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Chill, Lmao, and Phone: hrovitnir: rokirovka: theminism: raveger: enrique262: captain-price-official: marcommarco: inzertbreaks: tomroughneck: Meanwhile in Russia annyi. gente decisa The bigger vehicle has right of way. Russians cannot into chill. This is what I call a satisfying video @rokirovka blease tell me what these poor benighted motherfuckers are saying @theminism tbf speakers 1 and 2 seem like pretty reasonable people… i can’t really translate much of what the benighted motherfuckers involved are saying since they’re farther away (and swearing is hard to translate) but here goes nothing lmao just for you speaker 1: What, they can’t drive out of each other’s way? speaker 2: It looks like they can’t drive out of each other’s way. There’s not enough space. And they’re fighting. speaker 1: They should have just pulled off and let the excavator go first. speaker 2 [interrupting]: Of course. speaker 1: What the heck are they doing over there speaker 2: What the heck speaker 1: Woah woah what the heck okay wow speaker 2: What the hell [gets out of car] Hey, hey guys! What the f[this is where the beep comes in] are you doing! speaker 3: Don’t take pictures! speaker 2: I’m filming! speakers 3 and 4: [inaudible] Don’t take pictures! Put the phone away! speaker 2: Guys, calm down! [the reckoning arrives] speakers 3 and 4: [general yelling] No no no! f[beep]! Wow! Wow! [yelling continues inaudibly] speaker 2: Wow guys! [laughs] Fuck, dudes! Wow you messed up! [laughs] now that, man, is a fuck up! Motherf[beep]! Get ‘em! Oh man, thank you so much for the translation.
Chill, Lmao, and Phone: hrovitnir:
rokirovka:

theminism:

raveger:

enrique262:

captain-price-official:


marcommarco:

inzertbreaks:

tomroughneck:
Meanwhile in Russia 
annyi.

gente decisa


The bigger vehicle has right of way. 


Russians cannot into chill. 


This is what I call a satisfying video


@rokirovka blease tell me what these poor benighted motherfuckers are saying

@theminism tbf speakers 1 and 2 seem like pretty reasonable people… i can’t really translate much of what the benighted motherfuckers involved are saying since they’re farther away (and swearing is hard to translate) but here goes nothing lmao just for you
speaker 1: What, they can’t drive out of each other’s way?
speaker 2: It looks like they can’t drive out of each other’s way. There’s not enough space. And they’re fighting.
speaker 1: They should have just pulled off and let the excavator go first.
speaker 2 [interrupting]: Of course.
speaker 1: What the heck are they doing over there
speaker 2: What the heck
speaker 1: Woah woah what the heck okay wow
speaker 2: What the hell [gets out of car] Hey, hey guys! What the f[this is where the beep comes in] are you doing!
speaker 3: Don’t take pictures!
speaker 2: I’m filming!
speakers 3 and 4: [inaudible] Don’t take pictures! Put the phone away!
speaker 2: Guys, calm down!
[the reckoning arrives]
speakers 3 and 4: [general yelling] No no no! f[beep]! Wow! Wow! [yelling continues inaudibly]
speaker 2: Wow guys! [laughs] Fuck, dudes! Wow you messed up! [laughs] now that, man, is a fuck up! Motherf[beep]! Get ‘em!

Oh man, thank you so much for the translation.

hrovitnir: rokirovka: theminism: raveger: enrique262: captain-price-official: marcommarco: inzertbreaks: tomroughneck: Meanwhile in ...

