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Clothes, cnn.com, and Dumb: The Independent @Independent Here's what you should do in the event of a nuclear attack ind.pn/ 2piOhjW 8/9/17, 3:19 PM NBC News @NBCNews NBC NEWS "Don't run. Get inside". What experts say to do in case of a nuclear attack nbcnews.to/2VNWTmt 8/9/17, 9:30 AM CN CNN @CNN Hawaii is preparing in case of a North Korea attack. Experts say you have about 15 min. to take cover after a launch cnn.it/2upXdZ9 biggest-goldiest-spoon: zoanzon: missmwynter: madlyinlov3onda: oakenroots: oakenroots: quietrain: shesheistyy: tripprophet: weavemama: ladies and gentlemen we have officially reached the “in case a nuclear attack happens” phase……. [x] This shit is wild. Wtf a table finna do for anybody?? There’s basically nothing you can do but die they’re doing this to give people a sense of safety , even though we full well know this won’t work at all. ALRIGHT KIDDOS LISTEN UP! I did emergency management for the air force which involves this fun thing called Plume Modelling (aka chart the path of death for a given bomb based on its payload, distance, type of detonation, etc) and let me tell you some actual LEGIT™ methods of minimizing damage to your life. Unless you are within the vaporization zone (where you turn into a fucking shadow because of your proximity to the blast) there is a specific order of events nuke blasts cause and there are ways to protect against these things. 1. There is this thing called a flash to bang ratio. It is really freaking important. The first wave from a nuke is a blinding flash of light that can literally FRY YOUR RETINAS. If you believe that a nuke has just dropped on your city, HIDE AND DONT LOOK AT IT. @shesheistyy a good solid table is good for this but you’re way less likely to go blind if you get to an internal room with no windows, especially one below ground. 2. After the flash there will be the bang. If the time between the flash and the bang, counted in Mississippi seconds, is more than 10 seconds you MIGHT survive and just die of cancer later. If it’s between five and 10 buckle up kiddos because the worst is yet to come. And well if it’s less than 3 you won’t live long enough to remember this. These are loose estimates only. 3. The “bang” usually announces the arrival of the fire ball. Yes. A massive heat shock will erupt from the core of the bomb and light pretty much every thing it comes into contact with, including your flesh, on fire. Back to that whole “metal buildings underground” thing. There’s really no getting around the whole getting lit on fire if you’re too close thing. 4. Fallout. When the bomb goes off it sucks all of the shit it just vaporized up into the air with it and as the blast cools, it begins to rain down the radioactive fucked molten wreckage onto everyone in a huge radius. Just because the fallout you can see has stopped doesn’t mean the molecular radiation has stopped. The survival factors for nuclear blasts are time, distance and shielding. The longer it takes for it to get to you the less of it there is. The further away from the source the less dead you are. Want to survive? Put 6 feet of concrete and/or 2 feet of lead between you and everything else. Yes. Those loons with their bunkers actually got something right. NOW! About radiation! If you are so fortunate as to survive one of these blasts and not be vaporized or burnt to a crisp or die of radiation poisoning within hours, you need to understand the types of radiation. Gamma radiation is the most “severe” in that it can penetrate your flesh through your clothes and house, causing severe illness. Gamma radiation fucks with your cell walls and disrupts your DNA. It kills you in hours, months or years. Some people survive decades. Think of gamma like the sun. Too much exposure gives you cancer. Now Beta, on the other hand, think of Beta particles like sand on the beach. Its in the air. Its in your clothes, in the creases of your fingers. But beta particles can burn through your flesh or get into your blood stream through open wounds. Luckily they can be stopped with nonporous materials, like rubber, or foil. Make that two points for the loony conspiracy theorists. Aluminum foil does protect from beta radiation. And finally, Alpha radiation. Think of alpha Radiation like dust motes. It takes a high density filter to prevent you from breathing them in and if you’re surrounded by rubble they’re probably everywhere. Alpha particles do the same thing as beta particles in terms of getting into your system and wrecking your shit. So! Survival? Most likely based on dumb luck. But! If you think you’re being nuked 1. get under ground or at least to an internal room of the building if no other options are available. 2. CLOSE YOUR EYES. Curl into the fetal position to protect your orifices and vital organs from gamma radiation and get low to the ground to reduce damage from the blast and potential ceiling collapse. 3.You will still feel the flash pass over you. Count. One, two, three… If you aren’t vaporized yet keep counting. Pray to every god ever imagined that you get to 10 before you hear the bang. 4. Bang. Try not to shit yourself. The fireball will follow almost instantly if you’re in range. Be prepared to start rolling to put yourself out. 5. Fallout rains down. Do not open your eyes. Do not stop praying. As hard as it is because time will feel as if it has slowed to a crawl, try not to leave your position for at least 30 minutes, although 60 minutes is better. At 30 minutes, only 60% of the potential fall out has fallen but by 60 minutes, up to 90% may have come down. 6. Remember, Alpha and beta radiation are particles. Do not put anything in your body that has not been thoroughly washed, dusted of or came from a sealed package. Point 3 for the conspiracy theorists, hot pockets and canned food are probably still safe. Do not leave shelter without goggles, and try to wrap yourself in a minimum of those weird space blankets but rubber and metal lined suits (like hazmat suits) are best for the job. Good luck in the future apocalypse! Reblogged with improved readability! Look whats Relevant again… I wonder if there’s any where to watch White Light, Black Rain. Saw it back in highschool. History repeats and all that jazz. After all, It’s not like ‘duck and cover’ and other nuclear protection methods of dubious quality weren’t a mainstream in the Cold War or anything… We’ve been here before. It’s just the first time around for us younger crowd. Stay safe.
Clothes, cnn.com, and Dumb: The Independent
 @Independent
 Here's what you should do in the
 event of a nuclear attack ind.pn/
 2piOhjW
 8/9/17, 3:19 PM

 NBC News
 @NBCNews
 NBC NEWS
 "Don't run. Get inside". What experts
 say to do in case of a nuclear attack
 nbcnews.to/2VNWTmt
 8/9/17, 9:30 AM

 CN
 CNN
 @CNN
 Hawaii is preparing in case of a North
 Korea attack. Experts say you have
 about 15 min. to take cover after a
 launch cnn.it/2upXdZ9
biggest-goldiest-spoon:

zoanzon:

missmwynter:

madlyinlov3onda:

oakenroots:

oakenroots:


quietrain:

shesheistyy:

tripprophet:


weavemama:

ladies and gentlemen we have officially reached the “in case a nuclear attack happens” phase……. [x]

This shit is wild.


Wtf a table finna do for anybody?? There’s basically nothing you can do but die

they’re doing this to give people a sense of safety , even though we full well know this won’t work at all.

ALRIGHT KIDDOS LISTEN UP! I did emergency management for the air force which involves this fun thing called Plume Modelling (aka chart the path of death for a given bomb based on its payload, distance, type of detonation, etc) and let me tell you some actual LEGIT™ methods of minimizing damage to your life. 
Unless you are within the vaporization zone (where you turn into a fucking shadow because of your proximity to the blast) there is a specific order of events nuke blasts cause and there are ways to protect against these things.

1. There is this thing called a flash to bang ratio. It is really freaking important. The first wave from a nuke is a blinding flash of light that can literally FRY YOUR RETINAS. If you believe that a nuke has just dropped on your city, HIDE AND DONT LOOK AT IT. @shesheistyy a good solid table is good for this but you’re way less likely to go blind if you get to an internal room with no windows, especially one below ground. 
2. After the flash there will be the bang. If the time between the flash and the bang, counted in Mississippi seconds, is more than 10 seconds you MIGHT survive and just die of cancer later. If it’s between five and 10 buckle up kiddos because the worst is yet to come. And well if it’s less than 3 you won’t live long enough to remember this. These are loose estimates only. 
3. The “bang” usually announces the arrival of the fire ball. Yes. A massive heat shock will erupt from the core of the bomb and light pretty much every thing it comes into contact with, including your flesh, on fire. Back to that whole “metal buildings underground” thing. There’s really no getting around the whole getting lit on fire if you’re too close thing. 
4. Fallout. When the bomb goes off it sucks all of the shit it just vaporized up into the air with it and as the blast cools, it begins to rain down the radioactive fucked molten wreckage onto everyone in a huge radius. Just because the fallout you can see has stopped doesn’t mean the molecular radiation has stopped. 

The survival factors for nuclear blasts are time, distance and shielding. The longer it takes for it to get to you the less of it there is. The further away from the source the less dead you are. Want to survive? Put 6 feet of concrete and/or 2 feet of lead between you and everything else. Yes. Those loons with their bunkers actually got something right. 

NOW! About radiation! If you are so fortunate as to survive one of these blasts and not be vaporized or burnt to a crisp or die of radiation poisoning within hours, you need to understand the types of radiation. 

Gamma radiation is the most “severe” in that it can penetrate your flesh through your clothes and house, causing severe illness. Gamma radiation fucks with your cell walls and disrupts your DNA. It kills you in hours, months or years. Some people survive decades. Think of gamma like the sun. Too much exposure gives you cancer. 

Now Beta, on the other hand, think of Beta particles like sand on the beach. Its in the air. Its in your clothes, in the creases of your fingers. But beta particles can burn through your flesh or get into your blood stream through open wounds. Luckily they can be stopped with nonporous materials, like rubber, or foil. Make that two points for the loony conspiracy theorists. Aluminum foil does protect from beta radiation. 

And finally, Alpha radiation. Think of alpha Radiation like dust motes. It takes a high density filter to prevent you from breathing them in and if you’re surrounded by rubble they’re probably everywhere. Alpha particles do the same thing as beta particles in terms of getting into your system and wrecking your shit. 

