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Aladdin, Bad, and Barbie: C ,d 40%. 11:52 PM minesottafatspoollegend i love in fantasy when its like "king galamir the mighty golden eagle and his most trusted advisor who would never betray him, gruelworm bloodeye the treacherous" es When my sister and I were kids we had this one action figure, who was actually a brutalized batman doll without his cape (the dog chewed half his head, too), who we dubbed 'Evil Chancellor Traytor. The idea was that in the fictional society of our toys, chancellor just came with the word 'evil in front of it, as a matter of ancient tradition Like 'grand' or 'high' or something along those lines Anyway, the running gag was that the king (an old Power Rangers knock-off doll) had absolute and unwavering faith in Evil Chancel- lor Traytor, who basically comported himself like a mix between Grima Wormtongue and Jafar from the Aladdin movies. Everyone was always sure that Evil Chancellor Traytor had something to do with the nefarious scheme of the day. The dude even carried around a poisoned knife called 'the kingslayer The additional twist on the joke, though, was that he never was behind anything. The king was actually right. Evil Chancellor Traytor was the most devoted civil servant in the entire Action Figure Dystopia. He spent his nights working on writing up new legislature to ensure that b mobility devices, was always on the lookout to acquire new shoeboxes for expanding city infrastructure, and drafted a proposal that once got half the 'settlement' in my sister and I's closet moved to the upper shelf so that vulnerable toys were less likely to be snatched roken toys had access to the dog The knife, as it turned out, was as symbolic as the evil in his name. See, Action Figure Dystopia had a long history of corrupted monarchs getting too big for their thrones and exploiting the underclasses. The job of the Evil Chancellor was to always remain vigilant, and loyally serve a good ruler-or, if the regent should became a despot, to slay them on behalf of the people But since killing the king would be a terrible crime, the Evil Chancellor had to be the kind of person who would willingly die to spare the people from the plight of a wicked leader, because the murder would be pinned on them, in order to keep the 'machinery of politics working as smoothly as ever Anyway, Evil Chancellor Traytor had a diary in which my sister I would take turns writing out the most over-the-top good shit he'd done behind the scenes. Usually after everyone else had finished talking shit about him. I don't know why but we got the biggest kick out of in Barbie With the Unfortunate Haircut: Oh that Evil Chancellor Traytor! Why can't the king see how wicked he is?! Charmander From the Vending Machine: Char! Jurassic Park Toy of Jeff Goldblum With Disturbingly Realistic Face: At least if someone puts a knife in the king's back, we'll know where to look! Evil Chancellor Traytor's Diary: Today I was feeding ducks at the park when I noticed another legless action figure sitting by the benches. I put a hundred dollars into his bag while he wasn't looking. I really need to increase budgeting to the medical treatment centers. If only we had enough glue, I think we would see far fewer toys trying to get by without limbs... insert iconic evil laugh* Anyway, Evil Chancellor Traytor eventually fell victim to one of my mom's cleaning sprees, and she decided he was too busted up to keep and tossed him out. My littler brother, who tended to follow my sister and I's games like he was watching a daily soap opera, cried so hard that we had to do a special 'episode where one of the toys found the Evil Chancellor's diary, and so he got a big huge memorial and the king threw himself into the empty grave and then ordered the toys driving the toy bulldozer to bury him so that 'Traytors grave would have a body' (this seemed very important for some reason) And then we had the Quest For a New King Somehow or another that ended up being a giant rubber snake called Tyrant King Cobra Source: sweetbabyr aysgourmetsauces 79,144 notes I want this to be an actual soap so bad
Aladdin, Bad, and Barbie: C