Big Dick, Bitch, and Fire: TBT PFC Moses Cardenes | It was summer in Rawah Iraq, 2007 NSW and The Highlanders had teamed up to lay hate and discontent through their battle-space w- a small Marine DET next door who stayed getting fucked up at Blue Hackle compound on Camp Kassem. CallsignFatal Highlanders TrojanHorse HunterKiller TFHighlander A young, skinny PFC with BCGs on his face and fire in his heart named Moses Cardenas was a Scout on his first combat deployment. On Aug 2, 07, his platoon set up a snap VCP. (2) bongos eerily halted in the distance refusing to advance. Suddenly(5) muj fucks started laying HEAVY hate on the plt w- PKMs and RPGs immediately wounding Rodie trying to bound for cover. Unable to engage from his position, Cardenas slung his dick over his shoulder, clutched his SAW for dear-fucking-life, and sprinted into the danger zone. While pulling a marine that was easily TWICE his fucking bodyweight w-o gear and ammo, he took a round to the neck that instantly dropped him. Having not one bitchmade bone in his body, he got back up, chicken winged his SAW and laid hate on the trucks while simultaneously walking backwards and buddy dragging Rodie. He then got shot AGAIN and dropped to the ground. But Cardenas having no quit in his heart got back up and dragged Rodie to safety. As soon as he was clear of the LAVs line of fire, big dick Texan Drew Perry opened up on bongo trucks w- 25mm and turned those motherfuckers into scrambled eggs. Unfortunately the platoon lost Lcpl Christian Vasquez but be damned if he didn’t fight bravely that day. Moses Cardenas was given the Silver Star for his actions MOSES CARDENAS SHOULD HAVE RECEIVED A MEDAL OF HONOR FOR WHAT HE DID ON THIS DAY. But due to the officer elitist nature of the United States Marine Corps, Cardenas received no such recognition and had he been you can be sure some coffee-sipping, clean-cammie-having, paper-bitch of an officer would have done their best to hinder the process. Fortunately for the Marine Corps, he’s still leading Marines to this day and has somehow found sets of trousers that fit his massive fucking balls. All the respect in the world for this Marine, Highlander forever. OAF TBT OAFNation
Big Dick, Bitch, and Fire: TBT PFC Moses Cardenes | It was summer in Rawah Iraq, 2007 NSW and The Highlanders had teamed up to lay hate and discontent through their battle-space w- a small Marine DET next door who stayed getting fucked up at Blue Hackle compound on Camp Kassem. CallsignFatal Highlanders TrojanHorse HunterKiller TFHighlander A young, skinny PFC with BCGs on his face and fire in his heart named Moses Cardenas was a Scout on his first combat deployment. On Aug 2, 07, his platoon set up a snap VCP. (2) bongos eerily halted in the distance refusing to advance. Suddenly(5) muj fucks started laying HEAVY hate on the plt w- PKMs and RPGs immediately wounding Rodie trying to bound for cover. Unable to engage from his position, Cardenas slung his dick over his shoulder, clutched his SAW for dear-fucking-life, and sprinted into the danger zone. While pulling a marine that was easily TWICE his fucking bodyweight w-o gear and ammo, he took a round to the neck that instantly dropped him. Having not one bitchmade bone in his body, he got back up, chicken winged his SAW and laid hate on the trucks while simultaneously walking backwards and buddy dragging Rodie. He then got shot AGAIN and dropped to the ground. But Cardenas having no quit in his heart got back up and dragged Rodie to safety. As soon as he was clear of the LAVs line of fire, big dick Texan Drew Perry opened up on bongo trucks w- 25mm and turned those motherfuckers into scrambled eggs. Unfortunately the platoon lost Lcpl Christian Vasquez but be damned if he didn’t fight bravely that day. Moses Cardenas was given the Silver Star for his actions MOSES CARDENAS SHOULD HAVE RECEIVED A MEDAL OF HONOR FOR WHAT HE DID ON THIS DAY. But due to the officer elitist nature of the United States Marine Corps, Cardenas received no such recognition and had he been you can be sure some coffee-sipping, clean-cammie-having, paper-bitch of an officer would have done their best to hinder the process. Fortunately for the Marine Corps, he’s still leading Marines to this day and has somehow found sets of trousers that fit his massive fucking balls. All the respect in the world for this Marine, Highlander forever. OAF TBT OAFNation

TBT PFC Moses Cardenes | It was summer in Rawah Iraq, 2007 NSW and The Highlanders had teamed up to lay hate and discontent through their ba...

