mvp


                    
                    
                

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Af, Blessed, and Emoji: The best surprise passenger you can have next to you on a flight @DrSmashlove Now see bruv this used to be my favorite emoji: πŸ€—. He go by many names. Some call him Johnny Jazz Hands. I happen to call him Lil Smashington the IV, Chief Cheek Inspector, Sargeant Spreader the Nani Deader. U feel me? That’s what he doing. Opening them cheeks and delightedly admiring and inhaling the contents πŸ€—. But Lil Smashington has competition, bruv. Major competition. Because his Uncle Jameson Worthington VI of South Cambridgeshire bruv? Or Lil James Worthy aka the Monocle Maestro aka Scotland Yard’s Inspector of the Interior bruv? He ain’t just opening and peeking, bruv. Unc is inspecting every fold 🧐. Every skretch mark 🧐. Every lil cellulite dot 🧐. If he so much as spots an in-grown hair he gon annotate it in his Most Profitable and Efficient Bird Watching Journal; A Chronicle of Uncle Worthy’s Travels and Conquests, in which he records birds he sees in the wild such as cardinals and robin red breasts as well as birds he encounters in the bedroom 🧐. Lil Smashington basic AF bruv he get in the cheeks and he like β€œyum, sweet as sugar cane 😍.” Nah. Hells nah. Unc gon take a single taste and then fetch his notebook and quill pen and record the flavor notes for posterity: β€œSeventh of December, Two Thousand and Seventeen years after the birth of The Blessed Son of Mary. Name: Stephanie Smith. Age: approximately two score and three. Height: roughly one and one half oak barrels. Slender with supple bosom, posterior, ample hips, delightful countenance. Hair of auburn. Flavor notes: molasses; sugarplum; purΓ©e of mango; heavy whipping cream.” U feel me bruv? And Stephanie just gon sit patiently while Unc engages in his scientific field research, replaces his notebook in satchel and his quill pen in his ink well so he can go ham and bananington on the Nani πŸ—. Ladies and Gentlemen I have a patron saint. A spirit animal. Me, in emoji form. A true enjoyer of the female form in all its delightful complexity. Monocle Emoji, in a difficult year of pain and suffering in many pockets of the world, u bring hope and inspiration to the masses 🧐. Unc...U da real MVP πŸ§πŸ§πŸ§πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚
Af, Blessed, and Emoji: The best surprise passenger you can have
 next to you on a flight
 @DrSmashlove
Now see bruv this used to be my favorite emoji: πŸ€—. He go by many names. Some call him Johnny Jazz Hands. I happen to call him Lil Smashington the IV, Chief Cheek Inspector, Sargeant Spreader the Nani Deader. U feel me? That’s what he doing. Opening them cheeks and delightedly admiring and inhaling the contents πŸ€—. But Lil Smashington has competition, bruv. Major competition. Because his Uncle Jameson Worthington VI of South Cambridgeshire bruv? Or Lil James Worthy aka the Monocle Maestro aka Scotland Yard’s Inspector of the Interior bruv? He ain’t just opening and peeking, bruv. Unc is inspecting every fold 🧐. Every skretch mark 🧐. Every lil cellulite dot 🧐. If he so much as spots an in-grown hair he gon annotate it in his Most Profitable and Efficient Bird Watching Journal; A Chronicle of Uncle Worthy’s Travels and Conquests, in which he records birds he sees in the wild such as cardinals and robin red breasts as well as birds he encounters in the bedroom 🧐. Lil Smashington basic AF bruv he get in the cheeks and he like β€œyum, sweet as sugar cane 😍.” Nah. Hells nah. Unc gon take a single taste and then fetch his notebook and quill pen and record the flavor notes for posterity: β€œSeventh of December, Two Thousand and Seventeen years after the birth of The Blessed Son of Mary. Name: Stephanie Smith. Age: approximately two score and three. Height: roughly one and one half oak barrels. Slender with supple bosom, posterior, ample hips, delightful countenance. Hair of auburn. Flavor notes: molasses; sugarplum; purΓ©e of mango; heavy whipping cream.” U feel me bruv? And Stephanie just gon sit patiently while Unc engages in his scientific field research, replaces his notebook in satchel and his quill pen in his ink well so he can go ham and bananington on the Nani πŸ—. Ladies and Gentlemen I have a patron saint. A spirit animal. Me, in emoji form. A true enjoyer of the female form in all its delightful complexity. Monocle Emoji, in a difficult year of pain and suffering in many pockets of the world, u bring hope and inspiration to the masses 🧐. Unc...U da real MVP πŸ§πŸ§πŸ§πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

Now see bruv this used to be my favorite emoji: πŸ€—. He go by many names. Some call him Johnny Jazz Hands. I happen to call him Lil Smashingto...

