this spark for a few years Eventually she says what both of us have been thinking "We should get back together." Idk what to say. Can't tell her I lied about being single at this point, but I also like her a lot more than my gf > Decide to keep it going "Sure, but I don't have a lot of free time with work. > I just lost my job > I give her the address to the apartment I'm in, which I don't actually pay for. My best bud does Invite her over one time She says "Why not tonight?" My gf hasn't text me and doesnt have a key, and my buddy is out of townm Sure, what could go wrong? Almost done the story /b/ois, cont.? > Take her back to the apartment > Time is a bit late. Ask her what she wants to do She immediately gives me a smile that could only mean one of two things, sex or something sexual > Before I can say anything she notices a picture have of me and my girlfriend on top of the shelf >"Who's this?" > I panic > My sister >She gets confused. My sister is asian? > "You never told me you had a sister, anon, andI met your family > Ohshit.jpg > I make up a story on the spot about my parents splitting and my dad remarrying. She's my stepsister. We broke up over a year ago. My parents fought once in front of her. Not too far fetched "Aww, anon. I'm so sorry." She says, basically jumping into my arms after putting the photo down Haven't even blown a load in at least a week >Boner is visible >She goes for it. I had forgotten that one of the main reasons we broke up was her sex drive and mine not matching up >Suddenly remember second was that she was a crazy bitch towards me sometimes > I just go with it and hope that I wont remember this in a month Best sex I ever had. (I bagged up tho. No worries sWe fall asleep in eachothers arms on my roommates bed crazv bitch towards me sometimes >I just go with it and hope that I wont remember this in a month Best sex I ever had. (I bagged up tho. No worries s We fall asleep in eachothers arms on my roommates bed Wake up to a banging on the door Groggily get up to find my ex making breakfast and my best friends gf at the door Wtf I yell through the door at her "What do you want?" (My best bud) left something and needed her to bring it to him > I open the door cautiously She sees my ex, and me half naked. She ofo knows about my af She asks to talk to me in private Takes me to the bedroom, locks the door and quietly asks me "Are you cheating or did you break I don't lie to her >She gets frustrated with me and leaves without my buds thing he needed "What was that?" My ex asks Now T don't remember exactly what I said at this point because I was scared shitless. My buds gf was for sure gonna tell mine and now things were gonna tumble down Cont? > "What was that anon?" >Ex js getting visibly annoyed and worried > She looks back at the photo of me and my "sister I look down at the floor My ex suddenly pieces something together right then and there >"ls she vour girlfriend?" > I fucking crumble and admit everything >She's surprisingly understanding, but just as understandably upset > ''You should call her No >"I need you to do this for me" I do > I explain the whole thing to her, sparing the sexual details > She sounds pretty heartbroken I try to console her but it doesnt work as well as l would have hoped She hangs up on me I'm in a puddle of tears sitting next to the first girl | ever loved > She hugs me awkwardly one last time > "I need one more thing from you > I look at her and wipe away some tears. "What?" > She smiles at me warmly and says "I need about tree fiddy I suddenly realised what I should have long ago My ex was about 8 stories tall and was a crustacean from the paleozoic era The god damn loch ness monster had tricked me again Anon is conflicted
Af, Asian, and Aww: Anonymous 04/23/18 (Mon)22:57:12 No.766778676
 Hey /b/romosexuals, story time
 > Be me, 17 year old 7/10 male
 Have an objectively 6,
 subjectively 8/10 asian gf who
 loves me
 182 KB JPG
 Major trust issues from a
 relationship that went bad a while ago
 relationship
 friends since 13
 Clingy af, probably still a result of that last
 We've known each other since we were 12, been
 Tell her I love her evervdav
 Despite her always replying that she loves me to,
 start doubting that
 Gf tells me after a lot of thinking, she's asexual
 Ohshitlmaydieavirgin
 Suddenly text my ex spontaneously, find out
 she's single
 Lie and say I'm single
 She asks to meet up for a coffee at Tims (I'm a
 Leaf)
 > I decide to go because I'm pissed at my gf
 Continue?

