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puke: Sat, Jun 22, 18:36 Hello traveller, I am your guide. Are you ready to begin your quest? Hello stranger, what do I need to do, to complete your request. You have to recover a long time lost manuscript held by a famous necromancer. Your journey begins in a forest. The left of you is a mountain with a large boulder blocking it's entrance, in front of you is an ancient graveyard. Some of the greatest heroes of the realm rest there I would like to investigate the grave- yard of it looks chill or haunted. Not strong enough to push that boulder As you enter the graveyard you notice old tombstones crumbling, scribed in language too ancient to be known by any living creature. While searching around you find a crypt, the front door has been knocked open, you can hear a soft gust of wind coming from inside. I copy the ancient text, best as possible. I use 'produce flame' when I enter the crypt. As you go in the light from your spell fills the room, you notice the coffins that adorn the walls and a spiral staircase that leads further down, at the bottom of it lies a large room, broken pillars, and a statue of Sild, the Warlock. A very powerful wizard from centuries past. Further away, with barely any light around it, you see a creature in a black robe facing away, as it ignores you on purpouse. There's a corpse on an alter in front of it, and it's hands deep inside it As I enter the room I go "excuuuuuse me, but it's not nice to sacrifice people" en hold my flame ready to attack if he would attack me... The creature in black turns annoyed by your interference, you see a beetle crawl out of it's eye socket, it's deformed face makes your stomach sick, as you think that eating all those fries before entering a graveyard was a bad idea. A purple light starts forming as he moves his hands together With a quick look around you notice a large floating orb 3 meters above the creature's head. You remember the old legend of Sild's orb, which he used teleport anywhere in the world. Nasty! God damn it those fries! I shoot my flame to the orb so the bug guy can't escape. And pull out my scimitar ready to attack As your flame hits, the orb shatters into what seems to be glass spikes, flying everywhere, further damaging the room. Some hit the creature, tearing his black robes just to reveal pieces of rotting flesh. The stench of death takes over the room, you can't hold those fries anymore, as you make an effort to not puke onto your brand new heels -and you hear your own voice in your head WHY WOULD YOU GO INTO A GRAVEYARD USING HEELS WOMAN ? As you get distracted, the creature fires his spell, you quickly block it with your scimitar, but it flies away from your hand. You are disarmed and the creature starts running in your direction "I DON'T I WANTED SOMETHING DIFFERENT THEN THE USUAL SNEAKERS as I replied to my own question. I take them of hold them as a weapon ready to defend myself against the ugly bug dude. And try to figure out if I can back to my scimitar. As you dual-wield your brand new puke-free heels you notice a two fast moving shadows moving behind the creature. Desperation starts to hit as you are outnumbered and your scimitar is nowhere to be seen, suddenly the shadows jump onto the creatures head and start attacking him. IT'S YOUR FAMILIARS, your thank yourself for installing that catdoor years ago. The creature loses balance just as it reaches you, slipping and faceplanting your puddle fries and cola that rested on the floor. You plunge it's head with both heels. It explodes and the creature slowly starts turning into ashes... You give a well deserved pet to them. The comforting purring sounds fills the room, you feel safe now. One of your familiars starts digging into the ash pile, as he found something of value there. IT'S A FORTUNE COOKIE! I go like "Oooh cookie!" I break it open and eat the cookie while I read. And also keep petting them, like a good rub under the chin. You slowly chew the cookie, the slight chocolate taste is well welcome at this moment, unravel the note, and it says , hit me up for fries & movies sometime. Sept Her profile said she was into RPGs
puke: Sat, Jun 22, 18:36
