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    Only: The one and only :’(
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                Only: The one and only :’(
                
            

            
            
The one and only :’(

            
            
        

    



        

        
        

            







    Only: The one and only :’( by viola-ted
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                Only: The one and only :’( by viola-ted
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The one and only :’( by viola-ted
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    Only: All my lotr memes, part 8 (only 5 memes in this bitch)
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                Only: All my lotr memes, part 8 (only 5 memes in this bitch)
                
            

            
            
All my lotr memes, part 8 (only 5 memes in this bitch)

            
            
        

    



        

        
        

            







    Only: ballet-royale:
midnight-spectrum-again:

thesaltofcarthage:

festivefeathers:

safifonhasstrel:

bundibird:

jehovahhthickness:

biggest-gaudiest-fish:


lipsredasroses:

mayothefirst:


madamehearthwitch:

thegrimmlovely:

riskpig:

endangeredslug:

riskpig:

teamseabreeze:

recycled-soul:

skywritingg:

iloveyournudity:

cuntsoloud-ishere:

pizzaforpresident:

This won’t make your blog look ugly. How could you not reblog this? REBLOGGING THIS COULD SAVE A LIFE!!!




This goes for assholes, too, guys. I know a couple who went tubing once, and they had to re-air their tubes, but the guy thought it would be funny to stick the tip of the air compressor up to her bikini trunks, the air ruptured something inside her and she died within thirty minutes.


WHAT?

The thing about this? It’s in every pregnancy book I’ve read.

WHAT?????


Why is it in pregnancy books but not sex ed books?

Because the men in charge only care about the health and safety of women in so far as it enables them to have babies.

https://www.healthline.com/health/air-embolism#outlook


Reblogging with a link because I thought this was a legit joke. Never heard it before. Like I knew you could kill a person by inserting air into a vein but still. 


WHAT THE FUCL I hate how I didn’t learn this in sex Ed AT ALL


This is very true lol 


Yo what the f u c k 






not the normal stuff i’d reblog but, uh, this is kinda??? heckin???? important????? 

I feel like I first saw this in The Joy of Sex, but it’s definitely a thing.



What the fuck



I’m ace but here you guys go

    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                Only: ballet-royale:
midnight-spectrum-again:

thesaltofcarthage:

festivefeathers:

safifonhasstrel:

bundibird:

jehovahhthickness:

biggest-gaudiest-fish:


lipsredasroses:

mayothefirst:


madamehearthwitch:

thegrimmlovely:

riskpig:

endangeredslug:

riskpig:

teamseabreeze:

recycled-soul:

skywritingg:

iloveyournudity:

cuntsoloud-ishere:

pizzaforpresident:

This won’t make your blog look ugly. How could you not reblog this? REBLOGGING THIS COULD SAVE A LIFE!!!




This goes for assholes, too, guys. I know a couple who went tubing once, and they had to re-air their tubes, but the guy thought it would be funny to stick the tip of the air compressor up to her bikini trunks, the air ruptured something inside her and she died within thirty minutes.


WHAT?

The thing about this? It’s in every pregnancy book I’ve read.

WHAT?????


Why is it in pregnancy books but not sex ed books?

Because the men in charge only care about the health and safety of women in so far as it enables them to have babies.

https://www.healthline.com/health/air-embolism#outlook


Reblogging with a link because I thought this was a legit joke. Never heard it before. Like I knew you could kill a person by inserting air into a vein but still. 


WHAT THE FUCL I hate how I didn’t learn this in sex Ed AT ALL


This is very true lol 


Yo what the f u c k 






not the normal stuff i’d reblog but, uh, this is kinda??? heckin???? important????? 

I feel like I first saw this in The Joy of Sex, but it’s definitely a thing.



What the fuck



I’m ace but here you guys go

                
            

            
            
ballet-royale:
midnight-spectrum-again:

thesaltofcarthage:

festivefeathers:

safifonhasstrel:

bundibird:

jehovahhthickness:

biggest-...

