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Apparently, Beef, and Candy: envwadams today at work i let someone into a dressing room and they said thanks" and half of me tried to say you're welcome and the other half tried to say "no problem and i ended up saying your problem this post had me in tears I was hoping the notes would be full of similar stories, but they're not, so I'll add my story for anyone else ooking for more laughs I had to go to a library to pay a fee and I was practicing in the car between "I have to pay a fine and "I have to pay a fee and I walked in and firmily stated "I have to pee and slapped a five dollar bill on the counter (the fee was like ten cents), and walked out. This was like three years ago and I still haven't been back My friend was driving and we were almost past our turnoff so I tried to say quick" and tast at the same time and l ended up screaming QUACK which ended up with him judging me very hard and missing the turn Recently someone in class asked me how was doing and I started off saying I was good but switched to I'm okay in the middle and ended up saying I'm gay Which, whille kind of accurate, was not what I meant to announce to my classmate This Halloween I was handing out candy and a child said trick or treat and I smilled gave them their candy and apparently my mouth betrayed me and I said "Merry Christmas" and proceeded to sit down and look up to the sky for answers while their mother laughed at me D) I was swtching between "Bye Deanna" and "Goodbye and I ended up saying "Go Die Sometimes I try to say "I fucking love you but t comes out in the wrong order and then everyone's When I first started my coffee shop job, I was st getting used to greeting customers as they came in the door. A man walked in, and in the jumble of trying to say, "How are you doing? and "What's up?" i ended up demanding "what are you doing here?r something really cool happened once at the office and i started to say "im so amazed but halfway through my mind changed to "that's really amazing and i just ended up saying Tm really so amazing one time i was out in the woods in the spring when the birds were just beginning to come out again and i went to say "im so pumped for the birds and iIm so hyped for the birds" and instead i said "I'm so humped for birds Once I was walking to school and there was a guy walking his dog and the dog came to me and started sniting me and I was in such a good mood and when I passed by his owner I wanted to say like "hello" or good morning" or cute dog" or something like that and I ended up looking up at him, smiling real big, and saying thank you' I was at the convenience store and I was going to buy a drink, but i dropped my keys and the drink when I got to the register so I got caught between "my drinkr and "my keys" and ended up screaming MY KINK I walked up to this register,in a target. When the cashier finished checking me out she sald have a good day, and i wanted to say "You have a good day" and "You too so it came out "You have a good do do I FUCKIN H HIT MY HEAD ONA CHAIR FROM LAUGHING TOO HARD AT THIS FUCKING POST This post is too good. I once tried to say have a nice day or have a good day to a customer and said Have a nude gay. Still haven't recovered. OOC: i get really used to working nights or days at my work so i'm often jumbled between "have a nice night and have a good day" so often it comes out as have a nice neigh or have a good date or occasionally even have a night die When I interviewed for my lab position I tried to ask how much I would have to handle the mice and rats but I was nervous so l actually said rice and mats" instead At DnD my friends and I were eating snacks, like you do. We had some chips and some beef jerky and some other stu Now one of my friends is a vegetarian, and he was steering clear of most of the meat products. Out of the corner of my eye I see my other pal offer him a bag of what I ASSUMED was jerky since that's what they were eating before- As I turned to stop him from eating "meat-what I started to say was "oh no but finished with "no dont INSTEADi wound up screaming "ODIN and crushing the harmless chip in my friends hand A friend who worked in retail once told me that their manager wanted them to respond to a thank you with "it's my pleasure instead of You're welcome and my friend messed it up and said You're my pleasure When I was sixteen, I was a lifeguard at the YMCA and you could shortcut through the pool to get to the basketbal court. A lot of hyped up kids would pass through and run on the slippery tile, so l'd have to tell them to stop. Once, I was about to yell, "DONT RUN," and tried to change it to "WALK at the last second but I ended up just bellowing "RUNI at a couple of preteens who did in fact, make for the door like they were in a horror movie Found this old thread with new stories in it. I hope people keep adding more.
Apparently, Beef, and Candy: envwadams
