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Beautiful, Bitch, and Boo: olivia joy @livvmaloney when I dropped everything to do some Brazilian man's English homework: all Verizon 10:00 PM _paulocaetano Today at 9:24 PM Done Hey Kitty girl I need some help Pleaseeee Yo Thank god Are u American? Yes I'm brazilian Here we have english class And i'm hang out with a cute guy I want to impress Write a message... . Verizon 10:00 PM Done paulocaetano If i impress him I can Kiss on this weekend Are you asking me how to impress him? 6) a-( ) Did / eat b-( ) Did / eaten you c-( ) Have /eaten d-( ) Have / eat a movie last Saturday 7) Mary a-( ) did watch b-( ) didn't watch C-( d-( ) didn't watched ) has watched March 8) He hasn't come here d-( ) already b-( )just 9) The cake is ready I have a-( ) already b-( ) yet prepared it { ) for d-( ) never at home last week 10) My father a-( ) has stayed have stayed d-( ) did stay to the USA last year 11) He a-( ) move b-( ) moved C-( ) has moved d-( ) did move twenty years. 12)r've lived here a-(since b-() yet c-( ) already d-( ) for O Reply Choose the correct alternative 1) Last year she a-( )did go b-( ) has gone to England on holiday c-( ) went d-( ) did went 2) I a-( ) have visited b-( ) visited a lot of interesting places yesterday C-( ) have visit d-( ) did visit 3) The students a-( ) saw b-( ) has seen a beautiful rainbow c-( ) have see d-( ) have seen 4) the man much money last night ? c-() Did / spend Write a message... . Verizon 10:00 PM Done paulocaetano 1) Last year she a-() did go b-( ) has gone to England on holiday c-( ) went d-( ) did went 2) 1 a-( ) have visited b-( ) visited a lot of interesting places yesterday c-《 ) have visit d-( ) did visit 3) The students a-( ) saw b-( ) has seen a beautiful rainbow c-f ) have see d-( ) have seen much money last night? ) Did / spend ) Has / spend the man a-( ) Did / spent b-( ) Has / spent c-( d-( some gifts for his children 5) He a-( ) has brought b-( ) has bring C-( ) brought d-f ) did bring Japanese food ? you already 6) a-( ) Did/ eat c-() Have / eatern d-( ) Have / eat Did/ eaten O Reply I need help in this shit I got u fam So u Will help me? Yes going to do it now for you One minute Thank Boo i knew New york's girls are the best one I'm from Rhode Island boo, even better Write a message... Verizon 10:00 PM Done paulocaetano I ask help for a cali chick and she block me What a bitch Yaas grl Omg grl U write U rock Write a message... livingwithdystonia: tiny-septic-box-sam: bornlucky: bonus: I’ve never seen this with the update and it makes it so much funnier did he do her Spanish homework!? I must know! Brazilians speak Portuguese.
Beautiful, Bitch, and Boo: olivia joy
 @livvmaloney
 when I dropped everything to do some
 Brazilian man's English homework:

 all Verizon
 10:00 PM
 _paulocaetano
 Today at 9:24 PM
 Done
 Hey Kitty girl
 I need some help
 Pleaseeee
 Yo
 Thank god
 Are u American?
 Yes
 I'm brazilian
 Here we have english class
 And i'm hang out with a cute guy
 I want to impress
 Write a message...

 . Verizon
 10:00 PM
 Done
 paulocaetano
 If i impress him
 I can Kiss on this weekend
 Are you asking me how to impress
 him?
 6)
 a-( ) Did / eat
 b-( ) Did / eaten
 you
 c-( ) Have /eaten
 d-( ) Have / eat
 a movie last Saturday
 7) Mary
 a-( ) did watch
 b-( ) didn't watch
 C-(
 d-(
 ) didn't watched
 ) has watched
 March
 8) He hasn't come here
 d-( ) already
 b-( )just
 9) The cake is ready I have
 a-( ) already
 b-( ) yet
 prepared it
 { ) for
 d-( ) never
 at home last week
 10) My father
 a-( ) has stayed
 have stayed
 d-(
 ) did stay
 to the USA last year
 11) He
 a-( ) move
 b-( ) moved
 C-( ) has moved
 d-( ) did move
 twenty years.
 12)r've lived here
 a-(since
 b-() yet
 c-( ) already
 d-( ) for
 O Reply
 Choose the correct alternative
 1) Last year she
 a-( )did go
 b-( ) has gone
 to England on holiday
 c-( ) went
 d-( ) did went
 2) I
 a-( ) have visited
 b-( ) visited
 a lot of interesting places yesterday
 C-( ) have visit
 d-( ) did visit
 3) The students
 a-( ) saw
 b-( ) has seen
 a beautiful rainbow
 c-( ) have see
 d-( ) have seen
 4)
 the man
 much money last night ?
 c-() Did / spend
 Write a message...

