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Lookout: Constantly on the lookout for it 🧐
Lookout: Constantly on the lookout for it 🧐

Constantly on the lookout for it 🧐

Lookout: goddamnshinyrock: why-animals-do-the-thing: wolfforce58205: zooophagous: caong: zooophagous: theexoticvet: Tick season is already in full swing and it’s going to be one of the worst years for ticks and lyme disease. Make sure your pets are on flea/tick/heartworm prevention and get your dogs vaccinated against lyme! The sun is shining and the grass is green in minnesota today, what a lovely beginning to the impending TICKPOCALYPSE Remember to cover yourselves appropriately if you’re going places with lots of wildlife! Ticks are dangerous for people as well as pets! I’ve always heard to avoid long pants because ticks are easier to notice and remove when they try to climb a bare leg, but I think it’s a matter of preference tbh. What you really need is to use a good repellant made for use in tick heavy areas. I’m not talking citronella essential oils, I mean a real repellant like Deep woods OFF that uses DDT. Spray it on your shoes and inside your shoes. You would be surprised how many ticks start in your socks and work their way up. I have had waaaaaay fewer guests on me after spraying my shoes as well as my legs. If you want to get REALLY serious you can treat your hiking gear in permethrin, or get permethrin treated exercise gear. It’s a very potent, effective substance that kills ticks and other parasites on contact. It’s present in some flea and tick treatments for dogs. But the kicker is, permethrin is also VERY toxic to cats, so if you have a cat and you feel like you need permethrin treated gear, you MUST keep the gear where kitty can’t get it. Friendly reminder to stock up on tick meds for your pets, and repellent for yourself! This year is going to be a BAD one. ALWAYS check yourself after a hike, or any trip outside. Wear bright clothes so it’s easier to see ticks on you, and make sure to do a full-body check when you’re done. This includes checking your hair line and under waistbands or underwear (last tick I found on me was on my butt, and I had been hiking with pants and a long shirt on…trust me, check under your underwear). Remove ticks as soon as you find them, and keep them in a small container or bag (heads completely squished) for identification purposes just in case your bite looks iffy later on. Clean the bite site thoroughly. Be on the look out for any flu-like symptoms, rashes, or red rings around the bite site like a bulls-eye (note: a slight red ring right afterward is normal, see below for what “bad” looks like). Usually if you get a tick off in the first 24 hours you’ll be ok, so long as you didn’t agitate the tick, but if you notice anything abnormal go to the doctor ASAP. If your tick was engorged when removed, be especially on the lookout. It’s always better to be safe than sorry when it comes to the nasty diseases ticks can carry. Remember: if you’re buying tick preventatives for your pets, make sure you get one that’s meant for them. Don’t use dog-specific medicine on cats, or vice-versa, and make sure you get the correct weight range for your pet. Failure to do so can lead to serious complications for your pets. If you’re not sure what you should use or what’s safe for pets, contact your local veterinarian and ask. If your pet is bitten by a tick and displays any abnormal behaviors or symptoms of sickness get them to your vet as soon as you can and bring the tick with you. This has been your tick safety reminder post for the season. Reblogging for both human tick safety and the note that permethrin is really deadly to cats. important addition: when you come in from your outdoors activity, as you do your tick check put the clothes you were wearing directly into the wash (or, if you can’t wash them immediately for some reason, into a sealed plastic bag). Don’t sit on your furniture, don’t put the clothes in your hamper with your other things, and don’t delay the tick check. If a tick is on the removed clothing and the clothing isn’t cleaned, they’ll head for the nearest delicious mammal, whether that’s a person or a pet. After you quarantine your clothes and check your whole body (get a buddy or use a mirror for your back), it’s also wise to shower, although that’s by no means foolproof, and won’t have any effect if a tick has already latched on.  When you do your check, focus on the crevices of your body- on people and animals, ticks are most likely to latch on in warm and protected areas. This means that the groin, underarms, and scalp are a prime tick buffet, as well as under your bra and (as someone above said) under your waistband, or any other area where your clothing fits snugly. On pets, they’ll concentrate in the thicker fur at the neck, behind the ears, and in the ‘armpits’, but you’ll likely also find a few elsewhere on the body, especially on pets with fluffy coats.
Lookout: goddamnshinyrock:

why-animals-do-the-thing:

wolfforce58205:

zooophagous:

caong:


zooophagous:

theexoticvet:
Tick season is already in full swing and it’s going to be one of the worst years for ticks and lyme disease. Make sure your pets are on flea/tick/heartworm prevention and get your dogs vaccinated against lyme!

The sun is shining and the grass is green in minnesota today, what a lovely beginning to the impending TICKPOCALYPSE

Remember to cover yourselves appropriately if you’re going places with lots of wildlife! Ticks are dangerous for people as well as pets!


I’ve always heard to avoid long pants because ticks are easier to notice and remove when they try to climb a bare leg, but I think it’s a matter of preference tbh.
What you really need is to use a good repellant made for use in tick heavy areas. I’m not talking citronella essential oils, I mean a real repellant like Deep woods OFF that uses DDT. Spray it on your shoes and inside your shoes. You would be surprised how many ticks start in your socks and work their way up. I have had waaaaaay fewer guests on me after spraying my shoes as well as my legs.
If you want to get REALLY serious you can treat your hiking gear in permethrin, or get permethrin treated exercise gear. It’s a very potent, effective substance that kills ticks and other parasites on contact. It’s present in some flea and tick treatments for dogs. But the kicker is, permethrin is also VERY toxic to cats, so if you have a cat and you feel like you need permethrin treated gear, you MUST keep the gear where kitty can’t get it.

Friendly reminder to stock up on tick meds for your pets, and repellent for yourself! This year is going to be a BAD one.
ALWAYS check yourself after a hike, or any trip outside. Wear bright clothes so it’s easier to see ticks on you, and make sure to do a full-body check when you’re done. This includes checking your hair line and under waistbands or underwear (last tick I found on me was on my butt, and I had been hiking with pants and a long shirt on…trust me, check under your underwear).
Remove ticks as soon as you find them, and keep them in a small container or bag (heads completely squished) for identification purposes just in case your bite looks iffy later on. Clean the bite site thoroughly. Be on the look out for any flu-like symptoms, rashes, or red rings around the bite site like a bulls-eye (note: a slight red ring right afterward is normal, see below for what “bad” looks like). Usually if you get a tick off in the first 24 hours you’ll be ok, so long as you didn’t agitate the tick, but if you notice anything abnormal go to the doctor ASAP. If your tick was engorged when removed, be especially on the lookout. It’s always better to be safe than sorry when it comes to the nasty diseases ticks can carry.
Remember: if you’re buying tick preventatives for your pets, make sure you get one that’s meant for them. Don’t use dog-specific medicine on cats, or vice-versa, and make sure you get the correct weight range for your pet. Failure to do so can lead to serious complications for your pets. If you’re not sure what you should use or what’s safe for pets, contact your local veterinarian and ask. If your pet is bitten by a tick and displays any abnormal behaviors or symptoms of sickness get them to your vet as soon as you can and bring the tick with you.
This has been your tick safety reminder post for the season.

