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Messed: what-even-is-thiss: bobcatdump: jaskiegg: mellomaia: aphony-cree: beyoncescock: gahdamnpunk: Honestly!!! This is just psychological trauma in the making THANK YOU I’ve asked parents about this and they always say they are teaching the child responsibility and “respect for other people’s things.” If I point out that the child accidentally broke their own toy they always say “I bought them that toy” or “my sister gave that to them.” The problem is that parents view all possessions as not really belonging to the child. A part of them always seems to think that the adult who provided the money is the real owner If a parent breaks a dish they see it as breaking something that already belonged to them, but if a child breaks it they see it as the child breaking something that belonged to the parents People raising children need to realize that household possessions belong to the entire household. If everyone has to use that plate then it belongs to everyone and anyone can have a forgivable accident with it. It’s okay to deem certain possessions as just yours and ask everyone in the house to respect that, but extend the same respect to your child’s belongings Big mood. I know most of these are talking about little little kids, but here’s a tale from middle school. I had forgotten to charge my phone one night, and this was back when cell phones used to beep loudly when they were low on battery. I kept hearing the noise throughout the afternoon and not recognizing what it was because I’d never heard it before. When I finally did realize what it was, I was in science class and my fellow classmates were making presentations. I reached into my bag to try to turn off the phone, and then the low-battery sound went off, loud enough for the teacher to hear it. She confiscated my phone in front of everyone, and I didn’t get it back until after the weekend because it was a Friday. I was really embarrassed, especially to tell my parents. When I got my phone back that Monday, my teacher said it was important for me to learn this lesson now since in college they wouldn’t tolerate phones going off. Fast forward to when I was in college, any time someone’s phone went off, either the professor would tell them to turn it off, or they would say, “Oh, my bad,” and turn it off themselves, and everyone would move on. I even had a professor who danced around while someone’s phone went off, and it was a welcome moment of levity during the lecture. I say all this to say, one of the worst aspects of being a child/teen was adults assuming my intentions were malicious. God I’ve been reading these posts for a while and each time I am struck with the realization that certainly not all parents were supposed to be a parent “I say all this to say, one of the worst aspects of being a child/teen was adults assuming my intentions were malicious.”YES this The problem is, even if families are forgiving the culture around children still effects the child. I use myself as proof of that. A few times between the ages of 4 and 18 I broke things. I broke my grandma’s favorite Christmas ornament. Her first question was: “Are you hurt?” and when I apologized profusely she said “I’m just glad you weren’t hurt.” I broke a few plates. I broke a couple glasses. Every time my dad’s first response was “Did you get cut?” the second step was cleaning up the broken bits, and the third was a discussion of what led to me breaking it and how I could avoid doing that in the future. Same with spills. Same with stains. My biggest “punishment” from my immediate family was being taught how to clean up the mess I made and being shown in detail how to avoid the same mistake in the future if it was avoidable. There were consequences for my actions, but they were the direct result of those actions and nothing much beyond that. My family tried so hard to teach me how to deal with accidents in a healthy way. They were patient. They treated every slip-up as a learning opportunity. They showed me a lot of love. The other adults still got to me. Teachers still punished and publicly shamed me and other students for our mess-ups. Extended family members outside of my small supportive circle still yelled at me. My friends’ parents still got mad. To the point where whenever I messed up my first instinct was that my dad or grandparents were going to punish me, or yell at me, or hit me, even though they never did. They just didn’t. They always responded with patience and an attitude of “I’m glad you’re safe and I want to help you learn from this.” And I was still afraid of messing up. Mortified. Expecting the worst every time. It’s like… we need to change the culture around this, man. Completely.
Messed: what-even-is-thiss:

bobcatdump:

jaskiegg:

mellomaia:

aphony-cree:

beyoncescock:

gahdamnpunk:

Honestly!!! This is just psychological trauma in the making


THANK YOU

I’ve asked parents about this and they always say they are teaching the child responsibility and “respect for other people’s things.” If I point out that the child accidentally broke their own toy they always say “I bought them that toy” or “my sister gave that to them.”
The problem is that parents view all possessions as not really belonging to the child. A part of them always seems to think that the adult who provided the money is the real owner
If a parent breaks a dish they see it as breaking something that already belonged to them, but if a child breaks it they see it as the child breaking something that belonged to the parents 
People raising children need to realize that household possessions belong to the entire household. If everyone has to use that plate then it belongs to everyone and anyone can have a forgivable accident with it. It’s okay to deem certain possessions as just yours and ask everyone in the house to respect that, but extend the same respect to your child’s belongings

