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Being Alone, American Horror Story, and Blessed: I was starving my Sim and he sneakily called up for a pizza. When it was delivered I made him throw it in the garbage. Then he cried Breddit My teenage son decided waking up to his alarm and getting on the school bus was unimportant. So l locked him in a 1x1 room until he peed himself and died in the puddle. reddit Every time I play, I start with a "painting goblin." I make him morbidly obese with green skin. I make sure he has the following traits: likes to be alone, loves art, hates the outdoors. The first thing I do once l have enough money is build a small room in the basement, send him down there, and remove the stairs. I set him up in a tiny little area with only an easel, toilet, refrigerator, bed, shower, and trashcan. All he does all day is paint. That's it. He paints and paints and paints and paints. Eventually, his paintings become very good and worth a lot of money. Every few minutes I go downstairs and sel whatever painting he has finished, and then I return to playing the game. My family always ends up feeling very blessed because of their fortune, and they never find out about the horrible secret living beneath their home. reddit So, in my most recent Sims playthrough, I found this girl that I really wanted my Sim to marry. Problem is she already had a husband, so rather than just doing the (relatively) normal thing and convincing her to break up with him, I instead became best friends with her husband, convinced him to move in with me, and then drowned him in a pool so l could marry his wife. Then I moved in with his wife (who lived in a HUGE mansion) and killed the rest of her family because l didn't feel like taking care of the other Sims that she lived with but I still wanted the house. reddit One time l killed a Sim by drowning. Then I made everyone show up to his funeral in swimwear. reddit franklycats: American Horror Story: Sims
Being Alone, American Horror Story, and Blessed: I was starving my Sim and he sneakily called up for
 a pizza. When it was delivered I made him throw it
 in the garbage. Then he cried
 Breddit

 My teenage son decided waking up to his alarm and
 getting on the school bus was unimportant. So l
 locked him in a 1x1 room until he peed himself and
 died in the puddle.
 reddit

 Every time I play, I start with a "painting goblin." I
 make him morbidly obese with green skin. I make
 sure he has the following traits: likes to be alone,
 loves art, hates the outdoors. The first thing I do
 once l have enough money is build a small room in
 the basement, send him down there, and remove
 the stairs. I set him up in a tiny little area with only
 an easel, toilet, refrigerator, bed, shower, and
 trashcan. All he does all day is paint. That's it. He
 paints and paints and paints and paints. Eventually,
 his paintings become very good and worth a lot of
 money. Every few minutes I go downstairs and sel
 whatever painting he has finished, and then I return
 to playing the game.
 My family always ends up feeling very blessed
 because of their fortune, and they never find out
 about the horrible secret living beneath their
 home.
 reddit

 So, in my most recent Sims playthrough, I found this
 girl that I really wanted my Sim to marry. Problem
 is she already had a husband, so rather than just
 doing the (relatively) normal thing and convincing
 her to break up with him, I instead became best
 friends with her husband, convinced him to move in
 with me, and then drowned him in a pool so l could
 marry his wife.
 Then I moved in with his wife (who lived in a HUGE
 mansion) and killed the rest of her family because l
 didn't feel like taking care of the other Sims that
 she lived with but I still wanted the house.
 reddit

 One time l killed a Sim by drowning. Then I made
 everyone show up to his funeral in swimwear.
 reddit
franklycats:
American Horror Story: Sims

