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Amazon, Ass, and Dildo: bandtshirt jillz @JillyKila Amazon got me fucked up tellin all my business!!! 5:01 PM.1/14/19 Twitter for iPhone LMAO00000000 theblackd4hlia no but seriously one time i ordered something from adam & eve (surprise a big ol dildo) and the order said discreet shipping and i was like cool ya know cause i lived with three dudes in an apartment and also had to go to the apartment office to pick up my package so discreet is dope and i got the package delivery notification like sick im about to dick myself so i walked my happy horny ass down to the office and told the lady my name and she went into the package delivery room to grab it and it took her a minute and she came out with a dick shaped bag just grasping the shaft of it and i looked at it mortified and had to grab the balls part of the package from the woman and she let go and it just wiggled and i could feel the squish through the bag and it was just horrible anonbuddha If it's any consolation, I get it. I'm a trans guy who wears a packer. One day I was in the restroom and pulled my pants down. I realy had to go so l did it fast and the magnet clip came undone and my dick flopped out of my boxers and bounced into the stall next to me The OCCUPIED stall next to me. I wanted to die. There was this horrible forever silence moments. Then the dude just goes, Uh, you dropped your dick man," and nudges it over with his foot i havent laughed this hard in a month via /r/memes http://bit.ly/2DXBsD0
Amazon, Ass, and Dildo: bandtshirt
 jillz
 @JillyKila
 Amazon got me fucked up tellin all
 my business!!!
 5:01 PM.1/14/19 Twitter for iPhone
 LMAO00000000
 theblackd4hlia
 no but seriously one time i ordered something from adam & eve (surprise a big
 ol dildo) and the order said discreet shipping and i was like cool ya know cause
 i lived with three dudes in an apartment and also had to go to the apartment
 office to pick up my package so discreet is dope and i got the package delivery
 notification like sick im about to dick myself so i walked my happy horny ass
 down to the office and told the lady my name and she went into the package
 delivery room to grab it and it took her a minute and she came out with a dick
 shaped bag just grasping the shaft of it and i looked at it mortified and had to
 grab the balls part of the package from the woman and she let go and it just
 wiggled and i could feel the squish through the bag and it was just horrible
 anonbuddha
 If it's any consolation, I get it. I'm a trans guy who wears a packer. One day I
 was in the restroom and pulled my pants down. I realy had to go so l did it fast
 and the magnet clip came undone and my dick flopped out of my boxers and
 bounced into the stall next to me
 The OCCUPIED stall next to me.
 I wanted to die. There was this horrible forever silence moments. Then the
 dude just goes, Uh, you dropped your dick man," and nudges it over with his
 foot
i havent laughed this hard in a month via /r/memes http://bit.ly/2DXBsD0

i havent laughed this hard in a month via /r/memes http://bit.ly/2DXBsD0

Amazon, Ass, and Dank: bandtshirt jillz @JillyKila Amazon got me fucked up tellin all my business!!! 5:01 PM.1/14/19 Twitter for iPhone LMAO00000000 theblackd4hlia no but seriously one time i ordered something from adam & eve (surprise a big ol dildo) and the order said discreet shipping and i was like cool ya know cause i lived with three dudes in an apartment and also had to go to the apartment office to pick up my package so discreet is dope and i got the package delivery notification like sick im about to dick myself so i walked my happy horny ass down to the office and told the lady my name and she went into the package delivery room to grab it and it took her a minute and she came out with a dick shaped bag just grasping the shaft of it and i looked at it mortified and had to grab the balls part of the package from the woman and she let go and it just wiggled and i could feel the squish through the bag and it was just horrible anonbuddha If it's any consolation, I get it. I'm a trans guy who wears a packer. One day I was in the restroom and pulled my pants down. I realy had to go so l did it fast and the magnet clip came undone and my dick flopped out of my boxers and bounced into the stall next to me The OCCUPIED stall next to me. I wanted to die. There was this horrible forever silence moments. Then the dude just goes, Uh, you dropped your dick man," and nudges it over with his foot i havent laughed this hard in a month by macmoosie MORE MEMES
Amazon, Ass, and Dank: bandtshirt
 jillz
 @JillyKila
 Amazon got me fucked up tellin all
 my business!!!
 5:01 PM.1/14/19 Twitter for iPhone
 LMAO00000000
 theblackd4hlia
 no but seriously one time i ordered something from adam & eve (surprise a big
 ol dildo) and the order said discreet shipping and i was like cool ya know cause
 i lived with three dudes in an apartment and also had to go to the apartment
 office to pick up my package so discreet is dope and i got the package delivery
 notification like sick im about to dick myself so i walked my happy horny ass
 down to the office and told the lady my name and she went into the package
 delivery room to grab it and it took her a minute and she came out with a dick
 shaped bag just grasping the shaft of it and i looked at it mortified and had to
 grab the balls part of the package from the woman and she let go and it just
 wiggled and i could feel the squish through the bag and it was just horrible
 anonbuddha
 If it's any consolation, I get it. I'm a trans guy who wears a packer. One day I
 was in the restroom and pulled my pants down. I realy had to go so l did it fast
 and the magnet clip came undone and my dick flopped out of my boxers and
 bounced into the stall next to me
 The OCCUPIED stall next to me.
 I wanted to die. There was this horrible forever silence moments. Then the
 dude just goes, Uh, you dropped your dick man," and nudges it over with his
 foot
i havent laughed this hard in a month by macmoosie
MORE MEMES

i havent laughed this hard in a month by macmoosie MORE MEMES

Cars, Juice, and Memes: Today, I fucked up... by calling a locksmith when l was "locked out"of my car groud-On: today-ifuckedup: I'll preface this by saying I'm usually not a stupid man but I was at the end of my third 16 hour shift in a row and I was very tired. I'll make this quick: I got off work, went out to my car, hit the button for the doors on my remote unlocker as usual. Nothing happened. I tried it a few more times battery must be dead. I stand there for 10 minutes, mashing the little button, hoping for enough juice to open the doors. Nada I call a locksmith, explain that I'm locked out of my car. He says he'll be right over. 20 minutes later he arrives. He walks up with his tools, inserts a thing that looks like a blood pressure cuff in the door jamb. He starts making conversation as it inflates, pushing the door open: So locked your keys in the car? No problem sir, I'lI have it open in a minute. No, my keys are right here, my key fob is dead." I replied He stops and for about 10 seconds. Doesn't say a word. He sees my keys in my hands. Takes them from me, inserts them in the lock and opens the door I was mortified. I was so in a habit of opening the doors with my remote fob that I entirely forgot that keys could be used to unlock cars manually He started laughing so hard I thought he was going to have an aneurysm. After he stopped laughing, he told me there was no charge. The story he'd have to tell was worth the drive out Gold I'm dying at what @memezar just posted 😂😂
Cars, Juice, and Memes: Today, I fucked up... by calling a
 locksmith when l was "locked
 out"of my car
 groud-On:
 today-ifuckedup:
 I'll preface this by saying I'm usually not a stupid man but I was at the end
 of my third 16 hour shift in a row and I was very tired. I'll make this quick:
 I got off work, went out to my car, hit the button for the doors on my
 remote unlocker as usual. Nothing happened. I tried it a few more times
 battery must be dead. I stand there for 10 minutes, mashing the little
 button, hoping for enough juice to open the doors. Nada
 I call a locksmith, explain that I'm locked out of my car. He says he'll be
 right over. 20 minutes later he arrives. He walks up with his tools, inserts
 a thing that looks like a blood pressure cuff in the door jamb. He starts
 making conversation as it inflates, pushing the door open:
 So locked your keys in the car? No problem sir, I'lI have it open in a
 minute.
 No, my keys are right here, my key fob is dead." I replied
 He stops and for about 10 seconds. Doesn't say a word. He sees my
 keys in my hands. Takes them from me, inserts them in the lock and
 opens the door
 I was mortified. I was so in a habit of opening the doors with my remote
 fob that I entirely forgot that keys could be used to unlock cars manually
 He started laughing so hard I thought he was going to have an
 aneurysm. After he stopped laughing, he told me there was no charge.
 The story he'd have to tell was worth the drive out
 Gold
I'm dying at what @memezar just posted 😂😂

I'm dying at what @memezar just posted 😂😂

Being Alone, Anaconda, and Animals: ugly fuckthekxng gokishi man you know what I want? a superhero series where they have powers that 100% contradict their personalities. a fishermans daughter who lives by the sea, swims every day, learns that she can control fire. a boy whos mortified of heights but realizes he can use antigravity and hates it. someone who was bitten by a dog as a child, suffers extreme fear around animals, can now communicate with them. they're all disgusted by their powers. uss-assbutt yes good but what about the character development as they learn to cope with their powers and overcome their fears the pyrokinetic swimmer wading out into the ocean armed with waterproof matches to practice so nothing goes wrong, building her confidence with the sea as her safety net, being so proud when she figures out how to heat the air just enough that she dries off instantly after swimming the boy slowly overcoming his fear of heights, realizing that he can catch himself if he ever falls, standing swaying on top of playground sets and closing his eyes as he tries to safely hover down (and not fall on his face again) the girl's terror lessening as the previously terrifying cacophony of the dogs at the park turns into a chorus of ba ball! throw me the ball!" "it's me! I'm the good boy!" and "squir- re!!" and learning to communicate back, have them listen to her, learning how to calm down a dog who's overexcited to the point of biting, discovering that the scary dog down the street is just home alone a lot and lonely, staring her fear in the face and learning its secrets because being disgusted with their powers is interesting, but I want to see people learning to love even the scary and contradictory parts of themselves Source: gokishi 488,193 notes omg-humor:Coming soon!!
Being Alone, Anaconda, and Animals: ugly
 fuckthekxng
 gokishi
 man you know what I want? a superhero
 series where they have powers that 100%
 contradict their personalities. a fishermans
 daughter who lives by the sea, swims every
 day, learns that she can control fire. a boy
 whos mortified of heights but realizes he
 can use antigravity and hates it. someone
 who was bitten by a dog as a child, suffers
 extreme fear around animals, can now
 communicate with them. they're all disgusted
 by their powers.
 uss-assbutt
 yes good but what about the character
 development as they learn to cope with their
 powers and overcome their fears
 the pyrokinetic swimmer wading out into the
 ocean armed with waterproof matches to
 practice so nothing goes wrong, building her
 confidence with the sea as her safety net,
 being so proud when she figures out how to
 heat the air just enough that she dries off
 instantly after swimming
 the boy slowly overcoming his fear of heights,
 realizing that he can catch himself if he ever
 falls, standing swaying on top of playground
 sets and closing his eyes as he tries to safely
 hover down (and not fall on his face again)
 the girl's terror lessening as the previously
 terrifying cacophony of the dogs at the park
 turns into a chorus of ba ball! throw me the
 ball!" "it's me! I'm the good boy!" and "squir-
 re!!" and learning to communicate back, have
 them listen to her, learning how to calm down
 a dog who's overexcited to the point of biting,
 discovering that the scary dog down the street
 is just home alone a lot and lonely, staring her
 fear in the face and learning its secrets
 because being disgusted with their powers is
 interesting, but I want to see people learning
 to love even the scary and contradictory parts
 of themselves
 Source: gokishi
 488,193 notes
omg-humor:Coming soon!!

omg-humor:Coming soon!!

