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ravenous: starkswhee: queercyberoceancowgirl: tulparightsactivist: cheshireinthemiddle: joekewlio: systlin: jabberwockypie: kayrowhitesyrup: black-girl-against-feminism: keyhollow: surprisebitch: pancakes are made of eggs omfg Y’all are crazy if you think a chicken won’t happily eat eggs. Y’all insane if you think a chicken won’t tear some nuggets UP. You are ON CRACK if you think a chicken won’t just, eat another injured chicken Me and some friends were collecting eggs on this farm. We dropped one of them and they went absolutely apeshit over that damn egg. Not even the shell was left. I know people think chickens are herbivores but they absolutely aren’t. Chickens are omnivores. They eat meat, they eat eat all sorts of fruits and vegetables. This isn’t really well known to people who live off of farms or who have never spent time on one. It’s also thanks to tv and movies not showing this side of chickens. It’s why eggs and chicken meat saying they come from “free-range vegetarian chickens” are HILARIOUS, because if they’re free-range, you can’t control that, and the tiny dinosaurs ARE going to eat a lot of things. And if a mouse meets an early demise because it came near the tiny dinosaurs … ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ As a kid I once threw the neighbor’s chickens a chicken nugget just to see what would happen. Answer; they fuckin demolished it. Tore it apart and wolfed it down in seconds.  Rose tinted chicken glasses used to be a very common invention for chickens, because if they saw a speck of blood on another chicken they would gang up on it and murder it to death and feast on it. Actual piranhas don’t act like Hollywood piranhas. Chickens, however, do act like Hollywood piranhas. Those fuckers get a taste for blood and they become fucking ravenous fiends. They’re still very much dinosaur. Pancakes are looking a little tame, huh?
ravenous: starkswhee:
queercyberoceancowgirl:

tulparightsactivist:

cheshireinthemiddle:


joekewlio:


systlin:

jabberwockypie:

kayrowhitesyrup:

black-girl-against-feminism:


keyhollow:

surprisebitch:

pancakes are made of eggs omfg




Y’all are crazy if you think a chicken won’t happily eat eggs. Y’all insane if you think a chicken won’t tear some nuggets UP. You are ON CRACK if you think a chicken won’t just, eat another injured chicken

Me and some friends were collecting eggs on this farm. We dropped one of them and they went absolutely apeshit over that damn egg. Not even the shell was left. 


I know people think chickens are herbivores but they absolutely aren’t.
Chickens are omnivores. They eat meat, they eat eat all sorts of fruits and vegetables.
This isn’t really well known to people who live off of farms or who have never spent time on one. It’s also thanks to tv and movies not showing this side of chickens.

It’s why eggs and chicken meat saying they come from “free-range vegetarian chickens” are HILARIOUS, because if they’re free-range, you can’t control that, and the tiny dinosaurs ARE going to eat a lot of things. And if a mouse meets an early demise because it came near the tiny dinosaurs … 
¯\_(ツ)_/¯



As a kid I once threw the neighbor’s chickens a chicken nugget just to see what would happen.
Answer; they fuckin demolished it. Tore it apart and wolfed it down in seconds. 


Rose tinted chicken glasses used to be a very common invention for chickens, because if they saw a speck of blood on another chicken they would gang up on it and murder it to death and feast on it.
Actual piranhas don’t act like Hollywood piranhas.
Chickens, however, do act like Hollywood piranhas. Those fuckers get a taste for blood and they become fucking ravenous fiends. They’re still very much dinosaur. 