 ,d 40%. 11:52 PM
 minesottafatspoollegend
 i love in fantasy when its like "king galamir
 the mighty golden eagle and his most
 trusted advisor who would never betray him,
 gruelworm bloodeye the treacherous"
 es
 When my sister and I were kids we had
 this one action figure, who was actually a
 brutalized batman doll without his cape
 (the dog chewed half his head, too), who
 we dubbed 'Evil Chancellor Traytor. The
 idea was that in the fictional society of our
 toys, chancellor just came with the word 'evil
 in front of it, as a matter of ancient tradition
 Like 'grand' or 'high' or something along those
 lines
 Anyway, the running gag was that the king
 (an old Power Rangers knock-off doll) had
 absolute and unwavering faith in Evil Chancel-
 lor Traytor, who basically comported himself
 like a mix between Grima Wormtongue and
 Jafar from the Aladdin movies. Everyone was
 always sure that Evil Chancellor Traytor had
 something to do with the nefarious scheme
 of the day. The dude even carried around a
 poisoned knife called 'the kingslayer
 The additional twist on the joke, though, was
 that he never was behind anything. The king
 was actually right. Evil Chancellor Traytor
 was the most devoted civil servant in the
 entire Action Figure Dystopia. He spent his
 nights working on writing up new legislature
 to ensure that b
 mobility devices, was always on the lookout
 to acquire new shoeboxes for expanding city
 infrastructure, and drafted a proposal that
 once got half the 'settlement' in my sister and
 I's closet moved to the upper shelf so that
 vulnerable toys were less likely to be snatched
 roken toys had access to
 the dog
 The knife, as it turned out, was as symbolic
 as the evil in his name. See, Action Figure
 Dystopia had a long history of corrupted
 monarchs getting too big for their thrones and
 exploiting the underclasses. The job of the
 Evil Chancellor was to always remain vigilant,
 and loyally serve a good ruler-or, if the regent
 should became a despot, to slay them on
 behalf of the people
 But since killing the king would be a terrible
 crime, the Evil Chancellor had to be the kind
 of person who would willingly die to spare
 the people from the plight of a wicked leader,
 because the murder would be pinned on them,
 in order to keep the 'machinery of politics
 working as smoothly as ever
 Anyway, Evil Chancellor Traytor had a diary
 in which my sister I would take turns writing
 out the most over-the-top good shit he'd done
 behind the scenes. Usually after everyone else
 had finished talking shit about him. I don't
 know why but we got the biggest kick out of
 in
 Barbie With the Unfortunate Haircut: Oh that
 Evil Chancellor Traytor! Why can't the king see
 how wicked he is?!
 Charmander From the Vending Machine: Char!
 Jurassic Park Toy of Jeff Goldblum With
 Disturbingly Realistic Face: At least if
 someone puts a knife in the king's back,
 we'll know where to look!
 Evil Chancellor Traytor's Diary: Today I was
 feeding ducks at the park when I noticed
 another legless action figure sitting by the
 benches. I put a hundred dollars into his
 bag while he wasn't looking. I really need to
 increase budgeting to the medical treatment
 centers. If only we had enough glue, I think
 we would see far fewer toys trying to get by
 without limbs... insert iconic evil laugh*
 Anyway, Evil Chancellor Traytor eventually fell
 victim to one of my mom's cleaning sprees,
 and she decided he was too busted up to keep
 and tossed him out. My littler brother, who
 tended to follow my sister and I's games like
 he was watching a daily soap opera, cried
 so hard that we had to do a special 'episode
 where one of the toys found the Evil
 Chancellor's diary, and so he got a big huge
 memorial and the king threw himself into the
 empty grave and then ordered the toys driving
 the toy bulldozer to bury him so that 'Traytors
 grave would have a body' (this seemed very
 important for some reason)
 And then we had the Quest For a New King
 Somehow or another that ended up being a
 giant rubber snake called Tyrant King Cobra
 Source: sweetbabyr
 aysgourmetsauces
 79,144 notes
I want this to be an actual soap so bad

