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Fucking, Internet, and Lol: tash @yeahstyles * Follow my uber driver just threatened to drive the car off a cliff help me Uber Support e @Uber Support Follow UBER @yeahstyles That is absolutely not okay. Please DM us your email address associated to your Uber account so we can follow up. RETWEETS LIKES 2,780 1,945 2:14 AM-20 Mar 2016 twlboaj: verticalfrontalsomething: yourpaperpal: kirsty-not-kristy: amoxli: ok so I don’t usu reblog this stuff here but last year I had a horrible experience with an Airbnb host who threatened to bust my kneecaps, stalk me and murder me right? And not only did I GO TO THE POLICE before cancelling the reservation, but I also provided copies of that documentation to Airbnb customer service (I should mention after hunting down that number in the depths of the stupid internet and being on hold for an hour). Did they give me a refund for the months I’d paid in advance? No - they accused me of lying! A few weeks later in a fit of desperation, a coworker suggested I tweet to Airbnb. Ok. I have maybe 30 followers on Twitter, and didn’t really use it at the time, but I thought, fuck it. Nothing to lose now. I made a half assed attempt at an overly indignant tweet with plenty of capitalization, and you know what happened? Within the HOUR. It was taken down. I was DMed by a CSR. And I was given a FULL. REFUND. $1500 like THAT. I don’t know what kind of dystopic fucking reality we live in where police reports mean nothing and the PR value from a half assed tweet to 30 followers outweighs the safety of my kneecaps, but. Social media… Lesson learned, I guess. Rebooting this addition because holy shit??? Corporations care way more about their brand than your safety. Exploit that. I had to send an angry tweet at my power company. Within twenty minutes, I was getting a phone call, and my problem was fixed by the time I left the massage appointment I had. Okay so this is important and all but original post is a joke that’s literally a picture of Harry Styles lol
Fucking, Internet, and Lol: tash
 @yeahstyles
 *
 Follow
 my uber driver just threatened to drive the car
 off a cliff help me

 Uber Support e
 @Uber Support
 Follow
 UBER
 @yeahstyles That is absolutely not okay. Please
 DM us your email address associated to your
 Uber account so we can follow up.
 RETWEETS LIKES
 2,780 1,945
 2:14 AM-20 Mar 2016
twlboaj:

verticalfrontalsomething:

yourpaperpal:

kirsty-not-kristy:

amoxli:


ok so I don’t usu reblog this stuff here but last year I had a horrible experience with an Airbnb host who threatened to bust my kneecaps, stalk me and murder me right? And not only did I GO TO THE POLICE before cancelling the reservation, but I also provided copies of that documentation to Airbnb customer service (I should mention after hunting down that number in the depths of the stupid internet and being on hold for an hour). Did they give me a refund for the months I’d paid in advance? No - they accused me of lying! 
A few weeks later in a fit of desperation, a coworker suggested I tweet to Airbnb. Ok. I have maybe 30 followers on Twitter, and didn’t really use it at the time, but I thought, fuck it. Nothing to lose now. I made a half assed attempt at an overly indignant tweet with plenty of capitalization, and you know what happened? 
Within the HOUR. It was taken down. I was DMed by a CSR. And I was given a FULL. REFUND. 
$1500 like THAT. 
I don’t know what kind of dystopic fucking reality we live in where police reports mean nothing and the PR value from a half assed tweet to 30 followers outweighs the safety of my kneecaps, but. Social media… Lesson learned, I guess.


Rebooting this addition because holy shit???

Corporations care way more about their brand than your safety. Exploit that.


I had to send an angry tweet at my power company. Within twenty minutes, I was getting a phone call, and my problem was fixed by the time I left the massage appointment I had. 

Okay so this is important and all but original post is a joke that’s literally a picture of Harry Styles lol

twlboaj: verticalfrontalsomething: yourpaperpal: kirsty-not-kristy: amoxli: ok so I don’t usu reblog this stuff here but last year I h...

