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     mouthing: delladilly
 do you ever see someone in some quiet intimate moment and suddenly love
 them so desperately you feel like you're dying
 #1ike when they pass a mirror and make a face and mess with their hair a little
 #or when you hear someone singing in their car with the windows rolled up as
 they drive past you #1 don't know how to express this i ust
 and it makes me so sad and filled up sometimes
 le are
 le
 mrrrl
 I love seeing grown humans setting about little creative tasks out of boredom
 and then looking quietly pleased with themselves, like maybe a middle-aged
 woman on her train home from work manages to make a tower out of empty
 coffee creamers and gazes at it proudly for a few seconds
 I love seeing other people make the overblown OOPS I FORGOT SOMETHING
 performance for no-one that most of us do when we have to turn around in the
 middle of the pavement.
 I love seeing stony-faced people in queues unable to contain a smile when a
 baby looking over its mother's shoulder in front of them locks eyes and does that
 astonished stare
 brittajj26
 when someone is standing in line and they don't quite dance to the music
 playing, but you can SEE their head bop and them mouthing the words
 when someone thinks no one's paying attention and they sing-talk themselves
 thru a task
 when they laugh or try to hide a laugh when looking at their phone
 elodieunderglass
 when someone does the thing where they enter another space (such as a
 supermarket aisle) striding with total purpose, then suddenly forget what they re
 doing/looking for, and stop there looking blank for a millisecond while they
 reboot.
 when people are looking for scissors, in their home or in a store, and they
 make the scissors gesture with their non-dominant hand as an aid to remind
 them what they're doing
 - when automatic social interactions glitch, like when you tell a waiter that you
 hope he enjoys his food too, or tell the stranger on the phone that you love
 them
 the hand gesture people make when they're thinking at their computer, not
 typing, and their elbow rests on the table, and they feel the edge of their
 fingernail with their thumb. This is such a lovely little gesture and to my
 knowledge I have never seen it in fiction. You'd think it would come up all the
 time in fic.
 - when you're sharing an experience with a complete stranger (like watching a
 seagull throw up in public, or waiting for a late train) and you make eye contact,
 and some comment to each other, and then you guys are, like, ALLIES now.
 Like you would willingly ride to war to save them. You can't make eye contact
 again, but you are very aware of them
 - just evidence of other people's rich, baffling and complex inner lives
 207,680 notes
Everyone is made up of such beautiful specific details
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                 mouthing: delladilly
 do you ever see someone in some quiet intimate moment and suddenly love
 them so desperately you feel like you're dying
 #1ike when they pass a mirror and make a face and mess with their hair a little
 #or when you hear someone singing in their car with the windows rolled up as
 they drive past you #1 don't know how to express this i ust
 and it makes me so sad and filled up sometimes
 le are
 le
 mrrrl
 I love seeing grown humans setting about little creative tasks out of boredom
 and then looking quietly pleased with themselves, like maybe a middle-aged
 woman on her train home from work manages to make a tower out of empty
 coffee creamers and gazes at it proudly for a few seconds
 I love seeing other people make the overblown OOPS I FORGOT SOMETHING
 performance for no-one that most of us do when we have to turn around in the
 middle of the pavement.
 I love seeing stony-faced people in queues unable to contain a smile when a
 baby looking over its mother's shoulder in front of them locks eyes and does that
 astonished stare
 brittajj26
 when someone is standing in line and they don't quite dance to the music
 playing, but you can SEE their head bop and them mouthing the words
 when someone thinks no one's paying attention and they sing-talk themselves
 thru a task
 when they laugh or try to hide a laugh when looking at their phone
 elodieunderglass
 when someone does the thing where they enter another space (such as a
 supermarket aisle) striding with total purpose, then suddenly forget what they re
 doing/looking for, and stop there looking blank for a millisecond while they
 reboot.
 when people are looking for scissors, in their home or in a store, and they
 make the scissors gesture with their non-dominant hand as an aid to remind
 them what they're doing
 - when automatic social interactions glitch, like when you tell a waiter that you
 hope he enjoys his food too, or tell the stranger on the phone that you love
 them
 the hand gesture people make when they're thinking at their computer, not
 typing, and their elbow rests on the table, and they feel the edge of their
 fingernail with their thumb. This is such a lovely little gesture and to my
 knowledge I have never seen it in fiction. You'd think it would come up all the
 time in fic.
 - when you're sharing an experience with a complete stranger (like watching a
 seagull throw up in public, or waiting for a late train) and you make eye contact,
 and some comment to each other, and then you guys are, like, ALLIES now.
 Like you would willingly ride to war to save them. You can't make eye contact
 again, but you are very aware of them
 - just evidence of other people's rich, baffling and complex inner lives
 207,680 notes
Everyone is made up of such beautiful specific details
                
            

            
            
Everyone is made up of such beautiful specific details

            
            
        

    



        

        
        

            







     mouthing: Peanut butter
spaceorphan18:

sulkingheals:

downtroddendeity:

jacemp3:

monkeysaysficus:


audrey-hepbae:

catchymemes:

10 tricks you didn’t know you could do with your food.
By Blossom

The internet went from showing food recipe videos to alchemy in less than a decade. There’s going to be a quick video on how to make the philosopher’s stone from tomato sauce next week. 