 today at work i let
 someone into a dressing
 room and they said
 thanks" and half of me
 tried to say you're
 welcome and the other
 half tried to say "no
 problem and i ended up
 saying your problem
 this post had me in tears
 I was hoping the notes would be full
 of similar stories, but they're not, so
 I'll add my story for anyone else
 ooking for more laughs
 I had to go to a library to pay a fee
 and I was practicing in the car
 between "I have to pay a fine and "I
 have to pay a fee and I walked in
 and firmily stated "I have to pee and
 slapped a five dollar bill on the
 counter (the fee was like ten cents),
 and walked out. This was like three
 years ago and I still haven't been
 back
 My friend was driving and we were
 almost past our turnoff so I tried to say
 quick" and tast at the same time and
 l ended up screaming QUACK which
 ended up with him judging me very
 hard and missing the turn
 Recently someone in class asked me how
 was doing and I started off saying I was
 good but switched to I'm okay in the middle
 and ended up saying I'm gay
 Which, whille kind of accurate, was not
 what I meant to announce to my
 classmate
 This Halloween I was handing out candy and
 a child said trick or treat and I smilled gave
 them their candy and apparently my mouth
 betrayed me and I said "Merry Christmas" and
 proceeded to sit down and look up to the sky
 for answers while their mother laughed at me
 D)
 I was swtching between "Bye Deanna"
 and "Goodbye and I ended up saying "Go Die
 Sometimes I try to say "I fucking love you but t
 comes out in the wrong order and then everyone's
 When I first started my coffee shop job, I was st
 getting used to greeting customers as they came in the
 door. A man walked in, and in the jumble of trying to
 say, "How are you doing? and "What's up?" i ended up
 demanding "what are you doing here?r
 something really cool happened once at the office and i
 started to say "im so amazed but halfway through my
 mind changed to "that's really amazing and i just ended
 up saying Tm really so amazing
 one time i was out in the woods in the spring when the birds
 were just beginning to come out again and i went to say "im
 so pumped for the birds and iIm so hyped for the birds" and
 instead i said "I'm so humped for birds
 Once I was walking to school and there was a guy walking his
 dog and the dog came to me and started sniting me and I was in
 such a good mood and when I passed by his owner I wanted to
 say like "hello" or good morning" or cute dog" or something like
 that and I ended up looking up at him, smiling real big, and
 saying thank you'
 I was at the convenience store and I was going to buy a drink, but i
 dropped my keys and the drink when I got to the register so I got
 caught between "my drinkr and "my keys" and ended up screaming
 MY KINK
 I walked up to this register,in a target. When the cashier finished
 checking me out she sald have a good day, and i wanted to say "You
 have a good day" and "You too so it came out "You have a good do
 do
 I FUCKIN H HIT MY HEAD ONA CHAIR FROM LAUGHING TOO HARD
 AT THIS FUCKING POST
 This post is too good. I once tried to say have a nice day or have a good day
 to a customer and said Have a nude gay. Still haven't recovered.
 OOC: i get really used to working nights or days at my work so i'm often jumbled
 between "have a nice night and have a good day" so often it comes out
 as have a nice neigh or have a good date or occasionally even have a night
 die
 When I interviewed for my lab position I tried to ask how much I would have to
 handle the mice and rats but I was nervous so l actually said rice and mats" instead
 At DnD my friends and I were eating snacks, like you do. We had some chips and
 some beef jerky and some other stu
 Now one of my friends is a vegetarian, and he was steering clear of most of the meat
 products.
 Out of the corner of my eye I see my other pal offer him a bag of what I ASSUMED
 was jerky since that's what they were eating before-
 As I turned to stop him from eating "meat-what I started to say was "oh no but
 finished with "no dont
 INSTEADi wound up screaming "ODIN and crushing the harmless chip in my friends
 hand
 A friend who worked in retail once told me that their manager wanted them to respond to a
 thank you with "it's my pleasure instead of You're welcome and my friend messed it up
 and said You're my pleasure
 When I was sixteen, I was a lifeguard at the YMCA and you could shortcut through the pool to
 get to the basketbal court. A lot of hyped up kids would pass through and run on the slippery
 tile, so l'd have to tell them to stop. Once, I was about to yell, "DONT RUN," and tried to
 change it to "WALK at the last second but I ended up just bellowing "RUNI at a couple of
 preteens who did in fact, make for the door like they were in a horror movie
Found this old thread with new stories in it. I hope people keep adding more.