Pancakes are looking a little tame, huh?

starkswhee: queercyberoceancowgirl: tulparightsactivist: cheshireinthemiddle: joekewlio: systlin: jabberwockypie: kayrowhitesyrup...

ravenous: A RAVENOUS BEAST! (he had a watermelon snack)
ravenous: A RAVENOUS BEAST! (he had a watermelon snack)

A RAVENOUS BEAST! (he had a watermelon snack)

ravenous: I am ravenous I say
ravenous: I am ravenous I say

I am ravenous I say

ravenous: Xxxternls Vs innternls Vs my ravenous appetite for cat food
ravenous: Xxxternls Vs innternls Vs my ravenous appetite for cat food

Xxxternls Vs innternls Vs my ravenous appetite for cat food

ravenous: My hunger is ravenous
ravenous: My hunger is ravenous

My hunger is ravenous

ravenous: PARDON ME, GOOD CITIZENS. PERHAPS I MAY BE OF ASSISTANCE. GOODNESS GRACIOUS! YOU POOR CHILDREN! THAT THING COULD'VE BITTEN OFF YOUR EARS! THAT'S CERTAINLY NOT HOW I REMEMBER IT! UH, YEAH... THAT COULD BE A PROBLEM. SO, WHO HAS MONEY? SHORTLY, IN SAID PEACEFUL VILLAGE... I AM SOKKA, TAMER OF WILD BEASTS AND ALL FEROCIOUS CREATURES THAT THREATEN PEACEFUL VILLAGES! MONSTER SLIVER ARE THEY DANGEROUS? WILL IT ATTACK OUR PEACEFUL VILLAGE? HELP! HELP! IN THE FOREST! SKY BISON? AREN'T THEY EXTINCT? DIDN'T A SKY BISON ABDUUCT YOUR GRANDMOTHER? קIP HEAR? A SKY BISON ABDUCTED MING-MING'S GRANDMOTHER! IT'S A M-M-MONSTER! BUT... I'M RIGHT HERE. WHOOPS, IT'S PROBABLY JUST APPA...I'D BETTER CLEAR THINGS-- I'M SORRY TO HEAR ABOUT YOUR GRANDMA, MING-MING... FINE. STREET-CORNER SINGING IT IS, THEN! I'LL PROBABLY BRING IN MORE MONEY THAT WAY ANYHOW... YOU GUYS! WE SAID NO MORE SCAMMING, REMEMBER? I DON'T WANT TO BE CHASED OUT OF ANOTHER VILLAGE! QUIET, AANG! DON'T YOU HEAR THAT? IT'S OPPORTUNITY KNOCKING... WELL, I HAVE A COUPLE OF SURE-FIRE MONEY- MAKING IDEAS... UMMF! I LIKE THE WAY YOU THINK, TOPH. WHAT'LL IT BE FIRST? THE OL' "SHELL GANME"? "THREE- TILE MONTY"? UM... SOKKA? DON'T YOU REMEMBER WHAT HAPPENED THE LAST TIME YOU TRIED TO SING FOR OUR SUPPER? ESOBE I READ SOMEWHERE THAT THEY EAT KITTENS FOR BREAKFAST! FEAR NOT. I WILL PROTECT YOUR PEACEFUL VILLAGE FROM THE RAVENOUS CREATURE LURKING IN THE FOREST... OH, MIGHTY WARRIOR-TYPE STRANGER, PLEASE SLAY THE SKY BISON AND BRING MY GRANDMOTHER BACK ALIVE! HOO-BOY! HERE WE GO! ENOUGH ALREADY, SOKKA! WHAT ARE YOU UP TO? HEY! I'M OVER HERE! WATCH AND LEARN, BELOVED SISTER. WATCH AND LEARN. BUT I DON'T THINKI LIKE WHERE THIS IS GOING... THEN SOMETHING HUGE AND FURRY MOVED BEKIND THE BUSHES! THERE WAS THIS LOUD, SCARY ROAR! HEH, HEH. ...FOR MY LOVE IS LIKE...A BOOMERAAANG! ...FOR A PRICE! FWAY SPAT GUNG OH, MY STARS! THAT SOUNDS LIKE A FEROCIOUS... SKY BISON! 155 157 Sokka is so hilarious!
