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Krogan: tuchanka-tales: Here have a Thumb up Krogan to cheer you up~ heheh~
Krogan: tuchanka-tales:

Here have a Thumb up Krogan to cheer you up~ heheh~

tuchanka-tales: Here have a Thumb up Krogan to cheer you up~ heheh~

Krogan: its tunny how science iction unverses s0 oten treat humans as a boring defaut everyman species or even the weakest and I want to see a scit universe where we're actualy considered one of the mare hideous and territying species How do we know our saiva and skin ois wouidn't be utra-corrosive to most other races? What if we strongest vocal chords and can paralye or ka the screaming at them? what if most sentient lite in the universe turns out to be vegetable-like and ives in fear of us rare animat races who can move so quicly and chew shit up with our Like that old story theyre made of meat onty HOLY SHT THEY EAT CAPSACIN FOR FUN YOU GUYS IHEARD A HUMAN ONCE ATE AN A HUMAN CAN KEEP FIGHTING FOR HOURS EVEN humans are a proud warrior race weh a pantheon of bloody gods Ram-Bo, Schwarzenegger, etc REMOVING A LIMB WLL NOT FATALLY INCAPACITATE HUMANS ALWAYS DESTROY THE HEAD WARNING HUMANS CAN DETECT YOU EVEN AT NIGHT BY TRACKING VIBRATIONS THROUGH THE WARNING HUMANS CAN REPRODUCE AT A RATE OF 1 PER SPACEYEAR DESTROY INFESTATIONS IMMEDIATELY THE HUMAN MOUTH HAS OVER THIRTY OUTCROPS OF BONE AND POWERFUL JAW HUMAN BITES CAN BE FATALLY INFECTIOUS EVEN TO OTHER HUMANS WARNTIG HUMANS CAN AND WILL USE IMPROMSED WEAPONS SEE CLASSIFIED DATA HUMANS CAN PROJECT BIOWEAPONS FROM ALMOST EVERY ORIFICE ON THEIR BOOY 0O OH GOO THE HUMANS FIGURED OUT DOOR HANDLES OH GOD OH GO0 More senously, humans do have a number of advantages even among Terrestrial life Our endurance shock resistance, and abiity to recover trom injury is absurdy high compared to amost any other animal we often use the phrase heathy as a horse to connote heartiness-but compared to a human, a horse is as fragie as spun glass There's mountng evidence that our primitive ancestors would hunt large prey simply by toiong逮at a walking pace. without sleep or rest un t ded of exhaustion, ts called pursuit predation The only other animal that can sort of keep up wth us? Dogs That's why we use them for hunting And even then it's only sort of) Now extrapolate that to a galaxy in which most sapient te did not evolive from hyper-speciaised pursut Our strength and speed is nothing to write home about, but we dont need to overpower or outrun you, we just need to ousast you- and by any other species standards, we just plain don t ge e Where a simple broken leg will cause most species to go into shock and die, we can recover from vitually any injury that's not atal Even traumatik dismemberment isnt necessarily a career-ending injury for a human We heal from injunes with edtreme rapioity recovenng in weeks trom wounds that would take others months or years to heal The resuits aren't pretty humans have hyperactive scar tissue. among our other suvival-onented trats-bu ook at our We developed surgery centuries before developing even the most anesthetics or life support. in extermis, humans have been known to perform surgery on themselves- and survive Thanks to our extreme heartiness we regard as routine medica procedures what most other species would regard as inventive forms of murder We even perform radical surgery on ourselves for purely cosmetic n essence, wed be Space Orcs I do hope you realize Im going to be picking up this stuft and Our jaus have too many TEETH in them, so we developed a way O WELD METAL TO OUR TEETH and FORCE THE BONES IN OUR JAVV to restructure over the course of years to fit them back into shape and then we continue to wear metail in out mouths to keep them in place We formed cohabitative relationships with tny mamma's and insects we keep at bay from botnening us by death, often using ittle analouge traps And by god we will eat anything - We use borderline toxic peppers to season our tood e We expose ourselves to patentaly lethal solar radiation in the our skin e We risk hearing loss for the opportunity to see our favonte + We have a game where two peopie get into an enciosed area and hit each other untl time tuns outione of them pass out We willingly lurip 0ut ot planes with only a firey piece of cloth to prevent us trom splatering against the ground Our response to natural disasters is to just rebuild our buidings in the exact same places We climb mountains and risk treezing to death for bragging rights We invented dogs We took our one time predators and completely domesticated them On a planet ful of lons, tigers and bears, we managed to advance further and faster than any other species on the planet e Kingons and Krogan and Orcs aint got sht on us can we taik about how pursut predation is fucking tenlying it's one thing to face down a cheetah, which wil siam into you at 60 mph and break your neck its another thing to run very quickly to get away from a thing, only to have it just kind of show up to have it be intelligent enough to fgure out where you are by the fur and feather youve left behind, your tootprints and piss and sht, and then you think you've lost .it and you bed down for the night but THERE IT IS WAITING WHEN YOU WAKE UP and you spiti againt but it keeps folowing you always in the comer of your eye until you just de ok cov Sci-Fi, except humans are the scary cool aliens with unimaginable powers.