            
            
        

    



        

        
        

            






        

        
        

            







    Only: feniczoroark:

randomnightlord:

feniczoroark:

randomnightlord:

feniczoroark:

randomnightlord:

a-40k-author:

The Judiciar.

A Judiciar is not only a supernal swordsman, able to cut down foes with but a single blow of his brutal-looking executioner relic blade, but he has an all-new item of esoteric wargear – the tempormortis. You don’t need to be an expert in High Gothic to know that this means it’s something he can use to manipulate time and ensure the death of his quarry.  


Now this is just straight up unfair for all other players


Yep. Knowing gw they’ll use it to kill of all named xenos characters so they don’t have to make the buts for them and can free more space to making marines to wank off marines more


We’re all just waiting for Cato Shitarius to kill the Necron bossbot and then become primarisGW is so fucking DUMB. And so are those specific Space Marine famboys that are complaining that their new shit looks ridiculous. BE HAPPY THAT YOU EVEN GET ANYTHING POSTER BOY. 


The only complaint by marine fans I’ve seen that actually has merit was about the “what the fuck is going on with assault intercessors” (Given usually “assault marines” have jump packs and these ones don’t (which I suppose also makes them useless for conversions))And I would like Cato to perrish


Wait. THAT JUDICATOR IS A FUCKING ULTRAMARINE TOO. 


Of course it is


FUCK YOU GW
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                Only: feniczoroark:

randomnightlord:

feniczoroark:

randomnightlord:

feniczoroark:

randomnightlord:

a-40k-author:

The Judiciar.

A Judiciar is not only a supernal swordsman, able to cut down foes with but a single blow of his brutal-looking executioner relic blade, but he has an all-new item of esoteric wargear – the tempormortis. You don’t need to be an expert in High Gothic to know that this means it’s something he can use to manipulate time and ensure the death of his quarry.  


Now this is just straight up unfair for all other players


Yep. Knowing gw they’ll use it to kill of all named xenos characters so they don’t have to make the buts for them and can free more space to making marines to wank off marines more


We’re all just waiting for Cato Shitarius to kill the Necron bossbot and then become primarisGW is so fucking DUMB. And so are those specific Space Marine famboys that are complaining that their new shit looks ridiculous. BE HAPPY THAT YOU EVEN GET ANYTHING POSTER BOY. 


The only complaint by marine fans I’ve seen that actually has merit was about the “what the fuck is going on with assault intercessors” (Given usually “assault marines” have jump packs and these ones don’t (which I suppose also makes them useless for conversions))And I would like Cato to perrish


Wait. THAT JUDICATOR IS A FUCKING ULTRAMARINE TOO. 


Of course it is


FUCK YOU GW
                
            

            
            
feniczoroark:

randomnightlord:

feniczoroark:

randomnightlord:

feniczoroark:

randomnightlord:

a-40k-author:

The Judiciar.

A Judici...

            
            
        

    



        

        
        

            







    Only: feniczoroark:

randomnightlord:

feniczoroark:

randomnightlord:

a-40k-author:

The Judiciar.

A Judiciar is not only a supernal swordsman, able to cut down foes with but a single blow of his brutal-looking executioner relic blade, but he has an all-new item of esoteric wargear – the tempormortis. You don’t need to be an expert in High Gothic to know that this means it’s something he can use to manipulate time and ensure the death of his quarry.  


Now this is just straight up unfair for all other players


Yep. Knowing gw they’ll use it to kill of all named xenos characters so they don’t have to make the buts for them and can free more space to making marines to wank off marines more


We’re all just waiting for Cato Shitarius to kill the Necron bossbot and then become primarisGW is so fucking DUMB. And so are those specific Space Marine famboys that are complaining that their new shit looks ridiculous. BE HAPPY THAT YOU EVEN GET ANYTHING POSTER BOY. 


The only complaint by marine fans I’ve seen that actually has merit was about the “what the fuck is going on with assault intercessors” (Given usually “assault marines” have jump packs and these ones don’t (which I suppose also makes them useless for conversions))And I would like Cato to perrish


Wait. THAT JUDICATOR IS A FUCKING ULTRAMARINE TOO. 
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                Only: feniczoroark:

randomnightlord:

feniczoroark:

randomnightlord:

a-40k-author:

The Judiciar.