So! Survival? Most likely based on dumb luck. But! If you think you’re being nuked
1. get under ground or at least to an internal room of the building if no other options are available. 
2. CLOSE YOUR EYES. Curl into the fetal position to protect your orifices and vital organs from gamma radiation and get low to the ground to reduce damage from the blast and potential ceiling collapse. 
3.You will still feel the flash pass over you. Count. One, two, three… If you aren’t vaporized yet keep counting. Pray to every god ever imagined that you get to 10 before you hear the bang. 
4. Bang. Try not to shit yourself. The fireball will follow almost instantly if you’re in range. Be prepared to start rolling to put yourself out. 
5. Fallout rains down. Do not open your eyes. Do not stop praying. As hard as it is because time will feel as if it has slowed to a crawl, try not to leave your position for at least 30 minutes, although 60 minutes is better. At 30 minutes, only 60% of the potential fall out has fallen but by 60 minutes, up to 90% may have come down. 
6. Remember, Alpha and beta radiation are particles. Do not put anything in your body that has not been thoroughly washed, dusted of or came from a sealed package. Point 3 for the conspiracy theorists, hot pockets and canned food are probably still safe. Do not leave shelter without goggles, and try to wrap yourself in a minimum of those weird space blankets but rubber and metal lined suits (like hazmat suits) are best for the job. 

Good luck in the future apocalypse!


Reblogged with improved readability!

Look whats Relevant again…


I wonder if there’s any where to watch White Light, Black Rain. Saw it back in highschool.

History repeats and all that jazz.
After all, It’s not like ‘duck and cover’ and other nuclear protection methods of dubious quality weren’t a mainstream in the Cold War or anything…
We’ve been here before.
It’s just the first time around for us younger crowd.


Stay safe.

biggest-goldiest-spoon: zoanzon: missmwynter: madlyinlov3onda: oakenroots: oakenroots: quietrain: shesheistyy: tripprophet: weave...

Alive, Anaconda, and Animals: i-should-be-writing-rn: inlovewithaleheather: thecuckoohaslanded: gerbthenerd: alexander-lamington: thelizardprincess: biglawbear: blacksirencry: swaglexander-the-great: #That’s a#That’s a blue ringed octopus#You’re going to die do you realise that#It is literally one of the most deadly animals in the world#Not just in Australia or just in the ocean in THE WORLD#Put it DOWN#And go to a hospital jfc via platonic-rabbit  me tryna find out if this fool died “The blue-ringed octopus, despite its small size, carries enough venom to kill twenty-six adult humans within minutes. Their bites are tiny and often painless, with many victims not realizing they have been envenomated until respiratory depression and paralysis start to set in.[8] No blue-ringed octopus antivenom is available yet, making it one of the deadliest reef inhabitants in the ocean.” Holy shit And this is why I don’t go in the ocean anymore Also the blue rings literally only show up when it is distressed so this person has angered it!!! You are in danger friend!!! Actually this guy keeps them as pets they’re on his instagram (william_exotique) and he frequently holds then and I just? Don’t know why? And also every picture or video he posts of them shows the blue rings so they’re always in distress I just do not understand why he’s doing this #AMY EXPLAIN HOW DUMB THIS GUY IS  I mean OP pretty much covered it.  A blue ringed octopus is almost on the level of CONE SNAIL on the list of things you ABSOLUTELY DO NOT PICK UP UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES. But ask and you shall receive,  On this episode of “Fun Facts With Cuckoo,” DEAD.  YOU’RE DEAD.  EVERYTHING IS DEAD AND YOU SHOULD NEVER TOUCH ANYTHING IN THE OCEAN EVER AGAIN. There are many things that will kill you. [citation needed] There are fewer, but still many things that will kill you FAST. There are yet fewer things that kill you fast and by such an overwhelming margin of overkill that nervous laughter is our only solace in the dark of this terrible, surprisingly Lovecraftian world of unearthly horrors that we live in. Of the things that I know about which will kill you fast via just plain insultingly potent venom, which is a not insignificant number of things because I know a not insignificant number of things, there are about 3 things in the ocean – IN THE WHOLE OCEAN – which are so insanely, mind-bogglingly deadly that there is pretty much no possible hope for survival (I mean you CAN, but god help you if you’re ever in that situation, because god’s just about damn near the only thing that CAN help you).  THE. WHOLE. OCEAN. Those three things are the Irukandji (a tiny (1cm) species of box jellyfish, which has stingers not only on its tentacles but on its BELL, for reasons no one has definitively figured out, and is so toxic despite its size its sting can cause a severe brain hemorrhage), the cone snail (a group of carnivorous sea snails that is accepted to be the most venomous animals on earth, with a STUPIDLY fast acting and extremely powerful neurotoxin that has in at least one case killed a human ALMOST INSTANTANEOUSLY, because the swimmer who found two beautiful shells (unfortunately cone snails tend to have very pretty shells which makes people want to pick them up) was holding them up for a picture and ended up being stabbed in the neck by not one but TWO cone snails at the same time, and it is believed that she was literally dead before she hit the ground, I mean LITERALLY in a 100% non-fictional and non-exaggerated way, in between the time the two cone snails stabbed her and the time her limp body hit the sand, she was not alive anymore), and the blue ringed octopus. It is POSSIBLE to survive any of these.  But not without immediate medical attention.  Of these three, the Irukandji is by far the most treatable, because Australia and other coastal regions (including Florida and other parts of the US) are kind of experienced in dealing with box jellyfish. The blue ringed octopus will fucking kill you.  There’s no antidote for their venom, ONE COMPONENT OF WHICH (tetrodotoxin) is 1200 times deadlier than cyanide.  It’s a powerful neurotoxin (most of the worst venoms are because the species that produce them need to kill or at least paralyze their prey quickly, like jellyfish whose fragile tentacles could be damaged if their food doesn’t stop struggling) that attacks the sodium channels and causes muscle paralysis.  It doesn’t necessarily kill you quickly.  It PARALYZES you quickly, so that you can’t really call for help or describe the problem, and you will probably end up slowly suffocating from a paralyzed diaphragm.  Tetrodotoxin can be metabolized by the body in a matter of hours, but it can also kill you in a matter of minutes if you get a lethal dose (which isn’t much, the LD50 or median lethal dose, the dose at which you have a 50% chance of survival, is only 8 MICROGRAMS per kilogram of body weight (as tested in mice)).  This is, by venom standards, not a large amount, which means the animal that is capable of putting this venom inside your body is very very good at killing the absolute shit out of you. DON’T TOUCH THE BLUE RINGED OCTOPUS. Now, because overkill is my motto, let me briefly explain why Conus geographus is the undisputed champion of YOU WILL NOT SURVIVE, AND FURTHERMORE FUCK YOU FOR THINKING OTHERWISE. A cone snail walks into a bar.  You’d expect the bartender to ask, “what’s your poison,” but they were paralyzed before they could ask and OH LOOK they’re already FUCKING DEAD ON THE GROUND. Conus geographus is about 4-6 inches long and nature’s equivalent of Avada Kedavra.  Cone snails literally have their own KIND of toxins named after them: conotoxin.  Not only is there no antidote, but their venom AGGRESSIVELY RESISTS our ability to find a cure, because we barely understand how it works AND conotoxins are so internally varied, even within a single species, that any one antidote isn’t going to help because they’re constantly mutating and evolving their venom to prevent their prey from evolving a resistance to it.  Plus their venom is like, a bunch of different venoms all at once JUST IN CASE any one of them wasn’t good enough. I want you to read these two sentences from the wiki page on conotoxin: “Conotoxins have a variety of mechanisms of actions, most of which have not been determined.” “The LD50 of conotoxin is 50 ng/kg.” Remember how the LD50 of tetrodotoxin is 8μg/kg?  Conotoxin is 160 times more potent.  FIFTY NANOGRAMS PER KILOGRAM HAS A 50% CHANCE OF KILLING YOU. A 220-POUND HUMAN HAS A 50% CHANCE OF SURVIVAL AGAINST JUST 5 MICROGRAMS OF CONOTOXIN.   I DID SOME MATH.   IT WOULD TAKE 7-9 MILLIGRAMS OF CONOTOXIN TO KILL A BLUE WHALE, THE HEAVIEST ANIMAL TO EVER LIVE. (based on weight estimates from 300-400,000 lbs.) Conus geographus is so fucking deadly that “In two cases of envenomation, only 0.0002-0.0005 mg resulted in severe paralysis.” THIS THING KILLS STUFF SO HARD THAT BEFORE YOU HEAR THE FIRST “MORTAL KOMBAT” IN THE MORTAL KOMBAT THEME, THERE’S PROBABLY ALREADY BEEN A FATALITY. And guess what?  Cone snails don’t do that NOOB SHIT with the superficial biting or stinging.  Your wetsuit or gloves won’t protect you.  Because homeboy didn’t bring teeth to evolution’s knife fight.  Oh no.  It brought a motherfucking radula POISON HARPOON.  It’s lightning fast and has way more piercing power than some silly little cnidocytes or salivary bacteria. Another component of their venom is being researched for its potential as a pain reliever.  “WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT????” you might reasonably ask.  And you would be right to do so, because science has gone too far and has surely sinned against the very image of Mollusca Kedavra.  Well, it turns out the answer is “Research shows that certain component proteins of the venom target specific human pain receptors and can be up to 10,000 times more potent than morphine without morphine’s addictive properties and side-effects.”  That’s right, the part of their venom that SPECIFICALLY DOESN’T HURT YOU is up to 10,000 times more potent than morphine. Also, Conus geographus (along with one other cone snail species, C. tulipa) is the only known non-human animal to weaponize insulin.  In addition to the normal insulin that the snails produce for their own use, their bodies manufacture an ADDITIONAL insulin molecule that is similar to the kind produced in fish (which they eat) for the sole purpose of stunning their prey through hypoglycemic shock.  BECAUSE APPARENTLY THEY DON’T FEEL LIKE THEY’D KILL YOU HARD ENOUGH OTHERWISE. IF you are going to survive the ALMIGHTY CONE SNAIL, WHO KNOWS NO FEAR, TRIUMPHANT HEDGEMON OF THE MOLECULAR ARMS RACE, TRUE BORN HEIR TO THE SCYTHE OF DEATH ITSELF, FISHSLAYER, GOD AMONG MOLLUSKS, WHOSE WRATH IS MERCIFUL ONLY IN ITS BREVITY, ADMIRABLE IN ITS BEAUTY AND UNSULLIED BY THE UNWORTHY TOUCH OF MORTAL HANDS OR SCALES OR REALLY ANYTHING IN RANGE OF ITS RADULA HARPOON, then literally the only thing that’s going to save you is for you to be kept alive artificially (externalizing your respiratory functions to force your body to continue breathing, basically) until the effects of the venom wear off.  And because of how quickly this venom acts, you need to get that medical attention VERY, VERY FAST. And if you don’t get it, you will still be conscious while the paralysis slowly suffocates you to death. Don’t touch the pretty shells. I’ve never been so intrigued to learn how easily I could be fucking exterminated from existence by the overpowered sea creatures of the world. You’ve done a better job at keeping my attention then any of my teachers ever have. You know what I’m putting this on the writing blog cause I personally can see potential in some fantasy villain attempting to weaponise cone snailsIn which case, all hail snail king 🐌
Alive, Anaconda, and Animals: i-should-be-writing-rn:

inlovewithaleheather:

thecuckoohaslanded:


gerbthenerd:

alexander-lamington:


thelizardprincess:


biglawbear:


blacksirencry:

swaglexander-the-great:


#That’s a#That’s a blue ringed octopus#You’re going to die do you realise that#It is literally one of the most deadly animals in the world#Not just in Australia or just in the ocean in THE WORLD#Put it DOWN#And go to a hospital jfc via platonic-rabbit 
me tryna find out if this fool died


“The blue-ringed octopus, despite its small size, carries enough venom to kill twenty-six adult humans within minutes. Their bites are tiny and often painless, with many victims not realizing they have been envenomated until respiratory depression and paralysis start to set in.[8] No blue-ringed octopus antivenom is available yet, making it one of the deadliest reef inhabitants in the ocean.”
Holy shit


And this is why I don’t go in the ocean anymore


Also the blue rings literally only show up when it is distressed so this person has angered it!!! You are in danger friend!!!


Actually this guy keeps them as pets they’re on his instagram (william_exotique) and he frequently holds then and I just? Don’t know why? And also every picture or video he posts of them shows the blue rings so they’re always in distress I just do not understand why he’s doing this



#AMY EXPLAIN HOW DUMB THIS GUY IS 
I mean OP pretty much covered it.  A blue ringed octopus is almost on the level of CONE SNAIL on the list of things you ABSOLUTELY DO NOT PICK UP UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES.
But ask and you shall receive,  On this episode of “Fun Facts With Cuckoo,” DEAD.  YOU’RE DEAD.  EVERYTHING IS DEAD AND YOU SHOULD NEVER TOUCH ANYTHING IN THE OCEAN EVER AGAIN.
There are many things that will kill you.

[citation needed]
There are fewer, but still many things that will kill you FAST.
There are yet fewer things that kill you fast and by such an overwhelming margin of overkill that nervous laughter is our only solace in the dark of this terrible, surprisingly Lovecraftian world of unearthly horrors that we live in.
Of the things that I know about which will kill you fast via just plain insultingly potent venom, which is a not insignificant number of things because I know a not insignificant number of things, there are about 3 things in the ocean – IN THE WHOLE OCEAN – which are so insanely, mind-bogglingly deadly that there is pretty much no possible hope for survival (I mean you CAN, but god help you if you’re ever in that situation, because god’s just about damn near the only thing that CAN help you).  THE. WHOLE. OCEAN.
Those three things are the Irukandji (a tiny (1cm) species of box jellyfish, which has stingers not only on its tentacles but on its BELL, for reasons no one has definitively figured out, and is so toxic despite its size its sting can cause a severe brain hemorrhage), the cone snail (a group of carnivorous sea snails that is accepted to be the most venomous animals on earth, with a STUPIDLY fast acting and extremely powerful neurotoxin that has in at least one case killed a human ALMOST INSTANTANEOUSLY, because the swimmer who found two beautiful shells (unfortunately cone snails tend to have very pretty shells which makes people want to pick them up) was holding them up for a picture and ended up being stabbed in the neck by not one but TWO cone snails at the same time, and it is believed that she was literally dead before she hit the ground, I mean LITERALLY in a 100% non-fictional and non-exaggerated way, in between the time the two cone snails stabbed her and the time her limp body hit the sand, she was not alive anymore), and the blue ringed octopus.
It is POSSIBLE to survive any of these.  But not without immediate medical attention.  Of these three, the Irukandji is by far the most treatable, because Australia and other coastal regions (including Florida and other parts of the US) are kind of experienced in dealing with box jellyfish.
The blue ringed octopus will fucking kill you.  There’s no antidote for their venom, ONE COMPONENT OF WHICH (tetrodotoxin) is 1200 times deadlier than cyanide.  It’s a powerful neurotoxin (most of the worst venoms are because the species that produce them need to kill or at least paralyze their prey quickly, like jellyfish whose fragile tentacles could be damaged if their food doesn’t stop struggling) that attacks the sodium channels and causes muscle paralysis.  It doesn’t necessarily kill you quickly.  It PARALYZES you quickly, so that you can’t really call for help or describe the problem, and you will probably end up slowly suffocating from a paralyzed diaphragm.  Tetrodotoxin can be metabolized by the body in a matter of hours, but it can also kill you in a matter of minutes if you get a lethal dose (which isn’t much, the 

LD50

 or median lethal dose, the dose at which you have a 50% chance of survival, is only 8 MICROGRAMS per kilogram of body weight (as tested in mice)).  This is, by venom standards, not a large amount, which means the animal that is capable of putting this venom inside your body is very very good at killing the absolute shit out of you.
DON’T TOUCH THE BLUE RINGED OCTOPUS.
Now, because overkill is my motto, let me briefly explain why Conus geographus is the undisputed champion of YOU WILL NOT SURVIVE, AND FURTHERMORE FUCK YOU FOR THINKING OTHERWISE.
A cone snail walks into a bar.  You’d expect the bartender to ask, “what’s your poison,” but they were paralyzed before they could ask and OH LOOK they’re already FUCKING DEAD ON THE GROUND.
Conus geographus is about 4-6 inches long and nature’s equivalent of Avada Kedavra.  Cone snails literally have their own KIND of toxins named after them: conotoxin.  Not only is there no antidote, but their venom AGGRESSIVELY RESISTS our ability to find a cure, because we barely understand how it works AND conotoxins are so internally varied, even within a single species, that any one antidote isn’t going to help because they’re constantly mutating and evolving their venom to prevent their prey from evolving a resistance to it.  Plus their venom is like, a bunch of different venoms all at once JUST IN CASE any one of them wasn’t good enough.
I want you to read these two sentences from the wiki page on conotoxin:
“Conotoxins have a variety of mechanisms of actions, most of which have not been determined.”


“The LD50 of conotoxin is 50 ng/kg.”
Remember how the 

LD50 of tetrodotoxin is 8μg/kg?  Conotoxin is 160 times more potent.  FIFTY NANOGRAMS PER KILOGRAM HAS A 50% CHANCE OF KILLING YOU. A 220-POUND HUMAN HAS A 50% CHANCE OF SURVIVAL AGAINST JUST 5 MICROGRAMS OF CONOTOXIN.  
I DID SOME MATH.  
IT WOULD TAKE 7-9 MILLIGRAMS OF CONOTOXIN TO KILL A BLUE WHALE, THE HEAVIEST ANIMAL TO EVER LIVE. (based on weight estimates from 300-400,000 lbs.)
Conus geographus is so fucking deadly that “In two cases of envenomation, only 0.0002-0.0005 mg resulted in severe paralysis.”
THIS THING KILLS STUFF SO HARD THAT BEFORE YOU HEAR THE FIRST “MORTAL KOMBAT” IN THE MORTAL KOMBAT THEME, THERE’S PROBABLY ALREADY BEEN A FATALITY.
And guess what?  Cone snails don’t do that NOOB SHIT with the superficial biting or stinging.  Your wetsuit or gloves won’t protect you.  Because homeboy didn’t bring teeth to evolution’s knife fight.  Oh no.  It brought a motherfucking radula POISON HARPOON.  It’s lightning fast and has way more piercing power than some silly little cnidocytes or salivary bacteria.
Another component of their venom is being researched for its potential as a pain reliever.  “WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT????” you might reasonably ask.  And you would be right to do so, because science has gone too far and has surely sinned against the very image of Mollusca Kedavra.  Well, it turns out the answer is “Research shows that certain component proteins of the venom target specific human pain receptors and can be up to 10,000 times more potent than morphine without morphine’s addictive properties and side-effects.”  That’s right, the part of their venom that SPECIFICALLY DOESN’T HURT YOU is up to 10,000 times more potent than morphine.
Also, Conus geographus (along with one other cone snail species, C. tulipa) is the only known non-human animal to weaponize insulin.  In addition to the normal insulin that the snails produce for their own use, their bodies manufacture an ADDITIONAL insulin molecule that is similar to the kind produced in fish (which they eat) for the sole purpose of stunning their prey through hypoglycemic shock.  BECAUSE APPARENTLY THEY DON’T FEEL LIKE THEY’D KILL YOU HARD ENOUGH OTHERWISE.
IF you are going to survive the ALMIGHTY CONE SNAIL, WHO KNOWS NO FEAR, TRIUMPHANT HEDGEMON OF THE MOLECULAR ARMS RACE, TRUE BORN HEIR TO THE SCYTHE OF DEATH ITSELF, FISHSLAYER, GOD AMONG MOLLUSKS, WHOSE WRATH IS MERCIFUL ONLY IN ITS BREVITY, ADMIRABLE IN ITS BEAUTY AND UNSULLIED BY THE UNWORTHY TOUCH OF MORTAL HANDS OR SCALES OR REALLY ANYTHING IN RANGE OF ITS RADULA HARPOON, then literally the only thing that’s going to save you is for you to be kept alive artificially (externalizing your respiratory functions to force your body to continue breathing, basically) until the effects of the venom wear off.  And because of how quickly this venom acts, you need to get that medical attention VERY, VERY FAST.
And if you don’t get it, you will still be conscious while the paralysis slowly suffocates you to death.
Don’t touch the pretty shells.