Krogan: its tunny how science iction unverses s0
 oten treat humans as a boring defaut
 everyman species or even the weakest and
 I want to see a scit universe where we're
 actualy considered one of the mare hideous
 and territying species
 How do we know our saiva and skin ois
 wouidn't be utra-corrosive to most other
 races? What if we
 strongest vocal chords and can paralye or ka
 the
 screaming at them? what if most sentient lite in
 the universe turns out to be vegetable-like and
 ives in fear of us rare animat races who can
 move so quicly and chew shit up with our
 Like that old story theyre made of meat onty
 HOLY SHT THEY EAT CAPSACIN FOR FUN
 YOU GUYS IHEARD A HUMAN ONCE ATE AN
 A HUMAN CAN KEEP FIGHTING FOR HOURS EVEN
 humans are a proud warrior race weh a pantheon
 of bloody gods Ram-Bo, Schwarzenegger, etc
 REMOVING A LIMB WLL NOT FATALLY
 INCAPACITATE HUMANS ALWAYS DESTROY THE
 HEAD
 WARNING HUMANS CAN DETECT YOU EVEN AT
 NIGHT BY TRACKING VIBRATIONS THROUGH THE
 WARNING HUMANS CAN REPRODUCE AT A
 RATE OF 1 PER SPACEYEAR DESTROY
 INFESTATIONS IMMEDIATELY
 THE HUMAN MOUTH HAS OVER THIRTY
 OUTCROPS OF BONE AND POWERFUL JAW
 HUMAN BITES CAN BE FATALLY INFECTIOUS
 EVEN TO OTHER HUMANS
 WARNTIG HUMANS CAN AND WILL USE
 IMPROMSED WEAPONS SEE CLASSIFIED DATA
 HUMANS CAN PROJECT BIOWEAPONS FROM
 ALMOST EVERY ORIFICE ON THEIR BOOY 0O
 OH GOO THE HUMANS FIGURED OUT DOOR
 HANDLES OH GOD OH GO0
 More senously, humans do have a number of
 advantages even among Terrestrial life Our endurance
 shock resistance, and abiity to recover trom injury is
 absurdy high compared to amost any other animal we
 often use the phrase heathy as a horse to connote
 heartiness-but compared to a human, a horse is as
 fragie as spun glass There's mountng evidence that
 our primitive ancestors would hunt large prey simply by
 toiong逮at a walking pace. without sleep or rest un
 t ded of exhaustion, ts called pursuit predation
 The only other animal that can sort of keep up wth us?
 Dogs That's why we use them for hunting And even
 then it's only sort of)
 Now extrapolate that to a galaxy in which most sapient
 te did not evolive from hyper-speciaised pursut
 Our strength and speed is nothing to write home
 about, but we dont need to overpower or outrun
 you, we just need to ousast you- and by any
 other species standards, we just plain don t ge
 e Where a simple broken leg will cause most
 species to go into shock and die, we can recover
 from
 vitually any injury that's not
 atal Even traumatik dismemberment isnt
 necessarily a career-ending injury for a human
 We heal from injunes with edtreme rapioity
 recovenng in weeks trom wounds that would take
 others months or years to heal The resuits aren't
 pretty humans have hyperactive scar tissue.
 among our other suvival-onented trats-bu
 ook at our
 We developed surgery centuries before
 developing even the most
 anesthetics or life support. in extermis, humans
 have been known to perform surgery on
 themselves- and survive Thanks to our
 extreme heartiness we regard as routine medica
 procedures what most other species would regard
 as inventive forms of murder We even perform
 radical surgery on ourselves for purely cosmetic
 n essence, wed be Space Orcs
 I do hope you realize Im going to be picking up this stuft and
 Our jaus have too many TEETH in them, so we developed a way
 O WELD METAL TO OUR TEETH and FORCE THE BONES IN
 OUR JAVV to restructure over the course of years to fit them back
 into shape and then we continue to wear metail in out mouths to
 keep them in place
 We formed cohabitative relationships with tny mamma's and
 insects we keep at bay from botnening us by death, often using
 ittle analouge traps
 And by god we will eat anything
 - We use borderline toxic peppers to season our tood
 e We expose ourselves to patentaly lethal solar radiation in the
 our skin
 e We risk hearing loss for the opportunity to see our favonte
 + We have a game where two peopie get into an enciosed area
 and hit each other untl time tuns outione of them pass out
 We willingly lurip 0ut ot planes with only a firey piece of cloth
 to prevent us trom splatering against the ground
 Our response to natural disasters is to just rebuild our buidings
 in the exact same places
 We climb mountains and risk treezing to death for bragging
 rights
 We invented dogs We took our one time predators and
 completely domesticated them
 On a planet ful of lons, tigers and bears, we managed to
 advance further and faster than any other species on the
 planet
 e
 Kingons and Krogan and Orcs aint got sht on us
 can we taik about how pursut predation is fucking tenlying
 it's one thing to face down a cheetah, which wil siam into you at 60 mph
 and break your neck
 its another thing to run very quickly to get away from a thing, only to have
 it just kind of
 show up
 to have it be intelligent enough to fgure out where you are by the fur and
 feather youve left behind, your tootprints and piss and sht, and then you
 think you've lost .it and you bed down for the night but THERE IT IS
 WAITING
 WHEN YOU WAKE UP
 and you spiti againt but it keeps folowing you always in the comer of
 your eye until you just
 de
 ok
 cov
Sci-Fi, except humans are the scary cool aliens with unimaginable powers.

Sci-Fi, except humans are the scary cool aliens with unimaginable powers.

