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Ouija: Wholesome ouija
Ouija: Wholesome ouija

Wholesome ouija

Ouija: WIZARU speedoweedo on a list of dumb shit i know: the grass in the original shrek movie is not grass. its hair. they used hair textures for the grass bc the actual grass for some reason in their computer modelling programs would not behave like grass so they used hair textures colored green. speedoweedo elvis presley was a registered DEA officer who asked nixon for the title and was awarded it. ndiecity What else? WIZARD speedoweedo the great escape artist houdini was living in a time period where mysticism, fortune telling, ouija boards, seances and etc were becoming very common place and trendy. and he fucking hated it so much. so much that he would go to seances in disguise and make some bullshit off the wall shit like "my son died last year can you let me talk to him" and the seance person would be like 'THIS IS YOUR SON HELLO FATHER then he'd rip off his disguise and be like YOU FRAUD I HAVE NO CHILDREN. He died on Halloween night in detroit and as far as i know every year they hold seances on halloween trying to get in contact with his spirit. If seances work i bet his ghost is just pissed off and not responding out of raw spite speedoweedo foxes cant snarl like dogs and wolves cus the muscles in their muzzle dont allowe it so they just drop their jaws and scream. simon-newman Brain: *An extremely obscure fact from the subject I never studied in my life* Me: How the f*ck do we know this? Brain: I don't know! Both: *Screaming* lolpics/AstroFunny I really like some of these.
Ouija: WIZARU
 speedoweedo
 on a list of dumb shit i know:
 the grass in the original shrek movie is not
 grass. its hair. they used hair textures for
 the grass bc the actual grass for some
 reason in their computer modelling
 programs would not behave like grass so
 they used hair textures colored green.
 speedoweedo
 elvis presley was a registered DEA officer
 who asked nixon for the title and was
 awarded it.
 ndiecity
 What else?
 WIZARD
 speedoweedo
 the great escape artist houdini was living in
 a time period where mysticism, fortune
 telling, ouija boards, seances and etc were
 becoming very common place and trendy.
 and he fucking hated it so much. so much
 that he would go to seances in disguise
 and make some bullshit off the wall shit like
 "my son died last year can you let me talk
 to him" and the seance person would be
 like 'THIS IS YOUR SON HELLO FATHER
 then he'd rip off his disguise and be like
 YOU FRAUD I HAVE NO CHILDREN.
 He died on Halloween night in detroit and
 as far as i know every year they hold
 seances on halloween trying to get in
 contact with his spirit. If seances work i bet
 his ghost is just pissed off and not
 responding out of raw spite
 speedoweedo
 foxes cant snarl like dogs and wolves cus
 the muscles in their muzzle dont allowe it
 so they just drop their jaws and scream.
 simon-newman
 Brain: *An extremely obscure fact from the
 subject I never studied in my life*
 Me: How the f*ck do we know this?
 Brain: I don't know!
 Both: *Screaming*
 lolpics/AstroFunny
I really like some of these.

I really like some of these.

