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Ass, Bill Cosby, and Bitch: dm Ro Can I get to kno yu 6 hours ago Sent from Mobile Jamal Thomas I'm a boy 6 hours ago Jdm Rog Ohh 6 hours ago Sent from Messenger Jamal Thomas Yea nigga you gay. What bitch you know named Jamal 6 hours ago *me in my creative writing class* *slowly falling asleep* *out cold* “TEROME!” *I quickly wake up* *the whole class is looking at me* “Would you like to share what’s on your paper since you were obviously finished.” The teacher says. *i look down at my paper* *gulp* “Uhhhhhh, Id rather not.” I say. “Frankly you have no choice. Please stand and read your paper aloud to the class.” *fuck this nigga* *i stand up* *i begin to read* “‘Man, fuck this class bruh. This monotone ass teacher be putting us all to sleep word to Bill Cosby. Why he built like the letter T? Nigga skipped leg day since birth. Only thing good about this class is the females yo. Samira over there got the FATTEST ass. Shit got its own gravitational pull.’” *sweating intensifies* “‘Angela over there got the meanest overbite. She look like her mom was a slave and her dad was a horse. She prolly give some life-threatening head though. But the baddest bitch in this whole class was Mr. G’s wife. I be staring at that picture of her on his desk and just be drooling and shit. Her titties look like 2 healthy balloons. It’s something bout that MILF next door word to @lilboom. I’d break her 43 year old back in a heart beat. Make Mr. G pay for her hip replacements.’” *dabs forehead with towel* “‘Then there’s this bitch Sara. On God I’d hire Randy Orton to RKO her ass off a cliff if I could. I bet she eat celery with no ranch. Why she built like a 4th grader with a decent fashion sense. Nah scratch that, this bitch got on some beat up Converse and a Twenty One Pilots shirt. I should deck her shit right now.’” *takes a sip of water* “‘All the dudes in this class lame too. This nigga Paul next to me sagging in his chair. First of all, who the fuck sags anymore. Tempted to give this nigga a mega wedgie word to Captain Underpants. Damn I haven’t seen a Captain Underpants book in a while. Wasn’t there a movie about that shit? I’m rambling though. Damn I’m almost at the bottom of the page. Lemme say one more thing then. If I’m forced to read this aloud then I’m swallowing the cyanide pill in my tooth right afterwards.’” *i put the notebook down* “Wait, you’ll do what?” The teacher says. Cya(nide). ttstorytime
Ass, Bill Cosby, and Bitch: dm Ro
 Can I get to kno yu
 6 hours ago Sent from Mobile
 Jamal Thomas
 I'm a boy
 6 hours ago
 Jdm Rog
 Ohh
 6 hours ago Sent from Messenger
 Jamal Thomas
 Yea nigga you gay. What bitch you know
 named Jamal
 6 hours ago
*me in my creative writing class* *slowly falling asleep* *out cold* “TEROME!” *I quickly wake up* *the whole class is looking at me* “Would you like to share what’s on your paper since you were obviously finished.” The teacher says. *i look down at my paper* *gulp* “Uhhhhhh, Id rather not.” I say. “Frankly you have no choice. Please stand and read your paper aloud to the class.” *fuck this nigga* *i stand up* *i begin to read* “‘Man, fuck this class bruh. This monotone ass teacher be putting us all to sleep word to Bill Cosby. Why he built like the letter T? Nigga skipped leg day since birth. Only thing good about this class is the females yo. Samira over there got the FATTEST ass. Shit got its own gravitational pull.’” *sweating intensifies* “‘Angela over there got the meanest overbite. She look like her mom was a slave and her dad was a horse. She prolly give some life-threatening head though. But the baddest bitch in this whole class was Mr. G’s wife. I be staring at that picture of her on his desk and just be drooling and shit. Her titties look like 2 healthy balloons. It’s something bout that MILF next door word to @lilboom. I’d break her 43 year old back in a heart beat. Make Mr. G pay for her hip replacements.’” *dabs forehead with towel* “‘Then there’s this bitch Sara. On God I’d hire Randy Orton to RKO her ass off a cliff if I could. I bet she eat celery with no ranch. Why she built like a 4th grader with a decent fashion sense. Nah scratch that, this bitch got on some beat up Converse and a Twenty One Pilots shirt. I should deck her shit right now.’” *takes a sip of water* “‘All the dudes in this class lame too. This nigga Paul next to me sagging in his chair. First of all, who the fuck sags anymore. Tempted to give this nigga a mega wedgie word to Captain Underpants. Damn I haven’t seen a Captain Underpants book in a while. Wasn’t there a movie about that shit? I’m rambling though. Damn I’m almost at the bottom of the page. Lemme say one more thing then. If I’m forced to read this aloud then I’m swallowing the cyanide pill in my tooth right afterwards.’” *i put the notebook down* “Wait, you’ll do what?” The teacher says. Cya(nide). ttstorytime

