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Community, Crime, and Dancing: PULSE dancing-out-my-pants: 3 years ago today 49 innocent people lost their lives in a hate crime against the LGBTQ+ community. Never forget.
Community, Crime, and Dancing: PULSE
dancing-out-my-pants:

3 years ago today 49 innocent people lost their lives in a hate crime against the LGBTQ+ community. Never forget.

dancing-out-my-pants: 3 years ago today 49 innocent people lost their lives in a hate crime against the LGBTQ+ community. Never forget.

Alive, Cats, and Dogs: Saving your pet with CPR Check for breathing and pulse Check pulse using middle and index finger below the wrist, inner thigh (temoral artery). below the ankle or where left elbow touches With pets increasingly being treated like a member of the Areas to check family, many owners are learning emergency techniques like CPR to keep their pet alive before bringing it to a veterinarian. for pulse the chest Look for other warning signs Gums and lips will appear gray- colored. Pupils will be dilated and not responsive to light If there is no breathing and no pulse, begin CPR immediately. Gums Pupils If not breathing, give breath to animal Cats and small dogs Place your mouth over its nose and mouth to blow air in. Medium-large dogs Place your mouth over its nose to blow air in Heimlich maneuver If breath won't go in, airway may be blocked. Turn dog upside down, with its back against your chest. Wrap your arms around the dog and clasp your hands together just below its rib cage (since you're holding the dog upside down, it's above the rib cage, in the abdomen). Using both arms, give five sharp thrusts to the abdomen. Then check its mouth or airway for the object. If you see it, remove it and give two more rescue breaths Start compressions if no pulse Lay animal on right side and place hand over ribs where its elbow touches the chest. Begin compressions. Do not give compressions if dog has pulse. Compressions per breath of air Compress chest Animal size Catsmall dog (Under 30 lbs.) 5 1/2-1 inch Medium-large dog (30-90 lbs.) 1-3 inches 5 Giant dog (over 90 lbs.) 1-3 inches 10 Repeat procedure Stop CPR after 20 minutes. Check pulse after 1 minute and then every few minutes. Continue giving CPR until the animal has a puise and is breathing. soURCE American Red Cross lolzandtrollz: Every Dog Owner Needs To Know This
Alive, Cats, and Dogs: Saving your pet with CPR
 Check for breathing and pulse
 Check pulse using middle and index finger
 below the wrist, inner thigh (temoral artery).
 below the ankle or where left elbow touches
 With pets increasingly being
 treated like a member of the
 Areas to check
 family, many owners are learning
 emergency techniques like CPR
 to keep their pet alive before
 bringing it to a veterinarian.
 for pulse
 the chest
 Look for other
 warning signs
 Gums and lips will appear
 gray- colored.
 Pupils will be dilated and
 not responsive to light
 If there is no breathing and no
 pulse, begin CPR immediately.
 Gums
 Pupils
 If not breathing, give
 breath to animal
 Cats and small dogs
 Place your mouth over its nose
 and mouth to blow air in.
 Medium-large dogs
 Place your mouth over its nose
 to blow air in
 Heimlich maneuver
 If breath won't go in, airway may be blocked.
 Turn dog upside down, with its back against
 your chest. Wrap your arms around the dog
 and clasp your hands together just below its
 rib cage (since you're holding the dog upside
 down, it's above the rib cage, in the
 abdomen). Using both arms, give five sharp thrusts
 to the abdomen. Then check its mouth or airway for the
 object. If you see it, remove it and give two more
 rescue breaths
 Start compressions if no pulse
 Lay animal on right side and place hand over ribs
 where its elbow touches the chest. Begin
 compressions. Do not give compressions
 if dog has pulse.
 Compressions
 per breath
 of air
 Compress
 chest
 Animal size
 Catsmall dog (Under 30 lbs.)
 5
 1/2-1 inch
 Medium-large dog (30-90 lbs.)
 1-3 inches
 5
 Giant dog (over 90 lbs.)
 1-3 inches
 10
 Repeat
 procedure
 Stop CPR
 after 20 minutes.
 Check pulse after 1 minute
 and then every few minutes.
 Continue giving CPR until the
 animal has a puise and is breathing.
 soURCE
 American Red Cross
lolzandtrollz:

Every Dog Owner Needs To Know This

lolzandtrollz: Every Dog Owner Needs To Know This

9/11, Arthur, and Club: Remembering the 49 people who lost their lives as a result of the Pulse Massacre. Stanley Almodovar III, 23 Alejandro Barrios Martinez, 21 Amanda L. Alvear, 25 Brenda Marquez McCool, 49 Oscar A. Aracena Montero, 26 Gilberto R. Silva Menendez, 25 Rodolfo Ayala Ayala, 33 Kimberly Jean Morris, 37 Antonio Davon Bron, 29 Akyra Monet Murray, 18 Darryl Roman Burt lI, 29 Luis Omar Ocasio Capo, 20 Angel Candelario-Padro, 28 Geraldo A. Ortiz Jimenez, 25 Juan Chavez Martinez, 25 Eric Ivan Ortiz-Rivera, 36 Luis Daniel Conde, 39 Joel Rayon Paniagua, 32 Cory James Connell, 21 Jean Carlos Mendez Perez, 35 Tevin Eugene Crosby, 25 Enrique L. Rios, Jr., 25 Deonka Deidra Drayton, 32 Jean Carlos Nieves Rodríguez, 27 Simón Adrian Carrillo Fernández, 31 Xavier Emmanuel Serrano-Rosado, 35 Leroy Valentin Fernandez, 25 Christopher Joseph Sanfeliz, 24 Mercedez Marisol Flores, 26 Yilmary Rodríguez Solivan, 24 Peter Ommy Gonzalez Cruz, 22 Edward Sotomayor Jr., 34 Juan Ramon Guerrero, 22 Shane Evan Tomlinson, 33 Paul Terrell Henry, 41 Martin Benitez Torres, 33 Frank Hernandez, 27 Jonathan A. Camuy Vega, 24 Miguel Angel Honorato, 30 Juan Pablo Rivera Velázquez, 37 Javier Jorge Reyes, 40 Luis Sergio Vielma, 22 Jason Benjamin Josaphat, 19 Franky Jimmy DeJesus Velázquez, 50 Eddie Jamoldroy Justice, 30 Luis Daniel Wilson-Leon, 37 Anthony Luis Laureano Disla, 25 Jerald Arthur Wright, 31 Christopher Andrew Leinonen, 32 peachtipple: gaytimesmag On June 12 2016, Pulse Nightclub in Orlando was the scene of one of the deadliest mass shootings by a single assailant in the history of the United States. At the time, it marked the deadliest terrorist attack on US soil since the tragedy of 9/11. Today we remember the 49 people who lost their lives that night. 🖤 Head to gaytimes.co.uk to read our interview with the team behind Pulse on what this anniversary means to them, and how the club has become an enduring reminder of how far we’ve left to go. 🏳️‍🌈
9/11, Arthur, and Club: Remembering the 49
 people who lost their
 lives as a result of the
 Pulse Massacre.

 Stanley Almodovar III, 23 Alejandro Barrios Martinez, 21
 Amanda L. Alvear, 25 Brenda Marquez McCool, 49
 Oscar A. Aracena Montero, 26 Gilberto R. Silva Menendez, 25
 Rodolfo Ayala Ayala, 33 Kimberly Jean Morris, 37
 Antonio Davon Bron, 29 Akyra Monet Murray, 18
 Darryl Roman Burt lI, 29 Luis Omar Ocasio Capo, 20
 Angel Candelario-Padro, 28 Geraldo A. Ortiz Jimenez, 25
 Juan Chavez Martinez, 25 Eric Ivan Ortiz-Rivera, 36
 Luis Daniel Conde, 39 Joel Rayon Paniagua, 32
 Cory James Connell, 21 Jean Carlos Mendez Perez, 35
 Tevin Eugene Crosby, 25 Enrique L. Rios, Jr., 25
 Deonka Deidra Drayton, 32 Jean Carlos Nieves Rodríguez, 27
 Simón Adrian Carrillo Fernández, 31 Xavier Emmanuel Serrano-Rosado, 35
 Leroy Valentin Fernandez, 25 Christopher Joseph Sanfeliz, 24
 Mercedez Marisol Flores, 26 Yilmary Rodríguez Solivan, 24
 Peter Ommy Gonzalez Cruz, 22 Edward Sotomayor Jr., 34
 Juan Ramon Guerrero, 22 Shane Evan Tomlinson, 33
 Paul Terrell Henry, 41 Martin Benitez Torres, 33
 Frank Hernandez, 27 Jonathan A. Camuy Vega, 24
 Miguel Angel Honorato, 30 Juan Pablo Rivera Velázquez, 37
 Javier Jorge Reyes, 40 Luis Sergio Vielma, 22
 Jason Benjamin Josaphat, 19 Franky Jimmy DeJesus Velázquez, 50
 Eddie Jamoldroy Justice, 30 Luis Daniel Wilson-Leon, 37
 Anthony Luis Laureano Disla, 25 Jerald Arthur Wright, 31
 Christopher Andrew Leinonen, 32
peachtipple:

gaytimesmag On June 12 2016, Pulse Nightclub in Orlando was the scene of one of the deadliest mass shootings by a single assailant in the history of the United States. At the time, it marked the deadliest terrorist attack on US soil since the tragedy of 9/11. Today we remember the 49 people who lost their lives that night. 🖤 Head to gaytimes.co.uk to read our interview with the team behind Pulse on what this anniversary means to them, and how the club has become an enduring reminder of how far we’ve left to go. 🏳️‍🌈

peachtipple: gaytimesmag On June 12 2016, Pulse Nightclub in Orlando was the scene of one of the deadliest mass shootings by a single assai...

Arthur, Community, and Martin: In loving memory of the victims of the Pulse nightclub shooting on June 12, 2016. Stanley Almodovar IlI Amanda Alvear Oscar A Aracena-Montero Rodolfo Ayala-Ayala Antonio Davon Brown Darryl Roman Burt Il Angel L. Candelario-Padro Juan Chavez-Martinez Luis Daniel Conde Cory James Connell Tevin Eugene Crosby Deonka Deidra Drayton Simon Adrian Carrillo Fernandez Leroy Valentin Fernandez Mercedez Marisol Flores Peter O. Gonzalez-Cruz Juan Ramon Guerrero Paul Terrell Henry Frank Hernandez Miquel Angel Honorato Javier Jorge-Reye:s Jason Benjamin Josaphat Eddie Jamoldroy Justice Anthony Luis Laureanodisla Christopher Andrew Leinonen Aleiandro Barrios Martinez Brenda Lee Marquez McCool Gilberto Ramon Silva Menendez Kimberly Morris Akyra Monet Murray Luis Omar Ocasio-Capo Geraldo A. Ortiz-Jimenez Eric Ivan Ortiz-Rivera Joel Rayon Paniaqua Jean Carlos Mendez Perez Enrique L. Rios, Jr. Jean C. Nieves Rodriquez Xavier Emmanuel Serrano Rosado Christopher Joseph Sanfeliz Yilmary Rodriguez Solivan Edward Sotomayor Jr. Shane Evan Tomlinson Martin Benitez Torres Jonathan Antonio Camuy Vega Juan P. Rivera Velazquez Luis S. Vielma Franky Jimmy Dejesus Velazquez Luis Daniel Wilson-Leon Jerald Arthur Wright (R transpocsuggestion: plannedparenthood:We mourn. We remember.  We stand with the LGBTQ community against hate and violence. [Image Description: white text on a dark gray square image. A rainbow heart shape with a rainbow tail is in the upper right hand corner. Beginning in the upper left hand corner, the title reads “In loving memory of the victims of the Pulse nightclub shooting on June 12, 2016.” Directly below the title are the full names of the victims in two columns of smaller text. In the lower right hand corner of the image is the Planned Parenthood logo in white.]
Arthur, Community, and Martin: In loving memory of the
 victims of the Pulse nightclub
 shooting on June 12, 2016.
 Stanley Almodovar IlI
 Amanda Alvear
 Oscar A Aracena-Montero
 Rodolfo Ayala-Ayala
 Antonio Davon Brown
 Darryl Roman Burt Il
 Angel L. Candelario-Padro
 Juan Chavez-Martinez
 Luis Daniel Conde
 Cory James Connell
 Tevin Eugene Crosby
 Deonka Deidra Drayton
 Simon Adrian Carrillo Fernandez
 Leroy Valentin Fernandez
 Mercedez Marisol Flores
 Peter O. Gonzalez-Cruz
 Juan Ramon Guerrero
 Paul Terrell Henry
 Frank Hernandez
 Miquel Angel Honorato
 Javier Jorge-Reye:s
 Jason Benjamin Josaphat
 Eddie Jamoldroy Justice
 Anthony Luis Laureanodisla
 Christopher Andrew Leinonen
 Aleiandro Barrios Martinez
 Brenda Lee Marquez McCool
 Gilberto Ramon Silva Menendez
 Kimberly Morris
 Akyra Monet Murray
 Luis Omar Ocasio-Capo
 Geraldo A. Ortiz-Jimenez
 Eric Ivan Ortiz-Rivera
 Joel Rayon Paniaqua
 Jean Carlos Mendez Perez
 Enrique L. Rios, Jr.
 Jean C. Nieves Rodriquez
 Xavier Emmanuel Serrano Rosado
 Christopher Joseph Sanfeliz
 Yilmary Rodriguez Solivan
 Edward Sotomayor Jr.
 Shane Evan Tomlinson
 Martin Benitez Torres
 Jonathan Antonio Camuy Vega
 Juan P. Rivera Velazquez
 Luis S. Vielma
 Franky Jimmy Dejesus Velazquez
 Luis Daniel Wilson-Leon
 Jerald Arthur Wright
 (R
transpocsuggestion:

plannedparenthood:We mourn. We remember.  We stand with the LGBTQ community against hate and violence.

[Image Description: white text on a dark gray square image. A rainbow heart shape with a rainbow tail is in the upper right hand corner. Beginning in the upper left hand corner, the title reads “In loving memory of the victims of the Pulse nightclub shooting on June 12, 2016.” Directly below the title are the full names of the victims in two columns of smaller text. In the lower right hand corner of the image is the Planned Parenthood logo in white.]

transpocsuggestion: plannedparenthood:We mourn. We remember.  We stand with the LGBTQ community against hate and violence. [Image Descript...

Beard, Click, and Confidence: emotion & body language body language: emotion Shiiting,1idgeting,grinning,L1Cking 11PS anticipation rubbing hands together slack-jawed, fixed gaze, unable to move awe clapping hands, shaking with laughter amusement slapping thighs, throwing head back biting smile back furrowed/lowered brow, flushed face, pointing ander or table, clenched fist/jaw, baring teeth throbbing veins in neck, scowling glaring, eye rolling, pressed lips, sighing annoyance fidgeting, sweating, playing with jewelry quickened breath, dry mouth/swallowing anxiety biting nails, stuttering, biting lip yawning, fridgeting, doodling, tapping feet boredom or shaking leg, playing with pen/pencil/hair lifted chin, head high, puffed chest, back straight, shoulders back, deliberate movement confidence tilted head, furrowed brow, shrugging, squinting confusion lifted chin, smirk, sneer, purse lips contempt emotion & body language body language: emotion twisted lips, twisted smile, half smile, shaking head, rolling eyes cynical one shoulder shrug, playing with hair/ring necklace/earring/earlobe, scratching face/ nose/neck, shuffling, fidgeting, looking down deceptive hesitation in speech, nodding while saying no shaking head while saving ves, licking lips covering/touching mouth crossed arms, hands hidden, keeping object or person between self and percieved threat defensive winking, touching hair or clothing, eye contact, looking up through lashes, arching des1ire dilated pupils, stretching wide-eyed (shocked), narrow-eyed (suspicious) raised brows (shocked),low brow (suspicious), crinkled nose, curled lip, turning away clenched eyes, covering mouth/nose, flinch disqust frown, creased brows, crossed arms, pressed lips, narrowed eyes displeasure fidgeting, rubbing/scratching neck, wide-eyed distress plaving with iewelry, rapid-breathing, fixing sleeves, holding self, trembling blush, stuttering, stammering, unable to embarrassment make eye contact, covering face, holding self, blinking back tears, looking down or at lights rubbing eyes/temples, yawning, staring off slouching, closing eyes, moving slow fatique emotion & body language body language: emotion shrinking back, wide-eyed, hunched shoulders, flinching, shaking/trembling, holding self fear shaking head, pinching bridge of nose frustrationrubing temples, clenching hands grinding/clenching teeth shaking with sobs, staring off, trembling, shuddered breaths, gasping sobs, curling in on self, lashing out/hitting things grief smile, laugh, hum, whistle, dancing, jumping hugging, giggling, crinkled eyes happiness eye contact, open posture, smiling, looking honesty upwards tapping feet, shaking leg, taping fingers impatience twirling pen, nodding quickly, checking time sighing, looking away crossed arms, sneer, narrowed eyes, sour expression, tight 1ips jealousy hands clenched or gripping something overwhelmed wide-eyed, missing time/conversations, palms to forehead, staring