A Judiciar is not only a supernal swordsman, able to cut down foes with but a single blow of his brutal-looking executioner relic blade, but he has an all-new item of esoteric wargear – the tempormortis. You don’t need to be an expert in High Gothic to know that this means it’s something he can use to manipulate time and ensure the death of his quarry.  


Now this is just straight up unfair for all other players


Yep. Knowing gw they’ll use it to kill of all named xenos characters so they don’t have to make the buts for them and can free more space to making marines to wank off marines more


We’re all just waiting for Cato Shitarius to kill the Necron bossbot and then become primarisGW is so fucking DUMB. And so are those specific Space Marine famboys that are complaining that their new shit looks ridiculous. BE HAPPY THAT YOU EVEN GET ANYTHING POSTER BOY. 


The only complaint by marine fans I’ve seen that actually has merit was about the “what the fuck is going on with assault intercessors” (Given usually “assault marines” have jump packs and these ones don’t (which I suppose also makes them useless for conversions))And I would like Cato to perrish


Wait. THAT JUDICATOR IS A FUCKING ULTRAMARINE TOO. 
                
            

            
            
feniczoroark:

randomnightlord:

feniczoroark:

randomnightlord:

a-40k-author:

The Judiciar.

A Judiciar is not only a supernal swordsm...

            
            
        

    



        

        
        

            






        

        
        

            






        

        
        

            







    Only: That’s the final stage .. only the chosen ones can reach that level by jaiga99
MORE MEMES
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                Only: That’s the final stage .. only the chosen ones can reach that level by jaiga99
MORE MEMES
                
            

            
            
That’s the final stage .. only the chosen ones can reach that level by jaiga99
MORE MEMES

            
            
        

    



        

        
        

            







    Only: A man can only wish
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                Only: A man can only wish
                
            

            
            
A man can only wish

            
            
        

    



        

        
        

            







    Only: I am the only one here
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                Only: I am the only one here
                
            

            
            
I am the only one here

            
            
        

    



        

        
        

            






        

        
        

            







    Only: The one and only
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                Only: The one and only
                
            

            
            
The one and only

            
            
        

    



        

        
        

            







    Only: This is only about you if always think it’s about you. by JennyBeckman
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                Only: This is only about you if always think it’s about you. by JennyBeckman
MORE MEMES
                
            

            
            
This is only about you if always think it’s about you. by JennyBeckman
MORE MEMES

            
            
        

    



        

        
        

            







    Only: This is only about you if always think it’s about you.
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                Only: This is only about you if always think it’s about you.
                
            

            
            
This is only about you if always think it’s about you.

            
            
        

    



        

        
        

            







    Only: I love “the good place” so much it’s one of the only good netflix original’s
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                Only: I love “the good place” so much it’s one of the only good netflix original’s
                
            

            
            
I love “the good place” so much it’s one of the only good netflix original’s

            
            
        

    



        

        
        

            







    Only: I love “the good place” so much it’s one of the only good netflix original’s by Serapha_707
MORE MEMES
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                Only: I love “the good place” so much it’s one of the only good netflix original’s by Serapha_707
MORE MEMES
                
            

            
            
I love “the good place” so much it’s one of the only good netflix original’s by Serapha_707
MORE MEMES

            
            
        

    



        

        
        

            







    Only: One reason and one reason only
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                Only: One reason and one reason only
                
            

            
            
One reason and one reason only

            
            
        

    



        

        
        

            







    Only: omg-humor:

The only thing he’s king of
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                Only: omg-humor:

The only thing he’s king of
                
            

            
            
omg-humor:

The only thing he’s king of

            
            
        

    



        

        
        

            







    Only: fuukonomiko:

theroomyouneverenter:

veliko-rosseniya:
75 year old Russian grandpa dancing an old traditional navy/sailors dance.
MAN GOES HAM MUST SEE

I can only dream of having this kind of rhythm
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                Only: fuukonomiko:

theroomyouneverenter:

veliko-rosseniya:
75 year old Russian grandpa dancing an old traditional navy/sailors dance.
MAN GOES HAM MUST SEE

I can only dream of having this kind of rhythm
                
                

                
            

            
            
fuukonomiko:

theroomyouneverenter:

veliko-rosseniya:
75 year old Russian grandpa dancing an old traditional navy/sailors dance.
MAN GOE...