ravenous: PARDON ME, GOOD
 CITIZENS. PERHAPS I MAY
 BE OF ASSISTANCE.
 GOODNESS
 GRACIOUS! YOU
 POOR CHILDREN!
 THAT THING COULD'VE
 BITTEN OFF YOUR
 EARS!
 THAT'S CERTAINLY
 NOT HOW I
 REMEMBER IT!
 UH, YEAH... THAT
 COULD BE A
 PROBLEM.
 SO, WHO HAS
 MONEY?
 SHORTLY, IN SAID
 PEACEFUL VILLAGE...
 I AM SOKKA,
 TAMER
 OF WILD BEASTS
 AND ALL FEROCIOUS
 CREATURES THAT
 THREATEN PEACEFUL
 VILLAGES!
 MONSTER SLIVER
 ARE THEY
 DANGEROUS?
 WILL IT ATTACK
 OUR PEACEFUL
 VILLAGE?
 HELP!
 HELP! IN THE
 FOREST!
 SKY BISON?
 AREN'T THEY
 EXTINCT?
 DIDN'T A SKY
 BISON ABDUUCT YOUR
 GRANDMOTHER?
 קIP
 HEAR? A SKY BISON
 ABDUCTED MING-MING'S
 GRANDMOTHER!
 IT'S A
 M-M-MONSTER!
 BUT...
 I'M RIGHT
 HERE.
 WHOOPS, IT'S PROBABLY
 JUST APPA...I'D BETTER
 CLEAR THINGS--
 I'M SORRY
 TO HEAR ABOUT
 YOUR GRANDMA,
 MING-MING...
 FINE. STREET-CORNER
 SINGING IT IS, THEN! I'LL
 PROBABLY BRING IN
 MORE MONEY THAT
 WAY ANYHOW...
 YOU GUYS! WE SAID
 NO MORE SCAMMING,
 REMEMBER? I DON'T
 WANT TO BE CHASED
 OUT OF ANOTHER
 VILLAGE!
 QUIET,
 AANG! DON'T YOU
 HEAR THAT? IT'S
 OPPORTUNITY
 KNOCKING...
 WELL, I HAVE A COUPLE
 OF SURE-FIRE MONEY-
 MAKING IDEAS...
 UMMF!
 I LIKE THE WAY YOU
 THINK, TOPH. WHAT'LL
 IT BE FIRST? THE OL'
 "SHELL GANME"? "THREE-
 TILE MONTY"?
 UM... SOKKA?
 DON'T YOU REMEMBER
 WHAT HAPPENED THE
 LAST TIME YOU TRIED
 TO SING FOR OUR
 SUPPER?
 ESOBE
 I READ
 SOMEWHERE THAT
 THEY EAT KITTENS
 FOR BREAKFAST!
 FEAR NOT. I WILL PROTECT YOUR
 PEACEFUL VILLAGE FROM THE
 RAVENOUS CREATURE LURKING
 IN THE FOREST...
 OH, MIGHTY
 WARRIOR-TYPE
 STRANGER, PLEASE
 SLAY THE SKY
 BISON AND BRING MY
 GRANDMOTHER
 BACK ALIVE!
 HOO-BOY!
 HERE WE GO!
 ENOUGH
 ALREADY, SOKKA!
 WHAT ARE YOU
 UP TO?
 HEY!
 I'M OVER
 HERE!
 WATCH AND
 LEARN, BELOVED
 SISTER. WATCH
 AND LEARN.
 BUT I
 DON'T THINKI
 LIKE WHERE
 THIS IS
 GOING...
 THEN SOMETHING HUGE
 AND FURRY MOVED BEKIND
 THE BUSHES!
 THERE WAS THIS LOUD,
 SCARY ROAR!
 HEH,
 HEH.
 ...FOR MY
 LOVE IS LIKE...A
 BOOMERAAANG!
 ...FOR A
 PRICE!
 FWAY
 SPAT
 GUNG
 OH, MY
 STARS! THAT
 SOUNDS LIKE
 A FEROCIOUS...
 SKY BISON!
 155
 157
Sokka is so hilarious!

