orcs


                    
                    
                

                

                

            

        
    







            

            
            

                

                    
                

                

                    

                        


	

	
    

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    orcs: undergroundwubwubmaster:

Commission for @from-titan - featuring their orc Vaana !I wanna draw more orcs ;;
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                orcs: undergroundwubwubmaster:

Commission for @from-titan - featuring their orc Vaana !I wanna draw more orcs ;;
                
            

            
            
undergroundwubwubmaster:

Commission for @from-titan - featuring their orc Vaana !I wanna draw more orcs ;;

            
            
        

    



        

        
        

            







    orcs: readerjohn:

peaceheather:

thequeensphinx:

roll–initiative:

meme-xirl-wonder:

luidilovins:


asundergrowth:

lovelyloseruniverse:

asundergrowth:


vocifersaurus:

abrakafcukyou:

bitterfucked:

breastforce:
how to tell if your worldbuilding is Bad
i didn’t wanna reblog this just cos it doesn’t deserve to get seen but:
a) dwarves don’t share the gender binary that humans use, heterosexual versus homosexual is meaningless to them
b) gnomes have such a predilection towards illusions that gender is primarily based on presentation. because of consistent interaction with humans, they tend towards visually hetero relationships just for sake of public ease but gnomes all know gender is an ilusion
c) halflings are super community oriented. they would be incredibly accepting of homosexuality because frowning on someone for liking a particular gender is counter to community building
d) goblins don’t believe in sexuality they believe in food
e) orcs are 100% butch lesbians and bears. they are totally gay with a small side of being attracted to muscles and soft hairy bellies “but if they’re all gay how do they reproduce?” magic rituals motherfucker it’s a fantasy world
f) tieflings never have a predominant culture and tend to ascribe to human values, with a bit of “i’m already an outcast, so anything goes”. i don’t wanna say tieflings are super gay just because there is a lot of baggage that comes with the evil demon race being super gay but tieflings are super gay
g) dragonborn carry a lot of draconic values, one of the most notable being vanity. if a dragonbron is gay, they will literally be the embodiment of that “move, i’m gay” video. taboo my ass just try to stop that dragonborn, they’ll show you the meaning of flaming
bottom line here is really that if you thought the dnd races were straight you were so wrong. i am going to find you and rub my gay ass on your player’s handbook


bury me with this post it’s perfect


Goblins don’t believe in sexuality they believe in food. 

Consider: Orcs are like bats. 95% of them are homosexual because the few orcs that ARE straight produce children at insane rates. Because of this, adoption is considered the norm in Orc society. Orcs are unconcerned with lineage and do not take a family name, but rather a clan or tribe name. 


I like this

Straight orcs never stop fucking and its a problem


Are you saying that 95% of bats are gay? 


You can’t argue with the facts. 

“Oh yeah, those two are Gnarla and Lorg, they are the Fuckers™”


Holy shit imma show this to my dm and he is just gonna die laughing 



The fuckers

@godkingsanointed   @rapid-artwork
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                orcs: readerjohn:

peaceheather:

thequeensphinx:

roll–initiative:

meme-xirl-wonder:

luidilovins:


asundergrowth:

lovelyloseruniverse:

asundergrowth:


vocifersaurus:

abrakafcukyou:

bitterfucked:

breastforce:
how to tell if your worldbuilding is Bad
i didn’t wanna reblog this just cos it doesn’t deserve to get seen but:
a) dwarves don’t share the gender binary that humans use, heterosexual versus homosexual is meaningless to them
b) gnomes have such a predilection towards illusions that gender is primarily based on presentation. because of consistent interaction with humans, they tend towards visually hetero relationships just for sake of public ease but gnomes all know gender is an ilusion
c) halflings are super community oriented. they would be incredibly accepting of homosexuality because frowning on someone for liking a particular gender is counter to community building
d) goblins don’t believe in sexuality they believe in food
e) orcs are 100% butch lesbians and bears. they are totally gay with a small side of being attracted to muscles and soft hairy bellies “but if they’re all gay how do they reproduce?” magic rituals motherfucker it’s a fantasy world
f) tieflings never have a predominant culture and tend to ascribe to human values, with a bit of “i’m already an outcast, so anything goes”. i don’t wanna say tieflings are super gay just because there is a lot of baggage that comes with the evil demon race being super gay but tieflings are super gay
g) dragonborn carry a lot of draconic values, one of the most notable being vanity. if a dragonbron is gay, they will literally be the embodiment of that “move, i’m gay” video. taboo my ass just try to stop that dragonborn, they’ll show you the meaning of flaming
bottom line here is really that if you thought the dnd races were straight you were so wrong. i am going to find you and rub my gay ass on your player’s handbook


bury me with this post it’s perfect


Goblins don’t believe in sexuality they believe in food. 

Consider: Orcs are like bats. 95% of them are homosexual because the few orcs that ARE straight produce children at insane rates. Because of this, adoption is considered the norm in Orc society. Orcs are unconcerned with lineage and do not take a family name, but rather a clan or tribe name. 


I like this

Straight orcs never stop fucking and its a problem


Are you saying that 95% of bats are gay? 


You can’t argue with the facts. 

“Oh yeah, those two are Gnarla and Lorg, they are the Fuckers™”


Holy shit imma show this to my dm and he is just gonna die laughing 



The fuckers

@godkingsanointed   @rapid-artwork
                
            

            
            
readerjohn:

peaceheather:

thequeensphinx:

roll–initiative:

meme-xirl-wonder:

luidilovins:


asundergrowth:

lovelyloseruniverse:

as...

            
            
        

    



        

        
        

            







    orcs: destinytomoon:

I did a post about me talking how I didn’t like Orcs ladies with Jessica Rabbit’s body and somebody said me “okey but consider Jessica Rabbit with muscles” and then, this born.
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                orcs: destinytomoon:

I did a post about me talking how I didn’t like Orcs ladies with Jessica Rabbit’s body and somebody said me “okey but consider Jessica Rabbit with muscles” and then, this born.
                
            

            
            
destinytomoon:

I did a post about me talking how I didn’t like Orcs ladies with Jessica Rabbit’s body and somebody said me “okey but con...

            
            
        

    



        

        
        

            







    orcs: mostuncomfortable:

SUUUP NERDS. Bet you didn’t think orcs had librarians! She’s soooo smart I bet you couldn’t even handle it.
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                orcs: mostuncomfortable:

SUUUP NERDS. Bet you didn’t think orcs had librarians! She’s soooo smart I bet you couldn’t even handle it.
                
            

            
            
mostuncomfortable:

SUUUP NERDS. Bet you didn’t think orcs had librarians! She’s soooo smart I bet you couldn’t even handle it.

            
            
        

    



        

        
        

            






        

        
        

            






        

        
        

            






        

        
        

            






        

        
        

            






        

        
        

            







    orcs: warcraftmovie:

Orcs never retreat.
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                orcs: warcraftmovie:

Orcs never retreat.
                
            

            
            
warcraftmovie:

Orcs never retreat.