 . Verizon
 10:00 PM
 Done
 paulocaetano
 1) Last year she
 a-() did go
 b-( ) has gone
 to England on holiday
 c-( ) went
 d-( ) did went
 2) 1
 a-( ) have visited
 b-( ) visited
 a lot of interesting places yesterday
 c-《 ) have visit
 d-( ) did visit
 3) The students
 a-( ) saw
 b-( ) has seen
 a beautiful rainbow
 c-f ) have see
 d-( ) have seen
 much money last night?
 ) Did / spend
 ) Has / spend
 the man
 a-( ) Did / spent
 b-( ) Has / spent
 c-(
 d-(
 some gifts for his children
 5) He
 a-( ) has brought
 b-( ) has bring
 C-( ) brought
 d-f ) did bring
 Japanese food ?
 you already
 6)
 a-( ) Did/ eat
 c-() Have / eatern
 d-( ) Have / eat
 Did/ eaten
 O Reply
 I need help in this shit
 I got u fam
 So u Will help me?
 Yes going to do it now for you
 One minute
 Thank Boo i knew New york's girls
 are the best one
 I'm from Rhode Island boo, even
 better
 Write a message...

 Verizon
 10:00 PM
 Done
 paulocaetano
 I ask help for a cali chick and she
 block me
 What a bitch
 Yaas grl
 Omg grl
 U write
 U rock
 Write a message...
livingwithdystonia:

tiny-septic-box-sam:
bornlucky:

bonus:



I’ve never seen this with the update and it makes it so much funnier

did he do her Spanish homework!? I must know!

Brazilians speak Portuguese.

livingwithdystonia: tiny-septic-box-sam: bornlucky: bonus: I’ve never seen this with the update and it makes it so much funnier did he...