Reblogging for both human tick safety and the note that permethrin is really deadly to cats.

important addition: when you come in from your outdoors activity, as you do your tick check put the clothes you were wearing directly into the wash (or, if you can’t wash them immediately for some reason, into a sealed plastic bag). Don’t sit on your furniture, don’t put the clothes in your hamper with your other things, and don’t delay the tick check. If a tick is on the removed clothing and the clothing isn’t cleaned, they’ll head for the nearest delicious mammal, whether that’s a person or a pet. After you quarantine your clothes and check your whole body (get a buddy or use a mirror for your back), it’s also wise to shower, although that’s by no means foolproof, and won’t have any effect if a tick has already latched on. 
When you do your check, focus on the crevices of your body- on people and animals, ticks are most likely to latch on in warm and protected areas. This means that the groin, underarms, and scalp are a prime tick buffet, as well as under your bra and (as someone above said) under your waistband, or any other area where your clothing fits snugly. On pets, they’ll concentrate in the thicker fur at the neck, behind the ears, and in the ‘armpits’, but you’ll likely also find a few elsewhere on the body, especially on pets with fluffy coats.

goddamnshinyrock: why-animals-do-the-thing: wolfforce58205: zooophagous: caong: zooophagous: theexoticvet: Tick season is already...

Lookout: can do it TO DO LIST corbinalexanderwealthguidance: CORBIN ALEXANDER WEALLTH GUIDANCE:  POSTED 05/06/2018 STARTING OUT FROM SCRATCH – POST #1 IN MY SERIES BUDGETING: 50/30/20/RULE: For the person already living life, this is an essential rule of thumb: -          50% to Needs:  utilities, rent, food, car insurance (never buy a car on credit/payments and be  required to pay collision coverage:  only buy a used, 3-8 years old; Honda/Kia/Toyota for the best value/bang for your buck), gas, clothes allowance, etc.  Essentials needed to live! -          20% to Savings Investment:   used to pay bank loans/student loans, monthly deposits into a retirement account and an investment account, credit card payments (pay off the entire balance each month and not just the minimum payment to avoid paying interest on interest = that’s what eats you alive causing you to NEVER pay off the balance(s)) and never buy stuff from Fingerhut/Rent-A-Center or the like…..the interest on this stuff is outrageous and you pay 3x-5x what the item is actually worth in the end – if you ever get to the end of the payments! -          30% to Wants:  vacations (limit one per year – do day trips for the other week taken on paid vacation benefits) and future “Wants” such as saving for a house:  if you need the monies in less than 5 years, then bank it – if you need the monies in over 8 years, then invest it; that is the industry rule of thumb when it comes to “Wants”. Two methods to keep you on track:  -          The spread sheet method:  this is where you track your budget in MS Excel.  -    The envelope method:  this is where you assign envelopes labeled by each expense.   EMERGECY FUND:   This where you have a bank savings account holding a minimum of six months of expenses to pay “all” your monthly bills in the event of a job lose or an illness:  you are NEVER to dip into this unless you are in a dire straight situation.   Establish this fund FIRST before all other suggestions are followed.   SAVINGS INVESTMENT:   -          Start saving for an emergency fund first. -          Do not use the Overdraft protection feature on your bank debit card = avoid getting into the habit of paying Overdraft charges over and over again!  But do have it on the account – in the event of an emergency = like your car breaks down, etc. and avoid using a credit card and carry a balance. -          Start an investment account at Ally.com/invest and invest in my Model ETF Portfolio that I’ll outline at a later date…stay tuned! -          Start investing in my ”ALL PURPOSE” Model Mutual Fund Portfolio: starting in your mid-50’s/early 60’s. -          Start investing in my designated Model Mutual Fund 80+ Portfolio in your 80’s; exact allocation percentages to also be revealed at a later date! CREDIT CARDS/BANKING MANAGEMENT:  -          Establish a credit history at 18 years old before working a full-time 9-5 or going to college:  now is the time to obtain a pre-paid debt card through Capital One.com or a similar lender.   And do not forget to get a small personal loan ($1,000.00 minimum) at a local bank using a co-signer to qualify for the loan.  As you SLOWLY establish a credit history; apply for a no-fee/low credit limit card through Discover.com and/or Capital One.com.   HAVE YOU RUN UP YOUR CREDIT CARDS TO THE MAX AND DROWNING IN DEBT OVERALL? – CONSIDER CLAIMING BANKRUPTCY AND START OVER – JUST BE CAREFUL; DON’T SCREW UP AGAIN LIKE THE LAST TIME.   -          Earn interest in an interest-bearing savings or CD account:               Not all banks are created equal; which is why most are banking wrong:                 BANK OF AMERICA:  This is a “fee city” bank.  You name it, they have a fee attached TD BANK:  This is a bank with convoluted morals.  Good luck banking in this environment; more horseshit then you can shake a stick at!    -   If your balance falls below $100.00 at TD at any given time during the month; they hit you with a $15.00 low balance fee ($180.00 a year!). You are better off going to a local bank or a federal credit union for your banking needs. BE ON THE LOOKOUT FOR MY NEXT SERIES INSTALLMENT POST ON 6/3/2018!
Lookout: can
 do it
 TO DO LIST
corbinalexanderwealthguidance:
CORBIN ALEXANDER WEALLTH
GUIDANCE:  POSTED 05/06/2018
STARTING OUT FROM SCRATCH – POST #1 IN MY SERIES
BUDGETING:
50/30/20/RULE:
For the person already living life, this is an essential
rule of thumb:
-         
50% to Needs:  utilities, rent, food, car insurance (never buy a car on credit/payments and be  required to pay collision coverage:  only buy a used, 3-8 years old; Honda/Kia/Toyota for the best value/bang for your buck),
gas, clothes allowance, etc.  Essentials needed to live!
-         
20% to Savings
 Investment:   used to pay bank
loans/student loans, monthly deposits into a retirement account and an investment
account, credit card payments (pay off the entire balance each month and not
just the minimum payment to avoid paying interest on interest = that’s what
eats you alive causing you to NEVER
pay off the balance(s)) and never buy stuff from Fingerhut/Rent-A-Center or the
like…..the interest on this stuff is outrageous and you pay 3x-5x what the item
is actually worth in the end – if you ever get to the end of the payments!
-         
30% to Wants:  vacations (limit one per year – do day trips
for the other week taken on paid vacation benefits) and future “Wants” such as
saving for a house:  if you need the
monies in less than 5 years, then bank it – if you need the monies in over 8
years, then invest it; that is the industry rule of thumb when it comes to “Wants”.
Two methods to keep you on track:
 -         
The spread sheet method:  this is where you track your budget in MS
Excel.
 -    The envelope method:  this is where you assign envelopes labeled by
each expense.   
EMERGECY FUND:  
This where you have a bank savings
account holding a minimum of six months of expenses to pay “all” your monthly bills in the event of
a job lose or an illness:  you are NEVER to dip into this unless you are
in a dire straight situation.  
Establish this fund FIRST before all other suggestions are followed.
 
SAVINGS  INVESTMENT:   
-         
Start saving for an emergency fund first.
-         
Do not
use the Overdraft protection feature on your bank debit card = avoid getting
into the habit of paying Overdraft charges over and over again!  But do have it on the account – in the event
of an emergency = like your car breaks down, etc. and avoid using a credit card
and carry a balance.
-         
Start an investment account at Ally.com/invest
and invest in my Model ETF Portfolio that I’ll outline at a later date…stay tuned!
-         
Start investing in my ”ALL PURPOSE” Model Mutual Fund Portfolio: starting in your mid-50’s/early
60’s.
-         
Start investing in my designated Model Mutual
Fund 80+ Portfolio in your 80’s; exact allocation percentages to also be
revealed at a later date!

