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    offspring: crispy-ghee:

3 of Cousin’s other children: Little Knife, Little Flame, and Naniandi. (aka, the last of the group of Cousin’s kids that I’ll draw because he has like 50 or something and I’m not designing all of them, I’m sorry. Feel free to pretend that your OC is Cousin’s kid, it’ll probably work out.)Little Knife:  Cousin’s youngest son and the last he had with Fury before she died. A cocky little shit sometimes, but with good reason. While smaller than all his sibs, his agility and stealth made him an asset to hunting parties. 

His relationship w/ Jagged-Tooth sucks. He and Kal'thnde are very close, tho, as Cousin was already aging and too busy chaperoning youngbloods to pay him as much attention as he should’ve, Kal and his sisters more or less raised him and got between him and Jagged-Tooth often.



Lauded for his nimbleness and his lightning speed while maintaining near-silence, he has become an asset in his hunting party. His abilities also make him sought after for off-world reconnaissance, where he travels to planets to review and evaluate their suitability for hunting.Little Knife is one of the 20 or so Yautja who join Cousin to form the Yautja Faction, against the orders of the Elder Council. 12 of his brothers also form the team, including Jagged-Tooth and Kal’thnde. Little Flame: 

Celebrated Huntress, Several times Champion of inter-tribal games and so coveted and beloved beyond her own clan. Aggressive, abrasive, but loyal, like her father in his youth. Little Flame is close to Kal and Little Knife, and was one of Cousin’s children that fought against Jagged-Tooth’s bad attitude–ballsy, as he’s biotic. She and the eldest brother never really learned to get along, but there is begrudging respect for each others achievements.

Little Flame basically saved her father’s life when at one point she heard whispers that some elders were speaking of sending Enforcers or some other group of Hunters to go after Cousin and his Renegades. She sent him warnings, and killed most of the would-be trackers herself.Naniandi: 

Cousin’s eldest Daughter. Sometimes called Furious Patience, a play on her mother’s name (Patient Fury), since she’s so much like her. One of the tribe matriarchs, and often invited alongside the tribe’s elders to speak diplomacy with other clans when needed. Naniandi is the closest Jagged-Tooth is to any of his family, maybe having to do w/ how much like his mother she is, even though she is a century or so younger than him. She’s basically all around respected by everyone in Cousin’s family, as well as their overall clan

It’s Naniandi’s influence and hard work that made it possible for Cousin and the remainder of the Yautja faction to return to Homeworld after they’d disgraced themselves to go fight alongside Shepard. She ultimately convinced the elders to reinstate honor and title to her father.

Yautja joke (but only a little) about wishing to birth armies. Compared to others his age, Cousin only has a moderate amount of offspring, but those that survived into his old age came out fierce, capable, and loyal to their family. It’s thanks to them he could be with Shepard.


    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                offspring: crispy-ghee:

3 of Cousin’s other children: Little Knife, Little Flame, and Naniandi. (aka, the last of the group of Cousin’s kids that I’ll draw because he has like 50 or something and I’m not designing all of them, I’m sorry. Feel free to pretend that your OC is Cousin’s kid, it’ll probably work out.)Little Knife:  Cousin’s youngest son and the last he had with Fury before she died. A cocky little shit sometimes, but with good reason. While smaller than all his sibs, his agility and stealth made him an asset to hunting parties. 

His relationship w/ Jagged-Tooth sucks. He and Kal'thnde are very close, tho, as Cousin was already aging and too busy chaperoning youngbloods to pay him as much attention as he should’ve, Kal and his sisters more or less raised him and got between him and Jagged-Tooth often.



Lauded for his nimbleness and his lightning speed while maintaining near-silence, he has become an asset in his hunting party. His abilities also make him sought after for off-world reconnaissance, where he travels to planets to review and evaluate their suitability for hunting.Little Knife is one of the 20 or so Yautja who join Cousin to form the Yautja Faction, against the orders of the Elder Council. 12 of his brothers also form the team, including Jagged-Tooth and Kal’thnde. Little Flame: 

Celebrated Huntress, Several times Champion of inter-tribal games and so coveted and beloved beyond her own clan. Aggressive, abrasive, but loyal, like her father in his youth. Little Flame is close to Kal and Little Knife, and was one of Cousin’s children that fought against Jagged-Tooth’s bad attitude–ballsy, as he’s biotic. She and the eldest brother never really learned to get along, but there is begrudging respect for each others achievements.

Little Flame basically saved her father’s life when at one point she heard whispers that some elders were speaking of sending Enforcers or some other group of Hunters to go after Cousin and his Renegades. She sent him warnings, and killed most of the would-be trackers herself.Naniandi: 

Cousin’s eldest Daughter. Sometimes called Furious Patience, a play on her mother’s name (Patient Fury), since she’s so much like her. One of the tribe matriarchs, and often invited alongside the tribe’s elders to speak diplomacy with other clans when needed. Naniandi is the closest Jagged-Tooth is to any of his family, maybe having to do w/ how much like his mother she is, even though she is a century or so younger than him. She’s basically all around respected by everyone in Cousin’s family, as well as their overall clan

It’s Naniandi’s influence and hard work that made it possible for Cousin and the remainder of the Yautja faction to return to Homeworld after they’d disgraced themselves to go fight alongside Shepard. She ultimately convinced the elders to reinstate honor and title to her father.

