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Anaconda, Ass, and Donkey: Yesterday at 8:17 AM Ok. Storytime: this is kinda long but PLEASE READ. It's about my experience last night with these fucking border patrol agents. Last night, I rode the greyhound bus from Bakersfield to Las Vegas to visit family. When we got to the California/Nevada state line, as always, there's a checkpoint. (This checkpoint USED to be one where they made sure you weren't carrying fruits into California, bc of an invasive fruit fly species) Anyway... The bus driver makes an announcement: "We are being boarded by Border Patrol. Please be prepared to show your documentation upon request". WAIT. WHAT THE FUCK? So you know I'm ready to act an ASS. I stand up and say LOUDLY I stand up and say LOUDLY: THIS IS A VIOLATION OF YOUR 4TH AMENDMENT RIGHTS. YOU DON'T HAVE TO SHOW THEM *SHIT*! This is illegal. We are not within 100 miles of an international border so that have NO authority to ask you for ANYTHING. TELL THEM TO FUCK OFF! And, Since my Spanish sucks, I Google translated how to say that in Spanish and repeated myself: Esto es una violación de los derechos de su cuarta enmienda. ¡No tienes que mostrarles nada! Esto es ilegal No cumples, y no tengas miedo. Están equivocados, y no dejaremos pasar esto The lady next to me did not speak English. She looked terrified. I reassured her that I had her back. The agents get on. Proceed to announce that they are about to start asking for "documentation" from people. I Stand up and yell "I'm not showing you shit! 'm not drivina this his so vou have NO The agents get on. Proceed to announce that they are about to start asking for "documentation" from people. I Stand up and yell "I'm not showing you shit! I'm not driving this bus, so you have NO RIGHT to ask me for anything! And the rest of you guys don't have to show them anything, either! This is harassment and racial profiling! Don't show them a gotdamn thing! We are not within 100 miles of a border so they have NO LEGAL RIGHT or jurisdiction here! GOOGLE IT!" The agents start to look exasperated, because they can see I'm wiling to act a WHOLE DONKEY. One of them said "Fine. We can see that you're a citizen because of your filthy mouth". And then they just said "go ahead" to the bus driver and got off. Point is: These border patrol officers act like they do because they EXPECT people to be afraid of them and just comply. The lady next to me spoke NO ENGLISH, but she was a very kind woman. She looked TERRIFIED when Point is: These border patrol officers act like they do because they EXPECT people to be afraid of them and just comply. The lady next to me spoke NO ENGLISH, but she was a very kind woman. She looked TERRIFIED when they boarded. I felt it was my duty to defend her. We DO NOT LIVE in Nazi Germany. No one should be asked to present "papers" for interstate travel. I defended her, and I defended myself. We DO NOT HAVE to just take this shit LYING down. What those officers did is WRONG and completely illegal. All it took was ONE LOUD ass Black woman to let them know WE ARE NOT WITH THE SHITS. FUCK Y'ALL. And they backed off. Use your voice. Take a risk. Act an ASS. Because if you let them intimidate the poor Spanish speaking woman next to you, who do you think they're coming for next? Obnoxious Lady Uses Google Translate to Give a Speech and Border Patrol lets her go Because of her "Foul Mouth"
Anaconda, Ass, and Donkey: Yesterday at 8:17 AM
 Ok. Storytime: this is kinda long but PLEASE
 READ. It's about my experience last night with
 these fucking border patrol agents.
 Last night, I rode the greyhound bus from
 Bakersfield to Las Vegas to visit family.
 When we got to the California/Nevada state
 line, as always, there's a checkpoint.
 (This checkpoint USED to be one where they
 made sure you weren't carrying fruits into
 California, bc of an invasive fruit fly species)
 Anyway...
 The bus driver makes an announcement: "We
 are being boarded by Border Patrol. Please be
 prepared to show your documentation upon
 request".
 WAIT. WHAT THE FUCK?
 So you know I'm ready to act an ASS.
 I stand up and say LOUDLY