I’ve never been so intrigued to learn how easily I could be fucking exterminated from existence by the overpowered sea creatures of the world. You’ve done a better job at keeping my attention then any of my teachers ever have.


You know what I’m putting this on the writing blog cause I personally can see potential in some fantasy villain attempting to weaponise cone snailsIn which case, all hail snail king 🐌

i-should-be-writing-rn: inlovewithaleheather: thecuckoohaslanded: gerbthenerd: alexander-lamington: thelizardprincess: biglawbear: ...

Apparently, Bodies , and Children: IG: CONNECTING CONSCIOUSNESS A man named Igor Charkovsky assisted in over 20,000 underwater births. Eventually he begarn experimenting with women giving birth in the ocean. In 1979, when preparing with his team for an underwater birth in the Black Sea, in a few feet of water suddenly three dolphins approached the pregnant woman, pushed everyone out of the way and took over. They scanned the length of her body up and down with sonar, while relaxing the mother and swimming in circles around her. The mother gave birth to the child effortlessly, painlessly and without fear. This began multiple projects with Dolphin-assisted births that spread worldwide. 🐬 @connecting_consciousness 🐬 And 🐬 @connecting.consciousness 🐬 _ Igor Charkovsky, a Russian male mid-wife has assisted in over 20,000 underwater births, but in 1979 he began experiments with dolphins and children. _ His daughter, one of the first modern water-birthers, was in her late twenties when the following incident happened. Charkovsky and his team had taken a woman to the Black Sea for an underwater birth. _ In two feet of water, preparing for the birth, suddenly three dolphins approached, pushed everyone out of the way and took over. They scanned the length of her body (with sonar?), which somehow relaxed the mother and child and gave birth with no pain or fear. _ Apparently all the human midwives were pretty shocked. This opened up the new practice of ‘Dolphin mid-wivery’ which may sound strange, but fits in with the new breed of super-children that are currently coming in to existence. _ For some reason, dolphins are attracted to pregnant women and young children and as most people are aware, the dolphins can also help heal people with mental and psychological problems. But the children, who are being born with the aid of dolphins, at least with the cases documented in Russia, are extraordinary children. _ Most of the have IQ’s of over 150 (genius range again), plus extremely stable emotional bodies and strong physical bodies. They are superior in one way or another. _ Humans are meant to give birth in water. Some three decades of research and the experience of thousands of births has shown that underwater birth is better for the mother and for the baby. The mother is supported by the water which permits her relaxation and easy movement and during delivery of the baby from the womb to water, the buoyancy of the water supports the baby’s brain and protects it at its most vulnerable time. _ RESEARCH: Dolphin Assisted Births - Igor Charkovsky
Apparently, Bodies , and Children: IG: CONNECTING CONSCIOUSNESS
 A man named Igor Charkovsky assisted in over
 20,000 underwater births. Eventually he begarn
 experimenting with women giving birth in the
 ocean. In 1979, when preparing with his team for
 an underwater birth in the Black Sea, in a few feet
 of water suddenly three dolphins approached the
 pregnant woman, pushed everyone out of the way
 and took over. They scanned the length of her body
 up and down with sonar, while relaxing the mother
 and swimming in circles around her. The mother
 gave birth to the child effortlessly, painlessly and
 without fear. This began multiple projects with
 Dolphin-assisted births that spread worldwide.
🐬 @connecting_consciousness 🐬 And 🐬 @connecting.consciousness 🐬 _ Igor Charkovsky, a Russian male mid-wife has assisted in over 20,000 underwater births, but in 1979 he began experiments with dolphins and children. _ His daughter, one of the first modern water-birthers, was in her late twenties when the following incident happened. Charkovsky and his team had taken a woman to the Black Sea for an underwater birth. _ In two feet of water, preparing for the birth, suddenly three dolphins approached, pushed everyone out of the way and took over. They scanned the length of her body (with sonar?), which somehow relaxed the mother and child and gave birth with no pain or fear. _ Apparently all the human midwives were pretty shocked. This opened up the new practice of ‘Dolphin mid-wivery’ which may sound strange, but fits in with the new breed of super-children that are currently coming in to existence. _ For some reason, dolphins are attracted to pregnant women and young children and as most people are aware, the dolphins can also help heal people with mental and psychological problems. But the children, who are being born with the aid of dolphins, at least with the cases documented in Russia, are extraordinary children. _ Most of the have IQ’s of over 150 (genius range again), plus extremely stable emotional bodies and strong physical bodies. They are superior in one way or another. _ Humans are meant to give birth in water. Some three decades of research and the experience of thousands of births has shown that underwater birth is better for the mother and for the baby. The mother is supported by the water which permits her relaxation and easy movement and during delivery of the baby from the womb to water, the buoyancy of the water supports the baby’s brain and protects it at its most vulnerable time. _ RESEARCH: Dolphin Assisted Births - Igor Charkovsky

🐬 @connecting_consciousness 🐬 And 🐬 @connecting.consciousness 🐬 _ Igor Charkovsky, a Russian male mid-wife has assisted in over 20,000 under...

A Dream, Crying, and Driving: soonish. There are no real problems with I know you are asking $1200 and that seems like a good price. Would you be willing to hold it until next week? I really need a car but I have to wait til my taxes come Sorry, I already told someone I wouldn't hold it. That's fine. I've had a hard time finder something reliable in my price range. I'm borrowing my moms car now, but it's tough to get me and her to work and my kids to preschool but were making it work. Hopefully l'll get my taxes back next week. No prob. I actually just want the car to go to someone who needs it. If you need it, you can have it. Thanks so much! I'll let you know as soon as the direct deposits comes through. So excited! No, I mean do you want the car for free? l wanted to make sure whoever got it actually needed it, so I didn't list it as free because everyone would have "needed" it, but probably just resold it What?? Are you serious? You don't have todo that, the price is fine. I wouldn't feel right not paying for it. No, srsly. I want to give it to someone who needs it, and you seem to genuinely need it. It's yours. No money needed I'm crying... are you kidding? Why would you do that? No, not kidding. I don't need it and I figured someone else did. I'm glad you'll be able to use it. Can you meet today or tomorrow? Are you sure? I'm so excited and cat believe this! You have no idea how much this will bless me and my kids! Omg, I'm literally crying right now Yes I can meet whenever you want but I deffnstly don't have money to pay for it right now Lol, no money needed! Really. (except to register it, I guess). Let me know if you need help with that too, I want to get you driving it ASAP THANKS YOU SOOO MUCH Are you real? This feels like a dream This is absolutely amazing !! A woman offered her car for free !
A Dream, Crying, and Driving: soonish. There are no real problems with
 I know you are asking $1200 and that
 seems like a good price. Would you be
 willing to hold it until next week?
 I really need a car but I have to wait til my
 taxes come
 Sorry, I already told someone I wouldn't
 hold it.
 That's fine. I've had a hard time finder
 something reliable in my price range. I'm
 borrowing my moms car now, but it's
 tough to get me and her to work and my
 kids to preschool but were making it work.
 Hopefully l'll get my taxes back next week.
 No prob. I actually just want the car to go
 to someone who needs it. If you need it,
 you can have it.
 Thanks so much! I'll let you know as soon
 as the direct deposits comes through.
 So excited!
 No, I mean do you want the car for free? l
 wanted to make sure whoever got it
 actually needed it, so I didn't list it as free
 because everyone would have "needed" it,
 but probably just resold it
 What?? Are you serious? You don't have
 todo that, the price is fine. I wouldn't feel
 right not paying for it.
 No, srsly. I want to give it to someone who
 needs it, and you seem to genuinely need
 it. It's yours. No money needed
 I'm crying... are you kidding?
 Why would you do that?
 No, not kidding. I don't need it and I
 figured someone else did. I'm glad you'll
 be able to use it. Can you meet today or
 tomorrow?
 Are you sure? I'm so excited and cat
 believe this! You have no idea how much
 this will bless me and my kids! Omg, I'm
 literally crying right now
 Yes I can meet whenever you want but I
 deffnstly don't have money to pay for it
 right now
 Lol, no money needed! Really. (except to
 register it, I guess). Let me know if you
 need help with that too, I want to get you
 driving it ASAP
 THANKS YOU SOOO MUCH
 Are you real? This feels like a dream
This is absolutely amazing !! A woman offered her car for free !

