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Ariana Grande, Ass, and Beyonce: Beyonce: *breathes* 30 year old mothers and gay niggas: @jxremixh I think on Thursday or some shit my school has a motivational speaker come in and talk to all the students in that grade. They started this type of thing last year cause a lot of kids were killing themselves or something lol. Anyway the school deadass pays some middle aged balding white man to come in and talk to us about life and shit. Like nigga 99.9% of the kids in my grade wanna die lmaooo. Anyway last year all 900 kids in the sophomore class filed into the auditorium to listen to the speaker for 45 minutes straight. For the first like 30 minutes, I was fucking sleep. Shit was so boring bruh on my dead goldfish Jeremy. How you gon be a motivational speaker and sound like you wanna die yourself? Nigga voice was flatter than Ariana Grande ass. Anyway for the last 15 minutes, he took questions from the students. Now THIS is where it got interesting πŸ’€ So y’all know my nigga Aaron right? He wasn’t sitting next to me at the time but this nigga raises his hand. For some reason, they hand this nigga the microphone so the whole auditorium can hear it. β€œYeah I got one question. Let’s say you’re online dating a girl and when y’all meet up, she got a weewee bigger than yours. How do cope with that?” I mean yeah at first it was funny πŸ’€ but then security grabbed his ass and he got suspended for like a week. BUT THE NEXT FUCKING PERSON WHO RAISES THEIR HAND MAKES ME WANNA SET A FUCKING SHORT BUS ON FIRE. This bitch Sara , who’s right next to me, takes the microphone and as soon as she starts speaking I wanted to fucking die. Her voice would single handedly make suicide rates go up. β€œSo recently my brother passed away and-β€œ OH NAH πŸ’€ yo I’m so sorry but it was so hard not to fucking laugh I was almost crying. β€œ-and recently I’ve been really depressed and sometimes I even stare at the knives in my kitchen drawers and think about cutting myself-β€œ I COULDNT HOLD IT BRUH 😭😭 a nigga started DYINGGG as she was fucking talking 😭 she stops speaking and everybody starts staring at me. β€œIs something funny?” Omfg I wanted to punch her in the neck, I CANT STRESS HOW ANNOYING HER VOICE IS. Anyway I stop laughing and compose myself. β€œNah go ahead.” Bitch voice a whole genjutsu bruh
Ariana Grande, Ass, and Beyonce: Beyonce: *breathes*
 30 year old mothers and gay niggas:
 @jxremixh
I think on Thursday or some shit my school has a motivational speaker come in and talk to all the students in that grade. They started this type of thing last year cause a lot of kids were killing themselves or something lol. Anyway the school deadass pays some middle aged balding white man to come in and talk to us about life and shit. Like nigga 99.9% of the kids in my grade wanna die lmaooo. Anyway last year all 900 kids in the sophomore class filed into the auditorium to listen to the speaker for 45 minutes straight. For the first like 30 minutes, I was fucking sleep. Shit was so boring bruh on my dead goldfish Jeremy. How you gon be a motivational speaker and sound like you wanna die yourself? Nigga voice was flatter than Ariana Grande ass. Anyway for the last 15 minutes, he took questions from the students. Now THIS is where it got interesting πŸ’€ So y’all know my nigga Aaron right? He wasn’t sitting next to me at the time but this nigga raises his hand. For some reason, they hand this nigga the microphone so the whole auditorium can hear it. β€œYeah I got one question. Let’s say you’re online dating a girl and when y’all meet up, she got a weewee bigger than yours. How do cope with that?” I mean yeah at first it was funny πŸ’€ but then security grabbed his ass and he got suspended for like a week. BUT THE NEXT FUCKING PERSON WHO RAISES THEIR HAND MAKES ME WANNA SET A FUCKING SHORT BUS ON FIRE. This bitch Sara , who’s right next to me, takes the microphone and as soon as she starts speaking I wanted to fucking die. Her voice would single handedly make suicide rates go up. β€œSo recently my brother passed away and-β€œ OH NAH πŸ’€ yo I’m so sorry but it was so hard not to fucking laugh I was almost crying. β€œ-and recently I’ve been really depressed and sometimes I even stare at the knives in my kitchen drawers and think about cutting myself-β€œ I COULDNT HOLD IT BRUH 😭😭 a nigga started DYINGGG as she was fucking talking 😭 she stops speaking and everybody starts staring at me. β€œIs something funny?” Omfg I wanted to punch her in the neck, I CANT STRESS HOW ANNOYING HER VOICE IS. Anyway I stop laughing and compose myself. β€œNah go ahead.” Bitch voice a whole genjutsu bruh

I think on Thursday or some shit my school has a motivational speaker come in and talk to all the students in that grade. They started this ...

