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Alive, Ass, and Bad: @NikoUgy The first nigga to ever beat his meat had to be like YOODOOO0OD0ODD00oo0d OO0O000000O!l! 12/11/16, 06:48 2,585 RETWEETS 3,399 LIKES This was literally me at the age of 13 June 13 2008 2:39 pm. It was a Friday and I just came home from my last day of school. My friend isiah hooked up my MySpace page so a nigga can accumulate clout. As soon as you click my profile sponegebob and Patrick, strapped up with hella bands and two bad bitches twerking with a song from my lil Wayne play mix. When you scrolled all the way to the bottom my boy threw some porn on there for the real ones who be creeping to see who's in your top 5 of friends. I had some slow ass dial up computer my mom got from the flee market. I was home watching big wet ebonys booties vol 7. Watching asses clap with force strong enough to cause a sonic boom. Everything happen so fast. I look down making eye contact like it's o time. I swear a spirit took over me and I hit my meat with a nasty 4 piece combo. My shit felt like a volcano. I tried to stop but couldn't.Ended up pulling a plaxico burgess and took a shot to the foot. My grandma pulled up to crib swiftly. I can hear her coming down the stairs slow as fuck. My whole lower body numb. Im stuck in the chair tryna clear this sin off my screen. This computer ain't shutting off. I had to drop kick the monitor to shut off. My grandma walk in like "what you doing I bought you some Burger King". I'm using the spirit energy form my anvcestors to keep me alive. Whole nut drained my power levels. I went up stairs and fucked up them bk chicken fries. Shit was prob the greatest feeling ever. Ain't nothing like that first nut. forgot to wash my hands tho.
Alive, Ass, and Bad: @NikoUgy
 The first nigga to ever beat his
 meat had to be like
 YOODOOO0OD0ODD00oo0d
 OO0O000000O!l!
 12/11/16, 06:48
 2,585 RETWEETS 3,399 LIKES
This was literally me at the age of 13 June 13 2008 2:39 pm. It was a Friday and I just came home from my last day of school. My friend isiah hooked up my MySpace page so a nigga can accumulate clout. As soon as you click my profile sponegebob and Patrick, strapped up with hella bands and two bad bitches twerking with a song from my lil Wayne play mix. When you scrolled all the way to the bottom my boy threw some porn on there for the real ones who be creeping to see who's in your top 5 of friends. I had some slow ass dial up computer my mom got from the flee market. I was home watching big wet ebonys booties vol 7. Watching asses clap with force strong enough to cause a sonic boom. Everything happen so fast. I look down making eye contact like it's o time. I swear a spirit took over me and I hit my meat with a nasty 4 piece combo. My shit felt like a volcano. I tried to stop but couldn't.Ended up pulling a plaxico burgess and took a shot to the foot. My grandma pulled up to crib swiftly. I can hear her coming down the stairs slow as fuck. My whole lower body numb. Im stuck in the chair tryna clear this sin off my screen. This computer ain't shutting off. I had to drop kick the monitor to shut off. My grandma walk in like "what you doing I bought you some Burger King". I'm using the spirit energy form my anvcestors to keep me alive. Whole nut drained my power levels. I went up stairs and fucked up them bk chicken fries. Shit was prob the greatest feeling ever. Ain't nothing like that first nut. forgot to wash my hands tho.

This was literally me at the age of 13 June 13 2008 2:39 pm. It was a Friday and I just came home from my last day of school. My friend isia...