I want this to be an actual soap so bad

Be Like, Bilbo, and Bruh: jumpingjacktrash spicychickencows sirnotappearinginthisblog thefingerfuckingfemalefury kurtwagnermorelikekurtwagnerd kurtwagnermorelikekurtwagnerd you know what's always bugged me? when a character is faced with some magical two headed being or some shit and one always lies while the other tells the truth and to figure out which is which the character's like "which one of you is the liar" or something like bruh literally all you gotta do is be like "what's two plus two" one of them's gonna say four and the other one is gonna say 83 or some shit. there you go. answered. go on with your magical quest to defeat david bowie this has forty notes. that's forty more notes than expected THIS IS A VERY GOOD POINT and deserves more notes LISTEN idon't normally engage in Discourse but this information is DANGEROUSLY MISLEADING! the point of the riddle isn't to figure out which one is lying, in fact, knowing which one lies and which one tells the truth is irelevant. What you want is the correct answer from the magical beast/two guards/etc. Usually this means knowing which path to take. For that, you HAVE to ask it "if i ask the other head/guard/etc which is the safe way to go, what will hey tell me? if you asked the truth-telling one, they'Il tell you the wrong way because the liar will always mislead you. if you ask the liar, they'll tell you the wrong way, because they're misleading you, So ALWAYS do the opposite of whatever answer you get. who cares this is a stupid tumblr post this doesn't matter irl WRONG AGAIN! story time A few years ago a friend threw a halloween party, and since he dressed as the Riddler, he decided to have a riddle contest. now, i've been preparing for a riddle contest my entire life, since i first read the hobbit and it got bilbo out of trouble. for some reason, i assumed riddle contests were as inevitable as quicksand I answered the first riddle easily (it was one of the ones from the hobbit) and then i had to answer the next one to win a bottle of top- shelf rum. it was a variation on the two-guard riddle, only i had to choose one of two paper bags. one had crappy cheap vodka, the other the nice rum. the host and his friend did the classic one lies one tells the truth thing, and of course before i asked everyone started shouting "ask him what color your hair is!" and stuff like that, but i already knew what to ask, so i shushed them and won the rum remember, kids, it doesn't matter which one is lying and which one is telling the truth. all that matters is you get the correct knowledge to move you forward, win your rum, and make you seem like a superhuman riddle-solver to a crowd of drunken party guests always be ready for a riddle contest Here's a thing that usually doesn't come up when people try to criticise this riddle as well. One of the conditions of the riddle is typically that you only get to ask one question. You arrive at the liar and the truth teller and you need to find out which bridge is safe and which one will collapse when you're halfway across They tell you that one of them always lies and that one of them always tells the truth. And they tell you you can ask them one question If you ask "What's two plus two?" than great. You know which one lies but you also still don't know which bridge you can cross and can't find out. You played yourself i can get the answer in zero questions. block all the other exits, light them on fire, and see which way they run ALook at Alexander the Great up here, cutting the knot and all The Riddle Solving Discourse, for any quest goers lurking about
Be Like, Bilbo, and Bruh: jumpingjacktrash
 spicychickencows
 sirnotappearinginthisblog
 thefingerfuckingfemalefury
 kurtwagnermorelikekurtwagnerd
 kurtwagnermorelikekurtwagnerd
 you know what's always bugged me? when a character is
 faced with some magical two headed being or some shit
 and one always lies while the other tells the truth and to
 figure out which is which the character's like "which one of
 you is the liar" or something like bruh literally all you gotta
 do is be like "what's two plus two" one of them's gonna say
 four and the other one is gonna say 83 or some shit. there
 you go. answered. go on with your magical quest to defeat
 david bowie
 this has forty notes. that's forty more notes than expected
 THIS IS A VERY GOOD POINT and deserves more notes
 LISTEN idon't normally engage in Discourse but this information is
 DANGEROUSLY MISLEADING!
 the point of the riddle isn't to figure out which one is lying, in fact,
 knowing which one lies and which one tells the truth is irelevant.
 What you want is the correct answer from the magical beast/two
 guards/etc. Usually this means knowing which path to take. For that,
 you HAVE to ask it "if i ask the other head/guard/etc which is the
 safe way to go, what will hey tell me?
 if you asked the truth-telling one, they'Il tell you the wrong way
 because the liar will always mislead you. if you ask the liar, they'll
 tell you the wrong way, because they're misleading you, So
 ALWAYS do the opposite of whatever answer you get.
 who cares this is a stupid tumblr post this doesn't matter irl
 WRONG AGAIN! story time
 A few years ago a friend threw a halloween party, and since he
 dressed as the Riddler, he decided to have a riddle contest.
 now, i've been preparing for a riddle contest my entire life, since i
 first read the hobbit and it got bilbo out of trouble. for some reason, i
 assumed riddle contests were as inevitable as quicksand
 I answered the first riddle easily (it was one of the ones from the
 hobbit) and then i had to answer the next one to win a bottle of top-
 shelf rum. it was a variation on the two-guard riddle, only i had to
 choose one of two paper bags. one had crappy cheap vodka, the
 other the nice rum.
 the host and his friend did the classic one lies one tells the truth
 thing, and of course before i asked everyone started shouting "ask
 him what color your hair is!" and stuff like that, but i already knew
 what to ask, so i shushed them and won the rum
 remember, kids, it doesn't matter which one is lying and which one
 is telling the truth. all that matters is you get the correct knowledge
 to move you forward, win your rum, and make you seem like a
 superhuman riddle-solver to a crowd of drunken party guests
 always be ready for a riddle contest
 Here's a thing that usually doesn't come up when people try to criticise
 this riddle as well. One of the conditions of the riddle is typically that
 you only get to ask one question. You arrive at the liar and the truth
 teller and you need to find out which bridge is safe and which one will
 collapse when you're halfway across
 They tell you that one of them always lies and that one of them always
 tells the truth. And they tell you you can ask them one question
 If you ask "What's two plus two?" than great. You know which one lies
 but you also still don't know which bridge you can cross and can't find
 out.
 You played yourself
 i can get the answer in zero questions. block all the other exits, light them
 on fire, and see which way they run
 ALook at Alexander the Great up here, cutting the knot and all
The Riddle Solving Discourse, for any quest goers lurking about

