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linguistic: Jessica Liebman ajessicaliebman Follow Hey, I wrote something! I've been hiring people for 10 years, and I still swear bya simple rule: If someone doesn't send a thank you email, don't hire them. I've been hiring people for 10 years, and I still swear by a simple rule: if s An executive managing editor who has hired hundreds of people believes candidates who send thank you emails show they want the job. businessinsider.com Muging M. Zhang @muqingmzhang Follow White people's fixation on inconsequential social norms is a way to structurally keep out non-white people who lack the cultural capital and privilege to know every one of these inane social rules we're supposed to perform to be granted the jobs and resources we fucking deserve. Jessica Liebman @jessicaliebman Hey, I wrote something!. I've been hiring people for 10 years, and I still swear by a simple rule: If someone doesn't send a thank you email, don't hire them. businessinsider.com/how-to-write-t.. Muqing M. Zhang @muqingmzhang Follow As people who lack white or class privilege know, not possessing this cultural capital causes intense anxiety and alienation. Networking events, office small talk, interviews are often dreadful experiences bc we're being judged according to rules that were set up for us to fail. Muqing M. Zhang @muqingmzhang Follow Everyone who has experienced the dread & anxiety of being in a room full of privileged white people and literally not knowing what they're talking about and second guessing everything you do, knows that these "proper politeness" rules are just a way to alienate & marginalize us. Muqing M. Zhang Follow muingmzhang These social norms of the dominant group create intense emotional strain for marginalized peoples. They cause immense mental labor for us to learn and mimic these behaviors, fear that resources will be withheld, and anxiety when we can't contort ourselves to fit their demands. thesunshineshow: kushonthecoast: siryouarebeingmocked: yourpoliticsarestupid: uncommonbish: THISTHISTHIS, and linguistic prescriptivism also falls into this category. Completely pointless, historically arbitrary way to keep TALENT + MERIT as secondary qualifiers. “First impressions matter” my ass. Get Gen Xs out of hiring positions Someone didn’t send a thank you email. I always love it when some idiot takes a single person’s actions and uses them to generalize about “white people” or “men” or whoever. white people’s fixations on inconsequential social norms Who wants to tell this guy about, say, Japanese tea ceremonies? In fact, this statement is not only racist against white people, it’s racist against non-whites too. the jobs we [CENSORED] deserve Isn’t that for the hiring manager to determine, not you? If you’re throwing this pseudoinellectual, racist, self-entitled tantrum over a single hiring manager requiring a minor courtesy, why would anyone want to hire you? Do you think most white applicants are automatically going know they should send a thank you letter? “First impressions matter” my ass. You…you do realize that concept isn’t remotely limited to Gen Xers, right? How fucking low does the bar have to be that asking for a thank you is too fucking much? Pathetic doesn’t even begin to cover it. I thought it was common sense to say thank you for getting hired but it turns out I’ve been a superior, high class white male all along. I learn so much on Tumblr everyday. “nonwhites are idiotic caveman with zero basic social skills” sounds kind of racist to me.
linguistic: Jessica Liebman
 ajessicaliebman
 Follow
 Hey, I wrote something! I've been hiring
 people for 10 years, and I still swear bya
 simple rule: If someone doesn't send a thank
 you email, don't hire them.
 I've been hiring people for 10 years, and I still swear by a simple rule: if s
 An executive managing editor who has hired hundreds of people believes
 candidates who send thank you emails show they want the job.
 businessinsider.com

 Muging M. Zhang
 @muqingmzhang
 Follow
 White people's fixation on
 inconsequential social norms is a way to
 structurally keep out non-white people
 who lack the cultural capital and
 privilege to know every one of these
 inane social rules we're supposed to
 perform to be granted the jobs and
 resources we fucking deserve.
 Jessica Liebman @jessicaliebman
 Hey, I wrote something!. I've been hiring people for 10 years, and I still
 swear by a simple rule: If someone doesn't send a thank you email, don't hire
 them. businessinsider.com/how-to-write-t..

 Muqing M. Zhang
 @muqingmzhang
 Follow
 As people who lack white or class
 privilege know, not possessing this
 cultural capital causes intense anxiety
 and alienation. Networking events, office
 small talk, interviews are often dreadful
 experiences bc we're being judged
 according to rules that were set up for us
 to fail.

 Muqing M. Zhang
 @muqingmzhang
 Follow
 Everyone who has experienced the dread
 & anxiety of being in a room full of
 privileged white people and literally not
 knowing what they're talking about and
 second guessing everything you do,
 knows that these "proper politeness"
 rules are just a way to alienate &
 marginalize us.

 Muqing M. Zhang
 Follow
 muingmzhang
 These social norms of the dominant
 group create intense emotional strain for
 marginalized peoples. They cause
 immense mental labor for us to learn and
 mimic these behaviors, fear that
 resources will be withheld, and anxiety
 when we can't contort ourselves to fit
 their demands.
thesunshineshow:
kushonthecoast:


siryouarebeingmocked:


yourpoliticsarestupid:

uncommonbish:

THISTHISTHIS, and linguistic prescriptivism also falls into this category. Completely pointless, historically arbitrary way to keep TALENT + MERIT as secondary qualifiers. “First impressions matter” my ass. Get Gen Xs out of hiring positions

Someone didn’t send a thank you email. 

I always love it when some idiot takes a single person’s actions and uses them to generalize about “white people” or “men” or whoever.
white people’s fixations on inconsequential social norms
Who wants to tell this guy about, say, Japanese tea ceremonies? In fact, this statement is not only racist against white people, it’s racist against non-whites too.
the jobs we [CENSORED] deserve
Isn’t that for the hiring manager to determine, not you? If you’re throwing this pseudoinellectual, racist, self-entitled tantrum over a single hiring manager requiring a minor courtesy, why would anyone want to hire you? Do you think most white applicants are automatically going know they should send a thank you letter?


“First impressions matter” my ass.


You…you do realize that concept isn’t remotely limited to Gen Xers, right?


How fucking low does the bar have to be that asking for a thank you is too fucking much?
Pathetic doesn’t even begin to cover it.


I thought it was common sense to say thank you for getting hired but it turns out I’ve been a superior, high class white male all along. I learn so much on Tumblr everyday. 


“nonwhites are idiotic caveman with zero basic social skills” sounds kind of racist to me.

thesunshineshow: kushonthecoast: siryouarebeingmocked: yourpoliticsarestupid: uncommonbish: THISTHISTHIS, and linguistic prescripti...

