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    Dating, Family, and Friends: HOWTO
 DETERMINE IF YOUR
 DATE IS MARRIED
 1Examine the left ring finger
 After a period of about one year, a wedding band
 leaves a circle of lighter skin around the base of the
 ring finger. Your date may also touch the base of that
 finger inadvertently, as if something is missing
 2 Ask for a home phone number
 Most people in committed relationships spend at least
 one or two hours a week on the phone; if your date will
 not give you his home phone number, then he is wor
 ried someone else will answer when you call
 3 Insist on holding hands when walking in public.
 If your date is interested and attracted to you, then
 he will not object to such a small and commonplace
 display of affection unless he fears that someone wil
 spot you together
 Search your date's car
 The automobile registration may be in the spouse's
 name, or in both names. It is usually kept in the glove
 compartment, behind the sun visor or, for non-smok-
 ers, in the ashtray. Look for signs of a spouse (clothing,
 makeup) or other indicators (pacifiers, pieces of crack-
 ers, toys) of a family your date has not mentioned.
 27. bto determine if your date is married

 un vison
 glove
 compartment
 ashtray
 earch your date's car. The automobile registration may
 include the spouse's mame.
 5
 Ask to meet some of his friends.
 After two or three dates, this is not an unusual request.
 If your date claims that his friends remain close to his
 ex-wife, or that it's too soon to bring you into their
 social circle, you have good reason to believe that you
 are not the only woman in his life.
 Invite him to spend the night.
 f you have engaged in sexual activity on several occa-
 sions but he always refuses to stay the night, then he
 very likely has someone waiting for him
 6
 28.
 cbapter I: defensive dating
novelty-gift-ideas:The Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook: Dating  Sex
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                Dating, Family, and Friends: HOWTO
 DETERMINE IF YOUR
 DATE IS MARRIED
 1Examine the left ring finger
 After a period of about one year, a wedding band
 leaves a circle of lighter skin around the base of the
 ring finger. Your date may also touch the base of that
 finger inadvertently, as if something is missing
 2 Ask for a home phone number
 Most people in committed relationships spend at least
 one or two hours a week on the phone; if your date will
 not give you his home phone number, then he is wor
 ried someone else will answer when you call
 3 Insist on holding hands when walking in public.
 If your date is interested and attracted to you, then
 he will not object to such a small and commonplace
 display of affection unless he fears that someone wil
 spot you together
 Search your date's car
 The automobile registration may be in the spouse's
 name, or in both names. It is usually kept in the glove
 compartment, behind the sun visor or, for non-smok-
 ers, in the ashtray. Look for signs of a spouse (clothing,
 makeup) or other indicators (pacifiers, pieces of crack-
 ers, toys) of a family your date has not mentioned.
 27. bto determine if your date is married

 un vison
 glove
 compartment
 ashtray
 earch your date's car. The automobile registration may
 include the spouse's mame.
 5
 Ask to meet some of his friends.
 After two or three dates, this is not an unusual request.
 If your date claims that his friends remain close to his
 ex-wife, or that it's too soon to bring you into their
 social circle, you have good reason to believe that you
 are not the only woman in his life.
 Invite him to spend the night.
 f you have engaged in sexual activity on several occa-
 sions but he always refuses to stay the night, then he
 very likely has someone waiting for him
 6
 28.
 cbapter I: defensive dating
novelty-gift-ideas:The Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook: Dating  Sex
                
            

            
            
novelty-gift-ideas:The Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook: Dating  Sex

            
            
        

    