Ouija: 221biotchplease: leaveittotegan: lumnie: chemisquid: dippersballoon: I saw an opportunity and I took it This is what they mean when they say life flashes before your eyes as you die For those wondering, the song is ”Mr. Blue Sky” by ELO. Perhaps someone beat me to it, but here are ALL of the featured vines, in order of appearance: I won’t hesitate bitch Hi my name is Tre and I have a basketball game tomorrow Whaddup, I’m Jared I’m 19 and I never fucking learned how 2 read Kermit the Frog jumps off building Fr e sh a voca do back at it again at Krispy Kreme There is only one thing worse than a rapist Club Jam (yes a really good book) At least the taco was free I am the Sand Guardian, guardian of the sand Grandma loves ping pong too much If your name is Junior Welcome to Target I’m just cooking pizza Cole Sprouse dress-up game On all levels except physical, I am a Wolf Kid hits ceiling of gym with rope (breaking free) Kid smacked by fly swatter Fuck it up Kenneth (my boy going to school) Um I’m not finished (Tyler the Creator) WE’RE BREAKING FREE SAIL I’m Squidward So I’m sitting there, barbecue sauce on my tiddies So no head? (breaking skateboard) Actually, Megan (I can’t sit anywhere) No off topic questions (Chris Christie) What the fuck, Richard Drop it like it’s hot (its just luke) Bored as shiiiiii Liberian accent (plasma globe) New haircut (Parker Kit Hill) Summertime sadness (chicken) More like hurricane TORTILLA I got an a-bor-tion All Around the World (TheJasminator) When there’s a cutie next to you at a red light Snake licks lollipop Accept yourself, love yourself Be whatever you wanna be Don’t touch Zac’s music (LENARR) Whoever threw that paper, your mom’s a ho Can I please get a waffle? Turn off the flash you fucking moron (Star Wars) Ebony Jenkins (shut up!) Kevin, watch the light dude Horse meditation A girl a dream a clothing hanger Is that a weed? (911 microwave) Helium balloons (floating car) Fireplace fairy I’m your freestyle dance teacher I can’t believe you’ve done this Which way the Quiznos is Impossible paper toss shot Hemtube (dancing with cat) I nurture my skin (Shaq) Why are you running Happy birthday? Thicker than a bowl of oatmeal (courtroom) Farkle falling Fuck you (soda machine) Squash banana (the branch I was holding broke) Take On Me And now my sock is wet (water gun) All I ever wanted was some motherfuckin guala When there’s too much drama at school Two bros chillin in the Hot Tub What’s your name? (ouija board) Chillary Clinton (chillin in Cedar Rapids) Guy drops slurpee (7-Eleven) Girl scared of convertible car Guy who is self-conscious about his lisp (Rice Krispies Treats) Would you like the spider on your hand? Shopping cart crash We actually have the chip reader now I’M A GIRAFFE Dinner with Zayn Malik (Chihuahua eating spaghetti) I HOPE IT’S HELPFUL TO SOMEONE! Peace ( ͡~ ͜ʖ ͡°) this gave me such a warm feeling i legit teared up no joke BEAUTY
Ouija: 221biotchplease:

leaveittotegan:

lumnie:

chemisquid:

dippersballoon:
I saw an opportunity and I took it
This is what they mean when they say life flashes before your eyes as you die

For those wondering, the song is ”Mr. Blue Sky” by ELO.


Perhaps someone beat me to it, but here are ALL of the featured vines, in order of appearance:

I won’t hesitate bitch

Hi my name is Tre and I have a basketball game tomorrow

Whaddup, I’m Jared I’m 19 and I never fucking learned how 2 read

Kermit the Frog jumps off building

Fr e sh a voca do

back at it again at Krispy Kreme

There is only one thing worse than a rapist

Club Jam (yes a really good book)

At least the taco was free

I am the Sand Guardian, guardian of the sand

Grandma loves ping pong too much

If your name is Junior

Welcome to Target

I’m just cooking pizza

Cole Sprouse dress-up game

On all levels except physical, I am a Wolf

Kid hits ceiling of gym with rope (breaking free)

Kid smacked by fly swatter

Fuck it up Kenneth (my boy going to school)

Um I’m not finished (Tyler the Creator)

WE’RE BREAKING FREE

SAIL

I’m Squidward

So I’m sitting there, barbecue sauce on my tiddies

So no head? (breaking skateboard)

Actually, Megan (I can’t sit anywhere)

No off topic questions (Chris Christie)

What the fuck, Richard

Drop it like it’s hot (its just luke)

Bored as shiiiiii

Liberian accent (plasma globe)

New haircut (Parker Kit Hill)

Summertime sadness (chicken)

More like hurricane TORTILLA

I got an a-bor-tion

All Around the World (TheJasminator)

When there’s a cutie next to you at a red light

Snake licks lollipop

Accept yourself, love yourself

Be whatever you wanna be

Don’t touch Zac’s music (LENARR)

Whoever threw that paper, your mom’s a ho

Can I please get a waffle?

