Neckbeard Things

Neckbeard Things

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Neckbeard Things: 17:17 1 13 hrs I often eat alone at a Wendy's that's just down the street from my house. A little less than a week ago, I noticed that they hired a new employee. She's a fair skinned woman who, for the sake of not violating a pending order of protection, we'll say is named Michelle. I was fond of her from the moment I first saw her. I immediately went home and scoured the internet to find out more information about her. I figured this way I'd be able to learn her interests and engage her in conversation regarding them l remember initially thinking to myself that it's a shame how name tags don't include last names. All I had to go on was her first name and location, yet thanks to Facebook's ability to search by city and state, I was able to find her after just a few hours. Once I did l realized I hit a goldmine; her phone number was visible to everyone, not just Facebook friends. Most women are scared to give out their number to a stranger because they don't think they're trustworthy, but if someone asked you out on a date after looking you up and learning your phone number without you having to tell them, you'd likely be far more trusting of that person since they already know your personal info. You'd have nothing to lose. That was my line of thinking, anyway. After obtaining her phone number I figured I'd try to do something romantic that would build up to me asking her out. I decided to use an app that would let me text her without revealing my actual number. The app allowed me to change my number at will O Write a comment... GF) )> 7 17:17 1 3 app allowed me to change my number at will, essentially making it unblockable, which I thought was a good idea since she might think it's just one of her friends messing with her and block it right away. This would grant me the ability to remain a complete enigma to her. "Once a day," I told myself. "Only text her once a day so it isn't creepy." Sadly, I was far too excited at the prospect of having my first girlfriend to stick to that. My first text to her was simply, "l saw that picture of your graduation you posted. You're beautiful." Later that day while I was sitting in the Wendy's parking lot I sent her another text that said, "l can see you right now. One day you'll see me, too." Before I knew it I had texted her over three hundred times in just a few days She never once responded to any of them. Still, not all messages contained text, some were just pictures of her that l took while she was at work to let her know that I was actually there Some of you may have noticed that I wasn't online at all yesterday. There is good reason for that. Yesterday was the day that I met her in person and tried to ask her out. It didn't go as planned. I walked up to Michelle while she was at the counter and told her that I'm her admirer. Her cheerful expression changed as she suddenly started shouting, "This is the guy! Marco, this is the guy!" Marco is her manager. He jumped from behind the counter and grabbed me while instructing her to call the police. I bit his arm hard enough to draw blood, but he did not release me O Write a comment... GF) )> 7 17:17 1 13 hrs while instructing her to call the police. I bit his arm hard enough to draw blood, but he did not release me until police arrivedd The police said that the detainment was lawful, which meant that I was to be charged with battery for biting the manager in addition to stalking. This amounts to almost $500 in fines. Thankfully, father told me he'd take care of it since I'm currently unemployed. The police also told me that she's filing for an order of protection, so l can't return to that specific Wendy's. Father told me to keep my chin up and to remember that some women just aren't worth it. He said that If she thinks having a guy flatter her and think about her all the time is something to call the police over, then she must be "one of those nutty feminists." After spending some time thinking about it, I realized that he's right. Sometimes you just have to remind yourself that it's not you, it's them O Write a comment... GIF 7 The creepiest Neckbeard I've seen in a long time, him and his dad blame rejection on feminism
Neckbeard Things: 17:17 1 13 hrs I often eat alone at a Wendy's that's just down the street from my house. A little less than a week ago, I noticed that they hired a new employee. She's a fair skinned woman who, for the sake of not violating a pending order of protection, we'll say is named Michelle. I was fond of her from the moment I first saw her. I immediately went home and scoured the internet to find out more information about her. I figured this way I'd be able to learn her interests and engage her in conversation regarding them l remember initially thinking to myself that it's a shame how name tags don't include last names. All I had to go on was her first name and location, yet thanks to Facebook's ability to search by city and state, I was able to find her after just a few hours. Once I did l realized I hit a goldmine; her phone number was visible to everyone, not just Facebook friends. Most women are scared to give out their number to a stranger because they don't think they're trustworthy, but if someone asked you out on a date after looking you up and learning your phone number without you having to tell them, you'd likely be far more trusting of that person since they already know your personal info. You'd have nothing to lose. That was my line of thinking, anyway. After obtaining her phone number I figured I'd try to do something romantic that would build up to me asking her out. I decided to use an app that would let me text her without revealing my actual number. The app allowed me to change my number at will O Write a comment... GF) )> 7 17:17 1 3 app allowed me to change my number at will, essentially making it unblockable, which I thought was a good idea since she might think it's just one of her friends messing with her and block it right away. This would grant me the ability to remain a complete enigma to her. "Once a day," I told myself. "Only text her once a day so it isn't creepy." Sadly, I was far too excited at the prospect of having my first girlfriend to stick to that. My first text to her was simply, "l saw that picture of your graduation you posted. You're beautiful." Later that day while I was sitting in the Wendy's parking lot I sent her another text that said, "l can see you right now. One day you'll see me, too." Before I knew it I had texted her over three hundred times in just a few days She never once responded to any of them. Still, not all messages contained text, some were just pictures of her that l took while she was at work to let her know that I was actually there Some of you may have noticed that I wasn't online at all yesterday. There is good reason for that. Yesterday was the day that I met her in person and tried to ask her out. It didn't go as planned. I walked up to Michelle while she was at the counter and told her that I'm her admirer. Her cheerful expression changed as she suddenly started shouting, "This is the guy! Marco, this is the guy!" Marco is her manager. He jumped from behind the counter and grabbed me while instructing her to call the police. I bit his arm hard enough to draw blood, but he did not release me O Write a comment... GF) )> 7 17:17 1 13 hrs while instructing her to call the police. I bit his arm hard enough to draw blood, but he did not release me until police arrivedd The police said that the detainment was lawful, which meant that I was to be charged with battery for biting the manager in addition to stalking. This amounts to almost $500 in fines. Thankfully, father told me he'd take care of it since I'm currently unemployed. The police also told me that she's filing for an order of protection, so l can't return to that specific Wendy's. Father told me to keep my chin up and to remember that some women just aren't worth it. He said that If she thinks having a guy flatter her and think about her all the time is something to call the police over, then she must be "one of those nutty feminists." After spending some time thinking about it, I realized that he's right. Sometimes you just have to remind yourself that it's not you, it's them O Write a comment... GIF 7 The creepiest Neckbeard I've seen in a long time, him and his dad blame rejection on feminism