 Hello traveller, I am your guide. Are you
 ready to begin your quest?
 Hello stranger, what do I need to do,
 to complete your request.
 You have to recover a long time
 lost manuscript held by a famous
 necromancer. Your journey begins in a
 forest. The left of you is a mountain with
 a large boulder blocking it's entrance,
 in front of you is an ancient graveyard.
 Some of the greatest heroes of the
 realm rest there
 I would like to investigate the grave-
 yard of it looks chill or haunted. Not
 strong enough to push that boulder
 As you enter the graveyard you notice
 old tombstones crumbling, scribed in
 language too ancient to be known by
 any living creature. While searching
 around you find a crypt, the front door
 has been knocked open, you can hear
 a soft gust of wind coming from inside.
 I copy the ancient text, best as
 possible. I use 'produce flame' when I
 enter the crypt.
 As you go in the light from your spell
 fills the room, you notice the coffins that
 adorn the walls and a spiral staircase
 that leads further down, at the bottom
 of it lies a large room, broken pillars,
 and a statue of Sild, the Warlock. A very
 powerful wizard from centuries past.
 Further away, with barely any light
 around it, you see a creature in a black
 robe facing away, as it ignores you on
 purpouse. There's a corpse on an alter
 in front of it, and it's hands deep inside
 it
 As I enter the room I go "excuuuuuse
 me, but it's not nice to sacrifice
 people" en hold my flame ready to
 attack if he would attack me...
 The creature in black turns annoyed
 by your interference, you see a
 beetle crawl out of it's eye socket, it's
 deformed face makes your stomach
 sick, as you think that eating all those
 fries before entering a graveyard was
 a bad idea. A purple light starts forming
 as he moves his hands together
 With a quick look around you notice a
 large floating orb 3 meters above the
 creature's head. You remember the
 old legend of Sild's orb, which he used
 teleport anywhere in the world.
 Nasty! God damn it those fries! I shoot
 my flame to the orb so the bug guy
 can't escape. And pull out my scimitar
 ready to attack
 As your flame hits, the orb shatters into
 what seems to be glass spikes, flying
 everywhere, further damaging the
 room. Some hit the creature, tearing
 his black robes just to reveal pieces of
 rotting flesh. The stench of death takes
 over the room, you can't hold those
 fries anymore, as you make an effort
 to not puke onto your brand new heels
 -and you hear your own voice in your
 head WHY WOULD YOU GO INTO A
 GRAVEYARD USING HEELS WOMAN ?
 As you get distracted, the creature
 fires his spell, you quickly block it with
 your scimitar, but it flies away from
 your hand. You are disarmed and the
 creature starts running in your direction
 "I DON'T I WANTED SOMETHING
 DIFFERENT THEN THE USUAL
 SNEAKERS as I replied to my own
 question. I take them of hold them
 as a weapon ready to defend myself
 against the ugly bug dude. And try to
 figure out if I can back to my scimitar.
 As you dual-wield your brand new
 puke-free heels you notice a two fast
 moving shadows moving behind the
 creature. Desperation starts to hit as
 you are outnumbered and your scimitar
 is nowhere to be seen, suddenly the
 shadows jump onto the creatures head
 and start attacking him. IT'S YOUR
 FAMILIARS, your thank yourself for
 installing that catdoor years ago.
 The creature loses balance just as it
 reaches you, slipping and faceplanting
 your puddle fries and cola that rested
 on the floor.
 You plunge it's head with both heels. It
 explodes and the creature slowly starts
 turning into ashes... You give a well
 deserved pet to them. The comforting
 purring sounds fills the room, you feel
 safe now. One of your familiars starts
 digging into the ash pile, as he found
 something of value there.
 IT'S A FORTUNE COOKIE!
 I go like "Oooh cookie!" I break it open
 and eat the cookie while I read. And
 also keep petting them, like a good
 rub under the chin.
 You slowly chew the cookie, the slight
 chocolate taste is well welcome at this
 moment, unravel the note, and it says
 , hit me up for fries &
 movies sometime.
 Sept
Her profile said she was into RPGs

