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Ass, Bitch, and Bruh: When you at the doctor gettin a physical and he go to grab ya balls bruh if you get a physical and your doctor is a female, it’s the worst. Lemme set the scene for y’all. 5th grade, a young nigga is playing football every weekend after school. My team was the Vikings and our quarterback was some ass, so we were a pretty good representation of the NFL team. Anyway I needed to submit a physical before practices began. So my mom swerve up to a doctors to get a physical. Whole time during the car ride I’m thinking: “Wow, some random ass nigga is gon fondle my ballsack.” Luckily and sadly that wasn’t the case. So I get called in to go next and we walk back to the doctors room. The doctor inside the room is a 30 year old white dude so I’m like, “Ay no homo.” “Huh?” He goes. “I just had to say that before we begin.” They do the standard heart beat and ear checks and shit right. Then all of sudden the doctor says, “Mom, if you’d like to step out, another doctor will be in to do the rest.” So now I’m hyperventilating like fucking spongebob cause I thought ol dude was the one who was gon fondle me word to my uncle. But nah that wasn’t the case. So I’m sitting in the room by myself waiting for this other doctor to come in when the door opens. Ight so when I say this bitch was a pornstar in the making, I’m not exaggerating 🚫🧢 . Her face was a 9 and her body an 11 word to George Bush. And her fucking white coat was open just enough to see her cleavage word to sedimentary rocks. “Hi!” she says. “Go ahead and drop your pants for me and we can begin.” So me being me, I drop my pants and stand there in my underwear like a dumbass. She laughs at me and my ears get hot. “Those too.” She said. So slowly I drop my shit right, and now she gets on her knees in front of me. BOYYYYYYYY do you know how difficult it is to make your dick soft again when it hard? So she puts on gloves and grabs my nuts like it’s a fucking bowl of popcorn. “Look right and cough for me.” I tried to cough but I whimpered instead 💀 i was focusing so hard on NOT being hard. It was like my dick was a metalloid. Anyway she released her grip and I finally started breathing again. I pulled my pants up so fucking fast. Anyway moral of the story is, Naruto is stronger than Goku
Ass, Bitch, and Bruh: When you at the doctor gettin a
 physical and he go to grab ya balls
bruh if you get a physical and your doctor is a female, it’s the worst. Lemme set the scene for y’all. 5th grade, a young nigga is playing football every weekend after school. My team was the Vikings and our quarterback was some ass, so we were a pretty good representation of the NFL team. Anyway I needed to submit a physical before practices began. So my mom swerve up to a doctors to get a physical. Whole time during the car ride I’m thinking: “Wow, some random ass nigga is gon fondle my ballsack.” Luckily and sadly that wasn’t the case. So I get called in to go next and we walk back to the doctors room. The doctor inside the room is a 30 year old white dude so I’m like, “Ay no homo.” “Huh?” He goes. “I just had to say that before we begin.” They do the standard heart beat and ear checks and shit right. Then all of sudden the doctor says, “Mom, if you’d like to step out, another doctor will be in to do the rest.” So now I’m hyperventilating like fucking spongebob cause I thought ol dude was the one who was gon fondle me word to my uncle. But nah that wasn’t the case. So I’m sitting in the room by myself waiting for this other doctor to come in when the door opens. Ight so when I say this bitch was a pornstar in the making, I’m not exaggerating 🚫🧢 . Her face was a 9 and her body an 11 word to George Bush. And her fucking white coat was open just enough to see her cleavage word to sedimentary rocks. “Hi!” she says. “Go ahead and drop your pants for me and we can begin.” So me being me, I drop my pants and stand there in my underwear like a dumbass. She laughs at me and my ears get hot. “Those too.” She said. So slowly I drop my shit right, and now she gets on her knees in front of me. BOYYYYYYYY do you know how difficult it is to make your dick soft again when it hard? So she puts on gloves and grabs my nuts like it’s a fucking bowl of popcorn. “Look right and cough for me.” I tried to cough but I whimpered instead 💀 i was focusing so hard on NOT being hard. It was like my dick was a metalloid. Anyway she released her grip and I finally started breathing again. I pulled my pants up so fucking fast. Anyway moral of the story is, Naruto is stronger than Goku

bruh if you get a physical and your doctor is a female, it’s the worst. Lemme set the scene for y’all. 5th grade, a young nigga is playing f...

