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perky: Don't worry about trying to impress men. Nature doesn't subscribe to beauty standards. You'll still get wifed. Your value extends beyond your spirit sack. Men are clowns and fail to live up to the standards they expect women's bodies to uphold Men are super horrible in my Instagram comments regarding my boobs being saggy but I didn't create myself so it's not my place to explain my body to anybody My boobs are actually pretty amazing. I can tuck my phone unde my tit and it doesn't drop. SAGGY BOOBS This just in: Gravity exists and causes breasts to sag! 🤯 All boobs are different. Some are perky. Most are saggy. Some boobs are more saggy than others. This is natural. Shaming people for having saggy boobs is shaming someone for something they have no control over. There is this idea of what the "perfect boobs" look like, and it makes pretty much everyone with breasts find a problem with how their breasts look: too big, too small, too asymmetrical, too perky, too saggy, etc. I am here to announce: It does not matter how your boobs look!!! Who gives a fuck how big or small or saggy or whatever they are?! There are soooo many more important things to focus your time and energy on than disliking parts of your body based on what society has decided is the "right" body. The kind of people shaming your breasts are the ones who don't deserve to be in your presence to begin with. I know it's very difficult to escape the societal pressure, but I highly encourage everyone to try to move past this and recognize that your boobs are awesome, and more importantly, YOU are awesome. Thank you @theslumflower for sharing this image and message! 💛
perky: Don't worry about
 trying to impress men.
 Nature doesn't
 subscribe to beauty
 standards. You'll still
 get wifed. Your value
 extends beyond your
 spirit sack.
 Men are clowns and fail
 to live up to the
 standards they expect
 women's bodies to
 uphold
 Men are super horrible in my Instagram
 comments regarding my boobs being saggy
 but I didn't create myself so it's not my place
 to explain my body to anybody
 My boobs are actually
 pretty amazing. I can
 tuck my phone unde
 my tit and it doesn't
 drop.
 SAGGY
 BOOBS
This just in: Gravity exists and causes breasts to sag! 🤯 All boobs are different. Some are perky. Most are saggy. Some boobs are more saggy than others. This is natural. Shaming people for having saggy boobs is shaming someone for something they have no control over. There is this idea of what the "perfect boobs" look like, and it makes pretty much everyone with breasts find a problem with how their breasts look: too big, too small, too asymmetrical, too perky, too saggy, etc. I am here to announce: It does not matter how your boobs look!!! Who gives a fuck how big or small or saggy or whatever they are?! There are soooo many more important things to focus your time and energy on than disliking parts of your body based on what society has decided is the "right" body. The kind of people shaming your breasts are the ones who don't deserve to be in your presence to begin with. I know it's very difficult to escape the societal pressure, but I highly encourage everyone to try to move past this and recognize that your boobs are awesome, and more importantly, YOU are awesome. Thank you @theslumflower for sharing this image and message! 💛

This just in: Gravity exists and causes breasts to sag! 🤯 All boobs are different. Some are perky. Most are saggy. Some boobs are more sa...