Krogan: its tunny how science iction unverses s0 oten treat humans as a boring defaut everyman species or even the weakest and I want to see a scit universe where we're actualy considered one of the mare hideous and territying species How do we know our saiva and skin ois wouidn't be utra-corrosive to most other races? What if we strongest vocal chords and can paralye or ka the screaming at them? what if most sentient lite in the universe turns out to be vegetable-like and ives in fear of us rare animat races who can move so quicly and chew shit up with our Like that old story theyre made of meat onty HOLY SHT THEY EAT CAPSACIN FOR FUN YOU GUYS IHEARD A HUMAN ONCE ATE AN A HUMAN CAN KEEP FIGHTING FOR HOURS EVEN humans are a proud warrior race weh a pantheon of bloody gods Ram-Bo, Schwarzenegger, etc REMOVING A LIMB WLL NOT FATALLY INCAPACITATE HUMANS ALWAYS DESTROY THE HEAD WARNING HUMANS CAN DETECT YOU EVEN AT NIGHT BY TRACKING VIBRATIONS THROUGH THE WARNING HUMANS CAN REPRODUCE AT A RATE OF 1 PER SPACEYEAR DESTROY INFESTATIONS IMMEDIATELY THE HUMAN MOUTH HAS OVER THIRTY OUTCROPS OF BONE AND POWERFUL JAW HUMAN BITES CAN BE FATALLY INFECTIOUS EVEN TO OTHER HUMANS WARNTIG HUMANS CAN AND WILL USE IMPROMSED WEAPONS SEE CLASSIFIED DATA HUMANS CAN PROJECT BIOWEAPONS FROM ALMOST EVERY ORIFICE ON THEIR BOOY 0O OH GOO THE HUMANS FIGURED OUT DOOR HANDLES OH GOD OH GO0 More senously, humans do have a number of advantages even among Terrestrial life Our endurance shock resistance, and abiity to recover trom injury is absurdy high compared to amost any other animal we often use the phrase heathy as a horse to connote heartiness-but compared to a human, a horse is as fragie as spun glass There's mountng evidence that our primitive ancestors would hunt large prey simply by toiong逮at a walking pace. without sleep or rest un t ded of exhaustion, ts called pursuit predation The only other animal that can sort of keep up wth us? Dogs That's why we use them for hunting And even then it's only sort of) Now extrapolate that to a galaxy in which most sapient te did not evolive from hyper-speciaised pursut Our strength and speed is nothing to write home about, but we dont need to overpower or outrun you, we just need to ousast you- and by any other species standards, we just plain don t ge e Where a simple broken leg will cause most species to go into shock and die, we can recover from vitually any injury that's not atal Even traumatik dismemberment isnt necessarily a career-ending injury for a human We heal from injunes with edtreme rapioity recovenng in weeks trom wounds that would take others months or years to heal The resuits aren't pretty humans have hyperactive scar tissue. among our other suvival-onented trats-bu ook at our We developed surgery centuries before developing even the most anesthetics or life support. in extermis, humans have been known to perform surgery on themselves- and survive Thanks to our extreme heartiness we regard as routine medica procedures what most other species would regard as inventive forms of murder We even perform radical surgery on ourselves for purely cosmetic n essence, wed be Space Orcs I do hope you realize Im going to be picking up this stuft and Our jaus have too many TEETH in them, so we developed a way O WELD METAL TO OUR TEETH and FORCE THE BONES IN OUR JAVV to restructure over the course of years to fit them back into shape and then we continue to wear metail in out mouths to keep them in place We formed cohabitative relationships with tny mamma's and insects we keep at bay from botnening us by death, often using ittle analouge traps And by god we will eat anything - We use borderline toxic peppers to season our tood e We expose ourselves to patentaly lethal solar radiation in the our skin e We risk hearing loss for the opportunity to see our favonte + We have a game where two peopie get into an enciosed area and hit each other untl time tuns outione of them pass out We willingly lurip 0ut ot planes with only a firey piece of cloth to prevent us trom splatering against the ground Our response to natural disasters is to just rebuild our buidings in the exact same places We climb mountains and risk treezing to death for bragging rights We invented dogs We took our one time predators and completely domesticated them On a planet ful of lons, tigers and bears, we managed to advance further and faster than any other species on the planet e Kingons and Krogan and Orcs aint got sht on us can we taik about how pursut predation is fucking tenlying it's one thing to face down a cheetah, which wil siam into you at 60 mph and break your neck its another thing to run very quickly to get away from a thing, only to have it just kind of show up to have it be intelligent enough to fgure out where you are by the fur and feather youve left behind, your tootprints and piss and sht, and then you think you've lost .it and you bed down for the night but THERE IT IS WAITING WHEN YOU WAKE UP and you spiti againt but it keeps folowing you always in the comer of your eye until you just de ok cov Sci-Fi, except humans are the scary cool aliens with unimaginable powers.