Sokka is so hilarious!

ravenous: Ravenous chaotic lifeforms MEKHANE [CONTEST] Yaldy may have created flesh, but Mekhane gave us the characteristics that we pride on
ravenous: Ravenous chaotic
 lifeforms
 MEKHANE
[CONTEST] Yaldy may have created flesh, but Mekhane gave us the characteristics that we pride on

[CONTEST] Yaldy may have created flesh, but Mekhane gave us the characteristics that we pride on

ravenous: Psychomed ***** Not just a piece of wire, a personal statement. Reviewed in the United Kingdom on 30 April 2018 Colour: Black Verified Purchase Not just a piece of wire, a personal statement. As dedicated followers of my Amazon reviews will be aware, I am a) tight and b) can't throw anything away, particularly if it has wires. So, naturally, when my 7 year old's headphones packed up, I saw this as an opportunity to broaden his education and challenge his perception of the world as a place of transient consumerism. "Anything can be fixed" is my motto. "Let's just chuck them and buy a new pair, they only cost £15, 2 years ago", said my wife. Well, personally I'm not going to chuck £15 in the bin. I wouldn't chuck 15 p in the bin. And why add to the mountain of plastic clogging up the oceans and throttling pandas? We have to think about our children, and our children's children. And our children's children's children. But not our children's children's children's children. For goodness' sake, it's time they took some responsibility for themselves and stopped relying on their great great great great grandparents. Anyway, by then they'll all be flying around with solar powered jet packs wearing futuristic lycra jump suits. Or possibly wandering round a post apocalyptic wilderness trying to dodge the packs of ravenous crazed polar bears. Either way, I shouldn't think they'll give a toss about a pair of broken headphones. And why do they break anyway? It's the wire, always the wire. They're put together with stuff with the width of a spiders back leg. I don't know how they get a single electron along it , never mind a whole song. Makes me long for the days when the old radiogram was connected up with a length of woven flex you could use to lasso a young steer and bring it to the ground. Getting in was comparatively easy. The main battle is psychological. You have to believe that something can be taken apart and fixed, when all around you, including the manufacturers, are telling you it's impossible. Somewhere, under the layers of plastic, there will be a screw, then it's a simple matter of undoing it and watching as hundreds of tiny components slip through your fingers and roll under the sofa. Two practical matters. Firstly, you probably don't need the microphone on the lead for a set of headphones, although I suppose you might if it were for a telephone. If not, you only need the 3 pole jack, not 4 pole. Secondly, unless you are uncommonly dexterous in the digital department, don't try and solder up a tiny jack plug; buy one like this ready made. Even for this you need three things:- patience, a steady hand, sharp eyesight, and a powerful but small soldering iron. I have none of these personal attributes, and I got my soldering iron from a man who used to patch up holes in the hull of the Ark Royal. The only thing I have is my resolve not to throw anything away, regardless of personal cost and marital breakdown. Success was mine, eventually, and I had again a fully functioning pair of child's headphones. Triumphantly, I rose from the kitchen table, to a cold, still, silent house. In the distance, an owl hooted, not something you often hear in Bermondsey. ^ Read less Spent hours looking for some earphone cable replacements. Found this instead...
ravenous: Psychomed
 ***** Not just a piece of wire, a personal statement.
 Reviewed in the United Kingdom on 30 April 2018
 Colour: Black
 Verified Purchase
 Not just a piece of wire, a personal statement.
 As dedicated followers of my Amazon reviews will be aware, I am a) tight and b) can't throw
 anything away, particularly if it has wires. So, naturally, when my 7 year old's headphones packed
 up, I saw this as an opportunity to broaden his education and challenge his perception of the world
 as a place of transient consumerism. "Anything can be fixed" is my motto. "Let's just chuck them
 and buy a new pair, they only cost £15, 2 years ago", said my wife. Well, personally I'm not going to
 chuck £15 in the bin. I wouldn't chuck 15 p in the bin. And why add to the mountain of plastic
 clogging up the oceans and throttling pandas? We have to think about our children, and our
 children's children. And our children's children's children. But not our children's children's children's
 children. For goodness' sake, it's time they took some responsibility for themselves and stopped
 relying on their great great great great grandparents. Anyway, by then they'll all be flying around
 with solar powered jet packs wearing futuristic lycra jump suits. Or possibly wandering round a
 post apocalyptic wilderness trying to dodge the packs of ravenous crazed polar bears. Either way, I
 shouldn't think they'll give a toss about a pair of broken headphones.
 And why do they break anyway? It's the wire, always the wire. They're put together with stuff with
 the width of a spiders back leg.
 I don't know how they get a single electron along it , never mind a whole song. Makes me long for
 the days when the old radiogram was connected up with a length of woven flex you could use to
 lasso a young steer and bring it to the ground.
 Getting in was comparatively easy. The main battle is psychological. You have to believe that
 something can be taken apart and fixed, when all around you, including the manufacturers, are
 telling you it's impossible. Somewhere, under the layers of plastic, there will be a screw, then it's a
 simple matter of undoing it and watching as hundreds of tiny components slip through your
 fingers and roll under the sofa.
 Two practical matters. Firstly, you probably don't need the microphone on the lead for a set of
 headphones, although I suppose you might if it were for a telephone. If not, you only need the 3
 pole jack, not 4 pole. Secondly, unless you are uncommonly dexterous in the digital department,
 don't try and solder up a tiny jack plug; buy one like this ready made.
 Even for this you need three things:- patience, a steady hand, sharp eyesight, and a powerful but
 small soldering iron. I have none of these personal attributes, and I got my soldering iron from a
 man who used to patch up holes in the hull of the Ark Royal.
 The only thing I have is my resolve not to throw anything away, regardless of personal cost and
 marital breakdown.
 Success was mine, eventually, and I had again a fully functioning pair of child's headphones.
 Triumphantly, I rose from the kitchen table, to a cold, still, silent house. In the distance, an owl
 hooted, not something you often hear in Bermondsey.
 ^ Read less
Spent hours looking for some earphone cable replacements. Found this instead...

