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Apparently, Bitch, and Dude: Hacker Scripts Based on a true story. xoox: OK, so, our build engineer has left for another company. The dude was literally living inside the terminal. You know that type of a guy who loves Vim, creates diagrams in Dot and writes wiki-posts in Markdown... I fsomething- anything requires more than 90 seconds of his time, he writes a script to automate that. xxoc: So we're sitting here, looking through his, uhm, "legacy xxx: You're gonna love this ooc: smack-my-bitch-up.sh -sends a text message "late at work" to his wife (apparently). Automatically picks reasons from an array of strings, randomly. Runs inside a cron-job. The job fires if there are active SSH-sessions on the server after 9pm with his login xxox: kumar-asshole.sh - scans the inbox for emails from "Kumar" (a DBA at our clients). Looks for keywords like "help" trouble", "sorry" etc. If keywords are found - the script SSHes into the clients server and rolls back the staging database to the latest backup. Then sends a reply "no worries mate, be careful next time" xxx: hangover.sh - another cron-job that is set to specific dates. Sends automated emails like "not feeling well/gonna work from home" etc. Adds a random "reason" from another predefined array of strings. Fires if there are no interactive sessions on the server at 8:45am xoox: (and the oscar goes to) fucking-coffee. sh this one waits exatly 17 seconds(), then opens a telnet session to our coffee-machine (we had no frikin idea the coffee machine is on the network, runs linux and has a TCP socket up and running) and sends something like sys brew.Turns out this thing starts brewing a mid-sized half-caf latte and waits another 24 () seconds before pouring it into a cup. The timing is exactly how long it takes to walk to the machine from the dudes desk. xoxx: holy sh"t I'm keeping those I found this on an old Git account
Apparently, Bitch, and Dude: Hacker Scripts
 Based on a true story.
 xoox: OK, so, our build engineer has left for another company. The dude was literally living inside the terminal. You know
 that type of a guy who loves Vim, creates diagrams in Dot and writes wiki-posts in Markdown... I fsomething- anything
 requires more than 90 seconds of his time, he writes a script to automate that.
 xxoc: So we're sitting here, looking through his, uhm, "legacy
 xxx: You're gonna love this
 ooc: smack-my-bitch-up.sh -sends a text message "late at work" to his wife (apparently). Automatically picks reasons
 from an array of strings, randomly. Runs inside a cron-job. The job fires if there are active SSH-sessions on the server
 after 9pm with his login
 xxox: kumar-asshole.sh - scans the inbox for emails from "Kumar" (a DBA at our clients). Looks for keywords like "help"
 trouble", "sorry" etc. If keywords are found - the script SSHes into the clients server and rolls back the staging database
 to the latest backup. Then sends a reply "no worries mate, be careful next time"
 xxx: hangover.sh - another cron-job that is set to specific dates. Sends automated emails like "not feeling well/gonna
 work from home" etc. Adds a random "reason" from another predefined array of strings. Fires if there are no interactive
 sessions on the server at 8:45am
 xoox: (and the oscar goes to) fucking-coffee. sh this one waits exatly 17 seconds(), then opens a telnet session to
 our coffee-machine (we had no frikin idea the coffee machine is on the network, runs linux and has a TCP socket up and
 running) and sends something like sys brew.Turns out this thing starts brewing a mid-sized half-caf latte and waits
 another 24 () seconds before pouring it into a cup. The timing is exactly how long it takes to walk to the machine from
 the dudes desk.
 xoxx: holy sh"t I'm keeping those
I found this on an old Git account

I found this on an old Git account

Love, Tumblr, and Blog: cel.. afe theofficialvincenzo: One of you lovelies asked what my take on a Jasper/Ruby(eyeball) fusion would be. Personally, I love this idea, so I give you: Hyacinth
Love, Tumblr, and Blog: cel..
 afe
theofficialvincenzo:

One of you lovelies asked what my take on a Jasper/Ruby(eyeball) fusion would be. Personally, I love this idea, so I give you: Hyacinth

theofficialvincenzo: One of you lovelies asked what my take on a Jasper/Ruby(eyeball) fusion would be. Personally, I love this idea, so I g...

