🔥 | Latest

millenial: Shells&Emotions @anna_bayla My favorite bible story is when instead of telling women to dress modestly, Jesus tells his dudes to avoid lust by plucking their eyes out 5/13/16, 1:44 AM 986 RETWEETS 1,759 LIKES eeyore9990: valeria2067: theupbeat-hart: valtharr: aviculor: jumpingjacktrash: imo he was being super salty about that tendency guys have to blame their anatomy for their bad choices it’s like “oh i don’t want to be a creepo but my dick has a mind of its own” “well here’s a scissors fix your life” or maybe, you know, have some damn respect, and don’t pretend you don’t have a choice of whether to be nasty i think people have a tendency to take jesus literally when he was actually throwing shade, or to take things in this really smarmy martyrish way when they’re actually pretty snippy i mean “turn the other cheek” sounds like being a doormat until you picture how it would play out: someone smacks you, and you turn and go “do it again, go on, take a swing buddy, does that make you feel better, do you feel like a winner now?” cuz you know what 90% of the time they will get curled up shame toes and shuffle off tl;dr: no jesus did not actually want you to take a spoon to your eyeballs for babe watching, he wanted you to take responsibility for how you treat people All of the actions Jesus told his followers to perform are actually passive-aggressive actions meant to oppose and resist Jerusalem’s Roman colonizers. Like, turning the other cheek is actually a matter of forcing the Roman to either break proper slapping etiquette or to hit you properly- thereby treating you as an equal instead of someone he’s subjugating. If a debtor is taking all your possessions in court, you include the shirt off your back so his greed is causing you to commit public nudity. And when a soldier forces you to carry his equipment (as per the law of the time), you go the extra mile with him- literally carrying his bag beyond the distance that the law stipulates and therefore making the action illegal. Context matters. Jesus was a radical, rebellious, snarky twentysomething. Always remember that. A Jesus post I’m here for. Canon Jesus is always 100% better than current fanon Jesus And I mean think about it. Jesus was a millenial. Two thousand years ago, sure, but he was a millenial. Never let bullshit “Christians” tell you otherwise.
millenial: Shells&Emotions
 @anna_bayla
 My favorite bible story is when instead
 of telling women to dress modestly,
 Jesus tells his dudes to avoid lust by
 plucking their eyes out
 5/13/16, 1:44 AM
 986 RETWEETS 1,759 LIKES
eeyore9990:
valeria2067:

theupbeat-hart:

valtharr:

aviculor:

jumpingjacktrash:

imo he was being super salty about that tendency guys have to blame their anatomy for their bad choices
it’s like “oh i don’t want to be a creepo but my dick has a mind of its own” “well here’s a scissors fix your life”
or maybe, you know, have some damn respect, and don’t pretend you don’t have a choice of whether to be nasty
i think people have a tendency to take jesus literally when he was actually throwing shade, or to take things in this really smarmy martyrish way when they’re actually pretty snippy
i mean “turn the other cheek” sounds like being a doormat until you picture how it would play out: someone smacks you, and you turn and go “do it again, go on, take a swing buddy, does that make you feel better, do you feel like a winner now?” cuz you know what 90% of the time they will get curled up shame toes and shuffle off
tl;dr: no jesus did not actually want you to take a spoon to your eyeballs for babe watching, he wanted you to take responsibility for how you treat people

All of the actions Jesus told his followers to perform are actually passive-aggressive actions meant to oppose and resist Jerusalem’s Roman colonizers. Like,

turning the other cheek is actually a matter of forcing the Roman to either break proper slapping etiquette or to hit you properly- thereby treating you as an equal instead of someone he’s subjugating. If a debtor is taking all your possessions in court, you include the shirt off your back so his greed is causing you to commit public nudity. And when a soldier forces you to carry his equipment (as per the law of the time), you go the extra mile with him- literally carrying his bag beyond the distance that the law stipulates and therefore making the action illegal.
Context matters.

Jesus was a radical, rebellious, snarky twentysomething. Always remember that.