4chan, Bad, and Be Like: snakegay why does so much post apocalypse media have people wearing straight up bdsm/fetish gear like. do the kinksters watch the world ending and think oh boy i can wear my bondage gear in public now" skelefolk thats actually exactly what happens broliloquy What I wanna know is why the spiky kink warriors are always the bad evi marauders. They might be into some weird shit and unafraid to show it but that doesn't mean they want to go around killing dudes. They're a tight-knit bunch. A lot of them are queer. They understand the importance of community If the government collapses and all laws come to an end, the people rampaging around killing and looting are gonna be like, frat boys and 4chan rejects. You can mistrust the bondage raiders all you like but they're definitely the ones you're going to run to for help when the neoliberal blood cultists and Nazi meme demons lay siege to your survivor enclave. There's gonna be gayboy berserkers busting up slaver gangs and burning down warboy frat houses. The assless-chaps leather daddies and weird petplay people are gonna be the accidental peacekeepers of the post-apocalyptic world just because they're the only motherfuckers who understand the importance of consent anymore Listen. Don't come to me asking how to get the secret cadre of bisexual death commandoes to protect your wretched tent village if you're scared that we might call in the kinksters for backup. I don't give a shit if they dress up like dogs and spend all day writing poems about butt plugs. There's assholes out there acting like Viad the Impaler on a meth bender and you're afraid of seeing a nipple. Fuck you. If you really want to get rid of the MRA death gangs you're going to have to accept that a lesbian chainsaw dominatrix or two might be invoived. its the tucking post-apocalypse my guy we gotta weigh our priorities here Source snakegay BDSMageddon
4chan, Bad, and Be Like: snakegay
 why does so much post apocalypse media have people wearing straight up
 bdsm/fetish gear like. do the kinksters watch the world ending and think oh
 boy i can wear my bondage gear in public now"
 skelefolk
 thats actually exactly what happens
 broliloquy
 What I wanna know is why the spiky kink warriors are always the bad evi
 marauders. They might be into some weird shit and unafraid to show it but that
 doesn't mean they want to go around killing dudes. They're a tight-knit bunch.
 A lot of them are queer. They understand the importance of community
 If the government collapses and all laws come to an end, the people
 rampaging around killing and looting are gonna be like, frat boys and 4chan
 rejects. You can mistrust the bondage raiders all you like but they're definitely
 the ones you're going to run to for help when the neoliberal blood cultists and
 Nazi meme demons lay siege to your survivor enclave. There's gonna be
 gayboy berserkers busting up slaver gangs and burning down warboy frat
 houses. The assless-chaps leather daddies and weird petplay people are
 gonna be the accidental peacekeepers of the post-apocalyptic world just
 because they're the only motherfuckers who understand the importance of
 consent anymore
 Listen. Don't come to me asking how to get the secret cadre of bisexual death
 commandoes to protect your wretched tent village if you're scared that we
 might call in the kinksters for backup. I don't give a shit if they dress up like
 dogs and spend all day writing poems about butt plugs. There's assholes out
 there acting like Viad the Impaler on a meth bender and you're afraid of seeing
 a nipple. Fuck you. If you really want to get rid of the MRA death gangs you're
 going to have to accept that a lesbian chainsaw dominatrix or two might be
 invoived. its the tucking post-apocalypse my guy we gotta weigh our priorities
 here
 Source snakegay
BDSMageddon