Being Alone, Anaconda, and Android: nightmare some guy u dont kno that well: What, I don't get a hug? 66,899 notes worstlokisuggestion: hogwartsian-quotes: smudging-sage: alleiradayne: prismatic-bell: midoriko-sama: oxfordcommaforever: han-syolo-shot-first: bubblegumsith: cosmic-noir: twowandsandadrink: ashkinator: politicalsexmaskitten: hooraychelle: yellowxperil: srsly tho this is absolutely a thing that dudes do all the f***ing time like where if he knows a girl doesn’t necessarily want to give him a hug, he will trap her in this position in front of witnesses where she has 2 options- both of which are undesirable for her, while simultaneously desirable for him if she doesn’t want to hug him, whatever she does, it will suck for her. she can 1. say nah and be the fucking asshole in front of other ppl or 2. forsake her corporeal boundaries and allow unwanted intimate contact it’s a f***ing trap F***ing hate dudes forreal. too many f***ing times ugh Story time.One day I was on the MAX (basically a giant street car that goes all over the metro area) on my way to meet up with a few friends. I didn’t look at anyone, I didn’t speak to anyone, I just stood to the side on my phone making sure I wasn’t going to be late to my meeting.Out of no where, this guy comes up to me and starts to chat me up. Me, being who I am, am absolutely terrified to tell this guy to f*** off. He was at least half a foot taller than me, and was way too bulky for me to fight back. So I suck it up at humor him, say hello. Before introducing himself or asking me for my name, he asks me out on a date. Not wanting to piss him off I try to make light of the situation and I laugh, telling him that my boyfriend wouldn’t like the idea, but thank you for the offer. He just shrugs and says, “He doesn’t need to know.”At this point I’m scared out of my mind. There’s this guy who, after seeing me run two blocks to catch the train, comes up to me and has made it perfectly clear that he wasn’t going to leave without getting something out of me.I deny him a second time, saying, “I don’t even know you’re name. We’re strangers, I don’t know you.” He finally introduces himself and asks me for my phone number. I tell him I don’t give my number out to people I’ve just met and he says, “Fine, but at least take mine so we can meet up later.” So he watches me plug his number into my phone (which I deleted as soon as I knew I was safe and away from him) as we’re pulling up to my stop. I tell him I need to leave and switch trains and he tells me, “Oh, I’ll wait with you. I don’t have any plans, so I’m in no rush.” It’s important to note what at this point he had previously told me that he was late to a job interview, but he has all the time in the world because he still hasn’t gotten what he wanted from me; a yes.I get off of the train and he follows me, and waits at the platform with me for over ten minutes until my train arrives, asking me all sorts of personal questions about where I live and where I was going that day. As soon as the train pulls up he grabs for me and says, “Do I at least get a hug before you go?”I was terrified. I was embarrassed. This dude, who before even asking me for my name asks me out on a date and then continues to harass me after I tell him I have a boyfriend, asks me for a hug only fifteen minutes after meeting. People around us were staring at me, as if I was being rude for denying him, and every inch of me was mortified. I wanted to run, but I felt like if I had done that he would have chased after me and things would have gotten worse. So I did, and he squeezed me so tight I felt like I was going to burst. It took me a good ten seconds to get him to let go and I ran to the train car just as the doors were closing. He was trying to get me to miss my train so I would have to wait with him even longer. I would have been stuck there for over a half an hour until the next train came by, and the platform (aside from the few buses coming by) was now COMPLETELY EMPTY. He knew EXACTLY what he was doing and he knew EXACTLY how to get me alone with him.People, if you are in a situation like this do not feel obligated to give in. If someone is making you uncomfortable and asks to touch you in any way, YOU DO NOT HAVE TO SAY YES. Make excuses, be blunt, just straight up say ‘no’. If possible, go to someone else near by who you think can help you and ask them to help you. It’s important for guys to learn that they can’t get what they want just by asking over and over again.I got lucky. But not everyone does. Please, everyone, Be Safe. SECOND STORY TIME So I was on the transit bus alone one time. This was my first time riding, and so already I was PETRIFIED. I sit down, pull out my ipod, and begin to play some games. This guy sits down next to me, and begins trying to have a conversation. I don’t really respond, I don’t even look at him, just give half-hearted “mhm”s and “oh”s, as I don’t want to be rude if he was just striking up a friendly conversation. He then asks me on a date. Now, as I stated before, I already was absolutely petrified. My heart stopped and I didn’t know how to answer. So I just didn’t. He didn’t let up and I could feel his eyes on me. I quietly stammer out a “no thanks” and my stop HAPPENS to be coming up, so I pull the string thing to let the driver know I want to stop there, and once we stop and the doors open I get up and he asks me, “Well, can I at least have a hug before you go if you won’t go on a date with me?”  This makes me break. There are now people staring, as we are the only people standing up and not getting off… So I just start crying. Hell, I am bawling almost instantly. He looks so fucking freaked out and people are now getting up to come over and comfort me/question him. I don’t stop crying, and he keeps trying to comfort me by touching me, and people are yelling at him for that.  AND THEN. AND. FUCKING. THEN. THE GOD DAMN BUS DRIVER. A VERY EASILY 6 FOOT BURLY MAN. COMES OVER TO US. PULLS THE GUY AWAY. AND KNEELS DOWN. HE THEN ASKS, IN THE MOST CALM VOICE, “Did you request the stop?” I very slowly and shakily nod, as I am still crying my eyes out. He then asks, “Do you want to get off?” I give a quiet “mhm” and nod once again, and he offers me his hand. I take it, he stands up, and he escorts me off the bus. He asks me questions such as where I was going next, if I was going to meet someone shortly, if I was going to transfer buses from there. He was very polite and waited for me to answer the entire time, and my friend (who I was going to be meeting there) showed up. He asked me if this was someone I knew, I said yes, and he said alright, have a good day. He then told me- and this is something stuck in my mind forever, so it is word for word- “If some guy EVER starts harassing you like that again, do exactly what you did there. Cry. Cry and scream and have a temper tantrum. Not only will it throw him off, but it will get others to notice. They might not interfere, they might, but you will have gotten their attention and if you happen to go missing the next day the search for you will be a hell of a lot easier because everyone in that location will have seen you screaming and crying with a guy now very awkward with his actions. They will know. That is what my daughter did, and three days after she went missing she was back in my arms. I pray for you and every other person like you who has this done. You stay safe now, okay?” And after I began blubbering again, I nodded and he left. So this is the second lesson for yall. If you can not have the courage to say no or make an excuse, cry. Let out those sobs and tears and cry your heart out. Because it is going to make people notice and make people aware. Reblogging for that second story. This might save a life. I just wanna note that bus drivers can be really amazing and good ones do look out for their riders. Also, as an additional tip (in case you cannot cry on command or such), you can say, “No, because you’re creepy/creeping me out” and if he persists or tries to laugh it off, say “I do not want to be touched” and look at one of the strangers/persons that is watching. It:1. Gives them a sense of urgency in the situation, as the eye contact is a way to make them feel as though you are personally asking for their help and it is now their obligation to help.2. Contains words so that if you’re in a public place but people aren’t necessarily watching, then they (as natural evesdroppers) can overhear the attention-grabbing words and then notice the situation. Note, this does NOT mean that they will come for help, but you might be able to look someone in the eye (as previously mentioned) or just get some people’s attention.3. It shows that you have fight in you. As with rapists, those who are physically aggressive (ie. these huggers) choose women they see as an easy target. The moment you show them you are going/willing to fight them, they are less likely to continue. Sadly, this is not always the case, but every little bit helps. Hopes this also helps, guys, and I’m so sad that this has to even be a post we need. Dudes who follow me: 1) reblog this 2) don’t be the creepy guy who asks random women for hugs 3) be aware of your friends or random creepy dudes and call them out if they act gross towards girls/womem Ok, I wasn’t going to comment about this, because there was no way of doing it without talking about a part of my life I really didn’t want to. But fuck that, there be young girls out there who need a hand. So I used to be hot when I was young. I mean, model hot, because I actually used to model. Even now, I’ve let myself go on purpose because I was tired of the harassment. But I fit a UK size 6 with a pert ass from volleyball and a cup c breast. As you can imagine, I couldn’t wear anything or go ANYWHERE without being harassed. I sometimes even happened in church. Anyway, I’m not a shrinking lily, and when I get angry enough I can do some crazy shit. So here are some of my coping mechanisms: 1) find a matronly looking lady, run up to her with ‘aunt may! I haven’t seen you in ages! ’ then whisper ‘please help he’s harassing me!’. 99.9 times out of 100, she will be scandalised and help you anyway even if she’s annoyed or in a hurry. If no older lady is available, find a younger one, or a nun, or a trans lady. We of the sisterhood know what it is to be harnessed, and I guarantee if you look frightened enough, they will help. 2) If you are out alone at night, and someone is following you, spot a house or apartment where the lights are on and knock, asking ‘mum’ or ‘dad’ or ‘john’ to let you in. Even if the people inside are annoyed, odds are they won’t turn you away, and you can phone someone to pick you up, or phone the police from a safe space 3) Make noise. Cry and scream loudly, call them out ‘i don’t know you and you are terrifying me! Please get away from me!’ if there are people around. Even if they don’t help directly for fear of their own safety, someone around you is calling security or 911. 4) speak a foreign language. If you know it, speak the language to them fast and incessantly, like you have just met someone you knew and you’re just giving the best performance rant of why your OTP is the best OTP. Make yourself ANNOYING. Think about what would be awkward and annoying to you and make it what you do to them. If you make them think YOU are something to get away from they will leave you in peace. Now beware, the following ones are the CRAZY ones and may not always work. But they are a valid last resort: 5) stare at them. Stare at them like you’re hungry and they are a hapless deer you’re going to tear to pieces. Like yours the girl from the ring emerging from the TV to kill them. Don’t smile, don’t change your expression. DON’T BLINK. Hold their state like you’re Wednesday Adams about to do unspeakable things to a spider, and they are the spider. Even the most courageous of stalkers balk at this, but if they don’t… 6) Use the Hannibal Lector. After staring at them for and extended period of time (imagine all the things that have made you scared, imagine you could get revenge on them for putting you here, that’s the thought you need to have), if they are getting closer to you, whisper something like ‘i would fry your liver in garlic’. Even the hardiest ones will be taken aback, but keep it up while making sure you don’t let the others hear you. Things like, occult star readings requiring blood, wondering whether he is the offering the spirits sent. If you’re on this site you’ve read some weird shit at least once. Tell him that. Tell him you would like him to meet your lord, Vlad the Impaler, who requires much blood to be appeased. Be a stereotypical ‘crazy bitch’ like they see in the movies. Believe it or not, this has worked for me twice. Above all, banish the notion that you have to be polite. They were impolite by approaching you. If you can, ignore them. If you are not alone, pointedly put headphones in your ear, and don’t make eye contact, wait for them to realise that ‘youre a bitch anyway’ and move away. If you are alone, evade and find places and ways to fix that as soon as POSSIBLE. And if all else fails, summon Satan. Something I have learned at work: Never underestimate the power of a good “EXCUSE me????” Legit. It makes people STOP IN THEIR TRACKS. This is the one I whip out when people start swearing at me over the headset and always, without fail, they stop what they’re saying, shocked. Go for offended, and go for loud. Not yelling loud, but giving-your-best-presentation loud. “EXCUSE me??? You approached me two minutes ago, I don’t even know your name, and you want WHAT? Creep.” For one, the presentation will shock them. For another, that indignant tone? EVERYONE AROUND YOU IS GOING TO WANT TO LISTEN TO THIS JUICY SHIT. Now the second key here is, DON’T LET HIM JADE (justify, argue, defend, explain). He smiles and goes “I just wanted–” FUCKING INTERRUPT HIM. Firmly. Irritably. “I heard what you wanted, and I’ve already declined once. Maybe you should go back to kindergarten where they teach you no means no.” Run right over the fucker. He’s not respecting your words, you don’t need to respect his. A further note: if you’re an iPhone user, you can use Siri to call 911. (I know Android has a similar function, but I don’t know what it is–play with your AI and find out.) If you’re in a secluded area, this works well; I used to walk home from work at 2am and had to do it twice. Make eye contact with your harasser, activate Siri, and loudly, firmly say “Siri, call 911.” Siri will immediately reply “calling emergency services.” (It actually takes five seconds to activate, but there’s a Call Now button if you need it.) Almost ALWAYS the person harassing you would rather take off than wait for you to get a dispatcher on the line. As they say on the podcast, My Favorite Murder: Fuck Politeness. This is NOT the kind of thing I usually post on here, but this is something that every female [or, every person honestly, harrassment isnt a one way street]needs to see. This is a fairly active blog, so I hope to see numerous reblogs. Who cares that this isn’t Harry Potter it’s important stay safe people
Being Alone, Anaconda, and Android: nightmare
 some guy u dont kno that well: What, I don't get a hug?
 66,899 notes
worstlokisuggestion:

hogwartsian-quotes:

smudging-sage:

alleiradayne:

prismatic-bell:

midoriko-sama:


oxfordcommaforever:

han-syolo-shot-first:

bubblegumsith:

cosmic-noir:

twowandsandadrink:

ashkinator:

politicalsexmaskitten:

hooraychelle:

yellowxperil:

srsly tho this is absolutely a thing that dudes do all the f***ing time
like where if he knows a girl doesn’t necessarily want to give him a hug, he will trap her in this position in front of witnesses where she has 2 options- both of which are undesirable for her, while simultaneously desirable for him
if she doesn’t want to hug him, whatever she does, it will suck for her.
she can 1. say nah and be the fucking asshole in front of other ppl or 2. forsake her corporeal boundaries and allow unwanted intimate contact
it’s a f***ing trap

F***ing hate dudes forreal.

too many f***ing times ugh

Story time.One day I was on the MAX (basically a giant street car that goes all over the metro area) on my way to meet up with a few friends. I didn’t look at anyone, I didn’t speak to anyone, I just stood to the side on my phone making sure I wasn’t going to be late to my meeting.Out of no where, this guy comes up to me and starts to chat me up. Me, being who I am, am absolutely terrified to tell this guy to f*** off. He was at least half a foot taller than me, and was way too bulky for me to fight back. So I suck it up at humor him, say hello. Before introducing himself or asking me for my name, he asks me out on a date. Not wanting to piss him off I try to make light of the situation and I laugh, telling him that my boyfriend wouldn’t like the idea, but thank you for the offer. He just shrugs and says, “He doesn’t need to know.”At this point I’m scared out of my mind. There’s this guy who, after seeing me run two blocks to catch the train, comes up to me and has made it perfectly clear that he wasn’t going to leave without getting something out of me.I deny him a second time, saying, “I don’t even know you’re name. We’re strangers, I don’t know you.” He finally introduces himself and asks me for my phone number. I tell him I don’t give my number out to people I’ve just met and he says, “Fine, but at least take mine so we can meet up later.” So he watches me plug his number into my phone (which I deleted as soon as I knew I was safe and away from him) as we’re pulling up to my stop. I tell him I need to leave and switch trains and he tells me, “Oh, I’ll wait with you. I don’t have any plans, so I’m in no rush.” It’s important to note what at this point he had previously told me that he was late to a job interview, but he has all the time in the world because he still hasn’t gotten what he wanted from me; a yes.I get off of the train and he follows me, and waits at the platform with me for over ten minutes until my train arrives, asking me all sorts of personal questions about where I live and where I was going that day. As soon as the train pulls up he grabs for me and says, “Do I at least get a hug before you go?”I was terrified. I was embarrassed. This dude, who before even asking me for my name asks me out on a date and then continues to harass me after I tell him I have a boyfriend, asks me for a hug only fifteen minutes after meeting. People around us were staring at me, as if I was being rude for denying him, and every inch of me was mortified. I wanted to run, but I felt like if I had done that he would have chased after me and things would have gotten worse. So I did, and he squeezed me so tight I felt like I was going to burst. It took me a good ten seconds to get him to let go and I ran to the train car just as the doors were closing. He was trying to get me to miss my train so I would have to wait with him even longer. I would have been stuck there for over a half an hour until the next train came by, and the platform (aside from the few buses coming by) was now COMPLETELY EMPTY. He knew EXACTLY what he was doing and he knew EXACTLY how to get me alone with him.People, if you are in a situation like this do not feel obligated to give in. If someone is making you uncomfortable and asks to touch you in any way, YOU DO NOT HAVE TO SAY YES. Make excuses, be blunt, just straight up say ‘no’. If possible, go to someone else near by who you think can help you and ask them to help you. It’s important for guys to learn that they can’t get what they want just by asking over and over again.I got lucky. But not everyone does. Please, everyone, Be Safe.

SECOND STORY TIME
So I was on the transit bus alone one time. This was my first time riding, and so already I was PETRIFIED. I sit down, pull out my ipod, and begin to play some games. This guy sits down next to me, and begins trying to have a conversation. I don’t really respond, I don’t even look at him, just give half-hearted “mhm”s and “oh”s, as I don’t want to be rude if he was just striking up a friendly conversation. He then asks me on a date.
Now, as I stated before, I already was absolutely petrified. My heart stopped and I didn’t know how to answer. So I just didn’t. He didn’t let up and I could feel his eyes on me. I quietly stammer out a “no thanks” and my stop HAPPENS to be coming up, so I pull the string thing to let the driver know I want to stop there, and once we stop and the doors open I get up and he asks me, “Well, can I at least have a hug before you go if you won’t go on a date with me?” 
This makes me break. There are now people staring, as we are the only people standing up and not getting off… So I just start crying. Hell, I am bawling almost instantly. He looks so fucking freaked out and people are now getting up to come over and comfort me/question him. I don’t stop crying, and he keeps trying to comfort me by touching me, and people are yelling at him for that. 
AND THEN. AND. FUCKING. THEN. THE GOD DAMN BUS DRIVER. A VERY EASILY 6 FOOT BURLY MAN. COMES OVER TO US. PULLS THE GUY AWAY. AND KNEELS DOWN. HE THEN ASKS, IN THE MOST CALM VOICE, “Did you request the stop?” I very slowly and shakily nod, as I am still crying my eyes out. He then asks, “Do you want to get off?” I give a quiet “mhm” and nod once again, and he offers me his hand. I take it, he stands up, and he escorts me off the bus. He asks me questions such as where I was going next, if I was going to meet someone shortly, if I was going to transfer buses from there. He was very polite and waited for me to answer the entire time, and my friend (who I was going to be meeting there) showed up. He asked me if this was someone I knew, I said yes, and he said alright, have a good day. He then told me- and this is something stuck in my mind forever, so it is word for word-
“If some guy EVER starts harassing you like that again, do exactly what you did there. Cry. Cry and scream and have a temper tantrum. Not only will it throw him off, but it will get others to notice. They might not interfere, they might, but you will have gotten their attention and if you happen to go missing the next day the search for you will be a hell of a lot easier because everyone in that location will have seen you screaming and crying with a guy now very awkward with his actions. They will know. That is what my daughter did, and three days after she went missing she was back in my arms. I pray for you and every other person like you who has this done. You stay safe now, okay?” And after I began blubbering again, I nodded and he left.
So this is the second lesson for yall. If you can not have the courage to say no or make an excuse, cry. Let out those sobs and tears and cry your heart out. Because it is going to make people notice and make people aware.

Reblogging for that second story. This might save a life.

I just wanna note that bus drivers can be really amazing and good ones do look out for their riders.

Also, as an additional tip (in case you cannot cry on command or such), you can say, “No, because you’re creepy/creeping me out” and if he persists or tries to laugh it off, say “I do not want to be touched” and look at one of the strangers/persons that is watching.
It:1. Gives them a sense of urgency in the situation, as the eye contact is a way to make them feel as though you are personally asking for their help and it is now their obligation to help.2. Contains words so that if you’re in a public place but people aren’t necessarily watching, then they (as natural evesdroppers) can overhear the attention-grabbing words and then notice the situation. Note, this does NOT mean that they will come for help, but you might be able to look someone in the eye (as previously mentioned) or just get some people’s attention.3. It shows that you have fight in you. As with rapists, those who are physically aggressive (ie. these huggers) choose women they see as an easy target. The moment you show them you are going/willing to fight them, they are less likely to continue. Sadly, this is not always the case, but every little bit helps.
Hopes this also helps, guys, and I’m so sad that this has to even be a post we need.


