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Origami: nae-design: Cutest autumn/winter leaf origami by Inori
Origami: nae-design:
Cutest autumn/winter leaf origami by Inori

nae-design: Cutest autumn/winter leaf origami by Inori

Origami: nothingbutamother: dynastylnoire: ladycedar: There are a number of students in my GCSE class that have behavioural issues and if they feel uncomfortable they can do anything from storm out of the classroom to throwing chairs and punching their tables. They’re great kids, they just dont always see the light at the end of the tunnel and when they are in stressful situations they dont know what to do other than lash out sometimes. They are 10 months away from their final exams and the pressure is being mounted on them in every aspect of their school lives. Last week one of the students saw me making little origami stars. Its something I do when I’m feeling anxious to help me focus on something else. He asked if I could show him how to make them. He had been clenching his fists all lesson, which I’ve noticed is a tell that he is struggling to retain composure. I gave him a strip of paper and talked it through with him. Soon half of the class were asking me to show them. They all picked it up really quickly. After about five minutes and about 8 stars later, the student sat back down and was in a much calmer and motivated mood for the rest of the lesson. Our next lesson I placed a box of paper strips on my desk and when I saw anyone getting worked up about their work I silently placed a strip in front of them and let them get on with it. The lesson after I was amazed to see that students would go up to the box of their own accord, pick up a few strips and head back to their desks to continue working after calming down. Yesterday I brought a large jar into the classroom and placed my anxiety stars in there. The boys put their strsss stars in there too. When they fill the jar I’m going to bring sweets into the lesson to celebrate them working hard and working through their problems in a positive manner. I know I’m not the teacher they deserve just yet but I feel like I’ve made a big breakthrough with them. art therapy is important. You are exactly the teacher they need. It’s a brilliant idea and im so glad it works for them.
Origami: nothingbutamother:
dynastylnoire:

ladycedar:

There are a number of students in my GCSE class that have behavioural issues and if they feel uncomfortable they can do anything from storm out of the classroom to throwing chairs and punching their tables. They’re great kids, they just dont always see the light at the end of the tunnel and when they are in stressful situations they dont know what to do other than lash out sometimes. They are 10 months away from their final exams and the pressure is being mounted on them in every aspect of their school lives.
Last week one of the students saw me making little origami stars. Its something I do when I’m feeling anxious to help me focus on something else. He asked if I could show him how to make them. He had been clenching his fists all lesson, which I’ve noticed is a tell that he is struggling to retain composure. I gave him a strip of paper and talked it through with him. Soon half of the class were asking me to show them. They all picked it up really quickly.
After about five minutes and about 8 stars later, the student sat back down and was in a much calmer and motivated mood for the rest of the lesson. Our next lesson I placed a box of paper strips on my desk and when I saw anyone getting worked up about their work I silently placed a strip in front of them and let them get on with it. The lesson after I was amazed to see that students would go up to the box of their own accord, pick up a few strips and head back to their desks to continue working after calming down.
Yesterday I brought a large jar into the classroom and placed my anxiety stars in there. The boys put their strsss stars in there too. When they fill the jar I’m going to bring sweets into the lesson to celebrate them working hard and working through their problems in a positive manner. I know I’m not the teacher they deserve just yet but I feel like I’ve made a big breakthrough with them.

art therapy is important.

You are exactly the teacher they need. It’s a brilliant idea and im so glad it works for them.

nothingbutamother: dynastylnoire: ladycedar: There are a number of students in my GCSE class that have behavioural issues and if they f...

Origami: nothingbutamother: dynastylnoire: ladycedar: There are a number of students in my GCSE class that have behavioural issues and if they feel uncomfortable they can do anything from storm out of the classroom to throwing chairs and punching their tables. They’re great kids, they just dont always see the light at the end of the tunnel and when they are in stressful situations they dont know what to do other than lash out sometimes. They are 10 months away from their final exams and the pressure is being mounted on them in every aspect of their school lives. Last week one of the students saw me making little origami stars. Its something I do when I’m feeling anxious to help me focus on something else. He asked if I could show him how to make them. He had been clenching his fists all lesson, which I’ve noticed is a tell that he is struggling to retain composure. I gave him a strip of paper and talked it through with him. Soon half of the class were asking me to show them. They all picked it up really quickly. After about five minutes and about 8 stars later, the student sat back down and was in a much calmer and motivated mood for the rest of the lesson. Our next lesson I placed a box of paper strips on my desk and when I saw anyone getting worked up about their work I silently placed a strip in front of them and let them get on with it. The lesson after I was amazed to see that students would go up to the box of their own accord, pick up a few strips and head back to their desks to continue working after calming down. Yesterday I brought a large jar into the classroom and placed my anxiety stars in there. The boys put their strsss stars in there too. When they fill the jar I’m going to bring sweets into the lesson to celebrate them working hard and working through their problems in a positive manner. I know I’m not the teacher they deserve just yet but I feel like I’ve made a big breakthrough with them. art therapy is important. You are exactly the teacher they need. It’s a brilliant idea and im so glad it works for them. This is seriously so wonderful. It’s easy to write certain kids off as “bad kids” but it’s important to remember that they’re kids. That kid who yells and cusses and throws chairs has absolute turmoil inside their little mind and has no idea how to deal with it. Instead of contributing to the madness, find a way to redirect the frustration. Teach them how to deal with stress in a healthy way. Children. Have. To. Be. Taught.
Origami: nothingbutamother:
dynastylnoire:

ladycedar:

There are a number of students in my GCSE class that have behavioural issues and if they feel uncomfortable they can do anything from storm out of the classroom to throwing chairs and punching their tables. They’re great kids, they just dont always see the light at the end of the tunnel and when they are in stressful situations they dont know what to do other than lash out sometimes. They are 10 months away from their final exams and the pressure is being mounted on them in every aspect of their school lives.
Last week one of the students saw me making little origami stars. Its something I do when I’m feeling anxious to help me focus on something else. He asked if I could show him how to make them. He had been clenching his fists all lesson, which I’ve noticed is a tell that he is struggling to retain composure. I gave him a strip of paper and talked it through with him. Soon half of the class were asking me to show them. They all picked it up really quickly.
After about five minutes and about 8 stars later, the student sat back down and was in a much calmer and motivated mood for the rest of the lesson. Our next lesson I placed a box of paper strips on my desk and when I saw anyone getting worked up about their work I silently placed a strip in front of them and let them get on with it. The lesson after I was amazed to see that students would go up to the box of their own accord, pick up a few strips and head back to their desks to continue working after calming down.
Yesterday I brought a large jar into the classroom and placed my anxiety stars in there. The boys put their strsss stars in there too. When they fill the jar I’m going to bring sweets into the lesson to celebrate them working hard and working through their problems in a positive manner. I know I’m not the teacher they deserve just yet but I feel like I’ve made a big breakthrough with them.

art therapy is important.

You are exactly the teacher they need. It’s a brilliant idea and im so glad it works for them.


This is seriously so wonderful. It’s easy to write certain kids off as “bad kids” but it’s important to remember that they’re kids. That kid who yells and cusses and throws chairs has absolute turmoil inside their little mind and has no idea how to deal with it. Instead of contributing to the madness, find a way to redirect the frustration. Teach them how to deal with stress in a healthy way. Children. Have. To. Be. Taught.

nothingbutamother: dynastylnoire: ladycedar: There are a number of students in my GCSE class that have behavioural issues and if they f...

Origami: TOM ANGLEBERGER STRANGE CASE OF ORiCAMİYODA shittymoviedetails: In Star Wars: The Last Jedi, a ghost dude named “Yoda,” appears. This is a reference to the classic novel, The Strange Case of Origami Yoda.
Origami: TOM ANGLEBERGER
 STRANGE CASE
 OF
 ORiCAMİYODA
shittymoviedetails:
In Star Wars: The Last Jedi, a ghost dude named “Yoda,” appears. This is a reference to the classic novel, The Strange Case of Origami Yoda.

shittymoviedetails: In Star Wars: The Last Jedi, a ghost dude named “Yoda,” appears. This is a reference to the classic novel, The Strang...

