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Anaconda, Ass, and Donkey: Yesterday at 8:17 AM Ok. Storytime: this is kinda long but PLEASE READ. It's about my experience last night with these fucking border patrol agents. Last night, I rode the greyhound bus from Bakersfield to Las Vegas to visit family. When we got to the California/Nevada state line, as always, there's a checkpoint. (This checkpoint USED to be one where they made sure you weren't carrying fruits into California, bc of an invasive fruit fly species) Anyway... The bus driver makes an announcement: "We are being boarded by Border Patrol. Please be prepared to show your documentation upon request". WAIT. WHAT THE FUCK? So you know I'm ready to act an ASS. I stand up and say LOUDLY I stand up and say LOUDLY: THIS IS A VIOLATION OF YOUR 4TH AMENDMENT RIGHTS. YOU DON'T HAVE TO SHOW THEM *SHIT*! This is illegal. We are not within 100 miles of an international border so that have NO authority to ask you for ANYTHING. TELL THEM TO FUCK OFF! And, Since my Spanish sucks, I Google translated how to say that in Spanish and repeated myself: Esto es una violaciΓ³n de los derechos de su cuarta enmienda. Β‘No tienes que mostrarles nada! Esto es ilegal No cumples, y no tengas miedo. EstΓ‘n equivocados, y no dejaremos pasar esto The lady next to me did not speak English. She looked terrified. I reassured her that I had her back. The agents get on. Proceed to announce that they are about to start asking for "documentation" from people. I Stand up and yell "I'm not showing you shit! 'm not drivina this his so vou have NO The agents get on. Proceed to announce that they are about to start asking for "documentation" from people. I Stand up and yell "I'm not showing you shit! I'm not driving this bus, so you have NO RIGHT to ask me for anything! And the rest of you guys don't have to show them anything, either! This is harassment and racial profiling! Don't show them a gotdamn thing! We are not within 100 miles of a border so they have NO LEGAL RIGHT or jurisdiction here! GOOGLE IT!" The agents start to look exasperated, because they can see I'm wiling to act a WHOLE DONKEY. One of them said "Fine. We can see that you're a citizen because of your filthy mouth". And then they just said "go ahead" to the bus driver and got off. Point is: These border patrol officers act like they do because they EXPECT people to be afraid of them and just comply. The lady next to me spoke NO ENGLISH, but she was a very kind woman. She looked TERRIFIED when Point is: These border patrol officers act like they do because they EXPECT people to be afraid of them and just comply. The lady next to me spoke NO ENGLISH, but she was a very kind woman. She looked TERRIFIED when they boarded. I felt it was my duty to defend her. We DO NOT LIVE in Nazi Germany. No one should be asked to present "papers" for interstate travel. I defended her, and I defended myself. We DO NOT HAVE to just take this shit LYING down. What those officers did is WRONG and completely illegal. All it took was ONE LOUD ass Black woman to let them know WE ARE NOT WITH THE SHITS. FUCK Y'ALL. And they backed off. Use your voice. Take a risk. Act an ASS. Because if you let them intimidate the poor Spanish speaking woman next to you, who do you think they're coming for next? Obnoxious Lady Uses Google Translate to Give a Speech and Border Patrol lets her go Because of her "Foul Mouth"
Anaconda, Ass, and Donkey: Yesterday at 8:17 AM
 Ok. Storytime: this is kinda long but PLEASE
 READ. It's about my experience last night with
 these fucking border patrol agents.
 Last night, I rode the greyhound bus from
 Bakersfield to Las Vegas to visit family.
 When we got to the California/Nevada state
 line, as always, there's a checkpoint.
 (This checkpoint USED to be one where they
 made sure you weren't carrying fruits into
 California, bc of an invasive fruit fly species)
 Anyway...
 The bus driver makes an announcement: "We
 are being boarded by Border Patrol. Please be
 prepared to show your documentation upon
 request".
 WAIT. WHAT THE FUCK?
 So you know I'm ready to act an ASS.
 I stand up and say LOUDLY

 I stand up and say LOUDLY:
 THIS IS A VIOLATION OF YOUR 4TH
 AMENDMENT RIGHTS. YOU DON'T HAVE TO
 SHOW THEM *SHIT*! This is illegal. We are
 not within 100 miles of an international border
 so that have NO authority to ask you for
 ANYTHING. TELL THEM TO FUCK OFF!
 And, Since my Spanish sucks, I Google
 translated how to say that in Spanish and
 repeated myself:
 Esto es una violaciΓ³n de los derechos de su
 cuarta enmienda. Β‘No tienes que mostrarles
 nada! Esto es ilegal No cumples, y no tengas
 miedo. EstΓ‘n equivocados, y no dejaremos
 pasar esto
 The lady next to me did not speak English.
 She looked terrified. I reassured her that I had
 her back.
 The agents get on. Proceed to announce that
 they are about to start asking for
 "documentation" from people.
 I Stand up and yell "I'm not showing you shit!
 'm not drivina this his so vou have NO