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            




    Dating, Family, and Friends: HOWTO
 DETERMINE IF YOUR
 DATE IS MARRIED
 1Examine the left ring finger
 After a period of about one year, a wedding band
 leaves a circle of lighter skin around the base of the
 ring finger. Your date may also touch the base of that
 finger inadvertently, as if something is missing
 2 Ask for a home phone number
 Most people in committed relationships spend at least
 one or two hours a week on the phone; if your date will
 not give you his home phone number, then he is wor
 ried someone else will answer when you call
 3 Insist on holding hands when walking in public.
 If your date is interested and attracted to you, then
 he will not object to such a small and commonplace
 display of affection unless he fears that someone wil
 spot you together
 Search your date's car
 The automobile registration may be in the spouse's
 name, or in both names. It is usually kept in the glove
 compartment, behind the sun visor or, for non-smok-
 ers, in the ashtray. Look for signs of a spouse (clothing,
 makeup) or other indicators (pacifiers, pieces of crack-
 ers, toys) of a family your date has not mentioned.
 27. bto determine if your date is married

 un vison
 glove
 compartment
 ashtray
 earch your date's car. The automobile registration may
 include the spouse's mame.
 5
 Ask to meet some of his friends.
 After two or three dates, this is not an unusual request.
 If your date claims that his friends remain close to his
 ex-wife, or that it's too soon to bring you into their
 social circle, you have good reason to believe that you
 are not the only woman in his life.
 Invite him to spend the night.
 f you have engaged in sexual activity on several occa-
 sions but he always refuses to stay the night, then he
 very likely has someone waiting for him
 6
 28.
 cbapter I: defensive dating
novelty-gift-ideas:The Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook: Dating  Sex
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                Dating, Family, and Friends: HOWTO
 DETERMINE IF YOUR
 DATE IS MARRIED
 1Examine the left ring finger
 After a period of about one year, a wedding band
 leaves a circle of lighter skin around the base of the
 ring finger. Your date may also touch the base of that
 finger inadvertently, as if something is missing
 2 Ask for a home phone number
 Most people in committed relationships spend at least
 one or two hours a week on the phone; if your date will
 not give you his home phone number, then he is wor
 ried someone else will answer when you call
 3 Insist on holding hands when walking in public.
 If your date is interested and attracted to you, then
 he will not object to such a small and commonplace
 display of affection unless he fears that someone wil
 spot you together
 Search your date's car
 The automobile registration may be in the spouse's
 name, or in both names. It is usually kept in the glove
 compartment, behind the sun visor or, for non-smok-
 ers, in the ashtray. Look for signs of a spouse (clothing,
 makeup) or other indicators (pacifiers, pieces of crack-
 ers, toys) of a family your date has not mentioned.
 27. bto determine if your date is married

 un vison
 glove
 compartment
 ashtray
 earch your date's car. The automobile registration may
 include the spouse's mame.
 5
 Ask to meet some of his friends.
 After two or three dates, this is not an unusual request.
 If your date claims that his friends remain close to his
 ex-wife, or that it's too soon to bring you into their
 social circle, you have good reason to believe that you
 are not the only woman in his life.
 Invite him to spend the night.
 f you have engaged in sexual activity on several occa-
 sions but he always refuses to stay the night, then he
 very likely has someone waiting for him
 6
 28.
 cbapter I: defensive dating
novelty-gift-ideas:The Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook: Dating  Sex
                
            

            
            
novelty-gift-ideas:The Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook: Dating  Sex

            
            
        

    



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            




    Advice, Bailey Jay, and Finance: Senator Eric Abetz has complained
 about the rainbow pride flag being
 flown in the foyer of a government
 department, saving it belongs to a
 "hostile nation" that has declared war
 on Australia.
 SENATE
 Senate Finance and Public Administration
 Legisiation Committee
ileolai:

gondorsfinest:

feitanswife:

sailurmars:

mycroftrh:

gerbthenerd:
Reblog if you’re part of a hostile nation that’s declared war on Australia
Oh my god though guys you don’t know the best thing!  The best thing is: he’s right.
The Gay and Lesbian Kingdom of the Coral Sea Islands is a micronation near Australia.  This is their flag:
The Gay Kingdom (as it is colloquially known) was founded in 2004 in protest against Australia’s legal stance against same-sex marriage.
Here are some of their stamps:
They are currently ruled by Emperor Dale I, and their currency is the Pink Dollar.
And, indeed - they declared war on Australia for not recognizing same-sex marriages performed outside the country.  (Second link.)