Origami: cute-aesthetics-things: Beautiful and Unique Fox Origami Necklace that matches any of your outfits! A lovely gift for your friends and family! = GET YOURS HERE =
Origami: cute-aesthetics-things:

Beautiful and Unique Fox Origami Necklace that matches any of your outfits! A lovely gift for your friends and family!
= GET YOURS HERE =

cute-aesthetics-things: Beautiful and Unique Fox Origami Necklace that matches any of your outfits! A lovely gift for your friends and f...

Origami: wait, you're jewish? i wanna die so bad right now -waaaaay too tall -blood is 3% soda -literally murders innocents and is still widely considered a "smol bean" -good relationship with their mom -hobbies range from making origami to plotting to blow up the moon -really their height is just unreasonable and very intimidating i heard you've been saying some shit grandparents live in korea -little ball of anger -uses napalm as moisturiser -no one is sure if they're actually racist or not thinks they can speak german -lists "kicking inanimate objects" as a hobby got sold fake cocaine once about me on your blog -damaged -iterally no one can bring themselves to like -communicates only in grunts -writes terrible fiction -goes out of their way to upset others -trying desperately to hide the gay (failing) -says shit like "adios" (doesn't speak spanish -leaves agressive voicemails -used to be emo -gets drunk and stabs inanimate objects -has an alien girlfriends and also 700 alter egos -is 103% sure that the world is out to get them way too many Ns little miss finland turns to camera in shock ADAM supreme gentleman -absolutely deplorable shoves an american flag up their ass most mornings takes selfies everywhere -everywhere i said loves their pets -finds depressive thinking arousing horrible handwriting tries. fails. -wants to be Wait, You're Jewish? but can't does rude shit but no one can stay -uses air quotes to patronise others -"feminism is stupid" -can't get laid -has probably had lip injections. and ego injections. "why do girls always go for douchebags" -wears sunglasses indoors. at night. in december. after the last star in the galaxy has burned out. mad at them -all gods are fictional except for themselfays gets asked for I.D. -makes fun of soccer moms but doesn't act hasn't taken a flattering photo in 7 -says weird shit 97% of the time -wears t-shirts with edgy slogans -has v few friends but the friendships they clasifies self as a "cool kid" will not get a haircut hasn't slept ever do have a frighteningly intense 56 brennan's burger bundies gets what they want because they are-worships satan -known as the zodiac killer -takes off their glasses and becomes ets morbid sense of humour that occasionally gets them in trouble wants to have you (over) for dinner behaves drunk while sober and also while drunk. -vastly overestimates their ability to get away with things -does absolutely nothing in a group project and no one gets mad -dog person -has brushed their teeth less than 7 times since birth probably borrowed their cheekbones off a meth addict -greasy grease on top of their grease jeffreysdrunk: luvoxxx: Okeeey so I don’t usually post stuff but a friend of mine asked me to make a true crime tag yourself and I thought tumblr might appreciate it. I have no idea why there’s like 400 typos in it I swear English is my first language wtf. Anyway it’s just a meme it’s not meant to be disrespectful or gross or anything please enjoy my completely unfunny sense of humour. (Also I blatantly stole the d a m a g e d thing from another tag yourself I apologise) I’m grandparents live in Korea and Dahmer lol Way too many Ns *turns to camera in shock* Adam
Origami: wait, you're jewish?
 i wanna die so bad right now
 -waaaaay too tall
 -blood is 3% soda
 -literally murders innocents and is still
 widely considered a "smol bean"
 -good relationship with their mom
 -hobbies range from making origami to
 plotting to blow up the moon
 -really their height is just unreasonable
 and very intimidating
 i heard you've been saying some shit
 grandparents live in korea
 -little ball of anger
 -uses napalm as moisturiser
 -no one is sure if they're actually
 racist or not
 thinks they can speak german
 -lists "kicking inanimate objects"
 as a hobby
 got sold fake cocaine once
 about me on your blog
 -damaged
 -iterally no one can bring themselves to like
 -communicates only in grunts
 -writes terrible fiction
 -goes out of their way to upset others
 -trying desperately to hide the gay (failing)
 -says shit like "adios" (doesn't speak spanish
 -leaves agressive voicemails
 -used to be emo
 -gets drunk and stabs inanimate objects
 -has an alien girlfriends and also 700 alter egos
 -is 103% sure that the world is out to get them
 way too many Ns
 little miss finland
 turns to camera in shock ADAM
 supreme gentleman
 -absolutely deplorable
 shoves an american flag up their ass
 most mornings
 takes selfies everywhere
 -everywhere i said
 loves their pets
 -finds depressive thinking arousing
 horrible handwriting
 tries. fails.
 -wants to be Wait, You're Jewish? but can't does rude shit but no one can stay
 -uses air quotes to patronise others
 -"feminism is stupid"
 -can't get laid
 -has probably had lip injections. and ego
 injections.
 "why do girls always go for douchebags"
 -wears sunglasses indoors. at night. in
 december. after the last star in the galaxy
 has burned out.
 mad at them
 -all gods are fictional except for themselfays gets asked for I.D.
 -makes fun of soccer moms but doesn't act hasn't taken a flattering photo in 7
 -says weird shit 97% of the time
 -wears t-shirts with edgy slogans
 -has v few friends but the friendships they clasifies self as a "cool kid"
 will not get a haircut
 hasn't slept ever
 do have a frighteningly intense
 56
 brennan's burger bundies
 gets what they want because they are-worships satan
 -known as the zodiac killer
 -takes off their glasses and becomes
 ets
 morbid sense of humour that
 occasionally gets them in trouble
 wants to have you (over) for dinner
 behaves drunk while sober and also
 while drunk.
 -vastly overestimates their ability to get
 away with things
 -does absolutely nothing in a group
 project and no one gets mad
 -dog person
 -has brushed their teeth less than 7
 times since birth
 probably borrowed their cheekbones
 off a meth addict
 -greasy grease on top of their grease
jeffreysdrunk:

luvoxxx:

Okeeey so I don’t usually post stuff but a friend of mine asked me to make a true crime tag yourself and I thought tumblr might appreciate it. I have no idea why there’s like 400 typos in it I swear English is my first language wtf. Anyway it’s just a meme it’s not meant to be disrespectful or gross or anything please enjoy my completely unfunny sense of humour. (Also I blatantly stole the  d a m a g e d  thing from another tag yourself I apologise)

I’m grandparents live in Korea and Dahmer lol

Way too many Ns *turns to camera in shock* Adam

jeffreysdrunk: luvoxxx: Okeeey so I don’t usually post stuff but a friend of mine asked me to make a true crime tag yourself and I thou...

Origami: Whenever I go to parties at big fancy houses, I origami the TP so other guests are like Are you f-ing kidding me?
Origami: Whenever I go to parties at big fancy houses, I origami the TP so other guests are like Are you f-ing kidding me?

Whenever I go to parties at big fancy houses, I origami the TP so other guests are like Are you f-ing kidding me?

Origami: cute-aesthetics-things: Beautiful and Unique Fox Origami Necklace that matches any of your outfits! A lovely gift for your friends and family!= GET YOURS HERE =
Origami: cute-aesthetics-things:

Beautiful and Unique Fox Origami Necklace that matches any of your outfits! A lovely gift for your friends and family!= GET YOURS HERE =

cute-aesthetics-things: Beautiful and Unique Fox Origami Necklace that matches any of your outfits! A lovely gift for your friends and f...