Big mood. I know most of these are talking about little little kids, but here’s a tale from middle school. I had forgotten to charge my phone one night, and this was back when cell phones used to beep loudly when they were low on battery. I kept hearing the noise throughout the afternoon and not recognizing what it was because I’d never heard it before. When I finally did realize what it was, I was in science class and my fellow classmates were making presentations. I reached into my bag to try to turn off the phone, and then the low-battery sound went off, loud enough for the teacher to hear it. She confiscated my phone in front of everyone, and I didn’t get it back until after the weekend because it was a Friday. I was really embarrassed, especially to tell my parents.
When I got my phone back that Monday, my teacher said it was important for me to learn this lesson now since in college they wouldn’t tolerate phones going off. Fast forward to when I was in college, any time someone’s phone went off, either the professor would tell them to turn it off, or they would say, “Oh, my bad,” and turn it off themselves, and everyone would move on. I even had a professor who danced around while someone’s phone went off, and it was a welcome moment of levity during the lecture. 
I say all this to say, one of the worst aspects of being a child/teen was adults assuming my intentions were malicious.



God I’ve been reading these posts for a while and each time I am struck with the realization that certainly not all parents were supposed to be a parent

“I say all this to say, one of the worst aspects of being a child/teen was adults assuming my intentions were malicious.”YES this



The problem is, even if families are forgiving the culture around children still effects the child. I use myself as proof of that. 
A few times between the ages of 4 and 18 I broke things. I broke my grandma’s favorite Christmas ornament. Her first question was: “Are you hurt?” and when I apologized profusely she said “I’m just glad you weren’t hurt.”
I broke a few plates. I broke a couple glasses. Every time my dad’s first response was “Did you get cut?” the second step was cleaning up the broken bits, and the third was a discussion of what led to me breaking it and how I could avoid doing that in the future.
Same with spills. Same with stains. My biggest “punishment” from my immediate family was being taught how to clean up the mess I made and being shown in detail how to avoid the same mistake in the future if it was avoidable. There were consequences for my actions, but they were the direct result of those actions and nothing much beyond that.
My family tried so hard to teach me how to deal with accidents in a healthy way. They were patient. They treated every slip-up as a learning opportunity. They showed me a lot of love. The other adults still got to me. Teachers still punished and publicly shamed me and other students for our mess-ups. Extended family members outside of my small supportive circle still yelled at me. My friends’ parents still got mad.
To the point where whenever I messed up my first instinct was that my dad or grandparents were going to punish me, or yell at me, or hit me, even though they never did. They just didn’t. They always responded with patience and an attitude of “I’m glad you’re safe and I want to help you learn from this.” And I was still afraid of messing up. Mortified. Expecting the worst every time.
It’s like… we need to change the culture around this, man. Completely.

what-even-is-thiss: bobcatdump: jaskiegg: mellomaia: aphony-cree: beyoncescock: gahdamnpunk: Honestly!!! This is just psychologica...