franklycats: American Horror Story: Sims

America, Dude, and Facebook: New York Man Arrested for Cutting Wires to Red Light Cameras After Exposing Government Revenue Generating Scheme BEN KELLER vanilla-birdbrain: abyssalthaumaturge: critical-perspective: cointelpro-plant: Man found the stoplight cameras were activated during yellow lights and decided to cut the wires of it. Florida Man: Chaotic evil.New York Man: Chaotic good. Holy shit. Nah dude look up the entire story, it’s INSANE. The dude got arrested once before this for using a painter’s extension rod to point the stoplight cameras into the sky instead of cutting the wires. He didn’t cut the wires until AFTER he got out after being arrested the first time–which he did after posting facebook videos that prove that the stoplights are intentionally rigged to trick drivers into citations–the yellow lights at intersections with cameras only last THREE SECONDS, as opposed to the five seconds they last at other stoplights without cameras in the same county. When he cut the camera cords, he reported his deeds to the news -himself,- and then politicians pressured the local police force into arresting him. The local police and sheriff deputies actually SUPPORT him for his actions because the lights have been killing innocent people! During his most recent arrest, one of the Sheriff’s Deputies actually -offered to bail him out-.When he got home again after these incidents, there was a surveillance camera planted at his house BY THE GOVERNMENT to watch him! His reaction to being surveilled? He painted over the camera in America’s flat out fucking ballsiest “fuck you” to the gubmint I’ve ever heard of.And it gets EVEN CRAZIER. After painting over the camera, suddenly this guy–his name is Stephen Ruth by the way–started GETTING ATTEMPTS ON HIS LIFE. He reports that a car intentionally tried to hit him in a head-on collision, and after talking about the car to his neighbors, they confirmed that the car in question (Or at least, one that was visibly identical, its occupants included) had been staking out his house! Somebody was legitimately trying to MURDER HIM over his discovery and his actions! As a final insult to injury, Ruth pointed out that the VAST majority of the cameras were found SPECIFICALLY in lower-to-middle-class neighborhoods. As well, the victims of these rigged stoplights tried to go to the local news station to talk about the deaths of their family members that occurred from the rigging. Aaaand… The local station, “News12″, never aired their interviews.Remember how I said that, after cutting the cables and calling the local news station, Ruth was arrested because of pressure from politicians? Get this: News12 is actually owned by CableVision, who PROVIDES INTERNET SERVICE TO THE CAMERAS. Whereas mister Ruth was only trying to help people and save lives, he’s been caught up in a full-blown fucking government conspiracy that’s out for his blood. This guy isn’t Robin Hood, he makes Robin Hood look like a -CHUMP-. HOLY SHIT I HAVE A NEW FUCKING ROLE MODEL
America, Dude, and Facebook: New York Man Arrested
 for Cutting Wires to Red
 Light Cameras After
 Exposing Government
 Revenue Generating
 Scheme
 BEN KELLER
vanilla-birdbrain:

abyssalthaumaturge:

critical-perspective:

cointelpro-plant:
Man found the stoplight cameras were activated during yellow lights and decided to cut the wires of it.
Florida Man: Chaotic evil.New York Man: Chaotic good.

Holy shit. Nah dude look up the entire story, it’s INSANE.
The dude got arrested once before this for using a painter’s extension rod to point the stoplight cameras into the sky instead of cutting the wires. He didn’t cut the wires until AFTER he got out after being arrested the first time–which he did after posting facebook videos that prove that the stoplights are intentionally rigged to trick drivers into citations–the yellow lights at intersections with cameras only last THREE SECONDS, as opposed to the five seconds they last at other stoplights without cameras in the same county.
When he cut the camera cords, he reported his deeds to the news -himself,- and then politicians pressured the local police force into arresting him. The local police and sheriff deputies actually SUPPORT him for his actions because the lights have been killing innocent people! During his most recent arrest, one of the Sheriff’s Deputies actually -offered to bail him out-.When he got home again after these incidents, there was a surveillance camera planted at his house BY THE GOVERNMENT to watch him! His reaction to being surveilled? He painted over the camera in America’s flat out fucking ballsiest “fuck you” to the gubmint I’ve ever heard of.And it gets EVEN CRAZIER. After painting over the camera, suddenly this guy–his name is Stephen Ruth by the way–started GETTING ATTEMPTS ON HIS LIFE. He reports that a car intentionally tried to hit him in a head-on collision, and after talking about the car to his neighbors, they confirmed that the car in question (Or at least, one that was visibly identical, its occupants included) had been staking out his house! Somebody was legitimately trying to MURDER HIM over his discovery and his actions!
As a final insult to injury, Ruth pointed out that the VAST majority of the cameras were found SPECIFICALLY in lower-to-middle-class neighborhoods. As well, the victims of these rigged stoplights tried to go to the local news station to talk about the deaths of their family members that occurred from the rigging. Aaaand… The local station, “News12″, never aired their interviews.Remember how I said that, after cutting the cables and calling the local news station, Ruth was arrested because of pressure from politicians? Get this: News12 is actually owned by CableVision, who PROVIDES INTERNET SERVICE TO THE CAMERAS. Whereas mister Ruth was only trying to help people and save lives, he’s been caught up in a full-blown fucking government conspiracy that’s out for his blood. This guy isn’t Robin Hood, he makes Robin Hood look like a -CHUMP-.