Af, Ass, and Bruh: Niggas on Neptune when they homie get clapped by a flying diamond @typicalterome BRUHHHHH LEMME TELL YALL WHAT HAPPENED TODAY πŸ’€ ight so a nigga had to get to work early because of a complicated ass reason. Anyway I pull up to the function and the first bullshit thing I see is the door. THE FUCKING DOOR HANDLE TO THE CFA GOT BOONK GANGED πŸ’€πŸ’€πŸ˜­πŸ˜­ Deadass I can’t lie, I asked my manager and they said it was taken πŸ’€ bruh I don’t live in chiraq, this shit shouldn’t be happening. Anyway I’m sitting there with my coworkers cause it’s 4:00 and we all clock in at 5 right. All of a sudden I notice my first period teacher walk into the building. So me and my other coworker duck because that’s her teacher too and we wasn’t tryna get caught lacking. Ima just call her Alexis. BUT THE WALKING DILDO NAMED JEREMIAH HAD TO RUIN IT. He gets my teachers attention and the NIGGA NOTICES US 😭 So the teacher walks over with his daughter that he’s always talking about in class and smiles at me and Alexis. β€œHey *insert my last name*” This nigga only calls you by yo last bruh and it’s dumb af πŸ’€ We shake hands and shit and then he introduces his daughter. β€œThis is Leah. Hey Leah, this is the guy who I always talk about at home.” Then the nigga smiles at me. MY NIGGA WHY YOU TALKING ABOUT ME AT HOME 😭😭😭😭 fuckwrongwiteem. So now I’m all confused and shit and then Jeremiah nods his head at Leah and mouths the word β€œforehead” πŸ’€ bruh ngl her forehead was on some Yo Gotti type shit 😭😭 then this nigga Jeremiah has the AUDACITY to say: β€œMy head hurt.” 😭😭😭😭 IM WHEEZINGGGGGG AT THIS POINT AND MY teacher gets all confused and shit. β€œYou good?” β€œYeah, just a lot on my mind right now.” BOIIII ME AND JEREMIAH ARE CRYINGGGGGGGG and my teacher still confused. Meanwhile his daughter standing there all awkward and shit. Anyway they say goodbye and leave after that. After they’re gone, we was still cracking jokes. β€œBruh her forehead was longer than my shift.” β€œCould see yo reflection on that shit.” β€œShe looked like Sheen off that one episode of Jimmy Neutron.” I WAS GONEEEEEEE. Anyway it was 5 now and by then we was still crying. So I was at the register just crying and the customer comes up to me and says, β€œYou alright?” β€œYeah, just a lot on my mind right now.”
Af, Ass, and Bruh: Niggas on Neptune when they homie get
 clapped by a flying diamond
 @typicalterome
BRUHHHHH LEMME TELL YALL WHAT HAPPENED TODAY πŸ’€ ight so a nigga had to get to work early because of a complicated ass reason. Anyway I pull up to the function and the first bullshit thing I see is the door. THE FUCKING DOOR HANDLE TO THE CFA GOT BOONK GANGED πŸ’€πŸ’€πŸ˜­πŸ˜­ Deadass I can’t lie, I asked my manager and they said it was taken πŸ’€ bruh I don’t live in chiraq, this shit shouldn’t be happening. Anyway I’m sitting there with my coworkers cause it’s 4:00 and we all clock in at 5 right. All of a sudden I notice my first period teacher walk into the building. So me and my other coworker duck because that’s her teacher too and we wasn’t tryna get caught lacking. Ima just call her Alexis. BUT THE WALKING DILDO NAMED JEREMIAH HAD TO RUIN IT. He gets my teachers attention and the NIGGA NOTICES US 😭 So the teacher walks over with his daughter that he’s always talking about in class and smiles at me and Alexis. β€œHey *insert my last name*” This nigga only calls you by yo last bruh and it’s dumb af πŸ’€ We shake hands and shit and then he introduces his daughter. β€œThis is Leah. Hey Leah, this is the guy who I always talk about at home.” Then the nigga smiles at me. MY NIGGA WHY YOU TALKING ABOUT ME AT HOME 😭😭😭😭 fuckwrongwiteem. So now I’m all confused and shit and then Jeremiah nods his head at Leah and mouths the word β€œforehead” πŸ’€ bruh ngl her forehead was on some Yo Gotti type shit 😭😭 then this nigga Jeremiah has the AUDACITY to say: β€œMy head hurt.” 😭😭😭😭 IM WHEEZINGGGGGG AT THIS POINT AND MY teacher gets all confused and shit. β€œYou good?” β€œYeah, just a lot on my mind right now.” BOIIII ME AND JEREMIAH ARE CRYINGGGGGGGG and my teacher still confused. Meanwhile his daughter standing there all awkward and shit. Anyway they say goodbye and leave after that. After they’re gone, we was still cracking jokes. β€œBruh her forehead was longer than my shift.” β€œCould see yo reflection on that shit.” β€œShe looked like Sheen off that one episode of Jimmy Neutron.” I WAS GONEEEEEEE. Anyway it was 5 now and by then we was still crying. So I was at the register just crying and the customer comes up to me and says, β€œYou alright?” β€œYeah, just a lot on my mind right now.”