The Riddle Solving Discourse, for any quest goers lurking about

Af, America, and Bailey Jay: THE MOST FAMOUS PIRATES #16 HAYREDDIN BARBAROSSA century, but was forced to flee the Eastern Mecitetraneanober b kingthe wrong candidate for sultan Hebecame known as Barbrossa n Europe, a nane he inhenited from hisder her Orug Reis after he was klied in a battle with the Spanish in Algeria. Becoming aplrate, his enemies took his base leaing him homeless once agaln. Tired of and started one for himself the Regency of Nigiers (presene-day geria, Turiva and parts ef Moraccal He did this by pledging alince to the Oioman sultan and getting in return enough ships and we Sattle of Preveza153 using his fleet of 122 ships, Barbarossa retired ossa Hayneddin Pasha died in 1546 in his seaside pslace in Istenbul #17 KLAUS STÖRTEBEKER nd Sweden to fight the Danish and supply the be ieged Swecish ca pital Stodholm with provis ons After the end of the war the Victus and named themselves "Likedeelers.A large number of myths andle withone gup'in ldGemun.The moniker refers to the pirate's ability o empty a four-tie mug of beer in ore guip Stortebeker entered Brothers from the Batic island of Godand, where they had set up a ed by Simon of Utrecht caught up wh Stortebeker's foroe near Hel ed by a trafor who cast molten lead into the Iniks which held the ker offered a chain of goldlong enough toenclose the whoke of Ham bung in eochange for his lfe and freedon, However Stortebeker and all his 73 corepanions were sentenced to death It is said that Storte beler asked the mayor of Hamburg to release however many of his companions he could walk past after being beheaded The rather rs alegedly çot up and walked pest twelve of hls compenions before the #18 CHING SHIH lso knownan ChengISn.Ching Shih s not only the most successful fal female pianes sheis a'se the mest fascinating She gained eqa her adopted son, Cheung Po Tsal the captain of her fleet lwhich oqualed that of al the other nost successtul pisanes combinedi Beau hips wth 80 000 men,androbbed andtaoond towns, plundering ships long the coast of the South China Sea all the whleenfaring a strict code of conduct upon har men. She also mamed her adopted son eother hand, were able to keep their riches and were given military jobs She livedout her63 years incharge of a casiho and brothel wih plundened Spanish chies oft tha coast of Florida, gving him tha nick name El Draque or Dace (the Drgonm). Most famous of his con- quest wene on the port af Nombe de Diosin 1572 and ports of Sando Oomingo and Cartagens in 1585 King Philp I was said to huwe offe- red a reward for his capture or deah of 23.000 ducats, about E$6S mlion by modem standards Healso saled to North America and cla- ned new landon the Pacifc coast for Queen Elizabeth becoming the successfulEngish colonists af Roancke bland off the coast of the Ca oins and gree them pasage to England wbound his wisel After an Bustrious creer Dake died off the coast of Fanama to something as #20 HENRY MORGAN The Wakh Captain Henry Margan is one of the mest amous pirtes buit ha neputation as a piate when he plundered Santiago De Cb Worgan became the beed of the Jamalcan feet and successfully un hy Panama City with thirty sips and 1.200 men,aquring his largest plunder yet.it was dlue to his aid on Panama City that he was anested him ล5 deputy govermor of Jamaica There, he lived a very welespec. SORRY FOR LONG POST HERE'S A PIRATE POTATO HAVE A NICE DAY) The Most Famous Pirates - Part 4