            
            
        

    



        

        
        

            






        

        
        

            






        

        
        

            






        

        
        

            






        

        
        

            







    orcs: Dwarven Hair Customs
 Much Like Orcs and Elves, Dwarves have
 many rules and customs in regards to their
 hair.
 Unlike Elves, who believe the act of cutting
 their hair is shameful, or Orcs who only maintain
 their hair until battle (an orcish answer to
 throwing down the gauntlet), a Dwarf will cut
 or restyle their hair at certain turning points
 during their life, such as
 reaching adulthood, marriage, a major victory
 loss
 (but not limited to)
 or
 on the battlefield, and death.
 Youth (50 and below)
 Simple, Free
 Ribbons
 -Beard hasn't come in
 fully
 No beads
 -No braids
 Usually
 or in a ponytail
 are
 popular
 with the
 kids
 worn loose
 Adulthood (51-200)
 (loose)
 Braids allowed
 Hair is very long
 if unmarried
 Beads can be earned
 -Improper
 entírely loose at this
 point ín life
 to wear hair
 AURUstETFe

 Old Age (200+
 -Worn up, if long
 enough
 if short, ribbons,
 horsehair, wool,
 will be used to
 emulate longer hair
 etc
 Important note: the hair of a dwarf can be cut, but the beard gets left alone.
 Every dwarf grows a beard. If a dwarfling's beard hasnt come in by the time
 theyre 51, they remain a dwarfling until they grow one
 <Marriage
 Anewly married dwarf will cut
 off their hair in the back to signify
 commitment. Couples are
 disallowed from dívorce until both
 parties have regrown their hair to
 their shoulders (usually about 2
 months). A married dwarf will cap
 their braids.
 00
 Victory
 This celebratory haircstyle is
 characterised by excessive decoration
 and braids, to be worn for 2 weeks,
 upon which the dwarf will add another
 bead to their everyday attire.
 < Battlefield Loss/Death of
 Loved One
 a
 Signified by an entirely clipped head of
 hair, when'a major loss is suffered in life,
 it's unlucky
 giving up some of your pride.
 not to pay it due respect by
 Death and Burial>
 A dwarf passingov
 must have their hair covered so that
 no beasts or demons
 see their life experiences. They
 to be allowed
 before the gods
 over into the afterlife
 on the journey may
 are said
 to uncover themselves
 AubuSE2fe
filibusterfrog:dwarven hair customs
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                orcs: Dwarven Hair Customs
 Much Like Orcs and Elves, Dwarves have
 many rules and customs in regards to their
 hair.
 Unlike Elves, who believe the act of cutting
 their hair is shameful, or Orcs who only maintain
 their hair until battle (an orcish answer to
 throwing down the gauntlet), a Dwarf will cut
 or restyle their hair at certain turning points
 during their life, such as
 reaching adulthood, marriage, a major victory
 loss
 (but not limited to)
 or
 on the battlefield, and death.
 Youth (50 and below)
 Simple, Free
 Ribbons
 -Beard hasn't come in
 fully
 No beads
 -No braids
 Usually
 or in a ponytail
 are
 popular
 with the
 kids
 worn loose
 Adulthood (51-200)
 (loose)
 Braids allowed
 Hair is very long
 if unmarried
 Beads can be earned
 -Improper
 entírely loose at this
 point ín life
 to wear hair
 AURUstETFe

 Old Age (200+
 -Worn up, if long
 enough
 if short, ribbons,
 horsehair, wool,
 will be used to
 emulate longer hair
 etc
 Important note: the hair of a dwarf can be cut, but the beard gets left alone.
 Every dwarf grows a beard. If a dwarfling's beard hasnt come in by the time
 theyre 51, they remain a dwarfling until they grow one
 <Marriage
 Anewly married dwarf will cut
 off their hair in the back to signify
 commitment. Couples are
 disallowed from dívorce until both
 parties have regrown their hair to
 their shoulders (usually about 2
 months). A married dwarf will cap
 their braids.
 00
 Victory
 This celebratory haircstyle is
 characterised by excessive decoration
 and braids, to be worn for 2 weeks,
 upon which the dwarf will add another
 bead to their everyday attire.
 < Battlefield Loss/Death of
 Loved One
 a
 Signified by an entirely clipped head of
 hair, when'a major loss is suffered in life,
 it's unlucky
 giving up some of your pride.
 not to pay it due respect by
 Death and Burial>
 A dwarf passingov
 must have their hair covered so that
 no beasts or demons
 see their life experiences. They
 to be allowed
 before the gods
 over into the afterlife
 on the journey may
 are said
 to uncover themselves
 AubuSE2fe
filibusterfrog:dwarven hair customs
                
            

            
            
filibusterfrog:dwarven hair customs

            
            
        

    



        

        
        

            







    orcs: The Halfling's declining birthrates, in tandem with a deeply ingrained
 culture of hospitality has led to a
 recent uptick in cross-species
 adoption.
 Frequently orphaned, due
 to the naturally short lifespan:s
 of orcs, orcish children with
 halfling parents have
 become somewhat more
 common in halfling
 settlements.
 po
 Dad (60)
 (Adopted) Daughter (16)

 / Love
 MY
 While it is generally considered unacceptable for
 little folk to go adventuring, it is perfectly repectable
 for any upstanding halfling to travel distantly in search
 of an appropriate child
 (In light of recent events, laws have been passed
 that only allow for one such venture to prevent the
 sizes of families getting out of hand)
missoyashirou:

mithrils-hanger:

lizawithazed:

dvandom:

filibusterfrog:
halflings love their new giant children
“So, Mister…GRAAAAGH Underhill-by-Sackville, is it?”“Indeed.”“You’re an Orc, but you don’t mention any clan….”“Oh, I’m culturally Hobbitish, I was adopted at a very young age.  And I’m very keen on this position you have open at your trading house.”“The guard position?”“Heavens, no.  I barely know which end of a sword goes into the miscreant.  I am a certified accountant, and eager to make my mark in respectable society.”


I once played a kobold sorcerer-rogue with this exact backstory

even better, Tolkein Orcs seem to grow in size based on how good their diet is. thus Misty Mountain and Moria ‘goblins’ are relatively small (caves rarely provide much in the way of nourishment), Mordor orcs are a bit on the larger size, but still close to dwarf size (given that two hobbits easily blend in), while the extremely well fed Orthanc Uruk-Hai are the size of large men.Hobbits eat six meals a day, when they can get them. and love to snack in between. even the poorest are able to sustain this diet, and the rich just eat far more elaborate meals. 
those adopted kids are going to grow up to be huge.

A 10 foot tall green dude by the name of Arthur Brambly-Took came to my luncheon and now I’m going to have to marry him

    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                orcs: The Halfling's declining birthrates, in tandem with a deeply ingrained
 culture of hospitality has led to a
 recent uptick in cross-species
 adoption.
 Frequently orphaned, due
 to the naturally short lifespan:s
 of orcs, orcish children with
 halfling parents have
 become somewhat more
 common in halfling
 settlements.
 po
 Dad (60)
 (Adopted) Daughter (16)

 / Love
 MY
 While it is generally considered unacceptable for
 little folk to go adventuring, it is perfectly repectable
 for any upstanding halfling to travel distantly in search
 of an appropriate child
 (In light of recent events, laws have been passed
 that only allow for one such venture to prevent the
 sizes of families getting out of hand)
missoyashirou:

mithrils-hanger:

lizawithazed:

dvandom:

filibusterfrog:
halflings love their new giant children
“So, Mister…GRAAAAGH Underhill-by-Sackville, is it?”“Indeed.”“You’re an Orc, but you don’t mention any clan….”“Oh, I’m culturally Hobbitish, I was adopted at a very young age.  And I’m very keen on this position you have open at your trading house.”“The guard position?”“Heavens, no.  I barely know which end of a sword goes into the miscreant.  I am a certified accountant, and eager to make my mark in respectable society.”


