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Alive, America, and Beautiful: Keaton Patti @KeatonPatti I forced a bot to watch over 1,000 hours of Trump rallies and then asked it to write a Trump rally of its own. Here is the first page TRUMP RALLY INT. BIG ARBY 'S IN SOUTH WYOMKLAHOMA PRESIDENT TRUMP forces himself on a podium PRESIDENT TRUMP I just had a phone call with the economy. Jobs poured out of the phone. Great jobs. Tall jobs. steve Jobs. All at Kinko's The crowd cheers. It is full of real Americans (man with hard hat, man with harder hat, gun that is alive) PRESIDENT TRUMP (CONT'D) The United Snakes is doing so good. other countries are on fire. All the people on fire. Hot fire too. Not us. Our flag is so beautiful. President Trump salutes a flag that says: ARBY'S FOOD IS FINE TO EAT. The crowd howls. They love this flag of America. PRESIDENT TRUMP (CONT'D) I signed a bill. No more swamp. Swamp gone. Swamp is in Mexico now. It's on fire. Great deal for us The crowd chants: FOUR MORE SWAMPS! FOUR MORE SWAMPS! PRESIDENT TRUMP (CONT D) Foreign powers cheat us Canada steals our milk. China steals our milk. We only had one glass of milk left! Obama drank it. Not fair The crowd b s. They wanted that milk PRESIDENT TRUMP (CONT'D) But like President Ronald Rogaine, I will bring back the milk! The crowd roars. They still want that milk PRESIDENT TRUMP (CONT'D) A wall of milk. No criminals get through. Democrats want criminals to have the milk. No way. Milk comes from coal. We'll dig it up. All of the words are mispronounced. The crowd cheers. They hate pronunciations. They love milk. They start digging
Alive, America, and Beautiful: Keaton Patti
 @KeatonPatti
 I forced a bot to watch over 1,000 hours
 of Trump rallies and then asked it to
 write a Trump rally of its own. Here is the
 first page
 TRUMP RALLY
 INT. BIG ARBY 'S IN SOUTH WYOMKLAHOMA
 PRESIDENT TRUMP forces himself on a podium
 PRESIDENT TRUMP
 I just had a phone call with the
 economy. Jobs poured out of the
 phone. Great jobs. Tall jobs. steve
 Jobs. All at Kinko's
 The crowd cheers. It is full of real Americans (man with hard
 hat, man with harder hat, gun that is alive)
 PRESIDENT TRUMP (CONT'D)
 The United Snakes is doing so good.
 other countries are on fire. All
 the people on fire. Hot fire too.
 Not us. Our flag is so beautiful.
 President Trump salutes a flag that says: ARBY'S FOOD IS FINE
 TO EAT. The crowd howls. They love this flag of America.
 PRESIDENT TRUMP (CONT'D)
 I signed a bill. No more swamp.
 Swamp gone. Swamp is in Mexico now.
 It's on fire. Great deal for us
 The crowd chants: FOUR MORE SWAMPS! FOUR MORE SWAMPS!
 PRESIDENT TRUMP (CONT D)
 Foreign powers cheat us Canada
 steals our milk. China steals our
 milk. We only had one glass of milk
 left! Obama drank it. Not fair
 The crowd b s. They wanted that milk
 PRESIDENT TRUMP (CONT'D)
 But like President Ronald Rogaine,
 I will bring back the milk!
 The crowd roars. They still want that milk
 PRESIDENT TRUMP (CONT'D)
 A wall of milk. No criminals get
 through. Democrats want criminals
 to have the milk. No way. Milk
 comes from coal. We'll dig it up.
 All of the words are mispronounced. The crowd cheers. They
 hate pronunciations. They love milk. They start digging
Fucking, Internet, and Lol: tash @yeahstyles * Follow my uber driver just threatened to drive the car off a cliff help me Uber Support e @Uber Support Follow UBER @yeahstyles That is absolutely not okay. Please DM us your email address associated to your Uber account so we can follow up. RETWEETS LIKES 2,780 1,945 2:14 AM-20 Mar 2016 twlboaj: verticalfrontalsomething: yourpaperpal: kirsty-not-kristy: amoxli: ok so I don’t usu reblog this stuff here but last year I had a horrible experience with an Airbnb host who threatened to bust my kneecaps, stalk me and murder me right? And not only did I GO TO THE POLICE before cancelling the reservation, but I also provided copies of that documentation to Airbnb customer service (I should mention after hunting down that number in the depths of the stupid internet and being on hold for an hour). Did they give me a refund for the months I’d paid in advance? No - they accused me of lying! A few weeks later in a fit of desperation, a coworker suggested I tweet to Airbnb. Ok. I have maybe 30 followers on Twitter, and didn’t really use it at the time, but I thought, fuck it. Nothing to lose now. I made a half assed attempt at an overly indignant tweet with plenty of capitalization, and you know what happened? Within the HOUR. It was taken down. I was DMed by a CSR. And I was given a FULL. REFUND. $1500 like THAT. I don’t know what kind of dystopic fucking reality we live in where police reports mean nothing and the PR value from a half assed tweet to 30 followers outweighs the safety of my kneecaps, but. Social media… Lesson learned, I guess. Rebooting this addition because holy shit??? Corporations care way more about their brand than your safety. Exploit that. I had to send an angry tweet at my power company. Within twenty minutes, I was getting a phone call, and my problem was fixed by the time I left the massage appointment I had. Okay so this is important and all but original post is a joke that’s literally a picture of Harry Styles lol
Fucking, Internet, and Lol: tash
 @yeahstyles
 *
 Follow
 my uber driver just threatened to drive the car
 off a cliff help me

