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Tfw, Tumblr, and Blog: dpdraesthetic: tfw u dissociate and ur eyes keep unfocusing / not doing depth perception correctly it makes everything feel like a poorly rendered videogame   - odin
Tfw, Tumblr, and Blog: dpdraesthetic:

tfw u dissociate and ur eyes keep unfocusing / not doing depth perception correctly  it makes everything feel like a poorly rendered videogame   - odin

dpdraesthetic: tfw u dissociate and ur eyes keep unfocusing / not doing depth perception correctly it makes everything feel like a poorly ...

Odin, Boy, and Box: My boy Odin just couldn't resist. I put the box down and turned around for one second
Odin, Boy, and Box: My boy Odin just couldn't resist. I put the box down and turned around for one second

My boy Odin just couldn't resist. I put the box down and turned around for one second

Children, Funny, and Girls: thebuttkingpost Greek mythology: aren't the god great they only sexually harassed my wife and turned one of my children into a stag beetle this week Norse mythology: dînghïr cene nüt got his name when he killed a lizard the size of every mountain in the world without Odin's permission so Odin thought it would be funny to punish him by making him fart so hard one of his nuts flew off wait-whereami Chinese mythology: This guy just shot down 9 of the 10 suns scorching the planet but he's mean now so his wife and her rabbit overdosed on immortality pills and floated into the moon so he won't be a tvrant forever and we made cake in her honor dominawritesthings Yoruba mythology: a project team of gods was sent to earth on THE most massive project ever and the men decided to exclude the lone woman on the team because har har girls suck, and she responded by taking ALL OF THE WATER ON EARTH and watched the men take L's until the team lead made them take her back This same goddess is the one a group of male human villagers had to appeal to when the women of their village got so pissed off at their fuckery, they literally left and set up shop somewhere else and had zero plans of coming back notavodkashot Aztec mythology: Tezcatlipoca is at it again. Which Tezcatlipoca? Does it even matter at this point? Also, Quetzalcoatl had a bright idea again. It ended up in disaster Again taraljc rish mvthology: local queen kicks husband out of bed for trying to prove he brought more to the marriage. this results in supremely vicious and bloody war over a cow that ravaged Ulster and Connacht nonasuch the talmud: these rabbis are basically LotR wizards as scripted by Mel Brooks. one time Rabbi Eliezer got so mad about an argument over how to make an over kosher that he destroyed 1/3 of the world's crops. it would have been all of them but when they sent someone to tell him he was excommunicated for the oven fight he broke the news gently also he tried to murder Rabbi Hillel with a tidal wave but Hillel rebuked the wave so that was done. runawaymarbles Sumerian mythology: The water god cheated on his wife with his great great granddaughter so now all his limbs are pregnant Source: thebuttking... #greek mythology #mythology #chinese mythology Mythology in 5 seconds
Children, Funny, and Girls: thebuttkingpost
 Greek mythology: aren't the god great they only sexually
 harassed my wife and turned one of my children into a stag
 beetle this week
 Norse mythology: dînghïr cene nüt got his name when he
 killed a lizard the size of every mountain in the world without
 Odin's permission so Odin thought it would be funny to punish
 him by making him fart so hard one of his nuts flew off
 wait-whereami
 Chinese mythology: This guy just shot down 9 of the 10 suns
 scorching the planet but he's mean now so his wife and her
 rabbit overdosed on immortality pills and floated into the
 moon so he won't be a tvrant forever and we made cake in
 her honor
 dominawritesthings
 Yoruba mythology: a project team of gods was sent to earth
 on THE most massive project ever and the men decided to
 exclude the lone woman on the team because har har girls
 suck, and she responded by taking ALL OF THE WATER ON
 EARTH and watched the men take L's until the team lead
 made them take her back
 This same goddess is the one a group of male human
 villagers had to appeal to when the women of their village got
 so pissed off at their fuckery, they literally left and set up shop
 somewhere else and had zero plans of coming back
 notavodkashot
 Aztec mythology: Tezcatlipoca is at it again. Which
 Tezcatlipoca? Does it even matter at this point? Also,
 Quetzalcoatl had a bright idea again. It ended up in disaster
 Again
 taraljc
 rish mvthology: local queen kicks husband out of bed for
 trying to prove he brought more to the marriage. this results in
 supremely vicious and bloody war over a cow that ravaged
 Ulster and Connacht
 nonasuch
 the talmud: these rabbis are basically LotR wizards as
 scripted by Mel Brooks. one time Rabbi Eliezer got so mad
 about an argument over how to make an over kosher that he
 destroyed 1/3 of the world's crops. it would have been all of
 them but when they sent someone to tell him he was
 excommunicated for the oven fight he broke the news gently
 also he tried to murder Rabbi Hillel with a tidal wave but Hillel
 rebuked the wave so that was done.
 runawaymarbles
 Sumerian mythology: The water god cheated on his wife with
 his great great granddaughter so now all his limbs are
 pregnant
 Source: thebuttking...
 #greek mythology #mythology #chinese mythology
Mythology in 5 seconds