BDSMageddon

Bad, Bad Boys, and Christmas: HELI'S KITCHEN MOVME CUB XMAS SPECIAL MUN ou ARE MOST ToUBLESOME FOR A SECURITY GUARD ㄧㄋ EEENH! SORRY, HANS, WRONG GUESS. Wouw You IKE TO ão FOR OUBLE JEOPARTY,WHERE THE SCORES CAN REALLY CHANGE? CWHOA, THESE THINGS ARE REALLY BAD FOR You THEN WHO ARE You? [INDIANA JONES THEME MUSIC PLAYS] WHEWE JUST A FLY IN THE OINTMENT, HANS. ER PSHUU THE MONKEY KLIK TTER WHAT IS IT YOU WANT, MARY? WHAT DO YOU WANT? DO YOU WANT THE MOON? JUST SAY THE WORD AND I'LL THROW A LASSO AROUND T AND PULL IT DOWN HEY. THAT'S A PRETTY GOOD IDEA. I'LL GIVE YOU THE MOON, MARY. I'LL TAKE IT. THEN WHAT, GEORGE? SNIFE WELL, THEN YOU CAN SWALLOWIT AND IT'LL ALL DISSOLVE, SEE. AND THE MOONBEAMS WOULD SHOOT OUT OF YOUR FINGERS AND YOUR TOES AND THE ENDS OF YOUR HAIR... AM I TALKING TOO MUCH? YES! WHY DON'T YOU KISS HER, INSTEAD OF TALKING HER TO DEATH? HKMC is a work of satire by Dave Acosta (@davedrawsgood), Dee Cunniffe (@deezoid) & Alex de Campi (@alexdecampi). All characters (c) Marvel Comics. Next episode: Death Wish. Or maybe Predator. Dunno. No for real, The Thin Man is "clearly" the best Xmas movie. William Powell is a comedy genius. (If you like Nick & Nora, check out My Man Godfrey, another brillant Powell screwball that has the greatest and by greatest we mean most fucked-up- meetcute of all time.) There's a period in one's young adulthood where it's deeply uncool to like A Wonderful Life. Sentimentality! Ugh, gross. Then you get older, and messages of hope seem a lot more necessary than before. Also, Jimmy Stewart is funny as hell. Not just his delivery, but his physical business between lines? #Goals. Stewart has been in a lot of great films Capra's so current it hurt Mr Smith Frex but if you like nors, dig up the under-appreciated Preminger classic, Anatomy of a Murder. Duke Ellington wrote&performed the score! Anyway: Happy Christmas from all of us. You are more important than you know, and more loved than you believe. Things will get better, give it time. alexdecampi: Hells Kitchen Movie Club Xmas Special! Ho ho ho, motherfuckers! Love from me, @dave-acosta and @deecunniffe Bucky’s shirt a low-key nod to @buckykingofmemes, who we adore Previously in Hell: cover image // 01 // 02 // 03 // Xmas // 04 // 05 // 06 // That time the Punisher’s creator gave us a thumbs-up // twitter // insta HOW did I get a shoutout in this A YEAR AGO and never knew about it?? This series is excellent! Look at that drowsy Bucky!
Bad, Bad Boys, and Christmas: HELI'S KITCHEN MOVME CUB XMAS SPECIAL
 MUN
 ou ARE MOST ToUBLESOME
 FOR A SECURITY GUARD
 ㄧㄋ
 EEENH! SORRY, HANS,
 WRONG GUESS.
 Wouw You IKE TO ão FOR
 OUBLE JEOPARTY,WHERE THE
 SCORES CAN REALLY CHANGE?

 CWHOA, THESE THINGS ARE
 REALLY BAD FOR You
 THEN WHO ARE You?
 [INDIANA JONES THEME MUSIC PLAYS]
 WHEWE
 JUST A FLY IN THE
 OINTMENT, HANS.
 ER

 PSHUU
 THE MONKEY
 KLIK
 TTER
 WHAT IS IT YOU WANT, MARY?
 WHAT DO YOU WANT? DO YOU
 WANT THE MOON?