I once played a kobold sorcerer-rogue with this exact backstory

even better, Tolkein Orcs seem to grow in size based on how good their diet is. thus Misty Mountain and Moria ‘goblins’ are relatively small (caves rarely provide much in the way of nourishment), Mordor orcs are a bit on the larger size, but still close to dwarf size (given that two hobbits easily blend in), while the extremely well fed Orthanc Uruk-Hai are the size of large men.Hobbits eat six meals a day, when they can get them. and love to snack in between. even the poorest are able to sustain this diet, and the rich just eat far more elaborate meals. 
those adopted kids are going to grow up to be huge.

A 10 foot tall green dude by the name of Arthur Brambly-Took came to my luncheon and now I’m going to have to marry him

                
            

            
            
missoyashirou:

mithrils-hanger:

lizawithazed:

dvandom:

filibusterfrog:
halflings love their new giant children
“So, Mister…GRAAAAGH U...

            
            
        

    



        

        
        

            






        

        
        

            






        

        
        

            






        

        
        

            







    orcs: hobbit-hole
 if i had to get in a fistfight with any member of the fellowship it would be Frodo
 because i would easily win
 hobbit-hole
 all i am saying is that he would ostensibly be the easiest one to take on in a fight
 given that he's like three feet tall and has led a life of (physical) leisure
 compared to all of the others due to his standing as a gentlehobbit
 legolas, aragorn, and gimli are all used to combat, sam works as a gardener
 merry and pippin often gallivant off and get into mischief so they have the
 advantage of experience in whatever it is they've gotten up to/would possibly
 fight dirty, gandalf is gandalf so while weapons are out of the question i suppose
 that depends on if magic is involved. i don't think i could take him without magic
 even if he is old because he's a very large guy, but maybe
 it would be my knuckles against Frodo's baby soft poet hands, plus rve got the
 additional height and fighting experience. i just think that he would be the easiest
 to win against in hand-to-hand combat out of the rest of them. also he isn't real
 so he can't offer a rebuttal to my claim
 penny-anna
 you're absolutely correct BUT wanting to fight Frodo makes you a monster D
 hobbit-hole
 this has nothing to do with WANTING to fight Frodo, i just think he would be
 easiest for me to beat in a fight with no weapons. unless he utilized his very
 large feet, but i think he's too polite to do that because it's a fist fight and that
 would be considered playing dirty
 penny anna
 for someone who doesn't want to fight Frodo you sure have put a lot of thought
 into fighting Frodo.
 animate-mush
 OP is wrong though: you fight Pippin.
 First off, Pippin has it coming, so you won't be fighting your conscience at the
 same time
 Secondly, Pippin is a spoiled rich kid. He's no less gentry than Frodo is, but
 Frodo works out and is shown to have better stamina, at least at the outset.
 Pippin is also both the stupidest and the slowest of the hobbits. They both nearly
 beat one (1) troll, so that's comparable, but Pippin appears not to have got a
 single hit in against the orcs that captured them while Merry was cutting off
 hands like a boss. Pippin also straight-up tell Bergil that he's not a fighter
 Also there's a nonzero chance that Frodo will just straight up curse you (if the
 guilt of fighting Frodo isn't enough if a curse by itself)
 And, of course, if you try to fight Frodo, you will 100% end up fighting Sam, and
 he will wreck you (and you'll deserve it, you
 penny-anna
 Also: if you fight Frodo you'll have a very angry Sam & possibly also the entire
 Fellowship to deal with BUT if you fight Pippin they will probably cheer you on
 ainurs
 Bold of you to assume one could attempt to fight Pippin and NOT instantly be
 killed by Boromir
 feynites
 So here's the thing - you absolutely DO NOT want to try and fight Frodo or
 Pippin because they are going to be protected by the rest of the Fellowship
 which basically exists to stop asshole Big People from picking on the hobbits.
 Folk might talk a big game but when the chips are down, you are not going to lay
 a single hand on any of the hobbits. Either you'll find yourself immediately
 fighting all four of them or else you'll move to land your first hit and suddenly
 Aragorn will side-tackle you into the trees. And he probably hits like a freight
 train tbh.
 So here's what you do
 You fight Legolas.
 The thing about fist-fighting Legolas of course is that you will lose. This is not a
 fight you're gonna win no matter what. But Legolas has his standing competition
 with Gimili, so once the challenge is issued, he's not gonna let anyone else step
 in and fight you either. No one is liable to volunteer on his behalf, either, so you
 will only end up fighting the one member of the fellowship. If you are lucky he
 might also take his shirt off. Bonus!
 Anyway
 Legolas will mop the floor with you, but he's also already convinced you're
 weaker than him anyway because you're not an elf, so he's gonna go kind of
 easy on you And when you lose he will be all snide and superior about it, which
 means everyone in the fellowship is gonna sympathize with you, and Gimli will
 probably challenge him on your behalf afterwards, but here's the key thing
 You will have lost a fist-fight to an immortal warrior prince
 That's a way better loss to cop to than that time you tried to fistfight a pudgy
 gentlehobbit and got beaten to the point of unconsciousness by his gardener
 yeah?
 icescrabblerjerky
 okay so tolkien tumblr is fast becoming my fave tumblr community thank you
 thank you all you are the true fellowship here.
 Source:hobbit-hole #mmmmmmmmmmhmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
 32,148 notes
The Tolkien discourse is getting violent
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                orcs: hobbit-hole
 if i had to get in a fistfight with any member of the fellowship it would be Frodo
 because i would easily win
 hobbit-hole
 all i am saying is that he would ostensibly be the easiest one to take on in a fight
 given that he's like three feet tall and has led a life of (physical) leisure
 compared to all of the others due to his standing as a gentlehobbit
 legolas, aragorn, and gimli are all used to combat, sam works as a gardener
 merry and pippin often gallivant off and get into mischief so they have the
 advantage of experience in whatever it is they've gotten up to/would possibly
 fight dirty, gandalf is gandalf so while weapons are out of the question i suppose
 that depends on if magic is involved. i don't think i could take him without magic
 even if he is old because he's a very large guy, but maybe
 it would be my knuckles against Frodo's baby soft poet hands, plus rve got the
 additional height and fighting experience. i just think that he would be the easiest
 to win against in hand-to-hand combat out of the rest of them. also he isn't real
 so he can't offer a rebuttal to my claim
 penny-anna
 you're absolutely correct BUT wanting to fight Frodo makes you a monster D
 hobbit-hole
 this has nothing to do with WANTING to fight Frodo, i just think he would be
 easiest for me to beat in a fight with no weapons. unless he utilized his very
 large feet, but i think he's too polite to do that because it's a fist fight and that
 would be considered playing dirty
 penny anna
 for someone who doesn't want to fight Frodo you sure have put a lot of thought
 into fighting Frodo.
 animate-mush
 OP is wrong though: you fight Pippin.
 First off, Pippin has it coming, so you won't be fighting your conscience at the
 same time
 Secondly, Pippin is a spoiled rich kid. He's no less gentry than Frodo is, but
 Frodo works out and is shown to have better stamina, at least at the outset.
 Pippin is also both the stupidest and the slowest of the hobbits. They both nearly
 beat one (1) troll, so that's comparable, but Pippin appears not to have got a
 single hit in against the orcs that captured them while Merry was cutting off
 hands like a boss. Pippin also straight-up tell Bergil that he's not a fighter
 Also there's a nonzero chance that Frodo will just straight up curse you (if the
 guilt of fighting Frodo isn't enough if a curse by itself)
 And, of course, if you try to fight Frodo, you will 100% end up fighting Sam, and
 he will wreck you (and you'll deserve it, you
 penny-anna
 Also: if you fight Frodo you'll have a very angry Sam & possibly also the entire
 Fellowship to deal with BUT if you fight Pippin they will probably cheer you on
 ainurs
 Bold of you to assume one could attempt to fight Pippin and NOT instantly be
 killed by Boromir
 feynites
 So here's the thing - you absolutely DO NOT want to try and fight Frodo or
 Pippin because they are going to be protected by the rest of the Fellowship
 which basically exists to stop asshole Big People from picking on the hobbits.
 Folk might talk a big game but when the chips are down, you are not going to lay
 a single hand on any of the hobbits. Either you'll find yourself immediately
 fighting all four of them or else you'll move to land your first hit and suddenly
 Aragorn will side-tackle you into the trees. And he probably hits like a freight
 train tbh.
 So here's what you do
 You fight Legolas.
 The thing about fist-fighting Legolas of course is that you will lose. This is not a
 fight you're gonna win no matter what. But Legolas has his standing competition
 with Gimili, so once the challenge is issued, he's not gonna let anyone else step
 in and fight you either. No one is liable to volunteer on his behalf, either, so you
 will only end up fighting the one member of the fellowship. If you are lucky he
 might also take his shirt off. Bonus!
 Anyway
 Legolas will mop the floor with you, but he's also already convinced you're
 weaker than him anyway because you're not an elf, so he's gonna go kind of
 easy on you And when you lose he will be all snide and superior about it, which
 means everyone in the fellowship is gonna sympathize with you, and Gimli will
 probably challenge him on your behalf afterwards, but here's the key thing
 You will have lost a fist-fight to an immortal warrior prince
 That's a way better loss to cop to than that time you tried to fistfight a pudgy
 gentlehobbit and got beaten to the point of unconsciousness by his gardener
 yeah?
 icescrabblerjerky
 okay so tolkien tumblr is fast becoming my fave tumblr community thank you
 thank you all you are the true fellowship here.
 Source:hobbit-hole #mmmmmmmmmmhmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
 32,148 notes
The Tolkien discourse is getting violent
                