Af, Bless Up, and College: She was an old dog when she moved in with us - nine years old at the time. Last month she turned old enough to be able to vote Shout to u ladies whose grammar and spelling turn poor AF when u s€xt!ng bruv. In fact when the grammar-spelling too on point and the punctuation is all in the right place it’s almost like wtf? If u so fired up how u typing so good ma sumting wong πŸ€”. Nah. Lemme see that urgency. β€œOmg daddy that would feel so goog please dady”. Yes ma’am! I’m there! This wasn’t no cut and paste! Stop it ladies I know some of y’all in the game like magazine editors out dis bih. Cosmopolitan Editor-in-Chief and sh*t bruv β€œ83 ways to please your man” lookin a$$, ol β€œLemme grab this perfect photograph with optimal lighting from when Obama was just elected and it was a better time and lemme pair it with this text that has worked 11 times before” and the man usually buy it just like β€œomg Karen you’re AMAZING lol heck πŸ˜β€. Nah. I be searching the room for clues. β€œThat Dell laptop look like a college joint ma. Freshman special lmao. Paid $899 at orientation at the campus bookstore lookin a$$. Lemme find out this pic is circa 2008. This pic turning 10 next year. We need to celebrate the taking of this pic ma u need to retire this pic...Nine years of service ma that pic need a pension and a retiree health care plan” πŸ˜‚. Nah. Send me a hastily worded text u typed with one hand (😍) and pair it with a pic where yo hair look a mess and u laying in bed talmbout β€œpardon the mess and pardon my cat he’s an a$$hole” send me THAT. All natural. U feel me? NOTHING AGAINST MAKEUP I LOVE U LADIES AND YALL ONE INCH THICK MAKEUP TUTORIAL EYEBROWS WITH THE MASTERFULLY DONE FADE BUT I ALSO LOVE U WITH YA NORMAL EYEBROWS, BAGS UNDER YA EYES, SKRETCH MARKS, NANI STUBBLE WITH THE SKRAGGLY BUCKSHOT STRAY SHORT HAIR RIGHT WHERE THE THIGH MEAT CREASES TO MEET THE NANI REGION (Lil Atticus Pubicus u doing the best u can u escaped the razor this time and u be gone by next time but u fought the good fight, u da real MVP πŸ…πŸ˜‚), CELLULITE, OTHER β€œimperfections”, I’LL TAKE ANY DAY OVER A PIC FROM WHEN JA RULE WAS SO HOT THAT JAY-Z MADE A MUSICAL GROUP WITH HIM (all u lil babies out there please google β€˜Murder Inc.’, this happened πŸ€—, don’t say smash never taught u nothing BLESS UP πŸ˜©πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚)
Af, Bless Up, and College: She was an old dog when she
 moved in with us - nine years
 old at the time. Last month she
 turned old enough to be able
 to vote
Shout to u ladies whose grammar and spelling turn poor AF when u s€xt!ng bruv. In fact when the grammar-spelling too on point and the punctuation is all in the right place it’s almost like wtf? If u so fired up how u typing so good ma sumting wong πŸ€”. Nah. Lemme see that urgency. β€œOmg daddy that would feel so goog please dady”. Yes ma’am! I’m there! This wasn’t no cut and paste! Stop it ladies I know some of y’all in the game like magazine editors out dis bih. Cosmopolitan Editor-in-Chief and sh*t bruv β€œ83 ways to please your man” lookin a$$, ol β€œLemme grab this perfect photograph with optimal lighting from when Obama was just elected and it was a better time and lemme pair it with this text that has worked 11 times before” and the man usually buy it just like β€œomg Karen you’re AMAZING lol heck πŸ˜β€. Nah. I be searching the room for clues. β€œThat Dell laptop look like a college joint ma. Freshman special lmao. Paid $899 at orientation at the campus bookstore lookin a$$. Lemme find out this pic is circa 2008. This pic turning 10 next year. We need to celebrate the taking of this pic ma u need to retire this pic...Nine years of service ma that pic need a pension and a retiree health care plan” πŸ˜‚. Nah. Send me a hastily worded text u typed with one hand (😍) and pair it with a pic where yo hair look a mess and u laying in bed talmbout β€œpardon the mess and pardon my cat he’s an a$$hole” send me THAT. All natural. U feel me? NOTHING AGAINST MAKEUP I LOVE U LADIES AND YALL ONE INCH THICK MAKEUP TUTORIAL EYEBROWS WITH THE MASTERFULLY DONE FADE BUT I ALSO LOVE U WITH YA NORMAL EYEBROWS, BAGS UNDER YA EYES, SKRETCH MARKS, NANI STUBBLE WITH THE SKRAGGLY BUCKSHOT STRAY SHORT HAIR RIGHT WHERE THE THIGH MEAT CREASES TO MEET THE NANI REGION (Lil Atticus Pubicus u doing the best u can u escaped the razor this time and u be gone by next time but u fought the good fight, u da real MVP πŸ…πŸ˜‚), CELLULITE, OTHER β€œimperfections”, I’LL TAKE ANY DAY OVER A PIC FROM WHEN JA RULE WAS SO HOT THAT JAY-Z MADE A MUSICAL GROUP WITH HIM (all u lil babies out there please google β€˜Murder Inc.’, this happened πŸ€—, don’t say smash never taught u nothing BLESS UP πŸ˜©πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚)