Af, Ass, and Beard: When you watchin Black Panther wit yo boo and Michael B. Jordan come on the screen Girls who have fetishes for niggas with beards are the worse. My beard don’t connect so I know my limits are short and few. So when a Michael b Jordan head ass nigga pulls up I have no chance. It’s like Yamcha vs Jiren. So I’m on a double date, my bro, his girl, my girl, and I. We went to see Black Panther. Girls ruthless when they be describing they celebrirty crush. They be having no remorse describing features and attributes that We don’t have. I don’t got that much Virtual Currency to level up. While watching the trailers the girls converse about how hype they are for the movie and the fine line of melanated cast memebers. All throughout the movie when ever one of the dudes appeared shirtless like they on a jet beauty magazine they creamed. Michael B came up me and my bro both seen our girls mouth start to water like in the cartoons when you know they bout to fuck a plate of food. The ride home is where things really turned up. We were having a convo when sex comes up. Sharing each other thoughts my bro ask ( the girl I’m in a date with) So you wouldn’t let a dude hit before marriage?” She respond swiftly “Only if he fine af”. I try to throw myself in there like “ you know I’m up next “. Her response “Boy bye, like I said Girl only if he fine I can ride his dick into the sunset”. I can see my bro giving me eye contact through the rear view mirror. It’s hard to drive when you see disappointment in the rear view. A single tear nosedived from eyes down my cheek. I pulled over to the side of the road and let my girl drive the rest of the way. I’m tryna build something and she playing games. Bury me in Wakanda where the land flows with milk and honey and everybody look like me. Every time I play fortnite I land in lonely lodge. A nigga don’t even be tryna play no more I just sit there and let myself get engulfed in the storm.
Af, Ass, and Beard: When you watchin Black Panther wit yo
 boo and Michael B. Jordan come on the
 screen
Girls who have fetishes for niggas with beards are the worse. My beard don’t connect so I know my limits are short and few. So when a Michael b Jordan head ass nigga pulls up I have no chance. It’s like Yamcha vs Jiren. So I’m on a double date, my bro, his girl, my girl, and I. We went to see Black Panther. Girls ruthless when they be describing they celebrirty crush. They be having no remorse describing features and attributes that We don’t have. I don’t got that much Virtual Currency to level up. While watching the trailers the girls converse about how hype they are for the movie and the fine line of melanated cast memebers. All throughout the movie when ever one of the dudes appeared shirtless like they on a jet beauty magazine they creamed. Michael B came up me and my bro both seen our girls mouth start to water like in the cartoons when you know they bout to fuck a plate of food. The ride home is where things really turned up. We were having a convo when sex comes up. Sharing each other thoughts my bro ask ( the girl I’m in a date with) So you wouldn’t let a dude hit before marriage?” She respond swiftly “Only if he fine af”. I try to throw myself in there like “ you know I’m up next “. Her response “Boy bye, like I said Girl only if he fine I can ride his dick into the sunset”. I can see my bro giving me eye contact through the rear view mirror. It’s hard to drive when you see disappointment in the rear view. A single tear nosedived from eyes down my cheek. I pulled over to the side of the road and let my girl drive the rest of the way. I’m tryna build something and she playing games. Bury me in Wakanda where the land flows with milk and honey and everybody look like me. Every time I play fortnite I land in lonely lodge. A nigga don’t even be tryna play no more I just sit there and let myself get engulfed in the storm.

Girls who have fetishes for niggas with beards are the worse. My beard don’t connect so I know my limits are short and few. So when a Michae...

Memes, Money, and Police: Grandmother Finds Grandson's Plans For School Shooting a Day Before Parkland Massacre @balleralert Grandmother Finds Grandson’s Plans For School Shooting a Day Before Parkland Massacre - Blogged by: @RaquelHarrisTV ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Another student was plotting a mass shooting at a Washington state high school but didn’t get away with it because his grandmother turned his plans into police. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ On Tuesday, just a day before the Parkland, Fla. high school terror attack, Catherine Katsel-O’Connor called the police after she found notes in her grandson’s journal about shooting students at ACES high school. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ The grandmother says she was alarmed by the evil ideas her grandson Joshua Alexander O’Connor’s kept in his journal. But what shocked her more was the semi-automatic rifle she found in his guitar case. "I'm preparing myself for the school shooting,” the teenager wrote, according to court documents. “I can’t wait. My aim has gotten much more accurate ... I can’t wait to walk into that class and blow all those f--ers away." ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ As soon as authorities found out about the man’s plans they pulled him from his Kamiak High School class and arrested him. While in custody Joshua attempted to run away and kicked one of the police. In the end, police were able to subdue the man. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Joshua has been charged with attempted murder, assault of a police officer and armed robbery because of money he had stolen to fund his attack. His bail was set at $5 million.
Memes, Money, and Police: Grandmother Finds Grandson's
 Plans For School Shooting a Day
 Before Parkland Massacre
 @balleralert
Grandmother Finds Grandson’s Plans For School Shooting a Day Before Parkland Massacre - Blogged by: @RaquelHarrisTV ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Another student was plotting a mass shooting at a Washington state high school but didn’t get away with it because his grandmother turned his plans into police. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ On Tuesday, just a day before the Parkland, Fla. high school terror attack, Catherine Katsel-O’Connor called the police after she found notes in her grandson’s journal about shooting students at ACES high school. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ The grandmother says she was alarmed by the evil ideas her grandson Joshua Alexander O’Connor’s kept in his journal. But what shocked her more was the semi-automatic rifle she found in his guitar case. "I'm preparing myself for the school shooting,” the teenager wrote, according to court documents. “I can’t wait. My aim has gotten much more accurate ... I can’t wait to walk into that class and blow all those f--ers away." ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ As soon as authorities found out about the man’s plans they pulled him from his Kamiak High School class and arrested him. While in custody Joshua attempted to run away and kicked one of the police. In the end, police were able to subdue the man. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Joshua has been charged with attempted murder, assault of a police officer and armed robbery because of money he had stolen to fund his attack. His bail was set at $5 million.