off talking fast, leaning forward, nodding, raised brows, wide-eyed, eager, double handed passionate handshake smiling, nudging, teasing, poking, winking goading, giggling, laughing playful emotion & body language body language: emotion head back, parted 1ips, eyes wide or closed, flushing, quick breath/pulse, arch neck/back pleasure chin up, back straight, shoulders back, chest out, firm handshake, open/spread posture pride biting lip, pressed lips, crossed arms dragging feet, pinching bridge of nose reluctance slouched posture, holding self, hesitant, sadness quivering, crying, sobbing, shaking, tremblling tight smile, hiding hands in pockets/crossed arms, looking down/away, covering face secretiveness bury face in hands, looking down/away slumped posture, pressed lips, straight mouth, wet eyes shame eyebrows raised, mouth open, gasp, hands over mouth, freezing, stepping back/away shock dropping objects in hand (s) avoiding eye contact, looking away/down blushing, bending head, keeping distance shyness stepping away, holding self smirk, one raised eyebrow, corners of mouth twitch upwards smugnesS narrowed eyes, furrowed/creased brow, frown tight lips, pressed lips, glance sideways watchful agaze closed eyes, staring off, stroking/touching thoughtfullness neck or jewelry, pinching bridge of nose stroke face/beard, rest chin on hand theonlysaylor: A Writing Cheat Sheet: for linking actions with emotions.  As always, click for HD.
Beard, Click, and Confidence: emotion & body language
 body language:
 emotion
 Shiiting,1idgeting,grinning,L1Cking 11PS
 anticipation rubbing hands together
 slack-jawed, fixed gaze, unable to move
 awe
 clapping hands, shaking with laughter
 amusement
 slapping thighs, throwing head back
 biting smile back
 furrowed/lowered brow, flushed face, pointing
 ander
 or table, clenched fist/jaw, baring teeth
 throbbing veins in neck, scowling
 glaring, eye rolling, pressed lips, sighing
 annoyance
 fidgeting, sweating, playing with jewelry
 quickened breath, dry mouth/swallowing
 anxiety
 biting nails, stuttering, biting lip
 yawning, fridgeting, doodling, tapping feet
 boredom
 or shaking leg, playing with pen/pencil/hair
 lifted chin, head high, puffed chest, back
 straight, shoulders back, deliberate movement
 confidence
 tilted head, furrowed brow, shrugging,
 squinting
 confusion
 lifted chin, smirk, sneer, purse lips
 contempt

 emotion & body language
 body language:
 emotion
 twisted lips, twisted smile, half smile,
 shaking head, rolling eyes
 cynical
 one shoulder shrug, playing with hair/ring
 necklace/earring/earlobe, scratching face/
 nose/neck, shuffling, fidgeting, looking down
 deceptive
 hesitation in speech, nodding while saying no
 shaking head while saving ves, licking lips
 covering/touching mouth
 crossed arms, hands hidden, keeping object
 or person between self and percieved threat
 defensive
 winking, touching hair or clothing, eye
 contact, looking up through lashes, arching
 des1ire
 dilated pupils, stretching
 wide-eyed (shocked), narrow-eyed (suspicious)
 raised brows (shocked),low brow (suspicious),
 crinkled nose, curled lip, turning away
 clenched eyes, covering mouth/nose, flinch
 disqust
 frown, creased brows, crossed arms, pressed
 lips, narrowed eyes
 displeasure
 fidgeting, rubbing/scratching neck, wide-eyed
 distress
 plaving with iewelry, rapid-breathing, fixing
 sleeves, holding self, trembling
 blush, stuttering, stammering, unable to
 embarrassment make eye contact, covering face, holding self,
 blinking back tears, looking down or at lights
 rubbing eyes/temples, yawning, staring off
 slouching, closing eyes, moving slow
 fatique