Friends, Head, and Movies: If a class was filled with every programming language, who would each programming language be? Assembly: He's the nerd. He speaks very quickly and uses short sentences. Very few people talk to him. He's considered to be an autist asperger by a majority of the class because he finishes the exams so quickly it's insane and he faces a lot of difficulties in speaking with others. He's at school but already dressed like an engineer Ada: She's a foureyes nerd. When she gets the answer shes doesn't make any mistake. Ada often corrects the teacher when she writes a line a little ambiguous. She's building a rocketship in her backyard and she's always speaking about this weird hobby Python: He's Mr Popular. He likes skate, brags about all the parties he's invited to. He's good in all the subjects taught in class but he'll do them a bit slower than the others. Everyone loves him because he explains things so well, sometimes the teacher herself asks Python to explain some part of the course. He's dressed with a hoodie, a baggy and glasses on the top of the head Java: She is one of the toppers of the class and very popular She's very good in all the topics. The teacher loves her but she's a very talkative person. Scala/Kotlin: They are twin sisters and the best friends of Java. Unfortunately, they are not as popular and it's often Java who takes the lead in the group. It's very difficult to distinguish one from another. Both are far less talkative than Java but Scala speaks a bit differently than Kotlin and Java C: He's the topper of the class. He's so fast in completing the exams that the teacher really thinks he's copying Assembly's work. He has a little brother C++ and they share a lot in common together. He's the chess major and often plays chess with Assembly and his big brother Go: He's the new kid on the bloc. He doesn't like C++ and his friends and he wants to prove he can do better than them. Of course, he prefers playing Go over Chess APL: He's a lonely guy. No one understands him when he speaks. Even the teacher is surprised when APL shows a correct answer after several lines of incomprehensible pictograms. People think that he was born in a foreign country... or a foreign planet? HTML/CSS: These twin brothers are very different. One is dressed in black and white and the other is dressed with everything except black and white. HTML is very talkative and annoying and the CSS is very artistic. CSS is the best student in Art lessons and HTML performs well in written expression. LaTeX: She's friend of HTML. The teacher likes her because she has a gift of writing. LaTeX likes the mathematical courses because she can draw fancy greek letters. The teacher knows this well and she is often asked to write a formula on the black board VBA: He's in the back, looking through the windows. Not really interested in the courses taught in class. In the exams he answers always with a table C#: He's in the back playing yet another game on his smartphone. He likes being next to the windows also JavaScript: People often mix up Java and JavaScript because they have a similar name. But they are definitly not the same. Javascript spends a lot of time with HTML and CSS. He's as artistic as CSS but he prefers things that move He likes actions and movies. CSS dreams to be a painter wheras JavaScript wants to be a film-maker Haskell: He's a goth. Dressed up in dark. Doesn't talk to anyone. He doesn't understand why others write pages when he can write a couple of lines to answer the same question Julia: She's the newest student here. She doesn't have any friends yet but her secret aim is to be as popular as Python and as fast as C If Programming Language were students. Found on Quora
Friends, Head, and Movies: If a class was filled with every programming language, who
 would each programming language be?
 Assembly: He's the nerd. He speaks very quickly and uses
 short sentences. Very few people talk to him. He's considered
 to be an autist asperger by a majority of the class because he
 finishes the exams so quickly it's insane and he faces a lot of
 difficulties in speaking with others. He's at school but already
 dressed like an engineer
 Ada: She's a foureyes nerd. When she gets the answer shes
 doesn't make any mistake. Ada often corrects the teacher
 when she writes a line a little ambiguous. She's building a
 rocketship in her backyard and she's always speaking about
 this weird hobby
 Python: He's Mr Popular. He likes skate, brags about all the
 parties he's invited to. He's good in all the subjects taught in
 class but he'll do them a bit slower than the others. Everyone
 loves him because he explains things so well, sometimes the
 teacher herself asks Python to explain some part of the
 course. He's dressed with a hoodie, a baggy and glasses on
 the top of the head
 Java: She is one of the toppers of the class and very popular
 She's very good in all the topics. The teacher loves her but
 she's a very talkative person.
 Scala/Kotlin: They are twin sisters and the best friends of
 Java. Unfortunately, they are not as popular and it's often
 Java who takes the lead in the group. It's very difficult to
 distinguish one from another. Both are far less talkative than
 Java but Scala speaks a bit differently than Kotlin and Java
 C: He's the topper of the class. He's so fast in completing the
 exams that the teacher really thinks he's copying Assembly's
 work. He has a little brother C++ and they share a lot in
 common together. He's the chess major and often plays
 chess with Assembly and his big brother
 Go: He's the new kid on the bloc. He doesn't like C++ and his
 friends and he wants to prove he can do better than them. Of
 course, he prefers playing Go over Chess
 APL: He's a lonely guy. No one understands him when he
 speaks. Even the teacher is surprised when APL shows a
 correct answer after several lines of incomprehensible
 pictograms. People think that he was born in a foreign
 country... or a foreign planet?
 HTML/CSS: These twin brothers are very different. One is
 dressed in black and white and the other is dressed with
 everything except black and white. HTML is very talkative and
 annoying and the CSS is very artistic. CSS is the best student
 in Art lessons and HTML performs well in written expression.
 LaTeX: She's friend of HTML. The teacher likes her because
 she has a gift of writing. LaTeX likes the mathematical
 courses because she can draw fancy greek letters. The
 teacher knows this well and she is often asked to write a
 formula on the black board
 VBA: He's in the back, looking through the windows. Not
 really interested in the courses taught in class. In the exams
 he answers always with a table
 C#: He's in the back playing yet another game on his
 smartphone. He likes being next to the windows also
 JavaScript: People often mix up Java and JavaScript
 because they have a similar name. But they are definitly not
 the same. Javascript spends a lot of time with HTML and
 CSS. He's as artistic as CSS but he prefers things that move
 He likes actions and movies. CSS dreams to be a painter
 wheras JavaScript wants to be a film-maker
 Haskell: He's a goth. Dressed up in dark. Doesn't talk to
 anyone. He doesn't understand why others write pages when
 he can write a couple of lines to answer the same question
 Julia: She's the newest student here. She doesn't have any
 friends yet but her secret aim is to be as popular as Python
 and as fast as C
If Programming Language were students. Found on Quora

If Programming Language were students. Found on Quora

Advice, College, and Fresh: How many Tme FAILED iMes To Secome Sw cCessf e@cEoCHARLTE gce FATLED FAILED 2002fashion n Hots & erey) 2003erchol Online Serth Engine) Spit%Gome Con (xop Hop music Site FAILED 2605-2007 2007-2 YFTLED 007-20os SYG management (Arist Menagement coy) %- Now Travs Porter Street ket cess 2olo-Now Multi atium Record ceocharlie It took me 7 years of failure to become an over night success... I wanted to use this as motivation for everyone who has been trying and has those thoughts of quitting... You have to keep going! Each failure set me up for my next step. Every step of the way hurt... Each time I had to move on... Especially in 2007 when I dropped out of college to become a camera man for soulja boy. I dropped just about everything in my life to chase an opportunity Just 4-5 months later I got fired... Fell flat on my face. That is when I wanted to go into artist management. I signed a girl group and got them a record deal with Interscope records.... thought at that point my life was about to change! About 5 months later they let me go as their manager for "Ciara's" manager back then. I just couldn't get anywhere... Kept falling flat on my face....But I picked myself back up.. Pulled myself out of my depression and met "Travis Porter" this same week 8 years ago. I finally got my first success in business! After years of passing out Cds with my own 2 hands with my business partners... We have gone on to sell millions and millions in music with our company street execs with Travis Porter, 2 Chainz, bankroll fresh, young Dolph and many others.... We've been nominated for Grammys and have had 8 world tours. It simply takes time... Use my story as your motivation... My advice to you is... Make mistakes faster... And get up stronger! Share this with a friend gucci-flipflops: Motivation
Advice, College, and Fresh: How many Tme
 FAILED
 iMes
 To Secome Sw cCessf
 e@cEoCHARLTE
 gce FATLED
 FAILED
 2002fashion n
 Hots & erey)
 2003erchol
 Online Serth Engine)
 Spit%Gome Con
 (xop Hop music Site
 FAILED
 2605-2007
 2007-2 YFTLED
 007-20os SYG management
 (Arist Menagement coy)
 %- Now Travs Porter Street ket
 cess
 2olo-Now
 Multi atium Record