Krogan: its tunny how science iction unverses s0
 oten treat humans as a boring defaut
 everyman species or even the weakest and
 I want to see a scit universe where we're
 actualy considered one of the mare hideous
 and territying species
 How do we know our saiva and skin ois
 wouidn't be utra-corrosive to most other
 races? What if we
 strongest vocal chords and can paralye or ka
 the
 screaming at them? what if most sentient lite in
 the universe turns out to be vegetable-like and
 ives in fear of us rare animat races who can
 move so quicly and chew shit up with our
 Like that old story theyre made of meat onty
 HOLY SHT THEY EAT CAPSACIN FOR FUN
 YOU GUYS IHEARD A HUMAN ONCE ATE AN
 A HUMAN CAN KEEP FIGHTING FOR HOURS EVEN
 humans are a proud warrior race weh a pantheon
 of bloody gods Ram-Bo, Schwarzenegger, etc
 REMOVING A LIMB WLL NOT FATALLY
 INCAPACITATE HUMANS ALWAYS DESTROY THE
 HEAD
 WARNING HUMANS CAN DETECT YOU EVEN AT
 NIGHT BY TRACKING VIBRATIONS THROUGH THE
 WARNING HUMANS CAN REPRODUCE AT A
 RATE OF 1 PER SPACEYEAR DESTROY
 INFESTATIONS IMMEDIATELY
 THE HUMAN MOUTH HAS OVER THIRTY
 OUTCROPS OF BONE AND POWERFUL JAW
 HUMAN BITES CAN BE FATALLY INFECTIOUS
 EVEN TO OTHER HUMANS
 WARNTIG HUMANS CAN AND WILL USE
 IMPROMSED WEAPONS SEE CLASSIFIED DATA
 HUMANS CAN PROJECT BIOWEAPONS FROM
 ALMOST EVERY ORIFICE ON THEIR BOOY 0O
 OH GOO THE HUMANS FIGURED OUT DOOR
 HANDLES OH GOD OH GO0
 More senously, humans do have a number of
 advantages even among Terrestrial life Our endurance
 shock resistance, and abiity to recover trom injury is
 absurdy high compared to amost any other animal we
 often use the phrase heathy as a horse to connote
 heartiness-but compared to a human, a horse is as
 fragie as spun glass There's mountng evidence that
 our primitive ancestors would hunt large prey simply by
 toiong逮at a walking pace. without sleep or rest un
 t ded of exhaustion, ts called pursuit predation
 The only other animal that can sort of keep up wth us?
 Dogs That's why we use them for hunting And even
 then it's only sort of)
 Now extrapolate that to a galaxy in which most sapient
 te did not evolive from hyper-speciaised pursut
 Our strength and speed is nothing to write home
 about, but we dont need to overpower or outrun
 you, we just need to ousast you- and by any
 other species standards, we just plain don t ge
 e Where a simple broken leg will cause most
 species to go into shock and die, we can recover
 from
 vitually any injury that's not
 atal Even traumatik dismemberment isnt
 necessarily a career-ending injury for a human
 We heal from injunes with edtreme rapioity
 recovenng in weeks trom wounds that would take
 others months or years to heal The resuits aren't
 pretty humans have hyperactive scar tissue.
 among our other suvival-onented trats-bu
 ook at our
 We developed surgery centuries before
 developing even the most
 anesthetics or life support. in extermis, humans
 have been known to perform surgery on
 themselves- and survive Thanks to our
 extreme heartiness we regard as routine medica
 procedures what most other species would regard
 as inventive forms of murder We even perform
 radical surgery on ourselves for purely cosmetic
 n essence, wed be Space Orcs
 I do hope you realize Im going to be picking up this stuft and
 Our jaus have too many TEETH in them, so we developed a way
 O WELD METAL TO OUR TEETH and FORCE THE BONES IN
 OUR JAVV to restructure over the course of years to fit them back
 into shape and then we continue to wear metail in out mouths to
 keep them in place
 We formed cohabitative relationships with tny mamma's and
 insects we keep at bay from botnening us by death, often using
 ittle analouge traps
 And by god we will eat anything
 - We use borderline toxic peppers to season our tood
 e We expose ourselves to patentaly lethal solar radiation in the
 our skin
 e We risk hearing loss for the opportunity to see our favonte
 + We have a game where two peopie get into an enciosed area
 and hit each other untl time tuns outione of them pass out
 We willingly lurip 0ut ot planes with only a firey piece of cloth
 to prevent us trom splatering against the ground
 Our response to natural disasters is to just rebuild our buidings
 in the exact same places
 We climb mountains and risk treezing to death for bragging
 rights
 We invented dogs We took our one time predators and
 completely domesticated them
 On a planet ful of lons, tigers and bears, we managed to
 advance further and faster than any other species on the
 planet
 e
 Kingons and Krogan and Orcs aint got sht on us
 can we taik about how pursut predation is fucking tenlying
 it's one thing to face down a cheetah, which wil siam into you at 60 mph
 and break your neck
 its another thing to run very quickly to get away from a thing, only to have
 it just kind of
 show up
 to have it be intelligent enough to fgure out where you are by the fur and
 feather youve left behind, your tootprints and piss and sht, and then you
 think you've lost .it and you bed down for the night but THERE IT IS
 WAITING
 WHEN YOU WAKE UP
 and you spiti againt but it keeps folowing you always in the comer of
 your eye until you just
 de
 ok
 cov
Sci-Fi, except humans are the scary cool aliens with unimaginable powers.

Sci-Fi, except humans are the scary cool aliens with unimaginable powers.