            

            
            
The Tolkien discourse is getting violent

            
            
        

    



        

        
        

            






        

        
        

            






        

        
        

            






        

        
        

            






        

        
        

            







    orcs: foone
 Follow
 oone
 Here's the question I always have with
 universal translators in sci-fi: how do
 they know when to stop translation?
 Like say an alien asks about deserts on
 earth, and the human lists "the sahara
 desert, gobi desert and kalahari desert"
 Alien: You just said "desert" six times.
 :43 AM-19 Jul 2018
 756 Retweets 1,883 Likes
 068 ロ756 ㅇ1.SK
 foone @Foone 24h
 ("Sahara" is Arabic for "desert". "Gobi is Mongolian for "desert, and "Kalahari is
 Tswana for "desert
 foone @Foone 24h
 Man, the aliens are going to think we're so bad at naming. Cause really, aren't
 Brit: Behold, the beautiful River Avon
 Alien: Ahh, the River River. You humans have such a knack for naming things.
 foone Foone 24h
 Here we are in Chad, looking upon the mighty Lake Chad!
 Ahh yes, the land of Lake, bordering the Lake Lake. Another fine human name."
 foone @Foone 24h
 And here's Nyanza Lac, in Burundi. As you can tell by the fact that it's named
 Lake Lake in Bantu & French, it's a la... actually this one's a city. A city named Lake
 Lake
 strange-emily
 I found this thing on Facebook... and l fell down the Humans Are Weird hole yet
 again. ( first did before I even started my blog - Pinterest is sooo full of these
 posts! And I keep falling down it from time to time, when I discover something
 new)
 sirthane
 You could do it like Douglas Adams with some device that reads brainwaves (or
 whatever jargon you choose) and translates the intended meaning of the words
 according to the speaker. In this context, for instance, the speaker intends the
 word Sahara to mean the name of the place, so the translator would translate it
 accurately as Sahara Desert.
 I've thought about things like this before. Mostly about the common rip at ghost
 hunter shows and movies about how a x00 years old German castle has ghosts
 that speak perfect, crystal clear, modern English. My thoughts on a plausible
 explanation were that an apparition would not physically speak by causing
 vibrations in the air. Rather, consider the possibility that they instead push
 thoughts into the minds of those it interacts with causing them to experience the
 sensation of hearing and seeing them as a means to communicate
 Your brain receives thoughts of the meanings and concepts the being intends to
 convey. That's why you hear them in your native language, no matter what you
 speak or where you're at. This also comes with the bonus of explaining why
 proof is never found on audio or video recordings. The sights and sounds you
 perceive didn't actually physically happen. You could also reasonably argue that
 they'd still be able to interact with (push) physical objects with strong enough
 emotions through some means (depending on canon) while communicating in
 this manner by saying that expanding and contracting the air in such a way to
 create the sound of voice with intelligible words would require far too much
 precision and control
 ldk. It's fun stuff to think about.
 Source:strange-emily #brain waves #translation #ghost echnology
 #humans are space australians #humans are insane #humans are space oddities
 #humans are space orcs #humans are weird #humans
 16,100 notes
A neat solution to a worldbuilding problem
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                orcs: foone
 Follow
 oone
 Here's the question I always have with
 universal translators in sci-fi: how do
 they know when to stop translation?
 Like say an alien asks about deserts on
 earth, and the human lists "the sahara
 desert, gobi desert and kalahari desert"
 Alien: You just said "desert" six times.
 :43 AM-19 Jul 2018
 756 Retweets 1,883 Likes
 068 ロ756 ㅇ1.SK
 foone @Foone 24h
 ("Sahara" is Arabic for "desert". "Gobi is Mongolian for "desert, and "Kalahari is
 Tswana for "desert
 foone @Foone 24h
 Man, the aliens are going to think we're so bad at naming. Cause really, aren't
 Brit: Behold, the beautiful River Avon
 Alien: Ahh, the River River. You humans have such a knack for naming things.
 foone Foone 24h
 Here we are in Chad, looking upon the mighty Lake Chad!
 Ahh yes, the land of Lake, bordering the Lake Lake. Another fine human name."
 foone @Foone 24h
 And here's Nyanza Lac, in Burundi. As you can tell by the fact that it's named
 Lake Lake in Bantu & French, it's a la... actually this one's a city. A city named Lake
 Lake
 strange-emily
 I found this thing on Facebook... and l fell down the Humans Are Weird hole yet
 again. ( first did before I even started my blog - Pinterest is sooo full of these
 posts! And I keep falling down it from time to time, when I discover something
 new)
 sirthane
 You could do it like Douglas Adams with some device that reads brainwaves (or
 whatever jargon you choose) and translates the intended meaning of the words
 according to the speaker. In this context, for instance, the speaker intends the
 word Sahara to mean the name of the place, so the translator would translate it
 accurately as Sahara Desert.
 I've thought about things like this before. Mostly about the common rip at ghost
 hunter shows and movies about how a x00 years old German castle has ghosts
 that speak perfect, crystal clear, modern English. My thoughts on a plausible
 explanation were that an apparition would not physically speak by causing
 vibrations in the air. Rather, consider the possibility that they instead push
 thoughts into the minds of those it interacts with causing them to experience the
 sensation of hearing and seeing them as a means to communicate
 Your brain receives thoughts of the meanings and concepts the being intends to
 convey. That's why you hear them in your native language, no matter what you
 speak or where you're at. This also comes with the bonus of explaining why
 proof is never found on audio or video recordings. The sights and sounds you
 perceive didn't actually physically happen. You could also reasonably argue that
 they'd still be able to interact with (push) physical objects with strong enough
 emotions through some means (depending on canon) while communicating in
 this manner by saying that expanding and contracting the air in such a way to
 create the sound of voice with intelligible words would require far too much
 precision and control
 ldk. It's fun stuff to think about.
 Source:strange-emily #brain waves #translation #ghost echnology
 #humans are space australians #humans are insane #humans are space oddities
 #humans are space orcs #humans are weird #humans
 16,100 notes
A neat solution to a worldbuilding problem
                