Messed: what-even-is-thiss: bobcatdump: jaskiegg: mellomaia: aphony-cree: beyoncescock: gahdamnpunk: Honestly!!! This is just psychological trauma in the making THANK YOU I’ve asked parents about this and they always say they are teaching the child responsibility and “respect for other people’s things.” If I point out that the child accidentally broke their own toy they always say “I bought them that toy” or “my sister gave that to them.” The problem is that parents view all possessions as not really belonging to the child. A part of them always seems to think that the adult who provided the money is the real owner If a parent breaks a dish they see it as breaking something that already belonged to them, but if a child breaks it they see it as the child breaking something that belonged to the parents People raising children need to realize that household possessions belong to the entire household. If everyone has to use that plate then it belongs to everyone and anyone can have a forgivable accident with it. It’s okay to deem certain possessions as just yours and ask everyone in the house to respect that, but extend the same respect to your child’s belongings Big mood. I know most of these are talking about little little kids, but here’s a tale from middle school. I had forgotten to charge my phone one night, and this was back when cell phones used to beep loudly when they were low on battery. I kept hearing the noise throughout the afternoon and not recognizing what it was because I’d never heard it before. When I finally did realize what it was, I was in science class and my fellow classmates were making presentations. I reached into my bag to try to turn off the phone, and then the low-battery sound went off, loud enough for the teacher to hear it. She confiscated my phone in front of everyone, and I didn’t get it back until after the weekend because it was a Friday. I was really embarrassed, especially to tell my parents. When I got my phone back that Monday, my teacher said it was important for me to learn this lesson now since in college they wouldn’t tolerate phones going off. Fast forward to when I was in college, any time someone’s phone went off, either the professor would tell them to turn it off, or they would say, “Oh, my bad,” and turn it off themselves, and everyone would move on. I even had a professor who danced around while someone’s phone went off, and it was a welcome moment of levity during the lecture. I say all this to say, one of the worst aspects of being a child/teen was adults assuming my intentions were malicious. God I’ve been reading these posts for a while and each time I am struck with the realization that certainly not all parents were supposed to be a parent “I say all this to say, one of the worst aspects of being a child/teen was adults assuming my intentions were malicious.”YES this The problem is, even if families are forgiving the culture around children still effects the child. I use myself as proof of that. A few times between the ages of 4 and 18 I broke things. I broke my grandma’s favorite Christmas ornament. Her first question was: “Are you hurt?” and when I apologized profusely she said “I’m just glad you weren’t hurt.” I broke a few plates. I broke a couple glasses. Every time my dad’s first response was “Did you get cut?” the second step was cleaning up the broken bits, and the third was a discussion of what led to me breaking it and how I could avoid doing that in the future. Same with spills. Same with stains. My biggest “punishment” from my immediate family was being taught how to clean up the mess I made and being shown in detail how to avoid the same mistake in the future if it was avoidable. There were consequences for my actions, but they were the direct result of those actions and nothing much beyond that. My family tried so hard to teach me how to deal with accidents in a healthy way. They were patient. They treated every slip-up as a learning opportunity. They showed me a lot of love. The other adults still got to me. Teachers still punished and publicly shamed me and other students for our mess-ups. Extended family members outside of my small supportive circle still yelled at me. My friends’ parents still got mad. To the point where whenever I messed up my first instinct was that my dad or grandparents were going to punish me, or yell at me, or hit me, even though they never did. They just didn’t. They always responded with patience and an attitude of “I’m glad you’re safe and I want to help you learn from this.” And I was still afraid of messing up. Mortified. Expecting the worst every time. It’s like… we need to change the culture around this, man. Completely.
Messed: what-even-is-thiss:

bobcatdump:

jaskiegg:

mellomaia:

aphony-cree:

beyoncescock:

gahdamnpunk:

Honestly!!! This is just psychological trauma in the making


THANK YOU

I’ve asked parents about this and they always say they are teaching the child responsibility and “respect for other people’s things.” If I point out that the child accidentally broke their own toy they always say “I bought them that toy” or “my sister gave that to them.”
The problem is that parents view all possessions as not really belonging to the child. A part of them always seems to think that the adult who provided the money is the real owner
If a parent breaks a dish they see it as breaking something that already belonged to them, but if a child breaks it they see it as the child breaking something that belonged to the parents 
People raising children need to realize that household possessions belong to the entire household. If everyone has to use that plate then it belongs to everyone and anyone can have a forgivable accident with it. It’s okay to deem certain possessions as just yours and ask everyone in the house to respect that, but extend the same respect to your child’s belongings

Big mood. I know most of these are talking about little little kids, but here’s a tale from middle school. I had forgotten to charge my phone one night, and this was back when cell phones used to beep loudly when they were low on battery. I kept hearing the noise throughout the afternoon and not recognizing what it was because I’d never heard it before. When I finally did realize what it was, I was in science class and my fellow classmates were making presentations. I reached into my bag to try to turn off the phone, and then the low-battery sound went off, loud enough for the teacher to hear it. She confiscated my phone in front of everyone, and I didn’t get it back until after the weekend because it was a Friday. I was really embarrassed, especially to tell my parents.
When I got my phone back that Monday, my teacher said it was important for me to learn this lesson now since in college they wouldn’t tolerate phones going off. Fast forward to when I was in college, any time someone’s phone went off, either the professor would tell them to turn it off, or they would say, “Oh, my bad,” and turn it off themselves, and everyone would move on. I even had a professor who danced around while someone’s phone went off, and it was a welcome moment of levity during the lecture. 
I say all this to say, one of the worst aspects of being a child/teen was adults assuming my intentions were malicious.