linguistic: Jessica Liebman ajessicaliebman Follow Hey, I wrote something! I've been hiring people for 10 years, and I still swear bya simple rule: If someone doesn't send a thank you email, don't hire them. I've been hiring people for 10 years, and I still swear by a simple rule: if s An executive managing editor who has hired hundreds of people believes candidates who send thank you emails show they want the job. businessinsider.com Muging M. Zhang @muqingmzhang Follow White people's fixation on inconsequential social norms is a way to structurally keep out non-white people who lack the cultural capital and privilege to know every one of these inane social rules we're supposed to perform to be granted the jobs and resources we fucking deserve. Jessica Liebman @jessicaliebman Hey, I wrote something!. I've been hiring people for 10 years, and I still swear by a simple rule: If someone doesn't send a thank you email, don't hire them. businessinsider.com/how-to-write-t.. Muqing M. Zhang @muqingmzhang Follow As people who lack white or class privilege know, not possessing this cultural capital causes intense anxiety and alienation. Networking events, office small talk, interviews are often dreadful experiences bc we're being judged according to rules that were set up for us to fail. Muqing M. Zhang @muqingmzhang Follow Everyone who has experienced the dread & anxiety of being in a room full of privileged white people and literally not knowing what they're talking about and second guessing everything you do, knows that these "proper politeness" rules are just a way to alienate & marginalize us. Muqing M. Zhang Follow muingmzhang These social norms of the dominant group create intense emotional strain for marginalized peoples. They cause immense mental labor for us to learn and mimic these behaviors, fear that resources will be withheld, and anxiety when we can't contort ourselves to fit their demands. smaug-official: uncommonbish:THISTHISTHIS, and linguistic prescriptivism also falls into this category. Completely pointless, historically arbitrary way to keep TALENT + MERIT as secondary qualifiers. “First impressions matter” my ass. Get Gen Xs out of hiring positions Bizarre social rules like these are literally so detrimental to autistic people trying to find work, I already struggle enough with the basics of social etiquette I don’t need weird rules like these to follow…
linguistic: Jessica Liebman
 ajessicaliebman
 Follow
 Hey, I wrote something! I've been hiring
 people for 10 years, and I still swear bya
 simple rule: If someone doesn't send a thank
 you email, don't hire them.
 I've been hiring people for 10 years, and I still swear by a simple rule: if s
 An executive managing editor who has hired hundreds of people believes
 candidates who send thank you emails show they want the job.
 businessinsider.com

 Muging M. Zhang
 @muqingmzhang
 Follow
 White people's fixation on
 inconsequential social norms is a way to
 structurally keep out non-white people
 who lack the cultural capital and
 privilege to know every one of these
 inane social rules we're supposed to
 perform to be granted the jobs and
 resources we fucking deserve.
 Jessica Liebman @jessicaliebman
 Hey, I wrote something!. I've been hiring people for 10 years, and I still
 swear by a simple rule: If someone doesn't send a thank you email, don't hire
 them. businessinsider.com/how-to-write-t..

 Muqing M. Zhang
 @muqingmzhang
 Follow
 As people who lack white or class
 privilege know, not possessing this
 cultural capital causes intense anxiety
 and alienation. Networking events, office
 small talk, interviews are often dreadful
 experiences bc we're being judged
 according to rules that were set up for us
 to fail.

 Muqing M. Zhang
 @muqingmzhang
 Follow
 Everyone who has experienced the dread
 & anxiety of being in a room full of
 privileged white people and literally not
 knowing what they're talking about and
 second guessing everything you do,
 knows that these "proper politeness"
 rules are just a way to alienate &
 marginalize us.

 Muqing M. Zhang
 Follow
 muingmzhang
 These social norms of the dominant
 group create intense emotional strain for
 marginalized peoples. They cause
 immense mental labor for us to learn and
 mimic these behaviors, fear that
 resources will be withheld, and anxiety
 when we can't contort ourselves to fit
 their demands.
smaug-official:

uncommonbish:THISTHISTHIS, and linguistic prescriptivism also falls into this category. Completely pointless, historically arbitrary way to keep TALENT + MERIT as secondary qualifiers. “First impressions matter” my ass. Get Gen Xs out of hiring positions

Bizarre social rules like these are literally so detrimental to autistic people trying to find work, I already struggle enough with the basics of social etiquette I don’t need weird rules like these to follow…

smaug-official: uncommonbish:THISTHISTHIS, and linguistic prescriptivism also falls into this category. Completely pointless, historical...

linguistic: HE WO MAN FE MALE HU MAN PER SON visual-poetry »swofehuperx by richard tipping (+) [vial mitosisisyourtosis men fabricated the idea that they are the default sex to compensate for their biological inferiority and general superfluousness this is not just the natural order this is the language of a patriarchal culture rhysiare Omg no, you are wrong on so many levels and as a linguist this makes me ache something terrible. In my linguistics dass in undergrad, we actually made fun of people who think like you along these lines and for good reason, because you are wholly ignorant and are choosing to spin narratives about things and fields which you know completely nothing about yet pretend you do. 1 She: This word evolved naturally from Old English from seo/heo which were just words to refer to feminine-female people evolving from Proto- Germanic words meaning that/there. He as a word evolved from the same ideas but Proto-Germanic words for thishere, Your idea of patriarchal language further falls apart when you compare this part of English to other Germanic languages, of which English is related, the words in German for he and she are 'er and sie", completely unrelated So it is by clear happenstance, not some patriarchal conspiracy that the words he and "she in English have similar form. 2. Woman: Oh god this one always gets my goat when people go for this one. Man did not used to mean "male", man used to mean humanity/human being, the old words in Old English for male adult person and female adult person were werman and wifman respectively, we can see this relation in words like werewolf and wife as being the remnants of the base "wer- and the base wif-. Woman evolved phonologically from the word wifman by natural processes where the 'f sound dropped and the became lax. Man dropped its wer stem for reasons mostly unknown but I can guarantee have nothing to do with patriarchy because phonological change has no basis in that. 3. Female: Male and Female actually come etymologically from two completely different words. Male comes from Old French masle which meant masculine, while Female came from Old French as well femella which meant young woman. This is another case, just like he and she where the words coincidentally ended up looking similar without having any direct correlation in historical linguistic processes to make them as such 4 Hman: This word etymologically derives from Proto-Indo- European "ghomon which means earthly being as opposed to heavenly being which would refer to gods. You have some small glimmer of hope here in that the word does eventually branch off into the word for man in some languages but this is still too small of a precedent to base any conspiratorial thinking like you are doing off of 5. Person: This one offends me the most, simply because I love the fuck out of Etruscan language and your continued ignorance just irks me at this point. Person derives from persona from Latin which meant the same meaning, which ultimately derived from phersu Etruscan for mask as Etruscans would often have theatre performers use masks to give identity to the performers. So never once did "person have any meaning to do with son So yes, this IS the natural order or language. Please never proselytise your faulty ideology and misandrist thinking within speaking about word origins and morphology again, as unless you actually do fact checking I will school the everloving hell out of you, stay in vour lane. Swofehuper He Man Male Manson
linguistic: HE
 WO MAN
 FE MALE
 HU MAN
 PER SON
 visual-poetry
 »swofehuperx by richard tipping (+)
 [vial
 mitosisisyourtosis
 men fabricated the idea that they are the default sex to compensate for their
 biological inferiority and general superfluousness
 this is not just the natural order this is the language of a patriarchal culture
 rhysiare
 Omg no, you are wrong on so many levels and as a linguist this makes me
 ache something terrible. In my linguistics dass in undergrad, we actually made
 fun of people who think like you along these lines and for good reason,
 because you are wholly ignorant and are choosing to spin narratives about
 things and fields which you know completely nothing about yet pretend you do.
 1 She: This word evolved naturally from Old English from seo/heo which
 were just words to refer to feminine-female people evolving from Proto-
 Germanic words meaning that/there. He as a word evolved from the
 same ideas but Proto-Germanic words for thishere, Your idea of
 patriarchal language further falls apart when you compare this part of
 English to other Germanic languages, of which English is related, the
 words in German for he and she are 'er and sie", completely unrelated
 So it is by clear happenstance, not some patriarchal conspiracy that the
 words he and "she in English have similar form.
 2. Woman: Oh god this one always gets my goat when people go for this
 one. Man did not used to mean "male", man used to
 mean humanity/human being, the old words in Old English for male
 adult person and female adult person were werman and wifman
 respectively, we can see this relation in words like werewolf and wife as
 being the remnants of the base "wer- and the base wif-. Woman
 evolved phonologically from the word wifman by natural processes
 where the 'f sound dropped and the became lax. Man dropped
 its wer stem for reasons mostly unknown but I can guarantee have
 nothing to do with patriarchy because phonological change has no
 basis in that.
 3. Female: Male and Female actually come etymologically from two
 completely different words. Male comes from Old French masle which
 meant masculine, while Female came from Old French as well femella
 which meant young woman. This is another case, just like he and she
 where the words coincidentally ended up looking similar without having
 any direct correlation in historical linguistic processes to make them as
 such
 4 Hman: This word etymologically derives from Proto-Indo-
 European "ghomon which means earthly being as opposed to heavenly
 being which would refer to gods. You have some small glimmer of hope
 here in that the word does eventually branch off into the word for man
 in some languages but this is still too small of a precedent to base any
 conspiratorial thinking like you are doing off of
 5. Person: This one offends me the most, simply because I love the fuck
 out of Etruscan language and your continued ignorance just irks me at
 this point. Person derives from persona from Latin which meant the
 same meaning, which ultimately derived from phersu Etruscan
 for mask as Etruscans would often have theatre performers use masks
 to give identity to the performers. So never once did "person have any
 meaning to do with son So yes, this IS the natural order or language.
 Please never proselytise your faulty ideology and misandrist thinking within
 speaking about word origins and morphology again, as unless you actually do
 fact checking I will school the everloving hell out of you, stay in vour lane.
Swofehuper He Man Male Manson