A Jesus post I’m here for.


Canon Jesus is always 100% better than current fanon Jesus


And I mean think about it. Jesus was a millenial.  Two thousand years ago, sure, but he was a millenial. Never let bullshit “Christians” tell you otherwise.

eeyore9990: valeria2067: theupbeat-hart: valtharr: aviculor: jumpingjacktrash: imo he was being super salty about that tendency guys...

millenial: TIME @TIME TIME FollowV Millionaire to millennials: Stop buying avocado toast if you want to buy a home Millionaire to Millennials: Stop Buying Avocado Toast If You Want to Buy a Home Avocado prices have soared in recent years time.conm "When I was truying to buy my first home I wasn't buying smashed avocado for [AU]$19 and four coffees at [AU]$4 each." Australian millionaire Tim Gurner Callum @rasta_dad Follow At the shops ldiot millenial: "duhhh can I have a million dollars of avocado Me (smiling wisely): "One house please". 9. Murtaza Hussain Follow MazMHussain Monthly expenses Transportation: $120 Food: $500 Clothing $200 Avocado toast: $35,000 Someone good at the economy please help me budget this JuanPa Ф @jpbrammer Follow Millennial dragon, guarding its treasure hoard of avocado toast and rideshare apps, but no diamonds to speak of werewolfhusband: stachionalgeographic: micdotcom: Millionaire suggests millennials could afford homes if they stopped buying avocado toast Trying to find the extra cabbage to buy a home and aren’t sure where you’ll get it? One millionaire claims the answer lies in your avocado toast. Australian Tim Gurner recently suggested that if young first-time homebuyers curbed their avocado toast addiction they could save enough money to buy a home, as Time reports. Even if you ate avocado toast every single day, using the median U.S. home value price of $196,500 via Zillow, it would still take about 13 years  to save enough for a mere downpayment. As Mic has pointed out before, shaming millennials about food or drink purchases is rarely helpful. Read more (5/16/17) I AM GUFFAWING I’M THE CAUSE OF YOUR DEBT! 
millenial: TIME
 @TIME
 TIME
 FollowV
 Millionaire to millennials: Stop buying avocado
 toast if you want to buy a home
 Millionaire to Millennials: Stop Buying Avocado Toast If You Want to Buy a Home
 Avocado prices have soared in recent years
 time.conm

 "When I was truying to buy my first home
 I wasn't buying smashed avocado for
 [AU]$19 and four coffees at [AU]$4 each."
 Australian millionaire Tim Gurner

 Callum
 @rasta_dad
 Follow
 At the shops
 ldiot millenial: "duhhh can I have a million
 dollars of avocado
 Me (smiling wisely): "One house please".

 9.
 Murtaza Hussain
 Follow
 MazMHussain
 Monthly expenses
 Transportation: $120
 Food: $500
 Clothing $200
 Avocado toast: $35,000
 Someone good at the economy please help
 me budget this

 JuanPa Ф
 @jpbrammer
 Follow
 Millennial dragon, guarding its treasure hoard
 of avocado toast and rideshare apps, but no
 diamonds to speak of
werewolfhusband:

stachionalgeographic:
micdotcom:


Millionaire suggests millennials could afford homes if they stopped buying avocado toast
Trying to find the extra cabbage to buy a home and aren’t sure where you’ll get it? One millionaire claims the answer lies in your avocado toast.
Australian Tim Gurner recently suggested that if young first-time homebuyers curbed their avocado toast addiction they could save enough money to buy a home, as Time reports.
Even if you ate avocado toast every single day, using the median U.S. home value price of $196,500 via Zillow, it would still take about 13 years  to save enough for a mere downpayment.
As Mic has pointed out before, shaming millennials about food or drink purchases is rarely helpful. Read more (5/16/17)


I AM GUFFAWING

I’M THE CAUSE OF YOUR DEBT! 

werewolfhusband: stachionalgeographic: micdotcom: Millionaire suggests millennials could afford homes if they stopped buying avocado t...