I WANNA DRINK THE TRANSPARENT SODA


leave milk out unrefrigerated in your house for 2 days

Some days ago, my sibling sent me this video out of the desperate hope I could provide the catharsis of seeing it torn to pieces. It has now been coming on 72 hours, and only now have I recovered enough to be able to do much of anything but scream, “WHAT?!” and “NO!” at the screen.
We had a long discussion about what in the twelve hells this video even is. A surreal, dadaist parody so obscure that our brains aren’t operating on enough levels to comprehend it? The Instagram lifehack equivalent of those terrifying procedurally-generated animated Youtube videos that farm ad revenue by playing millions of times to babies whose parents left the iPad on autoplay? A coded message designed to activate the combat programming of brainwashed cyborg sleeper agents? A post that slipped through a wormhole from an alternate dimension where the laws of reality are different? An emanation of a vast and alien chaos god?
I cannot bring myself to confront the claims in this video in the order they are put forth without losing my will to live after the first one, so I will start with the least crazy and work my way up.
Bananas to ripen things: More or less true. You’ll sometimes see advice to cooks to store underripe fruit in a paper bag with one piece of overripe (but not rotten) fruit to ripen it more quickly.Misrepresentations: It will probably take longer than overnight to ripen something as green as some of those tomatoes, and it doesn’t have to be a banana.
Coca-cola and milk: The coke is more acidic than the
 milk and curdles it, resulting in solid globs of milk protein which 
settle out. The brown dye in the coke sticks to the milk protein globs, 
leaving the excess liquid more or less clear.Misrepresentations: The video has been enormously sped up, which the editing does not make clear; the reaction takes hours.
Ketchup to clean metal: To my mild surprise, this is actually a thing (though you could just make a paste out of salt, flour, and vinegar and scrub with that and not get ketchup stains on everything)…Misrepresentations: …for cleaning copper and bronze. Which the jug shown in the video is not. The acid in the ketchup might take some of the tarnish off, say, aluminum, but at that point you might as well just use vinegar.
Sparkling water omelet: Omelet souffles are a thing.Misrepresentations: You… literally do not need the sparkling water… you can just beat the eggs until they’re fluffy…


“Warm water clears wax from fruits!”: This is a mysterious and arcane procedure called “washing.”Misrepresentations: I don’t know what the hell they even did to the video on this sequence but as a person who has washed many apples in warm water, it does not look like that and the thin layer of edible wax applied to make them look good in the grocery store does not come off that easily.
Sprite to clean earrings: Again, this will take tarnish off some metals just due to the acid, but…Misrepresentations: DO YOU WANT GROSS STICKY EARRINGS AND EAR INFECTIONS? JUST USE VINEGAR WATER. Also, “dirt” is not a kind of molecule. (Incidentally, if the earrings are silver, there is a vastly better method that actually reverses the tarnish instead of removing it.)
Insta-freeze bottle: This is a real thing…Misrepresentation: …which absolutely will not happen if you follow their instructions, because a) they neglect to mention an important caveat (the water needs to be purified/distilled) and b) 5 minutes is not long enough for a water bottle to supercool. If you google any of the myriad videos and articles of people doing this trick, you’ll see numbers like “3 hours in the freezer” or “40 minutes in a salted ice bath.”
There is video of the trick working. Either that footage was taken from someone else, or they knew how to do it, did it, and then deliberately lied about the time for no apparent reason.
Putting a broken plate in milk for two days magically fixes it: To my immense surprise, they didn’t make this one up; the idea is that the milk protein casein can form into a plastic at high temperatures and bind to the ceramic. Googling it turned up some hobbyist potters commenting that they’d used it to salvage things that had cracked slightly in the kiln.Misrepresentations: Once again, they’ve misrepresented the method: everything I saw talking about how to do it said to boil the milk and then soak for an hour, not leave it out for two days like an offering to the pixies. And most of what I saw reported about it also said it only really works on hairline cracks, not full breaks, and doesn’t hold up long-term because the real structural damage isn’t repaired. And may leave a faint and persistent odor of boiled milk.
Just use superglue.
“Reveal the genetic memory of the honeycomb”:
This is the kind of gibberish predicated on so many nonsensical assumptions that unpacking it would be more trouble than it’s worth. Plus, well, I can barely see anything with the low video quality, but what I can see of the vague blur doesn’t look much like a honeycomb in the first place. Suffice to say:
“Honey looks like a honeycomb” isn’t even in the ballpark of what’s generally meant by “genetic memory,”
what’s generally meant by “genetic memory” is also complete hooey, and
fluid dynamics is weird and swirling a thick, viscous, water-soluble liquid with a layer of water on top is going to do weird things.
But at least that I could potentially attribute to ignorance rather than deliberate intent to deceive, unlike…
Hot coals and peanut butter
This is the reason it’s taken me this long to post this. Every time I think about it my soul starts to leave my body. It’s such a mind-boggling level of bullshit that every time I’ve tried to put words around an explanation I’m quickly reduced to staring at the screen and mouthing “No” to myself in a voice of quiet despair, because I can’t even figure out where to start.
Well, okay, I guess I might as well start by saying I think their… let’s say inspiration on this was articles about scientists who made diamonds out of peanut butter and carbon dioxide. …With a press that’s designed to recreate the conditions of the earth’s mantle, and which is prone to exploding. So, you know, not something you can do in your kitchen. Unless you have one hell of a kitchen.
You can see the direct links to this in the nonsensical claim that this “works” because peanut butter contains carbon dioxide. (It doesn’t, particularly. It’s crushed peanuts mixed with oil. You know what would have a lot of carbon dioxide? The fire you pulled that glowing lump of charcoal out of.) It also mentions “pressure” when no particular pressure is involved, presumably because we’ve all heard about turning coal into diamond under heat and pressure.
Chemically speaking, there’s very little to make that crystal out of except carbon, unless you want to posit a mass migration of all the sugar molecules in the peanut butter to the center of the coal. And “carbon crystal” = “diamond,” and do you think if it was that easy to make diamonds they’d be that expensive?
I will guarantee you that crystal is a lump of quartz they covered in black crud and then peanut butter to pretend it was the charcoal.
But, of course, all of that is irrelevant, because by reblogging this at all, even to performatively despair that the internet does not seem to have come all that far since the days of Infinite Chocolate, I’m playing into their hands. Lifehack clickbait has done this forever- they deliberately seed in wrong or awful advice because people will share that to say how stupid/wrong it is. They led with complete insanity to get attention, and I gave them eyeballs on the video watching this, and I’ll be giving them more from writing this.
Maybe I’ll stick to the chaos god theory. It’s less depressing.
@ohnofixit