Mythology in 5 seconds

Beautiful, Shakespeare, and Taco Bell: kirkspocks odin is like "when thor was born the sun shone bright upon his beautiful face. i found loki on the sidewak outside a taco bel Ooinn spake: Bright the sun shone l at the time of Por's birth, And bathed his count'nance fair. Loki, wolf-father,I the trickster, the liar l found on the cold pavement While returning in glory | from a grand hunt For a 3 AM quesadilla systlin I need this framed on my wall it's so beautiful. ay @systlin hmu Odinn spake Bright the stun shone At the time of pors birth A2o bafhed his count nance falr Loki, toolf-father the tricksterthe liar lfouno onthe colo pavement While refurning in glory fromAgrand hcun @systlin My husband complained that this was more Shakespeare than Eddas, and I challenged him to do better Solen sken, skont gyllene Dagen Tor toddes På trottoaren, vid Taco Bell Där läg Loke My translation: The sun shone, sweet golden The day of Tor's birth On the tarmac, by Taco Bell There lay Lok For poetry reasons, Thor needs the Swedish spelling.) ay yo show ur husband Solen sken, skönt gyllene B frottoren, vis Caco bell Sr lkgloke @bold-sartorial-statement no but hang on this should be in (oops spot the typos) i wanna translate this into icelandic so imma do it Sólin skein, biört og gulin io faeoingu pors å stignum vio Taco Bel Par lá Loki The amount of quality going into these shitposts is amazing This is not shitposting, this is transformative work! Source: kirkspocks Norse Poem
Beautiful, Shakespeare, and Taco Bell: kirkspocks
 odin is like "when thor was born the sun shone bright upon his
 beautiful face. i found loki on the sidewak outside a taco bel
 Ooinn spake:
 Bright the sun shone l at the time of Por's birth,
 And bathed his count'nance fair.
 Loki, wolf-father,I the trickster, the liar
 l found on the cold pavement
 While returning in glory | from a grand hunt
 For a 3 AM quesadilla
 systlin
 I need this framed on my wall it's so beautiful.
 ay @systlin hmu
 Odinn spake
 Bright the stun shone At
 the time of pors birth
 A2o bafhed his count
 nance falr
 Loki, toolf-father
 the tricksterthe liar
 lfouno onthe colo
 pavement
 While refurning in
 glory fromAgrand hcun
 @systlin
 My husband complained that this was more Shakespeare
 than Eddas, and I challenged him to do better
 Solen sken, skont gyllene
 Dagen Tor toddes
 På trottoaren, vid Taco Bell
 Där läg Loke
 My translation:
 The sun shone, sweet golden
 The day of Tor's birth
 On the tarmac, by Taco Bell
 There lay Lok
 For poetry reasons, Thor needs the Swedish spelling.)
 ay yo show ur husband
 Solen sken, skönt gyllene
 B frottoren, vis Caco bell
 Sr lkgloke
 @bold-sartorial-statement no but hang on this should be in
 (oops spot the typos)
 i wanna translate this into icelandic so imma do it
 Sólin skein, biört og gulin
 io faeoingu pors
 å stignum vio Taco Bel
 Par lá Loki
 The amount of quality going into these shitposts is amazing
 This is not shitposting, this is transformative work!
 Source: kirkspocks
Norse Poem