Swofehuper He Man Male Manson

linguistic: fuckingflying I hate linguistic anthropology. Why? One of the most influential experiments in linguistic anthropology involved teaching a chimp asl. One of the most influential linguistics is named Noam Chomsky. You know what the chimp's name was? Nim Chimpsky Fucking monkey purn And this is in textbooks, in documentaries, everywhere. And everyone just IGNORES THIS GOD AWFUL PUN cause of how important the experiment was. But BUT LOOK AT THIS SHIT. FUCKING NIM CHIMPSKY. I HATE THIS WHOLE FIELD. dendritic-trees Its not just the linguistic anthropologists. There's a group of very important genes that determine if your body develops in the right shape/ organization... they are called the hedgehog genes, because fruit fly geneticists are all ridiculous. The different hedgehog genes are all named after different hedgehogs. And then someone decided to get clever and name one "sonic hedgehog" because this is just what fruitfly geneticists do. Well sonic hedgehog controls brain development, and now actual doctors are stuck in the position of explaining to grieving parents that their child's lethal birth defects or life-threatening tumors are caused by a "sonic hedgehog mutation". And this is why no one will invite the fruit fly people to parties error-404-fuck-not-found Biogeochemical scientists, upon discovering the complex mechanisms that govern the storage and use of molecular iron on our planet, decided to call this cycle "the ferrous wheel" We groaned about that for at least five solid minutes. callmegallifreya The phenomenon of sneezing when exposed to sudden bright light is called an Autosomal-dominant Compelling Helio Opthalmic Outburst. ACHOO Half a byte of data is a nibble. theactualcluegirl An unidentified, repetitive computer error is called a Bug, because the first one of those they discovered to be the fault of a moth fluttering against the vacuum tubes I think we need to admit that academics and engineers are lonely, stressed people whose brains go funny places when deprived of sleep and fed too much coffee instead sonic hedgehog
linguistic: fuckingflying
 I hate linguistic anthropology. Why?
 One of the most influential experiments
 in linguistic anthropology involved
 teaching a chimp asl. One of the most
 influential linguistics is named Noam
 Chomsky. You know what the chimp's
 name was?
 Nim Chimpsky
 Fucking monkey purn
 And this is in textbooks, in
 documentaries, everywhere. And
 everyone just IGNORES THIS GOD
 AWFUL PUN cause of how important
 the experiment was. But
 BUT LOOK AT THIS SHIT. FUCKING NIM
 CHIMPSKY. I HATE THIS WHOLE FIELD.
 dendritic-trees
 Its not just the linguistic
 anthropologists.
 There's a group of very important
 genes that determine if your body
 develops in the right shape/
 organization... they are called the
 hedgehog genes, because fruit fly
 geneticists are all ridiculous. The
 different hedgehog genes are all named
 after different hedgehogs. And then
 someone decided to get clever and
 name one "sonic hedgehog" because
 this is just what fruitfly geneticists do.
 Well sonic hedgehog controls brain
 development, and now actual doctors
 are stuck in the position of explaining to
 grieving parents that their child's lethal
 birth defects or life-threatening tumors
 are caused by a "sonic hedgehog
 mutation".
 And this is why no one will invite the
 fruit fly people to parties
 error-404-fuck-not-found
 Biogeochemical scientists, upon
 discovering the complex mechanisms
 that govern the storage and use of
 molecular iron on our planet, decided to
 call this cycle "the ferrous wheel" We
 groaned about that for at least five solid
 minutes.
 callmegallifreya
 The phenomenon of sneezing when
 exposed to sudden bright light is called
 an Autosomal-dominant Compelling
 Helio Opthalmic Outburst. ACHOO
 Half a byte of data is a nibble.
 theactualcluegirl
 An unidentified, repetitive computer
 error is called a Bug, because the first
 one of those they discovered to be the
 fault of a moth fluttering against the
 vacuum tubes
 I think we need to admit that academics
 and engineers are lonely, stressed
 people whose brains go funny places
 when deprived of sleep and fed too
 much coffee instead
sonic hedgehog

sonic hedgehog

linguistic: how to tell when a bilingual character was not written by a bilingual person 101 "Hola ¿Qué pasa?" Lance said "Uh...what?" "Ah, sorry. It's hard to switch back sometimes. What's up?" He corrected gunvolt im going to have a stroke prideling Instead try Person A: You know... the thing Person B: The "thing"? Person A: Yeah, the thing with the little-! "mutters under their breath* Como es que se llama esa mierda... THE FISHING ROD artykyn As someone with multiple bilingual friends where English is not the first language, may I present to you a list of actual incidents l have witnessed .Forgot a word in Spanish, while speaking Spanish to me, but remembered it in English. Became weirdly quiet as they seemed to lose their entire sense of identity e Used a literal translation of a Russian idiomatic expression while speaking English. He actually does this quite regularly, because he somehow genuinely forgets which idioms belong to which language. It usually takes a minute of everyone staring at him in confused silence before he says ...Ah.... that must be a Russian one then...." . Had to count backwards for something. Could not count backwards in English. Counted backwards in French under her breath until she got to the number she needed, and then translated it into English. e Meant to inform her (French) parents that bread in America is baked with a lot of preservatives. Her brain was still halfway in English Mode so she used the word "préservatifes." Ended up shocking her parents with the knowledge that apparently, bread in America is full of condoms . Defined a slang term for me....... with another slang term. In the same language. Which I do not speak. . Was talking to both me and his mother in English when his mother had to revert to Russian to ask him a question about a word. He said "I don't know" and turned to me and asked "ls there an English equivalent for Нумизматический?" and it took him a solid minute to realize there was no way I would be able to answer that. Meanwhile his mom quietly chuckled behind his back . Said an expression in English but with Spanish grammar, which turned "How stressful!" into "What stressing! Bilingual characters are great but if you're going to use a linguistic blunder, you have to really understand what they actually blunder over. And it's usually 10x funnier than "Ooops it's hard to switch back. s drearncatcher37 Source gunvolt 287,537 notes May 16th, 2017 Bilingual
linguistic: how to tell when a bilingual character was
 not written by a bilingual person 101
 "Hola ¿Qué pasa?" Lance said
 "Uh...what?"
 "Ah, sorry. It's hard to switch back sometimes. What's
 up?" He corrected
 gunvolt
 im going to have a stroke
 prideling
 Instead try
 Person A: You know... the thing
 Person B: The "thing"?
 Person A: Yeah, the thing with the little-! "mutters under their breath*
 Como es que se llama esa mierda... THE FISHING ROD
 artykyn
 As someone with multiple bilingual friends where English is not
 the first language, may I present to you a list of actual incidents l
 have witnessed
 .Forgot a word in Spanish, while speaking Spanish to me, but
 remembered it in English. Became weirdly quiet as they seemed
 to lose their entire sense of identity
 e Used a literal translation of a Russian idiomatic expression while
 speaking English. He actually does this quite regularly, because
 he somehow genuinely forgets which idioms belong to which
 language. It usually takes a minute of everyone staring at him in
 confused silence before he says ...Ah.... that must be a
 Russian one then...."
 . Had to count backwards for something. Could not count
 backwards in English. Counted backwards in French under her
 breath until she got to the number she needed, and then
 translated it into English.
 e Meant to inform her (French) parents that bread in America is
 baked with a lot of preservatives. Her brain was still halfway in
 English Mode so she used the word "préservatifes." Ended up
 shocking her parents with the knowledge that apparently, bread
 in America is full of condoms
 . Defined a slang term for me....... with another slang term. In the
 same language. Which I do not speak.
 . Was talking to both me and his mother in English when his
 mother had to revert to Russian to ask him a question about a
 word. He said "I don't know" and turned to me and asked "ls
 there an English equivalent for Нумизматический?" and it took
 him a solid minute to realize there was no way I would be able to
 answer that. Meanwhile his mom quietly chuckled behind his
 back
 . Said an expression in English but with Spanish grammar, which
 turned "How stressful!" into "What stressing!
 Bilingual characters are great but if you're going to use a linguistic
 blunder, you have to really understand what they actually blunder over.
 And it's usually 10x funnier than "Ooops it's hard to switch back.
 s drearncatcher37 Source gunvolt
 287,537 notes
 May 16th, 2017
Bilingual