This is absolutely amazing !! A woman offered her car for free !

Ass, Bad, and Crime: wait, you're jewish? i wanna die so bad right now -waaaaay too tall -blood is 3% soda -literally murders innocents and is still widely considered a "smol bean" -good relationship with their mom -hobbies range from making origami to plotting to blow up the moon -really their height is just unreasonable and very intimidating i heard you've been saying some shit grandparents live in korea -little ball of anger -uses napalm as moisturiser -no one is sure if they're actually racist or not thinks they can speak german -lists "kicking inanimate objects" as a hobby got sold fake cocaine once about me on your blog -damaged -iterally no one can bring themselves to like -communicates only in grunts -writes terrible fiction -goes out of their way to upset others -trying desperately to hide the gay (failing) -says shit like "adios" (doesn't speak spanish -leaves agressive voicemails -used to be emo -gets drunk and stabs inanimate objects -has an alien girlfriends and also 700 alter egos -is 103% sure that the world is out to get them way too many Ns little miss finland turns to camera in shock ADAM supreme gentleman -absolutely deplorable shoves an american flag up their ass most mornings takes selfies everywhere -everywhere i said loves their pets -finds depressive thinking arousing horrible handwriting tries. fails. -wants to be Wait, You're Jewish? but can't does rude shit but no one can stay -uses air quotes to patronise others -"feminism is stupid" -can't get laid -has probably had lip injections. and ego injections. "why do girls always go for douchebags" -wears sunglasses indoors. at night. in december. after the last star in the galaxy has burned out. mad at them -all gods are fictional except for themselfays gets asked for I.D. -makes fun of soccer moms but doesn't act hasn't taken a flattering photo in 7 -says weird shit 97% of the time -wears t-shirts with edgy slogans -has v few friends but the friendships they clasifies self as a "cool kid" will not get a haircut hasn't slept ever do have a frighteningly intense 56 brennan's burger bundies gets what they want because they are-worships satan -known as the zodiac killer -takes off their glasses and becomes ets morbid sense of humour that occasionally gets them in trouble wants to have you (over) for dinner behaves drunk while sober and also while drunk. -vastly overestimates their ability to get away with things -does absolutely nothing in a group project and no one gets mad -dog person -has brushed their teeth less than 7 times since birth probably borrowed their cheekbones off a meth addict -greasy grease on top of their grease jeffreysdrunk: luvoxxx: Okeeey so I don’t usually post stuff but a friend of mine asked me to make a true crime tag yourself and I thought tumblr might appreciate it. I have no idea why there’s like 400 typos in it I swear English is my first language wtf. Anyway it’s just a meme it’s not meant to be disrespectful or gross or anything please enjoy my completely unfunny sense of humour. (Also I blatantly stole the d a m a g e d thing from another tag yourself I apologise) I’m grandparents live in Korea and Dahmer lol Way too many Ns *turns to camera in shock* Adam
Ass, Bad, and Crime: wait, you're jewish?
 i wanna die so bad right now
 -waaaaay too tall
 -blood is 3% soda
 -literally murders innocents and is still
 widely considered a "smol bean"
 -good relationship with their mom
 -hobbies range from making origami to
 plotting to blow up the moon
 -really their height is just unreasonable
 and very intimidating
 i heard you've been saying some shit
 grandparents live in korea
 -little ball of anger
 -uses napalm as moisturiser
 -no one is sure if they're actually
 racist or not
 thinks they can speak german
 -lists "kicking inanimate objects"
 as a hobby
 got sold fake cocaine once
 about me on your blog
 -damaged
 -iterally no one can bring themselves to like
 -communicates only in grunts
 -writes terrible fiction
 -goes out of their way to upset others
 -trying desperately to hide the gay (failing)
 -says shit like "adios" (doesn't speak spanish
 -leaves agressive voicemails
 -used to be emo
 -gets drunk and stabs inanimate objects
 -has an alien girlfriends and also 700 alter egos
 -is 103% sure that the world is out to get them
 way too many Ns
 little miss finland
 turns to camera in shock ADAM
 supreme gentleman
 -absolutely deplorable
 shoves an american flag up their ass
 most mornings
 takes selfies everywhere
 -everywhere i said
 loves their pets
 -finds depressive thinking arousing
 horrible handwriting
 tries. fails.
 -wants to be Wait, You're Jewish? but can't does rude shit but no one can stay
 -uses air quotes to patronise others
 -"feminism is stupid"
 -can't get laid
 -has probably had lip injections. and ego
 injections.
 "why do girls always go for douchebags"
 -wears sunglasses indoors. at night. in
 december. after the last star in the galaxy
 has burned out.
 mad at them
 -all gods are fictional except for themselfays gets asked for I.D.
 -makes fun of soccer moms but doesn't act hasn't taken a flattering photo in 7
 -says weird shit 97% of the time
 -wears t-shirts with edgy slogans
 -has v few friends but the friendships they clasifies self as a "cool kid"
 will not get a haircut
 hasn't slept ever
 do have a frighteningly intense
 56
 brennan's burger bundies
 gets what they want because they are-worships satan
 -known as the zodiac killer
 -takes off their glasses and becomes
 ets
 morbid sense of humour that
 occasionally gets them in trouble
 wants to have you (over) for dinner
 behaves drunk while sober and also
 while drunk.
 -vastly overestimates their ability to get
 away with things
 -does absolutely nothing in a group
 project and no one gets mad
 -dog person
 -has brushed their teeth less than 7
 times since birth
 probably borrowed their cheekbones
 off a meth addict
 -greasy grease on top of their grease
jeffreysdrunk:

luvoxxx:

Okeeey so I don’t usually post stuff but a friend of mine asked me to make a true crime tag yourself and I thought tumblr might appreciate it. I have no idea why there’s like 400 typos in it I swear English is my first language wtf. Anyway it’s just a meme it’s not meant to be disrespectful or gross or anything please enjoy my completely unfunny sense of humour. (Also I blatantly stole the  d a m a g e d  thing from another tag yourself I apologise)

I’m grandparents live in Korea and Dahmer lol

Way too many Ns *turns to camera in shock* Adam

jeffreysdrunk: luvoxxx: Okeeey so I don’t usually post stuff but a friend of mine asked me to make a true crime tag yourself and I thought...

Being Alone, Animals, and Beautiful: eutopianext: khaaaaaaaaaan: the-tarot-cafe: She is singing an ancient herding song from mid-north Sweden and Norway. I sense very old vibrations in the calling tones. See what happens to the cows as the singing calls.The singer is Jonna Jinton. Ohohoh, but we have SO MANY of these old songs and tunes (called “kulokk” in Norwegian). Some with lyrics, some without. Some with straight up talking and almost shouting inbetween the most enchanting melodies. They’re using every bit of their voice range to create these tunes, and it’s all based on a wonderful traditional Scaninavian way of singing (that can be a lot more characteristic than in this video, but this is beautiful as well!). In Norway up to the 1800s these amazing women (and only women) spent their summers, often all alone, in the Norwegian mountains to herd and milk cows, and let the animals roam freely. To attract them they would make up these wonderful tunes, and there is even folklore that connects these women to the huldra, which is a Scandinavian forest/mountain siren. She takes the form of a beautiful woman, often portrayed in traditional dresses that partly cover up her animal tail (in Norway a cow’s tail, in Sweden a fox’ tail) that would give away her true nature if anyone saw it. So, the tunes and their effect on animals, combined with these strong women in the beautiful landscape was just too much for people to handle, so people started fantasizing about women like these being straight up supernatural. American version no one asked for: a farmer in Kansas with a trombone.
Being Alone, Animals, and Beautiful: eutopianext:

khaaaaaaaaaan:

the-tarot-cafe:


She is singing an ancient herding song from mid-north Sweden and Norway. I sense very old vibrations in the calling tones. See what happens to the cows as the singing calls.The singer is Jonna Jinton.


Ohohoh, but we have SO MANY of these old songs and tunes (called “kulokk” in Norwegian). Some with lyrics, some without. Some with straight up talking and almost shouting inbetween the most enchanting melodies. They’re using every bit of their voice range to create these tunes, and it’s all based on a wonderful traditional Scaninavian way of singing (that can be a lot more characteristic than in this video, but this is beautiful as well!). 
In Norway up to the 1800s these amazing women (and only women) spent their summers, often all alone, in the Norwegian mountains to herd and milk cows, and let the animals roam freely. To attract them they would make up these wonderful tunes, and there is even folklore that connects these women to the huldra, which is a Scandinavian forest/mountain siren. She takes the form of a beautiful woman, often portrayed in traditional dresses that partly cover up her animal tail (in Norway a cow’s tail, in Sweden a fox’ tail) that would give away her true nature if anyone saw it. 
So, the tunes and their effect on animals, combined with these strong women in the beautiful landscape was just too much for people to handle, so people started fantasizing about women like these being straight up supernatural.

American version no one asked for: a farmer
 in Kansas

 with a trombone.

eutopianext: khaaaaaaaaaan: the-tarot-cafe: She is singing an ancient herding song from mid-north Sweden and Norway. I sense very old vi...