            
            
        

    



        

        
        

            






        

        
        

            







    Only: Am I the only one?
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                Only: Am I the only one?
                
            

            
            
Am I the only one?

            
            
        

    



        

        
        

            







    Only: crispy-ghee:

3 of Cousin’s other children: Little Knife, Little Flame, and Naniandi. (aka, the last of the group of Cousin’s kids that I’ll draw because he has like 50 or something and I’m not designing all of them, I’m sorry. Feel free to pretend that your OC is Cousin’s kid, it’ll probably work out.)Little Knife:  Cousin’s youngest son and the last he had with Fury before she died. A cocky little shit sometimes, but with good reason. While smaller than all his sibs, his agility and stealth made him an asset to hunting parties. 

His relationship w/ Jagged-Tooth sucks. He and Kal'thnde are very close, tho, as Cousin was already aging and too busy chaperoning youngbloods to pay him as much attention as he should’ve, Kal and his sisters more or less raised him and got between him and Jagged-Tooth often.



Lauded for his nimbleness and his lightning speed while maintaining near-silence, he has become an asset in his hunting party. His abilities also make him sought after for off-world reconnaissance, where he travels to planets to review and evaluate their suitability for hunting.Little Knife is one of the 20 or so Yautja who join Cousin to form the Yautja Faction, against the orders of the Elder Council. 12 of his brothers also form the team, including Jagged-Tooth and Kal’thnde. Little Flame: 

Celebrated Huntress, Several times Champion of inter-tribal games and so coveted and beloved beyond her own clan. Aggressive, abrasive, but loyal, like her father in his youth. Little Flame is close to Kal and Little Knife, and was one of Cousin’s children that fought against Jagged-Tooth’s bad attitude–ballsy, as he’s biotic. She and the eldest brother never really learned to get along, but there is begrudging respect for each others achievements.

Little Flame basically saved her father’s life when at one point she heard whispers that some elders were speaking of sending Enforcers or some other group of Hunters to go after Cousin and his Renegades. She sent him warnings, and killed most of the would-be trackers herself.Naniandi: 

Cousin’s eldest Daughter. Sometimes called Furious Patience, a play on her mother’s name (Patient Fury), since she’s so much like her. One of the tribe matriarchs, and often invited alongside the tribe’s elders to speak diplomacy with other clans when needed. Naniandi is the closest Jagged-Tooth is to any of his family, maybe having to do w/ how much like his mother she is, even though she is a century or so younger than him. She’s basically all around respected by everyone in Cousin’s family, as well as their overall clan

It’s Naniandi’s influence and hard work that made it possible for Cousin and the remainder of the Yautja faction to return to Homeworld after they’d disgraced themselves to go fight alongside Shepard. She ultimately convinced the elders to reinstate honor and title to her father.

Yautja joke (but only a little) about wishing to birth armies. Compared to others his age, Cousin only has a moderate amount of offspring, but those that survived into his old age came out fierce, capable, and loyal to their family. It’s thanks to them he could be with Shepard.


    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                Only: crispy-ghee:

3 of Cousin’s other children: Little Knife, Little Flame, and Naniandi. (aka, the last of the group of Cousin’s kids that I’ll draw because he has like 50 or something and I’m not designing all of them, I’m sorry. Feel free to pretend that your OC is Cousin’s kid, it’ll probably work out.)Little Knife:  Cousin’s youngest son and the last he had with Fury before she died. A cocky little shit sometimes, but with good reason. While smaller than all his sibs, his agility and stealth made him an asset to hunting parties. 

His relationship w/ Jagged-Tooth sucks. He and Kal'thnde are very close, tho, as Cousin was already aging and too busy chaperoning youngbloods to pay him as much attention as he should’ve, Kal and his sisters more or less raised him and got between him and Jagged-Tooth often.