 I stand up and say LOUDLY:
 THIS IS A VIOLATION OF YOUR 4TH
 AMENDMENT RIGHTS. YOU DON'T HAVE TO
 SHOW THEM *SHIT*! This is illegal. We are
 not within 100 miles of an international border
 so that have NO authority to ask you for
 ANYTHING. TELL THEM TO FUCK OFF!
 And, Since my Spanish sucks, I Google
 translated how to say that in Spanish and
 repeated myself:
 Esto es una violación de los derechos de su
 cuarta enmienda. ¡No tienes que mostrarles
 nada! Esto es ilegal No cumples, y no tengas
 miedo. Están equivocados, y no dejaremos
 pasar esto
 The lady next to me did not speak English.
 She looked terrified. I reassured her that I had
 her back.
 The agents get on. Proceed to announce that
 they are about to start asking for
 "documentation" from people.
 I Stand up and yell "I'm not showing you shit!
 'm not drivina this his so vou have NO

 The agents get on. Proceed to announce that
 they are about to start asking for
 "documentation" from people.
 I Stand up and yell "I'm not showing you shit!
 I'm not driving this bus, so you have NO
 RIGHT to ask me for anything! And the rest
 of you guys don't have to show them
 anything, either! This is harassment and
 racial profiling! Don't show them a gotdamn
 thing! We are not within 100 miles of a border
 so they have NO LEGAL RIGHT or jurisdiction
 here! GOOGLE IT!"
 The agents start to look exasperated,
 because they can see I'm wiling to act a
 WHOLE DONKEY. One of them said "Fine. We
 can see that you're a citizen because of your
 filthy mouth". And then they just said "go
 ahead" to the bus driver and got off.
 Point is: These border patrol officers act like
 they do because they EXPECT people to be
 afraid of them and just comply. The lady next
 to me spoke NO ENGLISH, but she was a very
 kind woman. She looked TERRIFIED when

 Point is: These border patrol officers act like
 they do because they EXPECT people to be
 afraid of them and just comply. The lady next
 to me spoke NO ENGLISH, but she was a very
 kind woman. She looked TERRIFIED when
 they boarded. I felt it was my duty to defend
 her. We DO NOT LIVE in Nazi Germany. No
 one should be asked to present "papers" for
 interstate travel. I defended her, and I
 defended myself. We DO NOT HAVE to just
 take this shit LYING down. What those
 officers did is WRONG and completely illegal.
 All it took was ONE LOUD ass Black woman to
 let them know WE ARE NOT WITH THE
 SHITS. FUCK Y'ALL. And they backed off.
 Use your voice. Take a risk. Act an ASS.
 Because if you let them intimidate the poor
 Spanish speaking woman next to you, who do
 you think they're coming for next?

Obnoxious Lady Uses Google Translate to Give a Speech and Border Patrol lets her go Because of her "Foul Mouth"

Obnoxious Lady Uses Google Translate to Give a Speech and Border Patrol lets her go Because of her "Foul Mouth"

Ass, Baseball, and Fall: jpg (46 KB, 1024x683) No.46363786 Anonymous 18 min. ago >be me >working register at mcd's like a fucking wagie mom and son come up >absolute units, their hands were fucking round perfectly fucking round, like a baseball little blob holding a small fish bowl, maybe they came back from Walmart after getting a fish poor fish, probably doesn't even get his ration of the fish food one of those families that has each family member go up to order for themselves hate these kinds of families mama blob starts ordering out of breath from standing in line >slams her elbows down onto the counter to rest while ordering could have fucking swore i heard the counter rumble yaah *pant* could i have a *pant* ahhhhh *pant* big Mac *pant* make that two actually... *pant* no three.... and a *pant* basket of fries and *pant* a large diet coke sweat beads fall down from her chins onto the table breathes in sharply struggles to take elbows off of table finally accomplishes the task finally accomplishes the task two huge wet marks take up the register section those are her fucking elbows her elbows actually fucking sweated little blob comes up to order "can i have 2 big Macs pant* a basket of fries.. *pant* make that two actually *pant* and a large diet Coke *pant* brings fish bowl out onto counter "and... *pant* fill this up *pant* with chocolate *pant* milkshake >a fucking fishbowl sorry, our largest size is a large. we cannot fill things that aren't McDonalds cups mama blob starts throwing a tantrum "HE WANTS HIS FUCKING MILKSHAKE SO GIVE IT TO HIM" maam, we cann >"LET ME SPEAK TO YOUR GOD DAMN MANAGER go get manager >he just repeats what I said tells her she can buy about 10 large milkshakes to fill it if she wants "DAS TOO EXPENSIVE!!!" "TOO MUCH CALORIES!!!" >me and manager stare at each other did she really just say that mama blob sees us looking at each other cont. whole restaurant has been quiet this whole time just looking at us >mama blob hears something turns her body to look backward >a gentle greasy breeze hits me >sees a couple people snickering turns back around "YOURE EMBARRASSING ME!!" >me and manager stay silent tears start to well up in her eyes could have just been sweat though face turns redder grabs her son's hand "WE'RE NEVER EATING HERE AGAIN!" >something deep down told me that wasn't true >pulls her son's hand waddles out hear her panting as she opens the door notice something >me and manager both notice it look at each other there was something brown in the middle of Hammy's ass could it be could it fucking be look at her legs brown liquid streaking the inside of her right leg >she sharted >she actually fucking sharted and left a brown trail had to febreeze the fuck out of that place for 5 minutes janitor almost puked cleaning it up Hammy & Boy: A Shitty Quest for Fishbowl Milkshake
Ass, Baseball, and Fall: jpg (46 KB, 1024x683)
 No.46363786
 Anonymous
 18 min. ago
 >be me
 >working register at mcd's like a fucking wagie
 mom and son come up
 >absolute units, their hands were fucking round
 perfectly fucking round, like a baseball
 little blob holding a small fish bowl, maybe they
 came back from Walmart after getting a fish
 poor fish, probably doesn't even get his ration of the
 fish food
 one of those families that has each family member
 go up to order for themselves
 hate these kinds of families
 mama blob starts ordering
 out of breath from standing in line
 >slams her elbows down onto the counter to rest
 while ordering
 could have fucking swore i heard the counter
 rumble
 yaah *pant* could i have a *pant* ahhhhh *pant*
 big Mac *pant* make that two actually... *pant* no
 three.... and a *pant* basket of fries and *pant* a
 large diet coke
 sweat beads fall down from her chins onto the
 table
 breathes in sharply
 struggles to take elbows off of table
 finally accomplishes the task