Her profile said she was into RPGs

puke: ④ 9:52 PM ●#000 Sprint令 95%) SAVED cursed Normie MemesTM Follow the_tired activist This girl just ate the Big Tower of Meat, made it on the wall of fame, and somehow still had room for dessert: BIRGER 47,807 likes Comments ge_hao_SHES EVERYTHING I WANTED TO BE 6h 2 likes Reply bitch_im_puddin Brain says 'Marry her' h Reply jd cali Wife material 6h Reply madgirlwithoutabox1 My new hero 6h 3 likes Reply mr.blueberry_ Honestly h Reply mr.blueberry. This is sexy 6hReply danyellenaomi Fuckin boss 6h Reply Comments 6h Reply jd cali Wife material 6h Reply discount_supervillan She's my spirit animal 5h Reply maya_lazygurl_ Me 6h Reply arielle_bruh Good for her! Damn! 6h Reply aint your_waifu Goals 6h Reply theasiandish My kind of girl 5h Reply ohwowlolcool I'm proud of her 5h like Reply los_pierce_the veils_ She's a legend 5h 3 likes Reply oooo Sprint 9:42 PM Photo relationships.usa Omg so l faced my biggest fear today and went to the beach in a swimsuit Liked by lillianishard, petition2givedirkstriderabreak and 328,028 others relationships.usa she's so beautiful i love this! View all 6,975 comments eat ass.780 ewww this makes me wanna puke she needs to take care of herslef instead of eating everything she sees 1w 1 like Reply eat_ass.780 @itsniyaaati she should be ashamed thats not healthy and shes treating herself like a piece of shit that's disgusting 1w Reply cool_kid_roblox Where's the chick I just see a whale 1w 2 likes Reply names.alex Good to know we encourage obesity now 1w 2 likes Reply harrisonrolleston It's her fault for being fat 1w 2 likes Reply nOble__pizarr0 0 Ew 1w 1 like Reply nOble__pizarr0_0 I think that's kinda unhealthy 1w 1 like Reply Post Add a comment as irlskitty... pardonmewhileipanic: witchofglitter: just gonna leave this here… it was never really about health ^^^^^ IT WAS NEVER REALLY ABOUT HEALTH
puke: ④
 9:52 PM
 ●#000 Sprint令
 95%)
 SAVED
 cursed Normie MemesTM
 Follow
 the_tired activist
 This girl just ate the Big Tower of Meat,
 made it on the wall of fame, and somehow
 still had room for dessert:
 BIRGER
 47,807 likes

 Comments
 ge_hao_SHES EVERYTHING I WANTED
 TO BE
 6h 2 likes Reply
 bitch_im_puddin Brain says 'Marry her'
 h Reply
 jd cali Wife material
 6h Reply
 madgirlwithoutabox1 My new hero
 6h 3 likes Reply
 mr.blueberry_ Honestly
 h Reply
 mr.blueberry. This is sexy
 6hReply
 danyellenaomi Fuckin boss
 6h Reply

 Comments
 6h Reply
 jd cali Wife material
 6h Reply
 discount_supervillan She's my spirit
 animal
 5h Reply
 maya_lazygurl_ Me
 6h Reply
 arielle_bruh Good for her! Damn!
 6h Reply
 aint your_waifu Goals
 6h Reply
 theasiandish My kind of girl
 5h Reply
 ohwowlolcool I'm proud of her
 5h like Reply
 los_pierce_the veils_ She's a legend
 5h 3 likes Reply

 oooo Sprint
 9:42 PM
 Photo
 relationships.usa
 Omg so l faced my biggest fear today and
 went to the beach in a swimsuit
 Liked by lillianishard,
 petition2givedirkstriderabreak and 328,028 others
 relationships.usa she's so beautiful i love this!
 View all 6,975 comments

 eat ass.780 ewww this makes me
 wanna puke she needs to take care of
 herslef instead of eating everything she
 sees
 1w 1 like Reply
 eat_ass.780 @itsniyaaati she should be
 ashamed thats not healthy and shes
 treating herself like a piece of shit that's
 disgusting
 1w Reply
 cool_kid_roblox Where's the chick I just
 see a whale
 1w 2 likes Reply
 names.alex Good to know we encourage
 obesity now
 1w 2 likes Reply
 harrisonrolleston It's her fault for being
 fat
 1w 2 likes Reply
 nOble__pizarr0 0 Ew
 1w 1 like Reply
 nOble__pizarr0_0 I think that's kinda
 unhealthy
 1w 1 like Reply
 Post
 Add a comment as irlskitty...
pardonmewhileipanic:
witchofglitter:

just gonna leave this here…


it was never really about health

^^^^^
IT WAS NEVER REALLY ABOUT HEALTH

pardonmewhileipanic: witchofglitter: just gonna leave this here… it was never really about health ^^^^^ IT WAS NEVER REALLY ABOUT HEA...