I apologize for being stupid enough to believe that video so reblogging the breakdown of why it was wrong.

Why you shouldn’t believe everything on the internet. 

    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                 mouthing: Peanut butter
spaceorphan18:

sulkingheals:

downtroddendeity:

jacemp3:

monkeysaysficus:


audrey-hepbae:

catchymemes:

10 tricks you didn’t know you could do with your food.
By Blossom

The internet went from showing food recipe videos to alchemy in less than a decade. There’s going to be a quick video on how to make the philosopher’s stone from tomato sauce next week. 


I WANNA DRINK THE TRANSPARENT SODA


leave milk out unrefrigerated in your house for 2 days

Some days ago, my sibling sent me this video out of the desperate hope I could provide the catharsis of seeing it torn to pieces. It has now been coming on 72 hours, and only now have I recovered enough to be able to do much of anything but scream, “WHAT?!” and “NO!” at the screen.
We had a long discussion about what in the twelve hells this video even is. A surreal, dadaist parody so obscure that our brains aren’t operating on enough levels to comprehend it? The Instagram lifehack equivalent of those terrifying procedurally-generated animated Youtube videos that farm ad revenue by playing millions of times to babies whose parents left the iPad on autoplay? A coded message designed to activate the combat programming of brainwashed cyborg sleeper agents? A post that slipped through a wormhole from an alternate dimension where the laws of reality are different? An emanation of a vast and alien chaos god?
I cannot bring myself to confront the claims in this video in the order they are put forth without losing my will to live after the first one, so I will start with the least crazy and work my way up.
Bananas to ripen things: More or less true. You’ll sometimes see advice to cooks to store underripe fruit in a paper bag with one piece of overripe (but not rotten) fruit to ripen it more quickly.Misrepresentations: It will probably take longer than overnight to ripen something as green as some of those tomatoes, and it doesn’t have to be a banana.
Coca-cola and milk: The coke is more acidic than the
 milk and curdles it, resulting in solid globs of milk protein which 
settle out. The brown dye in the coke sticks to the milk protein globs, 
leaving the excess liquid more or less clear.Misrepresentations: The video has been enormously sped up, which the editing does not make clear; the reaction takes hours.
Ketchup to clean metal: To my mild surprise, this is actually a thing (though you could just make a paste out of salt, flour, and vinegar and scrub with that and not get ketchup stains on everything)…Misrepresentations: …for cleaning copper and bronze. Which the jug shown in the video is not. The acid in the ketchup might take some of the tarnish off, say, aluminum, but at that point you might as well just use vinegar.
Sparkling water omelet: Omelet souffles are a thing.Misrepresentations: You… literally do not need the sparkling water… you can just beat the eggs until they’re fluffy…