Yautja joke (but only a little) about wishing to birth armies. Compared to others his age, Cousin only has a moderate amount of offspring, but those that survived into his old age came out fierce, capable, and loyal to their family. It’s thanks to them he could be with Shepard.


                
            

            
            
crispy-ghee:

3 of Cousin’s other children: Little Knife, Little Flame, and Naniandi. (aka, the last of the group of Cousin’s kids that I...

            
            
        

    



        

        
        

            







    offspring: why-animals-do-the-thing:

actualaster:

kidzbopdeathgrips:

sydario:


springcottage:
thedragonwoodconservancy on ig

laser gun gator boys


oh my god i didn’t realize this video had audio

Okay as adorable as this looks, I’m pretty sure that’s a distress sound?  A “mommy help me I’m scared come save me!” sound?
@why-animals-do-the-thing

This video is from Dragonwood Wildlife Conservancy, and they are yearling (last year’s babies) Cuban crocodiles. Good news for you, this isn’t actually a distress call! According to @kaijutegu​ (and her giant bookshelf full of reptile resources), the laser sounds are an affiliative social call that young Cuban crocodiles use to communicate with their parents. They normally stop making the noise at around two years old, which is approximately when they start dispersing from the family group. 
See, Cuban crocodiles are a super social species - and one of the few where the fathers stick around and provide paternal care for the babies! In the wild, babies would regularly interact with both parents, including when they provide food. This call is basically the type of vocalization that the babies use to communicated with their parents. 
These crocodiles are being hand-raised as part of a private-sector breeding and reintroduction program (because the parents are so protective of their offspring that if you left them the babies to raise, you’d never be able to safely get close to them), and so they’re responding to the guy in the video the same way because he’s constant known safe individual and also the provider of food. He’s not a threat - his presence is a good thing, and he’s worth interacting with because it normally means food. You can also tell from their behavior and body language that they’re not stressed: some of the crocodiles are actively climbing on him and interaction of their own volition, but the ones that aren’t don’t show any indicators of hyper-vigilance. If that were a distress call, every crocodile that heard it would be alert and on edge looking for the threat. Distress calls tend to only happen once or twice, because in the wild continuing to make noise makes a baby more vulnerable: so these crocodiles wouldn’t be continually vocalizing if they felt threatened. There’s no snapping or gaping or freezing, all of which would be behavioral indicators of distress or discomfort. (Here’s a video of a baby nile crocodile being harassed by photographers which will give you a visual reference for both freezing and gaping.)
So, hey, this is certifiably cute - and good for conservation! 



Babus
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                offspring: why-animals-do-the-thing:

actualaster:

kidzbopdeathgrips:

sydario:


springcottage:
thedragonwoodconservancy on ig

laser gun gator boys


oh my god i didn’t realize this video had audio

Okay as adorable as this looks, I’m pretty sure that’s a distress sound?  A “mommy help me I’m scared come save me!” sound?
@why-animals-do-the-thing

This video is from Dragonwood Wildlife Conservancy, and they are yearling (last year’s babies) Cuban crocodiles. Good news for you, this isn’t actually a distress call! According to @kaijutegu​ (and her giant bookshelf full of reptile resources), the laser sounds are an affiliative social call that young Cuban crocodiles use to communicate with their parents. They normally stop making the noise at around two years old, which is approximately when they start dispersing from the family group. 
See, Cuban crocodiles are a super social species - and one of the few where the fathers stick around and provide paternal care for the babies! In the wild, babies would regularly interact with both parents, including when they provide food. This call is basically the type of vocalization that the babies use to communicated with their parents. 
These crocodiles are being hand-raised as part of a private-sector breeding and reintroduction program (because the parents are so protective of their offspring that if you left them the babies to raise, you’d never be able to safely get close to them), and so they’re responding to the guy in the video the same way because he’s constant known safe individual and also the provider of food. He’s not a threat - his presence is a good thing, and he’s worth interacting with because it normally means food. You can also tell from their behavior and body language that they’re not stressed: some of the crocodiles are actively climbing on him and interaction of their own volition, but the ones that aren’t don’t show any indicators of hyper-vigilance. If that were a distress call, every crocodile that heard it would be alert and on edge looking for the threat. Distress calls tend to only happen once or twice, because in the wild continuing to make noise makes a baby more vulnerable: so these crocodiles wouldn’t be continually vocalizing if they felt threatened. There’s no snapping or gaping or freezing, all of which would be behavioral indicators of distress or discomfort. (Here’s a video of a baby nile crocodile being harassed by photographers which will give you a visual reference for both freezing and gaping.)
So, hey, this is certifiably cute - and good for conservation! 