 ceocharlie It took me 7 years of failure to become an
 over night success... I wanted to use this as
 motivation for everyone who has been trying and has
 those thoughts of quitting... You have to keep going!
 Each failure set me up for my next step. Every step of
 the way hurt... Each time I had to move on...
 Especially in 2007 when I dropped out of college to
 become a camera man for soulja boy. I dropped just
 about everything in my life to chase an opportunity
 Just 4-5 months later I got fired... Fell flat on my face.
 That is when I wanted to go into artist management. I
 signed a girl group and got them a record deal with
 Interscope records.... thought at that point my life
 was about to change! About 5 months later they let
 me go as their manager for "Ciara's" manager back
 then. I just couldn't get anywhere... Kept falling flat on
 my face....But I picked myself back up.. Pulled
 myself out of my depression and met "Travis Porter"
 this same week 8 years ago. I finally got my first
 success in business! After years of passing out Cds
 with my own 2 hands with my business partners...
 We have gone on to sell millions and millions in
 music with our company street execs with Travis
 Porter, 2 Chainz, bankroll fresh, young Dolph and
 many others.... We've been nominated for Grammys

 and have had 8 world tours. It simply takes time...
 Use my story as your motivation... My advice to you
 is... Make mistakes faster... And get up stronger!
 Share this with a friend
gucci-flipflops:

Motivation

gucci-flipflops: Motivation

Community, Drunk, and Dude: SOME DUDE WAS HANGING ALL OVER HER, SO WE TOOK OFF ■ ■ and got her to leave with us. She was drunk and we didn't trust him. KE Visit us at www.facebook.com/MakeYourMoveMissoula for tips and events to help keep your friends and community safe from sexual violence. END SEXUAL VIOLENCE A message from Missoula's Intervention in Action Project. This projoct was supported by grant no. 2008 WR-AX-0008 awarded by the Office of Violence Against Women, U.S Department of Justico. The opinions recommendations esprossed n this pablication aro those of the authonist and do not neccssarily represent the views of the granto ICOULD TELL SHE WAS ASKING to stop. So l stepped in and told my buddy that was no way to treat a lady. And he backed off. Visit us at www.facebook.com/Make YourMoveMissoula for tips and events to help keep your friends and community safe from sexual violence. END SEXUAL VIOLENCE A message from Missoula's Intervention in Action Projec This project was supported by grant no. 2008 w R АХО008 awarded by the Office of Volence Against women US Department of Jusace. The opinions, findings con recommendations espressed in this publication are those of the authorls) and do not necessarily represent the views of the grantor HE WAS ACTING ALL SWEET, OFFERING HER A but it just didn't feel right. So my friends and I stepped in and got her out of the bar. MAKE Visit us at www.facebook.com/Make YourMoveMissoula for tips and events to help keep your friends and community safe from sexual violence END SEXUAL VIOLENCE A message from Missoula's Intervention in Action Project This project was supported by grant no. 2008-WR-AX-0008 awarde recommandations opres SHE WAS ON HER OWN, SO I MADE MY MOVE ■ ■ ■ and told the guys hassling her to back off. They were really crossing the line. MAKE YOUR Visit us at www.facebook.com/Make YourMoveMissoula for tips and events to help keep your friends and community safe from sexual violence. END SEXUAL VIOLENCE A message from Missoula's Intervention in Action Project. et was suppo ted by grant no 2008 wRA·0008 warded bytie olice et ve ence Against wor enu s Depa tn eat oDist ca nt ope ins findings arch sions and racana mendah) ns 0prossad įa1hs publication are those of the authors) and d. not necessarily represent the views of the ฮ,antor This P atleastiamme: ethiopienne: Make Your Move is an effort from Missoula’s Intervention in Action Project, a group of community organizations dedicated to ending sexual violence. Its campaign’s goals are to: 1) Engage men and women as allies to prevent sexual violence by increasing awareness and education about the dynamics of sexual violence and 2) Encourage bystanders to foster healthy non-violent relationships and interrupt attitudes, language and actions that support sexual violence. Reblogging this so hard
Community, Drunk, and Dude: SOME
 DUDE WAS
 HANGING
 ALL OVER
 HER, SO
 WE TOOK
 OFF
 ■ ■ and got her to leave with us.
 She was drunk and we didn't
 trust him.
 KE
 Visit us at www.facebook.com/MakeYourMoveMissoula
 for tips and events to help keep your friends and community
 safe from sexual violence. END SEXUAL VIOLENCE
 A message from Missoula's Intervention in Action Project.
 This projoct was supported by grant no. 2008 WR-AX-0008 awarded by the Office of Violence Against Women, U.S Department of
 Justico. The opinions
 recommendations esprossed n this pablication aro those of the authonist and do not neccssarily represent the views of the granto