You’re telling me there has been a Gay Island this ENTIRE TIME and I’m only just finding out about it????


WHAT

okay, but not enough people know the details on this. people at pride were upset about gay rights in australia. so they decided to sail 200 miles into the coral sea just ‘cause and put a rainbow flag on a fucking empty island out of spite. and i’m talking empty. no inhabitants. zero. it was a flat piece of land with a bit of dry grass. now it has a camp site and a post office. 
they have a declaration of independence that talks a bit about gay rights and then just flat out copies the “life liberty and the pursuit of happiness” part from the american declaration of independence. and here’s the best part: the founding group actually elected their emperor. he was originally going to be called the “administrator” of a republic. their website, however, says that “upon legal advice, his title was changed to that of Sovereign on the grounds that under Australian law a defacto prince trying to claim his crown cannot be charged with treason”. so they made it a kingdom and he now claims to be a descendent of edward ii.
everything about this is glorious and everyone should know about it. Keep reading

Not one of you mentioned that the anthem for this nation is I Am What I Am by Gloria Gaynor. Not. One. Of. You.

    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                Advice, Bailey Jay, and Finance: Senator Eric Abetz has complained
 about the rainbow pride flag being
 flown in the foyer of a government
 department, saving it belongs to a
 "hostile nation" that has declared war
 on Australia.
 SENATE
 Senate Finance and Public Administration
 Legisiation Committee
ileolai:

gondorsfinest:

feitanswife:

sailurmars:

mycroftrh:

gerbthenerd:
Reblog if you’re part of a hostile nation that’s declared war on Australia
Oh my god though guys you don’t know the best thing!  The best thing is: he’s right.
The Gay and Lesbian Kingdom of the Coral Sea Islands is a micronation near Australia.  This is their flag:
The Gay Kingdom (as it is colloquially known) was founded in 2004 in protest against Australia’s legal stance against same-sex marriage.
Here are some of their stamps:
They are currently ruled by Emperor Dale I, and their currency is the Pink Dollar.
And, indeed - they declared war on Australia for not recognizing same-sex marriages performed outside the country.  (Second link.)


You’re telling me there has been a Gay Island this ENTIRE TIME and I’m only just finding out about it????


WHAT

okay, but not enough people know the details on this. people at pride were upset about gay rights in australia. so they decided to sail 200 miles into the coral sea just ‘cause and put a rainbow flag on a fucking empty island out of spite. and i’m talking empty. no inhabitants. zero. it was a flat piece of land with a bit of dry grass. now it has a camp site and a post office. 
they have a declaration of independence that talks a bit about gay rights and then just flat out copies the “life liberty and the pursuit of happiness” part from the american declaration of independence. and here’s the best part: the founding group actually elected their emperor. he was originally going to be called the “administrator” of a republic. their website, however, says that “upon legal advice, his title was changed to that of Sovereign on the grounds that under Australian law a defacto prince trying to claim his crown cannot be charged with treason”. so they made it a kingdom and he now claims to be a descendent of edward ii.
everything about this is glorious and everyone should know about it. Keep reading

Not one of you mentioned that the anthem for this nation is I Am What I Am by Gloria Gaynor. Not. One. Of. You.

                
            

            
            
ileolai:

gondorsfinest:

feitanswife:

sailurmars:

mycroftrh:

gerbthenerd:
Reblog if you’re part of a hostile nation that’s declared war ...