Shout to u ladies whose grammar and spelling turn poor AF when u s€xt!ng bruv. In fact when the grammar-spelling too on point and the punctu...

Ass, Chicago, and Christmas: Little kiss on the chick Pic: reddit u/anonimverse Ladies I love y'all lemme tell u why. I get into yo bedroom. We get to kissing. Right when I'm about to yank ya lil panties off what do u classy ladies say? "HOLD ON LEMME PEE 😁". Ain't no pee, bruv. She already peed. She bout to go freshen up the Nani bc that's what u classy girls do, y'all interrupt the foreplay to make sure ya joint smell, look and taste splendiferous before we sliiiiiide that tung deep inside. "Hold on lemme pee"? That little three or four minutes when u waiting for her bruv? Thass Christmas Eve. Anything could happen. NBA 2K18. Jordan 11s. Nerf Machine Gun. U feel me? She might come out of there bucky nekky. She might come out with lingerie on. Full body MF fishnet body suit (I'm really out here y'all I done seen it all 🌢). Shout to u ladies bruv. Heightening the tension. Creating intrigue. I swear y'all the real MVP. P.s. If u in a hotel with a girl and u see the little wet folded up face towel shoved under the sink that's the Nani freshener towel (FYI) every girl got that ImOnToYouLadies πŸ€—πŸ˜‚. P.p.s. Oh wait. Wait wait wait. Oh y'all thought I was done? Y'all thought I wasn't gon address them ladies that's gon go out to dinner ... drinks ... dancing for four hours ... after party ... and NOT stop me so she could freshen up the Nani before I go downtown James Brown? WELL GO HEAD ASF MAMI I FUX WITCHOE 12 HOUR MARINADE I'M FROM CHICAGO WE LOVE AGING THINGS 60 DAY AGED BONE-IN RIBEYE YES PLEASE THAT MUSKY, MUSHROOMY EARTHY PERFUMEY FRAGRANCE GET MY HEART RACING I AIN'T MAD AT YO NASTY ASS MAMA LEMME TASTE THE RAINBOW U BOUT TO BRING THE ANIMAL OUT REAL TALK FarmFreshDryAgedOrWetAged ItsAllWondrousToMe LemmeTasteIt AllOfIt BlessUp πŸ€—πŸ˜πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚
Ass, Chicago, and Christmas: Little kiss on the chick
 Pic: reddit u/anonimverse
Ladies I love y'all lemme tell u why. I get into yo bedroom. We get to kissing. Right when I'm about to yank ya lil panties off what do u classy ladies say? "HOLD ON LEMME PEE 😁". Ain't no pee, bruv. She already peed. She bout to go freshen up the Nani bc that's what u classy girls do, y'all interrupt the foreplay to make sure ya joint smell, look and taste splendiferous before we sliiiiiide that tung deep inside. "Hold on lemme pee"? That little three or four minutes when u waiting for her bruv? Thass Christmas Eve. Anything could happen. NBA 2K18. Jordan 11s. Nerf Machine Gun. U feel me? She might come out of there bucky nekky. She might come out with lingerie on. Full body MF fishnet body suit (I'm really out here y'all I done seen it all 🌢). Shout to u ladies bruv. Heightening the tension. Creating intrigue. I swear y'all the real MVP. P.s. If u in a hotel with a girl and u see the little wet folded up face towel shoved under the sink that's the Nani freshener towel (FYI) every girl got that ImOnToYouLadies πŸ€—πŸ˜‚. P.p.s. Oh wait. Wait wait wait. Oh y'all thought I was done? Y'all thought I wasn't gon address them ladies that's gon go out to dinner ... drinks ... dancing for four hours ... after party ... and NOT stop me so she could freshen up the Nani before I go downtown James Brown? WELL GO HEAD ASF MAMI I FUX WITCHOE 12 HOUR MARINADE I'M FROM CHICAGO WE LOVE AGING THINGS 60 DAY AGED BONE-IN RIBEYE YES PLEASE THAT MUSKY, MUSHROOMY EARTHY PERFUMEY FRAGRANCE GET MY HEART RACING I AIN'T MAD AT YO NASTY ASS MAMA LEMME TASTE THE RAINBOW U BOUT TO BRING THE ANIMAL OUT REAL TALK FarmFreshDryAgedOrWetAged ItsAllWondrousToMe LemmeTasteIt AllOfIt BlessUp πŸ€—πŸ˜πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