 ICOULD
 TELL
 SHE WAS
 ASKING
 to stop. So l stepped in and told
 my buddy that was no way to
 treat a lady. And he backed off.
 Visit us at www.facebook.com/Make YourMoveMissoula
 for tips and events to help keep your friends and community
 safe from sexual violence.
 END SEXUAL VIOLENCE
 A message from Missoula's Intervention in Action Projec
 This project was supported by grant no. 2008 w R АХО008 awarded by the Office of Volence Against women US Department of Jusace. The opinions, findings con
 recommendations espressed in this publication are those of the authorls) and do not necessarily represent the views of the grantor

 HE WAS
 ACTING
 ALL SWEET,
 OFFERING
 HER A
 but it just didn't feel right.
 So my friends and I stepped in
 and got her out of the bar.
 MAKE
 Visit us at www.facebook.com/Make YourMoveMissoula
 for tips and events to help keep your friends and community
 safe from sexual violence END SEXUAL VIOLENCE
 A message from Missoula's Intervention in Action Project
 This project was supported by grant no. 2008-WR-AX-0008 awarde
 recommandations opres

 SHE WAS
 ON HER
 OWN, SO
 I MADE MY
 MOVE
 ■ ■ ■ and told the guys hassling her
 to back off. They were really
 crossing the line.
 MAKE
 YOUR
 Visit us at www.facebook.com/Make YourMoveMissoula
 for tips and events to help keep your friends and community
 safe from sexual violence. END SEXUAL VIOLENCE
 A message from Missoula's Intervention in Action Project.
 et was suppo ted by grant no 2008 wRA·0008 warded bytie olice et ve ence Against wor enu s Depa tn eat oDist ca nt ope ins findings arch sions and
 racana mendah) ns 0prossad įa1hs publication are those of the authors) and d. not necessarily represent the views of the ฮ,antor
 This P
atleastiamme:
ethiopienne:

Make Your Move is an effort from Missoula’s Intervention in Action Project, a group of community organizations dedicated to ending sexual violence. Its campaign’s goals are to: 1) Engage men and women as allies to prevent sexual violence by increasing awareness and education about the dynamics of sexual violence and 2) Encourage bystanders to foster healthy non-violent relationships and interrupt attitudes, language and actions that support sexual violence.

Reblogging this so hard

atleastiamme: ethiopienne: Make Your Move is an effort from Missoula’s Intervention in Action Project, a group of community organizations d...