            

            
            
A neat solution to a worldbuilding problem

            
            
        

    



        

        
        

            






        

        
        

            






        

        
        

            






        

        
        

            






        

        
        

            






        

        
        

            






        

        
        

            






        

        
        

            






        

        
        

            






        

        
        

            







    orcs: ORD OF THE RINGS
 RANDOM FACTS
 thar
 eveRy Fan should kou
 AKT 2)
 The hobbits are actually a sub-group of men. They
 appeared in the First Age and lived by the river, pawing
 unnoticed by other races until the Third Age, when they
 settled in The Shire with the penmission of th. Kng of
 Arthedain (a kingdom of men in the north).
 The ifespan of a hobbit is longerthan that of regular
 The oldest known
 was the Old Took, who reached 1yo years. Bilbo ouelived
 the Old Took, by the time of his departure to the
 Undying Lands he was 13a years old
 Hebbits have an innate ablity to theow stones with a
 very accurate aiming. You can see in the movies how this
 s depicted, an Merry and Pippin throw stones at the ores
 n The Felowship of the Ring and in The Two Towersy
 and Bibe does so in
 Hobbit trilogy.
 to be as beautiful
 as the fairest maid to
 ever wak the world, Lothien, and shares many
 similitudes with her. The biggest one is the fact that
 both were immortal maids that fel in love with amortal
 man, choosing death in oeder to be with them.
 Arwen, Elrond has
 Elrohir They used to ride with the Rangers of the North
 and deeply hated the orcs, as their mother, Celebrian,
 was ambushed and tormented by them, damaging her
 Earth forever
 No partofthe books ever mentiens Legolas's hair
 celoue. It could be assumed that he is likely to be blonde
 due to his father's golden hair, but chances are that he
 could be dark haired, as some ilustrations depict him
 The reason for Boromir's presence in Rivendell is that his
 brother, Faramis, had a recurrent dream that little after
 Beromir dreamt toe, so he was seeking the advice o
 Elrond. In the dream a veice said some kind ef profecy
 which basicaly meant that they should look for Aragan
 in Rivendell, the One Ring was about to waken and the
 war for Middle Earth was about te begin
 Gollum story has some pretty dark and grim parts. It
 among the
 blood-drinking ghost that crept into the holes to find
 the young" and "slipped through windows to find
 cradles, suggesting that Gelum ate human children
 and babies when be could find them.
 When the Felowship is about to leave Lethorien
 Galadriel orders Gimli to ask for a gift (this can be seen
 n the extended edition of the movie), He anks fora
 single strand of Galadriel's hai, she then proceeds to cut
 three of them and gives them te GimE. What bringsa
 deep and signficant meaning to this gift, is the fact that
 she wn asked for the same thrice by the most badass of
 all the elves that ever lved, Feanor, but she always
 Many think that al the good guys in The Lord of the
 ings are white-skinned and beautiful and all the bad
 and ugy. That's not true
 There was a tribe of men caled the Druedain that lived
 within the berders of
 oGondor. These
 were short, dark skinned andr in tho eyes ofelves
 other men, ugly. Yet they were mever corrupted by evil,
 hated the orcs and his actionswere key in the outcome
 of the Battle of the Pelennos, as they aided the Rohirrim
 to arrive on time through the woods
 Char's all FoR nouu. Chank you
 FOR
 youR atcencion.
 Sorry, just ran out of potatoes
 Here's a jicama for the long post
LOTR Random Facts #2
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                orcs: ORD OF THE RINGS
 RANDOM FACTS
 thar
 eveRy Fan should kou
 AKT 2)
 The hobbits are actually a sub-group of men. They
 appeared in the First Age and lived by the river, pawing
 unnoticed by other races until the Third Age, when they
 settled in The Shire with the penmission of th. Kng of
 Arthedain (a kingdom of men in the north).
 The ifespan of a hobbit is longerthan that of regular
 The oldest known
 was the Old Took, who reached 1yo years. Bilbo ouelived
 the Old Took, by the time of his departure to the
 Undying Lands he was 13a years old
 Hebbits have an innate ablity to theow stones with a
 very accurate aiming. You can see in the movies how this
 s depicted, an Merry and Pippin throw stones at the ores
 n The Felowship of the Ring and in The Two Towersy
 and Bibe does so in
 Hobbit trilogy.
 to be as beautiful
 as the fairest maid to
 ever wak the world, Lothien, and shares many
 similitudes with her. The biggest one is the fact that
 both were immortal maids that fel in love with amortal
 man, choosing death in oeder to be with them.
 Arwen, Elrond has
 Elrohir They used to ride with the Rangers of the North
 and deeply hated the orcs, as their mother, Celebrian,
 was ambushed and tormented by them, damaging her
 Earth forever
 No partofthe books ever mentiens Legolas's hair
 celoue. It could be assumed that he is likely to be blonde
 due to his father's golden hair, but chances are that he
 could be dark haired, as some ilustrations depict him
 The reason for Boromir's presence in Rivendell is that his
 brother, Faramis, had a recurrent dream that little after
 Beromir dreamt toe, so he was seeking the advice o
 Elrond. In the dream a veice said some kind ef profecy
 which basicaly meant that they should look for Aragan
 in Rivendell, the One Ring was about to waken and the
 war for Middle Earth was about te begin
 Gollum story has some pretty dark and grim parts. It
 among the
 blood-drinking ghost that crept into the holes to find
 the young" and "slipped through windows to find
 cradles, suggesting that Gelum ate human children
 and babies when be could find them.
 When the Felowship is about to leave Lethorien
 Galadriel orders Gimli to ask for a gift (this can be seen
 n the extended edition of the movie), He anks fora
 single strand of Galadriel's hai, she then proceeds to cut
 three of them and gives them te GimE. What bringsa
 deep and signficant meaning to this gift, is the fact that
 she wn asked for the same thrice by the most badass of
 all the elves that ever lved, Feanor, but she always
 Many think that al the good guys in The Lord of the
 ings are white-skinned and beautiful and all the bad
 and ugy. That's not true
 There was a tribe of men caled the Druedain that lived
 within the berders of
 oGondor. These
 were short, dark skinned andr in tho eyes ofelves
 other men, ugly. Yet they were mever corrupted by evil,
 hated the orcs and his actionswere key in the outcome
 of the Battle of the Pelennos, as they aided the Rohirrim
 to arrive on time through the woods
 Char's all FoR nouu. Chank you
 FOR
 youR atcencion.
 Sorry, just ran out of potatoes
 Here's a jicama for the long post
LOTR Random Facts #2
                