puke: cranniesinmybrain: why-animals-do-the-thing: enghurrd: calleo: the-last-teabender: hiboudeluxe: pancakemilkshake: pancakemilkshake: Kitties who eat too fast get THE  PUNISHMENT  BOWL Tags: wow this seems cruel Sometimes cats eat so fast they puke bruh. It’s not healthy. There are a ton of people reblogging this actually happy that there’s a solution for this. my cat does this. and honestly this might solve his problems… i.e. SLOW THE FUCK DOWN, CAT. I’m not gonna lie, I think I need one of these for me. Dishes like this also help with dogs who eat too fast; it significantly lowers their chances of choking or bloat. You know, these looks all silly but… they are perfect! Is your cat annoyed? Is your cat depressed? Does your cat eat too fast and suffocated itself? Does your cat eat too much? Is your cat castrated? Do your cats fight over food? These are all perfect for that! Your cats like to hunt and have fun with their food so it’s better to give them some “difficulties” and way to use their brains: this is why a lot of these are called “intelligent toys”, because they stimulate play and hunt. “I don’t have money for that!” DON’T WORRY! You can create your own intelligent toy with whatever you have at home! This is better for cats than dogs, mostly because dogs try to destroy the toy first so I won’t suggest you to use toiler paper rolls or plastic bottles! “My cat is too old for this stuff, it would stop eating!” YOU CAN DO SOMETHING ELSE! Is your cat too old to play, buy a lot of little bowls and instead of putting its food in a single one, split the food around the house. The cat will go around, searching for its food in a easy way and having a little hunt/play that will surely make its day a little more fun! A+ examples of cat food enrichment! I swear these all are awesome because we have one cat but she likes to play with her food.
puke: cranniesinmybrain:

why-animals-do-the-thing:

enghurrd:



calleo:

the-last-teabender:

hiboudeluxe:

pancakemilkshake:

pancakemilkshake:
Kitties who eat too fast get THE  PUNISHMENT  BOWL


Tags: wow this seems cruel
Sometimes cats eat so fast they puke bruh. It’s not healthy. There are a ton of people reblogging this actually happy that there’s a solution for this.

my cat does this. and honestly this might solve his problems… i.e. SLOW THE FUCK DOWN, CAT.

I’m not gonna lie, I think I need one of these for me.

Dishes like this also help with dogs who eat too fast; it significantly lowers their chances of choking or bloat.












You know, these looks all silly but… they are perfect! Is your cat annoyed? Is your cat depressed? Does your cat eat too fast and suffocated itself? Does your cat eat too much? Is your cat castrated? Do your cats fight over food?
These are all perfect for that! Your cats like to hunt and have fun with their food so it’s better to give them some “difficulties” and way to use their brains: this is why a lot of these are called “intelligent toys”, because they stimulate play and hunt.
“I don’t have money for that!” DON’T WORRY! You can create your own intelligent toy with whatever you have at home!







This is better for cats than dogs, mostly because dogs try to destroy the toy first so I won’t suggest you to use toiler paper rolls or plastic bottles!
“My cat is too old for this stuff, it would stop eating!” YOU CAN DO SOMETHING ELSE! Is your cat too old to play, buy a lot of little bowls and instead of putting its food in a single one, split the food around the house. The cat will go around, searching for its food in a easy way and having a little hunt/play that will surely make its day a little more fun!


A+ examples of cat food enrichment!