Lauded for his nimbleness and his lightning speed while maintaining near-silence, he has become an asset in his hunting party. His abilities also make him sought after for off-world reconnaissance, where he travels to planets to review and evaluate their suitability for hunting.Little Knife is one of the 20 or so Yautja who join Cousin to form the Yautja Faction, against the orders of the Elder Council. 12 of his brothers also form the team, including Jagged-Tooth and Kal’thnde. Little Flame: 

Celebrated Huntress, Several times Champion of inter-tribal games and so coveted and beloved beyond her own clan. Aggressive, abrasive, but loyal, like her father in his youth. Little Flame is close to Kal and Little Knife, and was one of Cousin’s children that fought against Jagged-Tooth’s bad attitude–ballsy, as he’s biotic. She and the eldest brother never really learned to get along, but there is begrudging respect for each others achievements.

Little Flame basically saved her father’s life when at one point she heard whispers that some elders were speaking of sending Enforcers or some other group of Hunters to go after Cousin and his Renegades. She sent him warnings, and killed most of the would-be trackers herself.Naniandi: 

Cousin’s eldest Daughter. Sometimes called Furious Patience, a play on her mother’s name (Patient Fury), since she’s so much like her. One of the tribe matriarchs, and often invited alongside the tribe’s elders to speak diplomacy with other clans when needed. Naniandi is the closest Jagged-Tooth is to any of his family, maybe having to do w/ how much like his mother she is, even though she is a century or so younger than him. She’s basically all around respected by everyone in Cousin’s family, as well as their overall clan

It’s Naniandi’s influence and hard work that made it possible for Cousin and the remainder of the Yautja faction to return to Homeworld after they’d disgraced themselves to go fight alongside Shepard. She ultimately convinced the elders to reinstate honor and title to her father.

Yautja joke (but only a little) about wishing to birth armies. Compared to others his age, Cousin only has a moderate amount of offspring, but those that survived into his old age came out fierce, capable, and loyal to their family. It’s thanks to them he could be with Shepard.


                
            

            
            
crispy-ghee:

3 of Cousin’s other children: Little Knife, Little Flame, and Naniandi. (aka, the last of the group of Cousin’s kids that I...

            
            
        

    



        

        
        

            







    Only: The only way I get compliments tbh by litgrizzly
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                Only: The only way I get compliments tbh by litgrizzly
MORE MEMES
                
            

            
            
The only way I get compliments tbh by litgrizzly
MORE MEMES

            
            
        

    



        

        
        

            






        

        
        

            







    Only: Basically the only reason I have this app now. Me want Tamales.
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                Only: Basically the only reason I have this app now. Me want Tamales.
                
            

            
            
Basically the only reason I have this app now. Me want Tamales.

            
            
        

    



        

        
        

            







    Only: And it’s only going to get worse by chaosgiantmemes
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                Only: And it’s only going to get worse by chaosgiantmemes
MORE MEMES
                
            

            
            
And it’s only going to get worse by chaosgiantmemes
MORE MEMES

            
            
        

    



        

        
        

            







    Only: And it’s only going to get worse
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                Only: And it’s only going to get worse
                
            

            
            
And it’s only going to get worse

            
            
        

    



        

        
        

            







    Only: Only If They Had Oil Though (not mine link in the comments)
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                Only: Only If They Had Oil Though (not mine link in the comments)
                
            

            
            
Only If They Had Oil Though (not mine link in the comments)

            
            
        

    



        

        
        

            







    Only: The one and only reason I made a tinder, you’re welcome
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                Only: The one and only reason I made a tinder, you’re welcome
                
            

            
            
The one and only reason I made a tinder, you’re welcome

            
            
        

    



        

        
        

            







    Only: 7clubs:

only respect for MY queen. let’s go lesbians!!!

[ leave a tip / other sites i’m at]


    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                Only: 7clubs:

only respect for MY queen. let’s go lesbians!!!

[ leave a tip / other sites i’m at]


                
            

            
            
7clubs:

only respect for MY queen. let’s go lesbians!!!