Krogan: Its funny how science fiction universes so offen treat humans as a boring, default everyman species or even the weakest and dumbest I want to see a sci universe where we're actually considered one of the more hideous and territying species. How do we know our saliva and skin oils wouldn't be ultra-corrosive to most other sapient races? What if we actually have the strongest vocal chords and can paralyze or kil the inhabitants of other worlds just by screaming at them? What if most sentient life in the universe turns out to be vegetable-like and lives in fear of us rare "animar races who can move so quickly and chew shit up with our teeth? Like that old story "they're made of meat," only we're scarier. HOLY SHIT THEY EAT CAPSAICIN FOR FUN YOU GUYS I HEARD A HUMAN ONCE ATE AN AIRPLANE A HUMAN CAN KEEP FIGHTING FOR HOURS EVEN AFTER YOU SHOOT IT humans are a proud warior race with a pantheon of bloody gods: Ram-Bo, Schwarzenegger, etc. REMOVING A LIMB WILL NOT FATALLY INCAPACITATE HUMANS: ALWAYS DESTROY THE HEAD WARNING. HUMANS CAN DETECT YOU EVEN AT NIGHT BY TRACKING VIBRATIONS THROUGH THE ATMOSPHERE WARNING HUMANS CAN REPRODUCE AT A RATE OF 1 PER SPACEYEAR. DESTROY INFESTATIONS IMMEDIATELY THE HUMAN MOUTH HAS OVER THIRTY OUTCROPS OF BONE AND POWERFUL JAW MUSCLES. HUMAN BITES CAN BE FATALLY INFECTIOUS EVEN TO OTHER HUMANS WARNING HUMANS CAN AND WILL USE IMPROVISED WEAPONS. SEE CLASSIFIED DATA LABELED J. CHAN HUMANS CAN PROJECT BIOWEAPONS FROM ALMOST EVERY ORIFICE ON THEIR BODY. DO NOT INHALE OH GOD THE HUMANS FIGURED OUT DOOR HANDLES OH GoD OH GOD More seriously, humans do have a number of advantages even among Terrestrial life. Our endurance. shock resistance, and abilty to recover trom injury is absurdiy high compared to almost any other animal. We offen use the phrase "healthy as a horse" to connote heartiness - but compared to a human, a horse is as fragile as spun glass There's mounting evidence that our primitive ancestors would hunt large prey simply by following it at a walking pace, without sleep or rest, until it died of exhaustion: It's called pursuit predation. Basically, we're the Terminator. (The only other animal that can sort of keep up with us? Dogs. That's why we use them for hunting. And even then, It's only "sort of) Now extrapolate that to a galary in which most sapient Ite did not evolve from hyper-specialised pursut predators • Our strength and speed is nothing to write home about, but we don't need to overpower or outrun you We just need to outiast you - and by any other species' standards, we just plain don't get tired • Where a simple broken leg will cause most species to go into shock and die, we can recover from virtually any injury that's not immediately fatal. Even traumatic dismemberment isn't necessarily a career-ending injury for a human. • We heal from injuries with extreme rapidity. recovering in weeks from wounds that would take others months or years to heal. The results aren't pretty - humans have hyperactive scar tissue. among our other survival-oriented trats - but they're highly functional. • Speaking of scarring, look at our medical science. We developed surgery centuries before developing even the most rudimentary anesthetics or life support. In extermis, humans have been known to perform surgery on themselves - and survive. Thanks to our extreme heartiness, we regard as routine medical procedures what most other species would regard as inventive forms of murder. We even perform radical surgery on ourselves for purely cosmetic reasons uhn in essence, we'd be Space Orcs I do hope you realize I'm going to be picking up this stufft and running with it right? Our jaws have too many TEETH in them so we developed a way to WELD METAL TO OUR TEETH and FORCE THE BONES IN OUR JAW to restructure over the course of years to fit them back into shape, and then we continue to wear metal in out mouths to keep them in place We formed cohabitative relationships with tiny mammals and insects we keep at bay from bothering us by death, offen using ittle analouge traps. And by god, we will eat anything • We use borderline toxic peppers to season our food • We expose ourselves to potentially lethal solar radiation in the pursuit of darkening our skin • We risk heanng loss for the opportunity to see our favonte musicians live • We have a game where two people get into an enclosed area and hit each other until time runs outione of them pass out • We wilingly jump out of planes with only a fimsy piece of cioth to prevent us from splattering against the ground. • Our response to natural disasters is to just rebuild our buildings in the exact same places. • We climb mountains and risk freezing to death for bragging rights • We invented dogs. We took our one time predators and completely domesticated them • On a planet full of lions, tigers and bears, we managed to advance further and faster than any other species on the Planet Klingons and Krogan and Orcs ain't got shit on us can we talk about how pursuit predation is fucking territying It's one thing to face down a cheetah, which will slam into you at 60 mph and break your neck It's another thing to run very quickly to get away from a thing, only to have it just kind of show up to have it be intelligent enough to figure out where you are by the fur and feather you've left behind, your footprints and piss and shit, and then you think you've lost it and you bed down for the night but THERE IT IS WAITING WHEN YOU WAKE UP and you spit! againt but it keeps following you. atways in the corner of your eye. until you just die we are scary motherfuckers ok What if we were the monsters?advice-animal.tumblr.com
Krogan: Its funny how science fiction universes so
 offen treat humans as a boring, default
 everyman species or even the weakest and
 dumbest
 I want to see a sci
 universe where we're
 actually considered one of the more hideous
 and territying species.
 How do we know our saliva and skin oils
 wouldn't be ultra-corrosive to most other
 sapient races? What if we actually have the
 strongest vocal chords and can paralyze or kil
 the inhabitants of other worlds just by
 screaming at them? What if most sentient life in
 the universe turns out to be vegetable-like and
 lives in fear of us rare "animar races who can
 move so quickly and chew shit up with our
 teeth?
 Like that old story "they're made of meat," only
 we're scarier.
 HOLY SHIT THEY EAT CAPSAICIN FOR FUN
 YOU GUYS I HEARD A HUMAN ONCE ATE AN
 AIRPLANE
 A HUMAN CAN KEEP FIGHTING FOR HOURS EVEN
 AFTER YOU SHOOT IT
 humans are a proud warior race with a pantheon
 of bloody gods: Ram-Bo, Schwarzenegger, etc.