CREDIT
CARDS/BANKING MANAGEMENT:
 -         
Establish a credit history at 18 years old
before working a full-time 9-5 or going to college:  now is the time to obtain a pre-paid debt
card through Capital One.com or a
similar lender.   And do not forget to
get a small personal loan ($1,000.00 minimum) at a local bank using a co-signer to qualify for the loan.
 As you SLOWLY
establish a credit history; apply for a no-fee/low credit limit card through Discover.com and/or Capital One.com.
 
HAVE
YOU RUN UP YOUR CREDIT CARDS TO THE MAX AND DROWNING IN DEBT OVERALL? –
CONSIDER CLAIMING BANKRUPTCY AND START OVER – JUST BE CAREFUL; DON’T SCREW UP
AGAIN LIKE THE LAST TIME.
 
-         
Earn interest in an interest-bearing savings or
CD account:
               Not all
banks are created equal; which is why most are banking wrong:   
               BANK
OF AMERICA:  This is a “fee city”
bank.  You name it, they have a fee
attached
TD
BANK:  This is a bank with convoluted
morals.  Good luck banking in this
environment; more horseshit then you can shake a stick
at!  
 -   If your balance falls below $100.00 at TD at any
given time during the month; they hit you with a $15.00 low balance fee
($180.00 a year!).
You
are better off going to a local bank or a federal credit union for your banking
needs.
BE ON THE LOOKOUT
FOR MY NEXT SERIES INSTALLMENT POST ON 6/3/2018!

corbinalexanderwealthguidance: CORBIN ALEXANDER WEALLTH GUIDANCE:  POSTED 05/06/2018 STARTING OUT FROM SCRATCH – POST #1 IN MY SERIES BUD...

Lookout: can do it TO DO LIST <p><a href="https://corbinalexanderwealthguidance.tumblr.com/post/173631157384/corbin-alexander-weallth-guidance-posted" class="tumblr_blog">corbinalexanderwealthguidance</a>:</p><blockquote> <p><b>CORBIN ALEXANDER WEALLTH GUIDANCE:  </b>POSTED 05/06/2018<b></b></p> <p><b>STARTING OUT FROM SCRATCH – </b>POST #1 IN MY SERIES<b></b></p> <p><b>BUDGETING:</b></p> <p>50/30/20/RULE:</p> <p>For the person already living life, this is an essential rule of thumb:</p> <p>-          50% to <b>Needs</b>:  utilities, rent, food, car insurance (<b>never buy a car on credit/payments and be </b> <b>required to pay collision coverage:  only buy a used, 3-8 years old; Honda/Kia/Toyota for the best value/bang for your buck</b>), gas, <b>clothes allowance</b>, etc.  Essentials needed to live!</p> <p>-          20% to <b>Savings &amp; Investment</b>:   used to pay bank loans/student loans, monthly deposits into a retirement account and an investment account, credit card payments (pay off the entire balance each month and not just the minimum payment to avoid paying interest on interest = that’s what eats you alive causing you to <b>NEVER</b> pay off the balance(s)) and never buy stuff from Fingerhut/Rent-A-Center or the like…..the interest on this stuff is outrageous and you pay 3x-5x what the item is actually worth in the end – if you ever get to the end of the payments!</p> <p>-          30% to <b>Wants</b>:  vacations (limit one per year – do day trips for the other week taken on paid vacation benefits) and future “Wants” such as saving for a house:  if you need the monies in less than 5 years, then bank it – if you need the monies in over 8 years, then invest it; that is the industry rule of thumb when it comes to “<b>Wants</b>”.</p> <p>Two methods to keep you on track:</p> <p> -          The spread sheet method:  this is where you track your budget in MS Excel.</p> <p> -    The envelope method:  this is where you assign envelopes labeled by each expense.   </p> <p><b>EMERGECY FUND:  </b></p> <p>This where you have a bank savings account holding a minimum of six months of expenses to pay “<b>all</b>” your monthly bills in the event of a job lose or an illness:  you are <b>NEVER</b> to dip into this unless you are in a dire straight situation.  </p> <p><b>Establish this fund FIRST before all other suggestions are followed.</b></p> <p><b> </b></p> <p><b>SAVINGS &amp; INVESTMENT:   </b></p> <p>-          Start saving for an emergency fund first.</p> <p>-          <b>Do not</b> use the Overdraft protection feature on your bank debit card = avoid getting into the habit of paying Overdraft charges over and over again!  But do have it on the account – in the event of an emergency = like your car breaks down, etc. and avoid using a credit card and carry a balance.</p> <p>-          Start an investment account at Ally.com/invest and invest in my Model ETF Portfolio that I’ll outline at a later date…<b>stay tuned</b>!</p> <p>-          Start investing in my ”<b>ALL PURPOSE</b>” Model Mutual Fund Portfolio: starting in your mid-50’s/early 60’s.</p> <p>-          Start investing in my designated Model Mutual Fund 80+ Portfolio in your 80’s; exact allocation percentages to also be revealed at a later date!</p> <p><b>CREDIT CARDS/BANKING MANAGEMENT:</b></p> <p><b> </b>-          Establish a credit history at 18 years old before working a full-time 9-5 or going to college:  now is the time to obtain a pre-paid debt card through <b>Capital One.com</b> or a similar lender.   And do not forget to get a small personal loan ($1,000.00 minimum) at a <b>local bank</b> using a co-signer to qualify for the loan.</p> <p> As you <b>SLOWLY</b> establish a credit history; apply for a no-fee/low credit limit card through <b>Discover.com</b> and/or <b>Capital One.com.</b></p> <p><b> </b></p> <p><b>HAVE YOU RUN UP YOUR CREDIT CARDS TO THE MAX AND DROWNING IN DEBT OVERALL? – CONSIDER CLAIMING BANKRUPTCY AND START OVER – JUST BE CAREFUL; DON’T SCREW UP AGAIN LIKE THE LAST TIME.</b></p> <p><b> </b></p> <p>-          Earn interest in an interest-bearing savings or CD account:</p> <p>               Not all banks are created equal; which is why most are banking wrong:   </p> <p>               <b>BANK OF AMERICA</b>:  This is a “fee city” bank.  You name it, they have a fee attached</p> <p><b>TD BANK</b>:  This is a bank with convoluted morals.  Good luck banking in this environment; more horseshit then you can shake a stick at!  </p> <p> -   If your balance falls below $100.00 at TD at any given time during the month; they hit you with a $15.00 low balance fee ($180.00 a year!).</p> <p><b>You are better off going to a local bank or a federal credit union for your banking needs.</b></p> <p>BE ON THE LOOKOUT FOR MY NEXT SERIES INSTALLMENT POST ON 6/3/2018!</p> </blockquote>
Lookout: can
 do it
 TO DO LIST
<p><a href="https://corbinalexanderwealthguidance.tumblr.com/post/173631157384/corbin-alexander-weallth-guidance-posted" class="tumblr_blog">corbinalexanderwealthguidance</a>:</p><blockquote>
<p><b>CORBIN ALEXANDER WEALLTH
GUIDANCE:  </b>POSTED 05/06/2018<b></b></p>
<p><b>STARTING OUT FROM SCRATCH – </b>POST #1 IN MY SERIES<b></b></p>
<p><b>BUDGETING:</b></p>
<p>50/30/20/RULE:</p>
<p>For the person already living life, this is an essential
rule of thumb:</p>
<p>-         
50% to <b>Needs</b>:  utilities, rent, food, car insurance (<b>never buy a car on credit/payments and be </b> <b>required to pay collision coverage:  only buy a used, 3-8 years old; Honda/Kia/Toyota for the best value/bang for your buck</b>),
gas, <b>clothes allowance</b>, etc.  Essentials needed to live!</p>
<p>-         
20% to <b>Savings
&amp; Investment</b>:   used to pay bank
loans/student loans, monthly deposits into a retirement account and an investment
account, credit card payments (pay off the entire balance each month and not
just the minimum payment to avoid paying interest on interest = that’s what
eats you alive causing you to <b>NEVER</b>
pay off the balance(s)) and never buy stuff from Fingerhut/Rent-A-Center or the
like…..the interest on this stuff is outrageous and you pay 3x-5x what the item
is actually worth in the end – if you ever get to the end of the payments!</p>
<p>-         
30% to <b>Wants</b>:  vacations (limit one per year – do day trips
for the other week taken on paid vacation benefits) and future “Wants” such as
saving for a house:  if you need the
monies in less than 5 years, then bank it – if you need the monies in over 8
years, then invest it; that is the industry rule of thumb when it comes to “<b>Wants</b>”.</p>
<p>Two methods to keep you on track:</p>
<p> -         
The spread sheet method:  this is where you track your budget in MS
Excel.</p>
<p> -    The envelope method:  this is where you assign envelopes labeled by
each expense.   </p>
<p><b>EMERGECY FUND:  </b></p>
<p>This where you have a bank savings
account holding a minimum of six months of expenses to pay “<b>all</b>” your monthly bills in the event of
a job lose or an illness:  you are <b>NEVER</b> to dip into this unless you are
in a dire straight situation.  </p>
<p><b>Establish this fund FIRST before all other suggestions are followed.</b></p>
<p><b> </b></p>
<p><b>SAVINGS &amp; INVESTMENT:   </b></p>
<p>-         
Start saving for an emergency fund first.</p>
<p>-         
<b>Do not</b>
use the Overdraft protection feature on your bank debit card = avoid getting
into the habit of paying Overdraft charges over and over again!  But do have it on the account – in the event
of an emergency = like your car breaks down, etc. and avoid using a credit card
and carry a balance.</p>
<p>-         
Start an investment account at Ally.com/invest
and invest in my Model ETF Portfolio that I’ll outline at a later date…<b>stay tuned</b>!</p>
<p>-         
Start investing in my ”<b>ALL PURPOSE</b>” Model Mutual Fund Portfolio: starting in your mid-50’s/early
60’s.</p>
<p>-         
Start investing in my designated Model Mutual
Fund 80+ Portfolio in your 80’s; exact allocation percentages to also be
revealed at a later date!</p>