Origami: everydaylouie: ORIGAMI STEVE and CURSING JERRY (mbmbam animation)
Origami: everydaylouie:
ORIGAMI STEVE and CURSING JERRY (mbmbam animation)

everydaylouie: ORIGAMI STEVE and CURSING JERRY (mbmbam animation)

Origami: Older gentleman teaching young man origami with dollar
Origami: Older gentleman teaching young man origami with dollar

Older gentleman teaching young man origami with dollar

Origami: Older gentleman teaching young man origami with dollar
Origami: Older gentleman teaching young man origami with dollar

Older gentleman teaching young man origami with dollar

Origami: Older gentleman teaching young man origami with dollar via /r/wholesomememes https://ift.tt/2OXQdcf
Origami: Older gentleman teaching young man origami with dollar via /r/wholesomememes https://ift.tt/2OXQdcf

Older gentleman teaching young man origami with dollar via /r/wholesomememes https://ift.tt/2OXQdcf

Origami: kim-quim: Cardverse Hungary in traditional origami paper #fanart #APH:hungary (Taken with Instagram)
Origami: kim-quim:

Cardverse Hungary in traditional origami paper #fanart #APH:hungary (Taken with Instagram)

kim-quim: Cardverse Hungary in traditional origami paper #fanart #APH:hungary (Taken with Instagram)

Origami: Dear Guy Who Just Made My ntruding Have you ever been to earth? On earth, we use the word "burrito" to describe a tortilla filled with things you eat. Pretty simple stuff, and I'm surprised you at least got that part right. My burrito was, in fact filled with food. In this, you and I agree and are friends. But this is also where my lifelong hatred begins for you and anyone else whose brain has been repeatedly scrubbed with the same mixture of bleach and Pop Rocks as yours has. Because that should have killed you, but left you around long enough to do what you did to me today. Let me explain: Let me further explain: Burritos are eaten from one end to the other So that means when you assemble a burrito with motherfucking ZONES of ingredient:s going that direction, you create a disgusting experience for the burrito's end user. Whern you make a burrito, you should put the ingredi- ents in layerslengthwise. That way, every bite has AT LEAST A FUCKING CHANCE of getting at least two types of ingredients, and there is trapped in a goddamned cilantro cavern. Have you ever eaten one of the things you make all fucking day? You should try one They are pretty good WHEN YOU ARE NOT WILLING YOURSELF THROUGH THE FUCKING EMPIRE OF SOUR CREAM ONLY TO END UP IN LETTUCE COUNTRY When you eat a burrito, you don't stand it up and bite down on it lengthwise like a fucking Rancor. Humans can't usually dislocate their jaws, and I'm not a fucking pelican. But you must think that's how it's done, since that would be THE ONLY FUCKING WAY to take a bite of your crapstrosity and have it taste like And guess what else, player? You probably can't guess anything, because I'm pretty sure you're just a mop with a hat on it that fell over and spilled some shit into a tortilla, but just in case, here's what: Humans also don't eat burritos like fucking corn on the cob. Like a fucking typewriter from one end to the other a little at a time and then DING next line. But today I wish I had tried that, Because at least THEN would be able to eat some rice, then beans, then be all like HEY BEANS I'LL BE RIGHT BACK JUST GOING OVER HERE TO THE GUACAMOLE FOR Nope My experience was more like HEY BEANS ITS JUST GOING TO BE YOU AND IFOR A MINUTE UNTILI CAN FUCKING EXCAVATE THE RICE FROM BENEATH YOU BUT BY THEN YOU WILL BE A FADING MEMORY OH HEY I WAS WRONG I'M IN THE FUCKING CHEESEOSPHERE NOW RICE MUST BE NEXT I HOPE IT'S NOT ANOTHER FUCKING SALSA POCKET You built this thing like a fucking pack of And don't even fucking think I'm about to open this shit up and re engineer your nonsense 90 degrees. IALREADY PUT A HOLE IN IT WITH MY FUCKING MOUTH. YEAH. THATS HOWI DISCOVERED YOU FUCKING SUCK AT LOOK ING AT THINGS. I AM NOT GOING TO DO FUCKING TORTILLA ORIGAMI TO GET THIS SHIT BACK TOGETHER, ONLY TO END UP WITH A BURRITO THAT'S BEEN SHOT IN THE GUT AND IS BLEEDING YOUR INEPTITUDE What's that? should ask you to mix it up first next time? IS THIS JAMBA JUICE? I DONT WANT TO DRINK MY FUCKING BURRITO THROUGH A BENDY STRAW, AND I DON'T WANT A PILE OF BURRITO SOUP IN A FLOUR You're the worst thing that has ever happened to the universe, you owe everyone everywhere an apology for this burritobomination, and I hope your babies look like monkeys. UPDATE FOR EVERYONE WHO SAID JUST EAT IT WITH A FORK IDIDN'T ORDER THE FUCKING COBBURRITO SALAD If anyone ever handed me a burrito with a fork, THEY WOULD BE WEARING A BRAND NEWW BURRITO HAT FROM MY FALL COLLECTION TEN SECONDS LATER That's like buying a car and having them hand you a fucking wrench with the keys. Like YEAH WE KNOW THIS MOTHERFUCKER'S GOING TO EXPLODE AND BE SPREAD ACROSS EIGHT LANES AS SOON AS YOU HIT THE GAS, BUT SHIT, WE GAVE YOUA WRENCH, SO BE COOL Jesus already gave me two burrito forks. One at the end of each arm. They're caⅡed fucking A fork. My god.I haven't cried sinceI was six, now People eat burritos with forks? God is sorry he made us. The absolute worst way to make a burrito
Origami: Dear Guy Who Just Made My
 ntruding
 Have you ever been to earth?
 On earth, we use the word "burrito" to describe
 a tortilla filled with things you eat. Pretty
 simple stuff, and I'm surprised you at least
 got that part right. My burrito was, in fact
 filled with food. In this, you and I agree and
 are friends. But this is also where my lifelong
 hatred begins for you and anyone else whose
 brain has been repeatedly scrubbed with the
 same mixture of bleach and Pop Rocks as
 yours has. Because that should have killed
 you, but left you around long enough to do
 what you did to me today. Let me explain:
 Let me further explain:
 Burritos are eaten from one end to the other
 So that means when you assemble a burrito
 with motherfucking ZONES of ingredient:s
 going that direction, you create a disgusting
 experience for the burrito's end user. Whern
 you make a burrito, you should put the ingredi-
 ents in layerslengthwise. That way, every bite
 has AT LEAST A FUCKING CHANCE of getting
 at least two types of ingredients, and there is
 trapped in a goddamned cilantro cavern.
 Have you ever eaten one of the things you
 make all fucking day? You should try one
 They are pretty good WHEN YOU ARE NOT
 WILLING YOURSELF THROUGH THE FUCKING
 EMPIRE OF SOUR CREAM ONLY TO END UP
 IN LETTUCE COUNTRY
 When you eat a burrito, you don't stand it up
 and bite down on it lengthwise like a fucking
 Rancor. Humans can't usually dislocate their
 jaws, and I'm not a fucking pelican. But you
 must think that's how it's done, since that
 would be THE ONLY FUCKING WAY to take a
 bite of your crapstrosity and have it taste like
 And guess what else, player? You probably
 can't guess anything, because I'm pretty sure
 you're just a mop with a hat on it that fell over
 and spilled some shit into a tortilla, but just in
 case, here's what:
 Humans also don't eat burritos like fucking
 corn on the cob. Like a fucking typewriter
 from one end to the other a little at a time and
 then DING next line. But today I wish I had
 tried that, Because at least THEN would be
 able to eat some rice, then beans, then be all
 like HEY BEANS I'LL BE RIGHT BACK JUST
 GOING OVER HERE TO THE GUACAMOLE FOR
 Nope
 My experience was more like HEY BEANS
 ITS JUST GOING TO BE YOU AND IFOR A
 MINUTE UNTILI CAN FUCKING EXCAVATE
 THE RICE FROM BENEATH YOU BUT BY
 THEN YOU WILL BE A FADING MEMORY OH
 HEY I WAS WRONG I'M IN THE FUCKING
 CHEESEOSPHERE NOW RICE MUST BE NEXT
 I HOPE IT'S NOT ANOTHER FUCKING SALSA
 POCKET
 You built this thing like a fucking pack of
 And don't even fucking think I'm about to open
 this shit up and re engineer your nonsense 90
 degrees. IALREADY PUT A HOLE IN IT WITH
 MY FUCKING MOUTH. YEAH. THATS HOWI
 DISCOVERED YOU FUCKING SUCK AT LOOK
 ING AT THINGS. I AM NOT GOING TO DO
 FUCKING TORTILLA ORIGAMI TO GET THIS
 SHIT BACK TOGETHER, ONLY TO END UP
 WITH A BURRITO THAT'S BEEN SHOT IN THE
 GUT AND IS BLEEDING YOUR INEPTITUDE
 What's that? should ask you to mix it up first
 next time? IS THIS JAMBA JUICE? I DONT
 WANT TO DRINK MY FUCKING BURRITO
 THROUGH A BENDY STRAW, AND I DON'T
 WANT A PILE OF BURRITO SOUP IN A FLOUR
 You're the worst thing that has ever happened
 to the universe, you owe everyone everywhere
 an apology for this burritobomination, and I
 hope your babies look like monkeys.
 UPDATE FOR EVERYONE WHO SAID JUST
 EAT IT WITH A FORK
 IDIDN'T ORDER THE FUCKING COBBURRITO
 SALAD
 If anyone ever handed me a burrito with a fork,
 THEY WOULD BE WEARING A BRAND NEWW
 BURRITO HAT FROM MY FALL COLLECTION
 TEN SECONDS LATER
 That's like buying a car and having them hand
 you a fucking wrench with the keys. Like
 YEAH WE KNOW THIS MOTHERFUCKER'S
 GOING TO EXPLODE AND BE SPREAD
 ACROSS EIGHT LANES AS SOON AS YOU
 HIT THE GAS, BUT SHIT, WE GAVE YOUA
 WRENCH, SO BE COOL
 Jesus already gave me two burrito forks. One
 at the end of each arm. They're caⅡed fucking
 A fork. My god.I haven't cried sinceI was six,
 now
 People eat burritos with forks?
 God is sorry he made us.
The absolute worst way to make a burrito