“Warm water clears wax from fruits!”: This is a mysterious and arcane procedure called “washing.”Misrepresentations: I don’t know what the hell they even did to the video on this sequence but as a person who has washed many apples in warm water, it does not look like that and the thin layer of edible wax applied to make them look good in the grocery store does not come off that easily.
Sprite to clean earrings: Again, this will take tarnish off some metals just due to the acid, but…Misrepresentations: DO YOU WANT GROSS STICKY EARRINGS AND EAR INFECTIONS? JUST USE VINEGAR WATER. Also, “dirt” is not a kind of molecule. (Incidentally, if the earrings are silver, there is a vastly better method that actually reverses the tarnish instead of removing it.)
Insta-freeze bottle: This is a real thing…Misrepresentation: …which absolutely will not happen if you follow their instructions, because a) they neglect to mention an important caveat (the water needs to be purified/distilled) and b) 5 minutes is not long enough for a water bottle to supercool. If you google any of the myriad videos and articles of people doing this trick, you’ll see numbers like “3 hours in the freezer” or “40 minutes in a salted ice bath.”
There is video of the trick working. Either that footage was taken from someone else, or they knew how to do it, did it, and then deliberately lied about the time for no apparent reason.
Putting a broken plate in milk for two days magically fixes it: To my immense surprise, they didn’t make this one up; the idea is that the milk protein casein can form into a plastic at high temperatures and bind to the ceramic. Googling it turned up some hobbyist potters commenting that they’d used it to salvage things that had cracked slightly in the kiln.Misrepresentations: Once again, they’ve misrepresented the method: everything I saw talking about how to do it said to boil the milk and then soak for an hour, not leave it out for two days like an offering to the pixies. And most of what I saw reported about it also said it only really works on hairline cracks, not full breaks, and doesn’t hold up long-term because the real structural damage isn’t repaired. And may leave a faint and persistent odor of boiled milk.
Just use superglue.
“Reveal the genetic memory of the honeycomb”:
This is the kind of gibberish predicated on so many nonsensical assumptions that unpacking it would be more trouble than it’s worth. Plus, well, I can barely see anything with the low video quality, but what I can see of the vague blur doesn’t look much like a honeycomb in the first place. Suffice to say:
“Honey looks like a honeycomb” isn’t even in the ballpark of what’s generally meant by “genetic memory,”
what’s generally meant by “genetic memory” is also complete hooey, and
fluid dynamics is weird and swirling a thick, viscous, water-soluble liquid with a layer of water on top is going to do weird things.
But at least that I could potentially attribute to ignorance rather than deliberate intent to deceive, unlike…
Hot coals and peanut butter
This is the reason it’s taken me this long to post this. Every time I think about it my soul starts to leave my body. It’s such a mind-boggling level of bullshit that every time I’ve tried to put words around an explanation I’m quickly reduced to staring at the screen and mouthing “No” to myself in a voice of quiet despair, because I can’t even figure out where to start.
Well, okay, I guess I might as well start by saying I think their… let’s say inspiration on this was articles about scientists who made diamonds out of peanut butter and carbon dioxide. …With a press that’s designed to recreate the conditions of the earth’s mantle, and which is prone to exploding. So, you know, not something you can do in your kitchen. Unless you have one hell of a kitchen.
You can see the direct links to this in the nonsensical claim that this “works” because peanut butter contains carbon dioxide. (It doesn’t, particularly. It’s crushed peanuts mixed with oil. You know what would have a lot of carbon dioxide? The fire you pulled that glowing lump of charcoal out of.) It also mentions “pressure” when no particular pressure is involved, presumably because we’ve all heard about turning coal into diamond under heat and pressure.
Chemically speaking, there’s very little to make that crystal out of except carbon, unless you want to posit a mass migration of all the sugar molecules in the peanut butter to the center of the coal. And “carbon crystal” = “diamond,” and do you think if it was that easy to make diamonds they’d be that expensive?
I will guarantee you that crystal is a lump of quartz they covered in black crud and then peanut butter to pretend it was the charcoal.
But, of course, all of that is irrelevant, because by reblogging this at all, even to performatively despair that the internet does not seem to have come all that far since the days of Infinite Chocolate, I’m playing into their hands. Lifehack clickbait has done this forever- they deliberately seed in wrong or awful advice because people will share that to say how stupid/wrong it is. They led with complete insanity to get attention, and I gave them eyeballs on the video watching this, and I’ll be giving them more from writing this.
Maybe I’ll stick to the chaos god theory. It’s less depressing.
@ohnofixit


I apologize for being stupid enough to believe that video so reblogging the breakdown of why it was wrong.

Why you shouldn’t believe everything on the internet. 

                
                

                
            

            
            
spaceorphan18:

sulkingheals:

downtroddendeity:

jacemp3:

monkeysaysficus:


audrey-hepbae:

catchymemes:

10 tricks you didn’t know yo...

            
            
        

    



        

        
        

            