God I’ve been reading these posts for a while and each time I am struck with the realization that certainly not all parents were supposed to be a parent

“I say all this to say, one of the worst aspects of being a child/teen was adults assuming my intentions were malicious.”YES this



The problem is, even if families are forgiving the culture around children still effects the child. I use myself as proof of that. 
A few times between the ages of 4 and 18 I broke things. I broke my grandma’s favorite Christmas ornament. Her first question was: “Are you hurt?” and when I apologized profusely she said “I’m just glad you weren’t hurt.”
I broke a few plates. I broke a couple glasses. Every time my dad’s first response was “Did you get cut?” the second step was cleaning up the broken bits, and the third was a discussion of what led to me breaking it and how I could avoid doing that in the future.
Same with spills. Same with stains. My biggest “punishment” from my immediate family was being taught how to clean up the mess I made and being shown in detail how to avoid the same mistake in the future if it was avoidable. There were consequences for my actions, but they were the direct result of those actions and nothing much beyond that.
My family tried so hard to teach me how to deal with accidents in a healthy way. They were patient. They treated every slip-up as a learning opportunity. They showed me a lot of love. The other adults still got to me. Teachers still punished and publicly shamed me and other students for our mess-ups. Extended family members outside of my small supportive circle still yelled at me. My friends’ parents still got mad.
To the point where whenever I messed up my first instinct was that my dad or grandparents were going to punish me, or yell at me, or hit me, even though they never did. They just didn’t. They always responded with patience and an attitude of “I’m glad you’re safe and I want to help you learn from this.” And I was still afraid of messing up. Mortified. Expecting the worst every time.
It’s like… we need to change the culture around this, man. Completely.

what-even-is-thiss: bobcatdump: jaskiegg: mellomaia: aphony-cree: beyoncescock: gahdamnpunk: Honestly!!! This is just psychologica...

Messed: Thats messed up man by CalvinT2114 MORE MEMES
Messed: Thats messed up man by CalvinT2114
MORE MEMES

Thats messed up man by CalvinT2114 MORE MEMES

Messed: Thats messed up man
Messed: Thats messed up man

Thats messed up man

Messed: Now you messed up
Messed: Now you messed up

Now you messed up

Messed: Oh man he messed up!
Messed: Oh man he messed up!

Oh man he messed up!

Messed: Guys I really messed up…I never thought I’d be the one to misgender someone :/
Messed: Guys I really messed up…I never thought I’d be the one to misgender someone :/

Guys I really messed up…I never thought I’d be the one to misgender someone :/

Messed: Quarantine got my concept of time all messed up (via /r/BlackPeopleTwitter)
Messed: Quarantine got my concept of time all messed up (via /r/BlackPeopleTwitter)

Quarantine got my concept of time all messed up (via /r/BlackPeopleTwitter)

Messed: spinel messed up
Messed: spinel messed up

spinel messed up

Messed: Quarantine got my concept of time all messed up by JayZGatsby MORE MEMES
Messed: Quarantine got my concept of time all messed up by JayZGatsby
MORE MEMES

Quarantine got my concept of time all messed up by JayZGatsby MORE MEMES

Messed: Quarantine got my concept of time all messed up
Messed: Quarantine got my concept of time all messed up

Quarantine got my concept of time all messed up

Messed: Quarantine got me messed up
Messed: Quarantine got me messed up

Quarantine got me messed up

Messed: You messed with the wrong dog [OC] by CapnChiknNugget MORE MEMES
Messed: You messed with the wrong dog [OC] by CapnChiknNugget
MORE MEMES

You messed with the wrong dog [OC] by CapnChiknNugget MORE MEMES

Messed: You messed with the wrong dog [OC]
Messed: You messed with the wrong dog [OC]

You messed with the wrong dog [OC]

Messed: I made this meme before I even fixed the problem I messed up in the first place by BringBackTheKaiser MORE MEMES
Messed: I made this meme before I even fixed the problem I messed up in the first place by BringBackTheKaiser
MORE MEMES

I made this meme before I even fixed the problem I messed up in the first place by BringBackTheKaiser MORE MEMES

Messed: I made this meme before I even fixed the problem I messed up in the first place
Messed: I made this meme before I even fixed the problem I messed up in the first place

I made this meme before I even fixed the problem I messed up in the first place

Messed: This is so messed up by KingSlayer1090 MORE MEMES
Messed: This is so messed up by KingSlayer1090
MORE MEMES

This is so messed up by KingSlayer1090 MORE MEMES

Messed: This is so messed up
Messed: This is so messed up

This is so messed up

Messed: I think I mighta messed it up lol
Messed: I think I mighta messed it up lol

I think I mighta messed it up lol

Messed: Minecraft Earth was really messed up here. What the heck am I supposed to read?
Messed: Minecraft Earth was really messed up here. What the heck am I supposed to read?