Babus
                
                

                
            

            
            
why-animals-do-the-thing:

actualaster:

kidzbopdeathgrips:

sydario:


springcottage:
thedragonwoodconservancy on ig

laser gun gator bo...

            
            
        

    



        

        
        

            






        

        
        

            






        

        
        

            






        

        
        

            







    offspring: Reese St
 Dearing St
 Waddell St
 Waddell St
 Tree That Owns Itself
 Directions
 Write a review
 The Tree That Owns Itself is a white oak tree, widely assumed to have
 legal ownership of itself and of all land within eight feet of its base.
 Wikipedia
 Address: South Finley Street, Athens, GA 30605, United States
 Reviews
 4.3
 6 Google reviews
 otteroftheworld
 My parents live in this town and the city legally
 can't tear the tree down to build or anything
 because the tree has its own legal rights and
 they can't do anything about it.
 vnicent
 how does. how does this happen. how DID this happen
 giraffepoliceforce
 love this story because this guy in the early 1800's had so
 many great childhood memories of this tree and wanted to
 make sure it was protected no matter what. So he deeded
 the ownership of the tree to itself and everyone just went
 with it.
 Then in 1942 this intense windstorm came and knocked
 the tree over. And people were bummed. But someone had
 saved an acorn from the original tree, so they planted that
 and now Son of the Tree That Owns Itself is over 50 feet
 tall.
 And since this new tree is technically the offspring of the
 original tree it's considered to have legally inherited the
 plot of land it's inhabiting
 Two generations of trees owning land is amazing and if
 you don't think this is the coolest thing get right out of my
 face.
 S Hull St
 S Hu
 Florida Ave
 N Newton St
 S Finley St
 pe St
 S Pope St
 N Church St
 S Harris St
Wholesome treeeeeeeeeeee
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                offspring: Reese St
 Dearing St
 Waddell St
 Waddell St
 Tree That Owns Itself
 Directions
 Write a review
 The Tree That Owns Itself is a white oak tree, widely assumed to have
 legal ownership of itself and of all land within eight feet of its base.
 Wikipedia
 Address: South Finley Street, Athens, GA 30605, United States
 Reviews
 4.3
 6 Google reviews
 otteroftheworld
 My parents live in this town and the city legally
 can't tear the tree down to build or anything
 because the tree has its own legal rights and
 they can't do anything about it.
 vnicent
 how does. how does this happen. how DID this happen
 giraffepoliceforce
 love this story because this guy in the early 1800's had so
 many great childhood memories of this tree and wanted to
 make sure it was protected no matter what. So he deeded
 the ownership of the tree to itself and everyone just went
 with it.
 Then in 1942 this intense windstorm came and knocked
 the tree over. And people were bummed. But someone had
 saved an acorn from the original tree, so they planted that
 and now Son of the Tree That Owns Itself is over 50 feet
 tall.
 And since this new tree is technically the offspring of the
 original tree it's considered to have legally inherited the
 plot of land it's inhabiting
 Two generations of trees owning land is amazing and if
 you don't think this is the coolest thing get right out of my
 face.
 S Hull St
 S Hu
 Florida Ave
 N Newton St
 S Finley St
 pe St
 S Pope St
 N Church St
 S Harris St
Wholesome treeeeeeeeeeee
                
            

            
            
Wholesome treeeeeeeeeeee

            
            
        

    



        

        
        

            






        

        
        

            






        

        
        

            






        

        
        

            






        

        
        

            






        

        
        

            






        

        
        

            






        

        
        

            






        

        
        

            






        

        
        

            






        

        
        

            






        

        
        

            






        

        
        

            






        

        
        

            






        

        
        

            






        

        
        

            






        

        
        

            







    offspring: (Ja)ded @thefathippy 20h
 maooo000
 Judy Harris
 Yesterday at 5:04 PM.
 0+
 Why the zoo charge us to
 look at animals they stole?
 this ain't even yall shit
 Sharon
 @MySharona1987
 Replying to @thefathippy
 To be fair, they are doing a lot to help pandas
 screw.
 4:56 AM- 11 Jul 2018
mysharona1987:

little-butch-crouton:
severelynerdysheep:

somehavegonemissing:

spookyboyfelix:

princess-nakamoto:


mysharona1987:


No, seriously: I do think zoos do a *lot* of good. Much of the time.
It’s not necessarily a Seaworld situation.


Yeah a lot of animals don’t even have habitats anymore anyway. So zoos are just giving them a home. Even if people come to see them nearly everyday, its better then being kicked out of their habitat eventually by man.


The funds from zoos are often used to feed the animals anyway (most zoos are non profit they cant use that money for people) if you pay to go to the zoo you are paying to keep those animals alive

Zoos also educate people about animals, allowing for people to fall in love with the weird and wonderful.  They help promote habitat preservation and putting a stop to poaching. Please don’t dismiss zoos, they’re not the same places as they used to be in the 1800s, or even the mid 1900s. 