     mouthing: crime show: well we don't know what time she was taken but
 as you can see in this convenience store security footage
 she's mouthing something and our lip reading technology tells
 us she's saying 'those three wise men they ve got a semi by
 the sea which are lyrics to James Blunt's song Wisemen
 which was playing on that store's favoured radio station at
 approximately 3:18PM and she disappears from view exactly
 five minutes later so therefore
 m crying cause most secunty
 cams would have timestamps
 crime show: now see usually we'd manage to get a
 timestamp from the security footage but unfortunately in this
 case the cameras only record a live feed and while you would
 think this means we shouldn't be able to see the footage at
 all, luckily a famous Twutch streamer happened to be using it
 as their background footage while recording yesterday so
 jenroses
 yes, but can you blow it up and enhance it?
 unfortunately this particular footage is extremely low quality
 and very grainy but as Izoom in on this super blurry pixelated
 mage you can see the details become much clearer and
 easier to identify
 But what about the extremely specific pollen found on the
 camera lens?
 good eye! originally I didn't even notice it was there but whie
 combing through the footage I noticed three different people
 sneezed whille in view of the camera. I did some research and
 found that the particles represent the pollen of this obscure
 plant life that is native to this particular state, which really
 doesn't help us, except that it only ever blooms in the
 opposite season! So I did some digging and found four
 nurseries within a 50 mile radius, only one of which sell that
 plant all
 year round, which of course
 means
 mongolman101
 Hold on just one moment! If the twitch streamer was using the
 cameras live feed as background, then we should know the
 ime of the crime! The twitch archive should mark how long
 the streamer had been on by the time of the perpetrators
 presence onscreen, and if we know when they went live, we
 will know the time the perpetrator was in the building
 DAMNIT jONES THIS ISN'T YOUR CASE
 WELL IT'S MY CASE NOW! The Captain thinks your
 kidnapping is related to my investigation into that cult up
 state. So, apparently, we're supposed to work together. I'm
 not any happier than you are.
 but I hate sharing!
 TOUGH SHIT MCNAMARA! Your kidnapping case is
 somehow connected with that cult that's been sacrificing its
 members to in the belief that it will appease the elder god
 Cthulhu. Now, I don't like it any more than you do, and I'm
 worse at sharing than a toddler with a new favorite toy, but
 lives may well be on the line here! Are you willing to put aside
 our differences, and do what needs to be done?!
 Alright, but when we catch the perp he's mine. I don't care if
 he's sacrificed a hundred victims to goddamn Mickey Mouse!
 That man may know who killed my father, and I wont let
 anyone get in my way -not even someone with your develish
 smile.
 Do you think you're the only one who wants to find Eric's
 murderer?1 He was my partnerl He was my friend Iknow we
 haven't worked together before, but this case will have us
 working together for a while, until we eventually find your
 fathers killer. And I can see this case taking us a long time,
 and defining both of our lives for the foreseeable future. But
 don't worry McNamara, my years of experience on the force,
 put together with your grit, tenacity, and loose understanding
 of the rules will make for a great partnership, with plenty of
 laughs and sexual tension to go around. Until some being
 from on high decides the precinct isn't ready for a same sex
 couple, and I rekindle my relationship with my previously
 unmentioned ex-wife. But we, and some unknown watchers of
 our adventures, will always know we were meant to be
 together, weirdly large age gap be damned!
 Yeah, and while Eric was off playing cops and robbers with
 you, I grew up without a dad! Do you know how many times I
 stared at my baseball glove, wishing he was there to throw it
 to me? You may have lost Eric, but I never even got to have
 him!
 But you're right. This case will definitely take at least a full
 year, especially with the fact that we will be constantly
 interrupted with other, smaller cases, one of which will be
 halloween themed. Were working together for the forseeable
 future, and my playful countenance and morbid wit will very
 quickly mesh with your hardened attitude and tendency to
 keep secrets.
 And while you go back to your unhappy, stiff relationship with
 your ex wife, I will be shown having constant meaningless sex
 with a multitude of beautiful women so that the writers can
 really get across how Not Gay I am.
 It's gonna be a wild ride, Jones. And there had better be
 stakeouts.
 executive producer dick wolf
 Source: aloverthegaf
Tumblr Crime Show
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                 mouthing: crime show: well we don't know what time she was taken but
 as you can see in this convenience store security footage
 she's mouthing something and our lip reading technology tells
 us she's saying 'those three wise men they ve got a semi by
 the sea which are lyrics to James Blunt's song Wisemen
 which was playing on that store's favoured radio station at
 approximately 3:18PM and she disappears from view exactly
 five minutes later so therefore
 m crying cause most secunty
 cams would have timestamps
 crime show: now see usually we'd manage to get a
 timestamp from the security footage but unfortunately in this
 case the cameras only record a live feed and while you would
 think this means we shouldn't be able to see the footage at
 all, luckily a famous Twutch streamer happened to be using it
 as their background footage while recording yesterday so
 jenroses
 yes, but can you blow it up and enhance it?
 unfortunately this particular footage is extremely low quality
 and very grainy but as Izoom in on this super blurry pixelated
 mage you can see the details become much clearer and
 easier to identify
 But what about the extremely specific pollen found on the
 camera lens?
 good eye! originally I didn't even notice it was there but whie
 combing through the footage I noticed three different people
 sneezed whille in view of the camera. I did some research and
 found that the particles represent the pollen of this obscure
 plant life that is native to this particular state, which really
 doesn't help us, except that it only ever blooms in the
 opposite season! So I did some digging and found four
 nurseries within a 50 mile radius, only one of which sell that
 plant all
 year round, which of course
 means
 mongolman101
 Hold on just one moment! If the twitch streamer was using the
 cameras live feed as background, then we should know the
 ime of the crime! The twitch archive should mark how long
 the streamer had been on by the time of the perpetrators
 presence onscreen, and if we know when they went live, we
 will know the time the perpetrator was in the building
 DAMNIT jONES THIS ISN'T YOUR CASE
 WELL IT'S MY CASE NOW! The Captain thinks your
 kidnapping is related to my investigation into that cult up
 state. So, apparently, we're supposed to work together. I'm
 not any happier than you are.
 but I hate sharing!
 TOUGH SHIT MCNAMARA! Your kidnapping case is
 somehow connected with that cult that's been sacrificing its
 members to in the belief that it will appease the elder god
 Cthulhu. Now, I don't like it any more than you do, and I'm
 worse at sharing than a toddler with a new favorite toy, but
 lives may well be on the line here! Are you willing to put aside
 our differences, and do what needs to be done?!
 Alright, but when we catch the perp he's mine. I don't care if
 he's sacrificed a hundred victims to goddamn Mickey Mouse!
 That man may know who killed my father, and I wont let
 anyone get in my way -not even someone with your develish
 smile.
 Do you think you're the only one who wants to find Eric's
 murderer?1 He was my partnerl He was my friend Iknow we
 haven't worked together before, but this case will have us
 working together for a while, until we eventually find your
 fathers killer. And I can see this case taking us a long time,
 and defining both of our lives for the foreseeable future. But
 don't worry McNamara, my years of experience on the force,
 put together with your grit, tenacity, and loose understanding
 of the rules will make for a great partnership, with plenty of
 laughs and sexual tension to go around. Until some being
 from on high decides the precinct isn't ready for a same sex
 couple, and I rekindle my relationship with my previously
 unmentioned ex-wife. But we, and some unknown watchers of
 our adventures, will always know we were meant to be
 together, weirdly large age gap be damned!
 Yeah, and while Eric was off playing cops and robbers with
 you, I grew up without a dad! Do you know how many times I
 stared at my baseball glove, wishing he was there to throw it
 to me? You may have lost Eric, but I never even got to have
 him!
 But you're right. This case will definitely take at least a full
 year, especially with the fact that we will be constantly
 interrupted with other, smaller cases, one of which will be
 halloween themed. Were working together for the forseeable
 future, and my playful countenance and morbid wit will very
 quickly mesh with your hardened attitude and tendency to
 keep secrets.
 And while you go back to your unhappy, stiff relationship with
 your ex wife, I will be shown having constant meaningless sex
 with a multitude of beautiful women so that the writers can
 really get across how Not Gay I am.
 It's gonna be a wild ride, Jones. And there had better be
 stakeouts.
 executive producer dick wolf
 Source: aloverthegaf
Tumblr Crime Show
                