Apparently, Bad, and Click: Strongly Slightly Not sure/in Slightly Strongly Disagree Disagree between Agree Agree 1. I feel discouraged about the way things are going. goodluckdetective: theseriouscynic: vanillayote: clinicallydepressedpug: jinxasaurus: draggle: slashmarks: rosalinarosee: angst420: tantefledermaus: fromonesurvivortoanother: telegantmess: angryflyingstar: angst420: job applications just keep getting weirder….. pro jobseeking tip: never answer these surveys honestly also a tip: if they have a question like “Everybody steals from work sometimes” answer “disagree.” I found this out when i was working as a hiring manager and the company i worked for started instituting these tests for managerial hires or promotions. My boss and I were promoting someone and she failed the test because she answered that question as “slightly agree” which in the results tells them that she is someone likely to steal because she believes everyone does it. When we asked her about her answer, it turns out she picked what she did because she’s cynical and does assume that people steal but didnt agree with them doing so. she almost sued the company for not promoting her based on that but chose to leave instead. We lost a good employee because corporate decided these tests were a good way to screen for “good” employees.tldr these things are poorly designed, ambiguously worded, and structured in ways that are designed to eliminate people because the intention of the questions is never made clear. these tests are evil. this sounds like an ableist disaster for people who aren’t neurotypical and who struggle with reading signals   When I went to get diagnosed with ADHD, the neuropsychologist couldn’t figure out what was going on, because on paper I’m apparently floridly psychotic.  No, the questions are imprecise, and I am hyper-literal and extremely honest.   “Do you often see things that other people do not see?”  Yes.       The question I was answering:  “Are you especially observant?”      The question the test was actually asking:  “Are you having visual hallucinations?”  “Does your environment ever have special messages for you?”  Yes.        The question I was answering:  “Does the sudden sight of a rainbow during a    bout of doubt and self-loathing make you feel as though the world is trying to cheer you up?”       The question the test was actually asking:  “Do you believe that your toaster is trying to convince you that the neighbors are spying on you?” Five years later, I bombed a psych eval for a park ranger job for the same sort of thing.  Tread carefully, darlings.   ^^^^ that is actually such a huge issue with diagnosis!!!! and I’ve thought I didn’t experience symptoms for ages that I actually clearly had all along because of things being phrased super weirdly and confusingly :( And this is why McDonald’s never called me after I applied Yeah, this is why this kind of thing in job apps needs to be illegal. A lot of discrimination is well hidden. Oh! That explains why even having friends and my then-husband proofread these every time didn’t even work. They may not be as weird as me, but they’re not neurotypical. We all read the questions tantefledermaus mentioned as observational skills! Fuck. This explains why I’ve failed all of these fucking things. My sister said to answer these as if you were a really passive person who relied on management/authority to tell you exactly what to do/think. Protip: my Dad is a hiring manager at Home Depot and he told me the system they use (with the stupidass pointless 500 question quiz) is designed so it filters out people with neutral answers. Several months ago I applied for numerous jobs, each of which required their own dumbass tests. To save time (and my sanity) i would click the “sometimes” or middle option for nearly every question unless it was serious. Nobody every called me back. Hell only 1 of the 8 places i applied to even messaged me back saying “thank you but we have gone with someone else”. Your applications wont even get seen unless you “pass” the quiz. So when all yall do fill out these dumb things be sure to pick strong yes or no answers. Never “maybe” or “slighty agree/disagree” Thank you for that, cause I do that a lot. Like I legit feel neutral on some of those questions. Tumblr with the life hacks It’s really bad for someone who isn’t neurotypical because often, these questions do contain language meant to filter us out. For me, I tend to notice the ones meant to filter out people with ADD, like myself. For example “do you have trouble focusing on one task” or “do you like to move around.” My normal answers to these would be “yes, but I have it under control” and “of course, no one can sit still for hours”. But corporations read them as “do not hire” It’s a bunch of BS. So I answer them like a yes man from office space. Works pretty well.
Apparently, Bad, and Click: Strongly Slightly Not sure/in Slightly Strongly
 Disagree Disagree between Agree
 Agree
 1. I feel discouraged about the way things are going.
goodluckdetective:
theseriouscynic:

vanillayote:

clinicallydepressedpug:

jinxasaurus:

draggle:

slashmarks:

rosalinarosee:

angst420:

tantefledermaus:

fromonesurvivortoanother:

telegantmess:

angryflyingstar:

angst420:

job applications just keep getting weirder…..

pro jobseeking tip: never answer these surveys honestly

also a tip: if they have a question like “Everybody steals from work sometimes” answer “disagree.” I found this out when i was working as a hiring manager and the company i worked for started instituting these tests for managerial hires or promotions. My boss and I were promoting someone and she failed the test because she answered that question as “slightly agree” which in the results tells them that she is someone likely to steal because she believes everyone does it. When we asked her about her answer, it turns out she picked what she did because she’s cynical and does assume that people steal but didnt agree with them doing so. she almost sued the company for not promoting her based on that but chose to leave instead. We lost a good employee because corporate decided these tests were a good way to screen for “good” employees.tldr these things are poorly designed, ambiguously worded, and structured in ways that are designed to eliminate people because the intention of the questions is never made clear. these tests are evil.

this sounds like an ableist disaster for people who aren’t neurotypical and who struggle with reading signals 

 When I went to get diagnosed with ADHD, the neuropsychologist couldn’t figure out what was going on, because on paper I’m apparently floridly psychotic.  No, the questions are imprecise, and I am hyper-literal and extremely honest.  
“Do you often see things that other people do not see?”  Yes. 
     The question I was answering:  “Are you especially observant?”
     The question the test was actually asking:  “Are you having visual hallucinations?” 
“Does your environment ever have special messages for you?”  Yes.  
     The question I was answering:  “Does the sudden sight of a rainbow during a    bout of doubt and self-loathing make you feel as though the world is trying to cheer you up?”
      The question the test was actually asking:  “Do you believe that your toaster is trying to convince you that the neighbors are spying on you?”
Five years later, I bombed a psych eval for a park ranger job for the same sort of thing.  Tread carefully, darlings.  

^^^^ that is actually such a huge issue with diagnosis!!!! and I’ve thought I didn’t experience symptoms for ages that I actually clearly had all along because of things being phrased super weirdly and confusingly :(

And this is why McDonald’s never called me after I applied

Yeah, this is why this kind of thing in job apps needs to be illegal. A lot of discrimination is well hidden.

