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Af, Ass, and Bruh: Niggas on Neptune when they homie get clapped by a flying diamond @typicalterome BRUHHHHH LEMME TELL YALL WHAT HAPPENED TODAY 💀 ight so a nigga had to get to work early because of a complicated ass reason. Anyway I pull up to the function and the first bullshit thing I see is the door. THE FUCKING DOOR HANDLE TO THE CFA GOT BOONK GANGED 💀💀😭😭 Deadass I can’t lie, I asked my manager and they said it was taken 💀 bruh I don’t live in chiraq, this shit shouldn’t be happening. Anyway I’m sitting there with my coworkers cause it’s 4:00 and we all clock in at 5 right. All of a sudden I notice my first period teacher walk into the building. So me and my other coworker duck because that’s her teacher too and we wasn’t tryna get caught lacking. Ima just call her Alexis. BUT THE WALKING DILDO NAMED JEREMIAH HAD TO RUIN IT. He gets my teachers attention and the NIGGA NOTICES US 😭 So the teacher walks over with his daughter that he’s always talking about in class and smiles at me and Alexis. “Hey *insert my last name*” This nigga only calls you by yo last bruh and it’s dumb af 💀 We shake hands and shit and then he introduces his daughter. “This is Leah. Hey Leah, this is the guy who I always talk about at home.” Then the nigga smiles at me. MY NIGGA WHY YOU TALKING ABOUT ME AT HOME 😭😭😭😭 fuckwrongwiteem. So now I’m all confused and shit and then Jeremiah nods his head at Leah and mouths the word “forehead” 💀 bruh ngl her forehead was on some Yo Gotti type shit 😭😭 then this nigga Jeremiah has the AUDACITY to say: “My head hurt.” 😭😭😭😭 IM WHEEZINGGGGGG AT THIS POINT AND MY teacher gets all confused and shit. “You good?” “Yeah, just a lot on my mind right now.” BOIIII ME AND JEREMIAH ARE CRYINGGGGGGGG and my teacher still confused. Meanwhile his daughter standing there all awkward and shit. Anyway they say goodbye and leave after that. After they’re gone, we was still cracking jokes. “Bruh her forehead was longer than my shift.” “Could see yo reflection on that shit.” “She looked like Sheen off that one episode of Jimmy Neutron.” I WAS GONEEEEEEE. Anyway it was 5 now and by then we was still crying. So I was at the register just crying and the customer comes up to me and says, “You alright?” “Yeah, just a lot on my mind right now.”
Af, Ass, and Bruh: Niggas on Neptune when they homie get
 clapped by a flying diamond
 @typicalterome
BRUHHHHH LEMME TELL YALL WHAT HAPPENED TODAY 💀 ight so a nigga had to get to work early because of a complicated ass reason. Anyway I pull up to the function and the first bullshit thing I see is the door. THE FUCKING DOOR HANDLE TO THE CFA GOT BOONK GANGED 💀💀😭😭 Deadass I can’t lie, I asked my manager and they said it was taken 💀 bruh I don’t live in chiraq, this shit shouldn’t be happening. Anyway I’m sitting there with my coworkers cause it’s 4:00 and we all clock in at 5 right. All of a sudden I notice my first period teacher walk into the building. So me and my other coworker duck because that’s her teacher too and we wasn’t tryna get caught lacking. Ima just call her Alexis. BUT THE WALKING DILDO NAMED JEREMIAH HAD TO RUIN IT. He gets my teachers attention and the NIGGA NOTICES US 😭 So the teacher walks over with his daughter that he’s always talking about in class and smiles at me and Alexis. “Hey *insert my last name*” This nigga only calls you by yo last bruh and it’s dumb af 💀 We shake hands and shit and then he introduces his daughter. “This is Leah. Hey Leah, this is the guy who I always talk about at home.” Then the nigga smiles at me. MY NIGGA WHY YOU TALKING ABOUT ME AT HOME 😭😭😭😭 fuckwrongwiteem. So now I’m all confused and shit and then Jeremiah nods his head at Leah and mouths the word “forehead” 💀 bruh ngl her forehead was on some Yo Gotti type shit 😭😭 then this nigga Jeremiah has the AUDACITY to say: “My head hurt.” 😭😭😭😭 IM WHEEZINGGGGGG AT THIS POINT AND MY teacher gets all confused and shit. “You good?” “Yeah, just a lot on my mind right now.” BOIIII ME AND JEREMIAH ARE CRYINGGGGGGGG and my teacher still confused. Meanwhile his daughter standing there all awkward and shit. Anyway they say goodbye and leave after that. After they’re gone, we was still cracking jokes. “Bruh her forehead was longer than my shift.” “Could see yo reflection on that shit.” “She looked like Sheen off that one episode of Jimmy Neutron.” I WAS GONEEEEEEE. Anyway it was 5 now and by then we was still crying. So I was at the register just crying and the customer comes up to me and says, “You alright?” “Yeah, just a lot on my mind right now.”