            
            
        

    



        

            
        
        

            




    Advice, Bailey Jay, and Finance: Senator Eric Abetz has complained
 about the rainbow pride flag being
 flown in the foyer of a government
 department, saving it belongs to a
 "hostile nation" that has declared war
 on Australia.
 SENATE
 Senate Finance and Public Administration
 Legisiation Committee
ileolai:

gondorsfinest:

feitanswife:

sailurmars:

mycroftrh:

gerbthenerd:
Reblog if you’re part of a hostile nation that’s declared war on Australia
Oh my god though guys you don’t know the best thing!  The best thing is: he’s right.
The Gay and Lesbian Kingdom of the Coral Sea Islands is a micronation near Australia.  This is their flag:
The Gay Kingdom (as it is colloquially known) was founded in 2004 in protest against Australia’s legal stance against same-sex marriage.
Here are some of their stamps:
They are currently ruled by Emperor Dale I, and their currency is the Pink Dollar.
And, indeed - they declared war on Australia for not recognizing same-sex marriages performed outside the country.  (Second link.)


You’re telling me there has been a Gay Island this ENTIRE TIME and I’m only just finding out about it????


WHAT

okay, but not enough people know the details on this. people at pride were upset about gay rights in australia. so they decided to sail 200 miles into the coral sea just ‘cause and put a rainbow flag on a fucking empty island out of spite. and i’m talking empty. no inhabitants. zero. it was a flat piece of land with a bit of dry grass. now it has a camp site and a post office. 
they have a declaration of independence that talks a bit about gay rights and then just flat out copies the “life liberty and the pursuit of happiness” part from the american declaration of independence. and here’s the best part: the founding group actually elected their emperor. he was originally going to be called the “administrator” of a republic. their website, however, says that “upon legal advice, his title was changed to that of Sovereign on the grounds that under Australian law a defacto prince trying to claim his crown cannot be charged with treason”. so they made it a kingdom and he now claims to be a descendent of edward ii.
everything about this is glorious and everyone should know about it. Keep reading

Not one of you mentioned that the anthem for this nation is I Am What I Am by Gloria Gaynor. Not. One. Of. You.

    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                Advice, Bailey Jay, and Finance: Senator Eric Abetz has complained
 about the rainbow pride flag being
 flown in the foyer of a government
 department, saving it belongs to a
 "hostile nation" that has declared war
 on Australia.
 SENATE
 Senate Finance and Public Administration
 Legisiation Committee
ileolai:

gondorsfinest:

feitanswife:

sailurmars:

mycroftrh:

gerbthenerd:
Reblog if you’re part of a hostile nation that’s declared war on Australia
Oh my god though guys you don’t know the best thing!  The best thing is: he’s right.
The Gay and Lesbian Kingdom of the Coral Sea Islands is a micronation near Australia.  This is their flag:
The Gay Kingdom (as it is colloquially known) was founded in 2004 in protest against Australia’s legal stance against same-sex marriage.
Here are some of their stamps:
They are currently ruled by Emperor Dale I, and their currency is the Pink Dollar.
And, indeed - they declared war on Australia for not recognizing same-sex marriages performed outside the country.  (Second link.)


You’re telling me there has been a Gay Island this ENTIRE TIME and I’m only just finding out about it????


WHAT

okay, but not enough people know the details on this. people at pride were upset about gay rights in australia. so they decided to sail 200 miles into the coral sea just ‘cause and put a rainbow flag on a fucking empty island out of spite. and i’m talking empty. no inhabitants. zero. it was a flat piece of land with a bit of dry grass. now it has a camp site and a post office. 
they have a declaration of independence that talks a bit about gay rights and then just flat out copies the “life liberty and the pursuit of happiness” part from the american declaration of independence. and here’s the best part: the founding group actually elected their emperor. he was originally going to be called the “administrator” of a republic. their website, however, says that “upon legal advice, his title was changed to that of Sovereign on the grounds that under Australian law a defacto prince trying to claim his crown cannot be charged with treason”. so they made it a kingdom and he now claims to be a descendent of edward ii.
everything about this is glorious and everyone should know about it. Keep reading

Not one of you mentioned that the anthem for this nation is I Am What I Am by Gloria Gaynor. Not. One. Of. You.

                
            

            
            
ileolai:

gondorsfinest:

feitanswife:

sailurmars:

mycroftrh:

gerbthenerd:
Reblog if you’re part of a hostile nation that’s declared war ...