I swear these all are awesome because we have one cat but she likes to play with her food.

cranniesinmybrain: why-animals-do-the-thing: enghurrd: calleo: the-last-teabender: hiboudeluxe: pancakemilkshake: pancakemilksha...

puke: z @ONLYAVGEL 1d girls who weren't scared to say they liked 1d in 2012 are braver than the marines 207 15.2K 54.9K C-Cups @cameronunion 8h This Is disgusting 4 01 49 z @ONLYAVGEL 8h grow up 2 ) 229 C-Cups @cameronunion 8h Grow up? You're insulting the people that help give you freedom. It's not about being grown, it's about respect. 73 z @ONLYAVGEL 7h it's a joke. just like this country and i don't need to respect anything or anyone 3 643 Toxic Kiwi @DesireeWolf182 2h The military is why you have freedom. If you cannot appreciate them then you do not deserve freedom 6 O 10 z @ONLYAVGEL 2h wrong. we have freedom because of one direction 4 062560 Toxic Kiwi @DesireeWolf182 2h That literally made no sense. Get over yourself and admit to being disrespectful to people who give their lives so we can live feely. 2 2 z @ONLYAVGEL 2h who gives us freedom? one direction 80% the military 20% 2,280 votes 21 hours 18 minutes left one direction O 80% the military 20% 2,280 votes 21 hours 17 minutes left 5 64 79 Toxic Kiwi @DesireeWolf182 2h Anyone who votes One Direction is a privileged scumbag like you. Spoiled kids make me wanna puke. t01 love, kylie @FEELINGBLOO Replying to @DesireeWolf182 and @ONLYAVGEL one direction literally fought for our right to be skinny in america Imao open a history book 2018-02-28, 10:54 PM Anyone who votes One Direction is a privileged scumbag like you. Spoiled kids make me wanna puke. ロ1 melanie @lilanemic. 2h There's literally pictures of Harry Styles fighting in World War ll you can't argue with facts. He's an American hero. z @ONLYAVGEL 2h thank u so much for bringing this up. it's a piece of history that many like to overlook 96 t13 198 198S
puke: z @ONLYAVGEL 1d
 girls who weren't scared to say they
 liked 1d in 2012 are braver than the
 marines
 207
 15.2K
 54.9K
 C-Cups @cameronunion 8h
 This Is disgusting
 4
 01
 49
 z @ONLYAVGEL 8h
 grow up
 2
 ) 229
 C-Cups @cameronunion 8h
 Grow up? You're insulting the people
 that help give you freedom. It's not
 about being grown, it's about respect.
 73
 z @ONLYAVGEL 7h
 it's a joke. just like this country and i
 don't need to respect anything or
 anyone
 3
 643

 Toxic Kiwi @DesireeWolf182 2h
 The military is why you have freedom. If
 you cannot appreciate them then you
 do not deserve freedom
 6
 O 10
 z @ONLYAVGEL 2h
 wrong. we have freedom because of
 one direction
 4
 062560
 Toxic Kiwi @DesireeWolf182 2h
 That literally made no sense. Get over
 yourself and admit to being
 disrespectful to people who give their
 lives so we can live feely.
 2
 2
 z @ONLYAVGEL 2h
 who gives us freedom?
 one direction
 80%
 the military
 20%
 2,280 votes 21 hours 18 minutes left

 one direction O
 80%
 the military
 20%
 2,280 votes 21 hours 17 minutes left
 5
 64
 79
 Toxic Kiwi @DesireeWolf182 2h
 Anyone who votes One Direction is a
 privileged scumbag like you. Spoiled
 kids make me wanna puke.
 t01
 love, kylie
 @FEELINGBLOO
 Replying to @DesireeWolf182 and @ONLYAVGEL
 one direction literally fought for our
 right to be skinny in america Imao
 open a history book
 2018-02-28, 10:54 PM