Found this old thread with new stories in it. I hope people keep adding more.

Cum, Fuck You, and Fucking: 19 GIRLS REVEAL THE DIRTIEST THING THEIR PARTNER HAS SAID IN BED THAT GAVE THEM INSTANT TURN OFF 1. "Tm going to make you cum so hard you blackout." 2. (While he was going down on me and I was getting into it.) "Don't move. I'm just getting started." 3. "You taste so fucking good." 4. "Tm going to lose it you're so incredibly hot." 5·"I love how loud you are. Be louder." 6. "You're such a good girl. What can I say, I have a daddy kink. Not sorry." 7. "I can't wait to watch you cum." 8. "Lets wake up the neighbors with how loud we can be," 9. "Please cum for me. Just like that..." 10. "Not yet. Not yet.' He makes me wait to finish until he can look at me while l orgasm. It always makes it so much more intense." 11."You're going to sit on my face until I'm done with you. 12. "Show me how you get yourself off. Then after, it's my turn." 13. "Crawl over here. Naked. Right now." 14. "Tm going to fill you up and then make you suck me dry and then maybe, just maybe, I'll let you have a turn. We're into power play-it was so hot." 15. "Which way do you want me to fuck you tonight?" 16. "Tm going to fuck you so hard that you'll cum until you can't remember your own name." 17. "You're such a dirty little slut. You're my dirty little slut." 18. "I don't think I can control myself once I'm inside you." 19. "What can I do to make you cum? Because that's all I want to do." I wonder if some of these actually work on some girls
Cum, Fuck You, and Fucking: 19 GIRLS
 REVEAL THE DIRTIEST THING THEIR PARTNER
 HAS SAID IN BED
 THAT GAVE THEM INSTANT TURN OFF
 1. "Tm going to make you cum so hard you
 blackout."
 2. (While he was going down on me and I was
 getting into it.) "Don't move. I'm just getting
 started."
 3. "You taste so fucking good."
 4. "Tm going to lose it you're so incredibly hot."
 5·"I love how loud you are. Be louder."
 6. "You're such a good girl. What can I say, I have a
 daddy kink. Not sorry."
 7. "I can't wait to watch you cum."
 8. "Lets wake up the neighbors with how loud we
 can be,"
 9. "Please cum for me. Just like that..."
 10. "Not yet. Not yet.' He makes me wait to finish
 until he can look at me while l orgasm. It always
 makes it so much more intense."
 11."You're going to sit on my face until I'm done
 with you.
 12. "Show me how you get yourself off. Then after,
 it's my turn."
 13. "Crawl over here. Naked. Right now."
 14. "Tm going to fill you up and then make you
 suck me dry and then maybe, just maybe, I'll let
 you have a turn. We're into power play-it was so
 hot."
 15. "Which way do you want me to fuck you
 tonight?"
 16. "Tm going to fuck you so hard that you'll cum
 until you can't remember your own name."
 17. "You're such a dirty little slut. You're my dirty
 little slut."
 18. "I don't think I can control myself once I'm
 inside you."
 19. "What can I do to make you cum? Because
 that's all I want to do."
I wonder if some of these actually work on some girls