Ladies I love y'all lemme tell u why. I get into yo bedroom. We get to kissing. Right when I'm about to yank ya lil panties off what do u cl...

America, Cam Newton, and Carolina Panthers: #ThatsBaller: Cam Newton Ranks No. 2 for NFL Highest Paid Athletes of 2017 @balleralert Bank of America Stadium Bank of Ameri of America tadium Stadium of Amer tadium ri um me ThatsBaller: Cam Newton Ranks No. 2 for NFL Highest Paid Athletes of 2017-blogged by @thereal__bee β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β € β €β € NFL Baller CamNewton is now one of the highest paid NFL players of 2017 according to Forbes. β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β € β €β € The Carolina Panthers QB ranked in second place with earnings of $34.7 million this year, including $11 million which he made off the field. β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β € β €β € Newton's multi-million dollar contract was signed in 2015, just three months before his MVP season, when he led the Panthers to the Super Bowl. β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β € β €β € For this upcoming season, the Panthers will pay Newton $23.7 million. In addition to his NFL bucks, Newton also has some huge endorsement deals. β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β € β €β € Last year, Newton extended his partnerships with major brands like Danon, Beats, and Gatorade. He also partnered with Under Armour to produce a football cleat that remains the company's top selling shoe of that category. β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β € β €β € The athlete even decided to take his talents to the little screen after signing a production deal with Nickelodeon, where he hosted and produced the show 'I Wanna Be' where he worked with kids to make their dreams come true. β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β € β €β € Congratulations to Cam on this major accomplishment.
America, Cam Newton, and Carolina Panthers:  #ThatsBaller: Cam Newton Ranks No. 2
 for NFL Highest Paid Athletes of 2017
 @balleralert
 Bank of America
 Stadium
 Bank of Ameri
 of America
 tadium
 Stadium
 of Amer
 tadium
 ri
 um
 me
ThatsBaller: Cam Newton Ranks No. 2 for NFL Highest Paid Athletes of 2017-blogged by @thereal__bee β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β € β €β € NFL Baller CamNewton is now one of the highest paid NFL players of 2017 according to Forbes. β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β € β €β € The Carolina Panthers QB ranked in second place with earnings of $34.7 million this year, including $11 million which he made off the field. β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β € β €β € Newton's multi-million dollar contract was signed in 2015, just three months before his MVP season, when he led the Panthers to the Super Bowl. β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β € β €β € For this upcoming season, the Panthers will pay Newton $23.7 million. In addition to his NFL bucks, Newton also has some huge endorsement deals. β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β € β €β € Last year, Newton extended his partnerships with major brands like Danon, Beats, and Gatorade. He also partnered with Under Armour to produce a football cleat that remains the company's top selling shoe of that category. β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β € β €β € The athlete even decided to take his talents to the little screen after signing a production deal with Nickelodeon, where he hosted and produced the show 'I Wanna Be' where he worked with kids to make their dreams come true. β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β € β €β € Congratulations to Cam on this major accomplishment.

ThatsBaller: Cam Newton Ranks No. 2 for NFL Highest Paid Athletes of 2017-blogged by @thereal__bee β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β € β €β € NFL Baller CamNewton is now ...