Af, America, and Bailey Jay: THE MOST FAMOUS
 PIRATES
 #16
 HAYREDDIN BARBAROSSA
 century, but was forced to flee the Eastern Mecitetraneanober b
 kingthe wrong candidate for sultan Hebecame known as Barbrossa
 n Europe, a nane he inhenited from hisder her Orug Reis after
 he was klied in a battle with the Spanish in Algeria. Becoming aplrate,
 his enemies took his base leaing him homeless once agaln. Tired of
 and started one for himself the Regency of Nigiers (presene-day
 geria, Turiva and parts ef Moraccal He did this by pledging alince
 to the Oioman sultan and getting in return enough ships and we
 Sattle of Preveza153
 using his fleet of 122 ships, Barbarossa retired
 ossa Hayneddin Pasha died in 1546 in his seaside pslace in Istenbul
 #17 KLAUS STÖRTEBEKER
 nd Sweden to fight the Danish and supply the be ieged Swecish ca
 pital Stodholm with provis ons After the end of the war the Victus
 and named themselves "Likedeelers.A large number of myths andle
 withone gup'in ldGemun.The moniker refers to the pirate's ability
 o empty a four-tie mug of beer in ore guip Stortebeker entered
 Brothers from the Batic island of Godand, where they had set up a
 ed by Simon of Utrecht caught up wh Stortebeker's foroe near Hel
 ed by a trafor who cast molten lead into the Iniks which held the
 ker offered a chain of goldlong enough toenclose the whoke of Ham
 bung in eochange for his lfe and freedon, However Stortebeker and
 all his 73 corepanions were sentenced to death It is said that Storte
 beler asked the mayor of Hamburg to release however many of his
 companions he could walk past after being beheaded The rather rs
 alegedly çot up and walked pest twelve of hls compenions before the
 #18 CHING SHIH
 lso knownan ChengISn.Ching Shih s not only the most successful
 fal female pianes sheis a'se the mest fascinating She gained eqa
 her adopted son, Cheung Po Tsal the captain of her fleet lwhich
 oqualed that of al the other nost successtul pisanes combinedi Beau
 hips wth 80 000 men,androbbed andtaoond towns, plundering ships
 long the coast of the South China Sea all the whleenfaring a strict
 code of conduct upon har men. She also mamed her adopted son
 eother hand, were able to keep their riches and were given military
 jobs She livedout her63 years incharge of a casiho and brothel wih
 plundened Spanish chies oft tha coast of Florida, gving him tha nick
 name El Draque or Dace (the Drgonm). Most famous of his con-
 quest wene on the port af Nombe de Diosin 1572 and ports of Sando
 Oomingo and Cartagens in 1585 King Philp I was said to huwe offe-
 red a reward for his capture or deah of 23.000 ducats, about E$6S
 mlion by modem standards Healso saled to North America and cla-
 ned new landon the Pacifc coast for Queen Elizabeth becoming the
 successfulEngish colonists af Roancke bland off the coast of the Ca
 oins and gree them pasage to England wbound his wisel After an
 Bustrious creer Dake died off the coast of Fanama to something as
 #20 HENRY MORGAN
 The Wakh Captain Henry Margan is one of the mest amous pirtes
 buit ha neputation as a piate when he plundered Santiago De Cb
 Worgan became the beed of the Jamalcan feet and successfully un
 hy Panama City with thirty sips and 1.200 men,aquring his largest
 plunder yet.it was dlue to his aid on Panama City that he was anested
 him ล5 deputy govermor of Jamaica There, he lived a very welespec.
 SORRY FOR LONG POST
 HERE'S A PIRATE POTATO
 HAVE A NICE DAY)
The Most Famous Pirates - Part 4