Children, Christmas, and Cute: BBQ not n ORGY 61 Online now 7 miles away BBQ not n ORGY 61 Online now 1 7 miles away 5th annual 4th of July BBQ June 30th from1 until ? Why do 90% of u think this is an orgy? t's not t's open to all Is it because I'm on this app? I try to invite all types of people men, women, gay, bi, str8, trans doesn't matter to me. Height Weight Ethnicity Body Type 6'0" 240 lbs White Stocky Gender Man BBQ not n ORGY 7 miles away Sun, Jun 17 Hey 2:47 PM Today I'm having my annual BBQ June 30th from 1pm until? slow cook pig, chicken wings, hamburgers, fish and vegetarian meals. No cost just bring your own booze. Sodas, tea, water is provided. Please feel free to bring ur wife, partner or just a date. This party is open to men, women, families. Gay, str8, bi, and the unknown. 3:48 PM Say something i-care-to-live: culdeefell: lumbaghini: consultingdoctorwholock: loki-against-onision: libertarirynn: keyhollow: klubbhead: gaypussyretard: panzerkampfwagentigerrausfb: libertybill: cecaeliawitch: radical-f: girlsmoonsandstars: kittyit: darren-fucking-chriss: verysiriusly: legendarylangst: mnemophile: gonefashion: psyducked: heterophobiac: This is the most bizarre yet pure thing I’ve ever encountered on grindr Are you going? these guys went and said it was wholesome and fun! and look what he said https://www.buzzfeed.com/juliareinstein/grindr-bbq-not-orgy?utm_term=.ur27oKlpv#.yfXpzGdkZ update: he had a thanksgiving dinner and is having a christmas dinner in case y’all missed out on the bbq!! lgb-bq :’) The guy is a registered sex offender. Kidnapping of a minor and sexual assault. http://sexoffender.ncsbi.gov/details.aspx?SRN=011019S7 a serial child rapist trying to get “families” to attend his bbq. jesus christ god damn it it was literally shady from the fact that he posted it to Grindr like of course he was trying to reach a specific audience no wonder his family doesn’t talk to him Holy fuck i used to really like this post, thought it was cute. shame. Written and directed by M. Night Shyamalan Well this took an unpleasant turn since the last time I saw it No worries @loki-against-onision , I got one Ok, so, I researched this. I read his court files. What this guy did was he let two young couples who wanted to have sex away from their parents’ eyes into his house. Here’s a “statement of the facts” from an appeal after he was convicted: “Fourteen-year-old Stephanie was dating 18 year-old Timothy Cutshall; fifteen-year-old Rachelle was dating 23 year-old Chris Hall.  On the night in question, Hall and Cutshall asked the defendant to let them use his house for a liaison with the girls. The girls lied to their parents about where they were going, went to the defendant’s house, and had sex with Cutshall and Hall; the defendant never had sex with either girl. “The evidence was in conflict as to whether the defendant knew that the girls were underage.  There was no evidence that he knew they were younger enough than the men to render their otherwise consensual intercourse statutory rape.  Finally, there was no evidence that he knew that the girls did not have their parents’ permission to go to his house. Nonetheless, the defendant was convicted of aiding and abetting statutory rape, second degree kidnapping, and taking indecent liberties with children.” The person who shared his sex offender registry completely made up the “sexual assault” charge, and “kidnapping” didn’t sit right with me, so I looked into it. What actually happened was complicated. What it looks like to me is this dude, possibly under the influence of the alcohol he said ruined his life, made a stupid decision to trust these kids and had some creative prosecutors throw the book at him in every way they could think of. Wow that’s way worse. BBQ man is un-canceled. Let’s try and give him some happiness, he’s had shit luck. can we acknowledge how important CONTEXT is when we are “exposing” peoples lives, past, and especially convictions? thanks.
Children, Christmas, and Cute: BBQ not n ORGY 61
 Online now
 7 miles away