 JUST SAY THE WORD AND
 I'LL THROW A LASSO AROUND
 T AND PULL IT DOWN
 HEY. THAT'S A PRETTY GOOD IDEA.
 I'LL GIVE YOU THE MOON, MARY.
 I'LL TAKE IT.
 THEN WHAT, GEORGE?
 SNIFE
 WELL, THEN YOU CAN SWALLOWIT
 AND IT'LL ALL DISSOLVE, SEE.
 AND THE MOONBEAMS WOULD SHOOT
 OUT OF YOUR FINGERS AND YOUR TOES
 AND THE ENDS OF YOUR HAIR...
 AM I TALKING TOO MUCH?
 YES! WHY DON'T YOU KISS HER,
 INSTEAD OF TALKING HER TO DEATH?
 HKMC is a work of satire by Dave Acosta (@davedrawsgood), Dee Cunniffe (@deezoid) & Alex de Campi (@alexdecampi).
 All characters (c) Marvel Comics.
 Next episode: Death Wish. Or maybe Predator. Dunno.
 No for real, The Thin Man is "clearly" the best Xmas movie. William Powell is a comedy genius. (If you like Nick & Nora, check out My Man
 Godfrey, another brillant Powell screwball that has the greatest and by greatest we mean most fucked-up- meetcute of all time.)
 There's a period in one's young adulthood where it's deeply uncool to like A Wonderful Life. Sentimentality! Ugh, gross. Then you get older,
 and messages of hope seem a lot more necessary than before. Also, Jimmy Stewart is funny as hell. Not just his delivery, but his physical
 business between lines? #Goals. Stewart has been in a lot of great films Capra's so current it hurt Mr Smith Frex but if you like nors, dig
 up the under-appreciated Preminger classic, Anatomy of a Murder. Duke Ellington wrote&performed the score! Anyway: Happy Christmas from
 all of us. You are more important than you know, and more loved than you believe. Things will get better, give it time.
alexdecampi:
Hells Kitchen Movie Club Xmas Special! Ho ho ho, motherfuckers! Love from me, @dave-acosta and @deecunniffe
Bucky’s shirt a low-key nod to @buckykingofmemes, who we adore
Previously in Hell: cover image // 01 // 02 // 03 // Xmas // 04 // 05 // 06 // That time the Punisher’s creator gave us a thumbs-up // twitter // insta

HOW did I get a shoutout in this A YEAR AGO and never knew about it?? This series is excellent! Look at that drowsy Bucky!

alexdecampi: Hells Kitchen Movie Club Xmas Special! Ho ho ho, motherfuckers! Love from me, @dave-acosta and @deecunniffe Bucky’s shirt a low...