perky: These doggos are true bros until the end of time @DrSmashlove Reddit u/beesbuzzlots Every time I’m at the gym bruv it’s at least one “golf bro” there. U know this dude because he be doing oddly specific asf workouts 🤔. Oddly specific stretches. Arm swings that vaguely resemble a golf swing. But the key giveaway that Chadwick is a certified golf bro is he rocking that Titleist brand cap. U feel me? Like that’s him saying: “u peasants are here to look big in a t-shirt. I lift so I can add 10 yards to my drive ☺️.” (Side note I’ve been golfing for two years now bc I have to (for work) and the reason I do it rarely is bc u have to put in hours every wknd to yield modest improvements in ya game and I got better things to do on wknds like look at memes and take depression naps 🤗😂). Now then. Seeing all these Titleist caps got me thinking: Why isn’t this a word? Like this should be a thing. “Susan if I do say so myself you are looking delightfully Titlè today. Oh of course! No I mean it! Just fulsome and perky. Are you on your red river by chance(?) Yes? How did I guess? LOL you’re silly Susan. Just a wild premonition ☺️. Have an awesome day ❤️.” U feel me? “Erica! My goodness! U are looking Titlèier than I’ve ever seen before. That bathing suit can barely hold you lol! No, thank YOU! Your Titlèiness has made this trip to the pool absolutely worth my while!” U feel me? Like how could someone feel offended by being called Titlè? It’s such a delicate, gracious word! “Samantha I’m gonna be frank. You know I have zero filter LOL so here goes - bombs away ☺️. I’ve dated some wonderfully Titlè women before. Really. Just shapely and awesome. But you’re the Titlèist. Yes. YES. Don’t debate me on this SAMANTHA 😂. No YOU stop! Oh now you’re blushing ... LIKE NOBODY’S EVER CALLED YOU TITLÈ BEFORE I MEAN YOU’RE WEARING A SHEER TOP IT’S NOT LIKE YOU’RE TRYING TO HIDE YOUR TITLÈIOSITY 😂.” Titlèism = the study of mammaries. Titlèness = an abundance of mammarical wondrousness. U feel me? It’s 2018. Let’s make this a word. BLESS UP 😍😂😂😂 (pic: @gamzeilefelix)
perky: These doggos are true bros until the end
 of time
 @DrSmashlove
 Reddit u/beesbuzzlots
Every time I’m at the gym bruv it’s at least one “golf bro” there. U know this dude because he be doing oddly specific asf workouts 🤔. Oddly specific stretches. Arm swings that vaguely resemble a golf swing. But the key giveaway that Chadwick is a certified golf bro is he rocking that Titleist brand cap. U feel me? Like that’s him saying: “u peasants are here to look big in a t-shirt. I lift so I can add 10 yards to my drive ☺️.” (Side note I’ve been golfing for two years now bc I have to (for work) and the reason I do it rarely is bc u have to put in hours every wknd to yield modest improvements in ya game and I got better things to do on wknds like look at memes and take depression naps 🤗😂). Now then. Seeing all these Titleist caps got me thinking: Why isn’t this a word? Like this should be a thing. “Susan if I do say so myself you are looking delightfully Titlè today. Oh of course! No I mean it! Just fulsome and perky. Are you on your red river by chance(?) Yes? How did I guess? LOL you’re silly Susan. Just a wild premonition ☺️. Have an awesome day ❤️.” U feel me? “Erica! My goodness! U are looking Titlèier than I’ve ever seen before. That bathing suit can barely hold you lol! No, thank YOU! Your Titlèiness has made this trip to the pool absolutely worth my while!” U feel me? Like how could someone feel offended by being called Titlè? It’s such a delicate, gracious word! “Samantha I’m gonna be frank. You know I have zero filter LOL so here goes - bombs away ☺️. I’ve dated some wonderfully Titlè women before. Really. Just shapely and awesome. But you’re the Titlèist. Yes. YES. Don’t debate me on this SAMANTHA 😂. No YOU stop! Oh now you’re blushing ... LIKE NOBODY’S EVER CALLED YOU TITLÈ BEFORE I MEAN YOU’RE WEARING A SHEER TOP IT’S NOT LIKE YOU’RE TRYING TO HIDE YOUR TITLÈIOSITY 😂.” Titlèism = the study of mammaries. Titlèness = an abundance of mammarical wondrousness. U feel me? It’s 2018. Let’s make this a word. BLESS UP 😍😂😂😂 (pic: @gamzeilefelix)

Every time I’m at the gym bruv it’s at least one “golf bro” there. U know this dude because he be doing oddly specific asf workouts 🤔. Od...