<p><b>CREDIT
CARDS/BANKING MANAGEMENT:</b></p>
<p><b> </b>-         
Establish a credit history at 18 years old
before working a full-time 9-5 or going to college:  now is the time to obtain a pre-paid debt
card through <b>Capital One.com</b> or a
similar lender.   And do not forget to
get a small personal loan ($1,000.00 minimum) at a <b>local bank</b> using a co-signer to qualify for the loan.</p>
<p> As you <b>SLOWLY</b>
establish a credit history; apply for a no-fee/low credit limit card through <b>Discover.com</b> and/or <b>Capital One.com.</b></p>
<p><b> </b></p>
<p><b>HAVE
YOU RUN UP YOUR CREDIT CARDS TO THE MAX AND DROWNING IN DEBT OVERALL? –
CONSIDER CLAIMING BANKRUPTCY AND START OVER – JUST BE CAREFUL; DON’T SCREW UP
AGAIN LIKE THE LAST TIME.</b></p>
<p><b> </b></p>
<p>-         
Earn interest in an interest-bearing savings or
CD account:</p>
<p>               Not all
banks are created equal; which is why most are banking wrong:   </p>
<p>               <b>BANK
OF AMERICA</b>:  This is a “fee city”
bank.  You name it, they have a fee
attached</p>
<p><b>TD
BANK</b>:  This is a bank with convoluted
morals.  Good luck banking in this
environment; more horseshit then you can shake a stick
at!  </p>
<p> -   If your balance falls below $100.00 at TD at any
given time during the month; they hit you with a $15.00 low balance fee
($180.00 a year!).</p>
<p><b>You
are better off going to a local bank or a federal credit union for your banking
needs.</b></p>
<p>BE ON THE LOOKOUT
FOR MY NEXT SERIES INSTALLMENT POST ON 6/3/2018!</p>
</blockquote>

<p><a href="https://corbinalexanderwealthguidance.tumblr.com/post/173631157384/corbin-alexander-weallth-guidance-posted" class="tumblr_bl...