Bilingual

linguistic: mothman @LEVKAWA how to tell when a bilingual character was not written by a bilingual person 101 "Hola ¿Qué pasa?" Lance said. "Uh...what?" "Ah, sorry. It's hard to switch back sometimes. What's up?" He corrected <p><a href="http://artykyn.tumblr.com/post/160134767689/prideling-gunvolt-im-going-to-have-a-stroke" class="tumblr_blog">artykyn</a>:</p><blockquote> <p><a href="http://prideling.tumblr.com/post/156129759362/gunvolt-im-going-to-have-a-stroke" class="tumblr_blog">prideling</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a href="https://gunvolt.tumblr.com/post/156087107428/im-going-to-have-a-stroke" class="tumblr_blog">gunvolt</a>:</p> <blockquote><p>im going to have a stroke</p></blockquote> <p>Instead try…<br/><br/><b>Person A:</b> You know… the thing<br/><b>Person B:</b> The “thing”?<br/><b>Person A: </b>Yeah, the thing with the little-! *mutters under their breath* <i>Como es que se llama esa mierda</i>… THE FISHING ROD</p> </blockquote> <p><b>As someone with multiple bilingual friends where English is not the first language, may I present to you a list of actual incidents I have witnessed:</b></p> <ul><li>Forgot a word in Spanish, while speaking Spanish to me, but remembered it in English. Became weirdly quiet as they seemed to lose their entire sense of identity.</li></ul><ul><li>Used a literal translation of a Russian idiomatic expression while speaking English. He actually does this quite regularly, because he somehow genuinely forgets which idioms belong to which language. It usually takes a minute of everyone staring at him in confused silence before he says “….Ah….. that must be a Russian one then….”</li></ul><ul><li>Had to count backwards for something. Could not count backwards in English. Counted backwards in French under her breath until she got to the number she needed, and then translated it into English.</li></ul><ul><li>Meant to inform her (French) parents that bread in America is baked with a lot of preservatives. Her brain was still halfway in English Mode so she used the word “préservatifes.” Ended up shocking her parents with the knowledge that apparently, bread in America is full of condoms.</li></ul><ul><li>Defined a slang term for me……. with another slang term. In the same language. Which I do not speak.</li></ul><ul><li>Was talking to both me and his mother in English when his mother had to revert to Russian to ask him a question about a word. He said “I don’t know” and turned to me and asked “<i><b>Is</b></i> there an English equivalent for Нумизматический?” and it took him a solid minute to realize there was no way I would be able to answer that. Meanwhile his mom quietly chuckled behind his back.</li></ul><ul><li>Said an expression in English but with Spanish grammar, which turned “How stressful!” into <i>“What stressing!”</i> </li></ul><p>Bilingual characters are great but if you’re going to use a linguistic blunder, you have to really understand what they actually blunder over. And it’s usually 10x funnier than “Ooops it’s hard to switch back.”</p> </blockquote>
linguistic: mothman
 @LEVKAWA
 how to tell when a bilingual character was
 not written by a bilingual person 101
 "Hola ¿Qué pasa?" Lance said.
 "Uh...what?"
 "Ah, sorry. It's hard to switch back sometimes. What's
 up?" He corrected
<p><a href="http://artykyn.tumblr.com/post/160134767689/prideling-gunvolt-im-going-to-have-a-stroke" class="tumblr_blog">artykyn</a>:</p><blockquote>
<p><a href="http://prideling.tumblr.com/post/156129759362/gunvolt-im-going-to-have-a-stroke" class="tumblr_blog">prideling</a>:</p>
<blockquote>
<p><a href="https://gunvolt.tumblr.com/post/156087107428/im-going-to-have-a-stroke" class="tumblr_blog">gunvolt</a>:</p>
<blockquote><p>im going to have a stroke</p></blockquote>
<p>Instead try…<br/><br/><b>Person A:</b> You know… the thing<br/><b>Person B:</b> The “thing”?<br/><b>Person A: </b>Yeah, the thing with the little-! *mutters under their breath* <i>Como es que se llama esa mierda</i>… THE FISHING ROD</p>
</blockquote>
<p><b>As someone with multiple bilingual friends where English is not the first language, may I present to you a list of actual incidents I have witnessed:</b></p>
<ul><li>Forgot a word in Spanish, while speaking Spanish to me, but remembered it in English. Became weirdly quiet as they seemed to lose their entire sense of identity.</li></ul><ul><li>Used a literal translation of a Russian idiomatic expression while speaking English. He actually does this quite regularly, because he somehow genuinely forgets which idioms belong to which language. It usually takes a minute of everyone staring at him in confused silence before he says “….Ah….. that must be a Russian one then….”</li></ul><ul><li>Had to count backwards for something. Could not count backwards in English. Counted backwards in French under her breath until she got to the number she needed, and then translated it into English.</li></ul><ul><li>Meant to inform her (French) parents that bread in America is baked with a lot of preservatives. Her brain was still halfway in English Mode so she used the word “préservatifes.” Ended up shocking her parents with the knowledge that apparently, bread in America is full of condoms.</li></ul><ul><li>Defined a slang term for me……. with another slang term. In the same language. Which I do not speak.</li></ul><ul><li>Was talking to both me and his mother in English when his mother had to revert to Russian to ask him a question about a word. He said “I don’t know” and turned to me and asked “<i><b>Is</b></i> there an English equivalent for Нумизматический?” and it took him a solid minute to realize there was no way I would be able to answer that. Meanwhile his mom quietly chuckled behind his back.</li></ul><ul><li>Said an expression in English but with Spanish grammar, which turned “How stressful!” into <i>“What stressing!”</i>
</li></ul><p>Bilingual characters are great but if you’re going to use a linguistic blunder, you have to really understand what they actually blunder over. And it’s usually 10x funnier than “Ooops it’s hard to switch back.”</p>
</blockquote>