 REMOVING A LIMB WILL NOT FATALLY
 INCAPACITATE HUMANS: ALWAYS DESTROY THE
 HEAD
 WARNING. HUMANS CAN DETECT YOU EVEN AT
 NIGHT BY TRACKING VIBRATIONS THROUGH THE
 ATMOSPHERE
 WARNING HUMANS CAN REPRODUCE AT A
 RATE OF 1 PER SPACEYEAR. DESTROY
 INFESTATIONS IMMEDIATELY
 THE HUMAN MOUTH HAS OVER THIRTY
 OUTCROPS OF BONE AND POWERFUL JAW
 MUSCLES.
 HUMAN BITES CAN BE FATALLY INFECTIOUS
 EVEN TO OTHER HUMANS
 WARNING HUMANS CAN AND WILL USE
 IMPROVISED WEAPONS. SEE CLASSIFIED DATA
 LABELED J. CHAN
 HUMANS CAN PROJECT BIOWEAPONS FROM
 ALMOST EVERY ORIFICE ON THEIR BODY. DO
 NOT INHALE
 OH GOD THE HUMANS FIGURED OUT DOOR
 HANDLES OH GoD OH GOD
 More seriously, humans do have a number of
 advantages even among Terrestrial life. Our endurance.
 shock resistance, and abilty to recover trom injury is
 absurdiy high compared to almost any other animal. We
 offen use the phrase "healthy as a horse" to connote
 heartiness - but compared to a human, a horse is as
 fragile as spun glass There's mounting evidence that
 our primitive ancestors would hunt large prey simply by
 following it at a walking pace, without sleep or rest, until
 it died of exhaustion: It's called pursuit predation.
 Basically, we're the Terminator.
 (The only other animal that can sort of keep up with us?
 Dogs. That's why we use them for hunting. And even
 then, It's only "sort of)
 Now extrapolate that to a galary in which most sapient
 Ite did not evolve from hyper-specialised pursut
 predators
 • Our strength and speed is nothing to write home
 about, but we don't need to overpower or outrun
 you We just need to outiast you - and by any
 other species' standards, we just plain don't get
 tired
 • Where a simple broken leg will cause most
 species to go into shock and die, we can recover
 from virtually any injury that's not immediately
 fatal. Even traumatic dismemberment isn't
 necessarily a career-ending injury for a human.
 • We heal from injuries with extreme rapidity.
 recovering in weeks from wounds that would take
 others months or years to heal. The results aren't
 pretty - humans have hyperactive scar tissue.
 among our other survival-oriented trats - but
 they're highly functional.
 • Speaking of scarring, look at our medical science.
 We developed surgery centuries before
 developing even the most rudimentary
 anesthetics or life support. In extermis, humans
 have been known to perform surgery on
 themselves - and survive. Thanks to our
 extreme heartiness, we regard as routine medical
 procedures what most other species would regard
 as inventive forms of murder. We even perform
 radical surgery on ourselves for purely cosmetic
 reasons
 uhn
 in essence, we'd be Space Orcs
 I do hope you realize I'm going to be picking up this stufft and
 running with it right?
 Our jaws have too many TEETH in them so we developed a way
 to WELD METAL TO OUR TEETH and FORCE THE BONES IN
 OUR JAW to restructure over the course of years to fit them back
 into shape, and then we continue to wear metal in out mouths to
 keep them in place
 We formed cohabitative relationships with tiny mammals and
 insects we keep at bay from bothering us by death, offen using
 ittle analouge traps.
 And by god, we will eat anything
 • We use borderline toxic peppers to season our food
 • We expose ourselves to potentially lethal solar radiation in the
 pursuit of darkening our skin
 • We risk heanng loss for the opportunity to see our favonte
 musicians live
 • We have a game where two people get into an enclosed area
 and hit each other until time runs outione of them pass out
 • We wilingly jump out of planes with only a fimsy piece of cioth
 to prevent us from splattering against the ground.
 • Our response to natural disasters is to just rebuild our buildings
 in the exact same places.
