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Dating, Fire, and Head: The COMPLETE WORST-CASE SCENARIO Survival Handbook DATING & SEX By David Borgenicht, Joshua Piven, and Ben H. Winters HOW TO SURVIVE IF YOU HAVE EXCESSIVE GAS 1 Limit your lactose intake during the date Many people suffer from an inability to digest milk sugar, or lactose. Colon bacteria ferment the milk sugar, forming a gas that creates a bloated feeling Keep your intake to less than half a cup at a sitting, and avoid dairy products before your date 2Eat a small meal. Eating a huge dinner on a date is a sure-fire way to precipitate gas 3Avoid gas-forming foods. Bacteria ferment the indigestible carbohydrates in beans, broccoli, cabbage, and other vegetables and fruits into gases 4 Drink peppermint tea. Replace an after-dinner drink with a cup or two of peppermint tea. This herb may give you some relief from the gas discomfort that follows a meal. 5 Emit the gas in private. As a last resort, head to the bathroom. If you feel bloated but are unable to pass gas easily, you can facili- tate the emission of gas as follows Kneel on the floor, bend forward, and stretch your arms out in front of you. Keep your buttocks bigh in the air, forming a tri- angle with your upper body and the floor Place paper towels on the floor. Kneel on the towels, bend forward to the floor, and stretch your arms out in front of you. Keep your buttocks high in the air, form- ing a triangle with your upper body and the floor. This position will force out the unwanted gas and relieve the pressure. novelty-gift-ideas: The Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook: Dating Sex
Dating, Fire, and Head: The
 COMPLETE
 WORST-CASE SCENARIO
 Survival Handbook
 DATING & SEX
 By David Borgenicht, Joshua Piven,
 and Ben H. Winters

 HOW TO SURVIVE
 IF YOU HAVE
 EXCESSIVE GAS
 1 Limit your lactose intake during the date
 Many people suffer from an inability to digest milk
 sugar, or lactose. Colon bacteria ferment the milk
 sugar, forming a gas that creates a bloated feeling
 Keep your intake to less than half a cup at a sitting,
 and avoid dairy products before your date
 2Eat a small meal.
 Eating a huge dinner on a date is a sure-fire way to
 precipitate gas
 3Avoid gas-forming foods.
 Bacteria ferment the indigestible carbohydrates in
 beans, broccoli, cabbage, and other vegetables and
 fruits into gases
 4
 Drink peppermint tea.
 Replace an after-dinner drink with a cup or two of
 peppermint tea. This herb may give you some relief
 from the gas discomfort that follows a meal.
 5
 Emit the gas in private.
 As a last resort, head to the bathroom. If you feel
 bloated but are unable to pass gas easily, you can facili-
 tate the emission of gas as follows

 Kneel on the floor, bend forward, and stretch your arms out in
 front of you. Keep your buttocks bigh in the air, forming a tri-
 angle with your upper body and the floor
 Place paper towels on the floor. Kneel on the towels,
 bend forward to the floor, and stretch your arms out in
 front of you. Keep your buttocks high in the air, form-
 ing a triangle with your upper body and the floor. This
 position will force out the unwanted gas and relieve
 the pressure.
novelty-gift-ideas:

The Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook: Dating  Sex

novelty-gift-ideas: The Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook: Dating Sex