Dudes who follow me: 1) reblog this 2) don’t be the creepy guy who asks random women for hugs 3) be aware of your friends or random creepy dudes and call them out if they act gross towards girls/womem

Ok, I wasn’t going to comment about this, because there was no way of doing it without talking about a part of my life I really didn’t want to. But fuck that, there be young girls out there who need a hand.
So I used to be hot when I was young. I mean, model hot, because I actually used to model. Even now, I’ve let myself go on purpose because I was tired of the harassment. But I fit a UK size 6 with a pert ass from volleyball and a cup c breast. As you can imagine, I couldn’t wear anything or go ANYWHERE without being harassed. I sometimes even happened in church.
Anyway, I’m not a shrinking lily, and when I get angry enough I can do some crazy shit. So here are some of my coping mechanisms:
1) find a matronly looking lady, run up to her with ‘aunt may! I haven’t seen you in ages! ’ then whisper ‘please help he’s harassing me!’. 99.9 times out of 100, she will be scandalised and help you anyway even if she’s annoyed or in a hurry. If no older lady is available, find a younger one, or a nun, or a trans lady. We of the sisterhood know what it is to be harnessed, and I guarantee if you look frightened enough, they will help.
2) If you are out alone at night, and someone is following you, spot a house or apartment where the lights are on and knock, asking ‘mum’ or ‘dad’ or ‘john’ to let you in. Even if the people inside are annoyed, odds are they won’t turn you away, and you can phone someone to pick you up, or phone the police from a safe space
3) Make noise. Cry and scream loudly, call them out ‘i don’t know you and you are terrifying me! Please get away from me!’ if there are people around. Even if they don’t help directly for fear of their own safety, someone around you is calling security or 911.
4) speak a foreign language. If you know it, speak the language to them fast and incessantly, like you have just met someone you knew and you’re just giving the best performance rant of why your OTP is the best OTP. Make yourself ANNOYING. Think about what would be awkward and annoying to you and make it what you do to them. If you make them think YOU are something to get away from they will leave you in peace.
Now beware, the following ones are the CRAZY ones and may not always work. But they are a valid last resort:
5) stare at them. Stare at them like you’re hungry and they are a hapless deer you’re going to tear to pieces. Like yours the girl from the ring emerging from the TV to kill them. Don’t smile, don’t change your expression. DON’T BLINK. Hold their state like you’re Wednesday Adams about to do unspeakable things to a spider, and they are the spider. Even the most courageous of stalkers balk at this, but if they don’t…
6) Use the Hannibal Lector. After staring at them for and extended period of time (imagine all the things that have made you scared, imagine you could get revenge on them for putting you here, that’s the thought you need to have), if they are getting closer to you, whisper something like ‘i would fry your liver in garlic’. Even the hardiest ones will be taken aback, but keep it up while making sure you don’t let the others hear you. Things like, occult star readings requiring blood, wondering whether he is the offering the spirits sent. If you’re on this site you’ve read some weird shit at least once. Tell him that. Tell him you would like him to meet your lord, Vlad the Impaler, who requires much blood to be appeased. Be a stereotypical ‘crazy bitch’ like they see in the movies. Believe it or not, this has worked for me twice.
Above all, banish the notion that you have to be polite.
They were impolite by approaching you. If you can, ignore them. If you are not alone, pointedly put headphones in your ear, and don’t make eye contact, wait for them to realise that ‘youre a bitch anyway’ and move away. If you are alone, evade and find places and ways to fix that as soon as POSSIBLE.
And if all else fails, summon Satan.


Something I have learned at work:
Never underestimate the power of a good “EXCUSE me????”
Legit. It makes people STOP IN THEIR TRACKS. This is the one I whip out when people start swearing at me over the headset and always, without fail, they stop what they’re saying, shocked.
Go for offended, and go for loud. Not yelling loud, but giving-your-best-presentation loud. “EXCUSE me??? You approached me two minutes ago, I don’t even know your name, and you want WHAT? Creep.”
For one, the presentation will shock them. For another, that indignant tone? EVERYONE AROUND YOU IS GOING TO WANT TO LISTEN TO THIS JUICY SHIT.
Now the second key here is, DON’T LET HIM JADE (justify, argue, defend, explain). He smiles and goes “I just wanted–” FUCKING INTERRUPT HIM. Firmly. Irritably. “I heard what you wanted, and I’ve already declined once. Maybe you should go back to kindergarten where they teach you no means no.” Run right over the fucker. He’s not respecting your words, you don’t need to respect his.
A further note: if you’re an iPhone user, you can use Siri to call 911. (I know Android has a similar function, but I don’t know what it is–play with your AI and find out.) If you’re in a secluded area, this works well; I used to walk home from work at 2am and had to do it twice. Make eye contact with your harasser, activate Siri, and loudly, firmly say “Siri, call 911.” Siri will immediately reply “calling emergency services.” (It actually takes five seconds to activate, but there’s a Call Now button if you need it.) Almost ALWAYS the person harassing you would rather take off than wait for you to get a dispatcher on the line.

As they say on the podcast, My Favorite Murder:
Fuck Politeness.


This is NOT the kind of thing I usually post on here, but this is something that every female [or, every person honestly, harrassment isnt a one way street]needs to see. This is a fairly active blog, so I hope to see numerous reblogs.


Who cares that this isn’t Harry Potter it’s important 

stay safe people

worstlokisuggestion: hogwartsian-quotes: smudging-sage: alleiradayne: prismatic-bell: midoriko-sama: oxfordcommaforever: han-syolo-s...

Being Alone, Anaconda, and Animals: ugly fuckthekxng gokishi man you know what I want? a superhero series where they have powers that 100% contradict their personalities. a fishermans daughter who lives by the sea, swims every day, learns that she can control fire. a boy whos mortified of heights but realizes he can use antigravity and hates it. someone who was bitten by a dog as a child, suffers extreme fear around animals, can now communicate with them. they're all disgusted by their powers. uss-assbutt yes good but what about the character development as they learn to cope with their powers and overcome their fears the pyrokinetic swimmer wading out into the ocean armed with waterproof matches to practice so nothing goes wrong, building her confidence with the sea as her safety net, being so proud when she figures out how to heat the air just enough that she dries off instantly after swimming the boy slowly overcoming his fear of heights, realizing that he can catch himself if he ever falls, standing swaying on top of playground sets and closing his eyes as he tries to safely hover down (and not fall on his face again) the girl's terror lessening as the previously terrifying cacophony of the dogs at the park turns into a chorus of ba ball! throw me the ball!" "it's me! I'm the good boy!" and "squir- re!!" and learning to communicate back, have them listen to her, learning how to calm down a dog who's overexcited to the point of biting, discovering that the scary dog down the street is just home alone a lot and lonely, staring her fear in the face and learning its secrets because being disgusted with their powers is interesting, but I want to see people learning to love even the scary and contradictory parts of themselves Source: gokishi 488,193 notes Coming soon!!
Being Alone, Anaconda, and Animals: ugly
 fuckthekxng
 gokishi
 man you know what I want? a superhero
 series where they have powers that 100%
 contradict their personalities. a fishermans
 daughter who lives by the sea, swims every
 day, learns that she can control fire. a boy
 whos mortified of heights but realizes he
 can use antigravity and hates it. someone
 who was bitten by a dog as a child, suffers
 extreme fear around animals, can now
 communicate with them. they're all disgusted
 by their powers.
 uss-assbutt
 yes good but what about the character
 development as they learn to cope with their
 powers and overcome their fears
 the pyrokinetic swimmer wading out into the
 ocean armed with waterproof matches to
 practice so nothing goes wrong, building her
 confidence with the sea as her safety net,
 being so proud when she figures out how to
 heat the air just enough that she dries off
 instantly after swimming
 the boy slowly overcoming his fear of heights,
 realizing that he can catch himself if he ever
 falls, standing swaying on top of playground
 sets and closing his eyes as he tries to safely
 hover down (and not fall on his face again)
 the girl's terror lessening as the previously
 terrifying cacophony of the dogs at the park
 turns into a chorus of ba ball! throw me the
 ball!" "it's me! I'm the good boy!" and "squir-
 re!!" and learning to communicate back, have
 them listen to her, learning how to calm down
 a dog who's overexcited to the point of biting,
 discovering that the scary dog down the street
 is just home alone a lot and lonely, staring her
 fear in the face and learning its secrets
 because being disgusted with their powers is
 interesting, but I want to see people learning
 to love even the scary and contradictory parts
 of themselves
 Source: gokishi
 488,193 notes
Coming soon!!

Coming soon!!