The absolute worst way to make a burrito

Origami: CT Dear Guy Who Just Made On Earth, we use the word "burrito" to de- scribe a tortilla filled with things you eat Pretty simple stuff, and I'm surprised you at least got that part right. My burrito was, in fact, filled with food. In this, you and I agree and are friends. But this is also where my lifelong hatred begins for you and anyone else whose brain has been re- of bleach and Pop Rocks as yours has. Be- cause that should have killed you, but left you around long enough to do what you Burritos are eaten from one end to the other. So that means when you assemble a end user. When you make a burrito, you should put the ingredients in layers length- wise. That way, every bite has AT LEAST A FUCKING CHANCE of geting at least two types of ingredients, and there is little Have you ever eaten one of the things you make all fucking day? You should try one. They are pretty good WHEN YOU ARE ONLY TO END UP IN LETTUCE COUNTRY. When you eat a burrito, you don't stand it up and bite down on it lengthnwise bke a fucking Rancor. Humans can't usually dis- ocate their jaws, and I'm not a facking pelican. But you must think that's how it's done, since that would be THE ONLY FUCKING WAY to take a bite of your crap- strosity and have it taste like a burrito And guess what else, player? You probably can't guess aroything, because I'm pretty sure you're just a mop with a bat on it that tilla, but just in case, here's what: Humans also dont eat burritos like fuck ing corn on the cob. Lake a fucking type writer from one end to the other a little at a time and then DING next line. But today I wish 1 had tried that. Because at least THEN I would be able to eat some rice, then beans, then be all like HEY BEANS LL BE RIGHT BACK JUST GOING OVER HERE TO THE GUACAMOLE FOR A SEC My experience was more like HEY BEANS ITS JUST GOING TO BE YOU AND ME FOR A FEW MINUTES UNTIL CAN NEATH YOU BUT BY THEN YOU WILL BE A FADING MEMORY OH HEY I WAS NEXT I HOPE ITS NOT ANOTHER FUCK You built this thing like a fucking pack of And don't even fucking think Im abour to open this shit up and re-engineer your nonsense go degrees.I ALREADY PUT A HOLE IN IT WITH MY FUCKING MOUTH FUCKING SUCK AT LOOKING AT THINGS I AM NOT, GOING TO DO FUCKING TOR- TILIA ORIGAMI TO GET THIS SHIT BACK TOGETHER, ONLY TO END UP WITHA BURRITO THATS BEEN SHOT IN THE GUT AND IS BLEFDING YOUR INEPTI Whar's that?I should ask you to mix it up first next time? IS THIS JAMBA JUICE? DONT WANT TO DRINK MY FUCKING AND I DONT WANT A PILE OF BURRITO You're the worst thing that has ever hap- pened to the universe, you owe everyone bomination, and I hope your babies look Did you lake this post? Imade something dse I DIDNT ORDER THE FUCKING COBBUR BRAND NEW BURRITO HAT FROM MY That's like buying a car and hand you a fucking wrench with the keys FUCKER'S GOING TO EXPLODE AND BE SPREAD ACROSS EIGHT LANES AS SOON AS YOU HIT THE GAS, BUT SHIT, WE GAVE YOU A WRENCH, SO BE COOL Jesus already gave me two burrito forks. One at the end of each arm. They're called A fork. My god. I haven't cried since I was We can all stand behind this dude’s angry burrito rant
Origami: CT
 Dear Guy Who Just Made
 On Earth, we use the word "burrito" to de-
 scribe a tortilla filled with things you eat
 Pretty simple stuff, and I'm surprised you
 at least got that part right. My burrito was,
 in fact, filled with food. In this, you and I
 agree and are friends. But this is also
 where my lifelong hatred begins for you
 and anyone else whose brain has been re-
 of bleach and Pop Rocks as yours has. Be-
 cause that should have killed you, but left
 you around long enough to do what you
 Burritos are eaten from one end to the
 other. So that means when you assemble a
 end user. When you make a burrito, you
 should put the ingredients in layers length-
 wise. That way, every bite has AT LEAST A
 FUCKING CHANCE of geting at least two
 types of ingredients, and there is little
 Have you ever eaten one of the things you
 make all fucking day? You should try one.
 They are pretty good WHEN YOU ARE
 ONLY TO END UP IN LETTUCE COUNTRY.
 When you eat a burrito, you don't stand it
 up and bite down on it lengthnwise bke a
 fucking Rancor. Humans can't usually dis-
 ocate their jaws, and I'm not a facking
 pelican. But you must think that's how it's
 done, since that would be THE ONLY
 FUCKING WAY to take a bite of your crap-
 strosity and have it taste like a burrito
 And guess what else, player? You probably
 can't guess aroything, because I'm pretty
 sure you're just a mop with a bat on it that
 tilla, but just in case, here's what:
 Humans also dont eat burritos like fuck
 ing corn on the cob. Lake a fucking type
 writer from one end to the other a little at
 a time and then DING next line. But today
 I wish 1 had tried that. Because at least
 THEN I would be able to eat some rice,
 then beans, then be all like HEY BEANS
 LL BE RIGHT BACK JUST GOING OVER
 HERE TO THE GUACAMOLE FOR A SEC
 My experience was more like HEY BEANS
 ITS JUST GOING TO BE YOU AND ME
 FOR A FEW MINUTES UNTIL CAN
 NEATH YOU BUT BY THEN YOU WILL BE
 A FADING MEMORY OH HEY I WAS
 NEXT I HOPE ITS NOT ANOTHER FUCK
 You built this thing like a fucking pack of
 And don't even fucking think Im abour to
 open this shit up and re-engineer your
 nonsense go degrees.I ALREADY PUT A
 HOLE IN IT WITH MY FUCKING MOUTH
 FUCKING SUCK AT LOOKING AT THINGS
 I AM NOT, GOING TO DO FUCKING TOR-
 TILIA ORIGAMI TO GET THIS SHIT BACK
 TOGETHER, ONLY TO END UP WITHA
 BURRITO THATS BEEN SHOT IN THE
 GUT AND IS BLEFDING YOUR INEPTI
 Whar's that?I should ask you to mix it up
 first next time? IS THIS JAMBA JUICE?
 DONT WANT TO DRINK MY FUCKING
 AND I DONT WANT A PILE OF BURRITO
 You're the worst thing that has ever hap-
 pened to the universe, you owe everyone
 bomination, and I hope your babies look
 Did you lake this post? Imade something dse
 I DIDNT ORDER THE FUCKING COBBUR
 BRAND NEW BURRITO HAT FROM MY
 That's like buying a car and
 hand you a fucking wrench with the keys
 FUCKER'S GOING TO EXPLODE AND BE
 SPREAD ACROSS EIGHT LANES AS SOON
 AS YOU HIT THE GAS, BUT SHIT, WE
 GAVE YOU A WRENCH, SO BE COOL
 Jesus already gave me two burrito forks.
 One at the end of each arm. They're called
 A fork. My god. I haven't cried since I was
We can all stand behind this dude’s angry burrito rant