I wonder if some of these actually work on some girls

Apparently, Bitch, and Boo: kaylumjust-me-bruh tom-nippleston The people in the apartment below me are playing Never Have I Ever" and Im smoking on my porch creeping on their game tom-nippleston Guy 1: Never have I ever INTIONALLY walked in on my parents having sex Gal 1: fuck you brandon! It wasn't intentional! I didn't know what they were doing!!! Brandon (Guy 1): Shut up Katy no one is THAT oblivious take your drink tom-nippleston Katy: Never have I ever LOST a wet tshirt contest Good job Katy. You do you. Proud of you boo) tom-nippleston Gal 2: Never have I ever pierced my genitals Brandon: IT WAS IN FOR LIKE A MONTH! Katy Whatever bitch, take a drink you Prince Albert having douche Brandon: I'm being singled out I hate you all tom-nippleston Guy 2: Never have l ever had a threescone ause Guy 2: WHAT THE FUCK KATY?1?1?1? Katy Shut up Andrew it's before we even knew each other this was years ago!!! ause Andrew: And you won't even watch porn with me (the family is disintegrating) tom-nippleston Brandon: Never have I ever been in such a confrontational game of Never Have I Ever People saying cheers] (stop fighting guys you're tearing this family apar.....) tom-nippleston Andrew: Never have I ever had sex WITH a piece of food ause Andrew: Dude Brandon: Dude Katy Dude omg Gal 2: what? Omg EVERY girl has practiced giving head with a banana! Katy: Um no Ester. SOME of us just practice on dicks Ester what the fuck though. Whatever (Don't let them kink shame you Ester I still love you) tom-nippleston #TeamE ster tom-nippleston Andrew is testing a banana. Go for it andrew. Explore your wild side #TeamE ster #TeamKink tom-nippleston Brandon: Never have I ever been called a fuckboy Katy and Andrew: TO YOUR FACE Brandon: Go fuck a banana Andrew #TeamBananaFucking tom-nippleston Ester. Never have l ever had a crush on a family member Brandon: [random fumbling noises Katy: brandon omg ew Andrew: yeah man come the fuck on wtf man its 2016 Brandon: SHE WAS MY COUSIN AND I WAS 13 IT'S NOT LIKE SHE WAS MY SISTER AND IT WAS JUST A CRUSH NOTHING HAPPENED Ester. methinks thou dost protest too fucking much Brandon: NEVER TELLING YOU SHIT AGAIN Andrew: Chug your drink, Sir IncestsALot Brandon: Chug a fucking banana Andrew #TeamBananaFucking #TeamWhatTheFuckBrandon tom-nippleston Katy and Andrew have gone home in an Uber to apparently sex it up. Alway use a designated driver, kids. And always put protection on your Banana #TeamE ster hotmenandotherdistractions This is spectacular Source: tom-nippleston 56,093 notes love how thoughout the text you learn their names Never have I ever
Apparently, Bitch, and Boo: kaylumjust-me-bruh
 tom-nippleston
 The people in the apartment below me are playing Never Have I Ever" and Im
 smoking on my porch creeping on their game
 tom-nippleston
 Guy 1: Never have I ever INTIONALLY walked in on my parents having sex
 Gal 1: fuck you brandon! It wasn't intentional! I didn't know what they were
 doing!!!
 Brandon (Guy 1): Shut up Katy no one is THAT oblivious take your drink
 tom-nippleston
 Katy: Never have I ever LOST a wet tshirt contest
 Good job Katy. You do you. Proud of you boo)
 tom-nippleston
 Gal 2: Never have I ever pierced my genitals
 Brandon: IT WAS IN FOR LIKE A MONTH!
 Katy Whatever bitch, take a drink you Prince Albert having douche
 Brandon: I'm being singled out I hate you all
 tom-nippleston
 Guy 2: Never have l ever had a threescone
 ause
 Guy 2: WHAT THE FUCK KATY?1?1?1?
 Katy Shut up Andrew it's before we even knew each other this was years
 ago!!!
 ause
 Andrew: And you won't even watch porn with me
 (the family is disintegrating)
 tom-nippleston
 Brandon: Never have I ever been in such a confrontational game of Never Have
 I Ever
 People saying cheers]
 (stop fighting guys you're tearing this family apar.....)
 tom-nippleston
 Andrew: Never have I ever had sex WITH a piece of food
 ause
 Andrew: Dude
 Brandon: Dude
 Katy Dude omg
 Gal 2: what? Omg EVERY girl has practiced giving head with a banana!
 Katy: Um no Ester. SOME of us just practice on dicks
 Ester what the fuck though. Whatever
 (Don't let them kink shame you Ester I still love you)
 tom-nippleston
 #TeamE ster
 tom-nippleston
 Andrew is testing a banana. Go for it andrew. Explore your wild side
 #TeamE ster #TeamKink
 tom-nippleston
 Brandon: Never have I ever been called a fuckboy
 Katy and Andrew: TO YOUR FACE
 Brandon: Go fuck a banana Andrew
 #TeamBananaFucking
 tom-nippleston
 Ester. Never have l ever had a crush on a family member
 Brandon: [random fumbling noises
 Katy: brandon omg ew
 Andrew: yeah man come the fuck on wtf man its 2016
 Brandon: SHE WAS MY COUSIN AND I WAS 13 IT'S NOT LIKE SHE WAS MY
 SISTER AND IT WAS JUST A CRUSH NOTHING HAPPENED
 Ester. methinks thou dost protest too fucking much
 Brandon: NEVER TELLING YOU SHIT AGAIN
 Andrew: Chug your drink, Sir IncestsALot
 Brandon: Chug a fucking banana Andrew
 #TeamBananaFucking #TeamWhatTheFuckBrandon
 tom-nippleston
 Katy and Andrew have gone home in an Uber to apparently sex it up. Alway use
 a designated driver, kids. And always put protection on your Banana
 #TeamE ster
 hotmenandotherdistractions
 This is spectacular
 Source: tom-nippleston
 56,093 notes
 love how thoughout the text you learn their names