Being Alone, Anaconda, and Android: nightmare some guy u dont kno that well: What, I don't get a hug? 66,899 notes yasminstudin: smudging-sage: alleiradayne: prismatic-bell: midoriko-sama: oxfordcommaforever: han-syolo-shot-first: bubblegumsith: cosmic-noir: twowandsandadrink: ashkinator: politicalsexmaskitten: hooraychelle: yellowxperil: srsly tho this is absolutely a thing that dudes do all the f***ing time like where if he knows a girl doesn’t necessarily want to give him a hug, he will trap her in this position in front of witnesses where she has 2 options- both of which are undesirable for her, while simultaneously desirable for him if she doesn’t want to hug him, whatever she does, it will suck for her. she can 1. say nah and be the fucking asshole in front of other ppl or 2. forsake her corporeal boundaries and allow unwanted intimate contact it’s a f***ing trap F***ing hate dudes forreal. too many f***ing times ugh Story time.One day I was on the MAX (basically a giant street car that goes all over the metro area) on my way to meet up with a few friends. I didn’t look at anyone, I didn’t speak to anyone, I just stood to the side on my phone making sure I wasn’t going to be late to my meeting.Out of no where, this guy comes up to me and starts to chat me up. Me, being who I am, am absolutely terrified to tell this guy to f*** off. He was at least half a foot taller than me, and was way too bulky for me to fight back. So I suck it up at humor him, say hello. Before introducing himself or asking me for my name, he asks me out on a date. Not wanting to piss him off I try to make light of the situation and I laugh, telling him that my boyfriend wouldn’t like the idea, but thank you for the offer. He just shrugs and says, “He doesn’t need to know.”At this point I’m scared out of my mind. There’s this guy who, after seeing me run two blocks to catch the train, comes up to me and has made it perfectly clear that he wasn’t going to leave without getting something out of me.I deny him a second time, saying, “I don’t even know you’re name. We’re strangers, I don’t know you.” He finally introduces himself and asks me for my phone number. I tell him I don’t give my number out to people I’ve just met and he says, “Fine, but at least take mine so we can meet up later.” So he watches me plug his number into my phone (which I deleted as soon as I knew I was safe and away from him) as we’re pulling up to my stop. I tell him I need to leave and switch trains and he tells me, “Oh, I’ll wait with you. I don’t have any plans, so I’m in no rush.” It’s important to note what at this point he had previously told me that he was late to a job interview, but he has all the time in the world because he still hasn’t gotten what he wanted from me; a yes.I get off of the train and he follows me, and waits at the platform with me for over ten minutes until my train arrives, asking me all sorts of personal questions about where I live and where I was going that day. As soon as the train pulls up he grabs for me and says, “Do I at least get a hug before you go?”I was terrified. I was embarrassed. This dude, who before even asking me for my name asks me out on a date and then continues to harass me after I tell him I have a boyfriend, asks me for a hug only fifteen minutes after meeting. People around us were staring at me, as if I was being rude for denying him, and every inch of me was mortified. I wanted to run, but I felt like if I had done that he would have chased after me and things would have gotten worse. So I did, and he squeezed me so tight I felt like I was going to burst. It took me a good ten seconds to get him to let go and I ran to the train car just as the doors were closing. He was trying to get me to miss my train so I would have to wait with him even longer. I would have been stuck there for over a half an hour until the next train came by, and the platform (aside from the few buses coming by) was now COMPLETELY EMPTY. He knew EXACTLY what he was doing and he knew EXACTLY how to get me alone with him.People, if you are in a situation like this do not feel obligated to give in. If someone is making you uncomfortable and asks to touch you in any way, YOU DO NOT HAVE TO SAY YES. Make excuses, be blunt, just straight up say ‘no’. If possible, go to someone else near by who you think can help you and ask them to help you. It’s important for guys to learn that they can’t get what they want just by asking over and over again.I got lucky. But not everyone does. Please, everyone, Be Safe. SECOND STORY TIME So I was on the transit bus alone one time. This was my first time riding, and so already I was PETRIFIED. I sit down, pull out my ipod, and begin to play some games. This guy sits down next to me, and begins trying to have a conversation. I don’t really respond, I don’t even look at him, just give half-hearted “mhm”s and “oh”s, as I don’t want to be rude if he was just striking up a friendly conversation. He then asks me on a date. Now, as I stated before, I already was absolutely petrified. My heart stopped and I didn’t know how to answer. So I just didn’t. He didn’t let up and I could feel his eyes on me. I quietly stammer out a “no thanks” and my stop HAPPENS to be coming up, so I pull the string thing to let the driver know I want to stop there, and once we stop and the doors open I get up and he asks me, “Well, can I at least have a hug before you go if you won’t go on a date with me?”  This makes me break. There are now people staring, as we are the only people standing up and not getting off… So I just start crying. Hell, I am bawling almost instantly. He looks so fucking freaked out and people are now getting up to come over and comfort me/question him. I don’t stop crying, and he keeps trying to comfort me by touching me, and people are yelling at him for that.  AND THEN. AND. FUCKING. THEN. THE GOD DAMN BUS DRIVER. A VERY EASILY 6 FOOT BURLY MAN. COMES OVER TO US. PULLS THE GUY AWAY. AND KNEELS DOWN. HE THEN ASKS, IN THE MOST CALM VOICE, “Did you request the stop?” I very slowly and shakily nod, as I am still crying my eyes out. He then asks, “Do you want to get off?” I give a quiet “mhm” and nod once again, and he offers me his hand. I take it, he stands up, and he escorts me off the bus. He asks me questions such as where I was going next, if I was going to meet someone shortly, if I was going to transfer buses from there. He was very polite and waited for me to answer the entire time, and my friend (who I was going to be meeting there) showed up. He asked me if this was someone I knew, I said yes, and he said alright, have a good day. He then told me- and this is something stuck in my mind forever, so it is word for word- “If some guy EVER starts harassing you like that again, do exactly what you did there. Cry. Cry and scream and have a temper tantrum. Not only will it throw him off, but it will get others to notice. They might not interfere, they might, but you will have gotten their attention and if you happen to go missing the next day the search for you will be a hell of a lot easier because everyone in that location will have seen you screaming and crying with a guy now very awkward with his actions. They will know. That is what my daughter did, and three days after she went missing she was back in my arms. I pray for you and every other person like you who has this done. You stay safe now, okay?” And after I began blubbering again, I nodded and he left. So this is the second lesson for yall. If you can not have the courage to say no or make an excuse, cry. Let out those sobs and tears and cry your heart out. Because it is going to make people notice and make people aware. Reblogging for that second story. This might save a life. I just wanna note that bus drivers can be really amazing and good ones do look out for their riders. Also, as an additional tip (in case you cannot cry on command or such), you can say, “No, because you’re creepy/creeping me out” and if he persists or tries to laugh it off, say “I do not want to be touched” and look at one of the strangers/persons that is watching. It:1. Gives them a sense of urgency in the situation, as the eye contact is a way to make them feel as though you are personally asking for their help and it is now their obligation to help.2. Contains words so that if you’re in a public place but people aren’t necessarily watching, then they (as natural evesdroppers) can overhear the attention-grabbing words and then notice the situation. Note, this does NOT mean that they will come for help, but you might be able to look someone in the eye (as previously mentioned) or just get some people’s attention.3. It shows that you have fight in you. As with rapists, those who are physically aggressive (ie. these huggers) choose women they see as an easy target. The moment you show them you are going/willing to fight them, they are less likely to continue. Sadly, this is not always the case, but every little bit helps. Hopes this also helps, guys, and I’m so sad that this has to even be a post we need. Dudes who follow me: 1) reblog this 2) don’t be the creepy guy who asks random women for hugs 3) be aware of your friends or random creepy dudes and call them out if they act gross towards girls/womem Ok, I wasn’t going to comment about this, because there was no way of doing it without talking about a part of my life I really didn’t want to. But fuck that, there be young girls out there who need a hand. So I used to be hot when I was young. I mean, model hot, because I actually used to model. Even now, I’ve let myself go on purpose because I was tired of the harassment. But I fit a UK size 6 with a pert ass from volleyball and a cup c breast. As you can imagine, I couldn’t wear anything or go ANYWHERE without being harassed. I sometimes even happened in church. Anyway, I’m not a shrinking lily, and when I get angry enough I can do some crazy shit. So here are some of my coping mechanisms: 1) find a matronly looking lady, run up to her with ‘aunt may! I haven’t seen you in ages! ’ then whisper ‘please help he’s harassing me!’. 99.9 times out of 100, she will be scandalised and help you anyway even if she’s annoyed or in a hurry. If no older lady is available, find a younger one, or a nun, or a trans lady. We of the sisterhood know what it is to be harnessed, and I guarantee if you look frightened enough, they will help. 2) If you are out alone at night, and someone is following you, spot a house or apartment where the lights are on and knock, asking ‘mum’ or ‘dad’ or ‘john’ to let you in. Even if the people inside are annoyed, odds are they won’t turn you away, and you can phone someone to pick you up, or phone the police from a safe space 3) Make noise. Cry and scream loudly, call them out ‘i don’t know you and you are terrifying me! Please get away from me!’ if there are people around. Even if they don’t help directly for fear of their own safety, someone around you is calling security or 911. 4) speak a foreign language. If you know it, speak the language to them fast and incessantly, like you have just met someone you knew and you’re just giving the best performance rant of why your OTP is the best OTP. Make yourself ANNOYING. Think about what would be awkward and annoying to you and make it what you do to them. If you make them think YOU are something to get away from they will leave you in peace. Now beware, the following ones are the CRAZY ones and may not always work. But they are a valid last resort: 5) stare at them. Stare at them like you’re hungry and they are a hapless deer you’re going to tear to pieces. Like yours the girl from the ring emerging from the TV to kill them. Don’t smile, don’t change your expression. DON’T BLINK. Hold their state like you’re Wednesday Adams about to do unspeakable things to a spider, and they are the spider. Even the most courageous of stalkers balk at this, but if they don’t… 6) Use the Hannibal Lector. After staring at them for and extended period of time (imagine all the things that have made you scared, imagine you could get revenge on them for putting you here, that’s the thought you need to have), if they are getting closer to you, whisper something like ‘i would fry your liver in garlic’. Even the hardiest ones will be taken aback, but keep it up while making sure you don’t let the others hear you. Things like, occult star readings requiring blood, wondering whether he is the offering the spirits sent. If you’re on this site you’ve read some weird shit at least once. Tell him that. Tell him you would like him to meet your lord, Vlad the Impaler, who requires much blood to be appeased. Be a stereotypical ‘crazy bitch’ like they see in the movies. Believe it or not, this has worked for me twice. Above all, banish the notion that you have to be polite. They were impolite by approaching you. If you can, ignore them. If you are not alone, pointedly put headphones in your ear, and don’t make eye contact, wait for them to realise that ‘youre a bitch anyway’ and move away. If you are alone, evade and find places and ways to fix that as soon as POSSIBLE. And if all else fails, summon Satan. Something I have learned at work: Never underestimate the power of a good “EXCUSE me????” Legit. It makes people STOP IN THEIR TRACKS. This is the one I whip out when people start swearing at me over the headset and always, without fail, they stop what they’re saying, shocked. Go for offended, and go for loud. Not yelling loud, but giving-your-best-presentation loud. “EXCUSE me??? You approached me two minutes ago, I don’t even know your name, and you want WHAT? Creep.” For one, the presentation will shock them. For another, that indignant tone? EVERYONE AROUND YOU IS GOING TO WANT TO LISTEN TO THIS JUICY SHIT. Now the second key here is, DON’T LET HIM JADE (justify, argue, defend, explain). He smiles and goes “I just wanted–” FUCKING INTERRUPT HIM. Firmly. Irritably. “I heard what you wanted, and I’ve already declined once. Maybe you should go back to kindergarten where they teach you no means no.” Run right over the fucker. He’s not respecting your words, you don’t need to respect his. A further note: if you’re an iPhone user, you can use Siri to call 911. (I know Android has a similar function, but I don’t know what it is–play with your AI and find out.) If you’re in a secluded area, this works well; I used to walk home from work at 2am and had to do it twice. Make eye contact with your harasser, activate Siri, and loudly, firmly say “Siri, call 911.” Siri will immediately reply “calling emergency services.” (It actually takes five seconds to activate, but there’s a Call Now button if you need it.) Almost ALWAYS the person harassing you would rather take off than wait for you to get a dispatcher on the line. As they say on the podcast, My Favorite Murder: Fuck Politeness. This is NOT the kind of thing I usually post on here, but this is something that every female [or, every person honestly, harrassment isnt a one way street]needs to see. This is a fairly active blog, so I hope to see numerous reblogs. this. is. so. important. everyone should take some time to read this!!
Being Alone, Anaconda, and Android: nightmare
 some guy u dont kno that well: What, I don't get a hug?
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srsly tho this is absolutely a thing that dudes do all the f***ing time
like where if he knows a girl doesn’t necessarily want to give him a hug, he will trap her in this position in front of witnesses where she has 2 options- both of which are undesirable for her, while simultaneously desirable for him
if she doesn’t want to hug him, whatever she does, it will suck for her.
she can 1. say nah and be the fucking asshole in front of other ppl or 2. forsake her corporeal boundaries and allow unwanted intimate contact
it’s a f***ing trap

F***ing hate dudes forreal.

too many f***ing times ugh

Story time.One day I was on the MAX (basically a giant street car that goes all over the metro area) on my way to meet up with a few friends. I didn’t look at anyone, I didn’t speak to anyone, I just stood to the side on my phone making sure I wasn’t going to be late to my meeting.Out of no where, this guy comes up to me and starts to chat me up. Me, being who I am, am absolutely terrified to tell this guy to f*** off. He was at least half a foot taller than me, and was way too bulky for me to fight back. So I suck it up at humor him, say hello. Before introducing himself or asking me for my name, he asks me out on a date. Not wanting to piss him off I try to make light of the situation and I laugh, telling him that my boyfriend wouldn’t like the idea, but thank you for the offer. He just shrugs and says, “He doesn’t need to know.”At this point I’m scared out of my mind. There’s this guy who, after seeing me run two blocks to catch the train, comes up to me and has made it perfectly clear that he wasn’t going to leave without getting something out of me.I deny him a second time, saying, “I don’t even know you’re name. We’re strangers, I don’t know you.” He finally introduces himself and asks me for my phone number. I tell him I don’t give my number out to people I’ve just met and he says, “Fine, but at least take mine so we can meet up later.” So he watches me plug his number into my phone (which I deleted as soon as I knew I was safe and away from him) as we’re pulling up to my stop. I tell him I need to leave and switch trains and he tells me, “Oh, I’ll wait with you. I don’t have any plans, so I’m in no rush.” It’s important to note what at this point he had previously told me that he was late to a job interview, but he has all the time in the world because he still hasn’t gotten what he wanted from me; a yes.I get off of the train and he follows me, and waits at the platform with me for over ten minutes until my train arrives, asking me all sorts of personal questions about where I live and where I was going that day. As soon as the train pulls up he grabs for me and says, “Do I at least get a hug before you go?”I was terrified. I was embarrassed. This dude, who before even asking me for my name asks me out on a date and then continues to harass me after I tell him I have a boyfriend, asks me for a hug only fifteen minutes after meeting. People around us were staring at me, as if I was being rude for denying him, and every inch of me was mortified. I wanted to run, but I felt like if I had done that he would have chased after me and things would have gotten worse. So I did, and he squeezed me so tight I felt like I was going to burst. It took me a good ten seconds to get him to let go and I ran to the train car just as the doors were closing. He was trying to get me to miss my train so I would have to wait with him even longer. I would have been stuck there for over a half an hour until the next train came by, and the platform (aside from the few buses coming by) was now COMPLETELY EMPTY. He knew EXACTLY what he was doing and he knew EXACTLY how to get me alone with him.People, if you are in a situation like this do not feel obligated to give in. If someone is making you uncomfortable and asks to touch you in any way, YOU DO NOT HAVE TO SAY YES. Make excuses, be blunt, just straight up say ‘no’. If possible, go to someone else near by who you think can help you and ask them to help you. It’s important for guys to learn that they can’t get what they want just by asking over and over again.I got lucky. But not everyone does. Please, everyone, Be Safe.