            
            
        

    



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            




    Apple, Cum, and Target: awkward (adj)
 awkward (adj [embarrassing]
 awkward (adj) [problem, question, situation]
 awkward (adj)
 awkward (adj)
 awkward (adj)
 awkward (adj inconvenient]
 awkward (adj)
 awkward (adj)
 awkward (adj) [of movements]
 awkward (adj)
 awkward (adj)
 awkward (adj)
 awkward (adj [embarrassing]
 awkward (adj)
 awkward (adij) [difficult]
 awkward (adj) [clumsy]
 awkward (adj [elumsy]
 awkward (adj)
 awkward (adj)
 awkward (adj) [clumsy]
 awkward (adjł [embarrassed]
 awkward fadj [elumsy]
 awkward (adj) [item]
 awkward (adj)
 awkward (adj)
 awkward fadj [elumsy]
 awkward (adj)
 awkward (adj)
 awkward (adj [elumsy]
 awkward fadj [elumsy]
 awkward (adj)
 awkward (adj)
 awkward (adj [silence]
 awkward (adj)
 awkward (adj) [clumsy]
 ungeschickt
 peinlich
 heikel
 unbehaglich
 gefahrlich
 plump
 ungünstig
 misslich
 hilflos
 eckig [Bewegungen]
 ungelegen
 fatal [peinlich]
 verfänglich
 unangenehm
 scheußlich
 schwierig
 unbeholfen
 tollpatschig
 schwerfallig
 prekär [unangenehm, peinlich]
 ungelenk
 verlegen
 tapsig [ugs.]
 sperrig
 tölpelhaft
 unhandlich
 linkisch
 hölzern [fig.] [ungelenk]
 ungemütlich [Mensch]
 täppisch
 tolpatschig [alt] [ugs.]
 mißlich [alt]
 umständlich
 betreten [Schweigen, Stille]
 hinderlich
 dabbsch [sächs.] [ungeschickt, unbeholfen]
 unbetamt lösterr.l ugs.1 aus dem Ji
langernameohnebedeutung:

the-prankster:

people always talk about how germans have hundreds of words for apple core or cum but no one ever mentions our countless synonyms for awkward
tag yourself i’m dabbsch

German-speakers: have 454258 words for awkwardAlso German-speakers: Use the English word in casual conversation 

    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                Apple, Cum, and Target: awkward (adj)
 awkward (adj [embarrassing]
 awkward (adj) [problem, question, situation]
 awkward (adj)
 awkward (adj)
 awkward (adj)
 awkward (adj inconvenient]
 awkward (adj)
 awkward (adj)
 awkward (adj) [of movements]
 awkward (adj)
 awkward (adj)
 awkward (adj)
 awkward (adj [embarrassing]
 awkward (adj)
 awkward (adij) [difficult]
 awkward (adj) [clumsy]
 awkward (adj [elumsy]
 awkward (adj)
 awkward (adj)
 awkward (adj) [clumsy]
 awkward (adjł [embarrassed]
 awkward fadj [elumsy]
 awkward (adj) [item]
 awkward (adj)
 awkward (adj)
 awkward fadj [elumsy]
 awkward (adj)
 awkward (adj)
 awkward (adj [elumsy]
 awkward fadj [elumsy]
 awkward (adj)
 awkward (adj)
 awkward (adj [silence]
 awkward (adj)
 awkward (adj) [clumsy]
 ungeschickt
 peinlich
 heikel
 unbehaglich
 gefahrlich
 plump
 ungünstig
 misslich
 hilflos
 eckig [Bewegungen]
 ungelegen
 fatal [peinlich]
 verfänglich
 unangenehm
 scheußlich
 schwierig
 unbeholfen
 tollpatschig
 schwerfallig
 prekär [unangenehm, peinlich]
 ungelenk
 verlegen
 tapsig [ugs.]
 sperrig
 tölpelhaft
 unhandlich
 linkisch
 hölzern [fig.] [ungelenk]
 ungemütlich [Mensch]
 täppisch
 tolpatschig [alt] [ugs.]
 mißlich [alt]
 umständlich
 betreten [Schweigen, Stille]
 hinderlich
 dabbsch [sächs.] [ungeschickt, unbeholfen]
 unbetamt lösterr.l ugs.1 aus dem Ji
langernameohnebedeutung:

the-prankster:

people always talk about how germans have hundreds of words for apple core or cum but no one ever mentions our countless synonyms for awkward
tag yourself i’m dabbsch