BRUHHHHH LEMME TELL YALL WHAT HAPPENED TODAY 💀 ight so a nigga had to get to work early because of a complicated ass reason. Anyway I pull u...

Arguing, Clothes, and Girls: Trial Begins For Man Accused of Murdering Girlfriend's Son 'Because He Thought He Was Gay' Qballeralert Trial Begins For Man Accused of Murdering Girlfriend's Son 'Because He Thought He Was Gay' - blogged by @baetoven_ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ The trial of Isauro Aguirre, the 37-year-old who is charged with murder for torturing and killing his girlfriend's 8-year-old son, has begun in LosAngeles. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Aguirre is accused of dousing GabrielFernandez in pepper spray, biting him, forcing him to eat his own vomit and feces, burning him with cigarettes, starving him, shooting him with a BB gun and beating him, alongside Gabriel's mother Pearl Fernandez. Prosecutors argue that Aguirre, who also reportedly made Gabriel wear girls clothes to school, abused the boy over an 8-month period because he thought he was gay. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ First responders found Gabriel gagged and restrained in a cabinet in his Palmdale, California home on May 22, 2013. He was taken off life support two days later after doctors determined he had no brain activity. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Defense attorneys acknowledge that Aguirre tortured Gabriel, but insisted the death was accidental and that the abuse only happened after the boy told his mom to leave Aguirre, propelling him into a violent rage. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Fernandez has also been charged with capital murder and will be tried separately. If convicted, they face the death penalty. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Four Los Angeles County social workers who were assigned to Gabriel's case also face child abuse charges, and charges for falsifying public records.
Arguing, Clothes, and Girls: Trial Begins For Man Accused of Murdering
 Girlfriend's Son 'Because He Thought He
 Was Gay'
 Qballeralert
Trial Begins For Man Accused of Murdering Girlfriend's Son 'Because He Thought He Was Gay' - blogged by @baetoven_ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ The trial of Isauro Aguirre, the 37-year-old who is charged with murder for torturing and killing his girlfriend's 8-year-old son, has begun in LosAngeles. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Aguirre is accused of dousing GabrielFernandez in pepper spray, biting him, forcing him to eat his own vomit and feces, burning him with cigarettes, starving him, shooting him with a BB gun and beating him, alongside Gabriel's mother Pearl Fernandez. Prosecutors argue that Aguirre, who also reportedly made Gabriel wear girls clothes to school, abused the boy over an 8-month period because he thought he was gay. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ First responders found Gabriel gagged and restrained in a cabinet in his Palmdale, California home on May 22, 2013. He was taken off life support two days later after doctors determined he had no brain activity. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Defense attorneys acknowledge that Aguirre tortured Gabriel, but insisted the death was accidental and that the abuse only happened after the boy told his mom to leave Aguirre, propelling him into a violent rage. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Fernandez has also been charged with capital murder and will be tried separately. If convicted, they face the death penalty. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Four Los Angeles County social workers who were assigned to Gabriel's case also face child abuse charges, and charges for falsifying public records.

Trial Begins For Man Accused of Murdering Girlfriend's Son 'Because He Thought He Was Gay' - blogged by @baetoven_ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ The trial...