80s, Bad, and Christmas: Chris Kohler @kobunheat 18m We have ET. WE HAVE ET pic.twitter.com/fIPTXgsyoo Expand 4, Reply Retweet ★ Favorite More Chris Kohler @kobunheat-4m Close up. pic.twitter.com/inSKukib24 ATARI 75 Expand Reply Retweet FavoriteMoe lightspeedsound: videogamesarepurehappiness: maqdaddio: ask-gallows-callibrator: vergess: coelasquid: derples: raisehelia: cavebae: estpolis: mrdappersden: They did it, they fucking did it. holyfducjk HISTORY holy shit! can someone explain this to me Thirty years ago a legendary ET game came to fruition, so awful that as the tale told, all unsold copies of it were buried in a pit in New Mexico. A documentary film crew has just unearthed the stash, proving the legend true. I don’t think people fully grasp just how awful it was. This one game, by the sheer merit of its unmatched shittiness, destroyed the video game and console market so thoroughly that the at home video game nearly went the way of the 8-track player. It was literally so awful that it nearly changed the entire course of technology. how can a video game possibly be that bad People don’t really understand why it was terrible though, and the reasons why are extremely important and relevant especially today. The game itself is bad, yes. It was built up to be an exciting hit for kids to play at Christmas in 1982. So much in fact, that retailers bought WAY more stock then could every be sold based on the hype. However, people at the time liked the game. It looks bad now, but the game itself was pretty on par with the times. It wound up selling 1.5 million copies. Which would be great, except Atari was expecting to sell 4-5 million. While initial reception was positive, critics started panning the game as critics do. While it was no worse than most other games at the time, it was stil frustrating and hard to play. It could not live up to the hype that had been built and negative press built up quickly. But what was ALSO happening was a flood of cheap imitations on the market. ET is a licensed game, and like all licenses comes at a higher markup. So if you wanted to buy a game for yourself or your kid, would you buy 1 game, or 2 for the same price? Atari was also screwing around with how they handled their distributors. Just before the game went to public, but AFTER the game had been bought and shipped, Atari announced that they were cancelling every existing contract with distributors and signing with only a select few. So distributors, now pissed off and with an abundance of games that were NOT selling and with prices slashed horribly to sell games that people were quickly losing interest in, retailers put their claims to return a collective 2.5-3.5 million copies back to Atari. Atari, unable to recycle the cartridges or resell them in any way, wound up burying them in the Nevada desert. This caused the Video Game Crash of the early 80s that put a dark mark on video games until Nintendo (and in some small part other game companies) to revive later.   It was the perfect storm. An over-hyped overpriced game sold to an increasingly frustrated and over-saturated market with retailers scrambling to make a dime while Game Devs blame the market for poor sales. Some say the proverbial planets are aligning again, with way too many consoles putting way too samey games on the market at way too high a cost with a strong dependence on Pre-orders and pre-order exclusives. Wanna give the game a shot?  Internet Archives actually has a copy of it at this link: https://archive.org/details/E.T._The_Extra-Terrestrial_1982_Atari_NTSC this is like the dutch tulip bubble of our times
80s, Bad, and Christmas: Chris Kohler @kobunheat 18m
 We have ET. WE HAVE ET pic.twitter.com/fIPTXgsyoo
 Expand
 4, Reply
 Retweet ★ Favorite More

 Chris Kohler @kobunheat-4m
 Close up. pic.twitter.com/inSKukib24
 ATARI
 75
 Expand
 Reply Retweet FavoriteMoe
lightspeedsound:

videogamesarepurehappiness:

maqdaddio:

ask-gallows-callibrator:

vergess:

coelasquid:

derples:

raisehelia:

cavebae:

estpolis:

mrdappersden:

They did it, they fucking did it.

holyfducjk

HISTORY

holy shit!

can someone explain this to me

Thirty years ago a legendary ET game came to fruition, so awful that as the tale told, all unsold copies of it were buried in a pit in New Mexico. A documentary film crew has just unearthed the stash, proving the legend true.

I don’t think people fully grasp just how awful it was. This one game, by the sheer merit of its unmatched shittiness, destroyed the video game and console market so thoroughly that the at home video game nearly went the way of the 8-track player.
It was literally so awful that it nearly changed the entire course of technology.