Lookout: can do it TO DO LIST corbinalexanderwealthguidance: CORBIN ALEXANDER WEALLTH GUIDANCE:  POSTED 05/06/2018 STARTING OUT FROM SCRATCH – POST #1 IN MY SERIES BUDGETING: 50/30/20/RULE: For the person already living life, this is an essential rule of thumb: -          50% to Needs:  utilities, rent, food, car insurance (never buy a car on credit/payments and be  required to pay collision coverage:  only buy a used, 3-8 year old, Honda/Kia/Toyota for the best value/bang for your buck), gas, clothes allowance, etc.  Essentials needed to live! -          20% to Savings Investment:   used to pay bank loans/student loans, monthly deposits into a retirement account and an investment account, credit card payments (pay off the entire balance each month and not just the minimum payment to avoid paying interest on interest = that’s what eats you alive causing you to NEVER pay off the balance(s)) and never buy stuff from Fingerhut/Rent-A-Center or the like…..the interest on this stuff is outrageous and you pay 3x-5x what the item is actually worth in the end – if you ever get to the end of the payments! -          30% to Wants:  vacations (limit one per year – do day trips for the other week taken on paid vacation benefits) and future “Wants” such as saving for a house:  if you need the monies in less than 5 years, then bank it – if you need the monies in over 8 years, then invest it; that is the industry rule of thumb when it comes to “Wants”. Two methods to keep you on track:  -          The spread sheet method:  this is where you track your budget in MS Excel.  -    The envelope method:  this is where you assign envelopes labeled by each expense.   EMERGECY FUND:   This where you have a bank savings account holding a minimum of six months of expenses to pay “all” your monthly bills in the event of a job lose or an illness:  you are NEVER to dip into this unless you are in a dire straight situation.   Establish this fund FIRST before all other suggestions are followed.   SAVINGS INVESTMENT:   -          Start saving for an emergency fund first. -          Do not use the Overdraft protection feature on your bank debit card = avoid getting into the habit of paying Overdraft charges over and over again!  But do have it on the account – in the event of an emergency = like your car breaks down, etc. and avoid using a credit card and carry a balance. -          Start an investment account at Ally.com/invest and invest in my Model ETF Portfolio that I’ll outline at a later date…stay tuned! -          Start investing in my ”ALL PURPOSE” Model Mutual Fund Portfolio: starting in your mid-50’s/early 60’s. -          Start investing in my designated Model Mutual Fund 80+ Portfolio in your 80’s; exact allocation percentages to also be revealed at a later date! CREDIT CARDS/BANKING MANAGEMENT:  -          Establish a credit history at 18 years old before working a full-time 9-5 or going to college:  now is the time to obtain a pre-paid debt card through Capital One.com or a similar lender.   And do not forget to get a small personal loan ($1,000.00 minimum) at a local bank using a co-signer to qualify for the loan.  As you SLOWLY establish a credit history; apply for a no-fee/low credit limit card through Discover.com and/or Capital One.com.   HAVE YOU RUN UP YOUR CREDIT CARDS TO THE MAX AND DROWNING IN DEBT OVERALL? – CONSIDER CLAIMING BANKRUPTCY AND START OVER – JUST BE CAREFUL; DON’T SCREW UP AGAIN LIKE THE LAST TIME.   -          Earn interest in an interest-bearing savings or CD account:               Not all banks are created equal; which is why most are banking wrong:                 BANK OF AMERICA:  This is a “fee city” bank.  You name it, they have a fee attached TD BANK:  This is a bank with convoluted morals.  Good luck banking in this environment; more horseshit then you can shake a stick at!    -   If your balance falls below $100.00 at TD at any given time during the month; they hit you with a $15.00 low balance fee ($180.00 a year!). You are better off going to a local bank or a federal credit union for your banking needs. BE ON THE LOOKOUT FOR MY NEXT SERIES INSTALLMENT POST ON 6/3/2018!
Lookout: can
 do it
 TO DO LIST
corbinalexanderwealthguidance:
CORBIN ALEXANDER WEALLTH
GUIDANCE:  POSTED 05/06/2018
STARTING OUT FROM SCRATCH – POST #1 IN MY SERIES
BUDGETING:
50/30/20/RULE:
For the person already living life, this is an essential
rule of thumb:
-         
50% to Needs:  utilities, rent, food, car insurance (never buy a car on credit/payments and be  required to pay collision coverage:  only buy a used, 3-8 year old, Honda/Kia/Toyota for the best value/bang for your buck),
gas, clothes allowance, etc.  Essentials needed to live!
-         
20% to Savings
 Investment:   used to pay bank
loans/student loans, monthly deposits into a retirement account and an investment
account, credit card payments (pay off the entire balance each month and not
just the minimum payment to avoid paying interest on interest = that’s what
eats you alive causing you to NEVER
pay off the balance(s)) and never buy stuff from Fingerhut/Rent-A-Center or the
like…..the interest on this stuff is outrageous and you pay 3x-5x what the item
is actually worth in the end – if you ever get to the end of the payments!
-         
30% to Wants:  vacations (limit one per year – do day trips
for the other week taken on paid vacation benefits) and future “Wants” such as
saving for a house:  if you need the
monies in less than 5 years, then bank it – if you need the monies in over 8
years, then invest it; that is the industry rule of thumb when it comes to “Wants”.
Two methods to keep you on track:
 -         
The spread sheet method:  this is where you track your budget in MS
Excel.
 -    The envelope method:  this is where you assign envelopes labeled by
each expense.   
EMERGECY FUND:  
This where you have a bank savings
account holding a minimum of six months of expenses to pay “all” your monthly bills in the event of
a job lose or an illness:  you are NEVER to dip into this unless you are
in a dire straight situation.  
Establish this fund FIRST before all other suggestions are followed.
 
SAVINGS  INVESTMENT:   
-         
Start saving for an emergency fund first.
-         
Do not
use the Overdraft protection feature on your bank debit card = avoid getting
into the habit of paying Overdraft charges over and over again!  But do have it on the account – in the event
of an emergency = like your car breaks down, etc. and avoid using a credit card
and carry a balance.
-         
Start an investment account at Ally.com/invest
and invest in my Model ETF Portfolio that I’ll outline at a later date…stay tuned!
-         
Start investing in my ”ALL PURPOSE” Model Mutual Fund Portfolio: starting in your mid-50’s/early
60’s.
-         
Start investing in my designated Model Mutual
Fund 80+ Portfolio in your 80’s; exact allocation percentages to also be
revealed at a later date!

CREDIT
CARDS/BANKING MANAGEMENT:
 -         
Establish a credit history at 18 years old
before working a full-time 9-5 or going to college:  now is the time to obtain a pre-paid debt
card through Capital One.com or a
similar lender.   And do not forget to
get a small personal loan ($1,000.00 minimum) at a local bank using a co-signer to qualify for the loan.
 As you SLOWLY
establish a credit history; apply for a no-fee/low credit limit card through Discover.com and/or Capital One.com.
 
HAVE
YOU RUN UP YOUR CREDIT CARDS TO THE MAX AND DROWNING IN DEBT OVERALL? –
CONSIDER CLAIMING BANKRUPTCY AND START OVER – JUST BE CAREFUL; DON’T SCREW UP
AGAIN LIKE THE LAST TIME.
 
-         
Earn interest in an interest-bearing savings or
CD account:
               Not all
banks are created equal; which is why most are banking wrong:   
               BANK
OF AMERICA:  This is a “fee city”
bank.  You name it, they have a fee
attached
TD
BANK:  This is a bank with convoluted
morals.  Good luck banking in this
environment; more horseshit then you can shake a stick
at!  
 -   If your balance falls below $100.00 at TD at any
given time during the month; they hit you with a $15.00 low balance fee
($180.00 a year!).
You
are better off going to a local bank or a federal credit union for your banking
needs.
BE ON THE LOOKOUT
FOR MY NEXT SERIES INSTALLMENT POST ON 6/3/2018!

corbinalexanderwealthguidance: CORBIN ALEXANDER WEALLTH GUIDANCE:  POSTED 05/06/2018 STARTING OUT FROM SCRATCH – POST #1 IN MY SERIES BUD...

Lookout: <p>Great view from the lookout</p>
Lookout: <p>Great view from the lookout</p>