HOLY SHIT I HAVE A NEW FUCKING ROLE MODEL

vanilla-birdbrain: abyssalthaumaturge: critical-perspective: cointelpro-plant: Man found the stoplight cameras were activated during yell...

Lol, Memes, and Okay: Ocaino: u okay sandy like my post before this one ill like your most recent post in return i wont do all lol comment when done
Lol, Memes, and Okay: Ocaino:
 u okay sandy
like my post before this one ill like your most recent post in return i wont do all lol comment when done

like my post before this one ill like your most recent post in return i wont do all lol comment when done

Blessed, Crush, and Funny: Ashanti Becomes The Latest Black Female Celebrity To Share Her #MeToo Stories Of Sexual Harassment: "Once l Said 'No,' All Of A Sudden The Track Became $45k" @balleralert Ashanti Becomes The Latest Black Female Celebrity To Share Her MeToo Stories Of Sexual Harassment – “Once I Said ‘No,’ All Of A Sudden The Track Became $45k” – blogged by @MsJennyb ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ As allegations of sexual misconduct and assault continue to spread throughout Hollywood, more women and men, alike, are coming forward to share their experiences. In fact, Ashanti has become the most recent black female celebrity to share her own MeToo story. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ The ‘Foolish’ singer spilled the details in an interview on SiriusXM’s “Conversation with Maria Menounos,” as she revealed that she was sexually harassed by a producer, who refused to release her music without an exchange of sexual favors. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ “I’ve come across a situation where there was a certain producer that, you know, he had his little crush or whatever, but it wasn’t anything new, you know,” Ashanti said. “And once I said ‘no,’ all of a sudden the track became $45k.” ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ “It’s funny because he said something like, ‘Well just take a shower with me and let me do this,” she continued, as she explained the producer apologized when one of her “big brothers” stepped in. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ “The way that apology came in, I actually got three records for free,” Ashanti said. “And I got two of them mixed and mastered for free also.” ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ However, according to the songstress, not everyone is blessed to have people that look out for them and protect them, when need be. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ “I’m blessed because I have that,” she said, as she reflected on her experience. “It happens it does and it’s unfortunate.”
Blessed, Crush, and Funny: Ashanti Becomes The Latest Black Female Celebrity
 To Share Her #MeToo Stories Of Sexual Harassment:
 "Once l Said 'No,' All Of A Sudden The Track Became
 $45k"
 @balleralert
Ashanti Becomes The Latest Black Female Celebrity To Share Her MeToo Stories Of Sexual Harassment – “Once I Said ‘No,’ All Of A Sudden The Track Became $45k” – blogged by @MsJennyb ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ As allegations of sexual misconduct and assault continue to spread throughout Hollywood, more women and men, alike, are coming forward to share their experiences. In fact, Ashanti has become the most recent black female celebrity to share her own MeToo story. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ The ‘Foolish’ singer spilled the details in an interview on SiriusXM’s “Conversation with Maria Menounos,” as she revealed that she was sexually harassed by a producer, who refused to release her music without an exchange of sexual favors. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ “I’ve come across a situation where there was a certain producer that, you know, he had his little crush or whatever, but it wasn’t anything new, you know,” Ashanti said. “And once I said ‘no,’ all of a sudden the track became $45k.” ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ “It’s funny because he said something like, ‘Well just take a shower with me and let me do this,” she continued, as she explained the producer apologized when one of her “big brothers” stepped in. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ “The way that apology came in, I actually got three records for free,” Ashanti said. “And I got two of them mixed and mastered for free also.” ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ However, according to the songstress, not everyone is blessed to have people that look out for them and protect them, when need be. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ “I’m blessed because I have that,” she said, as she reflected on her experience. “It happens it does and it’s unfortunate.”