perky: MORE PEANUT BUTTER! Shout to u pretty older ladies that keep the bra on when we smash bc u self conscious and afraid the young buck that u with gonna be judgy about them girls being stretch marky and hangy when that bra pop off y’all cute. Bashful. Y’all adorable. BUT LISTEN HERE COT DAMMIT IF U DONT LET THEM GIRLS COME OUT AND PLAY WE GON HAVE ISSUES I NEED THE LIGHTS ON SHINING ON EVERY MINOR DETAIL AND ‘IMPERFECTION’ (personally I call them ‘perfections’. Butt dimples? Cellulite? Stretch marks? U perfect to me, aint a cot damn thing ‘im’ about it 🤗). U 42 NOT 22 YA BOOBIES NOT SUPPOSE TO BE UPRIGHT AND FIRM STARING OFF IN SEPARATE DIRECTIONS LIKE FETTY WAP’S EYES THEY SUPPOSE TO FLOP DOWN A LIL BIT AND THAT’S PART OF THE BEAUTY OF THINE SHAPE WHY U EMBARRASSED OF SOMETHING CUTE IN THE FIRST PLACE! THAT’S WHY I DON’T BE WEARING PANTS OR BOXERS I WALK AROUND NEKKY BECAUSE I’M CUTE, BIH! MY PP HANDSOME! FVCK U THOUGHT! EVEN WHEN THE ROOM 67.5 DEGREES AND MR. PEEPATOUS (he Greek apparently - to my knowledge I aint Greek but he Greek lmao “OPA!!!”) HATH PARTLY RECEDED INTO MY BODY FOR WARMTH AND COMFORT AW HELL NAH! HE STILL HANDSOME! LET THEM GIRLS OUT, WOMAN! SENDING SELFIES ON THE BED LAYING FLAT ARMS UP APPLYING EIGHT FILTERS CONTORTING YA ENTIRE COT DAMN EXISTENCE TO GET THEM GIRLS LOOKING YOUNG AND PERKY I AINT ASK FOR THAT! LEMME SEE *YOU* COT DAMMIT! LIKE CREEPY HOMEBOY MR HOT SPOT BE SAYING: “YEAH! I *LIKE* **THAT**!!” YA GET ME! BLESS UP 😍❤️😂😂😂 (Pic: Reddit u-tfro9)
perky: MORE PEANUT BUTTER!
Shout to u pretty older ladies that keep the bra on when we smash bc u self conscious and afraid the young buck that u with gonna be judgy about them girls being stretch marky and hangy when that bra pop off y’all cute. Bashful. Y’all adorable. BUT LISTEN HERE COT DAMMIT IF U DONT LET THEM GIRLS COME OUT AND PLAY WE GON HAVE ISSUES I NEED THE LIGHTS ON SHINING ON EVERY MINOR DETAIL AND ‘IMPERFECTION’ (personally I call them ‘perfections’. Butt dimples? Cellulite? Stretch marks? U perfect to me, aint a cot damn thing ‘im’ about it 🤗). U 42 NOT 22 YA BOOBIES NOT SUPPOSE TO BE UPRIGHT AND FIRM STARING OFF IN SEPARATE DIRECTIONS LIKE FETTY WAP’S EYES THEY SUPPOSE TO FLOP DOWN A LIL BIT AND THAT’S PART OF THE BEAUTY OF THINE SHAPE WHY U EMBARRASSED OF SOMETHING CUTE IN THE FIRST PLACE! THAT’S WHY I DON’T BE WEARING PANTS OR BOXERS I WALK AROUND NEKKY BECAUSE I’M CUTE, BIH! MY PP HANDSOME! FVCK U THOUGHT! EVEN WHEN THE ROOM 67.5 DEGREES AND MR. PEEPATOUS (he Greek apparently - to my knowledge I aint Greek but he Greek lmao “OPA!!!”) HATH PARTLY RECEDED INTO MY BODY FOR WARMTH AND COMFORT AW HELL NAH! HE STILL HANDSOME! LET THEM GIRLS OUT, WOMAN! SENDING SELFIES ON THE BED LAYING FLAT ARMS UP APPLYING EIGHT FILTERS CONTORTING YA ENTIRE COT DAMN EXISTENCE TO GET THEM GIRLS LOOKING YOUNG AND PERKY I AINT ASK FOR THAT! LEMME SEE *YOU* COT DAMMIT! LIKE CREEPY HOMEBOY MR HOT SPOT BE SAYING: “YEAH! I *LIKE* **THAT**!!” YA GET ME! BLESS UP 😍❤️😂😂😂 (Pic: Reddit u-tfro9)

Shout to u pretty older ladies that keep the bra on when we smash bc u self conscious and afraid the young buck that u with gonna be judg...