<p>Great view from the lookout</p>

Lookout: bpd-darling me (cleaning up): holds knife intrusive thoughts: what if me: ok edgelord we get it what if i slit my wrists right now can we please just focus egalitarian-nature-blog Additionally, me: *waiting for the subway* intrusive thoughts: what if you jumped me: it would cause a four hour delay while they pick your body parts out of the rails you fucking prick, can we please for once get on public transit without going through this rosefvondudehomie Also; Me: *walking along a busy road* intrusive thoughts: What if you just fell over in front of this truck? Me: It would back up traffic all fucking night and probably hurt a lot of people you prick. smallblueangel Gosh. I never have thoughts like this bpd-darling didnt ask but that sounds nice pluto-suxk Me: *walking down the stairs* Intrusive Thought: I could throw myself down these flight of stairs and leave more time for everyone else! Me: Or you end up with a broken wrist and sprain ankle you dickhead keep walking saveachocobo-rideaprompto Me: *driving on a bridge* Intrusive thoughts I could just drive straight into that lake and finish it right now. Me: You asshole, this is a new car. Just fucking keep going like everyon else you prick. noodle-boyy oh my god,MAAMAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA rosebadwolf1000 I needed this beka-tiddalik Me: *standing at a lookout* It's so beautiful here... Intrusive thoughts: yeah, look at that view, you could just step out into it and you'd probably never feel the impact when you hit the ground 20m below.. Me: Bitch, don't ruin the view for everyone else. Fucksake httpquotescum Me: *doing literally nothing* Intrusive thoughts: What if Me: Can't you just shut the fuck up and chill for once? God damn ramblingandpie Me: I wonder what my wife wants for dinner? Intrusive thought: a divorce Me: Now, Timothy, that's just uncalled for. You can't even eat that. Source: bpd-darling 233,165 notes Sassing those intrusive thoughts away.
Lookout: bpd-darling
 me (cleaning up): holds knife
 intrusive thoughts: what if
 me: ok edgelord we get it what if i slit my
 wrists right now can we please just focus
 egalitarian-nature-blog
 Additionally, me: *waiting for the subway*
 intrusive thoughts: what if you jumped me: it
 would cause a four hour delay while they pick
 your body parts out of the rails you fucking
 prick, can we please for once get on public
 transit without going through this
 rosefvondudehomie
 Also; Me: *walking along a busy road*
 intrusive thoughts: What if you just fell over
 in front of this truck? Me: It would back up
 traffic all fucking night and probably hurt a lot
 of people you prick.
 smallblueangel
 Gosh. I never have thoughts like this
 bpd-darling
 didnt ask but that sounds nice
 pluto-suxk
 Me: *walking down the stairs* Intrusive
 Thought: I could throw myself down these
 flight of stairs and leave more time for
 everyone else! Me: Or you end up with a
 broken wrist and sprain ankle you dickhead
 keep walking
 saveachocobo-rideaprompto
 Me: *driving on a bridge* Intrusive thoughts
 I could just drive straight into that lake and
 finish it right now. Me: You asshole, this is a
 new car. Just fucking keep going like everyon
 else you prick.
 noodle-boyy
 oh my god,MAAMAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
 rosebadwolf1000
 I needed this
 beka-tiddalik
 Me: *standing at a lookout* It's so beautiful
 here...
 Intrusive thoughts: yeah, look at that view, you
 could just step out into it and you'd probably
 never feel the impact when you hit the ground
 20m below..
 Me: Bitch, don't ruin the view for everyone
 else. Fucksake
 httpquotescum
 Me: *doing literally nothing*
 Intrusive thoughts: What if
 Me: Can't you just shut the fuck up and chill
 for once? God damn
 ramblingandpie
 Me: I wonder what my wife wants for dinner?
 Intrusive thought: a divorce
 Me: Now, Timothy, that's just uncalled for. You
 can't even eat that.
 Source: bpd-darling
 233,165 notes
Sassing those intrusive thoughts away.

Sassing those intrusive thoughts away.

Lookout: bpd-darling me (cleaning up): holds knife intrusive thoughts: what if me: ok edgelord we get it what if i slit my wrists right now can we please just focus egalitarian-nature-blog Additionally, me: *waiting for the subway* intrusive thoughts: what if you jumped me: it would cause a four hour delay while they pick your body parts out of the rails you fucking prick, can we please for once get on public transit without going through this rosefvondudehomie Also; Me: *walking along a busy road* intrusive thoughts: What if you just fell over in front of this truck? Me: It would back up traffic all fucking night and probably hurt a lot of people you prick. smallblueangel Gosh. I never have thoughts like this bpd-darling didnt ask but that sounds nice pluto-suxk Me: *walking down the stairs* Intrusive Thought: I could throw myself down these flight of stairs and leave more time for everyone else! Me: Or you end up with a broken wrist and sprain ankle you dickhead keep walking saveachocobo-rideaprompto Me: *driving on a bridge* Intrusive thoughts I could just drive straight into that lake and finish it right now. Me: You asshole, this is a new car. Just fucking keep going like everyon else you prick. noodle-boyy oh my god,MAAMAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA rosebadwolf1000 I needed this beka-tiddalik Me: *standing at a lookout* It's so beautiful here... Intrusive thoughts: yeah, look at that view, you could just step out into it and you'd probably never feel the impact when you hit the ground 20m below.. Me: Bitch, don't ruin the view for everyone else. Fucksake httpquotescum Me: *doing literally nothing* Intrusive thoughts: What if Me: Can't you just shut the fuck up and chill for once? God damn ramblingandpie Me: I wonder what my wife wants for dinner? Intrusive thought: a divorce Me: Now, Timothy, that's just uncalled for. You can't even eat that. Source: bpd-darling 233,165 notes Sassing those intrusive thoughts away.
Lookout: bpd-darling
 me (cleaning up): holds knife
 intrusive thoughts: what if
 me: ok edgelord we get it what if i slit my
 wrists right now can we please just focus
 egalitarian-nature-blog
 Additionally, me: *waiting for the subway*
 intrusive thoughts: what if you jumped me: it
 would cause a four hour delay while they pick
 your body parts out of the rails you fucking
 prick, can we please for once get on public
 transit without going through this
 rosefvondudehomie
 Also; Me: *walking along a busy road*
 intrusive thoughts: What if you just fell over
 in front of this truck? Me: It would back up
 traffic all fucking night and probably hurt a lot
 of people you prick.
 smallblueangel
 Gosh. I never have thoughts like this
 bpd-darling
 didnt ask but that sounds nice
 pluto-suxk
 Me: *walking down the stairs* Intrusive
 Thought: I could throw myself down these
 flight of stairs and leave more time for
 everyone else! Me: Or you end up with a
 broken wrist and sprain ankle you dickhead
 keep walking
 saveachocobo-rideaprompto
 Me: *driving on a bridge* Intrusive thoughts
 I could just drive straight into that lake and
 finish it right now. Me: You asshole, this is a
 new car. Just fucking keep going like everyon
 else you prick.
 noodle-boyy
 oh my god,MAAMAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
 rosebadwolf1000
 I needed this
 beka-tiddalik
 Me: *standing at a lookout* It's so beautiful
 here...
 Intrusive thoughts: yeah, look at that view, you
 could just step out into it and you'd probably
 never feel the impact when you hit the ground
 20m below..
 Me: Bitch, don't ruin the view for everyone
 else. Fucksake
 httpquotescum
 Me: *doing literally nothing*
 Intrusive thoughts: What if
 Me: Can't you just shut the fuck up and chill
 for once? God damn
 ramblingandpie
 Me: I wonder what my wife wants for dinner?
 Intrusive thought: a divorce
 Me: Now, Timothy, that's just uncalled for. You
 can't even eat that.
 Source: bpd-darling
 233,165 notes
Sassing those intrusive thoughts away.

Sassing those intrusive thoughts away.

Lookout: foodnetwork-fandom: sumo41: According to my nephews Julius Caesar book, Guy Fieri was there. on the lookout for some funky joints
Lookout: foodnetwork-fandom:
sumo41:

According to my nephews Julius Caesar book, Guy Fieri was there.

on the lookout for some funky joints

foodnetwork-fandom: sumo41: According to my nephews Julius Caesar book, Guy Fieri was there. on the lookout for some funky joints