 The agents get on. Proceed to announce that
 they are about to start asking for
 "documentation" from people.
 I Stand up and yell "I'm not showing you shit!
 I'm not driving this bus, so you have NO
 RIGHT to ask me for anything! And the rest
 of you guys don't have to show them
 anything, either! This is harassment and
 racial profiling! Don't show them a gotdamn
 thing! We are not within 100 miles of a border
 so they have NO LEGAL RIGHT or jurisdiction
 here! GOOGLE IT!"
 The agents start to look exasperated,
 because they can see I'm wiling to act a
 WHOLE DONKEY. One of them said "Fine. We
 can see that you're a citizen because of your
 filthy mouth". And then they just said "go
 ahead" to the bus driver and got off.
 Point is: These border patrol officers act like
 they do because they EXPECT people to be
 afraid of them and just comply. The lady next
 to me spoke NO ENGLISH, but she was a very
 kind woman. She looked TERRIFIED when

 Point is: These border patrol officers act like
 they do because they EXPECT people to be
 afraid of them and just comply. The lady next
 to me spoke NO ENGLISH, but she was a very
 kind woman. She looked TERRIFIED when
 they boarded. I felt it was my duty to defend
 her. We DO NOT LIVE in Nazi Germany. No
 one should be asked to present "papers" for
 interstate travel. I defended her, and I
 defended myself. We DO NOT HAVE to just
 take this shit LYING down. What those
 officers did is WRONG and completely illegal.
 All it took was ONE LOUD ass Black woman to
 let them know WE ARE NOT WITH THE
 SHITS. FUCK Y'ALL. And they backed off.
 Use your voice. Take a risk. Act an ASS.
 Because if you let them intimidate the poor
 Spanish speaking woman next to you, who do
 you think they're coming for next?

Obnoxious Lady Uses Google Translate to Give a Speech and Border Patrol lets her go Because of her "Foul Mouth"

Obnoxious Lady Uses Google Translate to Give a Speech and Border Patrol lets her go Because of her "Foul Mouth"