Best Friend, Bless Up, and College: You can see the meaning of the universe in those two eyes. So my lil homegirl sent me a link to this coffee made by Dark Matter that’s called Unicorn Blood. Tried it. Not gon lie, delicious. But Unicorn Blood? Y’all doin too much. U coffee roasters Bruv a lot of y’all getting real comfortable selling good (but not life changing) coffee for $15.99 a bag and I’m thinking I might come for y’all. Coffee is my thing and if I had the time and the roasting equipment, I could stomp y’all out completely. And I know what I’d name my coffee blend, too: Mermaid Period. Y’all think Unicorn Blood is rare? Y’all ain’t seen rare. First of all a Unicorn is just a horse with a horn. That sh!t low key basic. A good plastic surgeon could make one. If a plastic surgeon could make the Kardashians Black bruv? He could throw a horn on a horse nah that’s basic. Mermaids? Bruv that’s half woman half fish. Up top she a sexy, comely ginger with seashells on her Tetas. Waist down? All flipper. Where’s the Punani? Exactly. Even if a mermaid had a Punani (which she can’t because issa flipper), would she even have a period? How? Do she wear faded, washed 7,000 times, soft-as-silk (😍) Period panty granny panties over her flipper? Or do she just freeball it bleeding out her sweet, precious, mythical, menstrual magnificence into the ocean with reckless abandon so that if a random scuba diver named Aiden from Newport Beach with floopy blond hair is swimming by and perchance catches a glorious taste, his heart explodes with love and affection and his head pops off his body and his scuba diving companion William is at his funeral just like “I know y’all will never believe me because I used to drop acid when I attended college but my best friend died after inhaling Mermaid Period then his head popped off his body and a shark ate it good night 😢.” Bam. Straight like that. It will be beautifully rich, reddish in color, deliciously fragrant, and invigorating - just like regular Period (But I’ll call it Mermaid Period because y’all love it when these beverage companies are extra 🤗). Coming to your grocery aisle fall 2018. Starbucks, Peet’s and Dark Matter - y’all on notice. Bless up 🤗😂😂😂
Best Friend, Bless Up, and College: You can see the meaning
 of the universe in those
 two eyes.
So my lil homegirl sent me a link to this coffee made by Dark Matter that’s called Unicorn Blood. Tried it. Not gon lie, delicious. But Unicorn Blood? Y’all doin too much. U coffee roasters Bruv a lot of y’all getting real comfortable selling good (but not life changing) coffee for $15.99 a bag and I’m thinking I might come for y’all. Coffee is my thing and if I had the time and the roasting equipment, I could stomp y’all out completely. And I know what I’d name my coffee blend, too: Mermaid Period. Y’all think Unicorn Blood is rare? Y’all ain’t seen rare. First of all a Unicorn is just a horse with a horn. That sh!t low key basic. A good plastic surgeon could make one. If a plastic surgeon could make the Kardashians Black bruv? He could throw a horn on a horse nah that’s basic. Mermaids? Bruv that’s half woman half fish. Up top she a sexy, comely ginger with seashells on her Tetas. Waist down? All flipper. Where’s the Punani? Exactly. Even if a mermaid had a Punani (which she can’t because issa flipper), would she even have a period? How? Do she wear faded, washed 7,000 times, soft-as-silk (😍) Period panty granny panties over her flipper? Or do she just freeball it bleeding out her sweet, precious, mythical, menstrual magnificence into the ocean with reckless abandon so that if a random scuba diver named Aiden from Newport Beach with floopy blond hair is swimming by and perchance catches a glorious taste, his heart explodes with love and affection and his head pops off his body and his scuba diving companion William is at his funeral just like “I know y’all will never believe me because I used to drop acid when I attended college but my best friend died after inhaling Mermaid Period then his head popped off his body and a shark ate it good night 😢.” Bam. Straight like that. It will be beautifully rich, reddish in color, deliciously fragrant, and invigorating - just like regular Period (But I’ll call it Mermaid Period because y’all love it when these beverage companies are extra 🤗). Coming to your grocery aisle fall 2018. Starbucks, Peet’s and Dark Matter - y’all on notice. Bless up 🤗😂😂😂

So my lil homegirl sent me a link to this coffee made by Dark Matter that’s called Unicorn Blood. Tried it. Not gon lie, delicious. But Unic...

Ass, Beautiful, and Bitch: When she takes you back to her place and you notice some red flags but you play it off cuz you're trying to get your dick wet teel very welcome here. When you trying to catch some soul snatching, toes curling, meat coiling. Metal twisting, ducks flapping, cows chirping, ball jiggling , nipples burning head nothing can come in the way. If I had a choice between answering grandpa Dales life alert call or that 2am you up text, Ima be excavating that pussy like the Miranda trench. I nut quick so I’ll be back in time to assist with his life alert. I hate sex. No honestly it’s complicated. You gotta find a apropoate time, place, what if she’s on her period that week? I don’t bang with that blood shit. Not to mention feelings can be caught like receivers, stds transferred like a bus ride, and hope crushed like a cervix. When them beautiful ebony cheeks spread and that feeling of paradise cause her walls to talk. Color coordinated and all that was a pipe dream. When there was chocolate mud cake waiting for me. Me, being the genuine guy that I am. Notified this girl there was shit in her ass. Bitch dead giggled and said stop lien. This probably the worse times for me to play 2 truths and a lie. What do you do when she doesn’t believe you? What you think I did? I love finger painting. When life gives you lemon make lemonade.
Ass, Beautiful, and Bitch: When she takes you back to her
 place and you notice some red
 flags but you play it off cuz you're
 trying to get your dick wet
 teel very welcome here.
When you trying to catch some soul snatching, toes curling, meat coiling. Metal twisting, ducks flapping, cows chirping, ball jiggling , nipples burning head nothing can come in the way. If I had a choice between answering grandpa Dales life alert call or that 2am you up text, Ima be excavating that pussy like the Miranda trench. I nut quick so I’ll be back in time to assist with his life alert. I hate sex. No honestly it’s complicated. You gotta find a apropoate time, place, what if she’s on her period that week? I don’t bang with that blood shit. Not to mention feelings can be caught like receivers, stds transferred like a bus ride, and hope crushed like a cervix. When them beautiful ebony cheeks spread and that feeling of paradise cause her walls to talk. Color coordinated and all that was a pipe dream. When there was chocolate mud cake waiting for me. Me, being the genuine guy that I am. Notified this girl there was shit in her ass. Bitch dead giggled and said stop lien. This probably the worse times for me to play 2 truths and a lie. What do you do when she doesn’t believe you? What you think I did? I love finger painting. When life gives you lemon make lemonade.

When you trying to catch some soul snatching, toes curling, meat coiling. Metal twisting, ducks flapping, cows chirping, ball jiggling , nip...