 emotion & body language
 body language:
 emotion
 shrinking back, wide-eyed, hunched shoulders,
 flinching, shaking/trembling, holding self
 fear
 shaking head, pinching bridge of nose
 frustrationrubing temples, clenching hands
 grinding/clenching teeth
 shaking with sobs, staring off, trembling,
 shuddered breaths, gasping sobs, curling
 in on self, lashing out/hitting things
 grief
 smile, laugh, hum, whistle, dancing, jumping
 hugging, giggling, crinkled eyes
 happiness
 eye contact, open posture, smiling, looking
 honesty
 upwards
 tapping feet, shaking leg, taping fingers
 impatience twirling pen, nodding quickly, checking time
 sighing, looking away
 crossed arms, sneer, narrowed eyes, sour
 expression, tight 1ips
 jealousy
 hands clenched or gripping something
 overwhelmed wide-eyed, missing time/conversations, palms
 to forehead, staring off
 talking fast, leaning forward, nodding,
 raised brows, wide-eyed, eager, double handed
 passionate
 handshake
 smiling, nudging, teasing, poking, winking
 goading, giggling, laughing
 playful

 emotion & body language
 body language:
 emotion
 head back, parted 1ips, eyes wide or closed,
 flushing, quick breath/pulse, arch neck/back
 pleasure
 chin up, back straight, shoulders back, chest
 out, firm handshake, open/spread posture
 pride
 biting lip, pressed lips, crossed arms
 dragging feet, pinching bridge of nose
 reluctance
 slouched posture, holding self, hesitant,
 sadness
 quivering, crying, sobbing, shaking,
 tremblling
 tight smile, hiding hands in pockets/crossed
 arms, looking down/away, covering face
 secretiveness
 bury face in hands, looking down/away
 slumped posture, pressed lips, straight
 mouth, wet eyes
 shame
 eyebrows raised, mouth open, gasp, hands
 over mouth, freezing, stepping back/away
 shock
 dropping objects in hand (s)
 avoiding eye contact, looking away/down
 blushing, bending head, keeping distance
 shyness
 stepping away, holding self
 smirk, one raised eyebrow, corners of mouth
 twitch upwards
 smugnesS
 narrowed eyes, furrowed/creased brow, frown
 tight lips, pressed lips, glance sideways
 watchful agaze
 closed eyes, staring off, stroking/touching
 thoughtfullness neck or jewelry, pinching bridge of nose
 stroke face/beard, rest chin on hand
theonlysaylor:
A Writing Cheat Sheet: for linking actions with emotions. 
As always, click for HD.

theonlysaylor: A Writing Cheat Sheet: for linking actions with emotions.  As always, click for HD.

Alive, Beard, and Children: feniczoroark: minority-cubed: princemetalthunder: skrill-cosby: drucila616: How Do Court Reporters Keep Straight Faces?These are from a book called Disorder in the Courts and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and published by court reporters that had the torment of staying calm while the exchanges were taking place.ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning?WITNESS: He said, ‘Where am I, Cathy?’ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you?WITNESS: My name is Susan!_______________________________ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.____________________________________________ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active?WITNESS: No, I just lie there.____________________________________________ATTORNEY: What is your date of birth?WITNESS: July 18th.ATTORNEY: What year?WITNESS: Every year._____________________________________ATTORNEY: How old is your son, the one living with you?WITNESS: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can’t remember which.ATTORNEY: How long has he lived with you?WITNESS: Forty-five years._________________________________ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?WITNESS: Yes.ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory?WITNESS: I forget..ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot?___________________________________________ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn’t it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn’t know about it until the next morning?WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam?____________________________________ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the 20-year-old, how old is he?WITNESS: He’s 20, much like your IQ.___________________________________________ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken?WITNESS: Are you shitting me?_________________________________________ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?WITNESS: Yes.ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time?WITNESS: Getting laid____________________________________________ATTORNEY: She had three children , right?WITNESS: Yes.ATTORNEY: How many were boys?WITNESS: None.ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?WITNESS: Your Honor, I think I need a different attorney. Can I get a new attorney?____________________________________________ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated?WITNESS: By death..ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated?WITNESS: Take a guess.___________________________________________ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual?WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beardATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female?WITNESS: Unless the Circus was in town I’m going with male._____________________________________ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.______________________________________ATTORNEY: Doctor , how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people?WITNESS: All of them. The live ones put up too much of a fight._________________________________________ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to?WITNESS: Oral…_________________________________________ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 PMATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time?WITNESS: If not, he was by the time I finished.____________________________________________ATTORNEY: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?WITNESS: Are you qualified to ask that question?______________________________________And last:ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?WITNESS: No.ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?WITNESS: No.ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing?WITNESS: No..ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?WITNESS: No.ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law. oh my god these are great fuck this is like reading a jokes and not actual quotes The last one is how I feel about all my schoolmates I can feel the frustration
Alive, Beard, and Children: feniczoroark:

minority-cubed:

princemetalthunder:

skrill-cosby:

drucila616:

How Do Court Reporters Keep Straight Faces?These are from a book called Disorder in the Courts and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and published by court reporters that had the torment of staying calm while the exchanges were taking place.ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning?WITNESS: He said, ‘Where am I, Cathy?’ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you?WITNESS: My name is Susan!_______________________________ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.____________________________________________ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active?WITNESS: No, I just lie there.____________________________________________ATTORNEY: What is your date of birth?WITNESS: July 18th.ATTORNEY: What year?WITNESS: Every year._____________________________________ATTORNEY: How old is your son, the one living with you?WITNESS: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can’t remember which.ATTORNEY: How long has he lived with you?WITNESS: Forty-five years._________________________________ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?WITNESS: Yes.ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory?WITNESS: I forget..ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot?___________________________________________ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn’t it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn’t know about it until the next morning?WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam?____________________________________ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the 20-year-old, how old is he?WITNESS: He’s 20, much like your IQ.___________________________________________ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken?WITNESS: Are you shitting me?_________________________________________ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?WITNESS: Yes.ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time?WITNESS: Getting laid____________________________________________ATTORNEY: She had three children , right?WITNESS: Yes.ATTORNEY: How many were boys?WITNESS: None.ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?WITNESS: Your Honor, I think I need a different attorney. Can I get a new attorney?____________________________________________ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated?WITNESS: By death..ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated?WITNESS: Take a guess.___________________________________________ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual?WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beardATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female?WITNESS: Unless the Circus was in town I’m going with male._____________________________________ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.______________________________________ATTORNEY: Doctor , how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people?WITNESS: All of them. The live ones put up too much of a fight._________________________________________ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to?WITNESS: Oral…_________________________________________ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 PMATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time?WITNESS: If not, he was by the time I finished.____________________________________________ATTORNEY: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?WITNESS: Are you qualified to ask that question?______________________________________And last:ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?WITNESS: No.ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?WITNESS: No.ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing?WITNESS: No..ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?WITNESS: No.ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law.

oh my god these are great

fuck this is like reading a jokes and not actual quotes


The last one is how I feel about all my schoolmates

I can feel the frustration

feniczoroark: minority-cubed: princemetalthunder: skrill-cosby: drucila616: How Do Court Reporters Keep Straight Faces?These are from a...