Dicks, Fire, and Memes: TBT - SSG Corey Calkins Ladies and gentlemen, gather round the campfire as we light up your field day celebrations with a celebration of our own. That’s right, it’s time to throw this thing back to February 2010. A simpler time, a time before David Petraeus locked his knees at a senate hearing, and back when you could still tinkle on dead Taliban. omgtakemebackkkk⠀ ⠀ Today we’re talking about every Marine from 6th Reggie’s favorite little town in Afghanistan’s Helmand Province. marjahmarjahmarjah⠀ ⠀ What many of you may not know, however, is that them Gyrenes weren’t the only ones with their dicks in the dirt giving Terry the ol’ whatfor. Case in point, the subject of today’s OAF TBT; Staff Sgt Corey Calkins aka CashMoneyCorey⠀ ⠀ While serving as a weapons sergeant for ODA 3121, Cake Crushin’ Calkins was part of the coalition push through Marjah. On 18 February 2010, he led an assault of ANA troops against a platoon-sized element of Taliban fuckbois at a key intersection near the bazaar in Marjah. While under intense small arms, RPG, and mortar fire, Corey the Cockslapper charged the enemy position like a robust lesbian hopped up on Jack Daniels in a domestic dispute; inspiring his ANA troops to follow and overwhelm the Taliban position. TakeTheirShoes⠀ ⠀ After locking down the intersection and surrounding positions, Corey continued to fuck Terry six ways to Sunday by voluntarily continuing to drive the man-titty-havin’ soyboys out of smalls arms and RPG range so three critically wounded Marines could be evacuated. He aggressively pursued the enemy hotter than the homies in Tekashi 69’s cell block are pursuing his butthole. LemmeTugOnYoDickALilWhile⠀ ⠀ For his actions that day, SSG Calkins was awarded the Distinguished Service Cross and earned himself a lifetime supply of bummed cigs, fat pinches of dip, and near-beers from every Marine in the Ghan. ThereGoesMyHero ⠀ ⠀
Dicks, Fire, and Memes: TBT - SSG Corey Calkins Ladies and gentlemen, gather round the campfire as we light up your field day celebrations with a celebration of our own. That’s right, it’s time to throw this thing back to February 2010. A simpler time, a time before David Petraeus locked his knees at a senate hearing, and back when you could still tinkle on dead Taliban. omgtakemebackkkk⠀ ⠀ Today we’re talking about every Marine from 6th Reggie’s favorite little town in Afghanistan’s Helmand Province. marjahmarjahmarjah⠀ ⠀ What many of you may not know, however, is that them Gyrenes weren’t the only ones with their dicks in the dirt giving Terry the ol’ whatfor. Case in point, the subject of today’s OAF TBT; Staff Sgt Corey Calkins aka CashMoneyCorey⠀ ⠀ While serving as a weapons sergeant for ODA 3121, Cake Crushin’ Calkins was part of the coalition push through Marjah. On 18 February 2010, he led an assault of ANA troops against a platoon-sized element of Taliban fuckbois at a key intersection near the bazaar in Marjah. While under intense small arms, RPG, and mortar fire, Corey the Cockslapper charged the enemy position like a robust lesbian hopped up on Jack Daniels in a domestic dispute; inspiring his ANA troops to follow and overwhelm the Taliban position. TakeTheirShoes⠀ ⠀ After locking down the intersection and surrounding positions, Corey continued to fuck Terry six ways to Sunday by voluntarily continuing to drive the man-titty-havin’ soyboys out of smalls arms and RPG range so three critically wounded Marines could be evacuated. He aggressively pursued the enemy hotter than the homies in Tekashi 69’s cell block are pursuing his butthole. LemmeTugOnYoDickALilWhile⠀ ⠀ For his actions that day, SSG Calkins was awarded the Distinguished Service Cross and earned himself a lifetime supply of bummed cigs, fat pinches of dip, and near-beers from every Marine in the Ghan. ThereGoesMyHero ⠀ ⠀

TBT - SSG Corey Calkins Ladies and gentlemen, gather round the campfire as we light up your field day celebrations with a celebration of our...

Amazon, Anaconda, and CoCo: Hend Amry @LibyaLiberty Follow I will pay more for a chocolate bar if it means less slavery how is this a serious warning. Mike S. Omer-Man@MikeOmerMan Nestle says slavery reporting requirements could cost customers srmi.exiiauafoliiicxi/icxlkir... 12:21 AM-5 Sep 2018 2,117 Retweets 8.247 Likes bet @③ scootsenshi: weeelllp: rsbenedict: kaijutegu: roachpatrol: I WOULD PAY TEN TIMES AS MUCH FOR CHOCOLATE IF IT MEANT REDUCING THE AMOUNT OF SLAVES IN THE WORLD? HOW IS THIS ANY KIND OF PROBLEM.  good news, you can! the company’s called Tony’s Chocolonely and their entire purpose is to make slave-free chocolate and reform the chocolate industry. https://tonyschocolonely.com/us/en https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tony%27s_Chocolonely Whole Foods carries it. If you don’t want to support an Amazon-owned company, World Market carries it. You can also buy it directly from the company.  It’s the best chocolate I’ve ever had and it’s 100% slave free. Tony’s Chocolonely works really hard to push for transparency within the chocolate industry and actually has and is following an action plan to eliminate slavery within cocoa production. They’re good people who make good chocolate. A list of slavery-free chocolate companies: Aldi Aloha Feels Chocolate Alma Chocolate Alter Eco Chocolate Amano Chocolate Askinoise Chocolate The Beach Chocolate Factory Belicious Black Mountain Chocolate Cacaoteca Caribeans Chocolate Castronovo Chocolate Charm School Chocolates Chocolate Cartel Chocolat Celeste Chocolate Tree Chocolate Troubadour Choconat Coco Chocolate Compartes Chocolates Dandelion Chocolate Dark Forest Chocolate Denman Island Chocolate Divine Chocolate Co. Eating Evolved Eat Your Hat El Ceibo The Endangered Species Equal Exchange Fairafric Forever Cocoa Fresco Chocolate Fruition Chocolate Gayleen’s Decadence GEPA Chocolate Giddy Yo Yo Grenada Chocolate Company Grocer’s Daughter Chocolate Guittard Habitual Chocolate Hagensborg Chocolates Health by Chocolate Hilo Shark Chocolate HNINA Gourmet Honest Artisan Chocolate Hooray  Tuffles Ithaca Fine Chocolates L.A. Burdick Chocolates La Iguana Chocolate Lake Champlain Chocolates La Siembra Cooperative Lillie Belle Farms Madecasse Malagasy Maverick Chocolate Company Max Havelaar Mayan Monkey Mayordomo Mia Chocolate Montezuma’s Chocolates Nayah Amazon Chocolates Newman’s Own Organics Purdy’s Chocolate Omanahene Cocoa Bean Company Ombar OpuLux Fair Trade Chocolate Original Hawaiian Chocolate Parliament Chocolate Montevérgine Patric Chocolate Plamil Organic Chocolate Potomac Chocolate Pure Lovin’ Chocolate Rain Republic Rapunzel Pure Organics Ritual Chocolate Samaritan Xocolata Sappho Chocolates Seed Bean Chocolate Shaman Chocolates Sibú Chocolate Solkiki Chocolate Sweet Earth Chocolates Sweet Impact Fudge Sweet Riot Sun Eaters Organics Taza Chocolate Terra Nostra Organic Terroir Chocolate TCHO The Chocolate Wave Theo Chocolate The Original Chocolate Bar (Houston, TX) Tobago Estate Chocolate TONY’S CHOCOLONELY Vivani Chocolate Vosges Wei of Chocolate Xocolatl Chocolate Zotter Crazy how the main three chocolate companies in the US are all terrible Makes sense
Amazon, Anaconda, and CoCo: Hend Amry
 @LibyaLiberty
 Follow
 I will pay more for a chocolate bar if it means
 less slavery how is this a serious warning.
 Mike S. Omer-Man@MikeOmerMan
 Nestle says slavery reporting requirements could cost customers
 srmi.exiiauafoliiicxi/icxlkir...
 12:21 AM-5 Sep 2018
 2,117 Retweets 8.247 Likes
 bet
 @③
scootsenshi:

weeelllp:

rsbenedict:

kaijutegu:

roachpatrol:
I WOULD PAY TEN TIMES AS MUCH FOR CHOCOLATE IF IT MEANT REDUCING THE AMOUNT OF SLAVES IN THE WORLD? HOW IS THIS ANY KIND OF PROBLEM. 
good news, you can! the company’s called Tony’s Chocolonely and their entire purpose is to make slave-free chocolate and reform the chocolate industry.
https://tonyschocolonely.com/us/en
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tony%27s_Chocolonely
Whole Foods carries it. If you don’t want to support an Amazon-owned company, World Market carries it. You can also buy it directly from the company. 
It’s the best chocolate I’ve ever had and it’s 100% slave free. Tony’s Chocolonely works really hard to push for transparency within the chocolate industry and actually has and is following an action plan to eliminate slavery within cocoa production. They’re good people who make good chocolate.

A list of slavery-free chocolate companies:

Aldi

Aloha Feels Chocolate

Alma Chocolate

Alter Eco Chocolate

Amano Chocolate

Askinoise Chocolate

The Beach Chocolate Factory

Belicious

Black Mountain Chocolate

Cacaoteca

Caribeans Chocolate

Castronovo Chocolate

Charm School Chocolates

Chocolate Cartel

Chocolat Celeste

Chocolate Tree

Chocolate Troubadour

Choconat

Coco Chocolate

Compartes Chocolates

Dandelion Chocolate

Dark Forest Chocolate

Denman Island Chocolate

Divine Chocolate Co.