German-speakers: have 454258 words for awkwardAlso German-speakers: Use the English word in casual conversation 

                
            

            
            
langernameohnebedeutung:

the-prankster:

people always talk about how germans have hundreds of words for apple core or cum but no one ever ...

            
            
        

    



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            




    Dating, Fire, and Head: The
 COMPLETE
 WORST-CASE SCENARIO
 Survival Handbook
 DATING & SEX
 By David Borgenicht, Joshua Piven,
 and Ben H. Winters

 HOW TO SURVIVE
 IF YOU HAVE
 EXCESSIVE GAS
 1 Limit your lactose intake during the date
 Many people suffer from an inability to digest milk
 sugar, or lactose. Colon bacteria ferment the milk
 sugar, forming a gas that creates a bloated feeling
 Keep your intake to less than half a cup at a sitting,
 and avoid dairy products before your date
 2Eat a small meal.
 Eating a huge dinner on a date is a sure-fire way to
 precipitate gas
 3Avoid gas-forming foods.
 Bacteria ferment the indigestible carbohydrates in
 beans, broccoli, cabbage, and other vegetables and
 fruits into gases
 4
 Drink peppermint tea.
 Replace an after-dinner drink with a cup or two of
 peppermint tea. This herb may give you some relief
 from the gas discomfort that follows a meal.
 5
 Emit the gas in private.
 As a last resort, head to the bathroom. If you feel
 bloated but are unable to pass gas easily, you can facili-
 tate the emission of gas as follows

 Kneel on the floor, bend forward, and stretch your arms out in
 front of you. Keep your buttocks bigh in the air, forming a tri-
 angle with your upper body and the floor
 Place paper towels on the floor. Kneel on the towels,
 bend forward to the floor, and stretch your arms out in
 front of you. Keep your buttocks high in the air, form-
 ing a triangle with your upper body and the floor. This
 position will force out the unwanted gas and relieve
 the pressure.
novelty-gift-ideas:

The Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook: Dating  Sex


    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                Dating, Fire, and Head: The
 COMPLETE
 WORST-CASE SCENARIO
 Survival Handbook
 DATING & SEX
 By David Borgenicht, Joshua Piven,
 and Ben H. Winters

 HOW TO SURVIVE
 IF YOU HAVE
 EXCESSIVE GAS
 1 Limit your lactose intake during the date
 Many people suffer from an inability to digest milk
 sugar, or lactose. Colon bacteria ferment the milk
 sugar, forming a gas that creates a bloated feeling
 Keep your intake to less than half a cup at a sitting,
 and avoid dairy products before your date
 2Eat a small meal.
 Eating a huge dinner on a date is a sure-fire way to
 precipitate gas
 3Avoid gas-forming foods.
 Bacteria ferment the indigestible carbohydrates in
 beans, broccoli, cabbage, and other vegetables and
 fruits into gases
 4
 Drink peppermint tea.
 Replace an after-dinner drink with a cup or two of
 peppermint tea. This herb may give you some relief
 from the gas discomfort that follows a meal.
 5
 Emit the gas in private.
 As a last resort, head to the bathroom. If you feel
 bloated but are unable to pass gas easily, you can facili-
 tate the emission of gas as follows

