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Af, Ass, and Bitch: That one shit where you gotta get ass naked and sit there and contemplate life and wonder if this stomach pain even worth it 0.0 BRUHHHHH I ALMOST FORGOT TO TELL THIS STORY. Ight so today I worked a 5-8 shift so I wasn’t really doing anything. I was just standing at front counter and suddenly one of my coworkers walks in. He wasn’t scheduled to work, but he just slid through to do his homework or whatever. So me and him having a conversation about whatever the fuck and these 2 African Americans, male and female amble into the store and they’re talking really loud. Like black girl in the mornings at school loud. It was kinda obvious they were arguing, and me and my coworker (I’ll call him Alex) could hear what they were saying as they stood in line. β€œWhat the fuck do you want?” So from my observations so far, they were dating and mans was frustrated with his girl. β€œQuit fucking rushing me damn.” β€œWe’ve been to 4 different places already YoQuiesha damn.” So the bitch name is YoQuiesha? Hawwww man πŸ’€ β€œRonny ion wanna hear yo fucking mouth right now.” So they stand there for like 3 mins straight and still haven’t gone up to the register. Ronny is visibly flustered and he keeps putting his hands on his head and pacing. Nigga was ready to swing. β€œYOQUIESHA!” This nigga said that shit so loud the whole store turned they head πŸ’€ this nigga Ronny hyperventilating like a 9 year old that just got his ass beat. But YoQuiesha came back with some heat: β€œRonny IM SICK AND TIRED of yo lil dick ass making a fucking scene like we in a goddamn play or some shit. And why the fuck you bring me to Chick Fil A and you only got 5 dollars? Nigga ain’t nobody eating shit here with 5 dollars.” First of all, she ain’t lying. Me and Alex just sitting there covering our mouths trying not to laugh πŸ’€ So idk if Ronny was embarrassed or what but he pulls his shorts up and walks fast af out the door😭😭😭 mans had enough word to my nigga Eugene. Anyways moral of the story is, Asians and white girls all 2018 >>>>
Af, Ass, and Bitch: That one shit where you gotta get
 ass naked and sit there and
 contemplate life and wonder if this
 stomach pain even worth it
 0.0
BRUHHHHH I ALMOST FORGOT TO TELL THIS STORY. Ight so today I worked a 5-8 shift so I wasn’t really doing anything. I was just standing at front counter and suddenly one of my coworkers walks in. He wasn’t scheduled to work, but he just slid through to do his homework or whatever. So me and him having a conversation about whatever the fuck and these 2 African Americans, male and female amble into the store and they’re talking really loud. Like black girl in the mornings at school loud. It was kinda obvious they were arguing, and me and my coworker (I’ll call him Alex) could hear what they were saying as they stood in line. β€œWhat the fuck do you want?” So from my observations so far, they were dating and mans was frustrated with his girl. β€œQuit fucking rushing me damn.” β€œWe’ve been to 4 different places already YoQuiesha damn.” So the bitch name is YoQuiesha? Hawwww man πŸ’€ β€œRonny ion wanna hear yo fucking mouth right now.” So they stand there for like 3 mins straight and still haven’t gone up to the register. Ronny is visibly flustered and he keeps putting his hands on his head and pacing. Nigga was ready to swing. β€œYOQUIESHA!” This nigga said that shit so loud the whole store turned they head πŸ’€ this nigga Ronny hyperventilating like a 9 year old that just got his ass beat. But YoQuiesha came back with some heat: β€œRonny IM SICK AND TIRED of yo lil dick ass making a fucking scene like we in a goddamn play or some shit. And why the fuck you bring me to Chick Fil A and you only got 5 dollars? Nigga ain’t nobody eating shit here with 5 dollars.” First of all, she ain’t lying. Me and Alex just sitting there covering our mouths trying not to laugh πŸ’€ So idk if Ronny was embarrassed or what but he pulls his shorts up and walks fast af out the door😭😭😭 mans had enough word to my nigga Eugene. Anyways moral of the story is, Asians and white girls all 2018 >>>>

BRUHHHHH I ALMOST FORGOT TO TELL THIS STORY. Ight so today I worked a 5-8 shift so I wasn’t really doing anything. I was just standing at fr...