 finally accomplishes the task
 two huge wet marks take up the register section
 those are her fucking elbows
 her elbows actually fucking sweated
 little blob comes up to order
 "can i have 2 big Macs pant* a basket of fries..
 *pant* make that two actually *pant* and a large diet
 Coke *pant*
 brings fish bowl out onto counter
 "and... *pant* fill this up *pant* with chocolate
 *pant* milkshake
 >a
 fucking
 fishbowl
 sorry, our largest size is a large. we cannot fill
 things that aren't McDonalds cups
 mama blob starts throwing a tantrum
 "HE WANTS HIS FUCKING MILKSHAKE SO GIVE IT
 TO HIM"
 maam, we cann
 >"LET ME SPEAK TO YOUR GOD DAMN MANAGER
 go get manager
 >he just repeats what I said
 tells her she can buy about 10 large milkshakes to
 fill it if she wants
 "DAS TOO EXPENSIVE!!!"
 "TOO MUCH CALORIES!!!"
 >me and manager stare at each other
 did she really just say that
 mama blob sees us looking at each other
 cont.

 whole restaurant has been quiet this whole time
 just looking at us
 >mama blob hears something
 turns her body to look backward
 >a gentle greasy breeze hits me
 >sees a couple people snickering
 turns back around
 "YOURE EMBARRASSING ME!!"
 >me and manager stay silent
 tears start to well up in her eyes
 could have just been sweat though
 face turns redder
 grabs her son's hand
 "WE'RE NEVER EATING HERE AGAIN!"
 >something deep down told me that wasn't true
 >pulls her son's hand
 waddles out
 hear her panting as she opens the door
 notice something
 >me and manager both notice it
 look at each other
 there was something brown in the middle of
 Hammy's ass
 could it be
 could it fucking be
 look at her legs
 brown liquid streaking the inside of her right leg
 >she sharted
 >she actually fucking sharted
 and left a brown trail
 had to febreeze the fuck out of that place for 5
 minutes
 janitor almost puked cleaning it up
Hammy & Boy: A Shitty Quest for Fishbowl Milkshake