Af, Bitch, and Drinking: When you take 4 shots and dont feel anything, so you take 3 more and they all hit you at once Nothing had me more fucked up then when I got drunk for the first time. I'm not a drinker. I'm at this house party with my bro Omari. There was some girls playing drinking games. Shit look easy. First off the liquor look like water so it must be light work. I took my first shot and my whole chest felt like the fire nation was causing havoc. The burning sensation went away. Wow this how being drunk feels? I took more shots than Kobe. I go to the bathroom to check my self out. 2 seconds later my whole life changed. It was like getting hit with a tekken combo. Life it self was beginning to lag. I shouted my homie name. Every single syllable, pronunciation and sound that came out my mouth was straight gibberish. I needed sub titles. I'm all the way fucked up. My whole body symmetry shifted. I took one step and couldn't feel the ground. My next step I came down hard af. My little ACL evaporated to dust. I pulled a Paul George. I'm Yelling "man down, man down" niggas wasn't paying me no mind. Matter fact the Dj turned the music up. Unforgettable by French was playing and you know New York niqqas wanna clap it out every where they go. Everybody getting lit to the beat while I'm in last stand behind the bathroom door. My nigga Omari ain't check on me once. One bitch got so drunk she took a shit in the bathtub next to me instead of getting help. People who drink a different breed. I died that faithful night. I'm writing this from heavens gates.
Af, Bitch, and Drinking: When you take 4 shots and dont
 feel anything, so you take 3 more
 and they all hit you at once
Nothing had me more fucked up then when I got drunk for the first time. I'm not a drinker. I'm at this house party with my bro Omari. There was some girls playing drinking games. Shit look easy. First off the liquor look like water so it must be light work. I took my first shot and my whole chest felt like the fire nation was causing havoc. The burning sensation went away. Wow this how being drunk feels? I took more shots than Kobe. I go to the bathroom to check my self out. 2 seconds later my whole life changed. It was like getting hit with a tekken combo. Life it self was beginning to lag. I shouted my homie name. Every single syllable, pronunciation and sound that came out my mouth was straight gibberish. I needed sub titles. I'm all the way fucked up. My whole body symmetry shifted. I took one step and couldn't feel the ground. My next step I came down hard af. My little ACL evaporated to dust. I pulled a Paul George. I'm Yelling "man down, man down" niggas wasn't paying me no mind. Matter fact the Dj turned the music up. Unforgettable by French was playing and you know New York niqqas wanna clap it out every where they go. Everybody getting lit to the beat while I'm in last stand behind the bathroom door. My nigga Omari ain't check on me once. One bitch got so drunk she took a shit in the bathtub next to me instead of getting help. People who drink a different breed. I died that faithful night. I'm writing this from heavens gates.

Nothing had me more fucked up then when I got drunk for the first time. I'm not a drinker. I'm at this house party with my bro Omari. There ...