 Kneel on the floor, bend forward, and stretch your arms out in
 front of you. Keep your buttocks bigh in the air, forming a tri-
 angle with your upper body and the floor
 Place paper towels on the floor. Kneel on the towels,
 bend forward to the floor, and stretch your arms out in
 front of you. Keep your buttocks high in the air, form-
 ing a triangle with your upper body and the floor. This
 position will force out the unwanted gas and relieve
 the pressure.
novelty-gift-ideas:

The Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook: Dating  Sex


                
            

            
            
novelty-gift-ideas:

The Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook: Dating  Sex



            
            
        

    



        

            
        
        

            




    Dating, Fire, and Head: The
 COMPLETE
 WORST-CASE SCENARIO
 Survival Handbook
 DATING & SEX
 By David Borgenicht, Joshua Piven,
 and Ben H. Winters

 HOW TO SURVIVE
 IF YOU HAVE
 EXCESSIVE GAS
 1 Limit your lactose intake during the date
 Many people suffer from an inability to digest milk
 sugar, or lactose. Colon bacteria ferment the milk
 sugar, forming a gas that creates a bloated feeling
 Keep your intake to less than half a cup at a sitting,
 and avoid dairy products before your date
 2Eat a small meal.
 Eating a huge dinner on a date is a sure-fire way to
 precipitate gas
 3Avoid gas-forming foods.
 Bacteria ferment the indigestible carbohydrates in
 beans, broccoli, cabbage, and other vegetables and
 fruits into gases
 4
 Drink peppermint tea.
 Replace an after-dinner drink with a cup or two of
 peppermint tea. This herb may give you some relief
 from the gas discomfort that follows a meal.
 5
 Emit the gas in private.
 As a last resort, head to the bathroom. If you feel
 bloated but are unable to pass gas easily, you can facili-
 tate the emission of gas as follows

 Kneel on the floor, bend forward, and stretch your arms out in
 front of you. Keep your buttocks bigh in the air, forming a tri-
 angle with your upper body and the floor
 Place paper towels on the floor. Kneel on the towels,
 bend forward to the floor, and stretch your arms out in
 front of you. Keep your buttocks high in the air, form-
 ing a triangle with your upper body and the floor. This
 position will force out the unwanted gas and relieve
 the pressure.
novelty-gift-ideas:

The Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook: Dating  Sex


    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                Dating, Fire, and Head: The
 COMPLETE
 WORST-CASE SCENARIO
 Survival Handbook
 DATING & SEX
 By David Borgenicht, Joshua Piven,
 and Ben H. Winters

 HOW TO SURVIVE
 IF YOU HAVE
 EXCESSIVE GAS
 1 Limit your lactose intake during the date
 Many people suffer from an inability to digest milk
 sugar, or lactose. Colon bacteria ferment the milk
 sugar, forming a gas that creates a bloated feeling
 Keep your intake to less than half a cup at a sitting,
 and avoid dairy products before your date
 2Eat a small meal.
 Eating a huge dinner on a date is a sure-fire way to
 precipitate gas
 3Avoid gas-forming foods.
 Bacteria ferment the indigestible carbohydrates in
 beans, broccoli, cabbage, and other vegetables and
 fruits into gases
 4
 Drink peppermint tea.
 Replace an after-dinner drink with a cup or two of
 peppermint tea. This herb may give you some relief
 from the gas discomfort that follows a meal.
 5
 Emit the gas in private.
 As a last resort, head to the bathroom. If you feel
 bloated but are unable to pass gas easily, you can facili-
 tate the emission of gas as follows

 Kneel on the floor, bend forward, and stretch your arms out in
 front of you. Keep your buttocks bigh in the air, forming a tri-
 angle with your upper body and the floor
 Place paper towels on the floor. Kneel on the towels,
 bend forward to the floor, and stretch your arms out in
 front of you. Keep your buttocks high in the air, form-
 ing a triangle with your upper body and the floor. This
 position will force out the unwanted gas and relieve
 the pressure.
novelty-gift-ideas:

The Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook: Dating  Sex


                
            

            
            
novelty-gift-ideas:

The Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook: Dating  Sex