Grandmother Finds Grandson’s Plans For School Shooting a Day Before Parkland Massacre - Blogged by: @RaquelHarrisTV ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Anot...

Bless Up, Cars, and Driving: Was trying to sneak a photo when this pretty girl suddenly turned around and flashed me this big smile @DrSmashlove Reddit u/erisedwild So yesterday bruv I was driving and my windshield wiper fluid ran out. Bro I done told y’all before, I don’t know about cars. I’m good at a few very specific things. Being handy ain’t one of them. So after some momentary panic, I hit the market and buy some wiper fluid. Then I consulted my rock. My confidante. My soulmate: Google 😍. First I had to know where’s the button in my car to pop the hood. Googled 🤗. Then I had to figure out where is that stick that props up the hood! Googled 😁. Finally, “where do I put wiper fluid”. Googled that but this time the google assistant wanna pop up like “Look for the large plastic cap in the lower left hand corner. Also, our algorithm indicates that You Might Like: ‘how to freshen your Nani naturally with Organic Lavender 🌷’, ‘Kylie’s New Perfectly Pregnant Eye Shadow - Reviews and On-Skin Test!’ and ‘Cosmopolitan: 17 Ways to Blow his Mind in Bed!’” And by then I’m like “U KNOW WHAT GOOGLE ENUF OF U TODAY GOODBYE ASF 😂”. And that got me thinking 🤔. What happened before Google? In the 1980s, what if I pulled over and didn’t know how to fill my wiper fluid? Simple. I’d pull over. I’d fiddle with my hood for 45 minutes while my girl stay in the car, worried for her life. Then a nice redneck man would pull over in a pickup... [to continue the story y’all gotta chune in to Part 2, bless up! 😂😂😂]
Bless Up, Cars, and Driving: Was trying to sneak a photo when this
 pretty girl suddenly turned around and
 flashed me this big smile
 @DrSmashlove
 Reddit u/erisedwild
So yesterday bruv I was driving and my windshield wiper fluid ran out. Bro I done told y’all before, I don’t know about cars. I’m good at a few very specific things. Being handy ain’t one of them. So after some momentary panic, I hit the market and buy some wiper fluid. Then I consulted my rock. My confidante. My soulmate: Google 😍. First I had to know where’s the button in my car to pop the hood. Googled 🤗. Then I had to figure out where is that stick that props up the hood! Googled 😁. Finally, “where do I put wiper fluid”. Googled that but this time the google assistant wanna pop up like “Look for the large plastic cap in the lower left hand corner. Also, our algorithm indicates that You Might Like: ‘how to freshen your Nani naturally with Organic Lavender 🌷’, ‘Kylie’s New Perfectly Pregnant Eye Shadow - Reviews and On-Skin Test!’ and ‘Cosmopolitan: 17 Ways to Blow his Mind in Bed!’” And by then I’m like “U KNOW WHAT GOOGLE ENUF OF U TODAY GOODBYE ASF 😂”. And that got me thinking 🤔. What happened before Google? In the 1980s, what if I pulled over and didn’t know how to fill my wiper fluid? Simple. I’d pull over. I’d fiddle with my hood for 45 minutes while my girl stay in the car, worried for her life. Then a nice redneck man would pull over in a pickup... [to continue the story y’all gotta chune in to Part 2, bless up! 😂😂😂]

So yesterday bruv I was driving and my windshield wiper fluid ran out. Bro I done told y’all before, I don’t know about cars. I’m good at a ...