Norse Poem

Being Alone, Beer, and Crying: my favourite legend from the norse mythology is when a giant steals mjolnir and says he'll give it back if he can have Freyja as his bride, but she refuses to go so instead Thor dresses up as her and Loki as her handmaiden and then at the wedding the giant places mjolnir in his bride's (thor) lap and thor reveals himself and kills everybody and if that shouldn't be made a short film with I don't know what should Do yo think they notice (Nah 443 systlin: thehornedwitch: systlin: rowantheexplorer: systlin: rowantheexplorer: systlin: fandomsandanythingelse: I was reading Hammer of Thor and this story was referenced and i just ran across this and honestly i can’t think of anything else SHORT film I demand TWO HOURS OF THIS The scene where Loki shifts himself into a lovely maiden and somehow smooth talks Freyja into letting them borrow Brisingamen for the escapade alone is worth a short film.  Image text is missing my favorite part, that what almost gave Thor away was that he ate basically the entire wedding banquet himself, and Loki was like “see, isn’t she a catch with her healthy appetite?” He also drank literally all of their beer and mead.  All of it.  All.  Of.  It.  To be fair, pretty sure Freyja could also drink all of Jotunheim under the table if she wanted, but she’d probably be classier about it. Also there’s a bit where Thor’s eyes literally /glow with rage/ and of course the giants notice.Loki’s save? “She’s been… crying… all night…. for… love…. of…. you????” and it WORKS, SOMEHOW. Look Loki got 18 for Charisma and then leveled it up at every chance he got, he’s got like a +24 to Deception checks at this point it’s ridiculous.  Of course Odin has a +40 to Perception, so he can usually see through it.
Being Alone, Beer, and Crying: my favourite legend from the norse
 mythology is when a giant steals
 mjolnir and says he'll give it back if he
 can have Freyja as his bride, but she
 refuses to go so instead Thor dresses
 up as her and Loki as her handmaiden
 and then at the wedding the giant
 places mjolnir in his bride's (thor) lap
 and thor reveals himself and kills
 everybody and if that shouldn't be
 made a short film with I don't know
 what should
 Do yo
 think they
 notice
 (Nah
 443
systlin:
thehornedwitch:

systlin:

rowantheexplorer:

systlin:


rowantheexplorer:

systlin:


fandomsandanythingelse:
I was reading Hammer of Thor and this story was referenced and i just ran across this and honestly i can’t think of anything else
SHORT film I demand TWO HOURS OF THIS
The scene where Loki shifts himself into a lovely maiden and somehow smooth talks Freyja into letting them borrow Brisingamen for the escapade alone is worth a short film. 


Image text is missing my favorite part, that what almost gave Thor away was that he ate basically the entire wedding banquet himself, and Loki was like “see, isn’t she a catch with her healthy appetite?”

He also drank literally all of their beer and mead. 
All of it. 
All. 
Of. 
It. 


To be fair, pretty sure Freyja could also drink all of Jotunheim under the table if she wanted, but she’d probably be classier about it.


Also there’s a bit where Thor’s eyes literally /glow with rage/ and of course the giants notice.Loki’s save? “She’s been… crying… all night…. for… love…. of…. you????” and it WORKS, SOMEHOW.

Look Loki got 18 for Charisma and then leveled it up at every chance he got, he’s got like a +24 to Deception checks at this point it’s ridiculous. 
Of course Odin has a +40 to Perception, so he can usually see through it.

systlin: thehornedwitch: systlin: rowantheexplorer: systlin: rowantheexplorer: systlin: fandomsandanythingelse: I was reading Hammer...

Matt Damon, Target, and Tumblr: ldidn't do it for him. fyeahmarvel: Originally written by Loki, directed by Loki as Odin, played by Matt Damon as LokiI’ll tell father what you did here today…I didn’t do it for him.
Matt Damon, Target, and Tumblr: ldidn't do it for him.
fyeahmarvel:

Originally written by Loki, directed by Loki as Odin, played by Matt Damon as LokiI’ll tell father what you did here today…I didn’t do it for him.

fyeahmarvel: Originally written by Loki, directed by Loki as Odin, played by Matt Damon as LokiI’ll tell father what you did here today…I d...

Hearts, Old, and Odin: 5 week old Little Odin may be missing an eye, but he steals hearts where ever he goes!
Hearts, Old, and Odin: 5 week old Little Odin may be missing an eye, but he steals hearts where ever he goes!

5 week old Little Odin may be missing an eye, but he steals hearts where ever he goes!