<p><a href="http://artykyn.tumblr.com/post/160134767689/prideling-gunvolt-im-going-to-have-a-stroke" class="tumblr_blog">artykyn</a>:</p>...

linguistic: mothman @LEVKAWA how to tell when a bilingual character was not written by a bilingual person 101 "Hola ¿Qué pasa?" Lance said. "Uh...what?" "Ah, sorry. It's hard to switch back sometimes. What's up?" He corrected kalidels: misdiagnosed-ghost: rrojasandribbons: cobaltmoony: silentwalrus1: justgot1: cricketcat9: artykyn: prideling: gunvolt: im going to have a stroke Instead try…Person A: You know… the thingPerson B: The “thing”?Person A: Yeah, the thing with the little-! *mutters under their breath* Como es que se llama esa mierda… THE FISHING ROD As someone with multiple bilingual friends where English is not the first language, may I present to you a list of actual incidents I have witnessed: Forgot a word in Spanish, while speaking Spanish to me, but remembered it in English. Became weirdly quiet as they seemed to lose their entire sense of identity.Used a literal translation of a Russian idiomatic expression while speaking English. He actually does this quite regularly, because he somehow genuinely forgets which idioms belong to which language. It usually takes a minute of everyone staring at him in confused silence before he says “….Ah….. that must be a Russian one then….”Had to count backwards for something. Could not count backwards in English. Counted backwards in French under her breath until she got to the number she needed, and then translated it into English.Meant to inform her (French) parents that bread in America is baked with a lot of preservatives. Her brain was still halfway in English Mode so she used the word “préservatifes.” Ended up shocking her parents with the knowledge that apparently, bread in America is full of condoms.Defined a slang term for me……. with another slang term. In the same language. Which I do not speak.Was talking to both me and his mother in English when his mother had to revert to Russian to ask him a question about a word. He said “I don’t know” and turned to me and asked “Is there an English equivalent for Нумизматический?” and it took him a solid minute to realize there was no way I would be able to answer that. Meanwhile his mom quietly chuckled behind his back.Said an expression in English but with Spanish grammar, which turned “How stressful!” into “What stressing!” Bilingual characters are great but if you’re going to use a linguistic blunder, you have to really understand what they actually blunder over. And it’s usually 10x funnier than “Ooops it’s hard to switch back.” I use Spanish and English daily, none is my native language. When I’m tired or did not have enough sleep I loose track of who to address in which language;  I caught myself explaining something in Spanish to my English-speaking friends more than once. When I’m REALLY tired I’ll throw some Polish words in the mix.  There is nothing more painful than bad fake Spanglish by an American writer. Bilingual people don’t just randomly drop words in nonsensical places in their sentences ffs. “I’m muy tired! I think I’ll go to my cama and go to sleep!“ Nobody does that. From my bilingual parents: - Only being able to do math in their original language. “Ok so that would beeeeee … *muttering* ocho por cuatro menos tres…” - Losing words and getting mad at you about it. “Gimme the - the - UGH, ESA COSA AHI’ CARAJO. The thing, the oven mitt. Christ.” - Making asides to you in Spanish even though you’ve told them to not do this as lots of people here speak Spanish. “Oye, mira esa, que cara fea.” “MOM FFS WE’RE IN A MEXICAN NEIGHBORHOOD.” - Swears in English don’t count. - Swears in Spanish mean you’d better fucking run, kid. - Introducing you to English-only Americans using your Spanish name so that they mispronounce your name for all eternity because that’s what your mom said your name was. “Hi Dee-yanna!” “sigh, Just call me Diana.” “Yeah but your mom said your name was Dee-yanna.”  - Your parents give you a name that only makes sense in Spanish. “Your name is Floor?” “No, my name is Flor.” “FLOOR?” “Sigh.”  - conjugating English words with Russian grammar and vice versa. Sometimes both at once, which is extra fun.  самолет -  самолетас -  самолетасы - when vice versa, dropping English articles entirely. The, a, an: all gone. e.g. “I go to store and buy thing, I fix car and go to place.” This also happens when i am very tired  - speaking English with heavy accent you don’t actually have - when my family and I are switching over fast, we say the English words in a very heavy Russian accent that mostly doesn’t show up otherwise  bonus:  - keysmashing in the wrong language when your keyboard is still switched over - using ))))) instead of :))) or other culture-specific emoji/typing quirks all of the above OMG. THIS.  -switching from Romanes to English and forgetting that articles exist because Romanes doesn’t always use them-starting to say a word in one language and trying to smoothly transition it to another language: n…oooooo, thank you is probably my most common-using English profanity when speaking Romanes-using Romanes profanity when speaking English.. that’s how you know I am angry-the over extension of the word “not” in English that comes out something like this; “I have not cash on me”.-counting in my head in Romanes always, but math always in English, which might explain my bad math skills-drunk accents.. I have a heavy accent when drunk.. and only when drunk-substituting Romani words when trying to speak in Serbian even when the other speaker is bilingual in English-aspirating English phonemes that are not meant to be aspirated -accidentally pronouncing the English “i” sounds as “ee”.. I have a dog named Snickers and everyone thinks her name is Sneakers-describing objects in detail, but forgetting the actual name of it in your target language; dzhanes, ‘odaji glazhuni.. thaj zhamija si ‘oda.. ejjjjj.. dikhes perdal oda.. ejjjj.. ekh… feljastra! Ekh feljastra! -”the thing” in both languages.. -except e buki also means “the work”, and o kasavo mean “such”, or “like this”, so in English I mean to say “the thing”, but I really say “the this, you know, this, this, this, the thingy.” But, it sounds like, “da dis, you know, dis, dis, dis, da tingy.”-subject verb agreement doesn’t exist when switching languages; ^^see above.. that was not an intentional mistake-“is mine” to mean “I have”; “Dog is mine” = “I have a dog” I could keep going.. but, yea, bilingual quirks are waaaay better and funnier when you actually understand how they work and the grammar quirks of both target languages.  I always fucking forget the word “chess”???? And I sit there saying шахматы over and over to myself until I finally remember it in English. blunders also happen when they have to note down something real quick or take lectures! my notes when I was in Italy for my exchange year are incomprehensible to basically everyone lmao it’s a huge jumble of thai, english, and italian. because sometimes it’s easier to just write down a concept in english rather than have to translate it back to your native language! also while I was there I spent a day with an american friend and when we were saying goodbye to each other this literally happened: “well have a safe trip home!! I’ll see you….. um…. dopo… dopo.. dopo.. LATER! LATER!! I’LL SEE YOU LATER”
linguistic: mothman
 @LEVKAWA
 how to tell when a bilingual character was
 not written by a bilingual person 101
 "Hola ¿Qué pasa?" Lance said.
 "Uh...what?"
 "Ah, sorry. It's hard to switch back sometimes. What's
 up?" He corrected
kalidels:

misdiagnosed-ghost:

rrojasandribbons:

cobaltmoony:

silentwalrus1:

justgot1:

cricketcat9:

artykyn:

prideling:

gunvolt:
im going to have a stroke
Instead try…Person A: You know… the thingPerson B: The “thing”?Person A: Yeah, the thing with the little-! *mutters under their breath* Como es que se llama esa mierda… THE FISHING ROD