 Alright then
 go to the meet up with ex
 s my ex is just as beautiful as ever. She has
 shorter hair and small tits but thats sorta my thing
 She got me a coffee alread
 >It was the same type of coffee I drank when
 was with her on our first date (Double double)
 >She smiles, it looks cute on her
 > I ask her whats up, and she mentions my clearly
 visible erection
 I sat down faster than I lost my erection
 s We make small talk for a bit, we instantly have a
 spark
 > I havent felt this spark for a few years
 Eventually she says what both of us have been
 thinking
 "We should get back together."
 Idk what to say. Can't tell her I lied about being
 single at this point, but I also like her a lot more
 than my gf
 > Decide to keep it going
 "Sure, but I don't have a lot of free time with
 work.
 > I just lost my job
 > I give her the address to the apartment I'm in,
 which I don't actually pay for. My best bud does
 Invite her over one time
 She says "Why not tonight?"
 My gf hasn't text me and doesnt have a key, and
 my buddy is out of townm
 Sure, what could go wrong?
 Almost done the story /b/ois, cont.?

 > Take her back to the apartment
 > Time is a bit late. Ask her what she wants to do
 She immediately gives me a smile that could
 only mean one of two things, sex or something
 sexual
 > Before I can say anything she notices a picture
 have of me and my girlfriend on top of the shelf
 >"Who's this?"
 > I panic
 > My sister
 >She gets confused. My sister is asian?
 > "You never told me you had a sister, anon, andI
 met your family
 > Ohshit.jpg
 > I make up a story on the spot about my parents
 splitting and my dad remarrying. She's my
 stepsister. We broke up over a year ago. My
 parents fought once in front of her. Not too far
 fetched
 "Aww, anon. I'm so sorry." She says, basically
 jumping into my arms after putting the photo
 down
 Haven't even blown a load in at least a week
 >Boner is visible
 >She goes for it. I had forgotten that one of the
 main reasons we broke up was her sex drive and
 mine not matching up
 >Suddenly remember second was that she was a
 crazy bitch towards me sometimes
 > I just go with it and hope that I wont remember
 this in a month
 Best sex I ever had. (I bagged up tho. No
 worries
 sWe fall asleep in eachothers arms on my
 roommates bed

 crazv bitch towards me sometimes
 >I just go with it and hope that I wont remember
 this in a month
 Best sex I ever had. (I bagged up tho. No
 worries
 s We fall asleep in eachothers arms on my
 roommates bed
 Wake up to a banging on the door
 Groggily get up to find my ex making breakfast
 and my best friends gf at the door
 Wtf
 I yell through the door at her "What do you want?"
 (My best bud) left something and needed her to
 bring it to him
 > I open the door cautiously
 She sees my ex, and me half naked. She ofo
 knows about my af
 She asks to talk to me in private
 Takes me to the bedroom, locks the door and
 quietly asks me "Are you cheating or did you break
 I don't lie to her
 >She gets frustrated with me and leaves without
 my buds thing he needed
 "What was that?" My ex asks
 Now T don't remember exactly what I said at this
 point because I was scared shitless. My buds gf
 was for sure gonna tell mine and now things were
 gonna tumble down
 Cont?

 > "What was that anon?"
 >Ex js getting visibly annoyed and worried
 > She looks back at the photo of me and my
 "sister
 I look down at the floor
 My ex suddenly pieces something together right
 then and there
 >"ls she vour girlfriend?"
 > I fucking crumble and admit everything
 >She's surprisingly understanding, but just as
 understandably upset
 > ''You should call her
 No
 >"I need you to do this for me"
 I do
 > I explain the whole thing to her, sparing the
 sexual details
 > She sounds pretty heartbroken
 I try to console her but it doesnt work as well as l
 would have hoped
 She hangs up on me
 I'm in a puddle of tears sitting next to the first girl
 | ever loved
 > She hugs me awkwardly one last time
 > "I need one more thing from you
 > I look at her and wipe away some tears. "What?"
 > She smiles at me warmly and says "I need about
 tree fiddy
 I suddenly realised what I should have long ago
 My ex was about 8 stories tall and was a
 crustacean from the paleozoic era
 The god damn loch ness monster had tricked me
 again
Anon is conflicted