Oh!  That explains why even having friends and my then-husband proofread these every time didn’t even work.  They may not be as weird as me, but they’re not neurotypical.  We all read the questions tantefledermaus mentioned as observational skills!

Fuck. This explains why I’ve failed all of these fucking things.

My sister said to answer these as if you were a really passive person who relied on management/authority to tell you exactly what to do/think. 

Protip: my Dad is a hiring manager at Home Depot and he told me the system they use (with the stupidass pointless 500 question quiz) is designed so it filters out people with neutral answers. Several months ago I applied for numerous jobs, each of which required their own dumbass tests. To save time (and my sanity) i would click the “sometimes” or middle option for nearly every question unless it was serious. Nobody every called me back. Hell only 1 of the 8 places i applied to even messaged me back saying “thank you but we have gone with someone else”. Your applications wont even get seen unless you “pass” the quiz. 
So when all yall do fill out these dumb things be sure to pick strong yes or no answers. Never “maybe” or “slighty agree/disagree”

Thank you for that, cause I do that a lot. Like I legit feel neutral on some of those questions. Tumblr with the life hacks

It’s really bad for someone who isn’t neurotypical because often, these questions do contain language meant to filter us out.
For me, I tend to notice the ones meant to filter out people with ADD, like myself. For example “do you have trouble focusing on one task” or “do you like to move around.” My normal answers to these would be “yes, but I have it under control” and “of course, no one can sit still for hours”. But corporations read them as “do not hire”
It’s a bunch of BS. So I answer them like a yes man from office space. Works pretty well.

goodluckdetective: theseriouscynic: vanillayote: clinicallydepressedpug: jinxasaurus: draggle: slashmarks: rosalinarosee: angst420: ...

Apparently, Bad, and Click: Strongly Slightly Not sure/in Slightly Strongly Disagree Disagree between Agree Agree 1. I feel discouraged about the way things are going. goodluckdetective: theseriouscynic: vanillayote: clinicallydepressedpug: jinxasaurus: draggle: slashmarks: rosalinarosee: angst420: tantefledermaus: fromonesurvivortoanother: telegantmess: angryflyingstar: angst420: job applications just keep getting weirder….. pro jobseeking tip: never answer these surveys honestly also a tip: if they have a question like “Everybody steals from work sometimes” answer “disagree.” I found this out when i was working as a hiring manager and the company i worked for started instituting these tests for managerial hires or promotions. My boss and I were promoting someone and she failed the test because she answered that question as “slightly agree” which in the results tells them that she is someone likely to steal because she believes everyone does it. When we asked her about her answer, it turns out she picked what she did because she’s cynical and does assume that people steal but didnt agree with them doing so. she almost sued the company for not promoting her based on that but chose to leave instead. We lost a good employee because corporate decided these tests were a good way to screen for “good” employees.tldr these things are poorly designed, ambiguously worded, and structured in ways that are designed to eliminate people because the intention of the questions is never made clear. these tests are evil. this sounds like an ableist disaster for people who aren’t neurotypical and who struggle with reading signals   When I went to get diagnosed with ADHD, the neuropsychologist couldn’t figure out what was going on, because on paper I’m apparently floridly psychotic.  No, the questions are imprecise, and I am hyper-literal and extremely honest.   “Do you often see things that other people do not see?”  Yes.       The question I was answering:  “Are you especially observant?”      The question the test was actually asking:  “Are you having visual hallucinations?”  “Does your environment ever have special messages for you?”  Yes.        The question I was answering:  “Does the sudden sight of a rainbow during a    bout of doubt and self-loathing make you feel as though the world is trying to cheer you up?”       The question the test was actually asking:  “Do you believe that your toaster is trying to convince you that the neighbors are spying on you?” Five years later, I bombed a psych eval for a park ranger job for the same sort of thing.  Tread carefully, darlings.   ^^^^ that is actually such a huge issue with diagnosis!!!! and I’ve thought I didn’t experience symptoms for ages that I actually clearly had all along because of things being phrased super weirdly and confusingly :( And this is why McDonald’s never called me after I applied Yeah, this is why this kind of thing in job apps needs to be illegal. A lot of discrimination is well hidden. Oh! That explains why even having friends and my then-husband proofread these every time didn’t even work. They may not be as weird as me, but they’re not neurotypical. We all read the questions tantefledermaus mentioned as observational skills! Fuck. This explains why I’ve failed all of these fucking things. My sister said to answer these as if you were a really passive person who relied on management/authority to tell you exactly what to do/think. Protip: my Dad is a hiring manager at Home Depot and he told me the system they use (with the stupidass pointless 500 question quiz) is designed so it filters out people with neutral answers. Several months ago I applied for numerous jobs, each of which required their own dumbass tests. To save time (and my sanity) i would click the “sometimes” or middle option for nearly every question unless it was serious. Nobody every called me back. Hell only 1 of the 8 places i applied to even messaged me back saying “thank you but we have gone with someone else”. Your applications wont even get seen unless you “pass” the quiz. So when all yall do fill out these dumb things be sure to pick strong yes or no answers. Never “maybe” or “slighty agree/disagree” Thank you for that, cause I do that a lot. Like I legit feel neutral on some of those questions. Tumblr with the life hacks It’s really bad for someone who isn’t neurotypical because often, these questions do contain language meant to filter us out. For me, I tend to notice the ones meant to filter out people with ADD, like myself. For example “do you have trouble focusing on one task” or “do you like to move around.” My normal answers to these would be “yes, but I have it under control” and “of course, no one can sit still for hours”. But corporations read them as “do not hire” It’s a bunch of BS. So I answer them like a yes man from office space. Works pretty well.
Apparently, Bad, and Click: Strongly Slightly Not sure/in Slightly Strongly
 Disagree Disagree between Agree
 Agree
 1. I feel discouraged about the way things are going.
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job applications just keep getting weirder…..