 BBQ not n ORGY 61
 Online now
 1 7 miles away
 5th annual 4th of July BBQ June 30th from1
 until ? Why do 90% of u think this is an orgy?
 t's not t's open to all Is it because I'm on this
 app? I try to invite all types of people men,
 women, gay, bi, str8, trans doesn't matter to
 me.
 Height
 Weight
 Ethnicity
 Body Type
 6'0"
 240 lbs
 White
 Stocky
 Gender
 Man

 BBQ not n ORGY
 7 miles away
 Sun, Jun 17
 Hey
 2:47 PM
 Today
 I'm having my annual BBQ June 30th
 from 1pm until? slow cook pig,
 chicken wings, hamburgers, fish and
 vegetarian meals. No cost just bring
 your own booze. Sodas, tea, water is
 provided. Please feel free to bring ur
 wife, partner or just a date. This
 party is open to men, women,
 families. Gay, str8, bi, and the
 unknown.
 3:48 PM
 Say something
i-care-to-live:
culdeefell:

lumbaghini:


consultingdoctorwholock:


loki-against-onision:


libertarirynn:


keyhollow:


klubbhead:

gaypussyretard:

panzerkampfwagentigerrausfb:

libertybill:

cecaeliawitch:


radical-f:

girlsmoonsandstars:


kittyit:


darren-fucking-chriss:

verysiriusly:


legendarylangst:


mnemophile:

gonefashion:

psyducked:

heterophobiac:
This is the most bizarre yet pure thing I’ve ever encountered on grindr

Are you going?

these guys went and said it was wholesome and fun!
and look what he said
https://www.buzzfeed.com/juliareinstein/grindr-bbq-not-orgy?utm_term=.ur27oKlpv#.yfXpzGdkZ

update:
he had a thanksgiving dinner and is having a christmas dinner in case y’all missed out on the bbq!!


lgb-bq :’)


The guy is a registered sex offender. Kidnapping of a minor and sexual assault.


http://sexoffender.ncsbi.gov/details.aspx?SRN=011019S7

a serial child rapist trying to get “families” to attend his bbq. jesus christ


god damn it 


it was literally shady from the fact that he posted it to Grindr like of course he was trying to reach a specific audience 


no wonder his family doesn’t talk to him


Holy fuck 

i used to really like this post, thought it was cute. shame.




Written and directed by M. Night Shyamalan




Well this took an unpleasant turn since the last time I saw it




No worries @loki-against-onision , I got one


Ok, so, I researched this. I read his court files.
What this guy did was he let two young couples who wanted to have sex away from their parents’ eyes into his house. Here’s a “statement of the facts” from an appeal after he was convicted:
“Fourteen-year-old Stephanie was dating 18 year-old Timothy Cutshall; fifteen-year-old Rachelle was dating 23 year-old Chris Hall.  On the night in question, Hall and Cutshall asked the defendant to let them use his house for a liaison with the girls. The girls lied to their parents about where they were going, went to the defendant’s house, and had sex with Cutshall and Hall; the defendant never had sex with either girl.
“The evidence was in conflict as to whether the defendant knew that the girls were underage.  There was no evidence that he knew they were younger enough than the men to render their otherwise consensual intercourse statutory rape.  Finally, there was no evidence that he knew that the girls did not have their parents’ permission to go to his house. Nonetheless, the defendant was convicted of aiding and abetting statutory rape, second degree kidnapping, and taking indecent liberties with children.”
The person who shared his sex offender registry completely made up the “sexual assault” charge, and “kidnapping” didn’t sit right with me, so I looked into it. What actually happened was complicated. What it looks like to me is this dude, possibly under the influence of the alcohol he said ruined his life, made a stupid decision to trust these kids and had some creative prosecutors throw the book at him in every way they could think of.