Anon is conflicted

Bless Up, Dude, and Gym: These doggos are true bros until the end of time @DrSmashlove Reddit u/beesbuzzlots Every time I’m at the gym bruv it’s at least one “golf bro” there. U know this dude because he be doing oddly specific asf workouts 🤔. Oddly specific stretches. Arm swings that vaguely resemble a golf swing. But the key giveaway that Chadwick is a certified golf bro is he rocking that Titleist brand cap. U feel me? Like that’s him saying: “u peasants are here to look big in a t-shirt. I lift so I can add 10 yards to my drive ☺️.” (Side note I’ve been golfing for two years now bc I have to (for work) and the reason I do it rarely is bc u have to put in hours every wknd to yield modest improvements in ya game and I got better things to do on wknds like look at memes and take depression naps 🤗😂). Now then. Seeing all these Titleist caps got me thinking: Why isn’t this a word? Like this should be a thing. “Susan if I do say so myself you are looking delightfully Titlè today. Oh of course! No I mean it! Just fulsome and perky. Are you on your red river by chance(?) Yes? How did I guess? LOL you’re silly Susan. Just a wild premonition ☺️. Have an awesome day ❤️.” U feel me? “Erica! My goodness! U are looking Titlèier than I’ve ever seen before. That bathing suit can barely hold you lol! No, thank YOU! Your Titlèiness has made this trip to the pool absolutely worth my while!” U feel me? Like how could someone feel offended by being called Titlè? It’s such a delicate, gracious word! “Samantha I’m gonna be frank. You know I have zero filter LOL so here goes - bombs away ☺️. I’ve dated some wonderfully Titlè women before. Really. Just shapely and awesome. But you’re the Titlèist. Yes. YES. Don’t debate me on this SAMANTHA 😂. No YOU stop! Oh now you’re blushing ... LIKE NOBODY’S EVER CALLED YOU TITLÈ BEFORE I MEAN YOU’RE WEARING A SHEER TOP IT’S NOT LIKE YOU’RE TRYING TO HIDE YOUR TITLÈIOSITY 😂.” Titlèism = the study of mammaries. Titlèness = an abundance of mammarical wondrousness. U feel me? It’s 2018. Let’s make this a word. BLESS UP 😍😂😂😂 (pic: @gamzeilefelix)
Bless Up, Dude, and Gym: These doggos are true bros until the end
 of time
 @DrSmashlove
 Reddit u/beesbuzzlots
Every time I’m at the gym bruv it’s at least one “golf bro” there. U know this dude because he be doing oddly specific asf workouts 🤔. Oddly specific stretches. Arm swings that vaguely resemble a golf swing. But the key giveaway that Chadwick is a certified golf bro is he rocking that Titleist brand cap. U feel me? Like that’s him saying: “u peasants are here to look big in a t-shirt. I lift so I can add 10 yards to my drive ☺️.” (Side note I’ve been golfing for two years now bc I have to (for work) and the reason I do it rarely is bc u have to put in hours every wknd to yield modest improvements in ya game and I got better things to do on wknds like look at memes and take depression naps 🤗😂). Now then. Seeing all these Titleist caps got me thinking: Why isn’t this a word? Like this should be a thing. “Susan if I do say so myself you are looking delightfully Titlè today. Oh of course! No I mean it! Just fulsome and perky. Are you on your red river by chance(?) Yes? How did I guess? LOL you’re silly Susan. Just a wild premonition ☺️. Have an awesome day ❤️.” U feel me? “Erica! My goodness! U are looking Titlèier than I’ve ever seen before. That bathing suit can barely hold you lol! No, thank YOU! Your Titlèiness has made this trip to the pool absolutely worth my while!” U feel me? Like how could someone feel offended by being called Titlè? It’s such a delicate, gracious word! “Samantha I’m gonna be frank. You know I have zero filter LOL so here goes - bombs away ☺️. I’ve dated some wonderfully Titlè women before. Really. Just shapely and awesome. But you’re the Titlèist. Yes. YES. Don’t debate me on this SAMANTHA 😂. No YOU stop! Oh now you’re blushing ... LIKE NOBODY’S EVER CALLED YOU TITLÈ BEFORE I MEAN YOU’RE WEARING A SHEER TOP IT’S NOT LIKE YOU’RE TRYING TO HIDE YOUR TITLÈIOSITY 😂.” Titlèism = the study of mammaries. Titlèness = an abundance of mammarical wondrousness. U feel me? It’s 2018. Let’s make this a word. BLESS UP 😍😂😂😂 (pic: @gamzeilefelix)