Spent hours looking for some earphone cable replacements. Found this instead...

ravenous: + Q Search Tumblr bobacupcake we are already living in the cyberpunk future and i know this because within a span of 3 days we went from this tweet: Rob Schamberger @robschamberger PLEASE RT: Never, ever, EVER respond to someone's art on Twitter saying you want a shirt with that art. Bot accounts will cue into that and then pirate the artwork. This then becomes a nightmare for the artist to get the bootleg merchandise taken down. PLEASE SHARE. to thousands of people making phony images and replying to them with their passionate desire to have them as a tshirt to overload the bots with nonsense and junk and send out warnings to shoppers like this: Nana This site sells Stolen Artwork T Shirt @Hannahdouken hey can y'all do me a favor and quote tweet/reply to this with something along the lines of 'I want this on a shirt', thank you Ths ste salk STOLEN Artuek, de NOT buy frem themly This site sels STOLEN Artuork, do NOT buy from them!'v 1 of 2 28 sold, available until Dec 4! O DAYS 2 HOURS 35 MN 39 SEC Add to cart and now we even have people replying to pictures of baby yoda with "i want this on a tshirt" knowing how ravenous disney is being with copyright in hopes to get the stores taken down altogether i dont know what it is about stuff like this and the whole turn mei into a symbol of hk protesters thing but, its really reassuring for some reason pinkieperil And the next step. Replying to TrueAmdor adanhett and 2 dan hett ddanhett 13h please enjoyDinobot Iwit gaming scummy twitter.com/Disney/status/. Everyone like him anyways so ... :P 12:30 PM 29 Nov 19 Sprinkir artwork thieves 335 Reteeets 1,938 Likes Disney Disney 5d "I am the terrar that flaps in the night. I am the ingrown toenail on the foot of crime. Iam Darkwing Duck!" -Darkwing Duck, Darkwing STOLEN Arduek de NOT by toucan QW Amdor TrueAmdor - 12h Replying to Disney I want this on a shirt Duck ta 5.190 O 143K Jack Deeth jackDeeth 12h Replying to Disney I want this on a shirt AmdorTrueAmdor 12h I wonder can we start doing this on like Disney copyrighted art they post on their channel so they actually sue them xD monicasm eMonicasmGaming 11h Sylpha @sylpha_ ·8h Replying to @TrueAmdor @danhett and 2 others АНАНАНАНАНА Darkwing Duck tee moteefe.com 27 4 56 Carmen @overwateredsucC· 2h The devil works hard but disney works harder Well, this is embarrassing... It looks like this page has gone shopping. systlin https://teezyli.com/ Holy shit y'all look at the front page of the site right now cathrine-rose Oh my god systlin Anyway, I just emailed tips@disneyantipiracy.com to report the site for very evilly stealing Disney's IP! Because obviously that is very evil and bad and shit. anthropohedron I've never seen such a perfect example of fighting fire with fire. systlin Holy fucking shit ing words were that you to see mickey asscheeks being Chis website, which artwork from tists using ated bots. this is not a paree pwease sue us daddy disney scifigrl47 I'm DYING. ejacutastic xXNeopetsFan69Xx @Lovelitchi Artists using disney imagery to get art stealing t-shirt sites taken down Never thought lI'd die fighting side by side with an captialist mega corp disney What about side by side with a friend? fuck you Source: bobacupcake 236,482 notes Disneypunk