how can a video game possibly be that bad

People don’t really understand why it was terrible though, and the reasons why are extremely important and relevant especially today.
The game itself is bad, yes. It was built up to be an exciting hit for kids to play at Christmas in 1982. So much in fact, that retailers bought WAY more stock then could every be sold based on the hype.
However, people at the time liked the game. It looks bad now, but the game itself was pretty on par with the times. It wound up selling 1.5 million copies. Which would be great, except Atari was expecting to sell 4-5 million.
While initial reception was positive, critics started panning the game as critics do. While it was no worse than most other games at the time, it was stil frustrating and hard to play. It could not live up to the hype that had been built and negative press built up quickly.
But what was ALSO happening was a flood of cheap imitations on the market. ET is a licensed game, and like all licenses comes at a higher markup. So if you wanted to buy a game for yourself or your kid, would you buy 1 game, or 2 for the same price?
Atari was also screwing around with how they handled their distributors. Just before the game went to public, but AFTER the game had been bought and shipped, Atari announced that they were cancelling every existing contract with distributors and signing with only a select few.
So distributors, now pissed off and with an abundance of games that were NOT selling and with prices slashed horribly to sell games that people were quickly losing interest in, retailers put their claims to return a collective 2.5-3.5 million copies back to Atari. Atari, unable to recycle the cartridges or resell them in any way, wound up burying them in the Nevada desert.


This caused the Video Game Crash of the early 80s that put a dark mark on video games until Nintendo (and in some small part other game companies) to revive later. 
 It was the perfect storm. An over-hyped overpriced game sold to an increasingly frustrated and over-saturated market with retailers scrambling to make a dime while Game Devs blame the market for poor sales.

Some say the proverbial planets are aligning again, with way too many consoles putting way too samey games on the market at way too high a cost with a strong dependence on Pre-orders and pre-order exclusives.

Wanna give the game a shot?  Internet Archives actually has a copy of it at this link:
https://archive.org/details/E.T._The_Extra-Terrestrial_1982_Atari_NTSC

this is like the dutch tulip bubble of our times

lightspeedsound: videogamesarepurehappiness: maqdaddio: ask-gallows-callibrator: vergess: coelasquid: derples: raisehelia: cavebae: ...