Minecraft Earth was really messed up here. What the heck am I supposed to read?

Messed: WTH? This is so messed up.
Messed: WTH? This is so messed up.

WTH? This is so messed up.

Messed: The People's Crusade was pretty messed up.
Messed: The People's Crusade was pretty messed up.

The People's Crusade was pretty messed up.

Messed: Soz for the super low quality and the white thing that I messed up since I make it on my stupid iPhone 5
Messed: Soz for the super low quality and the white thing that I messed up since I make it on my stupid iPhone 5

Soz for the super low quality and the white thing that I messed up since I make it on my stupid iPhone 5

Messed: Something messed up
Messed: Something messed up

Something messed up

Messed: This one is pretty messed up. Couldn’t resist
Messed: This one is pretty messed up. Couldn’t resist

This one is pretty messed up. Couldn’t resist

Messed: Big Ouch! The Classic redone! Sorry I messed it up!
Messed: Big Ouch! The Classic redone! Sorry I messed it up!

Big Ouch! The Classic redone! Sorry I messed it up!

Messed: A bit messed up especially since i just plugged it in
Messed: A bit messed up especially since i just plugged it in

A bit messed up especially since i just plugged it in

Messed: Hey guys, this is straight up bullying at this point. He never even had that many views, and you're all sending hate towards him. It's kind of messed up.
Messed: Hey guys, this is straight up bullying at this point. He never even had that many views, and you're all sending hate towards him. It's kind of messed up.

Hey guys, this is straight up bullying at this point. He never even had that many views, and you're all sending hate towards him. It's ki...

Messed: Found a rare full lobby where nobody messed with my cargo. The sale bonuses were amazing
Messed: Found a rare full lobby where nobody messed with my cargo. The sale bonuses were amazing

Found a rare full lobby where nobody messed with my cargo. The sale bonuses were amazing

Messed: I messed around with Claude’s GTA Online parent render with Face App. He looks like a different person.
Messed: I messed around with Claude’s GTA Online parent render with Face App. He looks like a different person.

I messed around with Claude’s GTA Online parent render with Face App. He looks like a different person.

Messed: MFW my partner says "Hey, hey, there's no one 'messed up and diseased' around here"
Messed: MFW my partner says "Hey, hey, there's no one 'messed up and diseased' around here"

MFW my partner says "Hey, hey, there's no one 'messed up and diseased' around here"

Messed: messed up this garlic bread but it’s still garlic bread
Messed: messed up this garlic bread but it’s still garlic bread

messed up this garlic bread but it’s still garlic bread

Messed: My sleep schedule is so messed up
Messed: My sleep schedule is so messed up

My sleep schedule is so messed up

Messed: Social Blade messed up
Messed: Social Blade messed up

Social Blade messed up

Messed: I messed it up on my caffeine craze qq
Messed: I messed it up on my caffeine craze qq

I messed it up on my caffeine craze qq

Messed: I messed up
Messed: I messed up

I messed up

Messed: Her's bigger but not the one that messed up
Messed: Her's bigger but not the one that messed up

Her's bigger but not the one that messed up

Messed: My iron sword is a little messed up
Messed: My iron sword is a little messed up

My iron sword is a little messed up

Messed: When that kid said master he knew he messed up lmao
Messed: When that kid said master he knew he messed up lmao

When that kid said master he knew he messed up lmao

Messed: This is messed up
Messed: This is messed up

This is messed up

Messed: You done messed up pewds
Messed: You done messed up pewds

You done messed up pewds

Messed: I dun messed up...
Messed: I dun messed up...

I dun messed up...

Messed: That is so messed up
Messed: That is so messed up

That is so messed up

Messed: Thanks Google Photo, you messed up the pic of me and my GF...
Messed: Thanks Google Photo, you messed up the pic of me and my GF...

Thanks Google Photo, you messed up the pic of me and my GF...

Messed: quarantine messed up my sleep schedule
Messed: quarantine messed up my sleep schedule

quarantine messed up my sleep schedule

Messed: I messed up a little, read like a manga
Messed: I messed up a little, read like a manga

I messed up a little, read like a manga

Messed: tried to post before but the gif kinda messed up, hope it works this time
Messed: tried to post before but the gif kinda messed up, hope it works this time

tried to post before but the gif kinda messed up, hope it works this time