Hammy & Boy: A Shitty Quest for Fishbowl Milkshake

Apparently, Beautiful, and Confused: Hi Morning Your holiday Monday off to a good start? Monday 09:15 Yes nice what r u looking for on tinder Monday 12:13 Nothing specific. I'm not around for long Monday 18:15 Ok Today 06:20 I feel the hunger on foreign skin, wants to absorb the scent of foreign skin, I want to drill my teeth into your flesh Draw marks on my skin with my nails. I want to feel how you give yourself to me, how you become soft and yielding, deliver you, just feel, just give, until you melt helpless in my arms I want to drink you empty like a sweet fruit, absorb your pain and moans into me Take heat and give it. Playing on your nipples, until your moans penetrate my ear like a beautiful melody. l want to touch, dominate, explore to the last corner of your soul And then start over. Slowly. Persevering. Relish I let your soul slip through my hands, shape and encourage you Protect you. I will kiss your tears away. Find you nice. Over and over again Today 07:49 Today 08:21 ....huh? When was ur last sex Today 09:32 I'm very confused about the turn this conversation has taken I thought you were looking for feedback on your....poetry. Or whatever that was Did u read the poem? I did. Are you looking for constructive feedback? Sent GIF Type a message... I did. Are you looking for constructive feedback? I am lookin for a feedback about what u feel it u like it Well, some of your metaphors are a little off. l'd also look at breaking out the old thesaurus the use of 'foreign skin' twice in two lines and 'moans' twice in one stanza could do with changing up. Also, beginning stanzas 2,3 & 4 with 'l want' is a good device, but you need to carry it through to the rest of the stanzas for it to really be effective Also very unsure on the find you nice' line All together it's a good beginning effort Sent GIF Type a message.. Do u like this type of sex Surely the sex in the poem is a metaphor for death though? It's not intended to be read literally as a sex act Do u read the dominant part? Yes, I want to touch [... last corner of your soul' - death is the ultimate dominator, and through the end of life manages to reach through to the very ends of our souls There is a feeling of rebirth, new life in this stanza though 'and then start over [...] persevering Maybe this is more about loss and finding oneself again than it is about death Sent GIF Type a message.. Do u like domiant men? The world is full of dominant men and it doesn't seem to be working so well for it Sent Type a message GIF .. Apparently not ready for the literary critique
Apparently, Beautiful, and Confused: Hi
 Morning
 Your holiday Monday off to a
 good start?
 Monday 09:15
 Yes nice what r u looking for on
 tinder
 Monday 12:13
 Nothing specific. I'm not around
 for long
 Monday 18:15
 Ok
 Today 06:20
 I feel the hunger on foreign
 skin,
 wants to absorb the scent of
 foreign skin,
 I want to drill my teeth into your
 flesh
 Draw marks on my skin with my
 nails.
 I want to feel how you give
 yourself to me,
 how you become soft and
 yielding,
 deliver you, just feel, just give,
 until you melt helpless in my
 arms
 I want to drink you empty like a
 sweet fruit,
 absorb your pain and moans
 into me
 Take heat and give it. Playing
 on your nipples,
 until your moans penetrate my
 ear like a beautiful melody.
 l want to touch, dominate,
 explore
 to the last corner of your soul
 And then start over.
 Slowly. Persevering. Relish
 I let your soul slip through my
 hands,
 shape and encourage you
 Protect you.
 I will kiss your tears away.
 Find you nice. Over and over
 again

 Today 07:49
 Today 08:21
 ....huh?
 When was ur last sex
 Today 09:32
 I'm very confused about the turn
 this conversation has taken
 I thought you were looking for
 feedback on your....poetry. Or
 whatever that was
 Did u read the poem?
 I did. Are you looking for
 constructive feedback?
 Sent
 GIF
 Type a message...

 I did. Are you looking for
 constructive feedback?
 I am lookin for a feedback
 about what u feel it u like it
 Well, some of your metaphors
 are a little off. l'd also look at
 breaking out the old thesaurus
 the use of 'foreign skin' twice
 in two lines and 'moans' twice
 in one stanza could do with
 changing up. Also, beginning
 stanzas 2,3 & 4 with 'l want' is
 a good device, but you need
 to carry it through to the rest
 of the stanzas for it to really be
 effective
 Also very unsure on the find you
 nice' line
 All together it's a good
 beginning effort
 Sent
 GIF
 Type a message..

 Do u like this type of sex
 Surely the sex in the poem is a
 metaphor for death though? It's
 not intended to be read literally
 as a sex act
 Do u read the dominant part?
 Yes, I want to touch [... last
 corner of your soul' - death is
 the ultimate dominator, and
 through the end of life manages
 to reach through to the very
 ends of our souls
 There is a feeling of rebirth, new
 life in this stanza though 'and
 then start over [...] persevering
 Maybe this is more about loss
 and finding oneself again than it
 is about death
 Sent
 GIF
 Type a message..

 Do u like domiant men?
 The world is full of dominant
 men and it doesn't seem to be
 working so well for it
 Sent
 Type a message
 GIF
 ..
Apparently not ready for the literary critique

Apparently not ready for the literary critique