So while Zoos are absolutely miles better than they were historical, there are still many serious issues. In terms of education, while I totally get why most people believe that zoos teach people (children especially) about how to protect animals and their habitats and are great places of education, this is not actually the case. In reality viewing captive animals in zoos only teaches people how animals react to boredom, depression, and stress in captive situations. The most effective methods of education in zoos come via presenting videos, documentaries, interactive modules, graphic displays, and computer simulations. which all show animals in their natural environments and do not require any animals to actually be kept in zoos.
In terms of the work Zoos to in regards to species conservation and habitat preservation, zoos really are not effective, especially compared to other conservation and preservation work. While there are zoos that do good conservation work, most of the significant conservation work is not from zoos but other organizations that work with wildlife and natural habitats. Most animals in captivity are not even classified as endangered, with the priority of Zoos being in getting hold of animals popular with visitors, rather than those who face extinction. When it comes to breeding programs (and breeding animals in captivity aren’t the best way to help in conservation)   zoos do spend plenty of money on these programs however half of the animals being bred by Zoos are not classed as endangered in the wild and 25% are not threatened species but ones popular with visitors. It’s also actually massively more expensive to keep animals captive in zoos than to protect equivalent numbers of them in the wild! When it comes to the research, few Zoos actually support meaningful scientific research (with fewer employing scientists with full-time research jobs) and of those that do employ scientists its common for these scientists to study free-living animals rather than those within the zoo. Due to the nature of any research that does take place in zoos, the results of this research also generates little information about how to best conserve species in the wild as studies of captive animals have limited benefits to animals in the wild and animals brought up in captivity are less likely to survive in the wild if reintroduced as they often don’t have the natural behaviors needed for survival in the wild. More effective methods of habitat preservation and species conservations would be a multipronged approach tackling habitat loss and climate change, investing in conservation programs in the wild, education, working with local communities, seriously addressing poaching etc. and also to move away from the Zoo model towards more ethical and effective models of species conservation. 
Just a few of the other ethical issues with Zoos include surplus animals, who, when grow older, and are less attractive to patrons, will often be sold or killed. Animals who breed frequently also are sometimes sold to game farms and ranches where hunters pay to kill them and other surplus animals are sometimes sold to roadside zoos,, private individuals, animal dealers, or to laboratories for experimentation purposes. The animals not sold often end up being fed to other zoo animals. In terms of the health of these captive animals, many develop health conditions and mental health problems such as Zoochosis. Of course, a major problem with zoos as well is that the animals who live there are kept in enclosures that don’t allow them to live their lives in a natural way and don’t compare with the natural habitat the animals were meant to be in. Zoo animals have to spend day after day, week after week, year after year in the exact same enclosure. This makes their lives very monotonous. Take elephants, for example, elephants in the wild, are used to traveling many miles a day in herds of about ten related adults and their offspring but in zoos are usually kept in pairs or even isolated in incredibly small enclosures compared to what they are used to in the wild. Elephants kept in zoos often show many signs of being mental distress and the average lifespan of elephants in zoos is around 16-18 years, instead of the 50-70 years they can live in the wild.


I’m just going to copy paste your response when people ask me what I’m going to school for. I’m very pro zoo and I want animals in their natural habitat just as much.

This is genuinely quite an interesting discussion.
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                offspring: (Ja)ded @thefathippy 20h
 maooo000
 Judy Harris
 Yesterday at 5:04 PM.
 0+
 Why the zoo charge us to
 look at animals they stole?
 this ain't even yall shit
 Sharon
 @MySharona1987
 Replying to @thefathippy
 To be fair, they are doing a lot to help pandas
 screw.
 4:56 AM- 11 Jul 2018
mysharona1987:

little-butch-crouton:
severelynerdysheep:

somehavegonemissing:

spookyboyfelix:

princess-nakamoto:


mysharona1987:


No, seriously: I do think zoos do a *lot* of good. Much of the time.
It’s not necessarily a Seaworld situation.


Yeah a lot of animals don’t even have habitats anymore anyway. So zoos are just giving them a home. Even if people come to see them nearly everyday, its better then being kicked out of their habitat eventually by man.


The funds from zoos are often used to feed the animals anyway (most zoos are non profit they cant use that money for people) if you pay to go to the zoo you are paying to keep those animals alive

Zoos also educate people about animals, allowing for people to fall in love with the weird and wonderful.  They help promote habitat preservation and putting a stop to poaching. Please don’t dismiss zoos, they’re not the same places as they used to be in the 1800s, or even the mid 1900s. 