As someone with multiple bilingual friends where English is not the first language, may I present to you a list of actual incidents I have witnessed:
Forgot a word in Spanish, while speaking Spanish to me, but remembered it in English. Became weirdly quiet as they seemed to lose their entire sense of identity.Used a literal translation of a Russian idiomatic expression while speaking English. He actually does this quite regularly, because he somehow genuinely forgets which idioms belong to which language. It usually takes a minute of everyone staring at him in confused silence before he says “….Ah….. that must be a Russian one then….”Had to count backwards for something. Could not count backwards in English. Counted backwards in French under her breath until she got to the number she needed, and then translated it into English.Meant to inform her (French) parents that bread in America is baked with a lot of preservatives. Her brain was still halfway in English Mode so she used the word “préservatifes.” Ended up shocking her parents with the knowledge that apparently, bread in America is full of condoms.Defined a slang term for me……. with another slang term. In the same language. Which I do not speak.Was talking to both me and his mother in English when his mother had to revert to Russian to ask him a question about a word. He said “I don’t know” and turned to me and asked “Is there an English equivalent for Нумизматический?” and it took him a solid minute to realize there was no way I would be able to answer that. Meanwhile his mom quietly chuckled behind his back.Said an expression in English but with Spanish grammar, which turned “How stressful!” into “What stressing!”
Bilingual characters are great but if you’re going to use a linguistic blunder, you have to really understand what they actually blunder over. And it’s usually 10x funnier than “Ooops it’s hard to switch back.”

I use Spanish and English daily, none is my native language. When I’m tired or did not have enough sleep I loose track of who to address in which language;  I caught myself explaining something in Spanish to my English-speaking friends more than once. When I’m REALLY tired I’ll throw some Polish words in the mix. 

There is nothing more painful than bad fake Spanglish by an American writer. Bilingual people don’t just randomly drop words in nonsensical places in their sentences ffs. “I’m muy tired! I think I’ll go to my cama and go to sleep!“ Nobody does that.
From my bilingual parents:
- Only being able to do math in their original language. “Ok so that would beeeeee … *muttering* ocho por cuatro menos tres…”
- Losing words and getting mad at you about it. “Gimme the - the - UGH, ESA COSA AHI’ CARAJO. The thing, the oven mitt. Christ.”
- Making asides to you in Spanish even though you’ve told them to not do this as lots of people here speak Spanish. “Oye, mira esa, que cara fea.” “MOM FFS WE’RE IN A MEXICAN NEIGHBORHOOD.”
- Swears in English don’t count.
- Swears in Spanish mean you’d better fucking run, kid.
- Introducing you to English-only Americans using your Spanish name so that they mispronounce your name for all eternity because that’s what your mom said your name was. “Hi Dee-yanna!” “sigh, Just call me Diana.” “Yeah but your mom said your name was Dee-yanna.” 
- Your parents give you a name that only makes sense in Spanish. “Your name is Floor?” “No, my name is Flor.” “FLOOR?” “Sigh.”

 - conjugating English words with Russian grammar and vice versa. Sometimes both at once, which is extra fun. 
самолет - 
самолетас - 

самолетасы
- when vice versa, dropping English articles entirely. The, a, an: all gone. e.g. “I go to store and buy thing, I fix car and go to place.” This also happens when i am very tired 
- speaking English with heavy accent you don’t actually have - when my family and I are switching over fast, we say the English words in a very heavy Russian accent that mostly doesn’t show up otherwise 
bonus: 
- keysmashing in the wrong language when your keyboard is still switched over
- using ))))) instead of :))) or other culture-specific emoji/typing quirks

all of the above

OMG. THIS. 
-switching from Romanes to English and forgetting that articles exist because Romanes doesn’t always use them-starting to say a word in one language and trying to smoothly transition it to another language: n…oooooo, thank you is probably my most common-using English profanity when speaking Romanes-using Romanes profanity when speaking English.. that’s how you know I am angry-the over extension of the word “not” in English that comes out something like this; “I have not cash on me”.-counting in my head in Romanes always, but math always in English, which might explain my bad math skills-drunk accents.. I have a heavy accent when drunk.. and only when drunk-substituting Romani words when trying to speak in Serbian even when the other speaker is bilingual in English-aspirating English phonemes that are not meant to be aspirated -accidentally pronouncing the English “i” sounds as “ee”.. I have a dog named Snickers and everyone thinks her name is Sneakers-describing objects in detail, but forgetting the actual name of it in your target language; dzhanes, ‘odaji glazhuni.. thaj zhamija si ‘oda.. ejjjjj.. dikhes perdal oda.. ejjjj.. ekh… feljastra! Ekh feljastra! -”the thing” in both languages.. -except e buki also means “the work”, and o kasavo mean “such”, or “like this”, so in English I mean to say “the thing”, but I really say “the this, you know, this, this, this, the thingy.” But, it sounds like, “da dis, you know, dis, dis, dis, da tingy.”-subject verb agreement doesn’t exist when switching languages; ^^see above.. that was not an intentional mistake-“is mine” to mean “I have”; “Dog is mine” = “I have a dog”
I could keep going.. but, yea, bilingual quirks are waaaay better and funnier when you actually understand how they work and the grammar quirks of both target languages. 

I always fucking forget the word “chess”???? And I sit there saying шахматы over and over to myself until I finally remember it in English.

blunders also happen when they have to note down something real quick or take lectures! my notes when I was in Italy for my exchange year are incomprehensible to basically everyone lmao it’s a huge jumble of thai, english, and italian. because sometimes it’s easier to just write down a concept in english rather than have to translate it back to your native language!
also while I was there I spent a day with an american friend and when we were saying goodbye to each other this literally happened: “well have a safe trip home!! I’ll see you….. um…. dopo… dopo.. dopo.. LATER! LATER!! I’LL SEE YOU LATER”

kalidels: misdiagnosed-ghost: rrojasandribbons: cobaltmoony: silentwalrus1: justgot1: cricketcat9: artykyn: prideling: gunvolt:...

linguistic: How English has changed over the last 1000 years: the 23rd Psalm Modern (1989) The Lord is my shepherd, I lack nothing. He lets me lie down in green pastures. He leads me to still waters. King James Bible (1611) The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want. He maketh me to lie down in green pastures. He leadeth me beside the still waters. Middle English (1100-1500) Our Lord gouerneth me, and nothyng shal defailen to me. In the sted of pastur he sett me ther. He norissed me upon water of fyllyng. Old English (800-1066) Drihten me raet, ne byth me nanes godes wan. And he me geset on swythe good feohland. And fedde me be waetera stathum. <p><a href="http://beautifultoastdream.tumblr.com/post/161705069315/denchgang-bluecaptions-how-english-has" class="tumblr_blog">beautifultoastdream</a>:</p><blockquote> <p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://denchgang.tumblr.com/post/101691093668">denchgang</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://bluecaptions.tumblr.com/post/93200195150">bluecaptions</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p>How English has changed in the past 1000 years.</p> </blockquote> <p>the big mans a lad i have fuck all, he lets me have a kip in a field he showed me a pond </p> </blockquote> <p>I think my favorite part is how the first three are totally comprehensible to a modern reader, and then the fourth one is just “Wait, what?” You can practically see where William the Conqueror came crashing into linguistic history like the Kool-Aid Man, hollering about French grammar and the letter Q.</p> </blockquote>
linguistic: How English has changed over the last
 1000 years: the 23rd Psalm
 Modern (1989)
 The Lord is my shepherd, I lack nothing.
 He lets me lie down in green pastures.
 He leads me to still waters.
 King James Bible (1611)
 The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want.
 He maketh me to lie down in green pastures.
 He leadeth me beside the still waters.
 Middle English (1100-1500)
 Our Lord gouerneth me, and nothyng shal defailen to me.
 In the sted of pastur he sett me ther.
 He norissed me upon water of fyllyng.
 Old English (800-1066)
 Drihten me raet, ne byth me nanes godes wan.
 And he me geset on swythe good feohland.
 And fedde me be waetera stathum.
<p><a href="http://beautifultoastdream.tumblr.com/post/161705069315/denchgang-bluecaptions-how-english-has" class="tumblr_blog">beautifultoastdream</a>:</p><blockquote>
<p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://denchgang.tumblr.com/post/101691093668">denchgang</a>:</p>
<blockquote>
<p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://bluecaptions.tumblr.com/post/93200195150">bluecaptions</a>:</p>
<blockquote>
<p>How English has changed in the past 1000 years.</p>
</blockquote>
<p>the big mans a lad i have fuck all, he lets me have a kip in a field he showed me a pond </p>
</blockquote>
<p>I think my favorite part is how the first three are totally comprehensible to a modern reader, and then the fourth one is just “Wait, what?” You can practically see where William the Conqueror came crashing into linguistic history like the Kool-Aid Man, hollering about French grammar and the letter Q.</p>
</blockquote>