SECOND STORY TIME
So I was on the transit bus alone one time. This was my first time riding, and so already I was PETRIFIED. I sit down, pull out my ipod, and begin to play some games. This guy sits down next to me, and begins trying to have a conversation. I don’t really respond, I don’t even look at him, just give half-hearted “mhm”s and “oh”s, as I don’t want to be rude if he was just striking up a friendly conversation. He then asks me on a date.
Now, as I stated before, I already was absolutely petrified. My heart stopped and I didn’t know how to answer. So I just didn’t. He didn’t let up and I could feel his eyes on me. I quietly stammer out a “no thanks” and my stop HAPPENS to be coming up, so I pull the string thing to let the driver know I want to stop there, and once we stop and the doors open I get up and he asks me, “Well, can I at least have a hug before you go if you won’t go on a date with me?” 
This makes me break. There are now people staring, as we are the only people standing up and not getting off… So I just start crying. Hell, I am bawling almost instantly. He looks so fucking freaked out and people are now getting up to come over and comfort me/question him. I don’t stop crying, and he keeps trying to comfort me by touching me, and people are yelling at him for that. 
AND THEN. AND. FUCKING. THEN. THE GOD DAMN BUS DRIVER. A VERY EASILY 6 FOOT BURLY MAN. COMES OVER TO US. PULLS THE GUY AWAY. AND KNEELS DOWN. HE THEN ASKS, IN THE MOST CALM VOICE, “Did you request the stop?” I very slowly and shakily nod, as I am still crying my eyes out. He then asks, “Do you want to get off?” I give a quiet “mhm” and nod once again, and he offers me his hand. I take it, he stands up, and he escorts me off the bus. He asks me questions such as where I was going next, if I was going to meet someone shortly, if I was going to transfer buses from there. He was very polite and waited for me to answer the entire time, and my friend (who I was going to be meeting there) showed up. He asked me if this was someone I knew, I said yes, and he said alright, have a good day. He then told me- and this is something stuck in my mind forever, so it is word for word-
“If some guy EVER starts harassing you like that again, do exactly what you did there. Cry. Cry and scream and have a temper tantrum. Not only will it throw him off, but it will get others to notice. They might not interfere, they might, but you will have gotten their attention and if you happen to go missing the next day the search for you will be a hell of a lot easier because everyone in that location will have seen you screaming and crying with a guy now very awkward with his actions. They will know. That is what my daughter did, and three days after she went missing she was back in my arms. I pray for you and every other person like you who has this done. You stay safe now, okay?” And after I began blubbering again, I nodded and he left.
So this is the second lesson for yall. If you can not have the courage to say no or make an excuse, cry. Let out those sobs and tears and cry your heart out. Because it is going to make people notice and make people aware.

Reblogging for that second story. This might save a life.

I just wanna note that bus drivers can be really amazing and good ones do look out for their riders.

Also, as an additional tip (in case you cannot cry on command or such), you can say, “No, because you’re creepy/creeping me out” and if he persists or tries to laugh it off, say “I do not want to be touched” and look at one of the strangers/persons that is watching.
It:1. Gives them a sense of urgency in the situation, as the eye contact is a way to make them feel as though you are personally asking for their help and it is now their obligation to help.2. Contains words so that if you’re in a public place but people aren’t necessarily watching, then they (as natural evesdroppers) can overhear the attention-grabbing words and then notice the situation. Note, this does NOT mean that they will come for help, but you might be able to look someone in the eye (as previously mentioned) or just get some people’s attention.3. It shows that you have fight in you. As with rapists, those who are physically aggressive (ie. these huggers) choose women they see as an easy target. The moment you show them you are going/willing to fight them, they are less likely to continue. Sadly, this is not always the case, but every little bit helps.
Hopes this also helps, guys, and I’m so sad that this has to even be a post we need.


Dudes who follow me: 1) reblog this 2) don’t be the creepy guy who asks random women for hugs 3) be aware of your friends or random creepy dudes and call them out if they act gross towards girls/womem

Ok, I wasn’t going to comment about this, because there was no way of doing it without talking about a part of my life I really didn’t want to. But fuck that, there be young girls out there who need a hand.
So I used to be hot when I was young. I mean, model hot, because I actually used to model. Even now, I’ve let myself go on purpose because I was tired of the harassment. But I fit a UK size 6 with a pert ass from volleyball and a cup c breast. As you can imagine, I couldn’t wear anything or go ANYWHERE without being harassed. I sometimes even happened in church.
Anyway, I’m not a shrinking lily, and when I get angry enough I can do some crazy shit. So here are some of my coping mechanisms:
1) find a matronly looking lady, run up to her with ‘aunt may! I haven’t seen you in ages! ’ then whisper ‘please help he’s harassing me!’. 99.9 times out of 100, she will be scandalised and help you anyway even if she’s annoyed or in a hurry. If no older lady is available, find a younger one, or a nun, or a trans lady. We of the sisterhood know what it is to be harnessed, and I guarantee if you look frightened enough, they will help.
2) If you are out alone at night, and someone is following you, spot a house or apartment where the lights are on and knock, asking ‘mum’ or ‘dad’ or ‘john’ to let you in. Even if the people inside are annoyed, odds are they won’t turn you away, and you can phone someone to pick you up, or phone the police from a safe space
3) Make noise. Cry and scream loudly, call them out ‘i don’t know you and you are terrifying me! Please get away from me!’ if there are people around. Even if they don’t help directly for fear of their own safety, someone around you is calling security or 911.
4) speak a foreign language. If you know it, speak the language to them fast and incessantly, like you have just met someone you knew and you’re just giving the best performance rant of why your OTP is the best OTP. Make yourself ANNOYING. Think about what would be awkward and annoying to you and make it what you do to them. If you make them think YOU are something to get away from they will leave you in peace.
Now beware, the following ones are the CRAZY ones and may not always work. But they are a valid last resort:
5) stare at them. Stare at them like you’re hungry and they are a hapless deer you’re going to tear to pieces. Like yours the girl from the ring emerging from the TV to kill them. Don’t smile, don’t change your expression. DON’T BLINK. Hold their state like you’re Wednesday Adams about to do unspeakable things to a spider, and they are the spider. Even the most courageous of stalkers balk at this, but if they don’t…
6) Use the Hannibal Lector. After staring at them for and extended period of time (imagine all the things that have made you scared, imagine you could get revenge on them for putting you here, that’s the thought you need to have), if they are getting closer to you, whisper something like ‘i would fry your liver in garlic’. Even the hardiest ones will be taken aback, but keep it up while making sure you don’t let the others hear you. Things like, occult star readings requiring blood, wondering whether he is the offering the spirits sent. If you’re on this site you’ve read some weird shit at least once. Tell him that. Tell him you would like him to meet your lord, Vlad the Impaler, who requires much blood to be appeased. Be a stereotypical ‘crazy bitch’ like they see in the movies. Believe it or not, this has worked for me twice.
Above all, banish the notion that you have to be polite.
They were impolite by approaching you. If you can, ignore them. If you are not alone, pointedly put headphones in your ear, and don’t make eye contact, wait for them to realise that ‘youre a bitch anyway’ and move away. If you are alone, evade and find places and ways to fix that as soon as POSSIBLE.
And if all else fails, summon Satan.


Something I have learned at work:
Never underestimate the power of a good “EXCUSE me????”
Legit. It makes people STOP IN THEIR TRACKS. This is the one I whip out when people start swearing at me over the headset and always, without fail, they stop what they’re saying, shocked.
Go for offended, and go for loud. Not yelling loud, but giving-your-best-presentation loud. “EXCUSE me??? You approached me two minutes ago, I don’t even know your name, and you want WHAT? Creep.”
For one, the presentation will shock them. For another, that indignant tone? EVERYONE AROUND YOU IS GOING TO WANT TO LISTEN TO THIS JUICY SHIT.
Now the second key here is, DON’T LET HIM JADE (justify, argue, defend, explain). He smiles and goes “I just wanted–” FUCKING INTERRUPT HIM. Firmly. Irritably. “I heard what you wanted, and I’ve already declined once. Maybe you should go back to kindergarten where they teach you no means no.” Run right over the fucker. He’s not respecting your words, you don’t need to respect his.
A further note: if you’re an iPhone user, you can use Siri to call 911. (I know Android has a similar function, but I don’t know what it is–play with your AI and find out.) If you’re in a secluded area, this works well; I used to walk home from work at 2am and had to do it twice. Make eye contact with your harasser, activate Siri, and loudly, firmly say “Siri, call 911.” Siri will immediately reply “calling emergency services.” (It actually takes five seconds to activate, but there’s a Call Now button if you need it.) Almost ALWAYS the person harassing you would rather take off than wait for you to get a dispatcher on the line.

As they say on the podcast, My Favorite Murder:
Fuck Politeness.


This is NOT the kind of thing I usually post on here, but this is something that every female [or, every person honestly, harrassment isnt a one way street]needs to see. This is a fairly active blog, so I hope to see numerous reblogs.


this. is. so. important. everyone should take some time to read this!!

yasminstudin: smudging-sage: alleiradayne: prismatic-bell: midoriko-sama: oxfordcommaforever: han-syolo-shot-first: bubblegumsith: c...