            

            
            
Tumblr Crime Show

            
            
        

    



        

        
        

            






        

        
        

            






        

        
        

            






        

        
        

            







     mouthing: delladilly
 do you ever see someone in some quiet intimate moment and
 suddenly love them so desperately you feel like you're dying
 air
 in
 Us
 es
 mrrrl
 I love seeing grown humans setting about little creative tasks out of
 boredom and then looking quietly pleased with themselves, like
 maybe a middle-aged woman on her train home from work manages
 to make a tower out of empty coffee creamers and gazes at it proudly
 for a few seconds
 I love seeing other people make the overblown OOPS I FORGOT
 SOMETHING performance for no-one that most of us do when we
 have to turn around in the middle of the pavement.
 I love seeing stony-faced people in queues unable to contain a smile
 when a baby looking over its mother's shoulder in front of them locks
 eyes and does that astonished stare
 brittajj26
 when someone is standing in line and they don't quite dance to the
 music playing, but you can SEE their head bop and them mouthing
 the words
 when someone thinks no one's paying attention and they sing-talk
 themselves thru a task
 when they laugh or try to hide a laugh when looking at their phone
 elodieunderglass
 when someone does the thing where they enter another space
 (such as a supermarket aisle) striding with total purpose, then
 suddenly forget what they're doing/looking for, and stop there looking
 blank for a millisecond while they reboot.
 - when people are looking for scissors, in their home or in a store
 and they make the scissors gesture with their non-dominant hand as
 an aid to remind them what they're doing
 when automatic social interactions glitch, like when you tell a waiter
 that you hope he enjoys his food too, or tell the stranger on the
 phone that you love them
 - the hand gesture people make when they're thinking at their
 computer, not typing, and their elbow rests on the table, and they feel
 the edge of their fingernail with their thumb. This is such a lovely little
 gesture and to my knowledge I have never seen it in fiction. You'd
 think it would come up all the time in fic.
 - when you're sharing an experience with a complete stranger (like
 watching a seagull throw up in public, or waiting for a late train) and
 you make eye contact, and some comment to each other, and then
 you guys are, like, ALLIES now. Like you would willingly ride to war
 to save them. You can't make eye contact again, but you are very
 aware of them
 , baffling and complex inner
 - just evidence of other people's rich
 lives
 happylilprompts
 This... I want to see more of this in writing. They're such giving
 details, I love it.
 quietnighty
 "evidence of other people's rich, baffling and complex inner
 lives" is exactly my very favorite thing to see in writing and media
 thanks @elodieunderglass and @happylilprompts. Why does
 realism in storytelling tend to focus on details of pain, fear, or horror
 and so rarely on these sorts of moments, which are just as universal
 and real. When did realistic become synonymous with awful, dark,
 and the abominable "gritty?
<p>These little things throughout the day via /r/wholesomememes <a href="https://ift.tt/2LXDYuR">https://ift.tt/2LXDYuR</a></p>
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                 mouthing: delladilly
 do you ever see someone in some quiet intimate moment and
 suddenly love them so desperately you feel like you're dying
 air
 in
 Us
 es
 mrrrl
 I love seeing grown humans setting about little creative tasks out of
 boredom and then looking quietly pleased with themselves, like
 maybe a middle-aged woman on her train home from work manages
 to make a tower out of empty coffee creamers and gazes at it proudly
 for a few seconds
 I love seeing other people make the overblown OOPS I FORGOT
 SOMETHING performance for no-one that most of us do when we
 have to turn around in the middle of the pavement.
 I love seeing stony-faced people in queues unable to contain a smile
 when a baby looking over its mother's shoulder in front of them locks
 eyes and does that astonished stare
 brittajj26
 when someone is standing in line and they don't quite dance to the
 music playing, but you can SEE their head bop and them mouthing
 the words
 when someone thinks no one's paying attention and they sing-talk
 themselves thru a task
 when they laugh or try to hide a laugh when looking at their phone
 elodieunderglass
 when someone does the thing where they enter another space
 (such as a supermarket aisle) striding with total purpose, then
 suddenly forget what they're doing/looking for, and stop there looking
 blank for a millisecond while they reboot.
 - when people are looking for scissors, in their home or in a store
 and they make the scissors gesture with their non-dominant hand as
 an aid to remind them what they're doing
 when automatic social interactions glitch, like when you tell a waiter
 that you hope he enjoys his food too, or tell the stranger on the
 phone that you love them
 - the hand gesture people make when they're thinking at their
 computer, not typing, and their elbow rests on the table, and they feel
 the edge of their fingernail with their thumb. This is such a lovely little
 gesture and to my knowledge I have never seen it in fiction. You'd
 think it would come up all the time in fic.
 - when you're sharing an experience with a complete stranger (like
 watching a seagull throw up in public, or waiting for a late train) and
 you make eye contact, and some comment to each other, and then
 you guys are, like, ALLIES now. Like you would willingly ride to war
 to save them. You can't make eye contact again, but you are very
 aware of them
 , baffling and complex inner
 - just evidence of other people's rich
 lives
 happylilprompts
 This... I want to see more of this in writing. They're such giving
 details, I love it.
 quietnighty
 "evidence of other people's rich, baffling and complex inner
 lives" is exactly my very favorite thing to see in writing and media
 thanks @elodieunderglass and @happylilprompts. Why does
 realism in storytelling tend to focus on details of pain, fear, or horror
 and so rarely on these sorts of moments, which are just as universal
 and real. When did realistic become synonymous with awful, dark,
 and the abominable "gritty?
<p>These little things throughout the day via /r/wholesomememes <a href="https://ift.tt/2LXDYuR">https://ift.tt/2LXDYuR</a></p>
                