Ass, Bitch, and Fucking: dick-rider-dave-strider: strangelyobsessedwithstuff: vialsofbrightforgettingpowders: ALRIGHT MOTHERFUCKERS, TIME FOR SOME LEARNIN SO SIT OUR BITCH ASS DOWN AND GET OUT OUR NOTEPAD THIS SHIT RIGHT HERE IS SUGAR SCRUB. YEAH I KNOW YOUVE SEEN IT BEFORE BUT YOU DONT KNOW WHAT I KNOW AND THAT WHEN YOU USE IT WITH ONE OF THESE FUCKERS YOU WILL GET LEGS AND ARMS AND ANY OTHER SHIT YOU WANT THAT IS SO SOFT YOU WILL BE SHOVING IT IN THE FACE OF EVERYONE YOU KNOW AND ASKING THEM TO COMPARE IT TO THE TENDER PINK FLESH OF A NEWBORN SO GET YOURSELF SOME FUCKING WHITE SUGAR AND SOME CHEAP ASS OIL LIKE CANOLA OR SOME SHIT AND MIX THAT SHIT WITH TWO PARTS SUGAR AND ONE PART OIL( THAT MEANS TWICE AS MUCH SUGAR AS OIL BITCHES I USUALLY USE ONE CUP OF SUGAR AND DO SOME FUCKING MATH TO FIGURE OUT HOW MUCH OIL THAT IS) DROP A FEW DROPS OF VANILLA ESSENCE OR MAYBE SOME FUCKING LAVENDER OIL WHATEVER YOU WANNA SMELL LIKE. MIX IT UP REALLY GOOD MMMM SMELLS LIKE CAKE BATTER FUCK YEAH. NOW GET YOURSELF GOOD AND NAKED. REAL NAKED. PAMPER YOUR GODDESS-LIKE ASS WITH A BUBBLE BATH. TAKE ONE OF THOSE RAZORS YOU GOT AND SHAVE WHATEVER YOU LIKE TO SHAVE LEGS ARMS VAJAYJAY PITS I DONT FUCKING CARE. NOW GET OUT OF THAT GROSS HAIRY DIRT WATER AND SIT ON THE EDGE OF THAT THERE BATHTUB. TAKE A HANDFUL OF THAT SWEET GOOP AND RUB IT ALL OVER THAT SKIN OF YOURS(just dont use this stuff on or near your lady bits i put this in lower case because it is really important your love cavern does not like sugar uh uh no way its diabetic) RUB RUB RUB KEEP RUBBIN YEAH YOUR HANDS STARTING TO FEEL WEIRD GOOD BECAUSE ITS WORKING NOW TAKE THAT CHEAP-ASS DISPOSABLE RAZOR YOU HAVE AND SHAVE OFF THAT NASTY-ASS DEAD SKIN EWW ITS SO GROSS NO ITS NOT ITS YOUR OWN SKIN BUT ITS ALL GREY. RINSE OF THAT OILY STUFF BECAUSE YOUR SKIN AINT NO SLIP-N-SLIDE GOOD NOW FEEL YOUR NEWFOUND SOFT SKIN THAT WAS ONCE BURIED UNDER LAYERS OF DEAD FLAKES OF YOUR PAST SELF YOUR WELCOME MOTHERFUCKERS CLASS DISMISSED IVE BEEN LOOKING FOR THIS POST FOR AGESthanks for the tip karkat reference
Ass, Bitch, and Fucking: dick-rider-dave-strider:

strangelyobsessedwithstuff:

vialsofbrightforgettingpowders:

ALRIGHT MOTHERFUCKERS, TIME FOR SOME LEARNIN SO SIT OUR BITCH ASS DOWN AND GET OUT OUR NOTEPAD
THIS SHIT RIGHT HERE IS SUGAR SCRUB. YEAH I KNOW YOUVE SEEN IT BEFORE BUT YOU DONT KNOW WHAT I KNOW AND THAT WHEN YOU USE IT WITH ONE OF THESE FUCKERS

YOU WILL GET LEGS AND ARMS AND ANY OTHER SHIT YOU WANT THAT IS SO SOFT YOU WILL BE SHOVING IT IN THE FACE OF EVERYONE YOU KNOW AND ASKING THEM TO COMPARE IT TO THE TENDER PINK FLESH OF A NEWBORN
SO GET YOURSELF SOME FUCKING WHITE SUGAR AND SOME CHEAP ASS OIL LIKE CANOLA OR SOME SHIT AND MIX THAT SHIT WITH TWO PARTS SUGAR AND ONE PART OIL( THAT MEANS TWICE AS MUCH SUGAR AS OIL BITCHES I USUALLY USE ONE CUP OF SUGAR AND DO SOME FUCKING MATH TO FIGURE OUT HOW MUCH OIL THAT IS) DROP A FEW DROPS OF VANILLA ESSENCE OR MAYBE SOME FUCKING LAVENDER OIL WHATEVER YOU WANNA SMELL LIKE. MIX IT UP REALLY GOOD MMMM SMELLS LIKE CAKE BATTER FUCK YEAH.