The Most Famous Pirates - Part 4

Confused, Target, and Tumblr: tyleroakley: shepherdpomshi4: wallisgloom: squided: chex-quest: tyleroakley: #2006vs2016: some things never change лагер Ласло hallobeanies, лагер Ласло последния епизод, лагер Ласло обичат болни, лагер Ласло meatman, епизоди лагер Ласло, лагер Ласло забавни моменти, лагер Ласло хот-дог епизод, лагер Ласло Свети Валентин, лагер Ласло край, лагер Ласло, лагер Ласло боб и кренвирши, лагер Ласло пълни епизоди, лагер Ласло където е Ласло, лагер Ласло чужденец епизод, лагер Ласло сте там Смитс, лагер балсам Ласло въздух, лагер Ласло AMV, лагер Ласло животни, лагер Ласло арабика,  лагер Ласло работа и тор, лагер Ласло невероятно състезание, лагер отваряне Ласло аниме, лагер Ласло зърна са от Марс, лагер Ласло боулинг за динозаври, лагер Ласло е Едуард, лагер Ласло оригване, лагер Ласло бебе боб, лагер Ласло броня, лагер Ласло боб в Страната на играчките, лагер Ласло бокса Едуард, лагер Ласло burpless, лагер Ласло мида, лагер Ласло Колед I thought translating it would clear things up but I’m more confused than ever before.   *touches soil*something awful happened here Wtf is going on in this post some things never change
Confused, Target, and Tumblr: tyleroakley:

shepherdpomshi4:
wallisgloom:

squided:


chex-quest:

tyleroakley:
#2006vs2016: some things never change
лагер Ласло hallobeanies,
лагер Ласло последния епизод,
лагер Ласло обичат болни,
лагер Ласло meatman,
епизоди лагер Ласло,
лагер Ласло забавни моменти,
лагер Ласло хот-дог епизод,
лагер Ласло Свети Валентин,
лагер Ласло край,
лагер Ласло,
лагер Ласло боб и кренвирши,
лагер Ласло пълни епизоди,
лагер Ласло където е Ласло,
лагер Ласло чужденец епизод,
лагер Ласло сте там Смитс,
лагер балсам Ласло въздух,
лагер Ласло AMV,
лагер Ласло животни,
лагер Ласло арабика, 

лагер Ласло работа и тор,
лагер Ласло невероятно състезание,
лагер отваряне Ласло аниме,
лагер Ласло зърна са от Марс,
лагер Ласло боулинг за динозаври,
лагер Ласло е Едуард,
лагер Ласло оригване,
лагер Ласло бебе боб,
лагер Ласло броня,
лагер Ласло боб в Страната на играчките,
лагер Ласло бокса Едуард,
лагер Ласло burpless,
лагер Ласло мида,
лагер Ласло Колед



I thought translating it would clear things up but I’m more confused than ever before.  


*touches soil*something awful happened here


Wtf is going on in this post

some things never change

tyleroakley: shepherdpomshi4: wallisgloom: squided: chex-quest: tyleroakley: #2006vs2016: some things never change лагер Ласло hallobea...

Bones, Dumbledore, and Fucking: yeh'll need a lot more study betore yeil gerter thatteve Hagrid wouldn't let Harry buy a solid gold cauldron, either ( says pewter on yer list), but they got a nice set of scales for weighing potion ingredients and a collapsible brass telescope fleamontpotter: fleamontpotter: fleamontpotter: pansiparknson fleamontpotter The boy has never had anything nice and the second he gets his hands on some money he tries to buy a fucking solid gold cauldron like started from the bottom now we here I love him so much Honestly Hagrid saved Harry from so much embarrassment. Can you imagine him turning up to his first potions lesson with a fucking solid gold cauldron??? Like Snape already hated Harry think about what he would have said if Harry just plonked that on his desk I think he would have said fuck it to his promise to dumbledore and murdered Harry on the spot at once. He had to keep reminding himself that he had five years to go at Hogwarts, and how it would feel to ask the Dursleys for money for spellbooks, to stop himsell buying a handsome set of solid gold Gobstones (a wizarding game rather like marbles, in AGAIN WITH THE SOLID GOLD POSSESSIONS HARRY. I'm surprised he never replaced his glasses with solid gold ones the boy clearly has a taste for the finer things in life. Or when he had his bones removed by Lockhart in second year, he probably had to stop himself from asking Pomfrey to just fill his arm up with gold instead of bones. NO WONDER HE CAN SEE THE FUCKIN SNITCH SO WELL HE'S ON THE HUNT FOR GOLD 25,088 notes Harry Potter and the Quest for Gold
Bones, Dumbledore, and Fucking: yeh'll need a lot more
 study
 betore
 yeil
 gerter
 thatteve
 Hagrid wouldn't let Harry buy a solid gold cauldron, either (
 says pewter on yer list), but they got a nice set of scales for
 weighing potion ingredients and a collapsible brass telescope
 fleamontpotter:
 fleamontpotter:
 fleamontpotter:
 pansiparknson
 fleamontpotter
 The boy has never had anything nice and the second
 he gets his hands on some money he tries to buy a
 fucking solid gold cauldron like started from the
 bottom now we here I love him so much
 Honestly Hagrid saved Harry from so much
 embarrassment. Can you imagine him turning up to his
 first potions lesson with a fucking solid gold
 cauldron??? Like Snape already hated Harry think
 about what he would have said if Harry just plonked that
 on his desk
 I think he would have said fuck it to his promise to
 dumbledore and murdered Harry on the spot
 at once. He had to keep reminding himself that he had five years
 to go at Hogwarts, and how it would feel to ask the Dursleys for
 money for spellbooks, to stop himsell buying a handsome set of
 solid gold Gobstones (a wizarding game rather like marbles, in
 AGAIN WITH THE SOLID GOLD POSSESSIONS HARRY.
 I'm surprised he never replaced his glasses with solid gold
 ones the boy clearly has a taste for the finer things in life. Or
 when he had his bones removed by Lockhart in second year,
 he probably had to stop himself from asking Pomfrey to just
 fill his arm up with gold instead of bones.
 NO WONDER HE CAN SEE THE FUCKIN SNITCH SO WELL
 HE'S ON THE HUNT FOR GOLD
 25,088 notes
Harry Potter and the Quest for Gold