The creepiest Neckbeard I've seen in a long time, him and his dad blame rejection on feminism

Neckbeard Things: Mlad The tables have turned
nsfw
Neckbeard Things: Mlad The tables have turned

The tables have turned

Neckbeard Things: RATE THIS CHAT Today, 3:10 PM Neckbeardy?? What does women's issues have to do with the fact that if ur not hot u get called a creep for wanting to hang out Today, 3:58 PM it depends how you go about asking. i know literally no one who has beern called a creep for asking someone to hang out while looking average. if women are calling you a creep every time you ask them to hang... the problem isn't with women, it's with you. evaluate how you approach women. So my problem is that i shouldnt text hey whats up?" Or "hey we should So my problem is that i shouldnt text, hey whats up?" Or "hey we should hang out sometime" because its creepy??? But a friend of mine just sends a dick pic or whips it out and gets the girl and thats not creepy?? Must be the font style im using right? the thing is... yeah, some women are willing to hook up over a dick pic. women aren't all the same. lumping the whole group into "women think average guys are creeps but bang hot guys easily" is wildly inaccurate of most women. they're not some hivemind, they're individual people. sure, you can say "hey we should hang", but if you act pushy/desperate, make sexual comments, ignore boundaries, STEREOTYPE ALL WOMEN, etc they're gonna think you're a creep. like i said, step back and evaluate your behavior. make sure you're not doing anything that makes women uncomfortable. Like texting them lol ur not very smart dude i know you meant texting. all of the things i mentioned can be done over text. if you think they can't, then it's not me who's stupid... based on this conversation so far, yeah, i can definitely see why women don't want to hang out with you. you refuse to see them as anything more than a stereotype, you insult people who try to give you constructive feedback, you don't listen, and you seem to only think about yourself. Ur right bro. I should use different tone and inflections via text messages... especially when saying whats up... its gotta be selfish to ask what a girl is doing or how shes feeling feeling. I should just send a dick pic lol yeah, you're completely not getting it. well, i tried. there's no point in talking to a brick wall, so see ya. Whats there to get? I should change the way i say whats up?? like talking to a brick wall (OP from my last post messaged me)
Neckbeard Things: RATE THIS CHAT Today, 3:10 PM Neckbeardy?? What does women's issues have to do with the fact that if ur not hot u get called a creep for wanting to hang out Today, 3:58 PM it depends how you go about asking. i know literally no one who has beern called a creep for asking someone to hang out while looking average. if women are calling you a creep every time you ask them to hang... the problem isn't with women, it's with you. evaluate how you approach women. So my problem is that i shouldnt text hey whats up?" Or "hey we should So my problem is that i shouldnt text, hey whats up?" Or "hey we should hang out sometime" because its creepy??? But a friend of mine just sends a dick pic or whips it out and gets the girl and thats not creepy?? Must be the font style im using right? the thing is... yeah, some women are willing to hook up over a dick pic. women aren't all the same. lumping the whole group into "women think average guys are creeps but bang hot guys easily" is wildly inaccurate of most women. they're not some hivemind, they're individual people. sure, you can say "hey we should hang", but if you act pushy/desperate, make sexual comments, ignore boundaries, STEREOTYPE ALL WOMEN, etc they're gonna think you're a creep. like i said, step back and evaluate your behavior. make sure you're not doing anything that makes women uncomfortable. Like texting them lol ur not very smart dude i know you meant texting. all of the things i mentioned can be done over text. if you think they can't, then it's not me who's stupid... based on this conversation so far, yeah, i can definitely see why women don't want to hang out with you. you refuse to see them as anything more than a stereotype, you insult people who try to give you constructive feedback, you don't listen, and you seem to only think about yourself. Ur right bro. I should use different tone and inflections via text messages... especially when saying whats up... its gotta be selfish to ask what a girl is doing or how shes feeling feeling. I should just send a dick pic lol yeah, you're completely not getting it. well, i tried. there's no point in talking to a brick wall, so see ya. Whats there to get? I should change the way i say whats up?? like talking to a brick wall (OP from my last post messaged me)