Every time I’m at the gym bruv it’s at least one “golf bro” there. U know this dude because he be doing oddly specific asf workouts 🤔. Oddly...

Bless Up, Booty, and Christmas: Picked up this little girl today. I never knew something so cute could have such horrendous farts @DrSmashlove Reddit u/thecasquatch Shout to u ladies bruv I see u. Pink nikes. Black yoga pants with the strategically placed sheer cutouts. Oversized coat. Dripping wet hair. Scurrying back to the office at 12:58 pm. Stinkin. Just sweatily stinking up a storm baby girl u are appreciated 🤤. See me in the lobby I’m holding the elevator door looking at u and u like “OMG smash I stink LOL!! I’ll take the next one!” No the eff u won’t 🤗😂. This is Christmas in Ferrurary. 🎅🏼 Christmas in March. 🎄 U feel me? “Don’t be silly lol! All aboard 😁.” I inhale inaudibly thru my nose and let out a small, very small like dis big 👌 pip squeak cough ... “damn! Sinuses lol...CAN A BROTHER GET SOME CLARITIN IN HERE 😤” (c) Key and Peele 😂. Ain no damn sinuses bruv. I just had to get that one wondrous serene low key whiff of pure mid Day booty sweat 🍑💦 . U could had taken a few minutes to shower. But u didn’t. U didn’t for all of us - witcha nastass 😍😂. Now u perfuming the elevator before returning to ya office to put clothes and heels back on. Again I thank u. Mid day work doldrums can be heavy but an elevator full of yoga pant booty stench, like an Umbria espresso chased by a bubbly water, awakens the senses and enlivens the loins 😍. And before u ladies attack me for being a freak first of all bish YES I AM 😂. Second of all not long ago a ting was taking a vigorous ride on Le Pony like the Ginuwine song when, half a minute prior to busting, she buried her face in my underarm and bounced-clapped Le Chèéks vigorously on mine Peepington and I’m like “wha?” And she said in that deep, satanic I’m-bout-to-buss voice “DONNNNT STOPPPP 🐲👹👺” and she let loose the waterfall harder than I had theretofore experienced and at that moment it dawned on me: Le Stínk is a gift from God (among many) visited upon humankind to bring us back to our animalistic senses. Back to the jungle. U feel me? Amazonian type isht. Embrace Le Stínk. U an me baby ain’t nothing but mammals. So let’s do it how they do on the discovery channel BLESS UP 🤤😍😂
Bless Up, Booty, and Christmas: Picked up this little girl today. I never
 knew something so cute could have
 such horrendous farts
 @DrSmashlove
 Reddit u/thecasquatch
Shout to u ladies bruv I see u. Pink nikes. Black yoga pants with the strategically placed sheer cutouts. Oversized coat. Dripping wet hair. Scurrying back to the office at 12:58 pm. Stinkin. Just sweatily stinking up a storm baby girl u are appreciated 🤤. See me in the lobby I’m holding the elevator door looking at u and u like “OMG smash I stink LOL!! I’ll take the next one!” No the eff u won’t 🤗😂. This is Christmas in Ferrurary. 🎅🏼 Christmas in March. 🎄 U feel me? “Don’t be silly lol! All aboard 😁.” I inhale inaudibly thru my nose and let out a small, very small like dis big 👌 pip squeak cough ... “damn! Sinuses lol...CAN A BROTHER GET SOME CLARITIN IN HERE 😤” (c) Key and Peele 😂. Ain no damn sinuses bruv. I just had to get that one wondrous serene low key whiff of pure mid Day booty sweat 🍑💦 . U could had taken a few minutes to shower. But u didn’t. U didn’t for all of us - witcha nastass 😍😂. Now u perfuming the elevator before returning to ya office to put clothes and heels back on. Again I thank u. Mid day work doldrums can be heavy but an elevator full of yoga pant booty stench, like an Umbria espresso chased by a bubbly water, awakens the senses and enlivens the loins 😍. And before u ladies attack me for being a freak first of all bish YES I AM 😂. Second of all not long ago a ting was taking a vigorous ride on Le Pony like the Ginuwine song when, half a minute prior to busting, she buried her face in my underarm and bounced-clapped Le Chèéks vigorously on mine Peepington and I’m like “wha?” And she said in that deep, satanic I’m-bout-to-buss voice “DONNNNT STOPPPP 🐲👹👺” and she let loose the waterfall harder than I had theretofore experienced and at that moment it dawned on me: Le Stínk is a gift from God (among many) visited upon humankind to bring us back to our animalistic senses. Back to the jungle. U feel me? Amazonian type isht. Embrace Le Stínk. U an me baby ain’t nothing but mammals. So let’s do it how they do on the discovery channel BLESS UP 🤤😍😂