Ariana Grande, Ass, and Beyonce: Beyonce: *breathes* 30 year old mothers and gay niggas: @jxremixh I think on Thursday or some shit my school has a motivational speaker come in and talk to all the students in that grade. They started this type of thing last year cause a lot of kids were killing themselves or something lol. Anyway the school deadass pays some middle aged balding white man to come in and talk to us about life and shit. Like nigga 99.9% of the kids in my grade wanna die lmaooo. Anyway last year all 900 kids in the sophomore class filed into the auditorium to listen to the speaker for 45 minutes straight. For the first like 30 minutes, I was fucking sleep. Shit was so boring bruh on my dead goldfish Jeremy. How you gon be a motivational speaker and sound like you wanna die yourself? Nigga voice was flatter than Ariana Grande ass. Anyway for the last 15 minutes, he took questions from the students. Now THIS is where it got interesting πŸ’€ So y’all know my nigga Aaron right? He wasn’t sitting next to me at the time but this nigga raises his hand. For some reason, they hand this nigga the microphone so the whole auditorium can hear it. β€œYeah I got one question. Let’s say you’re online dating a girl and when y’all meet up, she got a weewee bigger than yours. How do cope with that?” I mean yeah at first it was funny πŸ’€ but then security grabbed his ass and he got suspended for like a week. BUT THE NEXT FUCKING PERSON WHO RAISES THEIR HAND MAKES ME WANNA SET A FUCKING SHORT BUS ON FIRE. This bitch Sara , who’s right next to me, takes the microphone and as soon as she starts speaking I wanted to fucking die. Her voice would single handedly make suicide rates go up. β€œSo recently my brother passed away and-β€œ OH NAH πŸ’€ yo I’m so sorry but it was so hard not to fucking laugh I was almost crying. β€œ-and recently I’ve been really depressed and sometimes I even stare at the knives in my kitchen drawers and think about cutting myself-β€œ I COULDNT HOLD IT BRUH 😭😭 a nigga started DYINGGG as she was fucking talking 😭 she stops speaking and everybody starts staring at me. β€œIs something funny?” Omfg I wanted to punch her in the neck, I CANT STRESS HOW ANNOYING HER VOICE IS. Anyway I stop laughing and compose myself. β€œNah go ahead.” Bitch voice a whole genjutsu bruh
Ariana Grande, Ass, and Beyonce: Beyonce: *breathes*
 30 year old mothers and gay niggas:
 @jxremixh
I think on Thursday or some shit my school has a motivational speaker come in and talk to all the students in that grade. They started this type of thing last year cause a lot of kids were killing themselves or something lol. Anyway the school deadass pays some middle aged balding white man to come in and talk to us about life and shit. Like nigga 99.9% of the kids in my grade wanna die lmaooo. Anyway last year all 900 kids in the sophomore class filed into the auditorium to listen to the speaker for 45 minutes straight. For the first like 30 minutes, I was fucking sleep. Shit was so boring bruh on my dead goldfish Jeremy. How you gon be a motivational speaker and sound like you wanna die yourself? Nigga voice was flatter than Ariana Grande ass. Anyway for the last 15 minutes, he took questions from the students. Now THIS is where it got interesting πŸ’€ So y’all know my nigga Aaron right? He wasn’t sitting next to me at the time but this nigga raises his hand. For some reason, they hand this nigga the microphone so the whole auditorium can hear it. β€œYeah I got one question. Let’s say you’re online dating a girl and when y’all meet up, she got a weewee bigger than yours. How do cope with that?” I mean yeah at first it was funny πŸ’€ but then security grabbed his ass and he got suspended for like a week. BUT THE NEXT FUCKING PERSON WHO RAISES THEIR HAND MAKES ME WANNA SET A FUCKING SHORT BUS ON FIRE. This bitch Sara , who’s right next to me, takes the microphone and as soon as she starts speaking I wanted to fucking die. Her voice would single handedly make suicide rates go up. β€œSo recently my brother passed away and-β€œ OH NAH πŸ’€ yo I’m so sorry but it was so hard not to fucking laugh I was almost crying. β€œ-and recently I’ve been really depressed and sometimes I even stare at the knives in my kitchen drawers and think about cutting myself-β€œ I COULDNT HOLD IT BRUH 😭😭 a nigga started DYINGGG as she was fucking talking 😭 she stops speaking and everybody starts staring at me. β€œIs something funny?” Omfg I wanted to punch her in the neck, I CANT STRESS HOW ANNOYING HER VOICE IS. Anyway I stop laughing and compose myself. β€œNah go ahead.” Bitch voice a whole genjutsu bruh

I think on Thursday or some shit my school has a motivational speaker come in and talk to all the students in that grade. They started this ...