like talking to a brick wall (OP from my last post messaged me)

Neckbeard Things: Feasting Senpai taught him how to make Mountain Dew tea as well.
Neckbeard Things: Feasting Senpai taught him how to make Mountain Dew tea as well.

Senpai taught him how to make Mountain Dew tea as well.

Neckbeard Things: 3 T 13% oo Optus 5:05 pm Conversation From lmgur 12m Hey there beautiful (tugs at collar nervously.) Saw your tattoo post on imgur and l think it's really good you want to be a doctor. (gives you a friendly smile) I can see you're a deeply thoughtful and intelligent person. You didn't reply to me on imgur, so I thought I'd try to find you on reddit because I really found you interesting and would love to get to know you better. I bet you get a lot of creepy PMs from assholes only calling you beautiful to get nudes or whatever (balls fists) but l see women as more than skin deep, so while you are beautiful its not all l See, you're a unique and captivating woman and I really respect and admire you as a person (wipes forehead) l hope you will give me the opportunity to give you the respect and admiration you truly deserve. (nwaits patiently for your reply) V phoeenixx 6m Reply to the Message 3 5:05 pm T 13% oo Optus Conversation Okay first of all you don't really know anything about me I appreciate the compliments, but l have a boyfriend and I'm really not interested. Please don't message me again. Now Wow, okay. (crosses arms) First of all, if you really appreciated my compliments then youd give me the time to talk to you, instead of being stuck up to someone who would do anything to put a smile on your face. (starts shouting) Youre right, i didn't know you, i thought you were something special but you're just a stuck up bitch. Girls like you only date fucking assholes anyway. hope he breaks your heart and you realize what a real man is. Don't come running back to me when you're hurt though. (turns on heel, slams door in your face) Goodbye! V phoe enixx Now Lol what the fuck Reply to the Message Wowzers (xpost r/creepypms)
Neckbeard Things: 3 T 13% oo Optus 5:05 pm Conversation From lmgur 12m Hey there beautiful (tugs at collar nervously.) Saw your tattoo post on imgur and l think it's really good you want to be a doctor. (gives you a friendly smile) I can see you're a deeply thoughtful and intelligent person. You didn't reply to me on imgur, so I thought I'd try to find you on reddit because I really found you interesting and would love to get to know you better. I bet you get a lot of creepy PMs from assholes only calling you beautiful to get nudes or whatever (balls fists) but l see women as more than skin deep, so while you are beautiful its not all l See, you're a unique and captivating woman and I really respect and admire you as a person (wipes forehead) l hope you will give me the opportunity to give you the respect and admiration you truly deserve. (nwaits patiently for your reply) V phoeenixx 6m Reply to the Message 3 5:05 pm T 13% oo Optus Conversation Okay first of all you don't really know anything about me I appreciate the compliments, but l have a boyfriend and I'm really not interested. Please don't message me again. Now Wow, okay. (crosses arms) First of all, if you really appreciated my compliments then youd give me the time to talk to you, instead of being stuck up to someone who would do anything to put a smile on your face. (starts shouting) Youre right, i didn't know you, i thought you were something special but you're just a stuck up bitch. Girls like you only date fucking assholes anyway. hope he breaks your heart and you realize what a real man is. Don't come running back to me when you're hurt though. (turns on heel, slams door in your face) Goodbye! V phoe enixx Now Lol what the fuck Reply to the Message Wowzers (xpost r/creepypms)

