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Apparently, Ass, and Beer: Anonymous 01/29/15(Thu)00:38:44 No.595257983 be me drunk coming home late at night >building has a front door and then my apartments door is straight down the hall make it to my apartment door, put keys in, go to push door open Popens about an inch before i feel someone on the other side pushing it closed ohshit jpg my roommate fiew to canada this moming t no one supposed to be in there heart is racing Pstart thinking about all the Investigation Discovery murder shows I binge-watched last weekend someone came to steal some shit but now they know I'm here they can't leave any witnesses gonna kill my ass >gotta make a plan >pace back and forth outside talking to myself trying to mutter under my breath but I'm hammered and am having trouble controling the volume of my voice only neighbor on my floor is a deaf old lady, not too worried about her, but what if the robber (or robbers?!) hear me? better use some reverse psychology start making a loud fake 911 call >(why didn't I think about just calling 911 for real in the first place? oh well, too late, this is happening) YES HELLO 911? THIS IS ANON THERE ARE INTRUDERS IN MY APARTMENT" "THE ADDRESS IS" address txt "PL alright that should have them freaking out but wait... now thoy'll probably run out guns blazing! look in pockets, find wallet, keys, lighter, chapstick, and... what the hell is in my coat pocket it's an empty beer can everything becomes very clear to me i can rip the can apart and fashion it into a shank >aim for the jugular alright time for some MacGuyver shit use one of my keys to punch a hole in the can, slart tearing it into a sheet it's realy sharp and my motor skills are really lacking cut the hell out of my right hand feelsbadman.jpg despite bleeding I manage to fold it into something pretty pokey and pretty slicey it's been a couple of minutes, by now they might have realized the cops arent coming any moment they're going to come crashing out >They're probably waiting for the right moment (oh, I'm saying all of this out loud, aren't 1?) shit, I am they're probably listening . AND WATCHING my door has a peephole >fuck fuck fuck crouch down really low >sneak up to the door so I'm under the peephole slide up with my back to it sthe cops really ARENT coming, I'm gonna have to deal with this myself sooner or later might as well be now turn the handle and push the door it pushes back again, oh fuck they're right there >throw all my weight against it, it moves Pnow inside, look up, down, to the side, but no one's there sthey must have run into the apartment brandishing my can-knife-thing I decide to yell something gotta be something tough >something that'll scare them into surrender >first thing out of my mouth is "COME AT ME BRO" >i hear loud guffaws >look in their direction my roommate's girlfriend is sitting on the couch >laughing her ass off Pi calm down a little bit... but how'd she get in? (she doosn't have the key) >"what are you doing here?" sjust came to get some of my stuff Anon.. wow" apparently my roommate left his keys with her i'm about to relax >BUT WAIT >why were you holding the door shut?! something shady is going on EASE HURRY i wasn't. look" "points to the door >from the inside i can see that the little rug in front of the door was bunched up >got stuck under the door when i tried to open it >when the door stops mid-swing its hinges try to re close it >i was fighting with the fucking door itself Palright, im not fearing for my life anymore >my dignity a little, though "didn't you hear me out there?" >she loses it laughing again >bitch was watching through the poophole from the start >gotta try to regain a little bit of dignity. "better call the cops back and tell them I don't need them" she just laughs harder show could she know the call was fake? >wait, that's right, i never actually put my cell phone to my ear Anonymous 01/29/15(Thu)00.39 55 No.595258171 le: bunny-embarrassed png (207 KB, 485x300) alright fuck, nothing i can do now except go wash up my bleeding hand and wrap a bandage around it >walk to the bathroom, wash the blood off of my hand and the shame off of my facc on the way back to my room bitch has one more thing to say S"in case you ever really are facing a home invasion >"probably don't want to go with COME AT ME BRO mfw
Apparently, Ass, and Beer: Anonymous 01/29/15(Thu)00:38:44 No.595257983
 be me
 drunk
 coming home late at night
 >building has a front door and then my apartments door is straight down the hall
 make it to my apartment door, put keys in, go to push door open
 Popens about an inch before i feel someone on the other side pushing it closed
 ohshit jpg
 my roommate fiew to canada this moming
 t no one supposed to be in there
 heart is racing
 Pstart thinking about all the Investigation Discovery murder shows I binge-watched last weekend
 someone came to steal some shit but now they know I'm here
 they can't leave any witnesses
 gonna kill my ass
 >gotta make a plan
 >pace back and forth outside talking to myself
 trying to mutter under my breath but I'm hammered and am having trouble controling the volume of my voice
 only neighbor on my floor is a deaf old lady, not too worried about her, but what if the robber (or robbers?!) hear me?