 Anyone who votes One Direction is a
 privileged scumbag like you. Spoiled
 kids make me wanna puke.
 ロ1
 melanie @lilanemic. 2h
 There's literally pictures of Harry Styles
 fighting in World War ll you can't argue
 with facts. He's an American hero.
 z @ONLYAVGEL 2h
 thank u so much for bringing this up.
 it's a piece of history that many like to
 overlook
 96
 t13 198
 198S
puke: "We all know you are faking being sick to avoid the class" Funny Popcorn This happened to me while i was in elementary school. Our mrs. math teacher really hated my guts for no reason really. She would always find an axcuse to lower my grades or blame me for something i didn't do. I was a pretty sick kid that had bad astma, dermatitis and was sickish in general. Thinking back, I think her hating me had a lot to do with that, as she felt i had "special treatment and privileges" One day we were doing a test and i started feeling very bad. It came to the point of really needing to puke but i held it in because i knew she wouldn't believe me. Theni started shaking and kinda puked a bit in my mouth so i stood up and started to go towards the toilet (we had a rule that anybody who has to go to the toilet can do so without asking) She ofcourse stopped me and told me to sit back down. I tried explaining but she wouldn't have it. One girl stood up to me and said something like "he is really pale and shaking and sweating, i think he needs to go home". That caused the teacher to go on a 5 minute rant how i'm a spoiled liar who didn't study for the test and now i'm trying to fool everybody and that i'm taking away their precious test time and they should hate me for that" I said i really need to puke and she just scoffed saying "You ain't going anywhere with your lies so you might as well do your imaginary puking here'". Yeah... You can guess what happened next. Not sure if this is compliance because i couldn't hold it in anymore anyway but i was so happy while doing it. First i puked a bit trough my arm and then it all went out. Across her desk (grading book was ruined) and all over the floor. She tried to blame me saying that i "threw up by force" but the principle didn't buy it after the doctor examined me. Nothing special happened to her but she never bothered me again. Everyone knows “that kid” who was sick in class but nobody knows “that teacher” who continues to harass a kid after they’ve thrown up all over the classroom
puke: "We all know you are faking being sick to avoid the class"
 Funny Popcorn
 This happened to me while i was in elementary school. Our mrs. math teacher really
 hated my guts for no reason really. She would always find an axcuse to lower my
 grades or blame me for something i didn't do. I was a pretty sick kid that had bad
 astma, dermatitis and was sickish in general. Thinking back, I think her hating me had
 a lot to do with that, as she felt i had "special treatment and privileges"
 One day we were doing a test and i started feeling very bad. It came to the point of
 really needing to puke but i held it in because i knew she wouldn't believe me. Theni
 started shaking and kinda puked a bit in my mouth so i stood up and started to go
 towards the toilet (we had a rule that anybody who has to go to the toilet can do so
 without asking)
 She ofcourse stopped me and told me to sit back down. I tried explaining but she
 wouldn't have it. One girl stood up to me and said something like "he is really pale and
 shaking and sweating, i think he needs to go home". That caused the teacher to go on
 a 5 minute rant how i'm a spoiled liar who didn't study for the test and now i'm trying
 to fool everybody and that i'm taking away their precious test time and they should
 hate me for that" I said i really need to puke and she just scoffed saying "You ain't
 going anywhere with your lies so you might as well do your imaginary puking here'".
 Yeah... You can guess what happened next. Not sure if this is compliance because i
 couldn't hold it in anymore anyway but i was so happy while doing it. First i puked a
 bit trough my arm and then it all went out. Across her desk (grading book was ruined)
 and all over the floor. She tried to blame me saying that i "threw up by force" but the
 principle didn't buy it after the doctor examined me. Nothing special happened to her
 but she never bothered me again.
Everyone knows “that kid” who was sick in class but nobody knows “that teacher” who continues to harass a kid after they’ve thrown up all over the classroom

Everyone knows “that kid” who was sick in class but nobody knows “that teacher” who continues to harass a kid after they’ve thrown up all...