            

            
            
<p>These little things throughout the day via /r/wholesomememes <a href="https://ift.tt/2LXDYuR">https://ift.tt/2LXDYuR</a></p>

            
            
        

    



        

        
        

            







     mouthing: delladilly
 do you ever see someone in some quiet intimate moment and
 suddenly love them so desperately you feel like you're dying
 air
 in
 Us
 es
 mrrrl
 I love seeing grown humans setting about little creative tasks out of
 boredom and then looking quietly pleased with themselves, like
 maybe a middle-aged woman on her train home from work manages
 to make a tower out of empty coffee creamers and gazes at it proudly
 for a few seconds
 I love seeing other people make the overblown OOPS I FORGOT
 SOMETHING performance for no-one that most of us do when we
 have to turn around in the middle of the pavement.
 I love seeing stony-faced people in queues unable to contain a smile
 when a baby looking over its mother's shoulder in front of them locks
 eyes and does that astonished stare
 brittajj26
 when someone is standing in line and they don't quite dance to the
 music playing, but you can SEE their head bop and them mouthing
 the words
 when someone thinks no one's paying attention and they sing-talk
 themselves thru a task
 when they laugh or try to hide a laugh when looking at their phone
 elodieunderglass
 when someone does the thing where they enter another space
 (such as a supermarket aisle) striding with total purpose, then
 suddenly forget what they're doing/looking for, and stop there looking
 blank for a millisecond while they reboot.
 - when people are looking for scissors, in their home or in a store
 and they make the scissors gesture with their non-dominant hand as
 an aid to remind them what they're doing
 when automatic social interactions glitch, like when you tell a waiter
 that you hope he enjoys his food too, or tell the stranger on the
 phone that you love them
 - the hand gesture people make when they're thinking at their
 computer, not typing, and their elbow rests on the table, and they feel
 the edge of their fingernail with their thumb. This is such a lovely little
 gesture and to my knowledge I have never seen it in fiction. You'd
 think it would come up all the time in fic.
 - when you're sharing an experience with a complete stranger (like
 watching a seagull throw up in public, or waiting for a late train) and
 you make eye contact, and some comment to each other, and then
 you guys are, like, ALLIES now. Like you would willingly ride to war
 to save them. You can't make eye contact again, but you are very
 aware of them
 , baffling and complex inner
 - just evidence of other people's rich
 lives
 happylilprompts
 This... I want to see more of this in writing. They're such giving
 details, I love it.
 quietnighty
 "evidence of other people's rich, baffling and complex inner
 lives" is exactly my very favorite thing to see in writing and media
 thanks @elodieunderglass and @happylilprompts. Why does
 realism in storytelling tend to focus on details of pain, fear, or horror
 and so rarely on these sorts of moments, which are just as universal
 and real. When did realistic become synonymous with awful, dark,
 and the abominable "gritty?
<p>These little things throughout the day</p>
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                 mouthing: delladilly
 do you ever see someone in some quiet intimate moment and
 suddenly love them so desperately you feel like you're dying
 air
 in
 Us
 es
 mrrrl
 I love seeing grown humans setting about little creative tasks out of
 boredom and then looking quietly pleased with themselves, like
 maybe a middle-aged woman on her train home from work manages
 to make a tower out of empty coffee creamers and gazes at it proudly
 for a few seconds
 I love seeing other people make the overblown OOPS I FORGOT
 SOMETHING performance for no-one that most of us do when we
 have to turn around in the middle of the pavement.
 I love seeing stony-faced people in queues unable to contain a smile
 when a baby looking over its mother's shoulder in front of them locks
 eyes and does that astonished stare
 brittajj26
 when someone is standing in line and they don't quite dance to the
 music playing, but you can SEE their head bop and them mouthing
 the words
 when someone thinks no one's paying attention and they sing-talk
 themselves thru a task
 when they laugh or try to hide a laugh when looking at their phone
 elodieunderglass
 when someone does the thing where they enter another space
 (such as a supermarket aisle) striding with total purpose, then
 suddenly forget what they're doing/looking for, and stop there looking
 blank for a millisecond while they reboot.
 - when people are looking for scissors, in their home or in a store
 and they make the scissors gesture with their non-dominant hand as
 an aid to remind them what they're doing
 when automatic social interactions glitch, like when you tell a waiter
 that you hope he enjoys his food too, or tell the stranger on the
 phone that you love them
 - the hand gesture people make when they're thinking at their
 computer, not typing, and their elbow rests on the table, and they feel
 the edge of their fingernail with their thumb. This is such a lovely little
 gesture and to my knowledge I have never seen it in fiction. You'd
 think it would come up all the time in fic.
 - when you're sharing an experience with a complete stranger (like
 watching a seagull throw up in public, or waiting for a late train) and
 you make eye contact, and some comment to each other, and then
 you guys are, like, ALLIES now. Like you would willingly ride to war
 to save them. You can't make eye contact again, but you are very
 aware of them
 , baffling and complex inner
 - just evidence of other people's rich
 lives
 happylilprompts
 This... I want to see more of this in writing. They're such giving
 details, I love it.
 quietnighty
 "evidence of other people's rich, baffling and complex inner
 lives" is exactly my very favorite thing to see in writing and media
 thanks @elodieunderglass and @happylilprompts. Why does
 realism in storytelling tend to focus on details of pain, fear, or horror
 and so rarely on these sorts of moments, which are just as universal
 and real. When did realistic become synonymous with awful, dark,
 and the abominable "gritty?
<p>These little things throughout the day</p>
                