Wowzers (xpost r/creepypms)

Neckbeard Things: 9:25 35% ooo Fido Hey, I had a really good time. You're a really nice girl. can't wait to see you again Hey! I had a nice time, but going out tonight has made me realize l'm not ready to start dating again. And beyond that, I just don't think we're a good fit Delivered Why would you go on a date when you know you're not ready to start dating? cleared up an entire evening to take you out. You're well within your rights to find me undesirable, and thank you for your honesty, but t you've done You've led to me is cruel me on. You can't just casually decide you're not interested after I've already set aside time and effort into courting you. Well, you can, and you have, but it's rude. told me you would be difficult because you're still healing from your last relationship, but she didn't tell me how selfish you are i Message 9:21 AM ooo Fido told me you would be difficult because you're still healing from your last relationship, but she didn't tell me how selfish you are and frankly, I'm upset that she would set me up with someone whom she knows doesn't like me. I have to ask, is it my religion? Does my faith bother you? We're you upset that I was touching on those heavy topics too soon? Did they scare you? suspect your answer is yes, in which case you're not adult enough to pursue a serious relationship with someone like me Go ahead and keep dating boys like you're ex. By the time you're ready for men, you'll realize your mistake. promise you that I'm really hurt by this As said before, you're a nice girl, and we could have shared something really special. May l ask what l did wrong? You told me you want someone nice who has their life together and more than qualify, don't you think? If my eagerness has turned you off, I understand, JC Message 35% ooo Fido 9:2 scare you? suspect your answer is yes, in which case you're not adult enough to pursue a serious relationship with someone like me Go ahead and keep dating boys like you're ex. By the time you're ready for men, you'll realize your mistake. promise you that I'm really hurt by this, As said before, you're a nice girl, and we could have shared something really special. May l ask what did wrong? You told me you want someone nice who has their life together and more than qualify, don't you think? If my eagerness has turned you off, I understand, but if you'd rather pursue someone who is cold and detached and who doesn't think of the future at all then you will never find happiness in your romantic pursuits. It's a vicious cycle. may not be the one you're looking for, but you won't find happiness if you keep making excuses as to why you don't like guys who treat you well, as l did tonight Message 35% After one date (x-post from /r/niceguys)
Neckbeard Things: 9:25 35% ooo Fido Hey, I had a really good time. You're a really nice girl. can't wait to see you again Hey! I had a nice time, but going out tonight has made me realize l'm not ready to start dating again. And beyond that, I just don't think we're a good fit Delivered Why would you go on a date when you know you're not ready to start dating? cleared up an entire evening to take you out. You're well within your rights to find me undesirable, and thank you for your honesty, but t you've done You've led to me is cruel me on. You can't just casually decide you're not interested after I've already set aside time and effort into courting you. Well, you can, and you have, but it's rude. told me you would be difficult because you're still healing from your last relationship, but she didn't tell me how selfish you are i Message 9:21 AM ooo Fido told me you would be difficult because you're still healing from your last relationship, but she didn't tell me how selfish you are and frankly, I'm upset that she would set me up with someone whom she knows doesn't like me. I have to ask, is it my religion? Does my faith bother you? We're you upset that I was touching on those heavy topics too soon? Did they scare you? suspect your answer is yes, in which case you're not adult enough to pursue a serious relationship with someone like me Go ahead and keep dating boys like you're ex. By the time you're ready for men, you'll realize your mistake. promise you that I'm really hurt by this As said before, you're a nice girl, and we could have shared something really special. May l ask what l did wrong? You told me you want someone nice who has their life together and more than qualify, don't you think? If my eagerness has turned you off, I understand, JC Message 35% ooo Fido 9:2 scare you? suspect your answer is yes, in which case you're not adult enough to pursue a serious relationship with someone like me Go ahead and keep dating boys like you're ex. By the time you're ready for men, you'll realize your mistake. promise you that I'm really hurt by this, As said before, you're a nice girl, and we could have shared something really special. May l ask what did wrong? You told me you want someone nice who has their life together and more than qualify, don't you think? If my eagerness has turned you off, I understand, but if you'd rather pursue someone who is cold and detached and who doesn't think of the future at all then you will never find happiness in your romantic pursuits. It's a vicious cycle. may not be the one you're looking for, but you won't find happiness if you keep making excuses as to why you don't like guys who treat you well, as l did tonight Message 35% After one date (x-post from /r/niceguys)