 Uber Support e
 @Uber Support
 Follow
 UBER
 @yeahstyles That is absolutely not okay. Please
 DM us your email address associated to your
 Uber account so we can follow up.
 RETWEETS LIKES
 2,780 1,945
 2:14 AM-20 Mar 2016
twlboaj:

verticalfrontalsomething:

yourpaperpal:

kirsty-not-kristy:

amoxli:


ok so I don’t usu reblog this stuff here but last year I had a horrible experience with an Airbnb host who threatened to bust my kneecaps, stalk me and murder me right? And not only did I GO TO THE POLICE before cancelling the reservation, but I also provided copies of that documentation to Airbnb customer service (I should mention after hunting down that number in the depths of the stupid internet and being on hold for an hour). Did they give me a refund for the months I’d paid in advance? No - they accused me of lying! 
A few weeks later in a fit of desperation, a coworker suggested I tweet to Airbnb. Ok. I have maybe 30 followers on Twitter, and didn’t really use it at the time, but I thought, fuck it. Nothing to lose now. I made a half assed attempt at an overly indignant tweet with plenty of capitalization, and you know what happened? 
Within the HOUR. It was taken down. I was DMed by a CSR. And I was given a FULL. REFUND. 
$1500 like THAT. 
I don’t know what kind of dystopic fucking reality we live in where police reports mean nothing and the PR value from a half assed tweet to 30 followers outweighs the safety of my kneecaps, but. Social media… Lesson learned, I guess.


Rebooting this addition because holy shit???

Corporations care way more about their brand than your safety. Exploit that.


I had to send an angry tweet at my power company. Within twenty minutes, I was getting a phone call, and my problem was fixed by the time I left the massage appointment I had. 

Okay so this is important and all but original post is a joke that’s literally a picture of Harry Styles lol

twlboaj: verticalfrontalsomething: yourpaperpal: kirsty-not-kristy: amoxli: ok so I don’t usu reblog this stuff here but last year I h...

Friends, Head, and Memes: fetyrn 2m Coke head don' t want offset says chrisbrown don’t want NO SMOKE 💨‼️ Should these two grown men chop it up with a phone call or nah 👎 ➡️DM Your friends ➡️Follow @bars
Friends, Head, and Memes: fetyrn 2m
 Coke head don' t want
offset says chrisbrown don’t want NO SMOKE 💨‼️ Should these two grown men chop it up with a phone call or nah 👎 ➡️DM Your friends ➡️Follow @bars

offset says chrisbrown don’t want NO SMOKE 💨‼️ Should these two grown men chop it up with a phone call or nah 👎 ➡️DM Your friends ➡️Follow @...