Wow that’s way worse.
BBQ man is un-canceled. Let’s try and give him some happiness, he’s had shit luck. 


can we acknowledge how important CONTEXT is when we are “exposing” peoples lives, past, and especially convictions? thanks.

i-care-to-live: culdeefell: lumbaghini: consultingdoctorwholock: loki-against-onision: libertarirynn: keyhollow: klubbhead: gayp...

Baby, It's Cold Outside, Bad, and Birthday: emilysidhe Baby It's Cold Outside discourse is the same as Macbeth discourse dont-spoop-yourself Explain? emilysidhe OK, so one of the big debates in Macbeth involves the scene in which Lady Macbeth talks Macbeth into killing King Duncan. People debate strenuously over whether it's a scene of Lady M pressuring her reluctant husband into it, or whether it's a scene of her sensing, due to their emotional intimacy, that this murder is something her husband secretly wants and has partially internally decided to do, and is arguing him into it in order to help him give himself permission to do it, in the same way that people see their loved ones wavering over the dessert menu and jump in with things like, "Go on, get the cheesecake, it's your birthday!" Readers and scholars disagree strenuously about this - we even studied an incident in college in which two 18th century illustrators attended the same performance and happened to draw the scene the day after, producing two images that advanced opposite interpretations even though they'd seen the exact same actors do the exact same performance. It's a big deal In the same way, the Baby, It's Cold Outside discourse is about whether this is a song about sexual harassment, or whether it's a woman singing about how she wishes she could spend the night with the guy she just had an excellent date with if only the neighbors wouldn't talk, and him responding, "Stay, baby, it's cold out! No one could expect you to go home in this!" ms-demeanor I really don't know (baby stab his side) King Duncan's a bro (baby cut through his hide) I like him a lot (That decrepit old sot?) This plan ain't so great (But what a king you'd make!) The guards might worry (Darling, do it in a hurry!) His sons will rush the door (So knock them on the floor.) I'm not such a knave (Bash his head with a stave) But l'd be a good king (Now you're starting to think) The dukes might all talk (But their chatter means naught) Say, love, what do you mean (You'd make such a king) I simply must go (baby cut through his hide) There's a war on you know (baby cut through his hide) But what of his wife? (And what of his life?) It feels like bad luck (But that don't mean much) l've got a bad premonition (And l've got a mission) But that's just superstition (My love, you're a vision) The witches said l'd rule (If they lied they were cruel) So babv let's stab Stab his siiiide! I figure someone mightve posted this before, but its still appropriate for Christmas.
Baby, It's Cold Outside, Bad, and Birthday: emilysidhe
 Baby It's Cold Outside discourse is the same as Macbeth discourse
 dont-spoop-yourself
 Explain?
 emilysidhe
 OK, so one of the big debates in Macbeth involves the scene in
 which Lady Macbeth talks Macbeth into killing King Duncan. People
 debate strenuously over whether it's a scene of Lady M pressuring
 her reluctant husband into it, or whether it's a scene of her sensing,
 due to their emotional intimacy, that this murder is something her
 husband secretly wants and has partially internally decided to do,
 and is arguing him into it in order to help him give himself permission
 to do it, in the same way that people see their loved ones wavering
 over the dessert menu and jump in with things like, "Go on, get the
 cheesecake, it's your birthday!" Readers and scholars disagree
 strenuously about this - we even studied an incident in college in
 which two 18th century illustrators attended the same performance
 and happened to draw the scene the day after, producing two images
 that advanced opposite interpretations even though they'd seen the
 exact same actors do the exact same performance. It's a big deal
 In the same way, the Baby, It's Cold Outside discourse is about
 whether this is a song about sexual harassment, or whether it's a
 woman singing about how she wishes she could spend the night with
 the guy she just had an excellent date with if only the neighbors
 wouldn't talk, and him responding, "Stay, baby, it's cold out! No one
 could expect you to go home in this!"
 ms-demeanor
 I really don't know (baby stab his side)
 King Duncan's a bro (baby cut through his hide)
 I like him a lot (That decrepit old sot?)
 This plan ain't so great (But what a king you'd make!)
 The guards might worry (Darling, do it in a hurry!)
 His sons will rush the door (So knock them on the floor.)
 I'm not such a knave (Bash his head with a stave)
 But l'd be a good king (Now you're starting to think)
 The dukes might all talk (But their chatter means naught)
 Say, love, what do you mean (You'd make such a king)
 I simply must go (baby cut through his hide)
 There's a war on you know (baby cut through his hide)
 But what of his wife? (And what of his life?)
 It feels like bad luck (But that don't mean much)
 l've got a bad premonition (And l've got a mission)
 But that's just superstition (My love, you're a vision)
 The witches said l'd rule (If they lied they were cruel)
 So babv let's stab
 Stab his siiiide!
I figure someone mightve posted this before, but its still appropriate for Christmas.