Eating Evolved

Eat Your Hat

El Ceibo

The Endangered Species

Equal Exchange

Fairafric

Forever Cocoa

Fresco Chocolate

Fruition Chocolate

Gayleen’s Decadence

GEPA Chocolate

Giddy Yo Yo

Grenada Chocolate Company

Grocer’s Daughter Chocolate

Guittard

Habitual Chocolate

Hagensborg Chocolates

Health by Chocolate

Hilo Shark Chocolate

HNINA Gourmet

Honest Artisan Chocolate

Hooray  Tuffles
Ithaca Fine Chocolates

L.A. Burdick Chocolates

La Iguana Chocolate

Lake Champlain Chocolates

La Siembra Cooperative

Lillie Belle Farms

Madecasse

Malagasy

Maverick Chocolate Company
Max Havelaar

Mayan Monkey

Mayordomo

Mia Chocolate

Montezuma’s Chocolates

Nayah Amazon Chocolates

Newman’s Own Organics

Purdy’s Chocolate

Omanahene Cocoa Bean Company

Ombar

OpuLux Fair Trade Chocolate

Original Hawaiian Chocolate

Parliament Chocolate

Montevérgine

Patric Chocolate

Plamil Organic Chocolate

Potomac Chocolate

Pure Lovin’ Chocolate

Rain Republic

Rapunzel Pure Organics

Ritual Chocolate

Samaritan Xocolata

Sappho Chocolates

Seed  Bean Chocolate

Shaman Chocolates

Sibú Chocolate

Solkiki Chocolate

Sweet Earth Chocolates

Sweet Impact Fudge

Sweet Riot

Sun Eaters Organics

Taza Chocolate

Terra Nostra Organic

Terroir Chocolate

TCHO

The Chocolate Wave

Theo Chocolate

The Original Chocolate Bar (Houston, TX)

Tobago Estate Chocolate

TONY’S CHOCOLONELY

Vivani Chocolate

Vosges

Wei of Chocolate

Xocolatl Chocolate
Zotter


Crazy how the main three chocolate companies in the US are all terrible 


Makes sense

scootsenshi: weeelllp: rsbenedict: kaijutegu: roachpatrol: I WOULD PAY TEN TIMES AS MUCH FOR CHOCOLATE IF IT MEANT REDUCING THE AMOUNT O...

Alive, Bodies , and Brains: ilthat TIL that due to their small brains koalas are unable to perform complex, unfamiliar tasks such as eat leaves off of flat surfaces. via reddit.com toast-potent how are they even alive kickin-jeans eucalyptus trees are full of flammable oil that causes the trees to explode during forest fires, killing other trees and spreading its seeds to grow in their place koalas survive solely because nothing else in their environment Wants To Eat The Fucking Bombs humandisastersquad WROTE THIS POST#god dont get me fuckin started#the NUMBER of times ive Gone Off abt koalas in zooarch class#on a scale of koalas to wombats how good is ur marsupial at Being Alive#hey hey u know what else? koalas are s0 picky with their diet that theyll only eat the leaves of one (1) type of eucalypt#and even then ONLY specimens of that tree that are within a very tight geographic range of where the koala was born#the rescue centre in my city? they have to ship branches from all over the state bc koalas there physically Will Not Eat anything thats not#from their very very small very precise home range#theyd rather starve to death than try leaves from like the next suburb over#i have 60 other reasons why koalas spit in the face of natural selection hmu if you want YELLING i cant be bothered to list them all here#god theyre so incomprehensibly dumb. god#HEY ALSO the reason their brains are so small is bc YEah the one SINGLE species of tree they eat is incredibly toxic#their diet consists of 1 food and it is Brain-Shrinking Poison (@reyroace) reyroace oh u like that? try this one: the main natural cause of death in koalas is starvation, because 1) their dumbass teeth are SHIT. to be a herbivore and chomp cellulose all day u need some real tough grinders in there, and almost every other herbivore in nature has SOME sort of dental adaptation to make sure they dont run out of tooth by the time they hit middle age. horses have big tall teeth, wombat teeth grow forever, kangaroos have got a little conveyor belt system goin on, etc etc everyone's doin SOMETHING except fuckign koalas. idiots have tiny fuckin shortass normal teeth that do an okay job for maybe like 15 years and then wear down and leave them with ridiculous fuckin useless old man gums that do shit all. but thats fine bc all koalas do anyway is sit in trees and sleep 22hrs a day then wake up and scream and eat poison and they do this all day every day until they run out of teeth at which point they just fall out of the tree and die 2) idiots can't die any other fuckin way bc nothing in nature wants to eat them bc their bodies are chocker block with LITERAL poison. fuckin USELESS their flesh just sits around and slowly rots bc its too gross-tasting and toxic for any animal w half a brain cell to think abt going near it. have yall ever seen koala viscera. bc i have and let me tell u that shit is RANK. looks like the inside of a smoker's lung from some fuckdamn nicabate ad bc the tannins in eucalypt leaves stain their organs like khaki black. like some fuckin darklsteve irwin costume well better piss ur way right off from this one anti-steve bc thats a natural defense mechanism meant to warn u that koalas should in no way be alive and if u touch them theyll drag u into their stupid evolutionary dead-end where they get to sit around all day doin fuck all and pumpin themselves full of brain-killing poison while we run around makin them our olympic games mascots and pretending theyre cute and honest to god looking for ways to save them from the brink of extinction which actually is unnecessary bc a) theyre not really endangered at all, nature is a fuckign miracle and b) the drongos clearly want to die so i say let em reyroace by the way i never elaborated on "koalas sit in trees all day screaming" but heres a lil fuckin. heres a fun nugget heres a lil soundbyte this is what koalas sound like https://www.youtube.com/watch?v-jmeBQVQlsTU https://www.youtube.com/watch?v-O0CAx1jLbJk gallusrostromegalus My favorite story about Koalas comes from the book The Killer Koala Humorous Australian Bush Stories" By Kenneth Cook, which is an excellently good book with some A+ storytelling. he describes the Koala's "Anti-Dingo Defense", wherein they latch on to the belly of the dingo to slow down the rate at which they are being consumed alive by starving canid, gradually trn themselves around until they've got thier head in the Dingo's crotch, and then procede to BITE THE SHIT out of the Dingo's Tender Bits, whilst clowing at the ribs and projectile-evacuating thier bowels, Mr. Cook found out about the Anti-Dingo Defense beause he was tricked into 'rescuing' a bunch of koalas off an island by the promise of a Hot Date with a young lady, wondered why they were all being given armored aprons to handle the koalas with, only to find out firsthand, which pretty much ruined his prospects of a date. teratomarty What I'm getting is that koalas are basically Australian-grade Death Sloths. the more you know
Alive, Bodies , and Brains: ilthat
 TIL that due to their small brains koalas are unable to perform complex,
 unfamiliar tasks such as eat leaves off of flat surfaces.
 via reddit.com
 toast-potent
 how are they even alive
 kickin-jeans
 eucalyptus trees are full of flammable oil that causes the trees to explode during
 forest fires, killing other trees and spreading its seeds to grow in their place
 koalas survive solely because nothing else in their environment Wants To Eat
 The Fucking Bombs
 humandisastersquad
 WROTE THIS POST#god dont get me fuckin started#the NUMBER of times
 ive Gone Off abt koalas in zooarch class#on a scale of koalas to wombats how
 good is ur marsupial at Being Alive#hey hey u know what else? koalas are s0
 picky with their diet that theyll only eat the leaves of one (1) type of eucalypt#and
 even then ONLY specimens of that tree that are within a very tight geographic
 range of where the koala was born#the rescue centre in my city? they have to
 ship branches from all over the state bc koalas there physically Will Not Eat
 anything thats not#from their very very small very precise home range#theyd
 rather starve to death than try leaves from like the next suburb over#i have 60
 other reasons why koalas spit in the face of natural selection hmu if you want
 YELLING i cant be bothered to list them all here#god theyre so
 incomprehensibly dumb. god#HEY ALSO the reason their brains are so small is
 bc YEah the one SINGLE species of tree they eat is incredibly toxic#their diet
 consists of 1 food and it is Brain-Shrinking Poison (@reyroace)
 reyroace
 oh u like that? try this one: the main natural cause of death in koalas is
 starvation, because
 1) their dumbass teeth are SHIT. to be a herbivore and chomp cellulose all day u
 need some real tough grinders in there, and almost every other herbivore in
 nature has SOME sort of dental adaptation to make sure they dont run out of
 tooth by the time they hit middle age. horses have big tall teeth, wombat teeth
 grow forever, kangaroos have got a little conveyor belt system goin on, etc etc
 everyone's doin SOMETHING except fuckign koalas. idiots have tiny fuckin
 shortass normal teeth that do an okay job for maybe like 15 years and then wear
 down and leave them with ridiculous fuckin useless old man gums that do shit
 all. but thats fine bc all koalas do anyway is sit in trees and sleep 22hrs a day
 then wake up and scream and eat poison and they do this all day every day until
 they run out of teeth at which point they just fall out of the tree and die
 2) idiots can't die any other fuckin way bc nothing in nature wants to eat them bc
 their bodies are chocker block with LITERAL poison. fuckin USELESS their flesh
 just sits around and slowly rots bc its too gross-tasting and toxic for any animal
 w half a brain cell to think abt going near it. have yall ever seen koala viscera. bc
 i have and let me tell u that shit is RANK. looks like the inside of a smoker's lung
 from some fuckdamn nicabate ad bc the tannins in eucalypt leaves stain their
 organs like khaki black. like some fuckin darklsteve irwin costume well better
 piss ur way right off from this one anti-steve bc thats a natural defense
 mechanism meant to warn u that koalas should in no way be alive and if u touch
 them theyll drag u into their stupid evolutionary dead-end where they get to sit
 around all day doin fuck all and pumpin themselves full of brain-killing poison
 while we run around makin them our olympic games mascots and pretending
 theyre cute and honest to god looking for ways to save them from the brink of
 extinction which actually is unnecessary bc a) theyre not really endangered at
 all, nature is a fuckign miracle and b) the drongos clearly want to die so i say let
 em
 reyroace
 by the way i never elaborated on "koalas sit in trees all day screaming" but heres
 a lil fuckin. heres a fun nugget heres a lil soundbyte this is what koalas sound
 like
 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v-jmeBQVQlsTU
 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v-O0CAx1jLbJk
 gallusrostromegalus
 My favorite story about Koalas comes from the book The Killer Koala
 Humorous Australian Bush Stories" By Kenneth Cook, which is an excellently
 good book with some A+ storytelling. he describes the Koala's "Anti-Dingo
 Defense", wherein they latch on to the belly of the dingo to slow down the rate at
 which they are being consumed alive by starving canid, gradually trn themselves
 around until they've got thier head in the Dingo's crotch, and then procede to
 BITE THE SHIT out of the Dingo's Tender Bits, whilst clowing at the ribs and
 projectile-evacuating thier bowels,
 Mr. Cook found out about the Anti-Dingo Defense beause he was tricked
 into 'rescuing' a bunch of koalas off an island by the promise of a Hot Date with
 a young lady, wondered why they were all being given armored aprons to handle
 the koalas with, only to find out firsthand, which pretty much ruined his prospects
 of a date.
 teratomarty
 What I'm getting is that koalas are basically Australian-grade Death Sloths.
the more you know