Harry Potter and the Quest for Gold

Children, Friends, and Love: 3dspacejesus asked: [Prompt]: A fantasy world is so used to human children arriving to go on quests and learn moral lessons that they've set up a whole bureaucracy to deal with it. "Name? Trudy C- "Is that a nickname?I need vour full name." ..Gertrude Chau." "Favorite mythical creature? "Unicorns. ".do vou have a second favorite?" Mermaids?" "l can get you mermaids. What were you doing before you - how did you say you got here?" " looked under my bed for monsters and fell. Scribble scribble. "Before that, what were you doing?" We just moved and -" "Hang on - Papers rustle. "Which of the following best describes your attitude excitement about your new opportunities, apprehension about your new school or neighborhood, resentment at loss of old friends and familiar settings, or other? "what does resentment mean? "It means you're mad that they were taken away." "That one." "Okay And, fingerprints here in case you take longer on your quest than you're supposed to and we need to do a locator spell; and would you like a dagger, magic wand, animal companion, or bow and arrows?" "I only get one?" "You can combine the animal companion with another option if you fill out form 37-J- "Tll just take the magic wand. "There's a bin of them by the door, take one and then recite this fairy summoning chant to call a guide fairy and be led to your destination." Stamp check, peeling of carbon paper. "This is your copy. Next!" Tags: I love it, make it happen The Department of Fantasy Quests for Human Children
Children, Friends, and Love: 3dspacejesus asked: [Prompt]: A fantasy world is so used to human
 children arriving to go on quests and learn moral lessons that they've set
 up a whole bureaucracy to deal with it.
 "Name?
 Trudy C-
 "Is that a nickname?I need vour full name."
 ..Gertrude Chau."
 "Favorite mythical creature?
 "Unicorns.
 ".do vou have a second favorite?"
 Mermaids?"
 "l can get you mermaids. What were you doing before you - how did you say
 you got here?"
 " looked under my bed for monsters and fell.
 Scribble scribble. "Before that, what were you doing?"
 We just moved and -"
 "Hang on - Papers rustle. "Which of the following best describes your attitude
 excitement about your new opportunities, apprehension about your new school
 or neighborhood, resentment at loss of old friends and familiar settings, or
 other?
 "what does resentment mean?
 "It means you're mad that they were taken away."
 "That one."
 "Okay And, fingerprints here in case you take longer on your quest than you're
 supposed to and we need to do a locator spell; and would you like a dagger,
 magic wand, animal companion, or bow and arrows?"
 "I only get one?"
 "You can combine the animal companion with another option if you fill out form
 37-J-
 "Tll just take the magic wand.
 "There's a bin of them by the door, take one and then recite this fairy
 summoning chant to call a guide fairy and be led to your destination." Stamp
 check, peeling of carbon paper. "This is your copy. Next!"
 Tags: I love it, make it happen
The Department of Fantasy Quests for Human Children

The Department of Fantasy Quests for Human Children