[ leave a tip / other sites i’m at]



            
            
        

    



        

        
        

            







    Only: 

Get 50% OFF almost any adult item & FREE US/CAN Shipping by using offer code POSITIVE at AdamAndEve.com.  18+ Only.


    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                Only: 

Get 50% OFF almost any adult item & FREE US/CAN Shipping by using offer code POSITIVE at AdamAndEve.com.  18+ Only.


                
            

            
            


Get 50% OFF almost any adult item & FREE US/CAN Shipping by using offer code POSITIVE at AdamAndEve.com.  18+ Only.



            
            
        

    



        

        
        

            







    Only: The only thing flatter than the earth
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                Only: The only thing flatter than the earth
                
            

            
            
The only thing flatter than the earth

            
            
        

    



        

        
        

            







    Only: The only thing flatter than the earth
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                Only: The only thing flatter than the earth
                
            

            
            
The only thing flatter than the earth

            
            
        

    



        

        
        

            






        

        
        

            







    Only: inquisitorhotpants:

burntcopper:

futureevilscientist:

optimysticals:

uovoc:

konec0:

sleepyferret:

shitfacedanon:

dat-soldier:

sonnetscrewdriver:

dat-soldier:

did-you-kno:

Source


back the fuck up


There’s another story that I like about a Chinese general who had to defend a city with only a handful of soldiers from a huge enemy horde that was in all likelihood going to steamroll the place flat within hours of showing up.
So when said horde did arrive, they saw the general sitting outside the city’s open gates, drinking tea. The horde sent a couple of emissaries over to see what was what, and the general greeted them cheerfully and invited them all to come and take tea with him.
The horde decided that this was a scenario that had “MASSIVE FUCKING TRAP” written all over it in beautiful calligraphy and promptly fucked off.
Whoever that general was, he was clearly the Ancient Chinese equivalent of Sam Vimes.


did he just invite us over for tea nah man i’m out


This just keeps getting better

I fucking love history.

ok but tbh that story misses a lot of the subtlety of the situation like ok
so this story is the Romance of Three Kingdoms, and essentially takes place between Zhuge Liang, resident tactician extraordinaire, and Sima Yi… OTHER resident tactician extraordinaire.
The two were both regarded as tactical geniuses and recognized the other as their rival. Zhuge Liang had a reputation for ambushing the SHIT out of his opponents and using the environment to his advantage, thus destroying large armies with a small number of men. Sima Yi (who kind of entered the picture later) was a cautious person whose speciality was unravelling his opponent’s plans before they began. So it was natural that the two would butt heads; however, since Sima Yi tended to have more men and resources, he started winning battles against the former. Which, y’know, kinda sucked.
On to the actual story: Zhuge Liang is all like “shit i gotta defend this city with like 10 men.” Literally if he fights ANY kind of battle here, he WILL lose; his only option for survival is not to fight. And that’s looking more and more impossible until he hears that his rival is leading the opposing army. And then he gets this brilliant idea. He basically opens all the gates, sends his men out in civilian clothes to sweep the streets, and sits on top of the gate drinking tea and chilling out and basically makes the whole thing out to be a trap
When Sima Yi comes he’s all like “yo come on in bro”
and Sima Yi is like “yeah he’s never been that obvious about his traps before. this is definitely a bluff” and he’s about to head in when he realizes
wait. he knows that i think he’s bluffing.
and so he gets it in his head that maybe, just MAYBE, Zhuge Liang has this cunning plan that will wipe out his army - recall that he has a pretty good handle on what his rival is capable of. And after a long period of deliberation (which is just like “he know that I know that he knows that etc.”), being the cautious man he is, SIma Yi eventually decides to turn his entire army around and leave.
Zhuge Liang later points out that the plan was based specifically on the fact that he was facing his rival; if it had been anyone else, there’s no way it would have worked. A dumber or less cautious person would have simply charged in and won without breaking a sweat. 
and that’s the real genius here: it was a plan formed entirely just to deceive one man, and it worked.