So while Zoos are absolutely miles better than they were historical, there are still many serious issues. In terms of education, while I totally get why most people believe that zoos teach people (children especially) about how to protect animals and their habitats and are great places of education, this is not actually the case. In reality viewing captive animals in zoos only teaches people how animals react to boredom, depression, and stress in captive situations. The most effective methods of education in zoos come via presenting videos, documentaries, interactive modules, graphic displays, and computer simulations. which all show animals in their natural environments and do not require any animals to actually be kept in zoos.
In terms of the work Zoos to in regards to species conservation and habitat preservation, zoos really are not effective, especially compared to other conservation and preservation work. While there are zoos that do good conservation work, most of the significant conservation work is not from zoos but other organizations that work with wildlife and natural habitats. Most animals in captivity are not even classified as endangered, with the priority of Zoos being in getting hold of animals popular with visitors, rather than those who face extinction. When it comes to breeding programs (and breeding animals in captivity aren’t the best way to help in conservation)   zoos do spend plenty of money on these programs however half of the animals being bred by Zoos are not classed as endangered in the wild and 25% are not threatened species but ones popular with visitors. It’s also actually massively more expensive to keep animals captive in zoos than to protect equivalent numbers of them in the wild! When it comes to the research, few Zoos actually support meaningful scientific research (with fewer employing scientists with full-time research jobs) and of those that do employ scientists its common for these scientists to study free-living animals rather than those within the zoo. Due to the nature of any research that does take place in zoos, the results of this research also generates little information about how to best conserve species in the wild as studies of captive animals have limited benefits to animals in the wild and animals brought up in captivity are less likely to survive in the wild if reintroduced as they often don’t have the natural behaviors needed for survival in the wild. More effective methods of habitat preservation and species conservations would be a multipronged approach tackling habitat loss and climate change, investing in conservation programs in the wild, education, working with local communities, seriously addressing poaching etc. and also to move away from the Zoo model towards more ethical and effective models of species conservation. 
Just a few of the other ethical issues with Zoos include surplus animals, who, when grow older, and are less attractive to patrons, will often be sold or killed. Animals who breed frequently also are sometimes sold to game farms and ranches where hunters pay to kill them and other surplus animals are sometimes sold to roadside zoos,, private individuals, animal dealers, or to laboratories for experimentation purposes. The animals not sold often end up being fed to other zoo animals. In terms of the health of these captive animals, many develop health conditions and mental health problems such as Zoochosis. Of course, a major problem with zoos as well is that the animals who live there are kept in enclosures that don’t allow them to live their lives in a natural way and don’t compare with the natural habitat the animals were meant to be in. Zoo animals have to spend day after day, week after week, year after year in the exact same enclosure. This makes their lives very monotonous. Take elephants, for example, elephants in the wild, are used to traveling many miles a day in herds of about ten related adults and their offspring but in zoos are usually kept in pairs or even isolated in incredibly small enclosures compared to what they are used to in the wild. Elephants kept in zoos often show many signs of being mental distress and the average lifespan of elephants in zoos is around 16-18 years, instead of the 50-70 years they can live in the wild.


I’m just going to copy paste your response when people ask me what I’m going to school for. I’m very pro zoo and I want animals in their natural habitat just as much.

This is genuinely quite an interesting discussion.
                
            

            
            
mysharona1987:

little-butch-crouton:
severelynerdysheep:

somehavegonemissing:

spookyboyfelix:

princess-nakamoto:


mysharona1987:


N...

            
            
        

    



        

        
        

            






        

        
        

            






        

        
        

            






        

        
        

            






        

        
        

            






        

        
        

            






        

        
        

            






        

        
        

            






        

        
        

            






        

        
        

            






        

        
        

            






        

        
        

            






        

        
        

            






        

        
        

            






        

        
        

            