Alive, Apparently, and Come Over: I'm a therapist and keep this poster in my waiting room, apparently it's saved a few lives I DONT LIKE THE PHRASE "A CRY FOR HELP"ェJuST DONT LKE HOW IT SOuNDS, WHEN SOMEBODY SAYS TO ME, "I'M THINKING ABOUT SUICIDE, I HAVE A PLAN: I JUST NEED A REASON NOT TO DOITTHE LAST THING I SEE IS HELPLESSNESS. I THINK: YOUR DEPRESSION HAS BEEN BEATING YOU UP FOR YEARS. IT'S CALLED YOU UGLY, AND STUPID, AND PATHETIC, AND A FAILURE, FOR SO LONG THAT YOU'VE FORGOTTEN THAT IT'S WRONG. YOU DON'T SEE ANY GOOD IN YOURSELF, AND YOu DON'T HAVE ANY HOPE. BUT STILL, HERE YOu ARE: YOU'VE COME OVER TO ME, BANGED ON MY DOOR, AND SAID, "HEY! STAYING ALIVE IS REALLY HARD RIGHT NOW! JUST GIVE ME SOMETHING TO FIGHT WITHI I DON'T CARE IF IT'S A STICK! GIVE ME A STICK AND I CAN STAY ALIVE!" HOW IS THAT HELPLESS? I THINK THAT'S INCREDIBLE. YOU'RE LIKE A MARINE: TRAPPED FOR YEARS BEHIND ENEMY LINES, YOUR GUN HAS BEEN TAKEN AWAY, YOU'RE OUT OF AMMO, YOU'RE MALNOURISHED, AND YOU'VE PROBABLY CAIGHT SOME KIND OF JUNGLE VIRUS THAT'S MAKING YOU HALLLICINATE GIANT SPIDERS AND YOU'RE STILL JUST GOING, "GIVE ME A STICK. I'M NOT DYING OUT HERE." "A CRY FOR HELP" MAKES IT SOND LIKE I'M SuppOSED TO AKE PITY ON YOu, BUT YOU DON'T NEED MY PITY THIS ISNT PATHETIC. THIS IS THE WILL TO SURVIVE. THIS IS HOW HUMANS LIVED LONG ENOIGH TO BECOME THE DOMINANT SPECIES. WITH NO HOPE, RUNNING ON NOTHING, YOU'RE READY TO CLIT THROUGH A HUNDRED MILES OF HOSTILE JUNGLE WITH NOTHING BUT A STICK, IF THATS WHAT IT TAKES TO GET TO SAFETY ALL IM DOING IS HANDING OUT STICKS YOU'RE THE ONE STAYING ALIVE irondad-not-ironsad: aurora-nerin: tea-rabbits: ultimate-science-nerd: positivelyqueerace: dreamsrainandwitchythings: intp-again: muslimintp-1999-girl: asexualchristian: mentalmentalhealth: girlwhorpsalot: I needed this. Thank you to all the people who posted this so I ended up seeing it. I really needed this right now. Thank you! Yeah… Not gonna lie… I cried… We need more people like this Goddamn it stop making me feel human The therapist I wanna be. Text in the image: “I’m a therapist and keep this poster in my waiting room, apparently it’s saved a few lives.” I don’t like the phrase “a cry for help.” I just don’t like how it sounds. When somebody says to me, “I’m thinking about suicide. I have a plan: I just need a reason not to do it,” the last thing I see is helplessness. I think your depression has been beating you up for years. It’s called you ugly, and stupid, and pathetic, and a failure, for so long that you’ve forgotten that it’s wrong. You don’t see any good in yourself, and you don’t have any hope. But still here you are: you’ve come over to me, banged on my door and said, “HEY! Staying alive is REALLY HARD right now! Just give me something to fight with! I don’t care if it’s a stick! Give me a stick and I can stay alive!” How is that helpless? I think that’s incredible. You’re like a marine: trapped for years behind enemy lines. Your gun has been taken away, you’re out of ammo, you’re malnourished, and you’ve probably caught some kind of jungle virus that’s making you hallucinate giant spiders. And you’re still just going, “GIVE ME A STICK. I’M NOT DYING OUT HERE.”“A cry for help” makes it sound like I’m supposed to take pity on you, but you don’t need my pity. This isn’t pathetic. This is the will to survive. This is how humans lived long enough to become the dominant species. With NO hope, running on NOTHING, you’re ready to cut through a hundred miles of hostile jungle with nothing but a stick, if that’s what it takes to get to safety. All I’m doing is handing out sticks. You’re the one saying alive. I legit cried at this. I’ve needed to hear it put this way. Bless this post. Every time I see this post I stop to read the whole image. It always helps — even on the good days. Because it wasn’t weakness. It wasn’t shameful to seek help. It wasn’t pathetic to “cry for help”. I was looking for a stick, be that from myself or from someone else. I was trying to find a way out. I was trying to heal myself. this is fuckin incredible.  I’m sorry if I repost to many of these, but if it could be someone’s “stick” then it’s worth it I needed this so much
Alive, Apparently, and Come Over: I'm a therapist and keep this poster
 in my waiting room, apparently it's
 saved a few lives
 I DONT LIKE THE PHRASE "A CRY FOR HELP"ェJuST DONT LKE
 HOW IT SOuNDS, WHEN SOMEBODY SAYS TO ME, "I'M THINKING
 ABOUT SUICIDE, I HAVE A PLAN: I JUST NEED A REASON NOT TO
 DOITTHE LAST THING I SEE IS HELPLESSNESS.
 I THINK: YOUR DEPRESSION HAS BEEN BEATING YOU UP FOR YEARS.
 IT'S CALLED YOU UGLY, AND STUPID, AND PATHETIC, AND A FAILURE,
 FOR SO LONG THAT YOU'VE FORGOTTEN THAT IT'S WRONG. YOU DON'T
 SEE ANY GOOD IN YOURSELF, AND YOu DON'T HAVE ANY HOPE.
 BUT STILL, HERE YOu ARE: YOU'VE COME OVER TO ME, BANGED ON MY
 DOOR, AND SAID, "HEY! STAYING ALIVE IS REALLY HARD RIGHT NOW!
 JUST GIVE ME SOMETHING TO FIGHT WITHI I DON'T CARE IF IT'S
 A STICK! GIVE ME A STICK AND I CAN STAY ALIVE!"
 HOW IS THAT HELPLESS? I THINK THAT'S INCREDIBLE. YOU'RE LIKE
 A MARINE: TRAPPED FOR YEARS BEHIND ENEMY LINES, YOUR GUN
 HAS BEEN TAKEN AWAY, YOU'RE OUT OF AMMO, YOU'RE
 MALNOURISHED, AND YOU'VE PROBABLY CAIGHT SOME KIND OF
 JUNGLE VIRUS THAT'S MAKING YOU HALLLICINATE GIANT SPIDERS
 AND YOU'RE STILL JUST GOING, "GIVE ME A STICK.
 I'M NOT DYING OUT HERE."
 "A CRY FOR HELP" MAKES IT SOND LIKE I'M SuppOSED TO
 AKE PITY ON YOu, BUT YOU DON'T NEED MY PITY THIS ISNT
 PATHETIC. THIS IS THE WILL TO SURVIVE. THIS IS HOW HUMANS
 LIVED LONG ENOIGH TO BECOME THE DOMINANT SPECIES.
 WITH NO HOPE, RUNNING ON NOTHING, YOU'RE READY TO CLIT
 THROUGH A HUNDRED MILES OF HOSTILE JUNGLE WITH NOTHING
 BUT A STICK, IF THATS WHAT IT TAKES TO GET TO SAFETY
 ALL IM DOING IS HANDING OUT STICKS
 YOU'RE THE ONE STAYING ALIVE
irondad-not-ironsad:
aurora-nerin:

tea-rabbits:

ultimate-science-nerd:


positivelyqueerace:


dreamsrainandwitchythings:

intp-again:

muslimintp-1999-girl:


asexualchristian:

mentalmentalhealth:

girlwhorpsalot:

I needed this.


Thank you to all the people who posted this so I ended up seeing it.  I really needed this right now. Thank you!

Yeah… Not gonna lie… I cried…


We need more people like this


Goddamn it stop making me feel human

The therapist I wanna be.

Text in the image:
“I’m a therapist and keep this poster in my waiting room, apparently it’s saved a few lives.”
I don’t like the phrase “a cry for help.” I just don’t like how it sounds. When somebody says to me, “I’m thinking about suicide. I have a plan: I just need a reason not to do it,” the last thing I see is helplessness.
I think your depression has been beating you up for years. It’s called you ugly, and stupid, and pathetic, and a failure, for so long that you’ve forgotten that it’s wrong. You don’t see any good in yourself, and you don’t have any hope.
But still here you are: you’ve come over to me, banged on my door and said, “HEY! Staying alive is REALLY HARD right now! Just give me something to fight with! I don’t care if it’s a stick! Give me a stick and I can stay alive!”
How is that helpless? I think that’s incredible. You’re like a marine: trapped for years behind enemy lines. Your gun has been taken away, you’re out of ammo, you’re malnourished, and you’ve probably caught some kind of jungle virus that’s making you hallucinate giant spiders.
And you’re still just going, “GIVE ME A STICK. I’M NOT DYING OUT HERE.”“A cry for help” makes it sound like I’m supposed to take pity on you, but you don’t need my pity. This isn’t pathetic. This is the will to survive. This is how humans lived long enough to become the dominant species.
With NO hope, running on NOTHING, you’re ready to cut through a hundred miles of hostile jungle with nothing but a stick, if that’s what it takes to get to safety.
All I’m doing is handing out sticks.
You’re the one saying alive.


I legit cried at this. I’ve needed to hear it put this way. Bless this post.


Every time I see this post I stop to read the whole image.  It always helps — even on the good days.  
Because it wasn’t weakness.  It wasn’t shameful to seek help.  It wasn’t pathetic to “cry for help”.  I was looking for a stick, be that from myself or from someone else.  I was trying to find a way out. I was trying to heal myself.

this is fuckin incredible. 