We can all stand behind this dude’s angry burrito rant

Origami: BEANS MOLE J MEAT CHBESE RKE CILAVIZO SALsA Dear Guy Who Just Made My Burrito: Lucky Shirt in Comedy Corner abookandacoffee: its-rowark: misanthrobot: rowan-oak-o-flow: delgt: xopachi: skwinky: lntruding: Have you ever been to earth? On earth, we use the word “burrito” to describe a tortilla filled with things you eat. Pretty simple stuff, and I’m surprised you at least got that part right. My burrito was, in fact, filled with food. In this, you and I agree and are friends. But this is also where my lifelong hatred begins for you and anyone else whose brain has been repeatedly scrubbed with the same mixture of bleach and Pop Rocks as yours has. Because that should have killed you, but left you around long enough to do what you did to me today. Let me explain: You’re an idiot. Let me further explain: Burritos are eaten from one end to the other. So that means when you assemble a burrito with motherfucking ZONES of ingredients going that direction, you create a disgusting experience for the burrito’s end user. When you make a burrito, you should put the ingredients in layerslengthwise. That way, every bite has AT LEAST A FUCKING CHANCE of getting at least two types of ingredients, and there is little chance of becoming almost hopelessly trapped in a goddamned cilantro cavern. Have you ever eaten one of the things you make all fucking day? You should try one. They are pretty good WHEN YOU ARE NOT WILLING YOURSELF THROUGH THE FUCKING EMPIRE OF SOUR CREAM ONLY TO END UP IN LETTUCE COUNTRY. When you eat a burrito, you don’t stand it up and bite down on it lengthwise like a fucking Rancor. Humans can’t usually dislocate their jaws, and I’m not a fucking pelican. But you must think that’s how it’s done, since that would be THE ONLY FUCKING WAY to take a bite of your crapstrosity and have it taste like a burrito. And guess what else, player? You probably can’t guess anything, because I’m pretty sure you’re just a mop with a hat on it that fell over and spilled some shit into a tortilla, but just in case, here’s what: Humans also don’t eat burritos like fucking corn on the cob. Like a fucking typewriter from one end to the other a little at a time and then DING next line. But today I wish I had tried that. Because at least THEN I would be able to eat some rice, then beans, then be all like HEY BEANS I’LL BE RIGHT BACK JUST GOING OVER HERE TO THE GUACAMOLE FOR A SECOND. Nope. My experience was more like HEY BEANS IT’S JUST GOING TO BE YOU AND I FOR A MINUTE UNTIL I CAN FUCKING EXCAVATE THE RICE FROM BENEATH YOU BUT BY THEN YOU WILL BE A FADING MEMORY OH HEY I WAS WRONG I’M IN THE FUCKING CHEESEOSPHERE NOW RICE MUST BE NEXT I HOPE IT’S NOT ANOTHER FUCKING SALSA POCKET. You built this thing like a fucking pack of LifeSavers. And don’t even fucking think I’m about to open this shit up and re-engineer your nonsense 90 degrees. I ALREADY PUT A HOLE IN IT WITH MY FUCKING MOUTH. YEAH. THAT’S HOW I DISCOVERED YOU FUCKING SUCK AT LOOKING AT THINGS. I AM NOT GOING TO DO FUCKING TORTILLA ORIGAMI TO GET THIS SHIT BACK TOGETHER, ONLY TO END UP WITH A BURRITO THAT’S BEEN SHOT IN THE GUT AND IS BLEEDING YOUR INEPTITUDE. What’s that? I should ask you to mix it up first next time? IS THIS JAMBA JUICE? I DON’T WANT TO DRINK MY FUCKING BURRITO THROUGH A BENDY STRAW, AND I DON’T WANT A PILE OF BURRITO SOUP IN A FLOUR CAN. I just want a burrito. In conclusion: You’re the worst thing that has ever happened to the universe, you owe everyone everywhere an apology for this burritobomination, and I hope your babies look like monkeys. UPDATE FOR EVERYONE WHO SAID “JUST EAT IT WITH A FORK”: A fucking fork? I DIDN’T ORDER THE FUCKING COBBURRITO SALAD. If anyone ever handed me a burrito with a fork, THEY WOULD BE WEARING A BRAND NEW BURRITO HAT FROM MY FALL COLLECTION TEN SECONDS LATER. That’s like buying a car and having them hand you a fucking wrench with the keys. Like YEAH WE KNOW THIS MOTHERFUCKER’S GOING TO EXPLODE AND BE SPREAD ACROSS EIGHT LANES AS SOON AS YOU HIT THE GAS, BUT SHIT, WE GAVE YOU A WRENCH, SO BE COOL. Jesus already gave me two burrito forks. One at the end of each arm. They’re called fucking HANDS. A fork. My god. I haven’t cried since I was six, but I’m fucking sobbing now. People eat burritos with forks? God is sorry he made us. (Source) I always need this on my blog. I can’t be laughing this hard in the morning.  Yes @kirkfuffle MY FAVORITE FUCKING POST IS BACK. Finally! I wanted to show this to my brother and I’ve been waiting over a year for it to come back! A fucking pack of lifesavers
Origami: BEANS
 MOLE J MEAT
 CHBESE
 RKE
 CILAVIZO SALsA
 Dear Guy Who Just Made My
 Burrito:
 Lucky Shirt in Comedy Corner
abookandacoffee:
its-rowark:

misanthrobot:

rowan-oak-o-flow:

delgt:

xopachi:

skwinky:

lntruding:


Have you ever been to earth?
On earth, we use the word “burrito” to describe a tortilla filled with things you eat. Pretty simple stuff, and I’m surprised you at least got that part right. My burrito was, in fact, filled with food. In this, you and I agree and are friends. But this is also where my lifelong hatred begins for you and anyone else whose brain has been repeatedly scrubbed with the same mixture of bleach and Pop Rocks as yours has. Because that should have killed you, but left you around long enough to do what you did to me today. Let me explain:
You’re an idiot.
Let me further explain:
Burritos are eaten from one end to the other. So that means when you assemble a burrito with motherfucking ZONES of ingredients going that direction, you create a disgusting experience for the burrito’s end user. When you make a burrito, you should put the ingredients in layerslengthwise. That way, every bite has AT LEAST A FUCKING CHANCE of getting at least two types of ingredients, and there is little chance of becoming almost hopelessly trapped in a goddamned cilantro cavern.
Have you ever eaten one of the things you make all fucking day? You should try one. They are pretty good WHEN YOU ARE NOT WILLING YOURSELF THROUGH THE FUCKING EMPIRE OF SOUR CREAM ONLY TO END UP IN LETTUCE COUNTRY.
When you eat a burrito, you don’t stand it up and bite down on it lengthwise like a fucking Rancor. Humans can’t usually dislocate their jaws, and I’m not a fucking pelican. But you must think that’s how it’s done, since that would be THE ONLY FUCKING WAY to take a bite of your crapstrosity and have it taste like a burrito.
And guess what else, player? You probably can’t guess anything, because I’m pretty sure you’re just a mop with a hat on it that fell over and spilled some shit into a tortilla, but just in case, here’s what:
Humans also don’t eat burritos like fucking corn on the cob. Like a fucking typewriter from one end to the other a little at a time and then DING next line. But today I wish I had tried that. Because at least THEN I would be able to eat some rice, then beans, then be all like HEY BEANS I’LL BE RIGHT BACK JUST GOING OVER HERE TO THE GUACAMOLE FOR A SECOND.
Nope.
My experience was more like HEY BEANS IT’S JUST GOING TO BE YOU AND I FOR A MINUTE UNTIL I CAN FUCKING EXCAVATE THE RICE FROM BENEATH YOU BUT BY THEN YOU WILL BE A FADING MEMORY OH HEY I WAS WRONG I’M IN THE FUCKING CHEESEOSPHERE NOW RICE MUST BE NEXT I HOPE IT’S NOT ANOTHER FUCKING SALSA POCKET.
You built this thing like a fucking pack of LifeSavers.
And don’t even fucking think I’m about to open this shit up and re-engineer your nonsense 90 degrees. I ALREADY PUT A HOLE IN IT WITH MY FUCKING MOUTH. YEAH. THAT’S HOW I DISCOVERED YOU FUCKING SUCK AT LOOKING AT THINGS. I AM NOT GOING TO DO FUCKING TORTILLA ORIGAMI TO GET THIS SHIT BACK TOGETHER, ONLY TO END UP WITH A BURRITO THAT’S BEEN SHOT IN THE GUT AND IS BLEEDING YOUR INEPTITUDE.
What’s that? I should ask you to mix it up first next time? IS THIS JAMBA JUICE? I DON’T WANT TO DRINK MY FUCKING BURRITO THROUGH A BENDY STRAW, AND I DON’T WANT A PILE OF BURRITO SOUP IN A FLOUR CAN.
I just want a burrito.
In conclusion:
You’re the worst thing that has ever happened to the universe, you owe everyone everywhere an apology for this burritobomination, and I hope your babies look like monkeys.



UPDATE FOR EVERYONE WHO SAID “JUST EAT IT WITH A FORK”:
A fucking fork?
I DIDN’T ORDER THE FUCKING COBBURRITO SALAD.
If anyone ever handed me a burrito with a fork, THEY WOULD BE WEARING A BRAND NEW BURRITO HAT FROM MY FALL COLLECTION TEN SECONDS LATER.
That’s like buying a car and having them hand you a fucking wrench with the keys. Like YEAH WE KNOW THIS MOTHERFUCKER’S GOING TO EXPLODE AND BE SPREAD ACROSS EIGHT LANES AS SOON AS YOU HIT THE GAS, BUT SHIT, WE GAVE YOU A WRENCH, SO BE COOL.
Jesus already gave me two burrito forks. One at the end of each arm. They’re called fucking HANDS.
A fork. My god. I haven’t cried since I was six, but I’m fucking sobbing now.
People eat burritos with forks?
God is sorry he made us.
(Source)


I always need this on my blog.

I can’t be laughing this hard in the morning. 

Yes

@kirkfuffle

MY FAVORITE FUCKING POST IS BACK.


Finally! I wanted to show this to my brother and I’ve been waiting over a year for it to come back!


A fucking pack of lifesavers

abookandacoffee: its-rowark: misanthrobot: rowan-oak-o-flow: delgt: xopachi: skwinky: lntruding: Have you ever been to earth? On...

Origami: A coworker and I had a smallest origami bird contest. I think I won.
Origami: A coworker and I had a smallest origami bird contest. I think I won.

A coworker and I had a smallest origami bird contest. I think I won.

Origami: nilesymon i wonder if magic is real, but only in a really mundane way. when i was little i could almost inerringly switch back to disney channel right as the ads ended when i was channel surfing maybe youve never accidentally crushed a ladybug underfoot. maybe your microwave popcorn never burns maybe you can spin around lots and lots of times before you get dizzy. is that magic?? honestly im not sure if these are magic or just small, invisible skills. im not sure which i like better My ankles never twist. I've always been rather active, I did track for five years (all the running events), and one time while running I stepped in a hole, lost my shoe, and landed sprawling about five feet away. I pulled my shoe on and kept running I have a coworker who somehow makes better coffee than everyone else even though the grounds come pre-measured and all you have to do is load them up and push a button. I have a friend who has inch long nails that never break. My brother can copy origami just by looking at the finished product and my mother can do the same with knots. I knew a guy who never made an error when typing Maybe we all have little magics, the kind that you don't realize you have. Just tiny things that make your life slightly better but are completely unnoticed on the outside. this is the cutest post i have ever read... Nooo I've actually shared this theory before. Like my Dad is really lucky finding parking spaces. And I've never cracked my phone even though I drop it on the time and have an average case. Like what if everybody gets one trivial part of their life that they're illogically lucky at? Non-stop fun at FUNsubstance.com Magic
Origami: nilesymon
 i wonder if magic is real, but only in a
 really mundane way.
 when i was little i could almost
 inerringly switch back to disney
 channel right as the ads ended when
 i was channel surfing
 maybe youve never accidentally
 crushed a ladybug underfoot. maybe
 your microwave popcorn never burns
 maybe you can spin around lots and
 lots of times before you get dizzy.
 is that magic??
 honestly im not sure if these are
 magic or just small, invisible skills. im
 not sure which i like better
 My ankles never twist. I've always been
 rather active, I did track for five years (all
 the running events), and one time while
 running I stepped in a hole, lost my shoe,
 and landed sprawling about five feet
 away. I pulled my shoe on and kept
 running
 I have a coworker who somehow makes
 better coffee than everyone else even
 though the grounds come pre-measured
 and all you have to do is load them up
 and push a button. I have a friend who
 has inch long nails that never break. My
 brother can copy origami just by looking
 at the finished product and my mother
 can do the same with knots. I knew a
 guy who never made an error when
 typing
 Maybe we all have little magics, the kind
 that you don't realize you have. Just tiny
 things that make your life slightly better
 but are completely unnoticed on the
 outside.
 this is the cutest post i have ever read...
 Nooo I've actually shared this theory before.
 Like my Dad is really lucky finding parking
 spaces. And I've never cracked my phone even
 though I drop it on the time and have an
 average case. Like what if everybody gets one
 trivial part of their life that they're illogically lucky
 at?
 Non-stop fun at FUNsubstance.com
Magic