pro jobseeking tip: never answer these surveys honestly

also a tip: if they have a question like “Everybody steals from work sometimes” answer “disagree.” I found this out when i was working as a hiring manager and the company i worked for started instituting these tests for managerial hires or promotions. My boss and I were promoting someone and she failed the test because she answered that question as “slightly agree” which in the results tells them that she is someone likely to steal because she believes everyone does it. When we asked her about her answer, it turns out she picked what she did because she’s cynical and does assume that people steal but didnt agree with them doing so. she almost sued the company for not promoting her based on that but chose to leave instead. We lost a good employee because corporate decided these tests were a good way to screen for “good” employees.tldr these things are poorly designed, ambiguously worded, and structured in ways that are designed to eliminate people because the intention of the questions is never made clear. these tests are evil.

this sounds like an ableist disaster for people who aren’t neurotypical and who struggle with reading signals 

 When I went to get diagnosed with ADHD, the neuropsychologist couldn’t figure out what was going on, because on paper I’m apparently floridly psychotic.  No, the questions are imprecise, and I am hyper-literal and extremely honest.  
“Do you often see things that other people do not see?”  Yes. 
     The question I was answering:  “Are you especially observant?”
     The question the test was actually asking:  “Are you having visual hallucinations?” 
“Does your environment ever have special messages for you?”  Yes.  
     The question I was answering:  “Does the sudden sight of a rainbow during a    bout of doubt and self-loathing make you feel as though the world is trying to cheer you up?”
      The question the test was actually asking:  “Do you believe that your toaster is trying to convince you that the neighbors are spying on you?”
Five years later, I bombed a psych eval for a park ranger job for the same sort of thing.  Tread carefully, darlings.  

^^^^ that is actually such a huge issue with diagnosis!!!! and I’ve thought I didn’t experience symptoms for ages that I actually clearly had all along because of things being phrased super weirdly and confusingly :(

And this is why McDonald’s never called me after I applied

Yeah, this is why this kind of thing in job apps needs to be illegal. A lot of discrimination is well hidden.

Oh!  That explains why even having friends and my then-husband proofread these every time didn’t even work.  They may not be as weird as me, but they’re not neurotypical.  We all read the questions tantefledermaus mentioned as observational skills!

Fuck. This explains why I’ve failed all of these fucking things.

My sister said to answer these as if you were a really passive person who relied on management/authority to tell you exactly what to do/think. 

Protip: my Dad is a hiring manager at Home Depot and he told me the system they use (with the stupidass pointless 500 question quiz) is designed so it filters out people with neutral answers. Several months ago I applied for numerous jobs, each of which required their own dumbass tests. To save time (and my sanity) i would click the “sometimes” or middle option for nearly every question unless it was serious. Nobody every called me back. Hell only 1 of the 8 places i applied to even messaged me back saying “thank you but we have gone with someone else”. Your applications wont even get seen unless you “pass” the quiz. 
So when all yall do fill out these dumb things be sure to pick strong yes or no answers. Never “maybe” or “slighty agree/disagree”

Thank you for that, cause I do that a lot. Like I legit feel neutral on some of those questions. Tumblr with the life hacks

It’s really bad for someone who isn’t neurotypical because often, these questions do contain language meant to filter us out.
For me, I tend to notice the ones meant to filter out people with ADD, like myself. For example “do you have trouble focusing on one task” or “do you like to move around.” My normal answers to these would be “yes, but I have it under control” and “of course, no one can sit still for hours”. But corporations read them as “do not hire”
It’s a bunch of BS. So I answer them like a yes man from office space. Works pretty well.

goodluckdetective: theseriouscynic: vanillayote: clinicallydepressedpug: jinxasaurus: draggle: slashmarks: rosalinarosee: angst420: ...