Never have I ever

Never have I ever

Cute, Definitely, and Snapchat: MOTHERs <p>I think Snapchat may have gotten their wires crossed between &ldquo;cute tribute to Mother&rsquo;s Day&rdquo; and &ldquo;definitely a kink&rdquo;</p>
Cute, Definitely, and Snapchat: MOTHERs
<p>I think Snapchat may have gotten their wires crossed between &ldquo;cute tribute to Mother&rsquo;s Day&rdquo; and &ldquo;definitely a kink&rdquo;</p>

I think Snapchat may have gotten their wires crossed between “cute tribute to Mother’s Day” and “definitely a kink”

Boner, Comfortable, and Curving: melswag69dontkillbirds+ 40,849IC dontkillbirds adiogrimshaw upnbanan littleartemis adiogrimshaw ten inch dick aka longer than my forearm i know there are some writers who follow me please take note I believe the average is 6 inches? The longest is 14, an he suffers dizziness when he gets a boner, and even though he's heterosexual, he can only have sex with men (or anally with women) as his cock can't fit in a vagina So writers, take note iesus h. christ I once had a boyfriend who was quite well-endowed, and that was some painful, annoying shit right there (especially with a selfish dude who didn't really think about that/blamed me for being "tiny," what the fuck). The average vagina is 3-4 inches deep, though some women may have a depth of 6-7 inches Of course, a lady's Sarlaac Pit is designed to accomodate rather large things. That does not, however, mean that it is comfortable or fun to have those large things in your hermetically-sealed shame basket, not to mention have it ramming repeatedly against your cervix. Ow fucking ow Contrary to popular belief, bigger is NOT ALWAYS BETTER A rectum can be between 5-7 inches deep. A pliable dildo could push past that, taking that sharp curve into the large intestine, if you're patient and flexible and you have a lot of lube at your disposal. And you don't mind things being in your INTESTINES, oh my God. A hard dick, however, that isn't so bendy, would be another story entirely So if you're shooting for realistic sex and your bottom isn't into pain, you may want to reconsider giving your top anything over 7-8 inches of dick. 10+ inches might sound awesome but like Communism, for most people at least, it's better in theory than it is in practice This very NSFW and TMI-imbued post brought to you by all the fucks I do not give Oh and if anyone accuses me of kink shaming I will find you and I will skin you ive learned a lot today omg i think the last of my innocence just got killed reading this hu mun Dicksomg-humor.tumblr.com
Boner, Comfortable, and Curving: melswag69dontkillbirds+
 40,849IC
 dontkillbirds
 adiogrimshaw
 upnbanan
 littleartemis
 adiogrimshaw
 ten inch dick aka longer than my
 forearm
 i know there are some writers who follow
 me
 please
 take note
 I believe the average is 6 inches? The longest
 is 14, an he suffers dizziness when he gets a
 boner, and even though he's heterosexual, he
 can only have sex with men (or anally with
 women) as his cock can't fit in a vagina
 So writers, take note
 iesus h. christ
 I once had a boyfriend who was quite well-endowed, and
 that was some painful, annoying shit right there
 (especially with a selfish dude who didn't really think
 about that/blamed me for being "tiny," what the
 fuck). The average vagina is 3-4 inches deep, though
 some women may have a depth of 6-7 inches
 Of course, a lady's Sarlaac Pit is designed to
 accomodate rather large things. That does not,
 however, mean that it is comfortable or fun to have
 those large things in your hermetically-sealed shame
 basket, not to mention have it ramming repeatedly
 against your cervix. Ow fucking ow
 Contrary to popular belief, bigger is NOT ALWAYS
 BETTER
 A rectum can be between 5-7 inches deep. A pliable
 dildo could push past that, taking that sharp curve into
 the large intestine, if you're patient and flexible and you
 have a lot of lube at your disposal. And you don't mind
 things being in your INTESTINES, oh my God. A hard
 dick, however, that isn't so bendy, would be another
 story entirely
 So if you're shooting for realistic sex and your bottom
 isn't into pain, you may want to reconsider giving your
 top anything over 7-8 inches of dick. 10+ inches might
 sound awesome but like Communism, for most people at
 least, it's better in theory than it is in practice
 This very NSFW and TMI-imbued post brought to you by
 all the fucks I do not give
 Oh and if anyone accuses me of kink shaming I will find
 you and I will skin you
 ive learned a lot today omg
 i think the last of my innocence just got killed reading this
 hu
 mun
Dicksomg-humor.tumblr.com