BRUHHHHH LEMME TELL YALL WHAT HAPPENED TODAY πŸ’€ ight so a nigga had to get to work early because of a complicated ass reason. Anyway I pull u...

Ass, Bruh, and Children: When my mom start getting an attitude w people jus tryna do they job OooOOOooOOoOoO I BE WANTING TO SNAP PEOPLE NECKS BRUH. Yesterday I was working 5-10 and at about 9:30, about 50 people walked in, no exaggeration. So all 50 of these idiots decide to dine in, even though the store was closing in 15 minutes at this point (btw most of them were white teenagers, not adults). So yeah, the rest of the store was preparing to close because it was so late, and there was only one person in the kitchen, so food was being made pretty slow. So all these fucking teenagers and shit are complaining to ME. ME. NIGGA I AM NOT MAKING YOUR FUCKING FOOD. YOURE THE ONE WHO HAD THE FUCKING AUDACITY TO WALK IN HERE 30 MINUTES BEFORE CLOSING. β€œDude we’ve been waiting forever for our food.” Nigga I’ve been wanting to RKO though this table since you walked in, shutchobitchassup. AND THEN SOME OTHER BULLSHIT HAPPENS. THESE FUCKING 18 YEAR OLD COLLEGE STUDENTS DECIDE TO FUCKING GET IN THE CHILDRENS PLAY AREA AND CRAWL AROUND. MY NIGGA WHO RAISED YOUUUU. IM GIVING YO WHOLE BLOODLINE THESE FUCKING HANds NOW. So out of the 6 employees that are still here, one of us has to go over there and tell those dumbasses to get out of there. So one of my coworkers go over and tell them that they have to get out. THEN THESE CUNTS SAY: β€œBut I meet the height requirement.” NIGGA THE HEIGHT FOR FUCKING CHILDREN? IDC IF YOU BUILT LIKE FUCKING X OL SHORT ASS NIGGA, THIS IS A CHILDRENS AREA FOR CHILDREN ONLY. ISTG IF THEY WALK IN THE STORE TODAY (I work 3-9), I’m losing my shit. Yeah anyway that was my rant
Ass, Bruh, and Children: When my mom start getting an attitude w
 people jus tryna do they job
OooOOOooOOoOoO I BE WANTING TO SNAP PEOPLE NECKS BRUH. Yesterday I was working 5-10 and at about 9:30, about 50 people walked in, no exaggeration. So all 50 of these idiots decide to dine in, even though the store was closing in 15 minutes at this point (btw most of them were white teenagers, not adults). So yeah, the rest of the store was preparing to close because it was so late, and there was only one person in the kitchen, so food was being made pretty slow. So all these fucking teenagers and shit are complaining to ME. ME. NIGGA I AM NOT MAKING YOUR FUCKING FOOD. YOURE THE ONE WHO HAD THE FUCKING AUDACITY TO WALK IN HERE 30 MINUTES BEFORE CLOSING. β€œDude we’ve been waiting forever for our food.” Nigga I’ve been wanting to RKO though this table since you walked in, shutchobitchassup. AND THEN SOME OTHER BULLSHIT HAPPENS. THESE FUCKING 18 YEAR OLD COLLEGE STUDENTS DECIDE TO FUCKING GET IN THE CHILDRENS PLAY AREA AND CRAWL AROUND. MY NIGGA WHO RAISED YOUUUU. IM GIVING YO WHOLE BLOODLINE THESE FUCKING HANds NOW. So out of the 6 employees that are still here, one of us has to go over there and tell those dumbasses to get out of there. So one of my coworkers go over and tell them that they have to get out. THEN THESE CUNTS SAY: β€œBut I meet the height requirement.” NIGGA THE HEIGHT FOR FUCKING CHILDREN? IDC IF YOU BUILT LIKE FUCKING X OL SHORT ASS NIGGA, THIS IS A CHILDRENS AREA FOR CHILDREN ONLY. ISTG IF THEY WALK IN THE STORE TODAY (I work 3-9), I’m losing my shit. Yeah anyway that was my rant

OooOOOooOOoOoO I BE WANTING TO SNAP PEOPLE NECKS BRUH. Yesterday I was working 5-10 and at about 9:30, about 50 people walked in, no exagger...