Magic

Origami: BEANS MOLE J MEAT CHBESE RKE CILAVIZO SALsA Dear Guy Who Just Made My Burrito: Lucky Shirt in Comedy Corner mybigfatgaylife: its-rowark: misanthrobot: rowan-oak-o-flow: delgt: xopachi: skwinky: lntruding: Have you ever been to earth? On earth, we use the word “burrito” to describe a tortilla filled with things you eat. Pretty simple stuff, and I’m surprised you at least got that part right. My burrito was, in fact, filled with food. In this, you and I agree and are friends. But this is also where my lifelong hatred begins for you and anyone else whose brain has been repeatedly scrubbed with the same mixture of bleach and Pop Rocks as yours has. Because that should have killed you, but left you around long enough to do what you did to me today. Let me explain: You’re an idiot. Let me further explain: Burritos are eaten from one end to the other. So that means when you assemble a burrito with motherfucking ZONES of ingredients going that direction, you create a disgusting experience for the burrito’s end user. When you make a burrito, you should put the ingredients in layerslengthwise. That way, every bite has AT LEAST A FUCKING CHANCE of getting at least two types of ingredients, and there is little chance of becoming almost hopelessly trapped in a goddamned cilantro cavern. Have you ever eaten one of the things you make all fucking day? You should try one. They are pretty good WHEN YOU ARE NOT WILLING YOURSELF THROUGH THE FUCKING EMPIRE OF SOUR CREAM ONLY TO END UP IN LETTUCE COUNTRY. When you eat a burrito, you don’t stand it up and bite down on it lengthwise like a fucking Rancor. Humans can’t usually dislocate their jaws, and I’m not a fucking pelican. But you must think that’s how it’s done, since that would be THE ONLY FUCKING WAY to take a bite of your crapstrosity and have it taste like a burrito. And guess what else, player? You probably can’t guess anything, because I’m pretty sure you’re just a mop with a hat on it that fell over and spilled some shit into a tortilla, but just in case, here’s what: Humans also don’t eat burritos like fucking corn on the cob. Like a fucking typewriter from one end to the other a little at a time and then DING next line. But today I wish I had tried that. Because at least THEN I would be able to eat some rice, then beans, then be all like HEY BEANS I’LL BE RIGHT BACK JUST GOING OVER HERE TO THE GUACAMOLE FOR A SECOND. Nope. My experience was more like HEY BEANS IT’S JUST GOING TO BE YOU AND I FOR A MINUTE UNTIL I CAN FUCKING EXCAVATE THE RICE FROM BENEATH YOU BUT BY THEN YOU WILL BE A FADING MEMORY OH HEY I WAS WRONG I’M IN THE FUCKING CHEESEOSPHERE NOW RICE MUST BE NEXT I HOPE IT’S NOT ANOTHER FUCKING SALSA POCKET. You built this thing like a fucking pack of LifeSavers. And don’t even fucking think I’m about to open this shit up and re-engineer your nonsense 90 degrees. I ALREADY PUT A HOLE IN IT WITH MY FUCKING MOUTH. YEAH. THAT’S HOW I DISCOVERED YOU FUCKING SUCK AT LOOKING AT THINGS. I AM NOT GOING TO DO FUCKING TORTILLA ORIGAMI TO GET THIS SHIT BACK TOGETHER, ONLY TO END UP WITH A BURRITO THAT’S BEEN SHOT IN THE GUT AND IS BLEEDING YOUR INEPTITUDE. What’s that? I should ask you to mix it up first next time? IS THIS JAMBA JUICE? I DON’T WANT TO DRINK MY FUCKING BURRITO THROUGH A BENDY STRAW, AND I DON’T WANT A PILE OF BURRITO SOUP IN A FLOUR CAN. I just want a burrito. In conclusion: You’re the worst thing that has ever happened to the universe, you owe everyone everywhere an apology for this burritobomination, and I hope your babies look like monkeys. UPDATE FOR EVERYONE WHO SAID “JUST EAT IT WITH A FORK”: A fucking fork? I DIDN’T ORDER THE FUCKING COBBURRITO SALAD. If anyone ever handed me a burrito with a fork, THEY WOULD BE WEARING A BRAND NEW BURRITO HAT FROM MY FALL COLLECTION TEN SECONDS LATER. That’s like buying a car and having them hand you a fucking wrench with the keys. Like YEAH WE KNOW THIS MOTHERFUCKER’S GOING TO EXPLODE AND BE SPREAD ACROSS EIGHT LANES AS SOON AS YOU HIT THE GAS, BUT SHIT, WE GAVE YOU A WRENCH, SO BE COOL. Jesus already gave me two burrito forks. One at the end of each arm. They’re called fucking HANDS. A fork. My god. I haven’t cried since I was six, but I’m fucking sobbing now. People eat burritos with forks? God is sorry he made us. (Source) I always need this on my blog. I can’t be laughing this hard in the morning.  Yes @kirkfuffle MY FAVORITE FUCKING POST IS BACK. Finally! I wanted to show this to my brother and I’ve been waiting over a year for it to come back! I want this post and one of the “be nice to underpaid workers” posts to fight it out in the Tumblr Performative Progressivism Thunderdome.
Origami: BEANS
 MOLE J MEAT
 CHBESE
 RKE
 CILAVIZO SALsA
 Dear Guy Who Just Made My
 Burrito:
 Lucky Shirt in Comedy Corner
mybigfatgaylife:

its-rowark:

misanthrobot:

rowan-oak-o-flow:

delgt:

xopachi:

skwinky:

lntruding:


Have you ever been to earth?
On earth, we use the word “burrito” to describe a tortilla filled with things you eat. Pretty simple stuff, and I’m surprised you at least got that part right. My burrito was, in fact, filled with food. In this, you and I agree and are friends. But this is also where my lifelong hatred begins for you and anyone else whose brain has been repeatedly scrubbed with the same mixture of bleach and Pop Rocks as yours has. Because that should have killed you, but left you around long enough to do what you did to me today. Let me explain:
You’re an idiot.
Let me further explain:
Burritos are eaten from one end to the other. So that means when you assemble a burrito with motherfucking ZONES of ingredients going that direction, you create a disgusting experience for the burrito’s end user. When you make a burrito, you should put the ingredients in layerslengthwise. That way, every bite has AT LEAST A FUCKING CHANCE of getting at least two types of ingredients, and there is little chance of becoming almost hopelessly trapped in a goddamned cilantro cavern.
Have you ever eaten one of the things you make all fucking day? You should try one. They are pretty good WHEN YOU ARE NOT WILLING YOURSELF THROUGH THE FUCKING EMPIRE OF SOUR CREAM ONLY TO END UP IN LETTUCE COUNTRY.
When you eat a burrito, you don’t stand it up and bite down on it lengthwise like a fucking Rancor. Humans can’t usually dislocate their jaws, and I’m not a fucking pelican. But you must think that’s how it’s done, since that would be THE ONLY FUCKING WAY to take a bite of your crapstrosity and have it taste like a burrito.
And guess what else, player? You probably can’t guess anything, because I’m pretty sure you’re just a mop with a hat on it that fell over and spilled some shit into a tortilla, but just in case, here’s what:
Humans also don’t eat burritos like fucking corn on the cob. Like a fucking typewriter from one end to the other a little at a time and then DING next line. But today I wish I had tried that. Because at least THEN I would be able to eat some rice, then beans, then be all like HEY BEANS I’LL BE RIGHT BACK JUST GOING OVER HERE TO THE GUACAMOLE FOR A SECOND.
Nope.
My experience was more like HEY BEANS IT’S JUST GOING TO BE YOU AND I FOR A MINUTE UNTIL I CAN FUCKING EXCAVATE THE RICE FROM BENEATH YOU BUT BY THEN YOU WILL BE A FADING MEMORY OH HEY I WAS WRONG I’M IN THE FUCKING CHEESEOSPHERE NOW RICE MUST BE NEXT I HOPE IT’S NOT ANOTHER FUCKING SALSA POCKET.
You built this thing like a fucking pack of LifeSavers.
And don’t even fucking think I’m about to open this shit up and re-engineer your nonsense 90 degrees. I ALREADY PUT A HOLE IN IT WITH MY FUCKING MOUTH. YEAH. THAT’S HOW I DISCOVERED YOU FUCKING SUCK AT LOOKING AT THINGS. I AM NOT GOING TO DO FUCKING TORTILLA ORIGAMI TO GET THIS SHIT BACK TOGETHER, ONLY TO END UP WITH A BURRITO THAT’S BEEN SHOT IN THE GUT AND IS BLEEDING YOUR INEPTITUDE.
What’s that? I should ask you to mix it up first next time? IS THIS JAMBA JUICE? I DON’T WANT TO DRINK MY FUCKING BURRITO THROUGH A BENDY STRAW, AND I DON’T WANT A PILE OF BURRITO SOUP IN A FLOUR CAN.
I just want a burrito.
In conclusion:
You’re the worst thing that has ever happened to the universe, you owe everyone everywhere an apology for this burritobomination, and I hope your babies look like monkeys.



UPDATE FOR EVERYONE WHO SAID “JUST EAT IT WITH A FORK”:
A fucking fork?
I DIDN’T ORDER THE FUCKING COBBURRITO SALAD.
If anyone ever handed me a burrito with a fork, THEY WOULD BE WEARING A BRAND NEW BURRITO HAT FROM MY FALL COLLECTION TEN SECONDS LATER.
That’s like buying a car and having them hand you a fucking wrench with the keys. Like YEAH WE KNOW THIS MOTHERFUCKER’S GOING TO EXPLODE AND BE SPREAD ACROSS EIGHT LANES AS SOON AS YOU HIT THE GAS, BUT SHIT, WE GAVE YOU A WRENCH, SO BE COOL.
Jesus already gave me two burrito forks. One at the end of each arm. They’re called fucking HANDS.
A fork. My god. I haven’t cried since I was six, but I’m fucking sobbing now.
People eat burritos with forks?
God is sorry he made us.
(Source)


I always need this on my blog.