Shout to u ladies bruv I see u. Pink nikes. Black yoga pants with the strategically placed sheer cutouts. Oversized coat. Dripping wet hair....

Blessed, Life, and Memes: CHANGE YOUR OUTLOOK IF YOU WANT TO CHANGE YOUR OUTCOME." ' How to keep a positive outlook all the time? In a cluttered world full of anxiety and stress, it is easy to feel that you are carrying the weight of the world in your shoulders. You fill up your calendar and rush from one activity to another as if taking time to rest and reflect is forbidden. You then find yourself asking why life is so stressful and hard. The key to disengaging from the fast pace and stress is to take the time to develop and maintain a positive outlook on life. But… how? ✔️Being Happy About Yourself Realise that you’re unique and one of a kind. You were created to make a mark in this life and not just born to survive. You may not realize it but one way or another, someone feels so blessed with your existence.So stop saying you’re nobody. ✔️Remember that your life can be just what you want it to be. Most of life is a choice, having the freedom to act and decide on your own.Start deciding and stop complaining. ✔️Count your blessings, not your troubles. There are two types of people: a proactive and a reactive. The reactive always see the trouble and blames the circumstance to other people, while proactive see troubles as a bridge to success. Which are you? Comment below and let’s find out! - blessings positive millionairementor
Blessed, Life, and Memes: CHANGE YOUR OUTLOOK
 IF YOU WANT TO CHANGE
 YOUR OUTCOME."
 '
How to keep a positive outlook all the time? In a cluttered world full of anxiety and stress, it is easy to feel that you are carrying the weight of the world in your shoulders. You fill up your calendar and rush from one activity to another as if taking time to rest and reflect is forbidden. You then find yourself asking why life is so stressful and hard. The key to disengaging from the fast pace and stress is to take the time to develop and maintain a positive outlook on life. But… how? ✔️Being Happy About Yourself Realise that you’re unique and one of a kind. You were created to make a mark in this life and not just born to survive. You may not realize it but one way or another, someone feels so blessed with your existence.So stop saying you’re nobody. ✔️Remember that your life can be just what you want it to be. Most of life is a choice, having the freedom to act and decide on your own.Start deciding and stop complaining. ✔️Count your blessings, not your troubles. There are two types of people: a proactive and a reactive. The reactive always see the trouble and blames the circumstance to other people, while proactive see troubles as a bridge to success. Which are you? Comment below and let’s find out! - blessings positive millionairementor

How to keep a positive outlook all the time? In a cluttered world full of anxiety and stress, it is easy to feel that you are carrying the w...