Af, Boo, and Love: mens-rights-activia: xspiderfanx: is this the anemone woman? also I love this so much. you do you, boo! your nose ring be fly af! Haha it sure is, thanks love ❤️
Af, Boo, and Love: mens-rights-activia:
xspiderfanx:

is this the anemone woman? also I love this so much. you do you, boo! your nose ring be fly af!

Haha it sure is, thanks love ❤️

mens-rights-activia: xspiderfanx: is this the anemone woman? also I love this so much. you do you, boo! your nose ring be fly af! Haha it ...

Fake, Food, and Fucking: DIHYDROGEN MONOXIDE IS AN ACID WITHA PH LEVEL OF7 DIHYDROGEN MONOXIDE AWARENESS THAT'S A HIGHER PH LEVEL THAN ANY OTHER ACID! youngalientype: mod2amaryllis: chubby-aphrodite: darthlenaplant: nerdy-pharmacy-daydreams: bluegone: etherealastraea: dihydrogenmonoxideawareness: Why would anyone want to consume it!? I teach my 7th graders about the dangers of dihydrogen monoxide. I bring in a graduated cylinder of it and we talk about how it’s used in nuclear power plants and gmo crops. How inhaling even the small amount I’m holding can lead to suffocation or even death. It’s found in vaccines and cancer cells, but also in infant formula and pet food. It is a huge component of acid rain, can cause severe burns, and has been found in places that were thought to be the most pristine and unpolluted locations on earth. We talk about how there are little to no regulations on this chemical. No bans, no warning labels, and most manufacturers don’t even have to disclose their use of it in their products. My students are outraged. We talk about what we can do. Create posters and flyers to spread awareness. Contact our senators with petitions to ban DHMO. Spread this information all over social media. Then I explain that the real problem with dihydrogen monoxide is that….when I am thirsty…there is just nothing else as refreshing, and then I watch their looks of absolute shock and horror as I drink the entire vial down. I. Fucking. Love. This. This is how misinformation works. How propaganda works. How manipulation works. may our education be stronger than fake news Amen. To those who don’t get it: “Dihydrogen monoxide” is the chemical name for water, AKA H2O. another important element of understanding the joke is understanding how pH levels work yup.  that’s a higher number alright. “Everyone who has ever touched or consumed this chemical has died”
Fake, Food, and Fucking: DIHYDROGEN MONOXIDE IS
 AN ACID WITHA PH LEVEL OF7
 DIHYDROGEN
 MONOXIDE
 AWARENESS
 THAT'S A HIGHER PH LEVEL
 THAN ANY OTHER ACID!
youngalientype:

mod2amaryllis:

chubby-aphrodite:

darthlenaplant:

nerdy-pharmacy-daydreams:


bluegone:


etherealastraea:

dihydrogenmonoxideawareness:

Why would anyone want to consume it!?

I teach my 7th graders about the dangers of dihydrogen monoxide.
I bring in a graduated cylinder of it and we talk about how it’s used in nuclear power plants and gmo crops. How inhaling even the small amount I’m holding can lead to suffocation or even death. It’s found in vaccines and cancer cells, but also in infant formula and pet food. It is a huge component of acid rain, can cause severe burns, and has been found in places that were thought to be the most pristine and unpolluted locations on earth.
We talk about how there are little to no regulations on this chemical. No bans, no warning labels, and most manufacturers don’t even have to disclose their use of it in their products.
My students are outraged. We talk about what we can do. Create posters and flyers to spread awareness. Contact our senators with petitions to ban DHMO. Spread this information all over social media.
Then I explain that the real problem with dihydrogen monoxide is that….when I am thirsty…there is just nothing else as refreshing, and then I watch their looks of absolute shock and horror as I drink the entire vial down. 



I. Fucking. Love. This.
This is how misinformation works. How propaganda works. How manipulation works.


may our education be stronger than fake news


Amen.

To those who don’t get it:
“Dihydrogen monoxide” is the chemical name for water, AKA H2O.

another important element of understanding the joke is understanding how pH levels work
yup.  that’s a higher number alright.

“Everyone who has ever touched or consumed this chemical has died”

youngalientype: mod2amaryllis: chubby-aphrodite: darthlenaplant: nerdy-pharmacy-daydreams: bluegone: etherealastraea: dihydrogenmon...