Zhuge Liang is the most brilliant, sneaky-ass bastard in history. One time his side’s army was out of arrows, which pretty much meant they were screwed. So Zhuge Liang goes and does the logical thing, which is build a fuck ton of scarecrows and put them all on boats. Then he makes the men hide in the boats and sail them out on the river.
Well, that day was super foggy (which Zhuge Liang had predicted. Did I mention he was also a freakishly accurate meteorologist?). So the enemy across the river sees a fleet of boats armed to the teeth with what appears to be half an army of men. They panic! and start firing arrows like crazy. 
Zhuge Liang lets this play out for a while, then he’s like, ”Ok guys that’s enough.” They calmly turn the boats around and go back to base, where they dismantle the scarecrows and pull out all the enemy’s arrows.
Zhuge Liang is legend.

I love this post. It just keeps getting better. Like seriously, I would have adored learning about this in World History.

If you want to see this in cinematic glory, watch Red Cliff.
Especially since it makes Zhuge Liang look like this:
Red Cliff is 50% bloody battles and 50% eye candy and about half of that eye-candy is due to Zhuge Liang

I fully support watching Red Cliff; it’s gloriously silly entertainment during the battle scenes.

Guess what just got moved to the top of my watch list?? :D

    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                Only: inquisitorhotpants:

burntcopper:

futureevilscientist:

optimysticals:

uovoc:

konec0:

sleepyferret:

shitfacedanon:

dat-soldier:

sonnetscrewdriver:

dat-soldier:

did-you-kno:

Source


back the fuck up


There’s another story that I like about a Chinese general who had to defend a city with only a handful of soldiers from a huge enemy horde that was in all likelihood going to steamroll the place flat within hours of showing up.
So when said horde did arrive, they saw the general sitting outside the city’s open gates, drinking tea. The horde sent a couple of emissaries over to see what was what, and the general greeted them cheerfully and invited them all to come and take tea with him.
The horde decided that this was a scenario that had “MASSIVE FUCKING TRAP” written all over it in beautiful calligraphy and promptly fucked off.
Whoever that general was, he was clearly the Ancient Chinese equivalent of Sam Vimes.


did he just invite us over for tea nah man i’m out


This just keeps getting better

I fucking love history.

ok but tbh that story misses a lot of the subtlety of the situation like ok
so this story is the Romance of Three Kingdoms, and essentially takes place between Zhuge Liang, resident tactician extraordinaire, and Sima Yi… OTHER resident tactician extraordinaire.
The two were both regarded as tactical geniuses and recognized the other as their rival. Zhuge Liang had a reputation for ambushing the SHIT out of his opponents and using the environment to his advantage, thus destroying large armies with a small number of men. Sima Yi (who kind of entered the picture later) was a cautious person whose speciality was unravelling his opponent’s plans before they began. So it was natural that the two would butt heads; however, since Sima Yi tended to have more men and resources, he started winning battles against the former. Which, y’know, kinda sucked.
On to the actual story: Zhuge Liang is all like “shit i gotta defend this city with like 10 men.” Literally if he fights ANY kind of battle here, he WILL lose; his only option for survival is not to fight. And that’s looking more and more impossible until he hears that his rival is leading the opposing army. And then he gets this brilliant idea. He basically opens all the gates, sends his men out in civilian clothes to sweep the streets, and sits on top of the gate drinking tea and chilling out and basically makes the whole thing out to be a trap
When Sima Yi comes he’s all like “yo come on in bro”
and Sima Yi is like “yeah he’s never been that obvious about his traps before. this is definitely a bluff” and he’s about to head in when he realizes
wait. he knows that i think he’s bluffing.
and so he gets it in his head that maybe, just MAYBE, Zhuge Liang has this cunning plan that will wipe out his army - recall that he has a pretty good handle on what his rival is capable of. And after a long period of deliberation (which is just like “he know that I know that he knows that etc.”), being the cautious man he is, SIma Yi eventually decides to turn his entire army around and leave.
Zhuge Liang later points out that the plan was based specifically on the fact that he was facing his rival; if it had been anyone else, there’s no way it would have worked. A dumber or less cautious person would have simply charged in and won without breaking a sweat. 
and that’s the real genius here: it was a plan formed entirely just to deceive one man, and it worked.