I figure someone mightve posted this before, but its still appropriate for Christmas.

Anaconda, Bad, and Energy: tRI 100% 3:18 AM Vanessa Ok so want you to imagine we've got a 1972 Ford F-100 sitting in a lot, the rear truck bed of it filled with several wheels of cheddar cheese Now, just behind it, you'll see a reliable 2007 GMC Topkick C4500, this one filled with delicious gouda, still wrapped in wax, Behind that vehicie lies a 1985 Toyota Pickup SR5, freshly painted and with a load of fresh Bleu cheese in the back. Behind them all, a 1995 Dodge Ram 2500, the rear bed containing several large slices of Swiss cheese gently baking in the hot sun. Look I know it's not much but it's the best cheesy pick-up line I could come up with ngo Wow that was a mouthful and arn adventure Imfao Choose your own adventure! For a low energy effort segue from the line, read part A For an overly-sexual response, read part B, Para Español, sigue al C A: haha thanks! Anyways what are you up to B: I've got another mouthful for you here if you're up for it C: Lo siento, pensé que hablaste inglés. Puedo intentar seguir flirteando en español pero mis habilidades españolas son pobres 6 min ng See it's times like this where I wish I knew spanish Btw this is amazing I'm very impressed Vanessa 54min ag0 For a low effort reply, read part A For an overly-sexual response, read part B. Para Español, sigue al C A: haha thanks, I didn't know it was possible to live down here without knowing any Spanish B: If I can get them digits I'll send you a photo of something else that'll impress C: Por favor, perdone mis intentos de humor tardio, normaimente soy mejor en este tipo de cosas 47 min、ago Omg I'm having my friend translate this Spanish me Choose your own adventure! A for standard low effort response, B for overly-sexual response, y C para Español A: Haha your friend will probably be able to tell you how bad my Spanish actually is. In fact, I've been using Google translate to help. But shh keep that on the down low... Our B: This Spanish friend of yours single? 1 always had a thing for C: Lo sentimos, pero Google translate ha detectado un error. Por favor, inténtelo de nuevo más tarde. 4 min ago 1. My friend isn't a girl 2. Why you tryna get with my friend here when you're talking to 3. That spanish part was funny why'd you send me that Imfao Vanessa 26 min ago Choose your own adventure! A for standard response, B for overly- sexual response, y C para Español. A: My apologies, B can sometimes get a little out of hand. I'm not interested in the friend. It's just that B tries hard to be overly sexual and when the only thing in your reply was that you're having a friend translate, he had to run with it. He means well and deep down B is actually a mature and reasonable C: Has enviado demasiadas solicitudes de traducción. Por favor, inténtelo de nuevo más tarde min ag Boy you're ridiculous I can't keep up with 3 GIF a message tindershwinder: Triple threat