After one date (x-post from /r/niceguys)

Neckbeard Things: The ultimate neckbeard reunion.
Neckbeard Things: The ultimate neckbeard reunion.

The ultimate neckbeard reunion.

Neckbeard Things: BROOKS When M'lady finds out you're an intellectual, vaper, and hardcore gamer.
Neckbeard Things: BROOKS When M'lady finds out you're an intellectual, vaper, and hardcore gamer.

When M'lady finds out you're an intellectual, vaper, and hardcore gamer.

Neckbeard Things: 22:43 13% K Messages (1) Details Message Today 22:30 Hey is this Becky? Who's this? Hi sorry LOL l should've said!!! it's Tom from Nando's you called a week ago l think about leaving your NHS card in the restaurant? You found it?!? Where has it been all this time haha Oh no m sorry haha LOL we didn't find it 22:43 13% K Messages (1) Details But I wanted to text you is that okay?? sends text and throws phone across room* Erm why? Gee you're straight to the point aren't you? (yippers) wel ever since that call I can't stop thinking about you and your voice it was so angelic and it made me warm everywhere well look Becks, can I ca you Becks? Well look Becks, I mean you must be beautiful to have such an amazing voice, how about I take you out for a O i Message 22:43 13% K Messages (1) Details meal in my restaurant??? *prepares self for rejection* (oh boy I hope she feels the connection too)! Ok who the fuck is this That's creepy as fuck who is this Message 22:43 13% K Messages (1) Details rejection* (oh boy l hope she feels the connection too)! Ok who the fuck is this That's creepy as fuck who is this Read 22:38 I was just kidding LOL!!! GOT YOU HAHAHAHA!!!!! feel for that one straight away didn't you HEHE!!! Ee you must've thought was being serious LMAOROFL!!! Well I'll let you know if anything comes up MRS GULLIBLE PMSL haha see you Becks O i Message So this just happened to my girlfriend [x-post /r/cringeanarchy]
Neckbeard Things: 22:43 13% K Messages (1) Details Message Today 22:30 Hey is this Becky? Who's this? Hi sorry LOL l should've said!!! it's Tom from Nando's you called a week ago l think about leaving your NHS card in the restaurant? You found it?!? Where has it been all this time haha Oh no m sorry haha LOL we didn't find it 22:43 13% K Messages (1) Details But I wanted to text you is that okay?? sends text and throws phone across room* Erm why? Gee you're straight to the point aren't you? (yippers) wel ever since that call I can't stop thinking about you and your voice it was so angelic and it made me warm everywhere well look Becks, can I ca you Becks? Well look Becks, I mean you must be beautiful to have such an amazing voice, how about I take you out for a O i Message 22:43 13% K Messages (1) Details meal in my restaurant??? *prepares self for rejection* (oh boy I hope she feels the connection too)! Ok who the fuck is this That's creepy as fuck who is this Message 22:43 13% K Messages (1) Details rejection* (oh boy l hope she feels the connection too)! Ok who the fuck is this That's creepy as fuck who is this Read 22:38 I was just kidding LOL!!! GOT YOU HAHAHAHA!!!!! feel for that one straight away didn't you HEHE!!! Ee you must've thought was being serious LMAOROFL!!! Well I'll let you know if anything comes up MRS GULLIBLE PMSL haha see you Becks O i Message So this just happened to my girlfriend [x-post /r/cringeanarchy]

So this just happened to my girlfriend [x-post /r/cringeanarchy]

Neckbeard Things: *quietly hands over adoption papers*
Neckbeard Things: *quietly hands over adoption papers*

*quietly hands over adoption papers*