    offspring: the biggest lie, i think, the intemet perpetuates about D&D is that a skinny
 ittle twink of a bard just needs to roll a nat 20 to seduce a dragon
 ike a dragon...a creature with more wealth and power than any other
 creature on the planet..a creature who is easily an 11/10 when they deign
 to take humanoid formwould look at your skinny little 8 STR half-elf Bard
 whose own father doesn't even love them and go...yeah I'd like to fuck that
 Counterpoint, my good man:
 Bragonsuck
 Dragons fuck, clearly, but not just any joe blow schmoe with a big
 Charisma stat. If I'm Joseph J Dragon sitting on a small hill of gold and
 jewels I'm not gonna waste my time boning every monsterfucking tiefling
 twink with a lyre. I would have standards.
 dragons are SUPER horny
 counterpoint: even if dragons are SUPER horny they've
 got better prospects than spindly little bards!lll They could be off fucking
 cloud giants or beholders or planetars!!ll They could be having sex with
 kraken in the middle of the ocean or fire giants in the mouth of an erupting
 There is a wealth of sexual excess and opportunity available to dragons, so
 much that they do not need to be slumming it with an adventurer who
 hasn't washed his ass in a month and a half and is probably covered in
 kobold blood by the time they get to the dragon's lairl
 I don't care how many times you cast Charm Monster, the Elder Dragon
 who has probably slept with more princesses than there are princedoms is
 not going to bitel When you have bedded the most beautiful mortals on the
 Prime Material Plane on a pile of gold and jewelry you are not gonna be
 looking twice at any MOTHERFUCKEr who can't at least True
 Polymorph to make things interesting
 you're right but please shut up you are actively ruining my 10 strength
 half-elf twink bard's sexual prospects with this post
 OP is right and they should say it
 Dragon
 Bf
 Giont
 Gnol
 Gobin
 Haiting
 Koboid
 Spite
 As we can see from this most excellent chart, dragons can and will fuck
 anything. Even humans do not compare. The only species that can match
 dragons for homy-ness is, in fact, nymphs.
 Therefore your twinky-ass lil bard has as good a chance as anyone. Go
 forth and thot your way through your DM's carefully planned Big Bad
 encounter and
 fuck the dragon.
 I'm not even sure where I stand on this argument but I absolutely need to
 keep that chart for reference, so
 That chart is not proof that a dragon would fuck anything
 and youre a charlatan for pretending it does!!!
 That is a crossbreeding chart not a horny chart, and it says right on it that
 what it is tracking is the likelyhood that a union between two races would
 yield offspring. It is NOT saying that a dragon WILL fuck any of those
 creatures, just that doing so would result in a half-dragon child
 If anything this just proves siderealsandman's point the dragon could have
 any creature or being under the sun so why the fuck would it ever settle for
 a shitty PC and their+1 light leather amor. What's the bard gonna say??
 You should fuck me because you techically can?? That bitch getting
 sauteed
 OP IS CORRECT SORRY BUT THE TWINK BARD ISNT
 GETTING ANY DRAGON ASS
 a dragon fucked a donkey in shrek, your argument is invalid
 Don't bring shrek into this
 OH YEAH?? YOU WANNA DO THIS?? FINE
 CLASS TRAITS OF A BARD
 1) Your spells inspire and invigorate your allies-Donkey's role in the film
 was to inspire and invigorate Shrek to begin his hero's quest and keep him
 on his path
 2) You channel magical power through words and music Doney never
 stopped talking or singing. That was his THING
 3) Key abilities: Charisma, Intelligence, Constitution- Do we even need to
 question this?? Charisma - he managed to convince a dragon to fuck him
 He gave both Fiona and Shrek the pep-talk they needed to come to terms
 with their feelings. Intelligence-He's COLOR BLIND and stl managed to
 figure out the flowers Fiona asked for. Constitution-dude you saw the shit
 he managed to survive in that movie
 CONCLUSION-SHREK IS A DND CAMPAIGN, DONKEY IS A BARD
 THAT SEDUCED THE DRAGON. NEVER QUESTION ME IN MY HOUSE
 AGAIN
advice-animal:

How to Fuck your Dragon
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                offspring: the biggest lie, i think, the intemet perpetuates about D&D is that a skinny
 ittle twink of a bard just needs to roll a nat 20 to seduce a dragon
 ike a dragon...a creature with more wealth and power than any other
 creature on the planet..a creature who is easily an 11/10 when they deign
 to take humanoid formwould look at your skinny little 8 STR half-elf Bard
 whose own father doesn't even love them and go...yeah I'd like to fuck that
 Counterpoint, my good man:
 Bragonsuck
 Dragons fuck, clearly, but not just any joe blow schmoe with a big
 Charisma stat. If I'm Joseph J Dragon sitting on a small hill of gold and
 jewels I'm not gonna waste my time boning every monsterfucking tiefling
 twink with a lyre. I would have standards.
 dragons are SUPER horny
 counterpoint: even if dragons are SUPER horny they've
 got better prospects than spindly little bards!lll They could be off fucking
 cloud giants or beholders or planetars!!ll They could be having sex with
 kraken in the middle of the ocean or fire giants in the mouth of an erupting
 There is a wealth of sexual excess and opportunity available to dragons, so
 much that they do not need to be slumming it with an adventurer who
 hasn't washed his ass in a month and a half and is probably covered in
 kobold blood by the time they get to the dragon's lairl
 I don't care how many times you cast Charm Monster, the Elder Dragon
 who has probably slept with more princesses than there are princedoms is
 not going to bitel When you have bedded the most beautiful mortals on the
 Prime Material Plane on a pile of gold and jewelry you are not gonna be
 looking twice at any MOTHERFUCKEr who can't at least True
 Polymorph to make things interesting
 you're right but please shut up you are actively ruining my 10 strength
 half-elf twink bard's sexual prospects with this post
 OP is right and they should say it
 Dragon
 Bf
 Giont
 Gnol
 Gobin
 Haiting
 Koboid
 Spite
 As we can see from this most excellent chart, dragons can and will fuck
 anything. Even humans do not compare. The only species that can match
 dragons for homy-ness is, in fact, nymphs.
 Therefore your twinky-ass lil bard has as good a chance as anyone. Go
 forth and thot your way through your DM's carefully planned Big Bad
 encounter and
 fuck the dragon.
 I'm not even sure where I stand on this argument but I absolutely need to
 keep that chart for reference, so
 That chart is not proof that a dragon would fuck anything
 and youre a charlatan for pretending it does!!!
 That is a crossbreeding chart not a horny chart, and it says right on it that
 what it is tracking is the likelyhood that a union between two races would
 yield offspring. It is NOT saying that a dragon WILL fuck any of those
 creatures, just that doing so would result in a half-dragon child
 If anything this just proves siderealsandman's point the dragon could have
 any creature or being under the sun so why the fuck would it ever settle for
 a shitty PC and their+1 light leather amor. What's the bard gonna say??
 You should fuck me because you techically can?? That bitch getting
 sauteed
 OP IS CORRECT SORRY BUT THE TWINK BARD ISNT
 GETTING ANY DRAGON ASS
 a dragon fucked a donkey in shrek, your argument is invalid
 Don't bring shrek into this
 OH YEAH?? YOU WANNA DO THIS?? FINE
 CLASS TRAITS OF A BARD
 1) Your spells inspire and invigorate your allies-Donkey's role in the film
 was to inspire and invigorate Shrek to begin his hero's quest and keep him
 on his path
 2) You channel magical power through words and music Doney never
 stopped talking or singing. That was his THING
 3) Key abilities: Charisma, Intelligence, Constitution- Do we even need to
 question this?? Charisma - he managed to convince a dragon to fuck him
 He gave both Fiona and Shrek the pep-talk they needed to come to terms
 with their feelings. Intelligence-He's COLOR BLIND and stl managed to
 figure out the flowers Fiona asked for. Constitution-dude you saw the shit
 he managed to survive in that movie
 CONCLUSION-SHREK IS A DND CAMPAIGN, DONKEY IS A BARD
 THAT SEDUCED THE DRAGON. NEVER QUESTION ME IN MY HOUSE
 AGAIN
advice-animal:

How to Fuck your Dragon
                
            

            
            
advice-animal:

How to Fuck your Dragon

            
            
        

    



        

        
        

            






        

        
        

            







    offspring: the biggest lie, i think, the intemet perpetuates about D&D is that a skinny
 ittle twink of a bard just needs to roll a nat 20 to seduce a dragon
 ike a dragon...a creature with more wealth and power than any other
 creature on the planet..a creature who is easily an 11/10 when they deign
 to take humanoid formwould look at your skinny little 8 STR half-elf Bard
 whose own father doesn't even love them and go...yeah I'd like to fuck that
 Counterpoint, my good man:
 Bragonsuck
 Dragons fuck, clearly, but not just any joe blow schmoe with a big
 Charisma stat. If I'm Joseph J Dragon sitting on a small hill of gold and
 jewels I'm not gonna waste my time boning every monsterfucking tiefling
 twink with a lyre. I would have standards.
 dragons are SUPER horny
 counterpoint: even if dragons are SUPER horny they've
 got better prospects than spindly little bards!lll They could be off fucking
 cloud giants or beholders or planetars!!ll They could be having sex with
 kraken in the middle of the ocean or fire giants in the mouth of an erupting
 There is a wealth of sexual excess and opportunity available to dragons, so
 much that they do not need to be slumming it with an adventurer who
 hasn't washed his ass in a month and a half and is probably covered in
 kobold blood by the time they get to the dragon's lairl
 I don't care how many times you cast Charm Monster, the Elder Dragon
 who has probably slept with more princesses than there are princedoms is
 not going to bitel When you have bedded the most beautiful mortals on the
 Prime Material Plane on a pile of gold and jewelry you are not gonna be
 looking twice at any MOTHERFUCKEr who can't at least True
 Polymorph to make things interesting
 you're right but please shut up you are actively ruining my 10 strength
 half-elf twink bard's sexual prospects with this post
 OP is right and they should say it
 Dragon
 Bf
 Giont
 Gnol
 Gobin
 Haiting
 Koboid
 Spite
 As we can see from this most excellent chart, dragons can and will fuck
 anything. Even humans do not compare. The only species that can match
 dragons for homy-ness is, in fact, nymphs.
 Therefore your twinky-ass lil bard has as good a chance as anyone. Go
 forth and thot your way through your DM's carefully planned Big Bad
 encounter and
 fuck the dragon.
 I'm not even sure where I stand on this argument but I absolutely need to
 keep that chart for reference, so
 That chart is not proof that a dragon would fuck anything
 and youre a charlatan for pretending it does!!!
 That is a crossbreeding chart not a horny chart, and it says right on it that
 what it is tracking is the likelyhood that a union between two races would
 yield offspring. It is NOT saying that a dragon WILL fuck any of those
 creatures, just that doing so would result in a half-dragon child
 If anything this just proves siderealsandman's point the dragon could have
 any creature or being under the sun so why the fuck would it ever settle for
 a shitty PC and their+1 light leather amor. What's the bard gonna say??
 You should fuck me because you techically can?? That bitch getting
 sauteed
 OP IS CORRECT SORRY BUT THE TWINK BARD ISNT
 GETTING ANY DRAGON ASS
 a dragon fucked a donkey in shrek, your argument is invalid
 Don't bring shrek into this
 OH YEAH?? YOU WANNA DO THIS?? FINE
 CLASS TRAITS OF A BARD
 1) Your spells inspire and invigorate your allies-Donkey's role in the film
 was to inspire and invigorate Shrek to begin his hero's quest and keep him
 on his path
 2) You channel magical power through words and music Doney never
 stopped talking or singing. That was his THING
 3) Key abilities: Charisma, Intelligence, Constitution- Do we even need to
 question this?? Charisma - he managed to convince a dragon to fuck him
 He gave both Fiona and Shrek the pep-talk they needed to come to terms
 with their feelings. Intelligence-He's COLOR BLIND and stl managed to
 figure out the flowers Fiona asked for. Constitution-dude you saw the shit
 he managed to survive in that movie
 CONCLUSION-SHREK IS A DND CAMPAIGN, DONKEY IS A BARD