*me in my creative writing class* *slowly falling asleep* *out cold* “TEROME!” *I quickly wake up* *the whole class is looking at me* “Would...

Barbie, Birthday, and Facts: altonzm french recipes: if you're not making this in paris then what's the point. fuck you talian recipes: use the left leg meat of a pig from one of three farms in this specific area of tuscany, or from this day my grandmother will begin manifesting physically in your house thirdtimecharmed american recipes: buy these three cans of stuff and put them in a pan congrats you cooked chinese recipes, as handed down from mother to child: season it with a pinch of this and some of that. you want to know the exact amount? feel it in your heart. ask the stars. yell into the void. orriculum English recipes: boil and salt it. Okay that's it enjoy digitalfare Greek recipes: You followed all the right steps but this isn't quite right. I don't know what to tell you. jamesandlilys Australia recipes: chuck it on the barbie pajarosdelamancha Latinx recipes: you will never make it better than your abuela, face the facts narwhal-noir Armenian recipes: spend eight days laboring over the stove. the food will be flavorful with the sacrifice of your sanity no one will appreciate it. moldychesee Canadian recipes: It either needs more bacon, more maple syrup, more gravy or an unholy combination of the three dixon-arrows Polish recipes: you have to toUCH THE DOUGH, FEEL THE PIEROGI IN YOUR HEART, TOUCH IT. LICK IT. SMELL IT beckyhop Every time I see this post, I learn more about how different countries cuisines AND neuroses. memesandshipsgalore Indian recipes: there are 500 cuisines and that means 500 versions of this dish that has 500 spices so gl onceuponamirror ashki jewish recipes: no, no. no. more onion. jumpingjacktrash internet recipes: here is a heartwarming story about my baby sister's third birthday that i completely made up, and a copypaste from alton brown. piedude Irish recipes: PO TA TOES BOILEM MASH 'EM STICK EM IN A STEW International Recipes
Barbie, Birthday, and Facts: altonzm
 french recipes: if you're not making this in paris then what's the point. fuck you
 talian recipes: use the left leg meat of a pig from one of three farms in this
 specific area of tuscany, or from this day my grandmother will begin manifesting
 physically in your house
 thirdtimecharmed
 american recipes: buy these three cans of stuff and put them in a pan congrats
 you cooked
 chinese recipes, as handed down from mother to child: season it with a
 pinch of this and some of that. you want to know the exact amount? feel it in
 your heart. ask the stars. yell into the void.
 orriculum
 English recipes: boil and salt it. Okay that's it enjoy
 digitalfare
 Greek recipes: You followed all the right steps but this isn't quite right. I don't
 know what to tell you.
 jamesandlilys
 Australia recipes: chuck it on the barbie

 pajarosdelamancha
 Latinx recipes: you will never make it better than your abuela, face the facts
 narwhal-noir
 Armenian recipes: spend eight days laboring over the stove. the food will be
 flavorful with the sacrifice of your sanity no one will appreciate it.
 moldychesee
 Canadian recipes: It either needs more bacon, more maple syrup, more gravy
 or an unholy combination of the three
 dixon-arrows
 Polish recipes: you have to toUCH THE DOUGH, FEEL THE PIEROGI IN
 YOUR HEART, TOUCH IT. LICK IT. SMELL IT
 beckyhop
 Every time I see this post, I learn more about how different countries cuisines
 AND neuroses.
 memesandshipsgalore
 Indian recipes: there are 500 cuisines and that means 500 versions of this dish
 that has 500 spices so gl
 onceuponamirror
 ashki jewish recipes: no, no. no. more onion.