Zhuge Liang is the most brilliant, sneaky-ass bastard in history. One time his side’s army was out of arrows, which pretty much meant they were screwed. So Zhuge Liang goes and does the logical thing, which is build a fuck ton of scarecrows and put them all on boats. Then he makes the men hide in the boats and sail them out on the river.
Well, that day was super foggy (which Zhuge Liang had predicted. Did I mention he was also a freakishly accurate meteorologist?). So the enemy across the river sees a fleet of boats armed to the teeth with what appears to be half an army of men. They panic! and start firing arrows like crazy. 
Zhuge Liang lets this play out for a while, then he’s like, ”Ok guys that’s enough.” They calmly turn the boats around and go back to base, where they dismantle the scarecrows and pull out all the enemy’s arrows.
Zhuge Liang is legend.

I love this post. It just keeps getting better. Like seriously, I would have adored learning about this in World History.

If you want to see this in cinematic glory, watch Red Cliff.
Especially since it makes Zhuge Liang look like this:
Red Cliff is 50% bloody battles and 50% eye candy and about half of that eye-candy is due to Zhuge Liang

I fully support watching Red Cliff; it’s gloriously silly entertainment during the battle scenes.

Guess what just got moved to the top of my watch list?? :D

                
            

            
            
inquisitorhotpants:

burntcopper:

futureevilscientist:

optimysticals:

uovoc:

konec0:

sleepyferret:

shitfacedanon:

dat-soldier:

so...

            
            
        

    



        

        
        

            







    Only: I can’t be the only one… Right?
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                Only: I can’t be the only one… Right?
                
            

            
            
I can’t be the only one… Right?

            
            
        

    



        

        
        

            







    Only: I can’t be the only one… Right?
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                Only: I can’t be the only one… Right?
                
            

            
            
I can’t be the only one… Right?

            
            
        

    



        

        
        

            







    Only: I can’t be the only one, right?
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                Only: I can’t be the only one, right?
                
            

            
            
I can’t be the only one, right?

            
            
        

    



        

        
        

            






        

        
        

            







    Only: My wife doesn’t understand why I laugh at the dog. Am I the only one that sees it?
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                Only: My wife doesn’t understand why I laugh at the dog. Am I the only one that sees it?
                
            

            
            
My wife doesn’t understand why I laugh at the dog. Am I the only one that sees it?

            
            
        

    



        

        
        

            







    Only: My wife doesn’t understand why I laugh at the dog. Am I the only one that sees it?
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                Only: My wife doesn’t understand why I laugh at the dog. Am I the only one that sees it?
                
            

            
            
My wife doesn’t understand why I laugh at the dog. Am I the only one that sees it?

            
            
        

    



        

        
        

            







    Only: There’s only one race
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                Only: There’s only one race
                
            

            
            
There’s only one race

            
            
        

    



        

        
        

            







    Only: Tell me I’m not the only one who watched this show
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                Only: Tell me I’m not the only one who watched this show
                
            

            
            
Tell me I’m not the only one who watched this show

            
            
        

    



        

        
        

            






        

        
        

            







    Only: It takes only 42 seconds
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                Only: It takes only 42 seconds
                
            

            
            
It takes only 42 seconds

            
            
        

    



        

        
        

            







    Only: This took too long, and i only did it because of quarantine
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                Only: This took too long, and i only did it because of quarantine
                
            

            
            
This took too long, and i only did it because of quarantine

            
            
        

    



        

        
        

            







    Only: This took too long, and i only did it because of quarantine by wholesome_doggo69
MORE MEMES
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                Only: This took too long, and i only did it because of quarantine by wholesome_doggo69
MORE MEMES
                
            

            
            
This took too long, and i only did it because of quarantine by wholesome_doggo69
MORE MEMES

            
            
        

    



        

        
        

            







    Only: lovecraft is not only cthulhu
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                Only: lovecraft is not only cthulhu
                
            

            
            
lovecraft is not only cthulhu