 • We climb mountains and risk freezing to death for bragging
 rights
 • We invented dogs. We took our one time predators and
 completely domesticated them
 • On a planet full of lions, tigers and bears, we managed to
 advance further and faster than any other species on the
 Planet
 Klingons and Krogan and Orcs ain't got shit on us
 can we talk about how pursuit predation is fucking territying
 It's one thing to face down a cheetah, which will slam into you at 60 mph
 and break your neck
 It's another thing to run very quickly to get away from a thing, only to have
 it just kind of
 show up
 to have it be intelligent enough to figure out where you are by the fur and
 feather you've left behind, your footprints and piss and shit, and then you
 think you've lost it and you bed down for the night but THERE IT IS
 WAITING
 WHEN YOU WAKE UP
 and you spit! againt but it keeps following you. atways in the corner of
 your eye. until you just
 die
 we are scary motherfuckers ok
What if we were the monsters?advice-animal.tumblr.com

What if we were the monsters?advice-animal.tumblr.com

Krogan: Its funny how science fiction universes so offen treat humans as a boring, default everyman species or even the weakest and dumbest I want to see a sci universe where we're actually considered one of the more hideous and territying species. How do we know our saliva and skin oils wouldn't be ultra-corrosive to most other sapient races? What if we actually have the strongest vocal chords and can paralyze or kil the inhabitants of other worlds just by screaming at them? What if most sentient life in the universe turns out to be vegetable-like and lives in fear of us rare "animar races who can move so quickly and chew shit up with our teeth? Like that old story "they're made of meat," only we're scarier. HOLY SHIT THEY EAT CAPSAICIN FOR FUN YOU GUYS I HEARD A HUMAN ONCE ATE AN AIRPLANE A HUMAN CAN KEEP FIGHTING FOR HOURS EVEN AFTER YOU SHOOT IT humans are a proud warior race with a pantheon of bloody gods: Ram-Bo, Schwarzenegger, etc. REMOVING A LIMB WILL NOT FATALLY INCAPACITATE HUMANS: ALWAYS DESTROY THE HEAD WARNING. HUMANS CAN DETECT YOU EVEN AT NIGHT BY TRACKING VIBRATIONS THROUGH THE ATMOSPHERE WARNING HUMANS CAN REPRODUCE AT A RATE OF 1 PER SPACEYEAR. DESTROY INFESTATIONS IMMEDIATELY THE HUMAN MOUTH HAS OVER THIRTY OUTCROPS OF BONE AND POWERFUL JAW MUSCLES. HUMAN BITES CAN BE FATALLY INFECTIOUS EVEN TO OTHER HUMANS WARNING HUMANS CAN AND WILL USE IMPROVISED WEAPONS. SEE CLASSIFIED DATA LABELED J. CHAN HUMANS CAN PROJECT BIOWEAPONS FROM ALMOST EVERY ORIFICE ON THEIR BODY. DO NOT INHALE OH GOD THE HUMANS FIGURED OUT DOOR HANDLES OH GoD OH GOD More seriously, humans do have a number of advantages even among Terrestrial life. Our endurance. shock resistance, and abilty to recover trom injury is absurdiy high compared to almost any other animal. We offen use the phrase "healthy as a horse" to connote heartiness - but compared to a human, a horse is as fragile as spun glass There's mounting evidence that our primitive ancestors would hunt large prey simply by following it at a walking pace, without sleep or rest, until it died of exhaustion: It's called pursuit predation. Basically, we're the Terminator. (The only other animal that can sort of keep up with us? Dogs. That's why we use them for hunting. And even then, It's only "sort of) Now extrapolate that to a galary in which most sapient Ite did not evolve from hyper-specialised pursut predators • Our strength and speed is nothing to write home about, but we don't need to overpower or outrun you We just need to outiast you - and by any other species' standards, we just plain don't get tired • Where a simple broken leg will cause most species to go into shock and die, we can recover from virtually any injury that's not immediately fatal. Even traumatic dismemberment isn't necessarily a career-ending injury for a human. • We heal from injuries with extreme rapidity. recovering in weeks from wounds that would take others months or years to heal. The results aren't pretty - humans have hyperactive scar tissue. among our other survival-oriented trats - but they're highly functional. • Speaking of scarring, look at our medical science. We developed surgery centuries before developing even the most rudimentary anesthetics or life support. In extermis, humans have been known to perform surgery on themselves - and survive. Thanks to our extreme heartiness, we regard as routine medical procedures what most other species would regard as inventive forms of murder. We even perform radical surgery on ourselves for purely cosmetic reasons uhn in essence, we'd be Space Orcs I do hope you realize I'm going to be picking up this stufft and running with it right? Our jaws have too many TEETH in them so we developed a way to WELD METAL TO OUR TEETH and FORCE THE BONES IN OUR JAW to restructure over the course of years to fit them back into shape, and then we continue to wear metal in out mouths to keep them in place We formed cohabitative relationships with tiny mammals and insects we keep at bay from bothering us by death, offen using ittle analouge traps. And by god, we will eat anything • We use borderline toxic peppers to season our food • We expose ourselves to potentially lethal solar radiation in the pursuit of darkening our skin • We risk heanng loss for the opportunity to see our favonte musicians live • We have a game where two people get into an enclosed area and hit each other until time runs outione of them pass out • We wilingly jump out of planes with only a fimsy piece of cioth to prevent us from splattering against the ground. • Our response to natural disasters is to just rebuild our buildings in the exact same places. • We climb mountains and risk freezing to death for bragging rights • We invented dogs. We took our one time predators and completely domesticated them • On a planet full of lions, tigers and bears, we managed to advance further and faster than any other species on the Planet Klingons and Krogan and Orcs ain't got shit on us can we talk about how pursuit predation is fucking territying It's one thing to face down a cheetah, which will slam into you at 60 mph and break your neck It's another thing to run very quickly to get away from a thing, only to have it just kind of show up to have it be intelligent enough to figure out where you are by the fur and feather you've left behind, your footprints and piss and shit, and then you think you've lost it and you bed down for the night but THERE IT IS WAITING WHEN YOU WAKE UP and you spit! againt but it keeps following you. atways in the corner of your eye. until you just die we are scary motherfuckers ok What if we were the monsters?omg-humor.tumblr.com
Krogan: Its funny how science fiction universes so
 offen treat humans as a boring, default
 everyman species or even the weakest and
 dumbest
 I want to see a sci
 universe where we're
 actually considered one of the more hideous
 and territying species.
 How do we know our saliva and skin oils
 wouldn't be ultra-corrosive to most other
 sapient races? What if we actually have the
 strongest vocal chords and can paralyze or kil
 the inhabitants of other worlds just by
 screaming at them? What if most sentient life in
 the universe turns out to be vegetable-like and
 lives in fear of us rare "animar races who can
 move so quickly and chew shit up with our
 teeth?