puke: u/Fio_Fiddlesworth ld imgur So my Mom sold one of her schnauzer puppies to an aspiring photographer DrSmashlove So u know how I said a few weeks ago that I tried all the healthy ice creams and I was done with them, and I was going back to real ice cream? About that. See there comes a time in yo life when u realize: u just ain’t about that life. It come at different times for different people. Some of u pretty ladies go to music festivals. And y’all got that friend Mandy. Mandy got a lil marketing gig in the city where she make a good wage. Went to a good school. Seem normal. But she different. U knew it when u hit Lollapalooza with her and watched her pop a Molly, pop three pills where she ain’t even know what pills they are, some cool white kid in a Larry Bird jersey just handed them to y’all so she took them, smoked a blunt, then snorted coke with that same kid in a port a potty. U seen her 15 min later vibing to Chance the Rapper while a lil bit of puke dribbled out the corner of her mouth while she looked around crazily and on that day, u had a realization: u ain’t bout that life. Mandy? Bout that life. U? Not about that life 😂. That’s me with ice cream. I went to Mariano super market. Grabbed some Ben and Jerry Cookie Dough. Seen it had 60 grams fat - 1,120 calories-pint. Gently caressed my 6 pack over my t shirt. And reflected on the fact that I’m just not bout that life. So I copped some skinny cow ice cream sandwiches. Each one got 160 calories. I eat two to get satisfied and that’s plenty. I gotta eat seven them b!tches to equal one pint of Ben and Jerry. I used to be bigger. Had a 36 waist. Ate whatever I wanted. I can’t go back to that place. I’m a new smash. U feel me? I’m in a different place. I’ll eat B + J once in a blue moon bc it (and Jeni’s) are still the GOATs but for daily use, imma stick to these skinny cows. P.s. Skinny cow please make them rectangular with a paper (not plastic) cover. On the rare occasion my mama bought us a box of generic ice cream sandwiches, peeling the paper off as it sticks to the ice cream on the side and then liiiiiicking it up the side was the best part. The adult equivalent is peeling the panties off a woman, seeing them stick to the Nani, and liiiiiiiicking...well, y’all get the point 🤗. Bless up! 😂😂😂
puke: u/Fio_Fiddlesworth ld imgur
 So my Mom sold one of her schnauzer
 puppies to an aspiring photographer
 DrSmashlove
So u know how I said a few weeks ago that I tried all the healthy ice creams and I was done with them, and I was going back to real ice cream? About that. See there comes a time in yo life when u realize: u just ain’t about that life. It come at different times for different people. Some of u pretty ladies go to music festivals. And y’all got that friend Mandy. Mandy got a lil marketing gig in the city where she make a good wage. Went to a good school. Seem normal. But she different. U knew it when u hit Lollapalooza with her and watched her pop a Molly, pop three pills where she ain’t even know what pills they are, some cool white kid in a Larry Bird jersey just handed them to y’all so she took them, smoked a blunt, then snorted coke with that same kid in a port a potty. U seen her 15 min later vibing to Chance the Rapper while a lil bit of puke dribbled out the corner of her mouth while she looked around crazily and on that day, u had a realization: u ain’t bout that life. Mandy? Bout that life. U? Not about that life 😂. That’s me with ice cream. I went to Mariano super market. Grabbed some Ben and Jerry Cookie Dough. Seen it had 60 grams fat - 1,120 calories-pint. Gently caressed my 6 pack over my t shirt. And reflected on the fact that I’m just not bout that life. So I copped some skinny cow ice cream sandwiches. Each one got 160 calories. I eat two to get satisfied and that’s plenty. I gotta eat seven them b!tches to equal one pint of Ben and Jerry. I used to be bigger. Had a 36 waist. Ate whatever I wanted. I can’t go back to that place. I’m a new smash. U feel me? I’m in a different place. I’ll eat B + J once in a blue moon bc it (and Jeni’s) are still the GOATs but for daily use, imma stick to these skinny cows. P.s. Skinny cow please make them rectangular with a paper (not plastic) cover. On the rare occasion my mama bought us a box of generic ice cream sandwiches, peeling the paper off as it sticks to the ice cream on the side and then liiiiiicking it up the side was the best part. The adult equivalent is peeling the panties off a woman, seeing them stick to the Nani, and liiiiiiiicking...well, y’all get the point 🤗. Bless up! 😂😂😂

So u know how I said a few weeks ago that I tried all the healthy ice creams and I was done with them, and I was going back to real ice c...