Being Alone, Animals, and Confidence: ugly fuckthekxng gokishi man you know what I want? a superhero series where they have powers that 1 00% contradict their personalities. a fishermans daughter who lives by the sea, swims every day, learns that she can control fire. a boy who's mortified of heights but realizes he can use antigravity and hates it. someone who was bitten by a dog as a child, suffers extreme fear around animals, can now communicate with them. they're all disgusted by their powers. uss-assbutt yes good but what about the character development as they learn to cope with their powers and overcome their fears the pyrokinetic swimmer wading out into the ocean armed with waterproof matches to practice so nothing goes wrong, building her confidence with the sea as her safety net, being so proud when she figures out how to heat the air just enough that she dries off instantly after swimming the boy slowly overcoming his fear of heights, realizing that he can catch himself if he ever falls, standing swaying on top of playground sets and closing his eyes as he tries to safely hover down (and not fall on his face again) the girl's terror lessening as the previously terrifying cacophony of the dogs at the park turns into a chorus of "ball! ball! throw me the ball!" "it's me! I'm the good boy!" and "squir- re!!" and learning to communicate back, have them listen to her, learning how to calm down a dog who's overexcited to the point of biting, discovering that the scary dog down the street is just home alone a lot and lonely, staring her fear in the face and learning its secrets because being disgusted with their powers is interesting, but I want to see people learning to love even the scary and contradictory parts of themselves Source: gokishi 488,193 notes id love a plot like that
Being Alone, Animals, and Confidence: ugly
 fuckthekxng
 gokishi
 man you know what I want? a superhero
 series where they have powers that 1 00%
 contradict their personalities. a fishermans
 daughter who lives by the sea, swims every
 day, learns that she can control fire. a boy
 who's mortified of heights but realizes he
 can use antigravity and hates it. someone
 who was bitten by a dog as a child, suffers
 extreme fear around animals, can now
 communicate with them. they're all disgusted
 by their powers.
 uss-assbutt
 yes good but what about the character
 development as they learn to cope with their
 powers and overcome their fears
 the pyrokinetic swimmer wading out into the
 ocean armed with waterproof matches to
 practice so nothing goes wrong, building her
 confidence with the sea as her safety net,
 being so proud when she figures out how to
 heat the air just enough that she dries off
 instantly after swimming
 the boy slowly overcoming his fear of heights,
 realizing that he can catch himself if he ever
 falls, standing swaying on top of playground
 sets and closing his eyes as he tries to safely
 hover down (and not fall on his face again)
 the girl's terror lessening as the previously
 terrifying cacophony of the dogs at the park
 turns into a chorus of "ball! ball! throw me the
 ball!" "it's me! I'm the good boy!" and "squir-
 re!!" and learning to communicate back, have
 them listen to her, learning how to calm down
 a dog who's overexcited to the point of biting,
 discovering that the scary dog down the street
 is just home alone a lot and lonely, staring her
 fear in the face and learning its secrets
 because being disgusted with their powers is
 interesting, but I want to see people learning
 to love even the scary and contradictory parts
 of themselves
 Source: gokishi
 488,193 notes
id love a plot like that

id love a plot like that

Being Alone, Animals, and Confidence: ugly fuckthekxng gokishi man you know what I want? a superhero series where they have powers that 1 00% contradict their personalities. a fishermans daughter who lives by the sea, swims every day, learns that she can control fire. a boy who's mortified of heights but realizes he can use antigravity and hates it. someone who was bitten by a dog as a child, suffers extreme fear around animals, can now communicate with them. they're all disgusted by their powers. uss-assbutt yes good but what about the character development as they learn to cope with their powers and overcome their fears the pyrokinetic swimmer wading out into the ocean armed with waterproof matches to practice so nothing goes wrong, building her confidence with the sea as her safety net, being so proud when she figures out how to heat the air just enough that she dries off instantly after swimming the boy slowly overcoming his fear of heights, realizing that he can catch himself if he ever falls, standing swaying on top of playground sets and closing his eyes as he tries to safely hover down (and not fall on his face again) the girl's terror lessening as the previously terrifying cacophony of the dogs at the park turns into a chorus of "ball! ball! throw me the ball!" "it's me! I'm the good boy!" and "squir- re!!" and learning to communicate back, have them listen to her, learning how to calm down a dog who's overexcited to the point of biting, discovering that the scary dog down the street is just home alone a lot and lonely, staring her fear in the face and learning its secrets because being disgusted with their powers is interesting, but I want to see people learning to love even the scary and contradictory parts of themselves Source: gokishi 488,193 notes id love a plot like that
Being Alone, Animals, and Confidence: ugly
 fuckthekxng
 gokishi
 man you know what I want? a superhero
 series where they have powers that 1 00%
 contradict their personalities. a fishermans
 daughter who lives by the sea, swims every
 day, learns that she can control fire. a boy
 who's mortified of heights but realizes he
 can use antigravity and hates it. someone
 who was bitten by a dog as a child, suffers
 extreme fear around animals, can now
 communicate with them. they're all disgusted
 by their powers.
 uss-assbutt
 yes good but what about the character
 development as they learn to cope with their
 powers and overcome their fears
 the pyrokinetic swimmer wading out into the
 ocean armed with waterproof matches to
 practice so nothing goes wrong, building her
 confidence with the sea as her safety net,
 being so proud when she figures out how to
 heat the air just enough that she dries off
 instantly after swimming
 the boy slowly overcoming his fear of heights,
 realizing that he can catch himself if he ever
 falls, standing swaying on top of playground
 sets and closing his eyes as he tries to safely
 hover down (and not fall on his face again)
 the girl's terror lessening as the previously
 terrifying cacophony of the dogs at the park
 turns into a chorus of "ball! ball! throw me the
 ball!" "it's me! I'm the good boy!" and "squir-
 re!!" and learning to communicate back, have
 them listen to her, learning how to calm down
 a dog who's overexcited to the point of biting,
 discovering that the scary dog down the street
 is just home alone a lot and lonely, staring her
 fear in the face and learning its secrets
 because being disgusted with their powers is
 interesting, but I want to see people learning
 to love even the scary and contradictory parts
 of themselves
 Source: gokishi
 488,193 notes
id love a plot like that

id love a plot like that

Christmas, Crying, and Energy: GSPAN2 <p><a href="http://kingjaffejoffer.tumblr.com/post/168117664094/biomerge-medranochav-bussykween" class="tumblr_blog" target="_blank">kingjaffejoffer</a>:</p> <blockquote><p><a href="http://biomerge.tumblr.com/post/168115224196/medranochav-bussykween-dolcedonn" class="tumblr_blog" target="_blank">biomerge</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a href="http://medranochav.tumblr.com/post/168100258965/bussykween-dolcedonn-nasfera2-patti" class="tumblr_blog" target="_blank">medranochav</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a href="https://bussykween.tumblr.com/post/168098792874/dolcedonn-nasfera2-patti-labelles-live" class="tumblr_blog" target="_blank">bussykween</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a href="https://dolcedonn.tumblr.com/post/168088677744/nasfera2-patti-labelles-live-performance-of" class="tumblr_blog" target="_blank">dolcedonn</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a href="http://nasfera2.tumblr.com/post/168088505694/patti-labelles-live-performance-of-this" class="tumblr_blog" target="_blank">nasfera2</a>:</p> <blockquote><p> Patti LaBelle’s live performance of “This Christmas” will never not be funny 😂 <br/></p></blockquote> <p>thanks for bringing this back lmfappoposejfd</p> </blockquote> <p>LEMME SEE THAT CARDIGAN!</p> </blockquote> <p>I’M CRYING </p> </blockquote> <p>this has the same energy as an SNL skit </p> </blockquote> <p>This is my first time seeing this and im mortified and dying laughing at the same time</p></blockquote>
Christmas, Crying, and Energy: GSPAN2
<p><a href="http://kingjaffejoffer.tumblr.com/post/168117664094/biomerge-medranochav-bussykween" class="tumblr_blog" target="_blank">kingjaffejoffer</a>:</p>

<blockquote><p><a href="http://biomerge.tumblr.com/post/168115224196/medranochav-bussykween-dolcedonn" class="tumblr_blog" target="_blank">biomerge</a>:</p>
<blockquote>
<p><a href="http://medranochav.tumblr.com/post/168100258965/bussykween-dolcedonn-nasfera2-patti" class="tumblr_blog" target="_blank">medranochav</a>:</p>
<blockquote>
<p><a href="https://bussykween.tumblr.com/post/168098792874/dolcedonn-nasfera2-patti-labelles-live" class="tumblr_blog" target="_blank">bussykween</a>:</p>
<blockquote>
<p><a href="https://dolcedonn.tumblr.com/post/168088677744/nasfera2-patti-labelles-live-performance-of" class="tumblr_blog" target="_blank">dolcedonn</a>:</p>
<blockquote>
<p><a href="http://nasfera2.tumblr.com/post/168088505694/patti-labelles-live-performance-of-this" class="tumblr_blog" target="_blank">nasfera2</a>:</p>
<blockquote><p>

Patti LaBelle’s live performance of “This Christmas” will never not be funny 😂 

<br/></p></blockquote>
<p>thanks for bringing this back lmfappoposejfd</p>
</blockquote>

<p>LEMME SEE THAT CARDIGAN!</p>
</blockquote>
<p>I’M CRYING </p>
</blockquote>

<p>this has the same energy as an SNL skit </p>
</blockquote>
<p>This is my first time seeing this and im mortified and dying laughing at the same time</p></blockquote>

kingjaffejoffer: biomerge: medranochav: bussykween: dolcedonn: nasfera2: Patti LaBelle’s live performance of “This Christmas” will ne...

Anaconda, Ass, and Concussion: this-isnt-my-bra Once my friend Henry was accused of wearing wireless headphones by a substitute so she said for him to hand them over so he took them off and handed them to her. Then later on she asked him a question and he didn't respond so she said it louder and he still didn't respond. She asked why he was not responding and he said cant understand you ma am, you took my hearing aids." lolodapsycho HOLY SHIT mamoru one time we had a sub that was handing back papers and called my name. I asked if someone could grab it for me and she started mocking me for not even standing up. taunting me asking why I was not walking up to the front to get the paper myself my classmates went dead silent and after the sub's laughter ended someone informed her that the wheelchair parked nearby belonged to me silver-rayn123 I had a sub in English once, on presentation day. And everyone goes up and does their thing, and then its my turn. The whole time im stuttering and mixing up my words, having to stop and re-say my sentences. The rest of the class is used to this and claps. However, by the time its over, the teacher is 100% done Starts saying horrible thing about how im going to have to get over my 'fear of public speaking' and how she's heard 8 year olds give better presentations (plus worse things but I don't really member them). By then im in tears and orn the brink of a panic attack, and then she starts telling me off for crying The rest of the class is horrified. Then this boy stands up. He never been my friend and we never really got along, but he'd never bullied me. He told her in a pissed off, cold voice that in freshmen year I got a concussion and that I never really recovered from it, so all that was medical related and l couldn't help it. Then he starts telling her off and the rest of the class joins him The teacher is mortified and tries to cover her ass, but the whole class walked out and that boy took me by the shoulders and we all walked to the principles office and told him what had happened. Lets just say she isn't teaching anymore Also, turns out that boy had a sister like me, who couldn't really speak. We've been best friends for 8 years and i'll be his best woman at his wedding next year. The moral is that Teachers, even subs, and adults shouldn't scold kids before knowing the whole story, because shit like that can fuck up kids self-esteem for the rest of their life Subs being the worst
Anaconda, Ass, and Concussion: this-isnt-my-bra
 Once my friend Henry was accused of wearing wireless headphones by a
 substitute so she said for him to hand them over so he took them off and
 handed them to her. Then later on she asked him a question and he didn't
 respond so she said it louder and he still didn't respond. She asked why he
 was not responding and he said cant understand you ma am, you took my
 hearing aids."
 lolodapsycho
 HOLY SHIT
 mamoru
 one time we had a sub that was handing back papers and called my name. I
 asked if someone could grab it for me and she started mocking me for not
 even standing up. taunting me asking why I was not walking up to the front to
 get the paper myself
 my classmates went dead silent and after the sub's laughter ended someone
 informed her that the wheelchair parked nearby belonged to me
 silver-rayn123
 I had a sub in English once, on presentation day. And everyone goes up and
 does their thing, and then its my turn. The whole time im stuttering and mixing
 up my words, having to stop and re-say my sentences. The rest of the class is
 used to this and claps. However, by the time its over, the teacher is 100%
 done
 Starts saying horrible thing about how im going to have to get over my 'fear of
 public speaking' and how she's heard 8 year olds give better presentations
 (plus worse things but I don't really member them). By then im in tears and orn
 the brink of a panic attack, and then she starts telling me off for crying
 The rest of the class is horrified. Then this boy stands up. He never been my
 friend and we never really got along, but he'd never bullied me. He told her in
 a pissed off, cold voice that in freshmen year I got a concussion and that I
 never really recovered from it, so all that was medical related and l couldn't
 help it. Then he starts telling her off and the rest of the class joins him
 The teacher is mortified and tries to cover her ass, but the whole class walked
 out and that boy took me by the shoulders and we all walked to the principles
 office and told him what had happened. Lets just say she isn't teaching
 anymore
 Also, turns out that boy had a sister like me, who couldn't really speak. We've
 been best friends for 8 years and i'll be his best woman at his wedding next
 year.
 The moral is that Teachers, even subs, and adults shouldn't scold kids before
 knowing the whole story, because shit like that can fuck up kids self-esteem
 for the rest of their life
Subs being the worst