Lookout: feynites.tumblr.com minesottafatspoollegend i love in fantasy when its like "king galamir the mighty golden eagle and his most trusted advisor who would never betray him, gruelworm bloodeye the treacherous When my sister and I were kids we had this one action figure, who was actually a brutalized batman doll without his cape (the dog chewed half his head, too), who we dubbed 'Evil Chancellor Traytor'. The idea was that in the fictional society of our toys, 'chancellor' just came with the word ‘evil, in front of it, as a matter of ancient tradition. Like grand, or high, or something along those lines Anyway, the running gag was that the king (an old Power Rangers knock-off doll) had absolute and unwavering faith in Evil Chancellor Traytor, who basically comported himself like a mix between Grima Wormtongue and Jafar from the Aladdin movies. Everyone was always sure that Evil Chancellor Traytor had something to do with the nefarious scheme of the day. The dude even carried around a poisoned knife called 'the kingslayer The additional twist on the joke, though, was that he never was behind anything. The king was actually right. Evil Chancellor Traytor was the most devoted civil servant in the entire Action Figure Dystopia. He spent his nights working on writing up new legislature to ensure that broken toys had access to mobility devices, was always on the lookout to acquire new shoeboxes for expanding city infrastructure, and drafted a proposal that once got half the 'settlement' in my sister and I's closet moved to the upper shelf so that vulnerable toys were less likely to be snatched up by the dog The knife, as it turned out, was as symbolic as the 'evi in his name. See, Action Figure Dystopia had a long history of corrupted monarchs getting too big for their thrones and exploiting the underclasses. The job of the Evil Chancellor was to always remain vigilant, and loyally serve a good ruler or, if the regent should became a despot, to slay them on behalf of the people But since killing the king would be a terrible crime, the Evil Chancellor had to be the kind of person who would willingly die to spare the people from the plight of a wicked leader because the murder would be pinned on them, in order to keep the 'machinery of politics working as smoothly as ever Anyway, Evil Chancellor Traytor had a diary, in which my sister I would take turns writing out the most over-the-top good shit he'd done behind the scenes. Usually after everyone else had finished talking shit about him. I don't know why but we got the biggest kick out of being like Barbie With the Unfortunate Haircut: Oh that Evil Chancellor Traytor! Why can't the king see how wicked he is?! Charmander From the Vending Machine: Char! Jurassic Park Toy of Jeff Goldblum With Disturbingly Realistic Face: At least if someone puts a knife in the king's back, we'll know where to look! Evil Chancellor Traytor's Diary: Today I was feeding ducks at the park when I noticed another legless action figure sitting by the benches. I put a hundred dollars into his bag while he wasn't looking. I really need to increase budgeting to the medical treatment centers. If only we had enough glue, I think we would see far fewer toys trying to get by without limbs insert iconic evil laugh Anyway, Evil Chancellor Traytor eventually fell victim to one of my mom's cleaning sprees and she decided he was too busted up to keep and tossed him out. My littler brother, who tended to follow my sister and I's games like he was watching a daily soap opera, cried so hard that we had to do a special 'episode' where one of the toys found the Evil Chancellor's diary, and so he got a big huge memorial and the king threw himself into the empty grave and then ordered the toys driving the toy bulldozer to bury him so that Traytor's grave would have a body' (this seemed very important for some reason) And then we had the Quest For a New King. Somehow or another that ended up being a giant rubber snake called Tyrant King Cobra (via besiderunningwaters) #my apologies for rambling #but it has been a long time since i thought about traytor #and that suddenly reminded me of him H APR 201 SOURCE SWEETBABYRAYSGOURMETSAUCES 78,236 NOTES The Unforgettable Tale of Evil Chancellor Traytor
Lookout: feynites.tumblr.com
 minesottafatspoollegend
 i love in fantasy when its like "king galamir the mighty golden eagle and his most
 trusted advisor who would never betray him, gruelworm bloodeye the treacherous
 When my sister and I were kids we had this one action figure, who was actually a brutalized
 batman doll without his cape (the dog chewed half his head, too), who we dubbed 'Evil
 Chancellor Traytor'. The idea was that in the fictional society of our toys, 'chancellor' just
 came with the word ‘evil, in front of it, as a matter of ancient tradition. Like grand, or high, or
 something along those lines
 Anyway, the running gag was that the king (an old Power Rangers knock-off doll) had
 absolute and unwavering faith in Evil Chancellor Traytor, who basically comported himself
 like a mix between Grima Wormtongue and Jafar from the Aladdin movies. Everyone was
 always sure that Evil Chancellor Traytor had something to do with the nefarious scheme of
 the day. The dude even carried around a poisoned knife called 'the kingslayer
 The additional twist on the joke, though, was that he never was behind anything. The king
 was actually right. Evil Chancellor Traytor was the most devoted civil servant in the entire
 Action Figure Dystopia. He spent his nights working on writing up new legislature to ensure
 that broken toys had access to mobility devices, was always on the lookout to acquire new
 shoeboxes for expanding city infrastructure, and drafted a proposal that once got half
 the 'settlement' in my sister and I's closet moved to the upper shelf so that vulnerable toys
 were less likely to be snatched up by the dog
 The knife, as it turned out, was as symbolic as the 'evi in his name. See, Action Figure
 Dystopia had a long history of corrupted monarchs getting too big for their thrones and
 exploiting the underclasses. The job of the Evil Chancellor was to always remain vigilant, and
 loyally serve a good ruler or, if the regent should became a despot, to slay them on behalf
 of the people
 But since killing the king would be a terrible crime, the Evil Chancellor had to be the kind of
 person who would willingly die to spare the people from the plight of a wicked leader
 because the murder would be pinned on them, in order to keep the 'machinery of politics
 working as smoothly as ever
 Anyway, Evil Chancellor Traytor had a diary, in which my sister I would take turns writing out
 the most over-the-top good shit he'd done behind the scenes. Usually after everyone else
 had finished talking shit about him. I don't know why but we got the biggest kick out of being
 like
 Barbie With the Unfortunate Haircut: Oh that Evil Chancellor Traytor! Why can't the king see
 how wicked he is?!
 Charmander From the Vending Machine: Char!
 Jurassic Park Toy of Jeff Goldblum With Disturbingly Realistic Face: At least if someone puts
 a knife in the king's back, we'll know where to look!
 Evil Chancellor Traytor's Diary: Today I was feeding ducks at the park when I noticed another
 legless action figure sitting by the benches. I put a hundred dollars into his bag while he
 wasn't looking. I really need to increase budgeting to the medical treatment centers. If only
 we had enough glue, I think we would see far fewer toys trying to get by without limbs
 insert iconic evil laugh
 Anyway, Evil Chancellor Traytor eventually fell victim to one of my mom's cleaning sprees
 and she decided he was too busted up to keep and tossed him out. My littler brother, who
 tended to follow my sister and I's games like he was watching a daily soap opera, cried so
 hard that we had to do a special 'episode' where one of the toys found the Evil Chancellor's
 diary, and so he got a big huge memorial and the king threw himself into the empty grave
 and then ordered the toys driving the toy bulldozer to bury him so that Traytor's grave would
 have a body' (this seemed very important for some reason)
 And then we had the Quest For a New King. Somehow or another that ended up being a
 giant rubber snake called Tyrant King Cobra
 (via besiderunningwaters)
 #my apologies for rambling #but it has been a long time since i thought about traytor
 #and that suddenly reminded me of him
 H APR 201
 SOURCE SWEETBABYRAYSGOURMETSAUCES 78,236 NOTES
The Unforgettable Tale of Evil Chancellor Traytor