            

            
            
<p>These little things throughout the day</p>

            
            
        

    



        

        
        

            






        

        
        

            






        

        
        

            






        

        
        

            






        

        
        

            






        

        
        

            






        

        
        

            






        

        
        

            






        

        
        

            






        

        
        

            






        

        
        

            






        

        
        

            






        

        
        

            






        

        
        

            






        

        
        

            






        

        
        

            







     mouthing: u/Em3PO 6d i.redd.it
 l give you the cutest photo I've ever taken of
 my pup.
U might date someone that is truly a nice person. Kind. Sweet. Sex game level = demon from hell who came to ruin u for all future partners 🤗. U feel me? Generous. Funny. But y'all fight. Y'all have discord. Y'all ain't on the same page. Y'all struggle. Y'all have them long text fights where u feel like a lawyer in a Brooks Brother suit in a federal courtroom but really u just on your West Elm sectional with the slightly busted leg leaning a lil bit while your dog keep you company and u furiously typing texts till your thumbs fall off while shoving scoops of your second Halo Top pint into your mouth. U love this person, but u hate them. There is no balance. Any small thing they do that is inconsiderate or could be construed to be so, u wil out and wanna kill them. What I've realized is, people are like food. If u have a nut allergy, u gon fuck around and eat a peanut and damn near suffocate and die a miserable, painful death. Someone who's not allergic gon eat that same peanut and be enriched and nutrified (yes I made that word up, deal with it 🤗). U feel me? Same food is toxic to one person and beneficial to another. The bottom line is, that person isn't arsenic - they ain't poison to all living creatures - they might just be poison to YOU because y'all ain't on the same page, were never on the same page, and never gon get on the same page (despite how hard y'all tried.) These are good people who u gotta block on all platforms and move on witchoe life because communication of any type gon fuck yo life up and u just gotta realize that not only can u not handle them by the handful, even one (1) nut could kill u 😂. Aight? Let that nut find another home. Her next partner might derive great benefit from that nut. Or he'll die a miserable death with four Epi Pens jammed into his thighs and 20 Benadryl in his system but if that's the case, it was his time 😢. YALL BE SAFE OUT THERE!! Bless up 😍😂😂😂
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                 mouthing: u/Em3PO 6d i.redd.it
 l give you the cutest photo I've ever taken of
 my pup.
U might date someone that is truly a nice person. Kind. Sweet. Sex game level = demon from hell who came to ruin u for all future partners 🤗. U feel me? Generous. Funny. But y'all fight. Y'all have discord. Y'all ain't on the same page. Y'all struggle. Y'all have them long text fights where u feel like a lawyer in a Brooks Brother suit in a federal courtroom but really u just on your West Elm sectional with the slightly busted leg leaning a lil bit while your dog keep you company and u furiously typing texts till your thumbs fall off while shoving scoops of your second Halo Top pint into your mouth. U love this person, but u hate them. There is no balance. Any small thing they do that is inconsiderate or could be construed to be so, u wil out and wanna kill them. What I've realized is, people are like food. If u have a nut allergy, u gon fuck around and eat a peanut and damn near suffocate and die a miserable, painful death. Someone who's not allergic gon eat that same peanut and be enriched and nutrified (yes I made that word up, deal with it 🤗). U feel me? Same food is toxic to one person and beneficial to another. The bottom line is, that person isn't arsenic - they ain't poison to all living creatures - they might just be poison to YOU because y'all ain't on the same page, were never on the same page, and never gon get on the same page (despite how hard y'all tried.) These are good people who u gotta block on all platforms and move on witchoe life because communication of any type gon fuck yo life up and u just gotta realize that not only can u not handle them by the handful, even one (1) nut could kill u 😂. Aight? Let that nut find another home. Her next partner might derive great benefit from that nut. Or he'll die a miserable death with four Epi Pens jammed into his thighs and 20 Benadryl in his system but if that's the case, it was his time 😢. YALL BE SAFE OUT THERE!! Bless up 😍😂😂😂
                
            

            
            
U might date someone that is truly a nice person. Kind. Sweet. Sex game level = demon from hell who came to ruin u for all future partner...