NOW GET YOURSELF GOOD AND NAKED. REAL NAKED. PAMPER YOUR GODDESS-LIKE ASS WITH A BUBBLE BATH. TAKE ONE OF THOSE RAZORS YOU GOT AND SHAVE WHATEVER YOU LIKE TO SHAVE LEGS ARMS VAJAYJAY PITS I DONT FUCKING CARE.
NOW GET OUT OF THAT GROSS HAIRY DIRT WATER AND SIT ON THE EDGE OF THAT THERE BATHTUB. TAKE A HANDFUL OF THAT SWEET GOOP AND RUB IT ALL OVER THAT SKIN OF YOURS(just dont use this stuff on or near your lady bits i put this in lower case because it is really important your love cavern does not like sugar uh uh no way its diabetic) RUB RUB RUB KEEP RUBBIN YEAH YOUR HANDS STARTING TO FEEL WEIRD GOOD BECAUSE ITS WORKING

NOW TAKE THAT CHEAP-ASS DISPOSABLE RAZOR YOU HAVE AND SHAVE OFF THAT NASTY-ASS DEAD SKIN EWW ITS SO GROSS NO ITS NOT ITS YOUR OWN SKIN BUT ITS ALL GREY. RINSE OF THAT OILY STUFF BECAUSE YOUR SKIN AINT NO SLIP-N-SLIDE

GOOD NOW FEEL YOUR NEWFOUND SOFT SKIN THAT WAS ONCE BURIED UNDER LAYERS OF DEAD FLAKES OF YOUR PAST SELF YOUR WELCOME MOTHERFUCKERS CLASS DISMISSED

IVE BEEN LOOKING FOR THIS POST FOR AGESthanks for the tip karkat

reference

dick-rider-dave-strider: strangelyobsessedwithstuff: vialsofbrightforgettingpowders: ALRIGHT MOTHERFUCKERS, TIME FOR SOME LEARNIN SO SIT ...

Anaconda, At-At, and Bad: theshitpostcalligrapher: morgan1yam: theshitpostcalligrapher: 99daysofr: theshitpostcalligrapher: theshitpostcalligrapher: it fuckin begins my dudes.  for expository context i started working on this bad boy at 1am whilst listening to a fight club audiobook for free on youtube and avoiding readings on international policy so u kno.  same as always.  #why would you dothis to yourself To test my abilities Ok hypothetically speaking how much would it cost for someone to commission something like this. about 3.8 souls on proper conversion rates, but I’m gonna start bidding at around $1500 CAD and we’ll go from there  Okay, so you’re pricing yourself waaaay low there! Not only for the cost of supplies, or time spent making it. But also for the cost on your soul and the cost of this level of quality shitmemeing.You are doing this by hand, and  In most cases, rates for book transcription are approximately $0.01 to $0.20 a word or line, $1 to $3 a page, $10 to $50 an hour, and $5,000 to $20,000 per project, depending on the difficulty of the project and the experience of the transcriptionist. Transcriptionist. Who would just be typing the words out on a keyboard. YOU ARE DOING IT PHYSICALLY. YOU ARE MAKING SHITPOST AAAART. This is effectively the Gregorian tomb of the bee movie, a potential master work. Also, you need to think of how much money you COULD be making during the time that you are spending working on this project. As well as how many months you want to not worry about snacks in the future, or having to pay off the carpel tunnel medication you’ll need for your wrist after this. (Health care is only mostly free.)TLDR: Start your bidding at at least 3 to 5 thousand… at the least. actually i redid the math on this one and you’re actually right. For commissions I charge 35 base plus 20 an hour, with higher base rates if it takes me more than a day in total (100 per day).I can usually do gothic calligraphy at a rate of about 330 characters an hour, give or take. the bee movie is about 40,683 characters in total, which totals me out at roughly 124 hours, rounding up. for just the hourly, that puts us at $2480, but the fact that that total time is over 5 days brings base fee up to 500 dollars. I use black india ink, which i could write whole encyclopedias with with just the 30 dollar bottle i bought 2 years ago, so that’s largely negligible. I use dip nibs which wear like motherfuckers and are always counted as sunk costs bc of how long their work life tends to be. The leather book cost me about 50 bucks after tax. There’s a Canadian tax thing called a “small supplier exemption” whereupon if you have a sole proprietorship entity (ie a small business/freelancing) that makes less than $30,000 a year (which i DEF DO NOT LMAO) you don’t need to register for GST/HST, which is why i don’t charge y’all taxes on stuff. Opportunity cost calculation is tricky, because as sole proprietorship, it’s difficult to quantify the potential gains lost. And in other employment, minimum in my province is 14/hour, and positions w/my degree usually start out at 20/hour anyways so thats a moot point. That totals us out at a starting bid, at cost, of $3030.00 CAD  and of course, for those who feel like it, there’s always a kofi that exists if you would like to donate to and take part in (spiritually at least) of the Tombe Of The Bee efforts
Anaconda, At-At, and Bad: theshitpostcalligrapher:

morgan1yam:

theshitpostcalligrapher:

99daysofr:

theshitpostcalligrapher:


theshitpostcalligrapher:

it fuckin begins my dudes. 
for expository context i started working on this bad boy at 1am whilst listening to a fight club audiobook for free on youtube and avoiding readings on international policy so u kno. 
same as always. 



#why would you dothis to yourself
To test my abilities


Ok hypothetically speaking how much would it cost for someone to commission something like this.

about 3.8 souls on proper conversion rates, but I’m gonna start bidding at around $1500 CAD and we’ll go from there 

Okay, so you’re pricing yourself waaaay low there! Not only for the cost of supplies, or time spent making it. But also for the cost on your soul and the cost of this level of quality shitmemeing.You are doing this by hand, and 

In most cases, rates for book transcription are approximately $0.01 to $0.20 a word or line, $1 to $3 a page, $10 to $50 an hour, and $5,000 to $20,000 per project, depending on the difficulty of the project and the experience of the transcriptionist. Transcriptionist. Who would just be typing the words out on a keyboard. YOU ARE DOING IT PHYSICALLY. YOU ARE MAKING SHITPOST AAAART. This is effectively the Gregorian tomb of the bee movie, a potential master work.
Also, you need to think of how much money you COULD be making during the time that you are spending working on this project. As well as how many months you want to not worry about snacks in the future, or having to pay off the carpel tunnel medication you’ll need for your wrist after this. (Health care is only mostly free.)TLDR: Start your bidding at at least 3 to 5 thousand… at the least.

actually i redid the math on this one and you’re actually right. For commissions I charge 35 base plus 20 an hour, with higher base rates if it takes me more than a day in total (100 per day).I can usually do gothic calligraphy at a rate of about 330 characters an hour, give or take. the bee movie is about 40,683 characters in total, which totals me out at roughly 124 hours, rounding up. for just the hourly, that puts us at $2480, but the fact that that total time is over 5 days brings base fee up to 500 dollars. I use black india ink, which i could write whole encyclopedias with with just the 30 dollar bottle i bought 2 years ago, so that’s largely negligible. I use dip nibs which wear like motherfuckers and are always counted as sunk costs bc of how long their work life tends to be. The leather book cost me about 50 bucks after tax. There’s a Canadian tax thing called a “small supplier exemption” whereupon if you have a sole proprietorship entity (ie a small business/freelancing) that makes less than $30,000 a year (which i DEF DO NOT LMAO) you don’t need to register for GST/HST, which is why i don’t charge y’all taxes on stuff. Opportunity cost calculation is tricky, because as sole proprietorship, it’s difficult to quantify the potential gains lost. And in other employment, minimum in my province is 14/hour, and positions w/my degree usually start out at 20/hour anyways so thats a moot point. That totals us out at a starting bid, at cost, of $3030.00 CAD  and of course, for those who feel like it, there’s always a kofi that exists if you would like to donate to and take part in (spiritually at least) of the Tombe Of The Bee efforts

theshitpostcalligrapher: morgan1yam: theshitpostcalligrapher: 99daysofr: theshitpostcalligrapher: theshitpostcalligrapher: it fuckin ...