 jumpingjacktrash
 internet recipes: here is a heartwarming story about my baby sister's third
 birthday that i completely made up, and a copypaste from alton brown.
 piedude
 Irish recipes:
 PO
 TA
 TOES
 BOILEM
 MASH 'EM
 STICK EM IN A STEW
International Recipes

International Recipes

Af, Be Like, and Bless Up: Retired therapy dog gets a kitten for christmas. Pic: reddit u/lizcomp @DrSmashlove So last week I posted an adorable pup that was a doggo-coyote mix. Obviously that precipitated a lot of bewildered comments from my beloved followers: “hold up...dogs and coyotes mix?” Now I ain’t think much about it at the time, but upon further reflection...DOGS AND COYOTES (and dogs and wolves 🐺) MIX?! LIKE THESE SPECIES HAVE RELATIONS BRUV?! 😂. Imagine the type of pressure u under as a dog! Like Mr. Peter Poodle hanging at home with Mrs. Pepper Poodle and she gardening and he tending the lawn in overalls and down the street come a wolf and a coyote in a black Chrysler 300 (like them Chryslers that all the trappers drive where it look like a Bentley but really Issa Chrysler) and Mr. Walter Wolf behind the wheel in Cartier glasses, an LA Raiders cap and a leather Pelle Pelle jacket crunching jolly ranchers and holding a double styrofoam cup just pull up to the crib like “AYE PEPPER. GET IN THE WHIP, B!H.” And ol Peter just like “I’m sorry! You can’t speak to my spouse like that! Stop at once before I alert the authorities! I’ll have you know that I golf with the Chief of Police!” And Walter Wolf just hop out and tear Peter’s leg off and start eating it lmao. And he look at Peter like BOY LEMME GIVE U A LIL HISTORY LESSON. ME AND PEPPER USE TO DATE IN HIGH SCHOOL. I GOT HER CARRYING MY PUPS TOO BUT SHE WENT TO PLANNED PUPPERHOOD. SHE AIN TELL U ALL THAT DID SHE. PLUS SHE SENDING ME SNAPS WHEN U AT WORK OL “Peter from procurement” lookin a$$. FYI. PEPPER GET IN THE DAMN CAR. NONE OF THIS ARF ARF WOOF WOOF ISHT. SHE READY TO GO BACK TO A REAL BEAST.” And Walter just throw Peter’s leg on the ground and be like “I’LL BRING HER BACK WHEN I’M DONE.” Smfh. Animal kingdom wil af. Thank God I ain’t gotta deal with an uber-species of trained killers coming for my ladies. To quote Gucci Mane...sh!t shkressful Bruh 😫 BLESS UP 😂😂😂
Af, Be Like, and Bless Up: Retired therapy dog gets a kitten for
 christmas.
 Pic: reddit u/lizcomp
 @DrSmashlove
So last week I posted an adorable pup that was a doggo-coyote mix. Obviously that precipitated a lot of bewildered comments from my beloved followers: “hold up...dogs and coyotes mix?” Now I ain’t think much about it at the time, but upon further reflection...DOGS AND COYOTES (and dogs and wolves 🐺) MIX?! LIKE THESE SPECIES HAVE RELATIONS BRUV?! 😂. Imagine the type of pressure u under as a dog! Like Mr. Peter Poodle hanging at home with Mrs. Pepper Poodle and she gardening and he tending the lawn in overalls and down the street come a wolf and a coyote in a black Chrysler 300 (like them Chryslers that all the trappers drive where it look like a Bentley but really Issa Chrysler) and Mr. Walter Wolf behind the wheel in Cartier glasses, an LA Raiders cap and a leather Pelle Pelle jacket crunching jolly ranchers and holding a double styrofoam cup just pull up to the crib like “AYE PEPPER. GET IN THE WHIP, B!H.” And ol Peter just like “I’m sorry! You can’t speak to my spouse like that! Stop at once before I alert the authorities! I’ll have you know that I golf with the Chief of Police!” And Walter Wolf just hop out and tear Peter’s leg off and start eating it lmao. And he look at Peter like BOY LEMME GIVE U A LIL HISTORY LESSON. ME AND PEPPER USE TO DATE IN HIGH SCHOOL. I GOT HER CARRYING MY PUPS TOO BUT SHE WENT TO PLANNED PUPPERHOOD. SHE AIN TELL U ALL THAT DID SHE. PLUS SHE SENDING ME SNAPS WHEN U AT WORK OL “Peter from procurement” lookin a$$. FYI. PEPPER GET IN THE DAMN CAR. NONE OF THIS ARF ARF WOOF WOOF ISHT. SHE READY TO GO BACK TO A REAL BEAST.” And Walter just throw Peter’s leg on the ground and be like “I’LL BRING HER BACK WHEN I’M DONE.” Smfh. Animal kingdom wil af. Thank God I ain’t gotta deal with an uber-species of trained killers coming for my ladies. To quote Gucci Mane...sh!t shkressful Bruh 😫 BLESS UP 😂😂😂