the more you know

Bad, Bad Boys, and Christmas: lorcalhost/ ChristmasSpiritBreaker-andNewYears Too OUnwatch3 Star 70 Fork 3 > Code ①Issues 2 n Pull requests o 뻔Projects 0 EE}Wiki lliinsights *Settings Python script which automatically sends Christmas/New Year's messages from a custom messages list on Whatsapp, Facebook Messenger or via SMS in a given time range, to a custom contacts list. Time to work smart, not hard Manage topics Edit ⓡ 32 commits 1 branch 1 release 1 contributor GPL-3.0 Branch: master ▼ New pull request Create new fileUpload filesFind file Clone or download Latest commit e3732de 9 days ago 20 days ago 9 days ago 15 days ago 16 days ago 16 days ago 16 days ago 16 days ago lorcalhost Added video guide LICENSE E README.md Initial commit Added video guide Fixed sys.argv[1] out of range error Text enhancement Fixed few mistakes here and there, ready for v1.0 release Fixed few mistakes here and there, ready for v1.0 release Fixed few mistakes here and there, ready for v1.0 release christmasSpiritBreaker.py 目config.py 自messengerCSB.py smsCSB.py [-] whatsappCSB.ру 目目README.md Christmas Spirit Breaker (and New Years Too) "Are you tired of having to manually write and send christmas texts to everyone on christmas to mantain a good relationship with them? Do you want to be the annoying person who is the first one to send "Happy new year" messages to everyone on your contact list exactly at midnight? Do you want to be a bad boy this christmas season? I got you covered." Strongly inspired by my other project RomanceBreaker, introducing Christmas Spirit Breaker, a python script which automatically sends a custom christmas/new year's greeting message, from a custom messages list, to your selected contacts you want to mantain good relationships with, at given time range on Facebook Messenger, WhatsApp or via SMS. Time to be bad boys this christmas. Work smarter, not Harder What you will gain: e More time spent with the new body pillow you just received for christmas e More time spent stealing new year's champagne from people who are busy texting their friends Mantain those relationships with friends (if you don't send greetings on such events they will know you are not a true friend) Magic [NEW] YOU CAN FIND THE VIDEO INSTALLATION GUIDE HERE Facebook Messenger: This New Years steal more of that champagne while your friends are texting, be a real programmer.
Bad, Bad Boys, and Christmas: lorcalhost/ ChristmasSpiritBreaker-andNewYears Too
 OUnwatch3
 Star 70
 Fork 3
 > Code
 ①Issues 2
 n Pull requests o
 뻔Projects 0
 EE}Wiki
 lliinsights
 *Settings
 Python script which automatically sends Christmas/New Year's messages from a custom messages list on Whatsapp, Facebook
 Messenger or via SMS in a given time range, to a custom contacts list. Time to work smart, not hard
 Manage topics
 Edit
 ⓡ 32 commits
 1 branch
 1 release
 1 contributor
 GPL-3.0
 Branch: master ▼
 New pull request
 Create new fileUpload filesFind file
 Clone or download
 Latest commit e3732de 9 days ago
 20 days ago
 9 days ago
 15 days ago
 16 days ago
 16 days ago
 16 days ago
 16 days ago
 lorcalhost Added video guide
 LICENSE
 E README.md
 Initial commit
 Added video guide
 Fixed sys.argv[1] out of range error
 Text enhancement
 Fixed few mistakes here and there, ready for v1.0 release
 Fixed few mistakes here and there, ready for v1.0 release
 Fixed few mistakes here and there, ready for v1.0 release
 christmasSpiritBreaker.py
 目config.py
 自messengerCSB.py
 smsCSB.py
 [-] whatsappCSB.ру
 目目README.md
 Christmas Spirit Breaker (and New Years Too)
 "Are you tired of having to manually write and send christmas texts to everyone on christmas to mantain a good relationship with them? Do
 you want to be the annoying person who is the first one to send "Happy new year" messages to everyone on your contact list exactly at
 midnight? Do you want to be a bad boy this christmas season? I got you covered."
 Strongly inspired by my other project RomanceBreaker, introducing Christmas Spirit Breaker, a python script which
 automatically sends a custom christmas/new year's greeting message, from a custom messages list, to your selected contacts
 you want to mantain good relationships with, at given time range on Facebook Messenger, WhatsApp or via SMS. Time to be
 bad boys this christmas. Work smarter, not Harder
 What you will gain:
 e More time spent with the new body pillow you just received for christmas
 e More time spent stealing new year's champagne from people who are busy texting their friends
 Mantain those relationships with friends (if you don't send greetings on such events they will know you are not a true
 friend)
 Magic
 [NEW] YOU CAN FIND THE VIDEO INSTALLATION GUIDE HERE
 Facebook Messenger:
This New Years steal more of that champagne while your friends are texting, be a real programmer.

This New Years steal more of that champagne while your friends are texting, be a real programmer.

God, Stalking, and Star Trek: They EAT. They TALK. AND THEY FUCK It's a human, and if you're not scared, you should be. Humans seem friendly. What you might not know is just how "friendly" a human can be. Many galactic citizens have discovered, only too late, the relentless drive of the human... who will gladly mate with YOU. "This is overstated. I've interacted with several humans who have not attempted to mate with me." Be mindful! A human is a stalking predator, and may wait weeks, even months, for an opportunity .11 would not be attractive to a human and have nothing to fear." Humans have highly variable preferences and strategies. However, do recall that by the time humans experienced First Contact, they had already spent centuries producing entire libraries of speculative research about how they would someday attempt to mate with someone just like you. "I possess a simple cloaca and am incompatible with a human and their sexual practices." Humans are adaptable. There are proven instances of humans attempting mating behaviors on features far more novel than a mere cloaca or book lung. Humans have been known to engage in attempted intercourse with flaps, orificies, depressions, ridges, digits, chelicerae, and masses of all kinds. A human, bereft of a partner, may attempt to mate with a range of vessels, extensions, surfaces--or its own hands. "I have heard mating with a human can be pleasurable. What's the harm?" Humans form strong attachments and are insatiable. Galactic citizens who have partnered with a human have routinely died of dessication, puncture, and lethal chafing! ouyangdan: kaelio: kaelio: Someone requested a doodle of “some of the Dominion’s anti-human propaganda” but tbh this is too real outside of star trek. this is probably plastered over the entire Citadel in Mass Effect i still get notifications for this. i get notifications for this every god damned day. I wasn’t going to reblog this until the last comment.
God, Stalking, and Star Trek: They EAT. They TALK.
 AND THEY FUCK
 It's a human, and if you're
 not scared, you should be.
 Humans seem friendly. What you
 might not know is just how "friendly"
 a human can be.
 Many galactic citizens have
 discovered, only too late, the
 relentless drive of the human...
 who will gladly mate with YOU.

 "This is overstated. I've interacted with several humans
 who have not attempted to mate with me."
 Be mindful! A human is a stalking predator, and may
 wait weeks, even months, for an opportunity
 .11 would not be attractive to a human and have
 nothing to fear."
 Humans have highly variable preferences and strategies.
 However, do recall that by the time humans experienced
 First Contact, they had already spent centuries producing
 entire libraries of speculative research about how they would
 someday attempt to mate with someone just like you.
 "I possess a simple cloaca and am incompatible with
 a human and their sexual practices."
 Humans are adaptable. There are proven instances of
 humans attempting mating behaviors on features far
 more novel than a mere cloaca or book lung. Humans
 have been known to engage in attempted intercourse with
 flaps, orificies, depressions, ridges, digits, chelicerae,
 and masses of all kinds.
 A human, bereft of a partner, may attempt to mate with a
 range of vessels, extensions, surfaces--or its own hands.
 "I have heard mating with a human can be pleasurable.
 What's the harm?"
 Humans form strong attachments and are insatiable.
 Galactic citizens who have partnered with a human have
 routinely died of dessication, puncture, and lethal chafing!
ouyangdan:

kaelio:

kaelio:
Someone requested a doodle of “some of the Dominion’s anti-human propaganda” but tbh this is too real outside of star trek. this is probably plastered over the entire Citadel in Mass Effect
i still get notifications for this. i get notifications for this every god damned day.

I wasn’t going to reblog this until the last comment.

ouyangdan: kaelio: kaelio: Someone requested a doodle of “some of the Dominion’s anti-human propaganda” but tbh this is too real outside o...