Ashanti Becomes The Latest Black Female Celebrity To Share Her MeToo Stories Of Sexual Harassment – “Once I Said ‘No,’ All Of A Sudden The T...

Confidence, Dogs, and Fedora: Letter 1 2/9/2018 Subject: Letter 1 Date: Mon, Jan 29, 2018 10:00 am To whom it may concern: My name is Alex. Although I may not be your bartender tonight (I sure do hope been Jason's bartender for the last decade. As a ba You get the opportunity to meet all different kinds someday I'm able to be!), I have of walks of life and learn how to read people very well. Some in and out of your life, while others you choose to keep around. When you come across someone as rtender you get to know some people on a very deep level votten to know Jason really well; everything from his taste in music, work ethic, and his le. Jason's taste in music could be summed up pretty easy (and this goes along with his personality, as they styl should reflect each other), he's got an old soul. He enjoys a classical style of music that helps to promotes thinking, relaxation, and self-growth. He's always been able to keep the bar in a good vibe as he picks the music on the jukebox. He has always kept a job for an extended period of time. He's well versed in bartending (customer service in general), welding, and he is currently an electrician. Jason is known to sport a fedora when it matches well with his jacket. He's always been able to rock those black frame glasses and stand out as a particular handsome fella in a crowd. One area that Jason has continuously impressed me is the way he has treated his past girlfriends and how deep and intimate their relationships were. He has always been a stand up gentleman and communicated with them very well about anything from their relationship to how he feels about something happening in his life. He isn't the kind of guy who's going to pay for everything for you. He enjoys a woman that is self-dependent and knows what she likes and wants out of life. But he is also willing to grow with you as you grow without jealousy regarding it. Jason has always had a confidence and carried himself in that manner. Jason, over the years, has spent his free time volunteering with the developmentally disabled. I feel this is an important point to make because it transitions into so many different aspects of his life. He's patient, trustworthy logical and funny. He has also had a few dogs over the years that were great dogs. His most recent dog (Sylvie) is just the sweetest animal and very fortunate to have Jason as her owner (especially with his tenderheartedness) considering her previous owner (ask Jason, it's his story to tell) I feel that this letter can really be summed up in a few sentences'. Jason is one of the best people I've had the pleasure of calling my friend. He's stands up for what he believes in, makes good choices and treats people well overall. Any woman who chooses to be in his life and he chooses to share his life with are extremely lucky in my opinion Kuddos to you for receiving this letter, as you must be a very spectacular gall Cheers, Alex O https://mail.aol.com/webmail-std/en-us/PrintMessage Friends first Tinder date. She was handed this as soon as they met.
Confidence, Dogs, and Fedora: Letter 1
 2/9/2018
 Subject: Letter 1
 Date: Mon, Jan 29, 2018 10:00 am
 To whom it may concern:
 My name is Alex. Although I may not be your bartender tonight (I sure do hope
 been Jason's bartender for the last decade. As a ba
 You get the opportunity to meet all different kinds
 someday I'm able to be!), I have
 of walks of life and learn how to read people very well. Some
 in and out of your life, while others you choose to keep around. When you come across someone as
 rtender you get to know some people on a very deep level
 votten to know Jason really well; everything from his taste in music, work ethic, and his
 le. Jason's taste in music could be summed up pretty easy (and this goes along with his personality, as they
 styl
 should reflect each other), he's got an old soul. He enjoys a classical style of music that helps to promotes
 thinking, relaxation, and self-growth. He's always been able to keep the bar in a good vibe as he picks the music
 on the jukebox. He has always kept a job for an extended period of time. He's well versed in bartending
 (customer service in general), welding, and he is currently an electrician. Jason is known to sport a fedora when
 it matches well with his jacket. He's always been able to rock those black frame glasses and stand out as a
 particular handsome fella in a crowd.
 One area that Jason has continuously impressed me is the way he has treated his past girlfriends and how deep
 and intimate their relationships were. He has always been a stand up gentleman and communicated with them
 very well about anything from their relationship to how he feels about something happening in his life. He isn't
 the kind of guy who's going to pay for everything for you. He enjoys a woman that is self-dependent and knows
 what she likes and wants out of life. But he is also willing to grow with you as you grow without jealousy
 regarding it. Jason has always had a confidence and carried himself in that manner.
 Jason, over the years, has spent his free time volunteering with the developmentally disabled. I feel this is an
 important point to make because it transitions into so many different aspects of his life. He's patient, trustworthy
 logical and funny. He has also had a few dogs over the years that were great dogs. His most recent dog (Sylvie)
 is just the sweetest animal and very fortunate to have Jason as her owner (especially with his tenderheartedness)
 considering her previous owner (ask Jason, it's his story to tell)
 I feel that this letter can really be summed up in a few sentences'. Jason is one of the best people I've had the
 pleasure of calling my friend. He's stands up for what he believes in, makes good choices and treats people well
 overall. Any woman who chooses to be in his life and he chooses to share his life with are extremely lucky in
 my opinion
 Kuddos to you for receiving this letter, as you must be a very spectacular gall
 Cheers,
 Alex O
 https://mail.aol.com/webmail-std/en-us/PrintMessage
Friends first Tinder date. She was handed this as soon as they met.