So last week I posted an adorable pup that was a doggo-coyote mix. Obviously that precipitated a lot of bewildered comments from my beloved ...

Anaconda, Love, and Memes: Are Janet Jackson and Jermaine Dupri Back Together After Nearly A Decade Apart? @balleralert Are Janet Jackson and Jermaine Dupri Back Together After Nearly A Decade Apart?– blogged by @MsJennyb ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ As JanetJackson wrapped the U.S. leg of her “State of the World” tour, the legendary singer kicked it with a familiar face at a private party at STK Atlanta. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ According to the NYPost, Jackson was seen with her ex, JermaineDupri, whom she dated for nearly a decade before breaking it off in 2009. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ A source told the publication that the two, “arrived together right after the show. He was dressed in a long hooded cloak. It seemed like he was trying to fly under the radar.” ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ According to US Weekly, the two are picking up right where they left off eight years ago, in the wake of Jackson’s split from her husband, Wissam Al Mana. A source told the publication that the former couple has rekindled their old flame, and “are 100 percent back together and in love.” However, the source said they are taking it slow, as they are just kicking it and “getting to know each other all over again.” ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Are we here for a Janet and Jermaine reunion?
Anaconda, Love, and Memes: Are Janet Jackson and Jermaine
 Dupri Back Together After Nearly A
 Decade Apart?
 @balleralert
Are Janet Jackson and Jermaine Dupri Back Together After Nearly A Decade Apart?– blogged by @MsJennyb ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ As JanetJackson wrapped the U.S. leg of her “State of the World” tour, the legendary singer kicked it with a familiar face at a private party at STK Atlanta. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ According to the NYPost, Jackson was seen with her ex, JermaineDupri, whom she dated for nearly a decade before breaking it off in 2009. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ A source told the publication that the two, “arrived together right after the show. He was dressed in a long hooded cloak. It seemed like he was trying to fly under the radar.” ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ According to US Weekly, the two are picking up right where they left off eight years ago, in the wake of Jackson’s split from her husband, Wissam Al Mana. A source told the publication that the former couple has rekindled their old flame, and “are 100 percent back together and in love.” However, the source said they are taking it slow, as they are just kicking it and “getting to know each other all over again.” ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Are we here for a Janet and Jermaine reunion?

Are Janet Jackson and Jermaine Dupri Back Together After Nearly A Decade Apart?– blogged by @MsJennyb ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ As JanetJackson wrappe...