Dicksomg-humor.tumblr.com

Family, Fanfiction, and Fubar: HOME MESSAGE ARCHIVE CREDITS TAGS SUBMIT 51 minutes ago 1 note Blog dedicated to collect and organize SnK fanfiction for virtually any pairing. You can always share your favorite stories with me as a recommendation for them to get posted. This is a guide to our tags and a how-to-use ous search engine for you to find fanfics easier. Any questions? Our ask is always open. SUPPRESSION http://archiveofourown.org/works/954974 "T'm sure you 're aware, butI" Eren swallowed thickly. T have feelings for you. I won't give them a name like love, but I want you to now I care for you, romantically. I dont ask for anything in returm, and I now you have your hands full right now with the new recruits, but I see the bags under your eyes, hear the heavy sighs you breath. When you think no ons is looking, I see the pain and stress that you allow into your eyes, even fir's just a fraction of a second, because I look, Corporal #fic rec #Ereri #mature #one shot #series: wip #under: 5k #canon #fluff #asexual!Levi #char. Hanu #mantalouise reblog 2 hours ago+ 1 note Google" Custom Search MARKS http://archiveofourown.org/works/977604 "I'1l need a name." "I'm surprised if there's still a man in Sina that doesn't know my name The medic gave him a look, "Your family name. And your birthplace." Clearly, he 1/3 was a man of saintly patience. "I don't" because he really didn't know. Or rather, he didn't remember. Levi bit his tongue, and he wished that the medic would stop staring. "My family name is Smith. But I don't have family. I was probably borm in Trost.'" #fic rec #Eruri #mature #one shot #under: 5k #canon divergence #char: Hanji #asuralucier reblog TAGS LIST This is not a complete list, as for I just started this blog a few days ago. I will be updating this page as constantly as can. If you notice there's something wrong with the tag for one of the pairings it..feeeb eeouse tt\etst thin th teamet please let me know! Google" Custom Search Search BACK MESSAGE CREDIT WORD COUNT 1K 1-5K 30K 10-20K 20-50K RATING STATUS COMPLETE WORK IN PROGRESS ONE SHOT SERIES: WIP SERIES: COMPLETE G/PG NC-17 WANNA EAT YOU CHARACTERS LEVI YMIR MIKASA ACKERMAN ARMIN ARLELT MARCO BODT REINER BRAUN YMIR/CHRISTA MIKASA/ANNIE ERWIN/LEVI EREN/LEV EREN/ARMIN JEAN/ARMIN KINKS BDSM BEGGING/OVERSTIMULATION BITING ORAL SEX CROSS DRESSING DIRTY TALK DUB-CON/NON-CON FINGERING FROTTAGE SASHA BRA US BERTHOLDT FUBAR BERTHOLDT/REINER EREN JAEGER BERTHOLDT/REINER/ANNIE 1K 1-5K 5-10K G/PG COMPLETE WORK IN PROGRESS ONE SHOT SERIES: WIP SERIES: COMPLETE PG-13 NC-17 20-50K CHARACTERS LEVI YMIR MIKASA ACKERMAN ARMIN ARLELT MARCO BODT REINER BRAUN SASHA BRAUS BERTHOLDT FUBAR EREN JAEGER JEAN KIRSCHTEIN ANNIE LEONHARDT CHRISTA RENZ ERWIN-SMITH CONNIE SPRINGER PAIRINGS YMIR/CHRISTA