 better use some reverse psychology
 start making a loud fake 911 call
 >(why didn't I think about just calling 911 for real in the first place? oh well, too late, this is happening)
 YES HELLO 911? THIS IS ANON THERE ARE INTRUDERS IN MY APARTMENT"
 "THE ADDRESS IS" address txt "PL
 alright that should have them freaking out
 but wait... now thoy'll probably run out guns blazing!
 look in pockets, find wallet, keys, lighter, chapstick, and...
 what the hell is in my coat pocket
 it's an empty beer can
 everything becomes very clear to me
 i can rip the can apart and fashion it into a shank
 >aim for the jugular
 alright time for some MacGuyver shit
 use one of my keys to punch a hole in the can, slart tearing it into a sheet
 it's realy sharp and my motor skills are really lacking
 cut the hell out of my right hand
 feelsbadman.jpg
 despite bleeding I manage to fold it into something pretty pokey and pretty slicey
 it's been a couple of minutes, by now they might have realized the cops arent coming
 any moment they're going to come crashing out
 >They're probably waiting for the right moment
 (oh, I'm saying all of this out loud, aren't 1?)
 shit, I am
 they're probably listening
 . AND WATCHING
 my door has a peephole
 >fuck fuck fuck
 crouch down really low
 >sneak up to the door so I'm under the peephole
 slide up with my back to it
 sthe cops really ARENT coming, I'm gonna have to deal with this myself sooner or later
 might as well be now
 turn the handle and push the door
 it pushes back again, oh fuck they're right there
 >throw all my weight against it, it moves
 Pnow inside, look up, down, to the side, but no one's there
 sthey must have run into the apartment
 brandishing my can-knife-thing I decide to yell something
 gotta be something tough
 >something that'll scare them into surrender
 >first thing out of my mouth is "COME AT ME BRO"
 >i hear loud guffaws
 >look in their direction
 my roommate's girlfriend is sitting on the couch
 >laughing her ass off
 Pi calm down a little bit... but how'd she get in? (she doosn't have the key)
 >"what are you doing here?"
 sjust came to get some of my stuff Anon.. wow"
 apparently my roommate left his keys with her
 i'm about to relax
 >BUT WAIT
 >why were you holding the door shut?!
 something shady is going on
 EASE HURRY
 i wasn't. look" "points to the door
 >from the inside i can see that the little rug in front of the door was bunched up
 >got stuck under the door when i tried to open it
 >when the door stops mid-swing its hinges try to re close it
 >i was fighting with the fucking door itself
 Palright, im not fearing for my life anymore
 >my dignity a little, though "didn't you hear me out there?"
 >she loses it laughing again
 >bitch was watching through the poophole from the start
 >gotta try to regain a little bit of dignity. "better call the cops back and tell them I don't need them"
 she just laughs harder
 show could she know the call was fake?