perky: im on a dinner date what do i say shes so cute im so nervous Now see bruh women like to test men. Part of they mission on this earth is to set occasional bear traps for us to see what we say. A big part of being a successful grown ass man is SEEING the traps and walking AROUND them ☺️. One obvious trap is "do I look fat in this?" But that's a easy one. Like if u can't pass that test that's God telling u that u ain't ready for a grown woman yet and u need training wheels for a few more years before u get to that level of bicycle ridery lol. But see some bear traps are trickier. My favorite one is when u talking to a girl in her mid 30s and she hit u with that throwback pic from when she was 20: "OMG lol this came up on Facebook". MEN. STOP. BE CAREFUL. THIS SHIT LOOK INNOCUOUS BUT ISSA BOWL OF HONEY INSIDE A STEEL LEG TRAP THAT'S GON CLOSE ON U AND CRUNCH YO MF BONES UP, LISTEN. Here go the WRONG answer: "LOL HOLY FUCK! There go baby Kim! Lil 20 year old Kim lookin just about fine as FUCK! Look at them titties! Lookin all perky and shit! U prolly ain even need a bra for them miracle titties lol! And them thighs! Thick but no dimples on em FUCK. Look at that smile! Braces fresh off lookin like a LICK! LOL 20 YEAR OLD KIM COULD GET IT!!" Oh no. Oh hell no. *grandmotherly black dude voice* OH NO BAYBEH WHAT IZZU DOIN, LAWWWD BAYBEH. 😂 Here's how she gon reply: "😖", "k", "ew", "wow". U feel me? "Jeez". U GAVE THE WRONG FUCKING ANSWER BRUH. Lemme give u the RIGHT answer: "aw cute. You done glo'd the FUCK up tho - safe to say I met you at the perfect time 😍". Ok? That's a bear who saw the trap, did a small bear trap dance, danced around it, and lived to walk (and run! And dance!) another day. Ok? Copy and paste this response DON'T GET CREATIVE AND PUT IT IN YOUR "own voice" I DON'T TRUST YALL Bless up 😍😂😂😂
perky: im on a dinner date what do i say shes
 so cute im so nervous
Now see bruh women like to test men. Part of they mission on this earth is to set occasional bear traps for us to see what we say. A big part of being a successful grown ass man is SEEING the traps and walking AROUND them ☺️. One obvious trap is "do I look fat in this?" But that's a easy one. Like if u can't pass that test that's God telling u that u ain't ready for a grown woman yet and u need training wheels for a few more years before u get to that level of bicycle ridery lol. But see some bear traps are trickier. My favorite one is when u talking to a girl in her mid 30s and she hit u with that throwback pic from when she was 20: "OMG lol this came up on Facebook". MEN. STOP. BE CAREFUL. THIS SHIT LOOK INNOCUOUS BUT ISSA BOWL OF HONEY INSIDE A STEEL LEG TRAP THAT'S GON CLOSE ON U AND CRUNCH YO MF BONES UP, LISTEN. Here go the WRONG answer: "LOL HOLY FUCK! There go baby Kim! Lil 20 year old Kim lookin just about fine as FUCK! Look at them titties! Lookin all perky and shit! U prolly ain even need a bra for them miracle titties lol! And them thighs! Thick but no dimples on em FUCK. Look at that smile! Braces fresh off lookin like a LICK! LOL 20 YEAR OLD KIM COULD GET IT!!" Oh no. Oh hell no. *grandmotherly black dude voice* OH NO BAYBEH WHAT IZZU DOIN, LAWWWD BAYBEH. 😂 Here's how she gon reply: "😖", "k", "ew", "wow". U feel me? "Jeez". U GAVE THE WRONG FUCKING ANSWER BRUH. Lemme give u the RIGHT answer: "aw cute. You done glo'd the FUCK up tho - safe to say I met you at the perfect time 😍". Ok? That's a bear who saw the trap, did a small bear trap dance, danced around it, and lived to walk (and run! And dance!) another day. Ok? Copy and paste this response DON'T GET CREATIVE AND PUT IT IN YOUR "own voice" I DON'T TRUST YALL Bless up 😍😂😂😂

Now see bruh women like to test men. Part of they mission on this earth is to set occasional bear traps for us to see what we say. A big...

perky: hWORK!HARD TT PLAGUE HARD When you think her nipples are perky but you realise you just popped a plague boil and will shortly die.
perky: hWORK!HARD
 TT
 PLAGUE HARD
When you think her nipples are perky but you realise you just popped a plague boil and will shortly die.

When you think her nipples are perky but you realise you just popped a plague boil and will shortly die.