Subs being the worst

Apparently, Bitch, and Children: An Incomplete List of Notable Peoplel Delivered Pizza To... tybaar It's coming up on a year now since I got my curent job as a pizza delivery girl, and I thought this would be a good time to delve into the lttle ever- expanding WTFPIZZA note I keep on my cell that helps me remember some of my more, uh -interesting deliveries So without further ado and in no particular order, here's some pizza customers who left a lasting impression on me thus far A bearded man who answered the door and periodically spat blood into a crusted Harley-Davidson coffee mug while counting out his cash. A woman who slipped me a business card (in ieu of tip) for a laser tatto0 removal clinic, explaining In case you want to bring your mutilated skin back to how God intended it to be. At least three Batmans so far, but only one who did the voice. - An elderly Spanish woman who meekly presented me with a (rather classy) pead-handled .32 snub nosed revolver and asked if I knew how to load it (I do) and also, #1 could load it for her (I didnt). -A group of EMTs hanging out in the back of an ambulance at a recently extinguished (but still smouldering) house fire. -A man with a thick Alabama accent who admonished me for standing in front of his mailbox while I waited for him to answer the door. He then explained how this was a federal offense because I was "obstructing the mal system and demanded my social security number so he could report me to the proper authorties A group of young teenage girls (like 14-16) who begged me to buy a case of Bud Light (ew why) and bring it back to them. - A hotel room full of badass middie-aged women all dressed as Professor McGonagall from the Hamy Potter films, who were also completely wasted on Jello shots. They kept encouraging me to stay and party with them. A 20-something dude who answered the door with an unsheathed katana dangling through a belt loop on his jeans. Multiple instances of people asking if# I would sell them pot. (bitch get your own dealer sheesh) A guy who slipped a twenty directly into my shirt because I apparently was the "spitting image" of his deceased daughter -A woman who admonished me for driving a Mazda, and wrote "get a real car in the tip portion of my credit receipt. A very drunk dude who gave me his iPhone and had me take a bunch of Myspace-esque pictures of the both of us. He did the duck lips thing in every shot Multiple prank deliveries joke's on you motherfucker, I get paid for the gas AND I eat the pizzas you ordered) - An elderty man who wrote FUCK OFF as his signature on a credit receipt - A thirty-something guy who begged to get his order for free because he works so hard. He visibly teared up and sniffled when I told him I couldnt do anything. A dudebro wearing a bath robe and socks+sandals (indoors) who straight up wordlessly yanked the pizzas out of my hands without paying and shut the door. Multiple knockings were of no avail -A woman who angrily demanded to see my ID because she refused to believe my claims that I'm female. She proceeded to snatch my drivers icense out of my hand, run back into her house and show it to her children while pointing back at me. A kid no older than 14 who desperately tried to convince me to play WoW on the free custom server he was playing on. (But it has double - A guy who spent the entire time I was there digging a (impressively large) booger out of his nose. He proceeded to smear it on, thankfully, HIS copy of the receipt. An on-duty cop who flagged me down by intercepting me on the road before I got to the police station and pulling me over to get his pizza. -A drill instructor looking-guy who filled out his entire credit card receipt, specifically wrote 0.00 in the tip portion, then proceeded to write out a check for seventy-eight cents and handed it to me. It said pizza tip" in the For section A furious lady who yelled at me for a solid five minutes (1 kept track) al about how long it took for her delivery to get to her. She then tipped me an extra ten bucks on a six dolar order. I dunno. - An incredibly stoned teenager trying and failing to look sober. When I complimented his Adventure Time wallet (which was super cute) and asked where he got it, he immediately looked temified, sat down on the floor and muttered 1... I don't know... - Obligatory naked man with unimpressive penis - A chick at a house party who answered the door and immediately tuned to vomit into her mailbox A surly Korean mom with an amazing shoulder tattoo of a baby giving birth to a fullgrown woman - A man who lived in one of those mini-mansions inside a gated community, who sported a seemingly massive collection of what appeared to be solid glass spheres of varying size and color. I only got a quick glance in his house but there had to be hundreds of them in display racks, tables, shelves- everywhere. - A group of 20-something guys who challenged me to sing the original Pokemon theme song, which I did. And perfectly, I may add. A completely iced-out musclebound gangster kid who was blaring Regina Spektor so loud and with so much bass I actually couldnt hear anything he was saying. An elderty guy who deadpan asked me if I knew anyone who could score him holowpoint bulets. - An adorable older lesbian couple who were mortified that they didnt have any extra money for a tip, so they gave me a big sack of pistachios nstead. It took me three weeks to finish the bag this was so worth reading Souroe: tybaar story time his is. 219,895 notes realy cool actualy Pizza for Strange People
Apparently, Bitch, and Children: An Incomplete List of Notable Peoplel Delivered Pizza To...
 tybaar
 It's coming up on a year now since I got my curent job as a pizza delivery
 girl, and I thought this would be a good time to delve into the lttle ever-
 expanding WTFPIZZA note I keep on my cell that helps me remember
 some of my more, uh -interesting deliveries
 So without further ado and in no particular order, here's some pizza
 customers who left a lasting impression on me thus far
 A bearded man who answered the door and periodically spat blood into
 a crusted Harley-Davidson coffee mug while counting out his cash.
 A woman who slipped me a business card (in ieu of tip) for a laser tatto0
 removal clinic, explaining In case you want to bring your mutilated skin
 back to how God intended it to be.
 At least three Batmans so far, but only one who did the voice.
 - An elderly Spanish woman who meekly presented me with a (rather
 classy) pead-handled .32 snub nosed revolver and asked if I knew how to
 load it (I do) and also, #1 could load it for her (I didnt).
 -A group of EMTs hanging out in the back of an ambulance at a recently
 extinguished (but still smouldering) house fire.
 -A man with a thick Alabama accent who admonished me for standing in
 front of his mailbox while I waited for him to answer the door. He then
 explained how this was a federal offense because I was "obstructing the
 mal system and demanded my social security number so he could report
 me to the proper authorties
 A group of young teenage girls (like 14-16) who begged me to buy a
 case of Bud Light (ew why) and bring it back to them.
 - A hotel room full of badass middie-aged women all dressed as Professor
 McGonagall from the Hamy Potter films, who were also completely wasted
 on Jello shots. They kept encouraging me to stay and party with them.
 A 20-something dude who answered the door with an unsheathed
 katana dangling through a belt loop on his jeans.
 Multiple instances of people asking if# I would sell them pot. (bitch get
 your own dealer sheesh)
 A guy who slipped a twenty directly into my shirt because I apparently
 was the "spitting image" of his deceased daughter
 -A woman who admonished me for driving a Mazda, and wrote "get a
 real car in the tip portion of my credit receipt.
 A very drunk dude who gave me his iPhone and had me take a bunch of
 Myspace-esque pictures of the both of us. He did the duck lips thing in
 every shot
 Multiple prank deliveries joke's on you motherfucker, I get paid for the
 gas AND I eat the pizzas you ordered)
 - An elderty man who wrote FUCK OFF as his signature on a credit
 receipt
 - A thirty-something guy who begged to get his order for free because he
 works so hard. He visibly teared up and sniffled when I told him I
 couldnt do anything.
 A dudebro wearing a bath robe and socks+sandals (indoors) who
 straight up wordlessly yanked the pizzas out of my hands without paying
 and shut the door. Multiple knockings were of no avail
 -A woman who angrily demanded to see my ID because she refused to
 believe my claims that I'm female. She proceeded to snatch my drivers
 icense out of my hand, run back into her house and show it to her
 children while pointing back at me.
 A kid no older than 14 who desperately tried to convince me to play
 WoW on the free custom server he was playing on. (But it has double
 - A guy who spent the entire time I was there digging a (impressively
 large) booger out of his nose. He proceeded to smear it on, thankfully,
 HIS copy of the receipt.
 An on-duty cop who flagged me down by intercepting me on the road
 before I got to the police station and pulling me over to get his pizza.
 -A drill instructor looking-guy who filled out his entire credit card receipt,
 specifically wrote 0.00 in the tip portion, then proceeded to write out a
 check for seventy-eight cents and handed it to me. It said pizza tip" in the
 For section
 A furious lady who yelled at me for a solid five minutes (1 kept track) al
 about how long it took for her delivery to get to her. She then tipped me
 an extra ten bucks on a six dolar order. I dunno.
 - An incredibly stoned teenager trying and failing to look sober. When I
 complimented his Adventure Time wallet (which was super cute) and
 asked where he got it, he immediately looked temified, sat down on the
 floor and muttered 1... I don't know...
 - Obligatory naked man with unimpressive penis
 - A chick at a house party who answered the door and immediately tuned
 to vomit into her mailbox
 A surly Korean mom with an amazing shoulder tattoo of a baby giving
 birth to a fullgrown woman
 - A man who lived in one of those mini-mansions inside a gated
 community, who sported a seemingly massive collection of what
 appeared to be solid glass spheres of varying size and color. I only got a
 quick glance in his house but there had to be hundreds of them in display
 racks, tables, shelves- everywhere.
 - A group of 20-something guys who challenged me to sing the original
 Pokemon theme song, which I did. And perfectly, I may add.
 A completely iced-out musclebound gangster kid who was blaring
 Regina Spektor so loud and with so much bass I actually couldnt hear
 anything he was saying.
 An elderty guy who deadpan asked me if I knew anyone who could
 score him holowpoint bulets.
 - An adorable older lesbian couple who were mortified that they didnt
 have any extra money for a tip, so they gave me a big sack of pistachios
 nstead. It took me three weeks to finish the bag
 this was so worth reading
 Souroe: tybaar story time his is.
 219,895 notes
 realy cool actualy
Pizza for Strange People

Pizza for Strange People