Friends first Tinder date. She was handed this as soon as they met.

Bad, Books, and College: tumblr Follow bitchhpunk debrides I worked with toddlers and pre schoolers for three years. Sometimes I accidentally slip and tell a friend to say bye to an inanimate object (say bye bus!) & occasionally they unthinkingly just do it I'm glad there's a teacher version of accidentally called teacher mom when I worked at Medieval Times occasionally I would slip in real life and call people my lord" mugsandpugs1 One time during family prayer, dad began: "our father who art in heaven, American Airlines, how can I help you? thomrainierskies One time my dad went to the White Castle drive-thru and the lady (who was supposed to say Welcome to White Castle, what's your crave?) asked, "Welcome to White Castle, what's your problem? She apologized profusely while my dad proceeded to lose his shit laughing mirab3lle Yesterday I went to Wendy's and the girl said "Welcome to McDonalds" and then just sighed Somebody in the elevator asked me what floor I lived on, and I answered please open your books to page eight", and we just kind of stared at each other blinking i work retail full time and my script gets frequently messy - ill ask the same question twice, or say "$2.60 is your total while handing back their change, or say "how are you doing today?" instead of "have a good day! like name it ive bungled it but anyway, this lady came thru my line buying a book and the review on the front said: 'few books are well written, fewer still are important, and this book manages to be both as i handed her the bag i was trying to say thanks, youre all set and instead my brain mashed up the review and i said thanks, youre important there was this short pause in which i tried to figure out what the fuck id just said she blinked and then said "oh thank youl youre important tool the real kicker was one of my coworkers. when i was relating this story later his response was "at least you said something NICE. last week i accidentally combined youre welcome and 'no problem into youre a problem" one time, since I used to work as a daycare teacher with preschoolers, i was on my college campus in my gym, and someone was running in the weight room and tripped over a machine and fell, and instead of offering to help, I just stared and said, This is why we use our walking feet. we both sat there for a while until the guy nodded and said, yeah, okay, i should've done that." gin-and-eschatonic I've spent a good chunk of time working in kitchens, so I still will reflexively say shit like "behind and "coming around" as I maneuver through spaces and around people which, actually not such a bad thing. I'm a big guy and can come across as imposing pretty easily. The position calls can help defuse that, and also help avoid collisions Less good is the time my brain was half functional and I let slip a coming with a knife" while grocery shopping. THAT took some explaining I work in an office and send tens of emails to customers every day. Once my Hello mum, as agreed, please find attached the ticked you requested. Thanks, Alex narwhalsarefalling i worked as a camp counselor, and i would have the kids tap somewhere on my legs if they needed something because im a pretty tall dude. today asked my cat if he needed something sugar4ndroses I have woken up in a cold sweat saying is that for here or to go? only-in-movies Conversely, in my old job I rarely answered outside calls so was only used to picking up to colleagues in random ways. So one day while fixing something at a different desk I answered what I thought was an internal call with "how do, I have usurped admin only to realise it was external and a board member on the line The CEO banned me from the phones while trying not to laugh I have worked in a variety of café/restaurant jobs, and in my most recent cafe job people were allowed to bring their leashed dogs through the line with them. One day someone came through the line with an adorable pup, and when the dog looked up at me as I was checking them out, I said "would you like that dog for here or to go? Source debrides 438,007 notes Brain glitch stories