 >wait, that's right, i never actually put my cell phone to my ear
 Anonymous 01/29/15(Thu)00.39 55 No.595258171
 le: bunny-embarrassed png (207 KB, 485x300)
 alright fuck, nothing i can do now except go wash up my bleeding hand and
 wrap a bandage around it
 >walk to the bathroom, wash the blood off of my hand and the shame off of my
 facc
 on the way back to my room bitch has one more thing to say
 S"in case you ever really are facing a home invasion
 >"probably don't want to go with COME AT ME BRO
 mfw
Ass, Cum, and Dad: Anonymous (ID: hTdVbXNU) 1 hour ago No. 57005352 v >>57007234 # 14368364044 15.png (424 KB. 515.903) K google iadb >257004329 # Hey, i won't turn down a piece of human. the downside of horses is no titties >:57004238 # the best was probably the first time i fucked a draft horse at the job >had to use two boxes because manlet vs fuckhuge mare >ultra puffy silky black horse pussy winking at me >work in a finger >almost get up to my elbow and then start working her for some time take hand out and insert dick >hottest tightest wettest pussy I've ever experienced had stacked boxes next to a wall to be sure i didn't fall >then it goes wrong >she moves back >almost pinned against the wall now >only got like 5 inches of wriggle room >decide fuck it this is fine >start pistoning into her with all my might >leani i still get an erection whenever i smell hay fingering her ass at the same time horse anuses are awesome tbqh senpai >eventually cum inside her >carefully shimmy to the side to get out then two, then three, then four, then entire fist ng in over her burying my head in her soft fur mission success >grab cloth and clean up the cum leaking from her >get another erection doing so rub one out while smelling her fur andf >saddle up and take her for a ride >stop at a nice field my dad owns and let her graze there for a while while lying in the high grass reading a book the summer of 09 was pretty solid thb senpai >mfw its been 6 years since i started my degeneracy fingering her pussy
Ass, Cum, and Dad: Anonymous (ID: hTdVbXNU) 1 hour ago No. 57005352 v >>57007234 #
 14368364044 15.png (424 KB. 515.903) K google iadb
 >257004329 #
 Hey, i won't turn down a piece of human.
 the downside of horses is no titties
 >:57004238 #
 the best was probably the first time i fucked a draft horse at the job
 >had to use two boxes because manlet vs fuckhuge mare
 >ultra puffy silky black horse pussy winking at me
 >work in a finger
 >almost get up to my elbow and then start working her for some time
 take hand out and insert dick
 >hottest tightest wettest pussy I've ever experienced
 had stacked boxes next to a wall to be sure i didn't fall
 >then it goes wrong
 >she moves back
 >almost pinned against the wall now
 >only got like 5 inches of wriggle room
 >decide fuck it this is fine
 >start pistoning into her with all my might
 >leani
 i still get an erection whenever i smell hay
 fingering her ass at the same time
 horse anuses are awesome tbqh senpai
 >eventually cum inside her
 >carefully shimmy to the side to get out
 then two, then three, then four, then entire fist
 ng in over her burying my head in her soft fur
 mission success
 >grab cloth and clean up the cum leaking from her
 >get another erection doing so
 rub one out while smelling her fur andf
 >saddle up and take her for a ride
 >stop at a nice field my dad owns and let her graze there for a while while lying in the high grass reading a book
 the summer of 09 was pretty solid thb senpai
 >mfw its been 6 years since i started my degeneracy
 fingering her pussy
4chan, Alive, and America: File: FChOuVx.jpg (145 KB, 1092x1037) Fallout 76 Gameplay Anonymous 06/14/18(Thu)09:15:17 No.420370896 Wake up after night of celebration >Something is wrong >mfw no chatter in the halls mfw no smell of salisbury steak sizzling mfw the vault forgot me after preparing for this exact moment for 25 years >Areyouserious.holotape >See a mister handy cleaning Try to ask it what happened >I cannot speak >Just stare and look confused with exaggerated expressions > Tells me that my father Sean took my son Jamie into the wasteland otagain.pipboy3000 Go to foyer with open vault door >Lens flare blinds me Begin trudging through wasteland Trip over a piece of metal in the ground >Suit of X-01 power armour >fuckyes.oilrig >Put on power armour despite absolutely no training >Feelingcomfy.waterchip >Move to the nearest municipality