Being Alone, Animals, and Bruh: Proud @DrSmashlove DUE TO AN INFECTION THAT TOOK GVER MY LIVER MY VET GAVE ME 1 MONTH TO LIVE... THAT WASMONTHS AG AND T HAVE MADE A FULL RECOVERY How extra is the State of Montana? Pulled off yesterday at a rest area and sign literally said "RATTLESNAKE AREA. KEEP ON THE SIDEWALK." Bruh. Firstly. Of all animals to live at a rest stop...snakes? They gon fuck around and build a place where u suppose to pee...in a rattlesnake habitat? Like let's look at this shit from a snake's perspective. I whip my pecker-wood out. This snake look at my shit eye to eye (I mean mines got one eye but that's neither here nor there 😁). This is a snake! His vision ok but it can't be that great! For all he know...my joint is a snake from a rival gang. Like I could picture the rattlesnake eyeing up my dick like "WHAT SET JEW CLAIM ESSAY? I SAID...WHAT SET JEW CLAIM, *ESSAY*. OH. OK BUTTERCUP. JEW JUST WANNA SHOW UP IN MY HOOD...AND SPIT THAT YELLOW VENOM OUT YOUR MOUTH...TRYEENG TO THREATEN *ME*, PENDEJO? JEW MUST NOT HAVE ASKED AROUND ABOUT ME ESSAY. OKAY ESSAY. I SEE YOU. WELL LEMME SHOW YOU SOME *REAL* VENOM ESSAY SAY KHELLO TO MY LEETO FRIEN!" And of course my PP try to be polite and reply in a rarified British accent (my PP is British all of a sudden don't ask) like "EW IT'S MERELY A MISUNDERSTANDING, CHAP! INDEED I AM NOT OF THE SERPENT SPECIES AT ALL! I AM MERELY A HUMAN PENISÈ! I TRUST THAT I HAVE CLEARED UP ANY CONFUSION, CHEERIO!" Of course that would probably only piss Pedro off and make him call his essays like "AYE CHICO! JAIME! THIS BRITISH FUCKBOY IS TALKEEN SHIT. LET'S MAKE SURE TO GIVE HIM A WARM MONTANA WELCOME 😁." All I wanted to do was pee, now my dick getting ate by several rattlesnakes wearing bandanas, creased khakis and Nike Cortez walking shoes. Now I have no genitalia. And I'm bleeding to death. And I can't call 911 because it's no motherfucking reception here in the mountains. I'm dying cold and alone while these rattlesnakes have a cook-out grilling carne Asada while Analisa and Consuela show off they new tattoos next to my dying carcass. THANKS MONTANA 😢...😂😂😂
Being Alone, Animals, and Bruh: Proud
 @DrSmashlove
 DUE TO AN INFECTION THAT
 TOOK GVER MY LIVER
 MY VET GAVE ME 1 MONTH TO
 LIVE... THAT WASMONTHS AG
 AND T HAVE MADE
 A FULL RECOVERY
How extra is the State of Montana? Pulled off yesterday at a rest area and sign literally said "RATTLESNAKE AREA. KEEP ON THE SIDEWALK." Bruh. Firstly. Of all animals to live at a rest stop...snakes? They gon fuck around and build a place where u suppose to pee...in a rattlesnake habitat? Like let's look at this shit from a snake's perspective. I whip my pecker-wood out. This snake look at my shit eye to eye (I mean mines got one eye but that's neither here nor there 😁). This is a snake! His vision ok but it can't be that great! For all he know...my joint is a snake from a rival gang. Like I could picture the rattlesnake eyeing up my dick like "WHAT SET JEW CLAIM ESSAY? I SAID...WHAT SET JEW CLAIM, *ESSAY*. OH. OK BUTTERCUP. JEW JUST WANNA SHOW UP IN MY HOOD...AND SPIT THAT YELLOW VENOM OUT YOUR MOUTH...TRYEENG TO THREATEN *ME*, PENDEJO? JEW MUST NOT HAVE ASKED AROUND ABOUT ME ESSAY. OKAY ESSAY. I SEE YOU. WELL LEMME SHOW YOU SOME *REAL* VENOM ESSAY SAY KHELLO TO MY LEETO FRIEN!" And of course my PP try to be polite and reply in a rarified British accent (my PP is British all of a sudden don't ask) like "EW IT'S MERELY A MISUNDERSTANDING, CHAP! INDEED I AM NOT OF THE SERPENT SPECIES AT ALL! I AM MERELY A HUMAN PENISÈ! I TRUST THAT I HAVE CLEARED UP ANY CONFUSION, CHEERIO!" Of course that would probably only piss Pedro off and make him call his essays like "AYE CHICO! JAIME! THIS BRITISH FUCKBOY IS TALKEEN SHIT. LET'S MAKE SURE TO GIVE HIM A WARM MONTANA WELCOME 😁." All I wanted to do was pee, now my dick getting ate by several rattlesnakes wearing bandanas, creased khakis and Nike Cortez walking shoes. Now I have no genitalia. And I'm bleeding to death. And I can't call 911 because it's no motherfucking reception here in the mountains. I'm dying cold and alone while these rattlesnakes have a cook-out grilling carne Asada while Analisa and Consuela show off they new tattoos next to my dying carcass. THANKS MONTANA 😢...😂😂😂

How extra is the State of Montana? Pulled off yesterday at a rest area and sign literally said "RATTLESNAKE AREA. KEEP ON THE SIDEWALK." Bru...