 Like that old story "they're made of meat," only
 we're scarier.
 HOLY SHIT THEY EAT CAPSAICIN FOR FUN
 YOU GUYS I HEARD A HUMAN ONCE ATE AN
 AIRPLANE
 A HUMAN CAN KEEP FIGHTING FOR HOURS EVEN
 AFTER YOU SHOOT IT
 humans are a proud warior race with a pantheon
 of bloody gods: Ram-Bo, Schwarzenegger, etc.
 REMOVING A LIMB WILL NOT FATALLY
 INCAPACITATE HUMANS: ALWAYS DESTROY THE
 HEAD
 WARNING. HUMANS CAN DETECT YOU EVEN AT
 NIGHT BY TRACKING VIBRATIONS THROUGH THE
 ATMOSPHERE
 WARNING HUMANS CAN REPRODUCE AT A
 RATE OF 1 PER SPACEYEAR. DESTROY
 INFESTATIONS IMMEDIATELY
 THE HUMAN MOUTH HAS OVER THIRTY
 OUTCROPS OF BONE AND POWERFUL JAW
 MUSCLES.
 HUMAN BITES CAN BE FATALLY INFECTIOUS
 EVEN TO OTHER HUMANS
 WARNING HUMANS CAN AND WILL USE
 IMPROVISED WEAPONS. SEE CLASSIFIED DATA
 LABELED J. CHAN
 HUMANS CAN PROJECT BIOWEAPONS FROM
 ALMOST EVERY ORIFICE ON THEIR BODY. DO
 NOT INHALE
 OH GOD THE HUMANS FIGURED OUT DOOR
 HANDLES OH GoD OH GOD
 More seriously, humans do have a number of
 advantages even among Terrestrial life. Our endurance.
 shock resistance, and abilty to recover trom injury is
 absurdiy high compared to almost any other animal. We
 offen use the phrase "healthy as a horse" to connote
 heartiness - but compared to a human, a horse is as
 fragile as spun glass There's mounting evidence that
 our primitive ancestors would hunt large prey simply by
 following it at a walking pace, without sleep or rest, until
 it died of exhaustion: It's called pursuit predation.
 Basically, we're the Terminator.
 (The only other animal that can sort of keep up with us?
 Dogs. That's why we use them for hunting. And even
 then, It's only "sort of)
 Now extrapolate that to a galary in which most sapient
 Ite did not evolve from hyper-specialised pursut
 predators
 • Our strength and speed is nothing to write home
 about, but we don't need to overpower or outrun
 you We just need to outiast you - and by any
 other species' standards, we just plain don't get
 tired
 • Where a simple broken leg will cause most
 species to go into shock and die, we can recover
 from virtually any injury that's not immediately
 fatal. Even traumatic dismemberment isn't
 necessarily a career-ending injury for a human.
 • We heal from injuries with extreme rapidity.
 recovering in weeks from wounds that would take
 others months or years to heal. The results aren't
 pretty - humans have hyperactive scar tissue.
 among our other survival-oriented trats - but
 they're highly functional.
 • Speaking of scarring, look at our medical science.
 We developed surgery centuries before
 developing even the most rudimentary
 anesthetics or life support. In extermis, humans
 have been known to perform surgery on
 themselves - and survive. Thanks to our
 extreme heartiness, we regard as routine medical
 procedures what most other species would regard
 as inventive forms of murder. We even perform
 radical surgery on ourselves for purely cosmetic
 reasons
 uhn
 in essence, we'd be Space Orcs
 I do hope you realize I'm going to be picking up this stufft and
 running with it right?
 Our jaws have too many TEETH in them so we developed a way
 to WELD METAL TO OUR TEETH and FORCE THE BONES IN
 OUR JAW to restructure over the course of years to fit them back
 into shape, and then we continue to wear metal in out mouths to
 keep them in place
 We formed cohabitative relationships with tiny mammals and
 insects we keep at bay from bothering us by death, offen using
 ittle analouge traps.
 And by god, we will eat anything
 • We use borderline toxic peppers to season our food
 • We expose ourselves to potentially lethal solar radiation in the
 pursuit of darkening our skin
 • We risk heanng loss for the opportunity to see our favonte
 musicians live
 • We have a game where two people get into an enclosed area
 and hit each other until time runs outione of them pass out
 • We wilingly jump out of planes with only a fimsy piece of cioth
 to prevent us from splattering against the ground.
 • Our response to natural disasters is to just rebuild our buildings
 in the exact same places.
 • We climb mountains and risk freezing to death for bragging
 rights
 • We invented dogs. We took our one time predators and
 completely domesticated them
 • On a planet full of lions, tigers and bears, we managed to
 advance further and faster than any other species on the
 Planet
 Klingons and Krogan and Orcs ain't got shit on us
 can we talk about how pursuit predation is fucking territying
 It's one thing to face down a cheetah, which will slam into you at 60 mph
 and break your neck
 It's another thing to run very quickly to get away from a thing, only to have
 it just kind of
 show up
 to have it be intelligent enough to figure out where you are by the fur and
 feather you've left behind, your footprints and piss and shit, and then you
 think you've lost it and you bed down for the night but THERE IT IS
 WAITING
 WHEN YOU WAKE UP
 and you spit! againt but it keeps following you. atways in the corner of
 your eye. until you just
 die
 we are scary motherfuckers ok
What if we were the monsters?omg-humor.tumblr.com

What if we were the monsters?omg-humor.tumblr.com