Anaconda, Bad, and Energy: tRI
 100%
 3:18 AM
 Vanessa
 Ok so want you to imagine we've
 got a 1972 Ford F-100 sitting in a
 lot, the rear truck bed of it filled with
 several wheels of cheddar cheese
 Now, just behind it, you'll see a
 reliable 2007 GMC Topkick C4500,
 this one filled with delicious gouda,
 still wrapped in wax, Behind that
 vehicie lies a 1985 Toyota Pickup
 SR5, freshly painted and with a load
 of fresh Bleu cheese in the back.
 Behind them all, a 1995 Dodge
 Ram 2500, the rear bed containing
 several large slices of Swiss cheese
 gently baking in the hot sun.
 Look I know it's not much but it's
 the best cheesy pick-up line I could
 come up with
 ngo
 Wow that was a
 mouthful and arn
 adventure Imfao
 Choose your own adventure!
 For a low energy effort segue from
 the line, read part A
 For an overly-sexual response, read
 part B,
 Para Español, sigue al C
 A: haha thanks! Anyways what are
 you up to
 B: I've got another mouthful for you
 here if you're up for it
 C: Lo siento, pensé que hablaste
 inglés. Puedo intentar seguir
 flirteando en español pero mis
 habilidades españolas son pobres
 6 min ng
 See it's times like this
 where I wish I knew
 spanish
 Btw this is amazing
 I'm very impressed
 Vanessa 54min ag0
 For a low effort reply, read part A
 For an overly-sexual response, read
 part B.
 Para Español, sigue al C
 A: haha thanks, I didn't know it was
 possible to live down here without
 knowing any Spanish
 B: If I can get them digits I'll send
 you a photo of something else that'll
 impress
 C: Por favor, perdone mis intentos
 de humor tardio, normaimente soy
 mejor en este tipo de cosas
 47 min、ago
 Omg
 I'm having my friend
 translate this Spanish
 me
 Choose your own adventure! A for
 standard low effort response, B for
 overly-sexual response, y C para
 Español
 A: Haha your friend will probably be
 able to tell you how bad my Spanish
 actually is. In fact, I've been using
 Google translate to help. But shh
 keep that on the down low... Our
 B: This Spanish friend of yours
 single? 1 always had a thing for
 C: Lo sentimos, pero Google
 translate ha detectado un error. Por
 favor, inténtelo de nuevo más tarde.
 4 min ago
 1. My friend isn't a girl
 2. Why you tryna get
 with my friend here
 when you're talking to
 3. That spanish part
 was funny why'd you
 send me that Imfao
 Vanessa 26 min ago
 Choose your own adventure! A for
 standard response, B for overly-
 sexual response, y C para Español.
 A: My apologies, B can sometimes
 get a little out of hand. I'm not
 interested in the friend. It's just that
 B tries hard to be overly sexual and
 when the only thing in your reply
 was that you're having a friend
 translate, he had to run with it. He
 means well and deep down B is
 actually a mature and reasonable
 C: Has enviado demasiadas
 solicitudes de traducción. Por favor,
 inténtelo de nuevo más tarde
 min ag
 Boy you're ridiculous
 I can't keep up with 3
 GIF
 a message
tindershwinder:

Triple threat

tindershwinder: Triple threat

Anaconda, Bad, and Energy: tRI 100% 3:18 AM Vanessa Ok so want you to imagine we've got a 1972 Ford F-100 sitting in a lot, the rear truck bed of it filled with several wheels of cheddar cheese Now, just behind it, you'll see a reliable 2007 GMC Topkick C4500, this one filled with delicious gouda, still wrapped in wax, Behind that vehicie lies a 1985 Toyota Pickup SR5, freshly painted and with a load of fresh Bleu cheese in the back. Behind them all, a 1995 Dodge Ram 2500, the rear bed containing several large slices of Swiss cheese gently baking in the hot sun. Look I know it's not much but it's the best cheesy pick-up line I could come up with ngo Wow that was a mouthful and arn adventure Imfao Choose your own adventure! For a low energy effort segue from the line, read part A For an overly-sexual response, read part B, Para Español, sigue al C A: haha thanks! Anyways what are you up to B: I've got another mouthful for you here if you're up for it C: Lo siento, pensé que hablaste inglés. Puedo intentar seguir flirteando en español pero mis habilidades españolas son pobres 6 min ng See it's times like this where I wish I knew spanish Btw this is amazing I'm very impressed Vanessa 54min ag0 For a low effort reply, read part A For an overly-sexual response, read part B. Para Español, sigue al C A: haha thanks, I didn't know it was possible to live down here without knowing any Spanish B: If I can get them digits I'll send you a photo of something else that'll impress C: Por favor, perdone mis intentos de humor tardio, normaimente soy mejor en este tipo de cosas 47 min、ago Omg I'm having my friend translate this Spanish me Choose your own adventure! A for standard low effort response, B for overly-sexual response, y C para Español A: Haha your friend will probably be able to tell you how bad my Spanish actually is. In fact, I've been using Google translate to help. But shh keep that on the down low... Our B: This Spanish friend of yours single? 1 always had a thing for C: Lo sentimos, pero Google translate ha detectado un error. Por favor, inténtelo de nuevo más tarde. 4 min ago 1. My friend isn't a girl 2. Why you tryna get with my friend here when you're talking to 3. That spanish part was funny why'd you send me that Imfao Vanessa 26 min ago Choose your own adventure! A for standard response, B for overly- sexual response, y C para Español. A: My apologies, B can sometimes get a little out of hand. I'm not interested in the friend. It's just that B tries hard to be overly sexual and when the only thing in your reply was that you're having a friend translate, he had to run with it. He means well and deep down B is actually a mature and reasonable C: Has enviado demasiadas solicitudes de traducción. Por favor, inténtelo de nuevo más tarde min ag Boy you're ridiculous I can't keep up with 3 GIF a message Triple threat
Anaconda, Bad, and Energy: tRI
 100%
 3:18 AM
 Vanessa
 Ok so want you to imagine we've
 got a 1972 Ford F-100 sitting in a
 lot, the rear truck bed of it filled with
 several wheels of cheddar cheese
 Now, just behind it, you'll see a
 reliable 2007 GMC Topkick C4500,
 this one filled with delicious gouda,
 still wrapped in wax, Behind that
 vehicie lies a 1985 Toyota Pickup
 SR5, freshly painted and with a load
 of fresh Bleu cheese in the back.
 Behind them all, a 1995 Dodge
 Ram 2500, the rear bed containing
 several large slices of Swiss cheese
 gently baking in the hot sun.
 Look I know it's not much but it's
 the best cheesy pick-up line I could
 come up with
 ngo
 Wow that was a
 mouthful and arn
 adventure Imfao
 Choose your own adventure!
 For a low energy effort segue from
 the line, read part A
 For an overly-sexual response, read
 part B,
 Para Español, sigue al C
 A: haha thanks! Anyways what are
 you up to
 B: I've got another mouthful for you
 here if you're up for it
 C: Lo siento, pensé que hablaste
 inglés. Puedo intentar seguir
 flirteando en español pero mis
 habilidades españolas son pobres
 6 min ng
 See it's times like this
 where I wish I knew
 spanish
 Btw this is amazing
 I'm very impressed
 Vanessa 54min ag0
 For a low effort reply, read part A
 For an overly-sexual response, read
 part B.
 Para Español, sigue al C
 A: haha thanks, I didn't know it was
 possible to live down here without
 knowing any Spanish
 B: If I can get them digits I'll send
 you a photo of something else that'll
 impress
 C: Por favor, perdone mis intentos
 de humor tardio, normaimente soy
 mejor en este tipo de cosas
 47 min、ago
 Omg
 I'm having my friend
 translate this Spanish
 me
 Choose your own adventure! A for
 standard low effort response, B for
 overly-sexual response, y C para
 Español
 A: Haha your friend will probably be
 able to tell you how bad my Spanish
 actually is. In fact, I've been using
 Google translate to help. But shh
 keep that on the down low... Our
 B: This Spanish friend of yours
 single? 1 always had a thing for
 C: Lo sentimos, pero Google
 translate ha detectado un error. Por
 favor, inténtelo de nuevo más tarde.
 4 min ago
 1. My friend isn't a girl
 2. Why you tryna get
 with my friend here
 when you're talking to
 3. That spanish part
 was funny why'd you
 send me that Imfao
 Vanessa 26 min ago
 Choose your own adventure! A for
 standard response, B for overly-
 sexual response, y C para Español.
 A: My apologies, B can sometimes
 get a little out of hand. I'm not
 interested in the friend. It's just that
 B tries hard to be overly sexual and
 when the only thing in your reply
 was that you're having a friend
 translate, he had to run with it. He
 means well and deep down B is
 actually a mature and reasonable
 C: Has enviado demasiadas
 solicitudes de traducción. Por favor,
 inténtelo de nuevo más tarde
 min ag
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Triple threat