Donald Trump, Driving, and God: gay victim soul @tragicgay Whenever I see news about how SNL or John Oliver or John Stewart "destroyed" Donald Trump my mind instinctively goes to this Vonnegut quote "During the Vietnam War, every respectable artist in this country was against the war. It was like a laser beam. We were all aimed in the same direction. The power of this weapon turns out to be that of a custard pie dropped from a stepladder six feet high." - feathersescapism: Every time I see this quote I realize how poor even very smart people are at looking at the long game and at assessing these things in context. One of my favourite illustrations of this was in a First Aid class. The instructor was a working paramedic. He asked, “Who here knows the stats on CPR? What percentage of people are saved by CPR outside a hospital?” I happen to know but I’m trying not to be a TOTAL know it all in this class so I wait. And people guess 50% and he says, “Lower,” and 20% and so forth and eventually I sort of half put up my hand and I guess I had The Face because he eventually looked at me and said, “You know, don’t you.” “My mom’s a doc,” I said. He gave me a “so say it” gesture and I said, “Four to ten percent depending on your sources.” Everyone else looked surprised and horrified. And the paramedic said, “We’re gonna talk a bit about some details of those figures* but first I want to talk about just this: when do you do CPR?” The class dutifully replies: when someone is unconscious, not breathing, and has no pulse. “What do we call someone who is unconscious, not breathing, and has no pulse?” The class tries to figure out what the trick question is so I jump over the long pause and say, “A corpse.” “Right,” says the paramedic. “Someone who isn’t breathing and has no heartbeat is dead. So what I’m telling you is that with this technique you have a 4-10% chance of raising the dead.” So no, artists did not stop the Vietnam War from happening with the sheer Power of Art. The forces driving that military intervention were huge, had generations of momentum and are actually pretty damn complicated. But if you think the mass rejection of the war was as meaningless as a soufflé - well. Try sitting here for ten seconds and imagining where we’d be if the entire intellectual and artistic drive of the culture had been FOR the war. If everyone thought it was a GREAT IDEA. What the whole world would look like. Four-to-ten percent means that ninety to ninety-six percent of the time - more than nine times out of ten - CPR will do nothing, but that one time you’ll be in the company of someone worshipped as an incarnate god. If you think the artists and performers attacking and showing up people like Donald Trump is meaningless try imagining a version of the world wherein they weren’t there. (*if you’re curious: those stats count EVERY reported case of CPR, while the effectiveness of it is extremely time-related. With those who have had continuous CPR from the SECOND they went down, the number is actually above 80%. It drops hugely every 30 seconds from then on. When you count ALL cases you count cases where the person has already been down several minutes but a bystander still starts CPR, which affects the stats)
Donald Trump, Driving, and God: gay victim soul
 @tragicgay
 Whenever I see news about how SNL or
 John Oliver or John Stewart "destroyed"
 Donald Trump my mind instinctively goes
 to this Vonnegut quote
 "During the Vietnam War,
 every respectable artist in
 this country was against
 the war. It was like a laser
 beam. We were all aimed
 in the same direction. The
 power of this weapon turns
 out to be that of a custard
 pie dropped from a
 stepladder six feet high." -
feathersescapism:

Every time I see this quote I realize how poor even very smart people are at looking at the long game and at assessing these things in context. 
One of my favourite illustrations of this was in a First Aid class. The instructor was a working paramedic. He asked, “Who here knows the stats on CPR? What percentage of people are saved by CPR outside a hospital?”
I happen to know but I’m trying not to be a TOTAL know it all in this class so I wait. And people guess 50% and he says, “Lower,” and 20% and so forth and eventually I sort of half put up my hand and I guess I had The Face because he eventually looked at me and said, “You know, don’t you.”
“My mom’s a doc,” I said. He gave me a “so say it” gesture and I said, “Four to ten percent depending on your sources.” 
Everyone else looked surprised and horrified. 
And the paramedic said, “We’re gonna talk a bit about some details of those figures* but first I want to talk about just this: when do you do CPR?” 
The class dutifully replies: when someone is unconscious, not breathing, and has no pulse. 
“What do we call someone who is unconscious, not breathing, and has no pulse?”
The class tries to figure out what the trick question is so I jump over the long pause and say, “A corpse.”
“Right,” says the paramedic. “Someone who isn’t breathing and has no heartbeat is dead. So what I’m telling you is that with this technique you have a 4-10% chance of raising the dead.”
So no, artists did not stop the Vietnam War from happening with the sheer Power of Art. The forces driving that military intervention were huge, had generations of momentum and are actually pretty damn complicated. 
But if you think the mass rejection of the war was as meaningless as a soufflé - well. 
Try sitting here for ten seconds and imagining where we’d be if the entire intellectual and artistic drive of the culture had been FOR the war. If everyone thought it was a GREAT IDEA. 
What the whole world would look like. 
Four-to-ten percent means that ninety to ninety-six percent of the time - more than nine times out of ten - CPR will do nothing, but that one time you’ll be in the company of someone worshipped as an incarnate god. 
If you think the artists and performers attacking and showing up people like Donald Trump is meaningless try imagining a version of the world wherein they weren’t there. 

(*if you’re curious: those stats count EVERY reported case of CPR, while the effectiveness of it is extremely time-related. With those who have had continuous CPR from the SECOND they went down, the number is actually above 80%. It drops hugely every 30 seconds from then on. When you count ALL cases you count cases where the person has already been down several minutes but a bystander still starts CPR, which affects the stats)

feathersescapism: Every time I see this quote I realize how poor even very smart people are at looking at the long game and at assessing th...