Turn off the flash you fucking moron (Star Wars)

Ebony Jenkins (shut up!)

Kevin, watch the light dude

Horse meditation
A girl a dream  a clothing hanger

Is that a weed? (911 microwave)

Helium balloons (floating car)

Fireplace fairy

I’m your freestyle dance teacher

I can’t believe you’ve done this

Which way the Quiznos is

Impossible paper toss shot

Hemtube (dancing with cat)

I nurture my skin (Shaq)

Why are you running

Happy birthday?

Thicker than a bowl of oatmeal (courtroom)

Farkle falling

Fuck you (soda machine)

Squash banana (the branch I was holding broke)

Take On Me

And now my sock is wet (water gun)

All I ever wanted was some motherfuckin guala

When there’s too much drama at school

Two bros chillin in the Hot Tub

What’s your name? (ouija board)

Chillary Clinton (chillin in Cedar Rapids)

Guy drops slurpee (7-Eleven)

Girl scared of convertible car

Guy who is self-conscious about his lisp (Rice Krispies Treats)

Would you like the spider on your hand?

Shopping cart crash

We actually have the chip reader now

I’M A GIRAFFE

Dinner with Zayn Malik (Chihuahua eating spaghetti)
I HOPE IT’S HELPFUL TO SOMEONE! Peace ( ͡~ ͜ʖ ͡°)



this gave me such a warm feeling i legit teared up no joke

BEAUTY

221biotchplease: leaveittotegan: lumnie: chemisquid: dippersballoon: I saw an opportunity and I took it This is what they mean when t...

Ouija: themetaisawesome: tsunasty: deafonyourleft: totallytrailbreaker: skellydun: rip santa. Working in Retail in under 3 minutes i had to watch this like 5 times because of no captions but lmao if someone makes a transcript for this it would be bomb transcript:“So we have these Santas at work, right, okay? We have black and we have white Santas. And they’re like creepy, five-foot tall, lifelike animatronic… like, Santas that hold plates of cookies and milk, and they kinda look like they could wake up and come to life and murder you in your sleep– and they don’t include batteries, but we have these Santas. Like nothing screams ‘festive holiday cheer’ like a big, hulking Santa. Um. Nothin’ will jingle your jangles more.So, um, this woman comes in and she’s like, “Do you have these?” and I’m like, “Oh my god, yeah!” So a couple weeks ago we sold out of our white Santas, and we are down to like, three black Santas. And so, I take her to the aisle, I show her the Santas, and the first thing out of her mouth is, “I’m not racist, but…” and I’m like, well, I can’t– I’m not in the position to decide if you are or not, but if like– if I could use context clues and infer, uh, I would say maybe that you might be. And three, we’re talking about Santa. Like– (stuttering) did we switch subjects?And so, um, I’m in like, I– the next thing that pops out of her mouth is like, “This is not right.” and I’m like, okay, I’m sorry, but this is what the picture was. And she’s like, “No. Santa is white.” And I’m like, oh no, okay. Okay. So I’m in– I’m about to tell her, I’m like, mid-sentence, like, “I’m sorry, do you want me to go call another store, do you need me to, like, write you a raincheck just in case we we get any more.” And she’s like, “This is wrong, I want them taken down.” She interrupts me, says that, and I’m like, (pause). I like, look around, and I’m like, is she talking to me? Is this, like, my own, like, personal hell? But like, of course it is.So, um, I’m like, “I can’t take these Santas down.” And she’s like, “Why not?!” And I’m like, “You either have to buy them, or take them down yourself.” And that was like, the stupidest thing I could have ever said, because– (sighs) she takes this bag, with like, Jesus’s face, like, slammed right in the middle as a design– it’s big– she takes it off her shoulder, and starts beating these black Santas! She starts beating these Santas down, they were like, falling down… and I’m like, oh my god! What– what is happening?So like, I step in the middle of her and these Santas and I’m like, “Ma’am, ma’am, you need to leave, you need to stop, or I’m going to have to call someone.” So she like, stops, and she’s like, beet red, and like, huffin’ and puffin’, and she like, looks at me and I can tell she’s just trying to get like, a one-liner in, and she’s like, “The Santa I know is white.” And then she walks away. And I’m like, well– I’m processing what’s happening, while also thinking, like, the Santa you know? Santa’s not real. So unless you’re using an ouija board to contact good old Kris Kringle, um, from like, B.C. or whenever, I’m like, that’s pretty impressive, but how ya doin’ that. And, um, I– the last thought that ran through my mind is that, I’m like, I would hate to be in the room with her when she finds out that Jesus is not white.” ‘‘Tis the season
Ouija: themetaisawesome:

tsunasty:

deafonyourleft:

totallytrailbreaker:

skellydun:

rip santa.

Working in Retail in under 3 minutes

i had to watch this like 5 times because of no captions but lmao if someone makes a transcript for this it would be bomb

transcript:“So we have these Santas at work, right, okay? We have black and we have white Santas. And they’re like creepy, five-foot tall, lifelike animatronic… like, Santas that hold plates of cookies and milk, and they kinda look like they could wake up and come to life and murder you in your sleep– and they don’t include batteries, but we have these Santas. Like nothing screams ‘festive holiday cheer’ like a big, hulking Santa. Um. Nothin’ will jingle your jangles more.So, um, this woman comes in and she’s like, “Do you have these?” and I’m like, “Oh my god, yeah!” So a couple weeks ago we sold out of our white Santas, and we are down to like, three black Santas. And so, I take her to the aisle, I show her the Santas, and the first thing out of her mouth is, “I’m not racist, but…” and I’m like, well, I can’t– I’m not in the position to decide if you are or not, but if like– if I could use context clues and infer, uh, I would say maybe that you might be. And three, we’re talking about Santa. Like– (stuttering) did we switch subjects?And so, um, I’m in like, I– the next thing that pops out of her mouth is like, “This is not right.” and I’m like, okay, I’m sorry, but this is what the picture was. And she’s like, “No. Santa is white.” And I’m like, oh no, okay. Okay. So I’m in– I’m about to tell her, I’m like, mid-sentence, like, “I’m sorry, do you want me to go call another store, do you need me to, like, write you a raincheck just in case we we get any more.” And she’s like, “This is wrong, I want them taken down.” She interrupts me, says that, and I’m like, (pause). I like, look around, and I’m like, is she talking to me? Is this, like, my own, like, personal hell? But like, of course it is.So, um, I’m like, “I can’t take these Santas down.” And she’s like, “Why not?!” And I’m like, “You either have to buy them, or take them down yourself.” And that was like, the stupidest thing I could have ever said, because– (sighs) she takes this bag, with like, Jesus’s face, like, slammed right in the middle as a design– it’s big– she takes it off her shoulder, and starts beating these black Santas! She starts beating these Santas down, they were like, falling down… and I’m like, oh my god! What– what is happening?So like, I step in the middle of her and these Santas and I’m like, “Ma’am, ma’am, you need to leave, you need to stop, or I’m going to have to call someone.” So she like, stops, and she’s like, beet red, and like, huffin’ and puffin’, and she like, looks at me and I can tell she’s just trying to get like, a one-liner in, and she’s like, “The Santa I know is white.” And then she walks away. And I’m like, well– I’m processing what’s happening, while also thinking, like, the Santa you know? Santa’s not real. So unless you’re using an ouija board to contact good old Kris Kringle, um, from like, B.C. or whenever, I’m like, that’s pretty impressive, but how ya doin’ that. And, um, I– the last thought that ran through my mind is that, I’m like, I would hate to be in the room with her when she finds out that Jesus is not white.”


‘‘Tis the season

themetaisawesome: tsunasty: deafonyourleft: totallytrailbreaker: skellydun: rip santa. Working in Retail in under 3 minutes i had...