Bad, Chill, and Drunk: this is my good boy HendriX. eDiSmahlove Pic: reddit u/bigfatpup rs Shout to the cheeto man I had him all wrong. I really did. He is in fact a brilliant leader, lemme splain u why. The average starting teach salary in this country is $36,141. For that amount per year she gotta come into work at a hella absurdly early hour like 5:50 am for no reason other than schools are still tied to the antiquated agrarian system where people awoke at sun up to take they kids to school and tend the crops. She gotta deal with all type of coffee breath from fellow coworkers. She gotta deal with Todd the kindygarten teacher with the terrible bicep tattoo and outdated nerd glasses like not the new joints that’s sleek but like the Randy Jackson joints who hit on every, single female teacher. She gotta deal with bad a$$ misbehaving kids. Angry helicopter parents. By the time Friday come around she so exhausted, so beat, so withered that the only thing she got energy for is to crawl home, pop that bottle of wine, pack that bowl, and text smash like “long week zaddy come beat the brakes off this lil Nani lol wyd tho don’t say Work nobody works on Friday 😤”. Ok Kristine, Mandy and Samantha chill Imma get to all of u sequentially in order LOL JUST KIDDING CHILL PEOPLE DAMN. Anyway in addition to all this stress and heartache for $36k-year the cheeto wanna give these poor young tings firearms and bulletproof vests to confront deranged murderers when they go on shooting rampages at schools. Now lemme get this straight. Video footage shows that the trained, armed cop that came to the school in Boca Raton was too scared to enter the school because this kid was firing extended clips off a AR-15. But Mandy, on her fourth cup of coffee because she still low key wine drunk on a Thursday morning bc she polished a bottle off the night before bc she couldn’t wait till Friday ... MANDY ... all 5 foot 1 of her ... is expected to strap a gun to her leg and do the work a trained cop won’t do and engage a killer brandishing an army rifle. Cheeto, I had u underestimated my dude! U are indeed a wondrous repository of good ideas and good leadership - I had u wrong! My deepest apologies. Nothing but respect for my president 🇺🇸😂😂😂
Bad, Chill, and Drunk: this is my good boy HendriX. eDiSmahlove
 Pic: reddit u/bigfatpup
 rs
Shout to the cheeto man I had him all wrong. I really did. He is in fact a brilliant leader, lemme splain u why. The average starting teach salary in this country is $36,141. For that amount per year she gotta come into work at a hella absurdly early hour like 5:50 am for no reason other than schools are still tied to the antiquated agrarian system where people awoke at sun up to take they kids to school and tend the crops. She gotta deal with all type of coffee breath from fellow coworkers. She gotta deal with Todd the kindygarten teacher with the terrible bicep tattoo and outdated nerd glasses like not the new joints that’s sleek but like the Randy Jackson joints who hit on every, single female teacher. She gotta deal with bad a$$ misbehaving kids. Angry helicopter parents. By the time Friday come around she so exhausted, so beat, so withered that the only thing she got energy for is to crawl home, pop that bottle of wine, pack that bowl, and text smash like “long week zaddy come beat the brakes off this lil Nani lol wyd tho don’t say Work nobody works on Friday 😤”. Ok Kristine, Mandy and Samantha chill Imma get to all of u sequentially in order LOL JUST KIDDING CHILL PEOPLE DAMN. Anyway in addition to all this stress and heartache for $36k-year the cheeto wanna give these poor young tings firearms and bulletproof vests to confront deranged murderers when they go on shooting rampages at schools. Now lemme get this straight. Video footage shows that the trained, armed cop that came to the school in Boca Raton was too scared to enter the school because this kid was firing extended clips off a AR-15. But Mandy, on her fourth cup of coffee because she still low key wine drunk on a Thursday morning bc she polished a bottle off the night before bc she couldn’t wait till Friday ... MANDY ... all 5 foot 1 of her ... is expected to strap a gun to her leg and do the work a trained cop won’t do and engage a killer brandishing an army rifle. Cheeto, I had u underestimated my dude! U are indeed a wondrous repository of good ideas and good leadership - I had u wrong! My deepest apologies. Nothing but respect for my president 🇺🇸😂😂😂

Shout to the cheeto man I had him all wrong. I really did. He is in fact a brilliant leader, lemme splain u why. The average starting teach ...