<p><a href="http://beautifultoastdream.tumblr.com/post/161705069315/denchgang-bluecaptions-how-english-has" class="tumblr_blog">beautiful...

linguistic: G13 LELY amatalefay: spaceisprettycool: wildestranger: sashayed: lierdumoa: sashayed: sashayed: sashayed: lierdumoa: sashayed: sashayed: My name is Calfe& Im too youngto know yet what do with my Toung!So till my Mom say“Dont Do That!”Ill stick it outAnd lik this cat. My little Calfe,Im proud of yu–yur living likethe Big Cows do.Yur doing justwhat Mom have said–for yu lik cat,and cat  lik bred. Bad meme execution. 0/5 stars. These poems are supposed to be imitative of 17th/18th century middle English poetry (pre-dating dictionaries and formalized spelling conventions) not early 2000s chatspeak, not babytalk. These poems are also supposed to be in iambic diameter, giving them a pleasing songlike rhythm. The above has inconsistent syllabic structure from line to line. These attributes are clearly illustrated in the prime: So tired of people on this website and their flagrant disregard for syllabic structure. No respect for the craft. 1. first of all, how dare you. i would never, N E V E R, put forth a cow poem with inconsistent syllabic structure. these may not be my finest work, but the iambic dimeter is IMPECCABLE. check my scansion again and come back to me. I guess “know what do yet” is not ideal, but it falls within the constraints of the form. i’m genuinely appalled by this. i have SEEN inconsistent scansion in this meme, i do NOT approve of it and i have NOT done it. how dare you. HOW DAR EYOU!!! Secondly: it is not absurd to suppose that the linguistic constraints of a Cow Poem would depend on the figure to whom Cow speaks. In the original (and perfect) “i lik the bred,” the narrative cow, like a Chaucerian non-characterized narrator, directs her speech to an imagined and unspecific listener; not to “the men,” who are characters within the poem, but to some more general audience. (See the Canterbury Tales prologue for an example of this voice in action.)  Later, poem_for_your_sprog has Cow address contemporaries like “dog.” You will notice that the voice of Cow varies slightly, in speaking to Dog, from her voice in the original “I lik the bred.” WHY, then, can we not extrapolate that Calfe – who is, after all, a narrator of limited capacity, being only a Baby Cow with a Baby Cow’s simplicity – would have its own variant voice? And why, too, would Cow not speak differently to her own Calfe than she does to an animal peer, or to reverent imaginary auditors? These are experiments within an emerging form – flawed experiments, certainly, but not mistakes ipso facto. Again: HOW DARE YOU!!!!!!!! my name is Cow,and as yu see,its worth yor tiymeto studye me.but if yu dontlike what yu red,take 2 deep brethsand lik the bred. I am willing to concede on second reading that the syllabic structure is passable, and in that regard I’ve wrongly impugned the integrity of your work, however I maintain that your Frankenstinian amalgam of fake middle English with fake modern American baby talk is thoroughly unconvincing as either middle English or as modern American baby talk. It’s an aesthetic failure, IMH(inh)O* You’ve created the linguistic equivalent of a spork — vitiating two perfectly serviceable tools by attempting to fuse them. Writing ‘till mothere says / do not do that,’ would have conveyed roughly the same idea without feeling quite so awkwardly anachronistic. My name is Rave,and I can seeyou’re bent on pa-tronizing me!”Anachronistic”frankly seems a misplaced word to use of memes.But since you want to start that fight,let’s step outsideand do this right. Dude: if you want to not get wreckedyou’d better get your facts correct. Like, “Mothere,” friend,is not a wordthat Geoffrey Chau-cer ever heard.*(*”Mooder” would be period-accurate, and also a good cow word.)What’s more, the “eight-teenth century”has zip to do with, um, “M.E.”And it’s not spelled“diameter.”What are you, pal,an amateur? I am not Chauceror John Donnebut if you tryto spoil my funwith words you learnedin English class – don’t come for me. I’ll kik yur ass. I don’t think someone who thinks Middle English happened in the seventeenth century ought to be schooling others. “17th/18th century middle English” My name is Geoff,John Chaucer’s sonne,and I my lyfe’scours have runne.Engelish tongesare now divers,so pedants, kis my naked ers
linguistic: G13
 LELY
amatalefay:
spaceisprettycool:

wildestranger:

sashayed:

lierdumoa:

sashayed:

sashayed:

sashayed:

lierdumoa:

sashayed:

sashayed:
My name is Calfe& Im too youngto know yet what do with my Toung!So till my Mom say“Dont Do That!”Ill stick it outAnd lik this cat.
My little Calfe,Im proud of yu–yur living likethe Big Cows do.Yur doing justwhat Mom have said–for yu lik cat,and cat 
lik bred.

Bad meme execution. 0/5 stars.
These poems are supposed to be imitative of 17th/18th century middle English poetry (pre-dating dictionaries and formalized spelling conventions) not early 2000s chatspeak, not babytalk.
These poems are also supposed to be in iambic diameter, giving them a pleasing songlike rhythm. The above has inconsistent syllabic structure from line to line.
These attributes are clearly illustrated in the prime:
So tired of people on this website and their flagrant disregard for syllabic structure.
No respect for the craft.

1. first of all, how dare you. i would never, N E V E R, put forth a cow poem with inconsistent syllabic structure. these may not be my finest work, but the iambic dimeter is IMPECCABLE. check my scansion again and come back to me. I guess “know what do yet” is not ideal, but it falls within the constraints of the form. i’m genuinely appalled by this. i have SEEN inconsistent scansion in this meme, i do NOT approve of it and i have NOT done it. how dare you. HOW DAR EYOU!!!

Secondly: it is not absurd to suppose that the linguistic constraints of a Cow Poem would depend on the figure to whom Cow speaks. In the original (and perfect) “i lik the bred,” the narrative cow, like a Chaucerian non-characterized narrator, directs her speech to an imagined and unspecific listener; not to “the men,” who are characters within the poem, but to some more general audience. (See the Canterbury Tales prologue for an example of this voice in action.) 
Later, poem_for_your_sprog has Cow address contemporaries like “dog.” You will notice that the voice of Cow varies slightly, in speaking to Dog, from her voice in the original “I lik the bred.” WHY, then, can we not extrapolate that Calfe – who is, after all, a narrator of limited capacity, being only a Baby Cow with a Baby Cow’s simplicity – would have its own variant voice? And why, too, would Cow not speak differently to her own Calfe than she does to an animal peer, or to reverent imaginary auditors? These are experiments within an emerging form – flawed experiments, certainly, but not mistakes ipso facto. Again: HOW DARE YOU!!!!!!!!


my name is Cow,and as yu see,its worth yor tiymeto studye me.but if yu dontlike what yu red,take 2 deep brethsand lik the bred.