I’m sorry if I repost to many of these, but if it could be someone’s “stick” then it’s worth it


I needed this so much

irondad-not-ironsad: aurora-nerin: tea-rabbits: ultimate-science-nerd: positivelyqueerace: dreamsrainandwitchythings: intp-again: mu...

Advice, College, and Fresh: How many Tme FAILED iMes To Secome Sw cCessf e@cEoCHARLTE gce FATLED FAILED 2002fashion n Hots & erey) 2003erchol Online Serth Engine) Spit%Gome Con (xop Hop music Site FAILED 2605-2007 2007-2 YFTLED 007-20os SYG management (Arist Menagement coy) %- Now Travs Porter Street ket cess 2olo-Now Multi atium Record ceocharlie It took me 7 years of failure to become an over night success... I wanted to use this as motivation for everyone who has been trying and has those thoughts of quitting... You have to keep going! Each failure set me up for my next step. Every step of the way hurt... Each time I had to move on... Especially in 2007 when I dropped out of college to become a camera man for soulja boy. I dropped just about everything in my life to chase an opportunity Just 4-5 months later I got fired... Fell flat on my face. That is when I wanted to go into artist management. I signed a girl group and got them a record deal with Interscope records.... thought at that point my life was about to change! About 5 months later they let me go as their manager for "Ciara's" manager back then. I just couldn't get anywhere... Kept falling flat on my face....But I picked myself back up.. Pulled myself out of my depression and met "Travis Porter" this same week 8 years ago. I finally got my first success in business! After years of passing out Cds with my own 2 hands with my business partners... We have gone on to sell millions and millions in music with our company street execs with Travis Porter, 2 Chainz, bankroll fresh, young Dolph and many others.... We've been nominated for Grammys and have had 8 world tours. It simply takes time... Use my story as your motivation... My advice to you is... Make mistakes faster... And get up stronger! Share this with a friend gucci-flipflops: Motivation
Advice, College, and Fresh: How many Tme
 FAILED
 iMes
 To Secome Sw cCessf
 e@cEoCHARLTE
 gce FATLED
 FAILED
 2002fashion n
 Hots & erey)
 2003erchol
 Online Serth Engine)
 Spit%Gome Con
 (xop Hop music Site
 FAILED
 2605-2007
 2007-2 YFTLED
 007-20os SYG management
 (Arist Menagement coy)
 %- Now Travs Porter Street ket
 cess
 2olo-Now
 Multi atium Record

 ceocharlie It took me 7 years of failure to become an
 over night success... I wanted to use this as
 motivation for everyone who has been trying and has
 those thoughts of quitting... You have to keep going!
 Each failure set me up for my next step. Every step of
 the way hurt... Each time I had to move on...
 Especially in 2007 when I dropped out of college to
 become a camera man for soulja boy. I dropped just
 about everything in my life to chase an opportunity
 Just 4-5 months later I got fired... Fell flat on my face.
 That is when I wanted to go into artist management. I
 signed a girl group and got them a record deal with
 Interscope records.... thought at that point my life
 was about to change! About 5 months later they let
 me go as their manager for "Ciara's" manager back
 then. I just couldn't get anywhere... Kept falling flat on
 my face....But I picked myself back up.. Pulled
 myself out of my depression and met "Travis Porter"
 this same week 8 years ago. I finally got my first
 success in business! After years of passing out Cds
 with my own 2 hands with my business partners...
 We have gone on to sell millions and millions in
 music with our company street execs with Travis
 Porter, 2 Chainz, bankroll fresh, young Dolph and
 many others.... We've been nominated for Grammys

 and have had 8 world tours. It simply takes time...
 Use my story as your motivation... My advice to you
 is... Make mistakes faster... And get up stronger!
 Share this with a friend
gucci-flipflops:

Motivation

gucci-flipflops: Motivation