            

            
            
LOTR Random Facts #2

            
            
        

    



        

        
        

            







    orcs: its tunny how science iction unverses s0
 oten treat humans as a boring defaut
 everyman species or even the weakest and
 I want to see a scit universe where we're
 actualy considered one of the mare hideous
 and territying species
 How do we know our saiva and skin ois
 wouidn't be utra-corrosive to most other
 races? What if we
 strongest vocal chords and can paralye or ka
 the
 screaming at them? what if most sentient lite in
 the universe turns out to be vegetable-like and
 ives in fear of us rare animat races who can
 move so quicly and chew shit up with our
 Like that old story theyre made of meat onty
 HOLY SHT THEY EAT CAPSACIN FOR FUN
 YOU GUYS IHEARD A HUMAN ONCE ATE AN
 A HUMAN CAN KEEP FIGHTING FOR HOURS EVEN
 humans are a proud warrior race weh a pantheon
 of bloody gods Ram-Bo, Schwarzenegger, etc
 REMOVING A LIMB WLL NOT FATALLY
 INCAPACITATE HUMANS ALWAYS DESTROY THE
 HEAD
 WARNING HUMANS CAN DETECT YOU EVEN AT
 NIGHT BY TRACKING VIBRATIONS THROUGH THE
 WARNING HUMANS CAN REPRODUCE AT A
 RATE OF 1 PER SPACEYEAR DESTROY
 INFESTATIONS IMMEDIATELY
 THE HUMAN MOUTH HAS OVER THIRTY
 OUTCROPS OF BONE AND POWERFUL JAW
 HUMAN BITES CAN BE FATALLY INFECTIOUS
 EVEN TO OTHER HUMANS
 WARNTIG HUMANS CAN AND WILL USE
 IMPROMSED WEAPONS SEE CLASSIFIED DATA
 HUMANS CAN PROJECT BIOWEAPONS FROM
 ALMOST EVERY ORIFICE ON THEIR BOOY 0O
 OH GOO THE HUMANS FIGURED OUT DOOR
 HANDLES OH GOD OH GO0
 More senously, humans do have a number of
 advantages even among Terrestrial life Our endurance
 shock resistance, and abiity to recover trom injury is
 absurdy high compared to amost any other animal we
 often use the phrase heathy as a horse to connote
 heartiness-but compared to a human, a horse is as
 fragie as spun glass There's mountng evidence that
 our primitive ancestors would hunt large prey simply by
 toiong逮at a walking pace. without sleep or rest un
 t ded of exhaustion, ts called pursuit predation
 The only other animal that can sort of keep up wth us?
 Dogs That's why we use them for hunting And even
 then it's only sort of)
 Now extrapolate that to a galaxy in which most sapient
 te did not evolive from hyper-speciaised pursut
 Our strength and speed is nothing to write home
 about, but we dont need to overpower or outrun
 you, we just need to ousast you- and by any
 other species standards, we just plain don t ge
 e Where a simple broken leg will cause most
 species to go into shock and die, we can recover
 from
 vitually any injury that's not
 atal Even traumatik dismemberment isnt
 necessarily a career-ending injury for a human
 We heal from injunes with edtreme rapioity
 recovenng in weeks trom wounds that would take
 others months or years to heal The resuits aren't
 pretty humans have hyperactive scar tissue.
 among our other suvival-onented trats-bu
 ook at our
 We developed surgery centuries before
 developing even the most
 anesthetics or life support. in extermis, humans
 have been known to perform surgery on
 themselves- and survive Thanks to our
 extreme heartiness we regard as routine medica
 procedures what most other species would regard
 as inventive forms of murder We even perform
 radical surgery on ourselves for purely cosmetic
 n essence, wed be Space Orcs
 I do hope you realize Im going to be picking up this stuft and
 Our jaus have too many TEETH in them, so we developed a way
 O WELD METAL TO OUR TEETH and FORCE THE BONES IN
 OUR JAVV to restructure over the course of years to fit them back
 into shape and then we continue to wear metail in out mouths to
 keep them in place
 We formed cohabitative relationships with tny mamma's and
 insects we keep at bay from botnening us by death, often using
 ittle analouge traps
 And by god we will eat anything
 - We use borderline toxic peppers to season our tood
 e We expose ourselves to patentaly lethal solar radiation in the
 our skin
 e We risk hearing loss for the opportunity to see our favonte
 + We have a game where two peopie get into an enciosed area
 and hit each other untl time tuns outione of them pass out
 We willingly lurip 0ut ot planes with only a firey piece of cloth
 to prevent us trom splatering against the ground
 Our response to natural disasters is to just rebuild our buidings
 in the exact same places
 We climb mountains and risk treezing to death for bragging
 rights
 We invented dogs We took our one time predators and
 completely domesticated them
 On a planet ful of lons, tigers and bears, we managed to
 advance further and faster than any other species on the
 planet
 e
 Kingons and Krogan and Orcs aint got sht on us
 can we taik about how pursut predation is fucking tenlying
 it's one thing to face down a cheetah, which wil siam into you at 60 mph
 and break your neck
 its another thing to run very quickly to get away from a thing, only to have
 it just kind of
 show up
 to have it be intelligent enough to fgure out where you are by the fur and
 feather youve left behind, your tootprints and piss and sht, and then you
 think you've lost .it and you bed down for the night but THERE IT IS
 WAITING
 WHEN YOU WAKE UP
 and you spiti againt but it keeps folowing you always in the comer of
 your eye until you just
 de
 ok
 cov
Sci-Fi, except humans are the scary cool aliens with unimaginable powers.
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                orcs: its tunny how science iction unverses s0
 oten treat humans as a boring defaut
 everyman species or even the weakest and
 I want to see a scit universe where we're
 actualy considered one of the mare hideous
 and territying species
 How do we know our saiva and skin ois
 wouidn't be utra-corrosive to most other
 races? What if we
 strongest vocal chords and can paralye or ka
 the
 screaming at them? what if most sentient lite in
 the universe turns out to be vegetable-like and
 ives in fear of us rare animat races who can
 move so quicly and chew shit up with our
 Like that old story theyre made of meat onty
 HOLY SHT THEY EAT CAPSACIN FOR FUN
 YOU GUYS IHEARD A HUMAN ONCE ATE AN
 A HUMAN CAN KEEP FIGHTING FOR HOURS EVEN
 humans are a proud warrior race weh a pantheon
 of bloody gods Ram-Bo, Schwarzenegger, etc
 REMOVING A LIMB WLL NOT FATALLY
 INCAPACITATE HUMANS ALWAYS DESTROY THE
 HEAD
 WARNING HUMANS CAN DETECT YOU EVEN AT
 NIGHT BY TRACKING VIBRATIONS THROUGH THE
 WARNING HUMANS CAN REPRODUCE AT A
 RATE OF 1 PER SPACEYEAR DESTROY
 INFESTATIONS IMMEDIATELY
 THE HUMAN MOUTH HAS OVER THIRTY
 OUTCROPS OF BONE AND POWERFUL JAW
 HUMAN BITES CAN BE FATALLY INFECTIOUS
 EVEN TO OTHER HUMANS
 WARNTIG HUMANS CAN AND WILL USE
 IMPROMSED WEAPONS SEE CLASSIFIED DATA
 HUMANS CAN PROJECT BIOWEAPONS FROM
 ALMOST EVERY ORIFICE ON THEIR BOOY 0O
 OH GOO THE HUMANS FIGURED OUT DOOR
 HANDLES OH GOD OH GO0
 More senously, humans do have a number of
 advantages even among Terrestrial life Our endurance
 shock resistance, and abiity to recover trom injury is
 absurdy high compared to amost any other animal we
 often use the phrase heathy as a horse to connote
 heartiness-but compared to a human, a horse is as
 fragie as spun glass There's mountng evidence that
 our primitive ancestors would hunt large prey simply by
 toiong逮at a walking pace. without sleep or rest un
 t ded of exhaustion, ts called pursuit predation
 The only other animal that can sort of keep up wth us?
 Dogs That's why we use them for hunting And even
 then it's only sort of)
 Now extrapolate that to a galaxy in which most sapient
 te did not evolive from hyper-speciaised pursut
 Our strength and speed is nothing to write home
 about, but we dont need to overpower or outrun
 you, we just need to ousast you- and by any
 other species standards, we just plain don t ge
 e Where a simple broken leg will cause most
 species to go into shock and die, we can recover
 from
 vitually any injury that's not
 atal Even traumatik dismemberment isnt
 necessarily a career-ending injury for a human
 We heal from injunes with edtreme rapioity
 recovenng in weeks trom wounds that would take
 others months or years to heal The resuits aren't
 pretty humans have hyperactive scar tissue.
 among our other suvival-onented trats-bu
 ook at our
 We developed surgery centuries before
 developing even the most
 anesthetics or life support. in extermis, humans
 have been known to perform surgery on
 themselves- and survive Thanks to our
 extreme heartiness we regard as routine medica
 procedures what most other species would regard
 as inventive forms of murder We even perform
 radical surgery on ourselves for purely cosmetic
 n essence, wed be Space Orcs
 I do hope you realize Im going to be picking up this stuft and
 Our jaus have too many TEETH in them, so we developed a way
 O WELD METAL TO OUR TEETH and FORCE THE BONES IN
 OUR JAVV to restructure over the course of years to fit them back
 into shape and then we continue to wear metail in out mouths to
 keep them in place
 We formed cohabitative relationships with tny mamma's and
 insects we keep at bay from botnening us by death, often using
 ittle analouge traps
 And by god we will eat anything
 - We use borderline toxic peppers to season our tood
 e We expose ourselves to patentaly lethal solar radiation in the
 our skin
 e We risk hearing loss for the opportunity to see our favonte
 + We have a game where two peopie get into an enciosed area
 and hit each other untl time tuns outione of them pass out
 We willingly lurip 0ut ot planes with only a firey piece of cloth
 to prevent us trom splatering against the ground
 Our response to natural disasters is to just rebuild our buidings
 in the exact same places
 We climb mountains and risk treezing to death for bragging
 rights
 We invented dogs We took our one time predators and
 completely domesticated them
 On a planet ful of lons, tigers and bears, we managed to
 advance further and faster than any other species on the
 planet
 e
 Kingons and Krogan and Orcs aint got sht on us
 can we taik about how pursut predation is fucking tenlying
 it's one thing to face down a cheetah, which wil siam into you at 60 mph
 and break your neck
 its another thing to run very quickly to get away from a thing, only to have
 it just kind of
 show up
 to have it be intelligent enough to fgure out where you are by the fur and
 feather youve left behind, your tootprints and piss and sht, and then you
 think you've lost .it and you bed down for the night but THERE IT IS
 WAITING
 WHEN YOU WAKE UP
 and you spiti againt but it keeps folowing you always in the comer of
 your eye until you just
 de
 ok
 cov
Sci-Fi, except humans are the scary cool aliens with unimaginable powers.
                