Being Alone, Beer, and Crying: my favourite legend from the norse mythology is when a giant steals mjolnir and says he'll give it back if he can have Freyja as his bride, but she refuses to go so instead Thor dresses up as her and Loki as her handmaiden and then at the wedding the giant places mjolnir in his bride's (thor) lap and thor reveals himself and kills everybody and if that shouldn't be made a short film with I don't know what should Do yo think they notice (Nah 443 systlin: thehornedwitch: systlin: rowantheexplorer: systlin: rowantheexplorer: systlin: fandomsandanythingelse: I was reading Hammer of Thor and this story was referenced and i just ran across this and honestly i can’t think of anything else SHORT film I demand TWO HOURS OF THIS The scene where Loki shifts himself into a lovely maiden and somehow smooth talks Freyja into letting them borrow Brisingamen for the escapade alone is worth a short film.  Image text is missing my favorite part, that what almost gave Thor away was that he ate basically the entire wedding banquet himself, and Loki was like “see, isn’t she a catch with her healthy appetite?” He also drank literally all of their beer and mead.  All of it.  All.  Of.  It.  To be fair, pretty sure Freyja could also drink all of Jotunheim under the table if she wanted, but she’d probably be classier about it. Also there’s a bit where Thor’s eyes literally /glow with rage/ and of course the giants notice.Loki’s save? “She’s been… crying… all night…. for… love…. of…. you????” and it WORKS, SOMEHOW. Look Loki got 18 for Charisma and then leveled it up at every chance he got, he’s got like a +24 to Deception checks at this point it’s ridiculous.  Of course Odin has a +40 to Perception, so he can usually see through it.
Being Alone, Beer, and Crying: my favourite legend from the norse
 mythology is when a giant steals
 mjolnir and says he'll give it back if he
 can have Freyja as his bride, but she
 refuses to go so instead Thor dresses
 up as her and Loki as her handmaiden
 and then at the wedding the giant
 places mjolnir in his bride's (thor) lap
 and thor reveals himself and kills
 everybody and if that shouldn't be
 made a short film with I don't know
 what should
 Do yo
 think they
 notice
 (Nah
 443
systlin:
thehornedwitch:

systlin:

rowantheexplorer:

systlin:


rowantheexplorer:

systlin:


fandomsandanythingelse:
I was reading Hammer of Thor and this story was referenced and i just ran across this and honestly i can’t think of anything else
SHORT film I demand TWO HOURS OF THIS
The scene where Loki shifts himself into a lovely maiden and somehow smooth talks Freyja into letting them borrow Brisingamen for the escapade alone is worth a short film. 


Image text is missing my favorite part, that what almost gave Thor away was that he ate basically the entire wedding banquet himself, and Loki was like “see, isn’t she a catch with her healthy appetite?”

He also drank literally all of their beer and mead. 
All of it. 
All. 
Of. 
It. 


To be fair, pretty sure Freyja could also drink all of Jotunheim under the table if she wanted, but she’d probably be classier about it.


Also there’s a bit where Thor’s eyes literally /glow with rage/ and of course the giants notice.Loki’s save? “She’s been… crying… all night…. for… love…. of…. you????” and it WORKS, SOMEHOW.

Look Loki got 18 for Charisma and then leveled it up at every chance he got, he’s got like a +24 to Deception checks at this point it’s ridiculous. 
Of course Odin has a +40 to Perception, so he can usually see through it.

systlin: thehornedwitch: systlin: rowantheexplorer: systlin: rowantheexplorer: systlin: fandomsandanythingelse: I was reading Hammer...