I am willing to concede on second reading that the syllabic structure is passable, and in that regard I’ve wrongly impugned the integrity of your work, however I maintain that your Frankenstinian amalgam of fake middle English with fake modern American baby talk is thoroughly unconvincing as either middle English or as modern American baby talk.
It’s an aesthetic failure, IMH(inh)O*
You’ve created the linguistic equivalent of a spork — vitiating two perfectly serviceable tools by attempting to fuse them.
Writing ‘till mothere says / do not do that,’ would have conveyed roughly the same idea without feeling quite so awkwardly anachronistic.

My name is Rave,and I can seeyou’re bent on pa-tronizing me!”Anachronistic”frankly seems a misplaced word to use of memes.But since you want to start that fight,let’s step outsideand do this right.
Dude: if you want to not get wreckedyou’d better get your facts correct.
Like, “Mothere,” friend,is not a wordthat Geoffrey Chau-cer ever heard.*(*”Mooder” would be period-accurate, and also a good cow word.)What’s more, the “eight-teenth century”has zip to do with, um, “M.E.”And it’s not spelled“diameter.”What are you, pal,an amateur?
I am not Chauceror John Donnebut if you tryto spoil my funwith words you learnedin English class –
don’t come for me. I’ll kik yur ass.


I don’t think someone who thinks Middle English happened in the seventeenth century ought to be schooling others.

“17th/18th century middle English”

My name is Geoff,John Chaucer’s sonne,and I my lyfe’scours have runne.Engelish tongesare now divers,so pedants, kis
my naked ers

amatalefay: spaceisprettycool: wildestranger: sashayed: lierdumoa: sashayed: sashayed: sashayed: lierdumoa: sashayed: sashayed:...

linguistic: HE WO MAN FE MALE HU MAN PER SON visual-poetry »swofehuper« by richard tipping [via] mitosisisyourtosis men fabricated the idea that they are the default sex to compensate for their biological inferiority and general superfluousness this is not just the "natural order this is the language of a patriarchal culture rhysiare Omg no, you are wrong on so many levels and as a linguist this makes me ache something terrible. In my linguistics class in undergrad, we actually made fun of people who think like you along these lines and for good reason because you are wholly ignorant and are choosing to spin narratives about things and fields which you know completely nothing about yet pretend you do 1. She: This word evolved naturally from Old English from seo/heo which were just words to refer to feminine-female people evolving from Proto- Germanic words meaning that/there. He as a word evolved from the same ideas but Proto-Germanic words for "this/here'. Your idea of patriarchal language" further falls apart when you compare this part of English to other Germanic languages, of which English is related, the words in German for he and she are "er" and "sie", completely unrelated So it is by clear happenstance, not some patriarchal conspiracy that the words "he" and "she" n English have similar form. 2. Woman: Oh god this one always gets my goat when people go for this one. Man did not used to mean "male", man used to mean humanity human being the old words in Old English for male adult person and female adult person were erman" and "wifman" respectively, we can see this relation in words like werewolf and wife as being the remnants of the base "wer and the base "wif- Woman evolved phonologically from the word "wifman" by natural processes where the "f sound dropped and the 'i' became lax. Man dropped its "wer stem for reasons mostly unknown but l can guarantee have nothing to do with patriarchy" because phonological change has no basis in that 3. Female: Male and Female actually come etymologically from two completely different words. Male comes from Old French masle" which meant masculine, while Female came from Old French as well "femella" which meant young woman. This is another case, just like he and she where the words coincidentally ended up looking similar without having any direct correlation in historical linguistic processes to make them as such 4. Human: This word etymologically derives from Proto-Indo- European "ghomon" which means earthly being as opposed to heavenly being which would refer to gods. You have some small glimmer of hope here in that the word does eventually branch off into the word for "man" in some languages but this is still too small of a precedent to base any conspiratorial thinking like you are doing off of 5. Person: This one offends me the most, simply because love the fuck out of Etruscan language and your continued ignorance just irks me at this point. Person derives from persona" from Latin which meant the same meaning, which ultimately derived from phersu" Etruscan for mask' as Etruscans would often have theatre performers use masks to give identity to the performers. So never once did "person" have any meaning to do with son". So yes, this is the natural order or language. Please never proselytise your faulty ideology and misandrist thinking within speaking about word origins and morphology again, as unless you actually do fact checking, l will school the everloving hell out of you, stay in your lane. Someone call the police, I've just seen some shots fired
linguistic: HE
 WO MAN
 FE
 MALE
 HU
 MAN
 PER
 SON
 visual-poetry
 »swofehuper« by richard tipping
 [via]
 mitosisisyourtosis
 men fabricated the idea that they are the default sex to compensate for their
 biological inferiority and general superfluousness
 this is not just the "natural order this is the language of a patriarchal culture

 rhysiare
 Omg no, you are wrong on so many levels and as a linguist this makes me
 ache something terrible. In my linguistics class in undergrad, we actually made
 fun of people who think like you along these lines and for good reason
 because you are wholly ignorant and are choosing to spin narratives about
 things and fields which you know completely nothing about yet pretend you do
 1. She: This word evolved naturally from Old English from seo/heo which
 were just words to refer to feminine-female people evolving from Proto-
 Germanic words meaning that/there. He as a word evolved from the
 same ideas but Proto-Germanic words for "this/here'. Your idea of
 patriarchal language" further falls apart when you compare this part of
 English to other Germanic languages, of which English is related, the
 words in German for he and she are "er" and "sie", completely unrelated
 So it is by clear happenstance, not some patriarchal conspiracy that the
 words "he" and "she" n English have similar form.
 2. Woman: Oh god this one always gets my goat when people go for this
 one. Man did not used to mean "male", man used to
 mean humanity human being the old words in
 Old English for male
 adult person and female adult person were erman" and "wifman"
 respectively, we can see this relation in words like werewolf and wife as
 being the remnants of the base "wer
 and the base "wif- Woman
 evolved phonologically from the word "wifman" by natural processes
 where the "f sound dropped and the
 'i' became lax. Man dropped
 its "wer stem for reasons mostly unknown but l can guarantee have
 nothing to do with patriarchy" because phonological change has no
 basis in that
 3. Female: Male and Female actually come etymologically from two
 completely different words. Male comes from Old French masle" which
 meant masculine, while Female came from Old French as well "femella"
 which meant young woman. This is another case, just like he and she
 where the words coincidentally ended up looking similar without having
 any direct correlation in historical
 linguistic processes to make them as
 such

 4. Human: This word etymologically derives from Proto-Indo-
 European "ghomon" which means earthly being as opposed to heavenly
 being which would refer to gods. You have some small glimmer of hope
 here in that the word does eventually branch off into the word for "man"
 in some languages but this is still too small of a precedent to base any
 conspiratorial thinking like you are doing off of
 5. Person: This one offends me the most, simply because
 love the fuck
 out of Etruscan language and your continued ignorance just irks me at
 this point. Person derives from persona" from Latin which meant the
 same meaning, which ultimately derived from phersu" Etruscan
 for mask' as Etruscans would often have theatre performers use masks
 to give identity to the performers. So never once did "person" have any
 meaning to do with son". So yes, this is the natural order or language.
 Please never proselytise your faulty ideology and misandrist thinking within
 speaking about word origins and morphology again, as unless you actually do
 fact checking, l will school the everloving hell out of you, stay in your lane.
Someone call the police, I've just seen some shots fired

Someone call the police, I've just seen some shots fired