Bad, Books, and College: tumblr
 Follow
 bitchhpunk
 debrides
 I worked with toddlers and pre schoolers for three years. Sometimes I
 accidentally slip and tell a friend to say bye to an inanimate object (say bye
 bus!) & occasionally they unthinkingly just do it
 I'm glad there's a teacher version of accidentally called teacher mom
 when I worked at Medieval Times occasionally I would slip in real life and call
 people my lord"
 mugsandpugs1
 One time during family prayer, dad began: "our father who art in heaven,
 American Airlines, how can I help you?
 thomrainierskies
 One time my dad went to the White Castle drive-thru and the lady (who was
 supposed to say Welcome to White Castle, what's your crave?)
 asked, "Welcome to White Castle, what's your problem?
 She apologized profusely while my dad proceeded to lose his shit laughing
 mirab3lle
 Yesterday I went to Wendy's and the girl said "Welcome to McDonalds" and then
 just sighed
 Somebody in the elevator asked me what floor I lived on, and I answered
 please open your books to page eight", and we just kind of stared at each other
 blinking
 i work retail full time and my script gets frequently messy - ill ask the same
 question twice, or say "$2.60 is your total while handing back their change, or
 say "how are you doing today?" instead of "have a good day! like name it ive
 bungled it
 but anyway, this lady came thru my line buying a book and the review on the
 front said: 'few books are well written, fewer still are important, and this book
 manages to be both
 as i handed her the bag i was trying to say thanks, youre all set and instead my
 brain mashed up the review and i said thanks, youre important
 there was this short pause in which i tried to figure out what the fuck id just said
 she blinked and then said "oh thank youl youre important tool
 the real kicker was one of my coworkers. when i was relating this story later his
 response was "at least you said something NICE. last week i accidentally
 combined youre welcome and 'no problem into youre a problem"
 one time, since I used to work as a daycare teacher with preschoolers, i was on
 my college campus in my gym, and someone was running in the weight room
 and tripped over a machine and fell, and instead of offering to help, I just stared
 and said, This is why we use our walking feet.
 we both sat there for a while until the guy nodded and said, yeah, okay, i
 should've done that."
 gin-and-eschatonic
 I've spent a good chunk of time working in kitchens, so I still will reflexively say
 shit like "behind and "coming around" as I maneuver through spaces and
 around people
 which, actually not such a bad thing. I'm a big guy and can
 come across as
 imposing pretty easily. The position calls can help defuse that, and also help
 avoid collisions
 Less good is the time my brain was half functional and I let slip a coming with a
 knife" while grocery shopping. THAT took some explaining
 I work in an office and send tens of emails to customers every day. Once my
 Hello mum, as agreed, please find attached the ticked you requested. Thanks,
 Alex
 narwhalsarefalling
 i worked as a camp counselor, and i would have the kids tap somewhere on my
 legs if they needed something because im a pretty tall dude. today asked my cat
 if he needed something
 sugar4ndroses
 I have woken up in a cold sweat saying is that for here or to go?
 only-in-movies
 Conversely, in my old job I rarely answered outside calls so was only used to
 picking up to colleagues in random ways. So one day while fixing something at a
 different desk I answered what I thought was an internal call with "how do, I have
 usurped admin only to realise it was external and a board member on the line
 The CEO banned me from the phones while trying not to laugh
 I have worked in a variety of café/restaurant jobs, and in my most recent cafe job
 people were allowed to bring their leashed dogs through the line with them.
 One day someone came through the line with an adorable pup, and when the
 dog looked up at me as I was checking them out, I said "would you like that dog
 for here or to go?
 Source debrides
 438,007 notes
Brain glitch stories

Brain glitch stories