 THAT SEDUCED THE DRAGON. NEVER QUESTION ME IN MY HOUSE
 AGAIN
How to Fuck your Dragon
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                offspring: the biggest lie, i think, the intemet perpetuates about D&D is that a skinny
 ittle twink of a bard just needs to roll a nat 20 to seduce a dragon
 ike a dragon...a creature with more wealth and power than any other
 creature on the planet..a creature who is easily an 11/10 when they deign
 to take humanoid formwould look at your skinny little 8 STR half-elf Bard
 whose own father doesn't even love them and go...yeah I'd like to fuck that
 Counterpoint, my good man:
 Bragonsuck
 Dragons fuck, clearly, but not just any joe blow schmoe with a big
 Charisma stat. If I'm Joseph J Dragon sitting on a small hill of gold and
 jewels I'm not gonna waste my time boning every monsterfucking tiefling
 twink with a lyre. I would have standards.
 dragons are SUPER horny
 counterpoint: even if dragons are SUPER horny they've
 got better prospects than spindly little bards!lll They could be off fucking
 cloud giants or beholders or planetars!!ll They could be having sex with
 kraken in the middle of the ocean or fire giants in the mouth of an erupting
 There is a wealth of sexual excess and opportunity available to dragons, so
 much that they do not need to be slumming it with an adventurer who
 hasn't washed his ass in a month and a half and is probably covered in
 kobold blood by the time they get to the dragon's lairl
 I don't care how many times you cast Charm Monster, the Elder Dragon
 who has probably slept with more princesses than there are princedoms is
 not going to bitel When you have bedded the most beautiful mortals on the
 Prime Material Plane on a pile of gold and jewelry you are not gonna be
 looking twice at any MOTHERFUCKEr who can't at least True
 Polymorph to make things interesting
 you're right but please shut up you are actively ruining my 10 strength
 half-elf twink bard's sexual prospects with this post
 OP is right and they should say it
 Dragon
 Bf
 Giont
 Gnol
 Gobin
 Haiting
 Koboid
 Spite
 As we can see from this most excellent chart, dragons can and will fuck
 anything. Even humans do not compare. The only species that can match
 dragons for homy-ness is, in fact, nymphs.
 Therefore your twinky-ass lil bard has as good a chance as anyone. Go
 forth and thot your way through your DM's carefully planned Big Bad
 encounter and
 fuck the dragon.
 I'm not even sure where I stand on this argument but I absolutely need to
 keep that chart for reference, so
 That chart is not proof that a dragon would fuck anything
 and youre a charlatan for pretending it does!!!
 That is a crossbreeding chart not a horny chart, and it says right on it that
 what it is tracking is the likelyhood that a union between two races would
 yield offspring. It is NOT saying that a dragon WILL fuck any of those
 creatures, just that doing so would result in a half-dragon child
 If anything this just proves siderealsandman's point the dragon could have
 any creature or being under the sun so why the fuck would it ever settle for
 a shitty PC and their+1 light leather amor. What's the bard gonna say??
 You should fuck me because you techically can?? That bitch getting
 sauteed
 OP IS CORRECT SORRY BUT THE TWINK BARD ISNT
 GETTING ANY DRAGON ASS
 a dragon fucked a donkey in shrek, your argument is invalid
 Don't bring shrek into this
 OH YEAH?? YOU WANNA DO THIS?? FINE
 CLASS TRAITS OF A BARD
 1) Your spells inspire and invigorate your allies-Donkey's role in the film
 was to inspire and invigorate Shrek to begin his hero's quest and keep him
 on his path
 2) You channel magical power through words and music Doney never
 stopped talking or singing. That was his THING
 3) Key abilities: Charisma, Intelligence, Constitution- Do we even need to
 question this?? Charisma - he managed to convince a dragon to fuck him
 He gave both Fiona and Shrek the pep-talk they needed to come to terms
 with their feelings. Intelligence-He's COLOR BLIND and stl managed to
 figure out the flowers Fiona asked for. Constitution-dude you saw the shit
 he managed to survive in that movie
 CONCLUSION-SHREK IS A DND CAMPAIGN, DONKEY IS A BARD
 THAT SEDUCED THE DRAGON. NEVER QUESTION ME IN MY HOUSE
 AGAIN
How to Fuck your Dragon
                
            

            
            
How to Fuck your Dragon