            

            
            
Sci-Fi, except humans are the scary cool aliens with unimaginable powers.

            
            
        

    



        

        
        

            







    orcs: its tunny how science iction unverses s0
 oten treat humans as a boring defaut
 everyman species or even the weakest and
 I want to see a scit universe where we're
 actualy considered one of the mare hideous
 and territying species
 How do we know our saiva and skin ois
 wouidn't be utra-corrosive to most other
 races? What if we
 strongest vocal chords and can paralye or ka
 the
 screaming at them? what if most sentient lite in
 the universe turns out to be vegetable-like and
 ives in fear of us rare animat races who can
 move so quicly and chew shit up with our
 Like that old story theyre made of meat onty
 HOLY SHT THEY EAT CAPSACIN FOR FUN
 YOU GUYS IHEARD A HUMAN ONCE ATE AN
 A HUMAN CAN KEEP FIGHTING FOR HOURS EVEN
 humans are a proud warrior race weh a pantheon
 of bloody gods Ram-Bo, Schwarzenegger, etc
 REMOVING A LIMB WLL NOT FATALLY
 INCAPACITATE HUMANS ALWAYS DESTROY THE
 HEAD
 WARNING HUMANS CAN DETECT YOU EVEN AT
 NIGHT BY TRACKING VIBRATIONS THROUGH THE
 WARNING HUMANS CAN REPRODUCE AT A
 RATE OF 1 PER SPACEYEAR DESTROY
 INFESTATIONS IMMEDIATELY
 THE HUMAN MOUTH HAS OVER THIRTY
 OUTCROPS OF BONE AND POWERFUL JAW
 HUMAN BITES CAN BE FATALLY INFECTIOUS
 EVEN TO OTHER HUMANS
 WARNTIG HUMANS CAN AND WILL USE
 IMPROMSED WEAPONS SEE CLASSIFIED DATA
 HUMANS CAN PROJECT BIOWEAPONS FROM
 ALMOST EVERY ORIFICE ON THEIR BOOY 0O
 OH GOO THE HUMANS FIGURED OUT DOOR
 HANDLES OH GOD OH GO0
 More senously, humans do have a number of
 advantages even among Terrestrial life Our endurance
 shock resistance, and abiity to recover trom injury is
 absurdy high compared to amost any other animal we
 often use the phrase heathy as a horse to connote
 heartiness-but compared to a human, a horse is as
 fragie as spun glass There's mountng evidence that
 our primitive ancestors would hunt large prey simply by
 toiong逮at a walking pace. without sleep or rest un
 t ded of exhaustion, ts called pursuit predation
 The only other animal that can sort of keep up wth us?
 Dogs That's why we use them for hunting And even
 then it's only sort of)
 Now extrapolate that to a galaxy in which most sapient
 te did not evolive from hyper-speciaised pursut
 Our strength and speed is nothing to write home
 about, but we dont need to overpower or outrun
 you, we just need to ousast you- and by any
 other species standards, we just plain don t ge
 e Where a simple broken leg will cause most
 species to go into shock and die, we can recover
 from
 vitually any injury that's not
 atal Even traumatik dismemberment isnt
 necessarily a career-ending injury for a human
 We heal from injunes with edtreme rapioity
 recovenng in weeks trom wounds that would take
 others months or years to heal The resuits aren't
 pretty humans have hyperactive scar tissue.
 among our other suvival-onented trats-bu
 ook at our
 We developed surgery centuries before
 developing even the most
 anesthetics or life support. in extermis, humans
 have been known to perform surgery on
 themselves- and survive Thanks to our
 extreme heartiness we regard as routine medica
 procedures what most other species would regard
 as inventive forms of murder We even perform
 radical surgery on ourselves for purely cosmetic
 n essence, wed be Space Orcs
 I do hope you realize Im going to be picking up this stuft and
 Our jaus have too many TEETH in them, so we developed a way
 O WELD METAL TO OUR TEETH and FORCE THE BONES IN
 OUR JAVV to restructure over the course of years to fit them back
 into shape and then we continue to wear metail in out mouths to
 keep them in place
 We formed cohabitative relationships with tny mamma's and
 insects we keep at bay from botnening us by death, often using
 ittle analouge traps
 And by god we will eat anything
 - We use borderline toxic peppers to season our tood
 e We expose ourselves to patentaly lethal solar radiation in the
 our skin
 e We risk hearing loss for the opportunity to see our favonte
 + We have a game where two peopie get into an enciosed area
 and hit each other untl time tuns outione of them pass out
 We willingly lurip 0ut ot planes with only a firey piece of cloth
 to prevent us trom splatering against the ground
 Our response to natural disasters is to just rebuild our buidings
 in the exact same places
 We climb mountains and risk treezing to death for bragging
 rights
 We invented dogs We took our one time predators and
 completely domesticated them
 On a planet ful of lons, tigers and bears, we managed to
 advance further and faster than any other species on the
 planet
 e
 Kingons and Krogan and Orcs aint got sht on us
 can we taik about how pursut predation is fucking tenlying
 it's one thing to face down a cheetah, which wil siam into you at 60 mph
 and break your neck
 its another thing to run very quickly to get away from a thing, only to have
 it just kind of
 show up
 to have it be intelligent enough to fgure out where you are by the fur and
 feather youve left behind, your tootprints and piss and sht, and then you
 think you've lost .it and you bed down for the night but THERE IT IS
 WAITING
 WHEN YOU WAKE UP
 and you spiti againt but it keeps folowing you always in the comer of
 your eye until you just
 de
 ok
 cov
Sci-Fi, except humans are the scary cool aliens with unimaginable powers.