Alive, Doctor, and Fire: ROY P BENAVIDEZ MEDAL OF HONOR MSG US ARMY VIETNAM PH AUG 5 1935 NOV 29 1998 BELOVED HUSRAND FATHER&GRANDPA @Remembebary Medal of Honor recipient, Master Sergeant Roy Benavidez. He had 37 puncture wounds, exposed intestine, broken jaw, and eyes caked in blood. He was pronounced dead until he spit in the face of a doctor who was zipping him up in a body bag Six Hours in Hell - On May 2, 1968, a 12-man Special Forces patrol, which included nine Montagnard tribesmen, was surrounded by an NVA (North Vietnamese Army) infantry battalion of about 1,000 men. Benavidez heard the radio appeal for help and boarded a helicopter to respond. Armed only with a knife, he jumped from the helicopter carrying his medical bag and ran to help the trapped patrol. Benavidez "distinguished himself by a series of daring and extremely valorous actions... and because of his gallant choice to join voluntarily his comrades who were in critical straits, to expose himself constantly to withering enemy fire, and his refusal to be stopped despite numerous severe wounds, saved the lives of at least eight men." At one point in the battle an NVA soldier accosted him and stabbed him with his bayonet. Benavidez pulled it out, yanked out his own knife, killed him and kept going, leaving his knife in the NVA soldier's body. After the battle, he was evacuated to the base camp, examined, and thought to be dead. As he was placed in a body bag among the other dead in body bags, he was suddenly recognized by a friend who called for help. A doctor came and examined him but believed Benavidez was dead. The doctor was about to zip up the body bag when Benavidez managed to spit in his face, alerting the doctor that he was alive. Benavidez had a total of 37 separate bullet, bayonet, and shrapnel wounds from the six-hour fight with the enemy battalion - On February 24, 1981, President Ronald Reagan presented Roy P. Benavidez with the Medal of Honor. Reagan turned to the press and said, "If the story of his heroism were a movie script, you would not believe it - Thank you Benavidez for your heroism, your selfless sacrifices you made in Vietnam shall never be forgotten. Rest in Peace!🇺🇸
Alive, Doctor, and Fire: ROY P
 BENAVIDEZ
 MEDAL OF HONOR
 MSG US ARMY
 VIETNAM PH
 AUG 5 1935
 NOV 29 1998
 BELOVED HUSRAND
 FATHER&GRANDPA
 @Remembebary
 Medal of Honor recipient, Master Sergeant
 Roy Benavidez. He had 37 puncture wounds,
 exposed intestine, broken jaw, and eyes caked
 in blood. He was pronounced dead until he
 spit in the face of a doctor who was
 zipping him up in a body bag
Six Hours in Hell - On May 2, 1968, a 12-man Special Forces patrol, which included nine Montagnard tribesmen, was surrounded by an NVA (North Vietnamese Army) infantry battalion of about 1,000 men. Benavidez heard the radio appeal for help and boarded a helicopter to respond. Armed only with a knife, he jumped from the helicopter carrying his medical bag and ran to help the trapped patrol. Benavidez "distinguished himself by a series of daring and extremely valorous actions... and because of his gallant choice to join voluntarily his comrades who were in critical straits, to expose himself constantly to withering enemy fire, and his refusal to be stopped despite numerous severe wounds, saved the lives of at least eight men." At one point in the battle an NVA soldier accosted him and stabbed him with his bayonet. Benavidez pulled it out, yanked out his own knife, killed him and kept going, leaving his knife in the NVA soldier's body. After the battle, he was evacuated to the base camp, examined, and thought to be dead. As he was placed in a body bag among the other dead in body bags, he was suddenly recognized by a friend who called for help. A doctor came and examined him but believed Benavidez was dead. The doctor was about to zip up the body bag when Benavidez managed to spit in his face, alerting the doctor that he was alive. Benavidez had a total of 37 separate bullet, bayonet, and shrapnel wounds from the six-hour fight with the enemy battalion - On February 24, 1981, President Ronald Reagan presented Roy P. Benavidez with the Medal of Honor. Reagan turned to the press and said, "If the story of his heroism were a movie script, you would not believe it - Thank you Benavidez for your heroism, your selfless sacrifices you made in Vietnam shall never be forgotten. Rest in Peace!🇺🇸

Six Hours in Hell - On May 2, 1968, a 12-man Special Forces patrol, which included nine Montagnard tribesmen, was surrounded by an NVA (Nort...