I can’t be laughing this hard in the morning. 

Yes

@kirkfuffle

MY FAVORITE FUCKING POST IS BACK.


Finally! I wanted to show this to my brother and I’ve been waiting over a year for it to come back!


I want this post and one of the “be nice to underpaid workers” posts to fight it out in the Tumblr Performative Progressivism Thunderdome.

mybigfatgaylife: its-rowark: misanthrobot: rowan-oak-o-flow: delgt: xopachi: skwinky: lntruding: Have you ever been to earth? On...

Origami: nilesymon i wonder if magic is real, but only in a really mundane way. when i was little i could almost inerringly switch back to disney channel right as the ads ended when i was channel surfing maybe youve never accidentally crushed a ladybug underfoot. maybe your microwave popcorn never burns maybe you can spin around lots and lots of times before you get dizzy. is that magic?? honestly im not sure if these are magic or just small, invisible skills. im not sure which i like better My ankles never twist. I've always been rather active, I did track for five years (all the running events), and one time while running I stepped in a hole, lost my shoe, and landed sprawling about five feet away. I pulled my shoe on and kept running I have a coworker who somehow makes better coffee than everyone else even though the grounds come pre-measured and all you have to do is load them up and push a button. I have a friend who has inch long nails that never break. My brother can copy origami just by looking at the finished product and my mother can do the same with knots. I knew a guy who never made an error when typing Maybe we all have little magics, the kind that you don't realize you have. Just tiny things that make your life slightly better but are completely unnoticed on the outside. this is the cutest post i have ever read... Nooo I've actually shared this theory before. Like my Dad is really lucky finding parking spaces. And I've never cracked my phone even though I drop it on the time and have an average case. Like what if everybody gets one trivial part of their life that they're illogically lucky at? Non-stop fun at FUNsubstance.com Daily magic
Origami: nilesymon
 i wonder if magic is real, but only in a
 really mundane way.
 when i was little i could almost
 inerringly switch back to disney
 channel right as the ads ended when
 i was channel surfing
 maybe youve never accidentally
 crushed a ladybug underfoot. maybe
 your microwave popcorn never burns
 maybe you can spin around lots and
 lots of times before you get dizzy.
 is that magic??
 honestly im not sure if these are
 magic or just small, invisible skills. im
 not sure which i like better
 My ankles never twist. I've always been
 rather active, I did track for five years (all
 the running events), and one time while
 running I stepped in a hole, lost my shoe,
 and landed sprawling about five feet
 away. I pulled my shoe on and kept
 running
 I have a coworker who somehow makes
 better coffee than everyone else even
 though the grounds come pre-measured
 and all you have to do is load them up
 and push a button. I have a friend who
 has inch long nails that never break. My
 brother can copy origami just by looking
 at the finished product and my mother
 can do the same with knots. I knew a
 guy who never made an error when
 typing
 Maybe we all have little magics, the kind
 that you don't realize you have. Just tiny
 things that make your life slightly better
 but are completely unnoticed on the
 outside.
 this is the cutest post i have ever read...
 Nooo I've actually shared this theory before.
 Like my Dad is really lucky finding parking
 spaces. And I've never cracked my phone even
 though I drop it on the time and have an
 average case. Like what if everybody gets one
 trivial part of their life that they're illogically lucky
 at?
 Non-stop fun at FUNsubstance.com
Daily magic

Daily magic

Origami: SO NASA..CAN YOU EXPLAIN HOW YOU GOT THAT DUNE BUGGY INSIDE THAT LUNAR MODULE? Whoa guys, I just got a wild idea. I'm just putting this out there what if it can fold up to fit inside? LRDEPLOYMENT SEQUENCE WHOA LOOK AT THAT IT CAN FOLD IN HALF TO FIT INSIDE THE LM AND THEN ALL THEY HAVE TO DO WHEN THEY GET TO THE MOON IS PULL THIS THING TO UNFOLD IT AND GET IT OUT AT THE SAME TIME THIS IS SO CLEVER I'M SHOOK yes we can THERE WAS A SHOW CALLED MOON MACHINES THAT DID AN ENTIRE ONE HOUR EPISODE ON THE LUNAR ROVER! IT WASN'T SUPPOSED TO EXIST BUT THEN SOMEONE REALIZED THERE WAS A TINY WEDGE SPACED VOID BETWEEN THE LANDING STRUTS THAT COULD FIT A TINY SOMETHING! A PAIR OF FORD EMPLOYEES FIGURED OUT HOW TO ORIGAMI DECEPTICON A TINY CAR INTO THAT SHIT AND USED A GI JOE TOY TO BUILD A MODEL VERSION THAT THEY RC DROVE INTO WERNER VON BRAUN'S OFFICE! Sorry for the all caps, but the lunar rover is honestly one of the coolest fucking engineering accomplishments of all time and deserves to be recognized as such We've got a tiny space, we might be able to fit something extra in on the descent ship. ·Hey, wouldn't it be fucking sweet if they had a moon go- kart that folded up? IT FUCKING WILL BE SWEET BECAUSE IT'S GOING TO HAPPEN NOW I always love how badly moon truthers underestimate the reality of the Apollo program Do you not immediately understand something but don't want to do any research to try to understand it? Then you might have the chops to be a conspiracy theorist! And don't worry! If you do accidentally absorb some new information that contradicts your ignorance, claim the evidence was faked! It's almost TOO easy! Sign up today!
Origami: SO NASA..CAN YOU EXPLAIN HOW
 YOU GOT THAT DUNE BUGGY INSIDE
 THAT LUNAR MODULE?
 Whoa guys, I just got a wild idea. I'm just putting this out
 there
 what if it can fold up to fit inside?
 LRDEPLOYMENT SEQUENCE
 WHOA LOOK AT THAT IT CAN FOLD IN HALF TO FIT
 INSIDE THE LM AND THEN ALL THEY HAVE TO DO
 WHEN THEY GET TO THE MOON IS PULL THIS THING
 TO UNFOLD IT AND GET IT OUT AT THE SAME TIME
 THIS IS SO CLEVER I'M SHOOK
 yes we can
 THERE WAS A SHOW CALLED MOON MACHINES THAT DID AN
 ENTIRE ONE HOUR EPISODE ON THE LUNAR ROVER! IT
 WASN'T SUPPOSED TO EXIST BUT THEN SOMEONE
 REALIZED THERE WAS A TINY WEDGE SPACED VOID
 BETWEEN THE LANDING STRUTS THAT COULD FIT A TINY
 SOMETHING! A PAIR OF FORD EMPLOYEES FIGURED OUT
 HOW TO ORIGAMI DECEPTICON A TINY CAR INTO THAT SHIT
 AND USED A GI JOE TOY TO BUILD A MODEL VERSION THAT
 THEY RC DROVE INTO WERNER VON BRAUN'S OFFICE!
 Sorry for the all caps, but the lunar rover is honestly one of
 the coolest fucking engineering accomplishments of all time
 and deserves to be recognized as such
 We've got a tiny space, we might be able to fit something
 extra in on the descent ship.
 ·Hey, wouldn't it be fucking sweet if they had a moon go-
 kart that folded up?
 IT FUCKING WILL BE SWEET BECAUSE IT'S GOING TO
 HAPPEN NOW
 I always love how badly moon truthers underestimate the reality
 of the Apollo program
 Do you not immediately understand something but don't want to
 do any research to try to understand it? Then you might have the
 chops to be a conspiracy theorist!
 And don't worry! If you do accidentally absorb some new
 information that contradicts your ignorance, claim the evidence
 was faked! It's almost TOO easy!
Sign up today!

Sign up today!