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                orcs: its tunny how science iction unverses s0
 oten treat humans as a boring defaut
 everyman species or even the weakest and
 I want to see a scit universe where we're
 actualy considered one of the mare hideous
 and territying species
 How do we know our saiva and skin ois
 wouidn't be utra-corrosive to most other
 races? What if we
 strongest vocal chords and can paralye or ka
 the
 screaming at them? what if most sentient lite in
 the universe turns out to be vegetable-like and
 ives in fear of us rare animat races who can
 move so quicly and chew shit up with our
 Like that old story theyre made of meat onty
 HOLY SHT THEY EAT CAPSACIN FOR FUN
 YOU GUYS IHEARD A HUMAN ONCE ATE AN
 A HUMAN CAN KEEP FIGHTING FOR HOURS EVEN
 humans are a proud warrior race weh a pantheon
 of bloody gods Ram-Bo, Schwarzenegger, etc
 REMOVING A LIMB WLL NOT FATALLY
 INCAPACITATE HUMANS ALWAYS DESTROY THE
 HEAD
 WARNING HUMANS CAN DETECT YOU EVEN AT
 NIGHT BY TRACKING VIBRATIONS THROUGH THE
 WARNING HUMANS CAN REPRODUCE AT A
 RATE OF 1 PER SPACEYEAR DESTROY
 INFESTATIONS IMMEDIATELY
 THE HUMAN MOUTH HAS OVER THIRTY
 OUTCROPS OF BONE AND POWERFUL JAW
 HUMAN BITES CAN BE FATALLY INFECTIOUS
 EVEN TO OTHER HUMANS
 WARNTIG HUMANS CAN AND WILL USE
 IMPROMSED WEAPONS SEE CLASSIFIED DATA
 HUMANS CAN PROJECT BIOWEAPONS FROM
 ALMOST EVERY ORIFICE ON THEIR BOOY 0O
 OH GOO THE HUMANS FIGURED OUT DOOR
 HANDLES OH GOD OH GO0
 More senously, humans do have a number of
 advantages even among Terrestrial life Our endurance
 shock resistance, and abiity to recover trom injury is
 absurdy high compared to amost any other animal we
 often use the phrase heathy as a horse to connote
 heartiness-but compared to a human, a horse is as
 fragie as spun glass There's mountng evidence that
 our primitive ancestors would hunt large prey simply by
 toiong逮at a walking pace. without sleep or rest un
 t ded of exhaustion, ts called pursuit predation
 The only other animal that can sort of keep up wth us?
 Dogs That's why we use them for hunting And even
 then it's only sort of)
 Now extrapolate that to a galaxy in which most sapient
 te did not evolive from hyper-speciaised pursut
 Our strength and speed is nothing to write home
 about, but we dont need to overpower or outrun
 you, we just need to ousast you- and by any
 other species standards, we just plain don t ge
 e Where a simple broken leg will cause most
 species to go into shock and die, we can recover
 from
 vitually any injury that's not
 atal Even traumatik dismemberment isnt
 necessarily a career-ending injury for a human
 We heal from injunes with edtreme rapioity
 recovenng in weeks trom wounds that would take
 others months or years to heal The resuits aren't
 pretty humans have hyperactive scar tissue.
 among our other suvival-onented trats-bu
 ook at our
 We developed surgery centuries before
 developing even the most
 anesthetics or life support. in extermis, humans
 have been known to perform surgery on
 themselves- and survive Thanks to our
 extreme heartiness we regard as routine medica
 procedures what most other species would regard
 as inventive forms of murder We even perform
 radical surgery on ourselves for purely cosmetic
 n essence, wed be Space Orcs
 I do hope you realize Im going to be picking up this stuft and
 Our jaus have too many TEETH in them, so we developed a way
 O WELD METAL TO OUR TEETH and FORCE THE BONES IN
 OUR JAVV to restructure over the course of years to fit them back
 into shape and then we continue to wear metail in out mouths to
 keep them in place
 We formed cohabitative relationships with tny mamma's and
 insects we keep at bay from botnening us by death, often using
 ittle analouge traps
 And by god we will eat anything
 - We use borderline toxic peppers to season our tood
 e We expose ourselves to patentaly lethal solar radiation in the
 our skin
 e We risk hearing loss for the opportunity to see our favonte
 + We have a game where two peopie get into an enciosed area
 and hit each other untl time tuns outione of them pass out
 We willingly lurip 0ut ot planes with only a firey piece of cloth
 to prevent us trom splatering against the ground
 Our response to natural disasters is to just rebuild our buidings
 in the exact same places
 We climb mountains and risk treezing to death for bragging
 rights
 We invented dogs We took our one time predators and
 completely domesticated them
 On a planet ful of lons, tigers and bears, we managed to
 advance further and faster than any other species on the
 planet
 e
 Kingons and Krogan and Orcs aint got sht on us
 can we taik about how pursut predation is fucking tenlying
 it's one thing to face down a cheetah, which wil siam into you at 60 mph
 and break your neck
 its another thing to run very quickly to get away from a thing, only to have
 it just kind of
 show up
 to have it be intelligent enough to fgure out where you are by the fur and
 feather youve left behind, your tootprints and piss and sht, and then you
 think you've lost .it and you bed down for the night but THERE IT IS
 WAITING
 WHEN YOU WAKE UP
 and you spiti againt but it keeps folowing you always in the comer of
 your eye until you just
 de
 ok
 cov
Sci-Fi, except humans are the scary cool aliens with unimaginable powers.
                
            

            
            
Sci-Fi, except humans are the scary cool aliens with unimaginable powers.