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    Complex, Drugs, and Gif: There are dealbreakers, too. Anyone who regularly Netflix-binges
 engages in social activism, or wears mascara more than twice a week is
 going to have to look elsewhere. "This may not be the right place," the
 Startup Castle says, if you
 - Watch more than 4 hours of TV/movie/game
 entertainment per week
 - Have more than 1 tattoo
 - Have ever attended more than 1 protest
 Make more than three posts a week to social
 media
 Listen to a songs with explicit lyrics more than an
 once a day
 Wear make-up more than twice a weelk
 - Own any clothing, shoes, watches, or handbags
 costing over $500
 - Have bills that get paid by somebody else
 Drive a vehicle that was given to you by your
 parents
 - Get regular spending money or gifts from your
 parents
 - Have more than one internet app date per week
 - Have a complex diet that requires lots of
 refrigerator space
 - Drink alcohol more than 3 drinks per week
 - Use marijuana more than twice a year
 - Have been prescribed anything by a psychiatrist
 more than once
 - Use any other drug more than twice in your entire
ajani-on-the-spot:
gehayi:

berlynn-wohl:

hapabap:

nazerine:


plasmalogical:


paxamericana:

Silicon Valleyā€™s ā€˜Startup Castleā€™ is looking for roommates, and the requirements are completely bonkers

good thing i listen to exactly one song with explicit lyrics every day


Iā€™ve been saying this for a while but Startup Bro is the new and terrifying lovechild of the brogrammer and the business major and he is somehow even more self-centered and bigoted than either of them


No, no, guys, look closely.
This house is looking for extremely physically fit young men (No drugs, no makeup, no special diet, exercise 15 hrs a week) who are passive and docile (no protests, no music lyrics with swears) who, most of all, will not be missed if they disappear (very little social media presence, not rich enough to own expensive luxury items, no need to constantly be in contact with their parents over bills/gifts, few identifying markings like tattoos)
This is obviously an organ harvesting operation.


Actually it turned out that the guy who was running it wanted to create a quasi-paramilitary organization.
There were so many horror stories about the place in the news that the landlord evicted everyone.
(Gotta say, though, that I like the organ harvesting scheme better.)

ā€œIt would have been better to have found out this was an organ harvesting schemeā€ is not a sentiment I expected to see today, and yet.

    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                Complex, Drugs, and Gif: There are dealbreakers, too. Anyone who regularly Netflix-binges
 engages in social activism, or wears mascara more than twice a week is
 going to have to look elsewhere. "This may not be the right place," the
 Startup Castle says, if you
 - Watch more than 4 hours of TV/movie/game
 entertainment per week
 - Have more than 1 tattoo
 - Have ever attended more than 1 protest
 Make more than three posts a week to social
 media
 Listen to a songs with explicit lyrics more than an
 once a day
 Wear make-up more than twice a weelk
 - Own any clothing, shoes, watches, or handbags
 costing over $500
 - Have bills that get paid by somebody else
 Drive a vehicle that was given to you by your
 parents
 - Get regular spending money or gifts from your
 parents
 - Have more than one internet app date per week
 - Have a complex diet that requires lots of
 refrigerator space
 - Drink alcohol more than 3 drinks per week
 - Use marijuana more than twice a year
 - Have been prescribed anything by a psychiatrist
 more than once
 - Use any other drug more than twice in your entire
ajani-on-the-spot:
gehayi:

berlynn-wohl:

hapabap:

nazerine:


plasmalogical:


paxamericana:

Silicon Valleyā€™s ā€˜Startup Castleā€™ is looking for roommates, and the requirements are completely bonkers

good thing i listen to exactly one song with explicit lyrics every day


Iā€™ve been saying this for a while but Startup Bro is the new and terrifying lovechild of the brogrammer and the business major and he is somehow even more self-centered and bigoted than either of them


No, no, guys, look closely.
This house is looking for extremely physically fit young men (No drugs, no makeup, no special diet, exercise 15 hrs a week) who are passive and docile (no protests, no music lyrics with swears) who, most of all, will not be missed if they disappear (very little social media presence, not rich enough to own expensive luxury items, no need to constantly be in contact with their parents over bills/gifts, few identifying markings like tattoos)
This is obviously an organ harvesting operation.


Actually it turned out that the guy who was running it wanted to create a quasi-paramilitary organization.
There were so many horror stories about the place in the news that the landlord evicted everyone.
(Gotta say, though, that I like the organ harvesting scheme better.)

ā€œIt would have been better to have found out this was an organ harvesting schemeā€ is not a sentiment I expected to see today, and yet.