MIKASA/ANNIE ERWIN/LEVI EREN/LEVI EREN/ARMIN JEAN/ARMIN JEAN/MARCO BERTHOLDT/REINER BERTHOLDT/REINER/ANNIE EREN/MIKASA JEAN/MIKASA LEVI/MIKASA LEVI/HANJI KINKS BDSM BEGGING/OVERSTIMULATION BITING ORAL SEX CROSS DRESSING DIRTY TALK DUB-CON/NON-CON FINGERING FROTTAGE HURT/COMFORT PHONE SEX MASTURBATION RIMMING SOMNOPHILIA SIZE KINK THREESOME WANNA EAT YOU WORLD CANON CANON: MANGA CANON DIVERGENCE AU AN solitaire-circus: shingekishippingsquad: The Official SnK Library is a blog that houses fanfiction of any pairing in the Shingeki no Kyojin fandom. You can share your favorite stories and search for a fanfic according to your tastes: pairing, character, rating, work count, status and even kinks (THIS FEATURE IS SO IMPORTANT YOU HAVE NO IDEA). The blog was recently created, so there isn’t many fanfics there yet, but make sure to check it out and give it a follow! It’s going to be so helpful when you get obsessed with a new ship (or when you need to find stories of your non popular otp *quietly sobs*) Does this mean I won’t have to keep losing links to my favourite fics? :D
Family, Fanfiction, and Fubar: HOME MESSAGE ARCHIVE CREDITS TAGS SUBMIT
 51 minutes ago
 1 note
 Blog dedicated to collect
 and organize SnK
 fanfiction for virtually any
 pairing. You can always
 share your favorite stories
 with me as a
 recommendation for them
 to get posted.
 This is a guide to our tags
 and a how-to-use ous
 search engine for you to
 find fanfics easier. Any
 questions? Our ask is
 always open.
 SUPPRESSION
 http://archiveofourown.org/works/954974
 "T'm sure you 're aware, butI" Eren swallowed thickly. T have feelings for you. I won't give
 them a name like love, but I want you to now I care for you, romantically. I dont ask for
 anything in returm, and I now you have your hands full right now with the new recruits, but I
 see the bags under your eyes, hear the heavy sighs you breath. When you think no ons is looking,
 I see the pain and stress that you allow into your eyes, even fir's just a fraction of a second,
 because I look, Corporal
 #fic rec #Ereri #mature #one shot #series: wip #under: 5k #canon #fluff #asexual!Levi
 #char. Hanu #mantalouise
 reblog
 2 hours ago+ 1 note
 Google" Custom Search
 MARKS
 http://archiveofourown.org/works/977604
 "I'1l need a name."
 "I'm surprised if there's still a man in Sina that doesn't know my name
 The medic gave him a look, "Your family name. And your birthplace." Clearly, he
 1/3
 was a man of saintly patience.
 "I don't" because he really didn't know. Or rather, he didn't remember. Levi bit
 his tongue, and he wished that the medic would stop staring.
 "My family name is Smith. But I don't have family. I was probably borm in Trost.'"
 #fic rec #Eruri #mature #one shot #under: 5k #canon divergence #char: Hanji
 #asuralucier
 reblog