Rummage through some old medical supplies >Find something called jet Never heard of because it wasn't invented by Myron yet Rummage through an old nuka-cola vending machine Find something called nuka-cola quantum Never heard of because it was never released in West Virginia >butitlookscool.retcons >Suddenly a hideous figure approaches me Burned skin, no hair, scorched clothes >Tells me not to shoot The name "Harold" hovers above his rotting scalp Tells me he has some codes for a nuclear weapon that I must launch > Tells me that the nuke will bring even greater monstrosities to my former home > Tells me that it will progress this feeble story ardC nukesarecool.launchcodes Stand there with a big thumbs-up and smiling face 기 launch the nukes Turn my home into an absolute wasteland >New monsters spring forth It's a fucking jackson's chameleon No time to ponder how strange that is since they only live in California and Florida >ohfuckimdead.keyring Anonymous 06/14/18(Thu)09:16:25 No.420371001 File: gsgsaffe, jpg (22 KB, 403x392) The beast bursts into a pile of ash figure similar in appearance to Harold approaches me My father's name, "Sean," is above his hat >thankatom.pamphlet Son, its me-but I am a ghoul now," says a gravely voice >At least he is alive but, what about Jamie I stand there smiling but shrug my shoulders in confusion Oh, Jamie is a ghoul as well-but looks pretty normal," he replies >My father tells me that he founded a new fraternity to restore society >The New California Brotherhood of Steelwealth Men of West Virginia Tells me that by nuking the area I proved worthy to become the new Elder-General >l acce >goodgig pimpboy3billion Suddenly, the sound of aluminum crinkling and exasperated breathing fills the air >Not even my X0-1 can block the sound >It is omnipresent Two soldiers in power armour approach me >The first is in a lime green suit advertising vim >The name xXxDankDank2 The second is in bright pink with comical flames The name The Boner_Wanderer04 hovers above the other "grrrgh* "LOOK AT THIS FUCKING NOOB," one grumbles >The voice booms through the air 005xxx floats above his lime green helmet "LOL, HE IS STILL ON THE MAIN QUEST," another voice cackles The voices are omnipresent >They ask if I want to duel them >aretheyserious.emotewheel Put on a big frowny face and a thumbs down >They get the hint and march off I walk towards my father, and we gaze on at the desolation >mfw Sean and Jamie are safe >mfw I reclaimed America >mfw I destroyed my home >mfw I created an inhospitable biome mfw I saved the world whataday galaxynewsradio And that is how I saved the Appalachian Wasteland
4chan, Alive, and America: File: FChOuVx.jpg (145 KB, 1092x1037)
 Fallout 76 Gameplay Anonymous 06/14/18(Thu)09:15:17 No.420370896
 Wake up after night of celebration
 >Something is wrong
 >mfw no chatter in the halls
 mfw no smell of salisbury steak sizzling
 mfw the vault forgot me after preparing for this exact moment for 25 years
 >Areyouserious.holotape
 >See a mister handy cleaning
 Try to ask it what happened
 >I cannot speak
 >Just stare and look confused with exaggerated expressions
 > Tells me that my father Sean took my son Jamie into the wasteland
 otagain.pipboy3000
 Go to foyer with open vault door
 >Lens flare blinds me
 Begin trudging through wasteland
 Trip over a piece of metal in the ground
 >Suit of X-01 power armour
 >fuckyes.oilrig
 >Put on power armour despite absolutely no training
 >Feelingcomfy.waterchip
 >Move to the nearest municipality
 Rummage through some old medical supplies
 >Find something called jet
 Never heard of because it wasn't invented by Myron yet
 Rummage through an old nuka-cola vending machine
 Find something called nuka-cola quantum
 Never heard of because it was never released in West Virginia
 >butitlookscool.retcons
 >Suddenly a hideous figure approaches me
 Burned skin, no hair, scorched clothes
 >Tells me not to shoot
 The name "Harold" hovers above his rotting scalp
 Tells me he has some codes for a nuclear weapon that I must launch
 > Tells me that the nuke will bring even greater monstrosities to my former home
 > Tells me that it will progress this feeble story ardC
 nukesarecool.launchcodes
 Stand there with a big thumbs-up and smiling face
 기 launch the nukes
 Turn my home into an absolute wasteland
 >New monsters spring forth
 It's a fucking jackson's chameleon