Big Dick, Chill, and Church: ITT: Glorious Retards >be me mormonfag church boring as fuck not really that interested in going, its a cult, mostly do it for my family hate testimony week basically open mic day once a week at church people go up and are supposed to talk about how great god is or whatever, generally just talk about how great they are and what vacation they went on last literally just a big dick measuring contest new family moves into ward pretty unusual situation: single dad, downie kid. we learned way later that he accidentally got a girl pregnant, she wanted to abort downie, he said he'd raise the baby himself rather than see that happen. not sure if i agree with it, but gotta admit, that's honorable as fuck downies a good kid too, sweet as can be, not as dumb as you'd think anyway testimony week comes around, dreading it first guy goes up, starts talking about how he baptized a lot of people on his mission >am rolling my eyes in five dimensions when I heard downie roar from across the room "TEHTIMONEY WEEK IS FOHR TEHTIMONEYS! NOE!" room goes quiet, guy wraps up quickly, sits down people tell actual wholesome stuff, they fear the downie. no dick measuring with him around next week similar thing happens: woman goes up to talk about how much she loves her husband, and how he took the whole family on a trip to mexico recently Downie interrupts "TEHTIMONEY! WEEK! IS! FOHR! TEHTIMONEYS! NOE!" lady sits down, normal talking goes on, im officially borderline gay for downie later talking with my edgelord apostate friends, we all talk about how downie is the best thing to happen to this ward ever we find downie and thank him for keeping it real. his dad is super touched that we all stopped by, we all make sure to thank downie for his interruptions and tell him to keep it real we thought maybe his dad would be annoyed that we were encouraging this, but his dad was chill as could be 6.5 kB JPG 33 min. ago. Anonymous | 44806137 cont next week, Downey takes it up a notclh mormon services have two or three talks a servic, all done by volunteers, but the talks can suuuuuuck worst ones are when old people/newly returned missionaries are asked to talk and they ramble for an hour and a half old lady is going on and on about growing up in the great depression. we're all about to go insane when downie stands up YOU TAHK TOO LON, OTHER SPEACHERS NEED TO TAHK TOO lady wraps up we're all in fucking awe of this god among us anytime somebody rambles, or tries to humblebrag, downie calls them out its fucking amazing >church is still a cult but its actually kind of fun now with downie there me and my edgelord friends keep an eye on him, nobody fucks with our downie we get near the end of HS when downie has a heart attack we all visit him in the hospital. we fucking love him >he survived the heart attack, but he just may not have a whole lot of time left. the sunday, the dad announces that him and his son are going to be moving out of state. wants to show his son more of the world before he dies. me and my friends go to downies house to say goodbye, tell him we're going to miss him so much, testimoney week is going to turn back to shit with him gone downie asks if he can tell us a secret we say sure, you can tell us anything "Dah tole me wat to say all those times. >mfw his dad originally used his retarded son as a way to ignore social conventions and tell people to stfu, but wound up continuing to do it for years because he knew it was helping him have friends. >mfw when im not sure if his dad is an asshole or a genius >mfw I don't even care anymore, I still think fondly of that glorious downie bastard yelling at old ladies from the back of the chapel 1 REPLY Anon goes to church
Big Dick, Chill, and Church: ITT: Glorious Retards
 >be me
 mormonfag
 church boring as fuck
 not really that interested in going, its a cult, mostly do it for
 my family
 hate testimony week
 basically open mic day once a week at church
 people go up and are supposed to talk about how great
 god is or whatever, generally just talk about how great they
 are and what vacation they went on last
 literally just a big dick measuring contest
 new family moves into ward
 pretty unusual situation: single dad, downie kid. we learned
 way later that he accidentally got a girl pregnant, she
 wanted to abort downie, he said he'd raise the baby himself
 rather than see that happen.
 not sure if i agree with it, but gotta admit, that's honorable
 as fuck
 downies a good kid too, sweet as can be, not as dumb as
 you'd think
 anyway
 testimony week comes around, dreading it
 first guy goes up, starts talking about how he baptized a lot
 of people on his mission
 >am rolling my eyes in five dimensions when I heard downie
 roar from across the room
 "TEHTIMONEY WEEK IS FOHR TEHTIMONEYS! NOE!"
 room goes quiet, guy wraps up quickly, sits down
 people tell actual wholesome stuff, they fear the downie.
 no dick measuring with him around
 next week similar thing happens: woman goes up to talk
 about how much she loves her husband, and how he took
 the whole family on a trip to mexico recently
 Downie interrupts
 "TEHTIMONEY! WEEK! IS! FOHR! TEHTIMONEYS! NOE!"
 lady sits down, normal talking goes on, im officially
 borderline gay for downie
 later talking with my edgelord apostate friends, we all talk
 about how downie is the best thing to happen to this ward
 ever
 we find downie and thank him for keeping it real. his dad
 is super touched that we all stopped by, we all make sure
 to thank downie for his interruptions and tell him to keep it
 real
 we thought maybe his dad would be annoyed that we were
 encouraging this, but his dad was chill as could be
 6.5 kB JPG

 33 min. ago.
 Anonymous | 44806137
 cont
 next week, Downey takes it up a notclh
 mormon services have two or three talks a servic, all done by volunteers, but
 the talks can suuuuuuck
 worst ones are when old people/newly returned missionaries are asked to talk
 and they ramble for an hour and a half
 old lady is going on and on about growing up in the great depression. we're all
 about to go insane when downie stands up
 YOU TAHK TOO LON, OTHER SPEACHERS NEED TO TAHK TOO
 lady wraps up
 we're all in fucking awe of this god among us
 anytime somebody rambles, or tries to humblebrag, downie calls them out
 its fucking amazing
 >church is still a cult but its actually kind of fun now with downie there
 me and my edgelord friends keep an eye on him, nobody fucks with our downie
 we get near the end of HS when downie has a heart attack
 we all visit him in the hospital. we fucking love him
 >he survived the heart attack, but he just may not have a whole lot of time left.
 the sunday, the dad announces that him and his son are going to be moving out
 of state. wants to show his son more of the world before he dies.
 me and my friends go to downies house to say goodbye, tell him we're going to
 miss him so much, testimoney week is going to turn back to shit with him gone
 downie asks if he can tell us a secret
 we say sure, you can tell us anything
 "Dah tole me wat to say all those times.
 >mfw his dad originally used his retarded son as a way to ignore social
 conventions and tell people to stfu, but wound up continuing to do it for years
 because he knew it was helping him have friends.
 >mfw when im not sure if his dad is an asshole or a genius
 >mfw I don't even care anymore, I still think fondly of that glorious downie
 bastard yelling at old ladies from the back of the chapel
 1 REPLY
Anon goes to church

Anon goes to church