🔥 | Latest

Amazon, Ass, and Dildo: bandtshirt jillz @JillyKila Amazon got me fucked up tellin all my business!!! 5:01 PM.1/14/19 Twitter for iPhone LMAO00000000 theblackd4hlia no but seriously one time i ordered something from adam & eve (surprise a big ol dildo) and the order said discreet shipping and i was like cool ya know cause i lived with three dudes in an apartment and also had to go to the apartment office to pick up my package so discreet is dope and i got the package delivery notification like sick im about to dick myself so i walked my happy horny ass down to the office and told the lady my name and she went into the package delivery room to grab it and it took her a minute and she came out with a dick shaped bag just grasping the shaft of it and i looked at it mortified and had to grab the balls part of the package from the woman and she let go and it just wiggled and i could feel the squish through the bag and it was just horrible anonbuddha If it's any consolation, I get it. I'm a trans guy who wears a packer. One day I was in the restroom and pulled my pants down. I realy had to go so l did it fast and the magnet clip came undone and my dick flopped out of my boxers and bounced into the stall next to me The OCCUPIED stall next to me. I wanted to die. There was this horrible forever silence moments. Then the dude just goes, Uh, you dropped your dick man," and nudges it over with his foot i havent laughed this hard in a month via /r/memes http://bit.ly/2DXBsD0
Amazon, Ass, and Dildo: bandtshirt
 jillz
 @JillyKila
 Amazon got me fucked up tellin all
 my business!!!
 5:01 PM.1/14/19 Twitter for iPhone
 LMAO00000000
 theblackd4hlia
 no but seriously one time i ordered something from adam & eve (surprise a big
 ol dildo) and the order said discreet shipping and i was like cool ya know cause
 i lived with three dudes in an apartment and also had to go to the apartment
 office to pick up my package so discreet is dope and i got the package delivery
 notification like sick im about to dick myself so i walked my happy horny ass
 down to the office and told the lady my name and she went into the package
 delivery room to grab it and it took her a minute and she came out with a dick
 shaped bag just grasping the shaft of it and i looked at it mortified and had to
 grab the balls part of the package from the woman and she let go and it just
 wiggled and i could feel the squish through the bag and it was just horrible
 anonbuddha
 If it's any consolation, I get it. I'm a trans guy who wears a packer. One day I
 was in the restroom and pulled my pants down. I realy had to go so l did it fast
 and the magnet clip came undone and my dick flopped out of my boxers and
 bounced into the stall next to me
 The OCCUPIED stall next to me.
 I wanted to die. There was this horrible forever silence moments. Then the
 dude just goes, Uh, you dropped your dick man," and nudges it over with his
 foot
i havent laughed this hard in a month via /r/memes http://bit.ly/2DXBsD0

i havent laughed this hard in a month via /r/memes http://bit.ly/2DXBsD0

Amazon, Ass, and Dank: bandtshirt jillz @JillyKila Amazon got me fucked up tellin all my business!!! 5:01 PM.1/14/19 Twitter for iPhone LMAO00000000 theblackd4hlia no but seriously one time i ordered something from adam & eve (surprise a big ol dildo) and the order said discreet shipping and i was like cool ya know cause i lived with three dudes in an apartment and also had to go to the apartment office to pick up my package so discreet is dope and i got the package delivery notification like sick im about to dick myself so i walked my happy horny ass down to the office and told the lady my name and she went into the package delivery room to grab it and it took her a minute and she came out with a dick shaped bag just grasping the shaft of it and i looked at it mortified and had to grab the balls part of the package from the woman and she let go and it just wiggled and i could feel the squish through the bag and it was just horrible anonbuddha If it's any consolation, I get it. I'm a trans guy who wears a packer. One day I was in the restroom and pulled my pants down. I realy had to go so l did it fast and the magnet clip came undone and my dick flopped out of my boxers and bounced into the stall next to me The OCCUPIED stall next to me. I wanted to die. There was this horrible forever silence moments. Then the dude just goes, Uh, you dropped your dick man," and nudges it over with his foot i havent laughed this hard in a month by macmoosie MORE MEMES
Amazon, Ass, and Dank: bandtshirt
 jillz
 @JillyKila
 Amazon got me fucked up tellin all
 my business!!!
 5:01 PM.1/14/19 Twitter for iPhone
 LMAO00000000
 theblackd4hlia
 no but seriously one time i ordered something from adam & eve (surprise a big
 ol dildo) and the order said discreet shipping and i was like cool ya know cause
 i lived with three dudes in an apartment and also had to go to the apartment
 office to pick up my package so discreet is dope and i got the package delivery
 notification like sick im about to dick myself so i walked my happy horny ass
 down to the office and told the lady my name and she went into the package
 delivery room to grab it and it took her a minute and she came out with a dick
 shaped bag just grasping the shaft of it and i looked at it mortified and had to
 grab the balls part of the package from the woman and she let go and it just
 wiggled and i could feel the squish through the bag and it was just horrible
 anonbuddha
 If it's any consolation, I get it. I'm a trans guy who wears a packer. One day I
 was in the restroom and pulled my pants down. I realy had to go so l did it fast
 and the magnet clip came undone and my dick flopped out of my boxers and
 bounced into the stall next to me
 The OCCUPIED stall next to me.
 I wanted to die. There was this horrible forever silence moments. Then the
 dude just goes, Uh, you dropped your dick man," and nudges it over with his
 foot
i havent laughed this hard in a month by macmoosie
MORE MEMES

i havent laughed this hard in a month by macmoosie MORE MEMES

Cats, Tumblr, and Blog: lolzandtrollz: Cardboard Is Like A Magnet For Cats
Cats, Tumblr, and Blog: lolzandtrollz:

Cardboard Is Like A Magnet For Cats

lolzandtrollz: Cardboard Is Like A Magnet For Cats

Bones, Deer, and Family: You xxpurpleshadowsxx whoopsrobots l figured I'd put up a list of all the weird crap l've found aroung home as a kid 1. When I was six, a mummified hairless cat just sort of appeared by the house. I had to jump over it wheneverI went anywhere. Nobody moved it, it was just there for a few months and then it disappeared 2. There was a cow head just laying out back for a while. I think my gramma was feeding it to the chickens. I fucking hate the chickens 3. Every Halloween, my mom would send me to the dead pile to get bones to scatter around the yard for decorations. I never really realized it was weird that we had things called 'dead piles', but there you go 4. My brain went fuzzy during a family barbecue and I don't know what to tell you but left for twenty minutes and came back with four other girls wearing cow pelvises and tubing as armour and claiming myself to be the mighty lord magnet-tron 5. I found a kayak in the forest once. I brought it home, but my gramma stole it 6. Found a cracked fish tank buried under a tree once. I took it home, but my gramma stole it 7. There's a lot of bathtubs in the forest and I don't know why 8. Someone left a deer head on the porch once. Not sure why Just the whole head, cut off at the neck. That was odd 9. There's just these... Weird, powdery chunks of.. I dunno, something. Just buried all over. I don't know if they're soft rocks or what 10. Some friends and I found something big and dead inside a garbage bag under a log, once. We told an adult but they said not to worry about it so we sort of let it go. It's been nine years and nobody's questioned it 11. Our rooster killed itself. Not sure how, but it did 12. A bird carried my cat away when I was 7 and nobody told me so l spent 6 weeks looking for it. I only found half. 13. There's a lot of skulls 14. There's a spot out back where kitchen appliances just show up. I found a wok, a toaster, a toaster oven, and two sinks so far 15. A bunch of porn was just.. In the woods. DVDs. And a couple bible on-casette albums. 3 pairs of prescription glasses. Someone was into some weird shit, I guess 16. Sometimes the air smells like death and my mom just goes, 'think it was something big? And I have to go find it 17. My gramma keeps collecting toilets and 4 foot tall solid wooden lawn gnomes and decorating the driveway with them 18. Every once and a while the sky just doesn't go all the way dark at night and I've stopped questioning it whoopsrobots Okay I don't know how this got so popular al of a sudden, but I've gotten a lot of messages asking if I live in Nightvale or a supernatural episode and I feel the need to clarify that while some of this stuff is kinda freaky my town is actually a rather pleasant place to live. I mean, there's the ocassional imploded fence and something in the forest that whistles back, but we get some lovely sunsets and the sheep don't bite 142,417 notes Hmm spooky
Bones, Deer, and Family: You xxpurpleshadowsxx
 whoopsrobots
 l figured I'd put up a list of all the
 weird crap l've found aroung
 home as a kid
 1. When I was six, a mummified hairless cat just sort of appeared by the
 house. I had to jump over it wheneverI went anywhere. Nobody moved it, it
 was just there for a few months and then it disappeared
 2. There was a cow head just laying out back for a while. I think my gramma
 was feeding it to the chickens. I fucking hate the chickens
 3. Every Halloween, my mom would send me to the dead pile to get bones to
 scatter around the yard for decorations. I never really realized it was weird
 that we had things called 'dead piles', but there you go
 4. My brain went fuzzy during a family barbecue and I don't know what to tell
 you but left for twenty minutes and came back with four other girls wearing
 cow pelvises and tubing as armour and claiming myself to be the mighty lord
 magnet-tron
 5. I found a kayak in the forest once. I brought it home, but my gramma stole
 it
 6. Found a cracked fish tank buried under a tree once. I took it home, but my
 gramma stole it
 7. There's a lot of bathtubs in the forest and I don't know why
 8. Someone left a deer head on the porch once. Not sure why Just the whole
 head, cut off at the neck. That was odd
 9. There's just these... Weird, powdery chunks of.. I dunno, something. Just
 buried all over. I don't know if they're soft rocks or what
 10. Some friends and I found something big and dead inside a garbage bag
 under a log, once. We told an adult but they said not to worry about it so we
 sort of let it go. It's been nine years and nobody's questioned it
 11. Our rooster killed itself. Not sure how, but it did
 12. A bird carried my cat away when I was 7 and nobody told me so l spent 6
 weeks looking for it. I only found half.
 13. There's a lot of skulls
 14. There's a spot out back where kitchen appliances just show up. I found a
 wok, a toaster, a toaster oven, and two sinks so far
 15. A bunch of porn was just.. In the woods. DVDs. And a couple bible
 on-casette albums. 3 pairs of prescription glasses. Someone was into some
 weird shit, I guess
 16. Sometimes the air smells like death and my mom just goes, 'think it was
 something big? And I have to go find it
 17. My gramma keeps collecting toilets and 4 foot tall solid wooden lawn
 gnomes and decorating the driveway with them
 18. Every once and a while the sky just doesn't go all the way dark at night
 and I've stopped questioning it
 whoopsrobots
 Okay I don't know how this got so popular al of a sudden, but I've gotten a lot
 of messages asking if I live in Nightvale or a supernatural episode and I feel
 the need to clarify that while some of this stuff is kinda freaky my town is
 actually a rather pleasant place to live. I mean, there's the ocassional
 imploded fence and something in the forest that whistles back, but we get
 some lovely sunsets and the sheep don't bite
 142,417 notes
Hmm spooky

Hmm spooky

Fridge, Set, and For: So I ordered this magnet set for my fridge. I am pleased.
Fridge, Set, and For: So I ordered this magnet set for my fridge. I am pleased.

So I ordered this magnet set for my fridge. I am pleased.