Af, Ass, and Bruh: Niggas on Neptune when they homie get clapped by a flying diamond @typicalterome BRUHHHHH LEMME TELL YALL WHAT HAPPENED TODAY πŸ’€ ight so a nigga had to get to work early because of a complicated ass reason. Anyway I pull up to the function and the first bullshit thing I see is the door. THE FUCKING DOOR HANDLE TO THE CFA GOT BOONK GANGED πŸ’€πŸ’€πŸ˜­πŸ˜­ Deadass I can’t lie, I asked my manager and they said it was taken πŸ’€ bruh I don’t live in chiraq, this shit shouldn’t be happening. Anyway I’m sitting there with my coworkers cause it’s 4:00 and we all clock in at 5 right. All of a sudden I notice my first period teacher walk into the building. So me and my other coworker duck because that’s her teacher too and we wasn’t tryna get caught lacking. Ima just call her Alexis. BUT THE WALKING DILDO NAMED JEREMIAH HAD TO RUIN IT. He gets my teachers attention and the NIGGA NOTICES US 😭 So the teacher walks over with his daughter that he’s always talking about in class and smiles at me and Alexis. β€œHey *insert my last name*” This nigga only calls you by yo last bruh and it’s dumb af πŸ’€ We shake hands and shit and then he introduces his daughter. β€œThis is Leah. Hey Leah, this is the guy who I always talk about at home.” Then the nigga smiles at me. MY NIGGA WHY YOU TALKING ABOUT ME AT HOME 😭😭😭😭 fuckwrongwiteem. So now I’m all confused and shit and then Jeremiah nods his head at Leah and mouths the word β€œforehead” πŸ’€ bruh ngl her forehead was on some Yo Gotti type shit 😭😭 then this nigga Jeremiah has the AUDACITY to say: β€œMy head hurt.” 😭😭😭😭 IM WHEEZINGGGGGG AT THIS POINT AND MY teacher gets all confused and shit. β€œYou good?” β€œYeah, just a lot on my mind right now.” BOIIII ME AND JEREMIAH ARE CRYINGGGGGGGG and my teacher still confused. Meanwhile his daughter standing there all awkward and shit. Anyway they say goodbye and leave after that. After they’re gone, we was still cracking jokes. β€œBruh her forehead was longer than my shift.” β€œCould see yo reflection on that shit.” β€œShe looked like Sheen off that one episode of Jimmy Neutron.” I WAS GONEEEEEEE. Anyway it was 5 now and by then we was still crying. So I was at the register just crying and the customer comes up to me and says, β€œYou alright?” β€œYeah, just a lot on my mind right now.”
Af, Ass, and Bruh: Niggas on Neptune when they homie get
 clapped by a flying diamond
 @typicalterome
BRUHHHHH LEMME TELL YALL WHAT HAPPENED TODAY πŸ’€ ight so a nigga had to get to work early because of a complicated ass reason. Anyway I pull up to the function and the first bullshit thing I see is the door. THE FUCKING DOOR HANDLE TO THE CFA GOT BOONK GANGED πŸ’€πŸ’€πŸ˜­πŸ˜­ Deadass I can’t lie, I asked my manager and they said it was taken πŸ’€ bruh I don’t live in chiraq, this shit shouldn’t be happening. Anyway I’m sitting there with my coworkers cause it’s 4:00 and we all clock in at 5 right. All of a sudden I notice my first period teacher walk into the building. So me and my other coworker duck because that’s her teacher too and we wasn’t tryna get caught lacking. Ima just call her Alexis. BUT THE WALKING DILDO NAMED JEREMIAH HAD TO RUIN IT. He gets my teachers attention and the NIGGA NOTICES US 😭 So the teacher walks over with his daughter that he’s always talking about in class and smiles at me and Alexis. β€œHey *insert my last name*” This nigga only calls you by yo last bruh and it’s dumb af πŸ’€ We shake hands and shit and then he introduces his daughter. β€œThis is Leah. Hey Leah, this is the guy who I always talk about at home.” Then the nigga smiles at me. MY NIGGA WHY YOU TALKING ABOUT ME AT HOME 😭😭😭😭 fuckwrongwiteem. So now I’m all confused and shit and then Jeremiah nods his head at Leah and mouths the word β€œforehead” πŸ’€ bruh ngl her forehead was on some Yo Gotti type shit 😭😭 then this nigga Jeremiah has the AUDACITY to say: β€œMy head hurt.” 😭😭😭😭 IM WHEEZINGGGGGG AT THIS POINT AND MY teacher gets all confused and shit. β€œYou good?” β€œYeah, just a lot on my mind right now.” BOIIII ME AND JEREMIAH ARE CRYINGGGGGGGG and my teacher still confused. Meanwhile his daughter standing there all awkward and shit. Anyway they say goodbye and leave after that. After they’re gone, we was still cracking jokes. β€œBruh her forehead was longer than my shift.” β€œCould see yo reflection on that shit.” β€œShe looked like Sheen off that one episode of Jimmy Neutron.” I WAS GONEEEEEEE. Anyway it was 5 now and by then we was still crying. So I was at the register just crying and the customer comes up to me and says, β€œYou alright?” β€œYeah, just a lot on my mind right now.”

BRUHHHHH LEMME TELL YALL WHAT HAPPENED TODAY πŸ’€ ight so a nigga had to get to work early because of a complicated ass reason. Anyway I pull u...