Confidence, Confused, and Crush: how to know you are a norse mythology geek upon seeing THIS in the thor: ragnarok trailer you scream, "FENRIR! HI PUPPER!!! auntieval ME, WHEN THEGREAT WOLF FENRIR BREAKS FREE OF HIS CHAINS AND RACES OFF TO CONSUME ODIN, SIGNALING THE BEGINNING OF RAGNAROK AND THE DESTRUCTION OF THE WORLD ohmy gosh puppy! come here pap!l oh, you are SUCH a good bon! let me pet your tummy. IT GOT BETTER OMFG IM CRYING Yeah.. me too. I wanna pat the very big pupper poztatt And this is how The End is stopped. Not by the gods or goddesses, the other races than man, no. It is Tumblr. As a mass running after a now confused and tail tucking Fenrir whining softly as the crowd chants "PUPPER! PUPPER! PUPPER! kyraneko Better yet: Fenrir escapes his chains and lopes forward to destroy the earth, and is met by a crowd of people. An army, Fenrir thinks, and bares his teeth in a ferocious snarl and charges toward them They cheer Wait. cheer? Fenrir slows, confused. He smells no fear senses no rage. This is a very strange army. The first hand-weaponless!-reaches for himc he tenses, ready to tear the offending limb to shreds, and lets out a high little yippy whine when it pats him about the ears Immediately the noise is reproduced by some four or five of the nearest humans, he smells excitement; more hands are patting him It's nice The humans crowd around him, patting him and scritching him and shuffling around to give others a chance. Voices coo, and make puppy noises, and someone catches just the right spot and he cocks his leg and scratches himself, drawing a multitude of oohs and ahhs and cheers and squees At some point, his hunger awakens at the scent of burnt fleshç a human has brought him what he later learns is a hot dog: he swallows it in one bite, to more cheering, and looks around hopefully for more It is not long before more is bought: steaks and Big Macs and bacon; it seems like much of the group has brought him a snack of some kind and was hoping for a chance to give it to him. The End of the World is supposed to be at hand, but Fenrir does not care. His hunger sated, his battle-lust swept away by a tide of gently petting hands, he rolls over, careful not to crush his many companions, and takes a nap. Who's a good boy?" they ask him, over and over s this some psychological warfare, he won ders, designed to undermine his confidence and remind him that he is nothing more than a monster who needs to be chained? Who's a good boy, huh, huh? "Who's my good boy? And then one of them answers the question for him. You are Me? he thinks. But if there was any doubt, she confirms it You are, yes you are Fenrirs tongue hangs out of his mouth as he grins. 'm a good boy! @lectorel Good post FENRIR IS PUPPER Odin will be the first to tell you, FENRIR IS A VERY GOOD BOY LARGE PUP MUST PET how to know you are a norse mythology geek upon seeing: "Odin il be the first to tell you, FENRIR IS A VERY GOOD BOY you say: the fuck he won't Source: sweetdreamr 40,277 notes If this isnt the final act Ill be mad
Confidence, Confused, and Crush: how to know you are a
 norse mythology geek
 upon seeing THIS in the thor: ragnarok trailer
 you scream, "FENRIR! HI PUPPER!!!
 auntieval
 ME, WHEN THEGREAT WOLF FENRIR BREAKS FREE
 OF HIS CHAINS AND RACES OFF TO CONSUME ODIN,
 SIGNALING THE BEGINNING OF RAGNAROK AND THE
 DESTRUCTION OF THE WORLD
 ohmy gosh puppy! come here pap!l oh, you are
 SUCH a good bon! let me pet your tummy.
 IT GOT BETTER OMFG IM CRYING
 Yeah.. me too. I wanna pat the very big
 pupper
 poztatt
 And this is how The End is stopped. Not by
 the gods or goddesses, the other races than
 man, no. It is Tumblr. As a mass running
 after a now confused and tail tucking Fenrir
 whining softly as the crowd chants "PUPPER!
 PUPPER! PUPPER!
 kyraneko
 Better yet: Fenrir escapes his chains and
 lopes forward to destroy the earth, and is met
 by a crowd of people. An army, Fenrir thinks,
 and bares his teeth in a ferocious snarl and
 charges toward them
 They cheer
 Wait. cheer?
 Fenrir slows, confused. He smells no fear
 senses no rage. This is a very strange army.
 The first hand-weaponless!-reaches for himc
 he tenses, ready to tear the offending limb to
 shreds, and lets out a high little yippy whine
 when it pats him about the ears
 Immediately the noise is reproduced by some
 four or five of the nearest humans, he smells
 excitement; more hands are patting him
 It's nice
 The humans crowd around him, patting him
 and scritching him and shuffling around to
 give others a chance. Voices coo, and make
 puppy noises, and someone catches just the
 right spot and he cocks his leg and scratches
 himself, drawing a multitude of oohs and ahhs
 and cheers and squees
 At some point, his hunger awakens at the
 scent of burnt fleshç a human has brought him
 what he later learns is a hot dog: he swallows
 it in one bite, to more cheering, and looks
 around hopefully for more
 It is not long before more is bought: steaks
 and Big Macs and bacon; it seems like much
 of the group has brought him a snack of some
 kind and was hoping for a chance to give it to
 him.
 The End of the World is supposed to be at
 hand, but Fenrir does not care. His hunger
 sated, his battle-lust swept away by a tide of
 gently petting hands, he rolls over, careful not
 to crush his many companions, and takes a
 nap.
 Who's a good boy?" they ask him, over and
 over
 s this some psychological warfare, he won
 ders, designed to undermine his confidence
 and remind him that he is nothing more than a
 monster who needs to be chained?
 Who's a good boy, huh, huh? "Who's my good
 boy?
 And then one of them answers the question
 for him.
 You are
 Me? he thinks. But if there was any doubt,
 she confirms it
 You are, yes you are
 Fenrirs tongue hangs out of his mouth as he
 grins. 'm a good boy!
 @lectorel
 Good post
 FENRIR IS PUPPER
 Odin will be the first to tell you, FENRIR IS A
 VERY GOOD BOY
 LARGE PUP MUST PET
 how to know you are a norse mythology geek
 upon seeing: "Odin il be the first to tell you,
 FENRIR IS A VERY GOOD BOY
 you say: the fuck he won't
 Source: sweetdreamr
 40,277 notes
If this isnt the final act Ill be mad

If this isnt the final act Ill be mad