 No time to ponder how strange that is since they only live in California and Florida
 >ohfuckimdead.keyring
 Anonymous 06/14/18(Thu)09:16:25 No.420371001
 File: gsgsaffe, jpg (22 KB, 403x392)
 The beast bursts into a pile of ash
 figure similar in appearance to Harold approaches me
 My father's name, "Sean," is above his hat
 >thankatom.pamphlet
 Son, its me-but I am a ghoul now," says a gravely voice
 >At least he is alive but, what about Jamie
 I stand there smiling but shrug my shoulders in confusion
 Oh, Jamie is a ghoul as well-but looks pretty normal," he
 replies
 >My father tells me that he founded a new fraternity to restore society
 >The New California Brotherhood of Steelwealth Men of West Virginia
 Tells me that by nuking the area I proved worthy to become the new Elder-General
 >l acce
 >goodgig pimpboy3billion
 Suddenly, the sound of aluminum crinkling and exasperated breathing fills the air
 >Not even my X0-1 can block the sound
 >It is omnipresent
 Two soldiers in power armour approach me
 >The first is in a lime green suit advertising vim
 >The name xXxDankDank2
 The second is in bright pink with comical flames
 The name The Boner_Wanderer04 hovers above the other
 "grrrgh* "LOOK AT THIS FUCKING NOOB," one grumbles
 >The voice booms through the air
 005xxx floats above his lime green helmet
 "LOL, HE IS STILL ON THE MAIN QUEST," another voice cackles
 The voices are omnipresent
 >They ask if I want to duel them
 >aretheyserious.emotewheel
 Put on a big frowny face and a thumbs down
 >They get the hint and march off
 I walk towards my father, and we gaze on at the desolation
 >mfw Sean and Jamie are safe
 >mfw I reclaimed America
 >mfw I destroyed my home
 >mfw I created an inhospitable biome
 mfw I saved the world
 whataday galaxynewsradio
 And that is how I saved the Appalachian Wasteland
Alive, America, and Ash: File: FChOuVx.jpg (145 KB, 1092x1037) Fallout 76 Gameplay Anonymous 06/14/18(Thu)09:15:17 No.420370896 Wake up after night of celebration >Something is wrong >mfw no chatter in the halls mfw no smell of salisbury steak sizzling mfw the vault forgot me after preparing for this exact moment for 25 years >Areyouserious.holotape >See a mister handy cleaning Try to ask it what happened >I cannot speak >Just stare and look confused with exaggerated expressions > Tells me that my father Sean took my son Jamie into the wasteland otagain.pipboy3000 Go to foyer with open vault door >Lens flare blinds me Begin trudging through wasteland Trip over a piece of metal in the ground >Suit of X-01 power armour >fuckyes.oilrig >Put on power armour despite absolutely no training >Feelingcomfy.waterchip >Move to the nearest municipality Rummage through some old medical supplies >Find something called jet Never heard of because it wasn't invented by Myron yet Rummage through an old nuka-cola vending machine Find something called nuka-cola quantum Never heard of because it was never released in West Virginia >butitlookscool.retcons >Suddenly a hideous figure approaches me Burned skin, no hair, scorched clothes >Tells me not to shoot The name "Harold" hovers above his rotting scalp Tells me he has some codes for a nuclear weapon that I must launch > Tells me that the nuke will bring even greater monstrosities to my former home > Tells me that it will progress this feeble story ardC nukesarecool.launchcodes Stand there with a big thumbs-up and smiling face 기 launch the nukes Turn my home into an absolute wasteland >New monsters spring forth It's a fucking jackson's chameleon No time to ponder how strange that is since they only live in California and Florida >ohfuckimdead.keyring Anonymous 06/14/18(Thu)09:16:25 No.420371001 File: gsgsaffe, jpg (22 KB, 403x392) The beast bursts into a pile of ash figure similar in appearance to Harold approaches me My father's name, "Sean," is above his hat >thankatom.pamphlet Son, its me-but I am a ghoul now," says a gravely voice >At least he is alive but, what about Jamie I stand there smiling but shrug my shoulders in confusion Oh, Jamie is a ghoul as well-but looks pretty normal," he replies >My father tells me that he founded a new fraternity to restore society >The New California Brotherhood of Steelwealth Men of West Virginia Tells me that by nuking the area I proved worthy to become the new Elder-General >l acce >goodgig pimpboy3billion Suddenly, the sound of aluminum crinkling and exasperated breathing fills the air >Not even my X0-1 can block the sound >It is omnipresent Two soldiers in power armour approach me >The first is in a lime green suit advertising vim >The name xXxDankDank2 The second is in bright pink with comical flames The name The Boner_Wanderer04 hovers above the other "grrrgh* "LOOK AT THIS FUCKING NOOB," one grumbles >The voice booms through the air 005xxx floats above his lime green helmet "LOL, HE IS STILL ON THE MAIN QUEST," another voice cackles The voices are omnipresent >They ask if I want to duel them >aretheyserious.emotewheel Put on a big frowny face and a thumbs down >They get the hint and march off I walk towards my father, and we gaze on at the desolation >mfw Sean and Jamie are safe >mfw I reclaimed America >mfw I destroyed my home >mfw I created an inhospitable biome mfw I saved the world whataday galaxynewsradio And that is how I saved the Appalachian Wasteland
Alive, America, and Ash: File: FChOuVx.jpg (145 KB, 1092x1037)
 Fallout 76 Gameplay Anonymous 06/14/18(Thu)09:15:17 No.420370896
 Wake up after night of celebration
 >Something is wrong
 >mfw no chatter in the halls
 mfw no smell of salisbury steak sizzling
 mfw the vault forgot me after preparing for this exact moment for 25 years
 >Areyouserious.holotape
 >See a mister handy cleaning
 Try to ask it what happened
 >I cannot speak
 >Just stare and look confused with exaggerated expressions
 > Tells me that my father Sean took my son Jamie into the wasteland
 otagain.pipboy3000
 Go to foyer with open vault door
 >Lens flare blinds me
 Begin trudging through wasteland
 Trip over a piece of metal in the ground
 >Suit of X-01 power armour
 >fuckyes.oilrig
 >Put on power armour despite absolutely no training
 >Feelingcomfy.waterchip
 >Move to the nearest municipality
 Rummage through some old medical supplies
 >Find something called jet
 Never heard of because it wasn't invented by Myron yet
 Rummage through an old nuka-cola vending machine
 Find something called nuka-cola quantum
 Never heard of because it was never released in West Virginia
 >butitlookscool.retcons
 >Suddenly a hideous figure approaches me
 Burned skin, no hair, scorched clothes
 >Tells me not to shoot
 The name "Harold" hovers above his rotting scalp
 Tells me he has some codes for a nuclear weapon that I must launch
 > Tells me that the nuke will bring even greater monstrosities to my former home
 > Tells me that it will progress this feeble story ardC
 nukesarecool.launchcodes
 Stand there with a big thumbs-up and smiling face
 기 launch the nukes
 Turn my home into an absolute wasteland
 >New monsters spring forth
 It's a fucking jackson's chameleon
 No time to ponder how strange that is since they only live in California and Florida
 >ohfuckimdead.keyring
 Anonymous 06/14/18(Thu)09:16:25 No.420371001
 File: gsgsaffe, jpg (22 KB, 403x392)
 The beast bursts into a pile of ash
 figure similar in appearance to Harold approaches me
 My father's name, "Sean," is above his hat
 >thankatom.pamphlet
 Son, its me-but I am a ghoul now," says a gravely voice
 >At least he is alive but, what about Jamie
 I stand there smiling but shrug my shoulders in confusion
 Oh, Jamie is a ghoul as well-but looks pretty normal," he
 replies
 >My father tells me that he founded a new fraternity to restore society
 >The New California Brotherhood of Steelwealth Men of West Virginia
 Tells me that by nuking the area I proved worthy to become the new Elder-General
 >l acce
 >goodgig pimpboy3billion
 Suddenly, the sound of aluminum crinkling and exasperated breathing fills the air
 >Not even my X0-1 can block the sound
 >It is omnipresent
 Two soldiers in power armour approach me
 >The first is in a lime green suit advertising vim
 >The name xXxDankDank2
 The second is in bright pink with comical flames
 The name The Boner_Wanderer04 hovers above the other
 "grrrgh* "LOOK AT THIS FUCKING NOOB," one grumbles
 >The voice booms through the air
 005xxx floats above his lime green helmet
 "LOL, HE IS STILL ON THE MAIN QUEST," another voice cackles
 The voices are omnipresent
 >They ask if I want to duel them
 >aretheyserious.emotewheel
 Put on a big frowny face and a thumbs down
 >They get the hint and march off
 I walk towards my father, and we gaze on at the desolation
 >mfw Sean and Jamie are safe
 >mfw I reclaimed America
 >mfw I destroyed my home
 >mfw I created an inhospitable biome
 mfw I saved the world
 whataday galaxynewsradio
 And that is how I saved the Appalachian Wasteland