Triple threat

Dad, Flexing, and Internet: So I've been ruining my kids lives by saying "weird flex but ok to everything and when I do it they scream no and tell ma they're running away and I made this lovely photo lemme get it Weird flex but ok Ok so I need some help coming up with the absolute worst "to flex on" live memes ever to pretend Im an even more really lame parent. they don't have to make sense but they need to be absolutely awful yet believable enough that it isn't obvious Im intentionaly trying to be more lame Here's the ones I came up with so far "You ever just eat a well balanced diet and exercise daily to flex on heart disease? You ever just bol chilies to flex on your eyes? You ever just be cool to flex on your kids? "You ever just use sanitzer to flex on 99.9% of all bacteria and viruses?" You ever just turn all the lights and up the heater to flex on Dad? Catholic edition: You ever just ike recelve the sacraments frequently to flex on Satan? You ever just lke love your Mom to flex on Protestants? So l executed the first one in the kitchen then I dabbed and my son didn't say anything he just set down his pomegranate and walked out the front door with no shoes on and now he's walking down the street Ok so I walked down the block and I found him Update "'11 Boost令 9:36 PM That photo of u made it around the internet and you're famous Do you have a message from your fans. They want to hear from you Delivered Sen Help Message 0 Your son is named Egg Every part of this is hilarious 18,547 notes The kind of parent I aspire to be
Dad, Flexing, and Internet: So I've been ruining my kids lives by saying "weird flex but ok to everything and
 when I do it they scream no and tell ma they're running away and I made this
 lovely photo lemme get it
 Weird flex
 but ok
 Ok so I need some help coming up with the absolute worst "to flex on" live
 memes ever to pretend Im an even more really lame parent. they don't have to
 make sense but they need to be absolutely awful yet believable enough that it
 isn't obvious Im intentionaly trying to be more lame
 Here's the ones I came up with so far
 "You ever just eat a well balanced diet and exercise daily to flex on heart
 disease?
 You ever just bol chilies to flex on your eyes?
 You ever just be cool to flex on your kids?
 "You ever just use sanitzer to flex on 99.9% of all bacteria and viruses?"
 You ever just turn all the lights and up the heater to flex on Dad?
 Catholic edition:
 You ever just ike recelve the sacraments frequently to flex on Satan?
 You ever just lke love your Mom to flex on Protestants?
 So l executed the first one in the kitchen then I dabbed and my son didn't say
 anything he just set down his pomegranate and walked out the front door with no
 shoes on and now he's walking down the street
 Ok so I walked down the block and I found him
 Update
 "'11 Boost令
 9:36 PM
 That photo of u made it around
 the internet and you're famous
 Do you have a message from
 your fans. They want to hear
 from you
 Delivered
 Sen
 Help
 Message
 0
 Your son is named Egg
 Every part of this is hilarious
 18,547 notes
The kind of parent I aspire to be

The kind of parent I aspire to be