The Unforgettable Tale of Evil Chancellor Traytor

Lookout: C ,d 40%. 11:52 PM minesottafatspoollegend i love in fantasy when its like "king galamir the mighty golden eagle and his most trusted advisor who would never betray him, gruelworm bloodeye the treacherous" es When my sister and I were kids we had this one action figure, who was actually a brutalized batman doll without his cape (the dog chewed half his head, too), who we dubbed 'Evil Chancellor Traytor. The idea was that in the fictional society of our toys, chancellor just came with the word 'evil in front of it, as a matter of ancient tradition Like 'grand' or 'high' or something along those lines Anyway, the running gag was that the king (an old Power Rangers knock-off doll) had absolute and unwavering faith in Evil Chancel- lor Traytor, who basically comported himself like a mix between Grima Wormtongue and Jafar from the Aladdin movies. Everyone was always sure that Evil Chancellor Traytor had something to do with the nefarious scheme of the day. The dude even carried around a poisoned knife called 'the kingslayer The additional twist on the joke, though, was that he never was behind anything. The king was actually right. Evil Chancellor Traytor was the most devoted civil servant in the entire Action Figure Dystopia. He spent his nights working on writing up new legislature to ensure that b mobility devices, was always on the lookout to acquire new shoeboxes for expanding city infrastructure, and drafted a proposal that once got half the 'settlement' in my sister and I's closet moved to the upper shelf so that vulnerable toys were less likely to be snatched roken toys had access to the dog The knife, as it turned out, was as symbolic as the evil in his name. See, Action Figure Dystopia had a long history of corrupted monarchs getting too big for their thrones and exploiting the underclasses. The job of the Evil Chancellor was to always remain vigilant, and loyally serve a good ruler-or, if the regent should became a despot, to slay them on behalf of the people But since killing the king would be a terrible crime, the Evil Chancellor had to be the kind of person who would willingly die to spare the people from the plight of a wicked leader, because the murder would be pinned on them, in order to keep the 'machinery of politics working as smoothly as ever Anyway, Evil Chancellor Traytor had a diary in which my sister I would take turns writing out the most over-the-top good shit he'd done behind the scenes. Usually after everyone else had finished talking shit about him. I don't know why but we got the biggest kick out of in Barbie With the Unfortunate Haircut: Oh that Evil Chancellor Traytor! Why can't the king see how wicked he is?! Charmander From the Vending Machine: Char! Jurassic Park Toy of Jeff Goldblum With Disturbingly Realistic Face: At least if someone puts a knife in the king's back, we'll know where to look! Evil Chancellor Traytor's Diary: Today I was feeding ducks at the park when I noticed another legless action figure sitting by the benches. I put a hundred dollars into his bag while he wasn't looking. I really need to increase budgeting to the medical treatment centers. If only we had enough glue, I think we would see far fewer toys trying to get by without limbs... insert iconic evil laugh* Anyway, Evil Chancellor Traytor eventually fell victim to one of my mom's cleaning sprees, and she decided he was too busted up to keep and tossed him out. My littler brother, who tended to follow my sister and I's games like he was watching a daily soap opera, cried so hard that we had to do a special 'episode where one of the toys found the Evil Chancellor's diary, and so he got a big huge memorial and the king threw himself into the empty grave and then ordered the toys driving the toy bulldozer to bury him so that 'Traytors grave would have a body' (this seemed very important for some reason) And then we had the Quest For a New King Somehow or another that ended up being a giant rubber snake called Tyrant King Cobra Source: sweetbabyr aysgourmetsauces 79,144 notes I want this to be an actual soap so bad
Lookout: C
 ,d 40%. 11:52 PM
 minesottafatspoollegend
 i love in fantasy when its like "king galamir
 the mighty golden eagle and his most
 trusted advisor who would never betray him,
 gruelworm bloodeye the treacherous"
 es
 When my sister and I were kids we had
 this one action figure, who was actually a
 brutalized batman doll without his cape
 (the dog chewed half his head, too), who
 we dubbed 'Evil Chancellor Traytor. The
 idea was that in the fictional society of our
 toys, chancellor just came with the word 'evil
 in front of it, as a matter of ancient tradition
 Like 'grand' or 'high' or something along those
 lines
 Anyway, the running gag was that the king
 (an old Power Rangers knock-off doll) had
 absolute and unwavering faith in Evil Chancel-
 lor Traytor, who basically comported himself
 like a mix between Grima Wormtongue and
 Jafar from the Aladdin movies. Everyone was
 always sure that Evil Chancellor Traytor had
 something to do with the nefarious scheme
 of the day. The dude even carried around a
 poisoned knife called 'the kingslayer
 The additional twist on the joke, though, was
 that he never was behind anything. The king
 was actually right. Evil Chancellor Traytor
 was the most devoted civil servant in the
 entire Action Figure Dystopia. He spent his
 nights working on writing up new legislature
 to ensure that b
 mobility devices, was always on the lookout
 to acquire new shoeboxes for expanding city
 infrastructure, and drafted a proposal that
 once got half the 'settlement' in my sister and
 I's closet moved to the upper shelf so that
 vulnerable toys were less likely to be snatched
 roken toys had access to
 the dog
 The knife, as it turned out, was as symbolic
 as the evil in his name. See, Action Figure
 Dystopia had a long history of corrupted
 monarchs getting too big for their thrones and
 exploiting the underclasses. The job of the
 Evil Chancellor was to always remain vigilant,
 and loyally serve a good ruler-or, if the regent
 should became a despot, to slay them on
 behalf of the people
 But since killing the king would be a terrible
 crime, the Evil Chancellor had to be the kind
 of person who would willingly die to spare
 the people from the plight of a wicked leader,
 because the murder would be pinned on them,
 in order to keep the 'machinery of politics
 working as smoothly as ever
 Anyway, Evil Chancellor Traytor had a diary
 in which my sister I would take turns writing
 out the most over-the-top good shit he'd done
 behind the scenes. Usually after everyone else
 had finished talking shit about him. I don't
 know why but we got the biggest kick out of
 in
 Barbie With the Unfortunate Haircut: Oh that
 Evil Chancellor Traytor! Why can't the king see
 how wicked he is?!
 Charmander From the Vending Machine: Char!
 Jurassic Park Toy of Jeff Goldblum With
 Disturbingly Realistic Face: At least if
 someone puts a knife in the king's back,
 we'll know where to look!
 Evil Chancellor Traytor's Diary: Today I was
 feeding ducks at the park when I noticed
 another legless action figure sitting by the
 benches. I put a hundred dollars into his
 bag while he wasn't looking. I really need to
 increase budgeting to the medical treatment
 centers. If only we had enough glue, I think
 we would see far fewer toys trying to get by
 without limbs... insert iconic evil laugh*
 Anyway, Evil Chancellor Traytor eventually fell
 victim to one of my mom's cleaning sprees,
 and she decided he was too busted up to keep
 and tossed him out. My littler brother, who
 tended to follow my sister and I's games like
 he was watching a daily soap opera, cried
 so hard that we had to do a special 'episode
 where one of the toys found the Evil
 Chancellor's diary, and so he got a big huge
 memorial and the king threw himself into the
 empty grave and then ordered the toys driving
 the toy bulldozer to bury him so that 'Traytors
 grave would have a body' (this seemed very
 important for some reason)
 And then we had the Quest For a New King
 Somehow or another that ended up being a
 giant rubber snake called Tyrant King Cobra
 Source: sweetbabyr
 aysgourmetsauces
 79,144 notes
I want this to be an actual soap so bad

I want this to be an actual soap so bad

Lookout: Authorities warn citizens to be on the lookout for this man, suspected of stealing 20 tons of Nutella.
Lookout: Authorities warn citizens to be on the lookout for this man, suspected of stealing 20 tons of Nutella.

Authorities warn citizens to be on the lookout for this man, suspected of stealing 20 tons of Nutella.