                
            

            
            
ajani-on-the-spot:
gehayi:

berlynn-wohl:

hapabap:

nazerine:


plasmalogical:


paxamericana:

Silicon Valleyā€™s ā€˜Startup Castleā€™ is lookin...

            
            
        

    



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            




    Jail, Target, and Tumblr: saladsaladnovski:
snoopingasusualisee:

garfield is a serval and jon should be in jail for illegally owning an exotic animal

jon should be in jail for more than just that

    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                Jail, Target, and Tumblr: saladsaladnovski:
snoopingasusualisee:

garfield is a serval and jon should be in jail for illegally owning an exotic animal

jon should be in jail for more than just that

                
            

            
            
saladsaladnovski:
snoopingasusualisee:

garfield is a serval and jon should be in jail for illegally owning an exotic animal

jon should be ...

            
            
        

    



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            




    Apparently, Bitch, and Dude: Hacker Scripts
 Based on a true story.
 xoox: OK, so, our build engineer has left for another company. The dude was literally living inside the terminal. You know
 that type of a guy who loves Vim, creates diagrams in Dot and writes wiki-posts in Markdown... I fsomething- anything
 requires more than 90 seconds of his time, he writes a script to automate that.
 xxoc: So we're sitting here, looking through his, uhm, "legacy
 xxx: You're gonna love this
 ooc: smack-my-bitch-up.sh -sends a text message "late at work" to his wife (apparently). Automatically picks reasons
 from an array of strings, randomly. Runs inside a cron-job. The job fires if there are active SSH-sessions on the server
 after 9pm with his login
 xxox: kumar-asshole.sh - scans the inbox for emails from "Kumar" (a DBA at our clients). Looks for keywords like "help"
 trouble", "sorry" etc. If keywords are found - the script SSHes into the clients server and rolls back the staging database
 to the latest backup. Then sends a reply "no worries mate, be careful next time"
 xxx: hangover.sh - another cron-job that is set to specific dates. Sends automated emails like "not feeling well/gonna
 work from home" etc. Adds a random "reason" from another predefined array of strings. Fires if there are no interactive
 sessions on the server at 8:45am
 xoox: (and the oscar goes to) fucking-coffee. sh this one waits exatly 17 seconds(), then opens a telnet session to
 our coffee-machine (we had no frikin idea the coffee machine is on the network, runs linux and has a TCP socket up and
 running) and sends something like sys brew.Turns out this thing starts brewing a mid-sized half-caf latte and waits
 another 24 () seconds before pouring it into a cup. The timing is exactly how long it takes to walk to the machine from
 the dudes desk.
 xoxx: holy sh"t I'm keeping those
I found this on an old Git account
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                Apparently, Bitch, and Dude: Hacker Scripts
 Based on a true story.
 xoox: OK, so, our build engineer has left for another company. The dude was literally living inside the terminal. You know
 that type of a guy who loves Vim, creates diagrams in Dot and writes wiki-posts in Markdown... I fsomething- anything
 requires more than 90 seconds of his time, he writes a script to automate that.
 xxoc: So we're sitting here, looking through his, uhm, "legacy
 xxx: You're gonna love this
 ooc: smack-my-bitch-up.sh -sends a text message "late at work" to his wife (apparently). Automatically picks reasons
 from an array of strings, randomly. Runs inside a cron-job. The job fires if there are active SSH-sessions on the server
 after 9pm with his login
 xxox: kumar-asshole.sh - scans the inbox for emails from "Kumar" (a DBA at our clients). Looks for keywords like "help"
 trouble", "sorry" etc. If keywords are found - the script SSHes into the clients server and rolls back the staging database
 to the latest backup. Then sends a reply "no worries mate, be careful next time"
 xxx: hangover.sh - another cron-job that is set to specific dates. Sends automated emails like "not feeling well/gonna
 work from home" etc. Adds a random "reason" from another predefined array of strings. Fires if there are no interactive
 sessions on the server at 8:45am
 xoox: (and the oscar goes to) fucking-coffee. sh this one waits exatly 17 seconds(), then opens a telnet session to
 our coffee-machine (we had no frikin idea the coffee machine is on the network, runs linux and has a TCP socket up and
 running) and sends something like sys brew.Turns out this thing starts brewing a mid-sized half-caf latte and waits
 another 24 () seconds before pouring it into a cup. The timing is exactly how long it takes to walk to the machine from
 the dudes desk.
 xoxx: holy sh"t I'm keeping those
I found this on an old Git account
                
            

            
            
I found this on an old Git account