 TAGS LIST
 This is not a complete list, as for I just started this blog a few days ago. I will be
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solitaire-circus:

shingekishippingsquad:

The Official SnK Library is a blog that houses fanfiction of any pairing in the Shingeki no Kyojin fandom. You can share your favorite stories and search for a fanfic according to your tastes: pairing, character, rating, work count, status and even kinks (THIS FEATURE IS SO IMPORTANT YOU HAVE NO IDEA).
The blog was recently created, so there isn’t many fanfics there yet, but make sure to check it out and give it a follow! It’s going to be so helpful when you get obsessed with a new ship (or when you need to find stories of your non popular otp *quietly sobs*)

Does this mean I won’t have to keep losing links to my favourite fics? :D

solitaire-circus: shingekishippingsquad: The Official SnK Library is a blog that houses fanfiction of any pairing in the Shingeki no Kyoji...

Boner, Butt, and Comfortable: rawritsjacobthepuppy: carry-on-my-wayward-butt: deanisanactualprincess: dontkillbirds: miau-is-me: luvr4photography: radiogrimshaw: annathemoony: soupnbananaz: littleartemis: radiogrimshaw: radiogrimshaw: ten inch dick aka longer than my forearm i know there are some writers who follow me please take note I believe the average is 6 inches? The longest is 14, an he suffers dizziness when he gets a boner, and even though he’s heterosexual, he can only have sex with men (or anally with women) as his cock can’t fit in a vagina. So writers, take note. jesus h. christ I once had a boyfriend who was quite well-endowed, and that was some painful, annoying shit right there (especially with a selfish dude who didn’t really think about that/blamed me for being “tiny,” what the fuck). The average vagina is 3-4 inches deep, though some women may have a depth of 6-7 inches. Of course, a lady’s Sarlaac Pit is designed to accomodate rather large things. That does not, however, mean that it is comfortable or fun to have those large things in your hermetically-sealed shame basket, not to mention have it ramming repeatedly against your cervix. Ow fucking ow. Contrary to popular belief, bigger is NOT ALWAYS BETTER. A rectum can be between 5-7 inches deep. A pliable dildo could push past that, taking that sharp curve into the large intestine, if you’re patient and flexible and you have a lot of lube at your disposal. And you don’t mind things being in your INTESTINES, oh my God. A hard dick, however, that isn’t so bendy, would be another story entirely. So if you’re shooting for realistic sex and your bottom isn’t into pain, you may want to reconsider giving your top anything over 7-8 inches of dick. 10+ inches might sound awesome but like Communism, for most people at least, it’s better in theory than it is in practice. This very NSFW and TMI-imbued post brought to you by all the fucks I do not give. Oh and if anyone accuses me of kink shaming I will find you and I will skin you. ive learned a lot today omg i think the last of my innocence just got killed reading this #huge dicks are like communism I reblogged this yesterday but I just have to reblogg again for ^ #huge dicks are like communism can someone please put that on a shirt you’re welcome #huge dicks are like communismI CANNOT BREATHE OMG IM DYING NOW
Boner, Butt, and Comfortable: rawritsjacobthepuppy:

carry-on-my-wayward-butt:

deanisanactualprincess:

dontkillbirds:

miau-is-me:

luvr4photography:

radiogrimshaw:

annathemoony:

soupnbananaz:


littleartemis:


radiogrimshaw:


radiogrimshaw:


ten inch dick aka longer than my forearm


i know there are some writers who follow me
please
take note


I believe the average is 6 inches? The longest is 14, an he suffers dizziness when he gets a boner, and even though he’s heterosexual, he can only have sex with men (or anally with women) as his cock can’t fit in a vagina.
So writers, take note.


jesus h. christ


I once had a boyfriend who was quite well-endowed, and that was some painful, annoying shit right there (especially with a selfish dude who didn’t really think about that/blamed me for being “tiny,” what the fuck). The average vagina is 3-4 inches deep, though some women may have a depth of 6-7 inches.
Of course, a lady’s Sarlaac Pit is designed to accomodate rather large things. That does not, however, mean that it is comfortable or fun to have those large things in your hermetically-sealed shame basket, not to mention have it ramming repeatedly against your cervix. Ow fucking ow.
Contrary to popular belief, bigger is NOT ALWAYS BETTER.
A rectum can be between 5-7 inches deep. A pliable dildo could push past that, taking that sharp curve into the large intestine, if you’re patient and flexible and you have a lot of lube at your disposal. And you don’t mind things being in your INTESTINES, oh my God. A hard dick, however, that isn’t so bendy, would be another story entirely.
So if you’re shooting for realistic sex and your bottom isn’t into pain, you may want to reconsider giving your top anything over 7-8 inches of dick. 10+ inches might sound awesome but like Communism, for most people at least, it’s better in theory than it is in practice.
This very NSFW and TMI-imbued post brought to you by all the fucks I do not give.
Oh and if anyone accuses me of kink shaming I will find you and I will skin you.

ive learned a lot today omg

i think the last of my innocence just got killed reading this

#huge dicks are like communism

I reblogged this yesterday but I just have to reblogg again for ^

#huge dicks are like communism
can someone please put that on a shirt

you’re welcome



#huge dicks are like communismI CANNOT BREATHE OMG IM DYING NOW

rawritsjacobthepuppy: carry-on-my-wayward-butt: deanisanactualprincess: dontkillbirds: miau-is-me: luvr4photography: radiogrimshaw: a...

Mrw, Old, and Dark: MRW In my old age, I have a kink for hiding in dark places and watching bobble-heads go at it
Mrw, Old, and Dark: MRW In my old age, I have a kink for hiding in dark places and watching bobble-heads go at it

MRW In my old age, I have a kink for hiding in dark places and watching bobble-heads go at it