ravenous: + Q Search Tumblr
 bobacupcake
 we are already living in the cyberpunk future and i know this because within a
 span of 3 days we went from this tweet:
 Rob Schamberger
 @robschamberger
 PLEASE RT: Never, ever, EVER respond to someone's art
 on Twitter saying you want a shirt with that art. Bot
 accounts will cue into that and then pirate the artwork.
 This then becomes a nightmare for the artist to get the
 bootleg merchandise taken down. PLEASE SHARE.
 to thousands of people making phony images and replying to them with their
 passionate desire to have them as a tshirt to overload the bots with nonsense
 and junk and send out warnings to shoppers like this:
 Nana
 This site sells Stolen Artwork T Shirt
 @Hannahdouken
 hey can y'all do me a favor and quote tweet/reply to
 this with something along the lines of 'I want this on a
 shirt', thank you
 Ths ste salk
 STOLEN Artuek,
 de NOT buy
 frem themly
 This site sels
 STOLEN Artuork,
 do NOT buy
 from them!'v
 1 of 2
 28 sold, available until Dec 4!
 O DAYS
 2 HOURS
 35 MN
 39 SEC
 Add to cart
 and now we even have people replying to pictures of baby yoda with "i want
 this on a tshirt" knowing how ravenous disney is being with copyright in hopes
 to get the stores taken down altogether
 i dont know what it is about stuff like this and the whole turn mei into a symbol
 of hk protesters thing but, its really reassuring for some reason
 pinkieperil
 And the next step.
 Replying to TrueAmdor adanhett and 2
 dan hett ddanhett 13h
 please enjoyDinobot Iwit gaming scummy
 twitter.com/Disney/status/.
 Everyone like him anyways so ... :P
 12:30 PM 29 Nov 19 Sprinkir
 artwork thieves
 335 Reteeets 1,938 Likes
 Disney Disney 5d
 "I am the terrar that flaps in the night. I am the
 ingrown toenail on the foot of crime. Iam
 Darkwing Duck!" -Darkwing Duck, Darkwing
 STOLEN Arduek
 de NOT by
 toucan QW
 Amdor TrueAmdor - 12h
 Replying to Disney
 I want this on a shirt
 Duck
 ta 5.190 O 143K
 Jack Deeth jackDeeth 12h
 Replying to Disney
 I want this on a shirt
 AmdorTrueAmdor 12h
 I wonder can we start doing this on like
 Disney copyrighted art they post on their
 channel so they actually sue them xD
 monicasm eMonicasmGaming 11h
 Sylpha @sylpha_ ·8h
 Replying to @TrueAmdor @danhett and 2
 others
 АНАНАНАНАНА
 Darkwing Duck tee
 moteefe.com
 27 4
 56
 Carmen @overwateredsucC· 2h
 The devil works hard but disney works
 harder
 Well, this is
 embarrassing...
 It looks like this page
 has gone shopping.
 systlin
 https://teezyli.com/
 Holy shit y'all look at the front page of the site right now
 cathrine-rose
 Oh my god
 systlin
 Anyway, I just emailed tips@disneyantipiracy.com to report the site for very
 evilly stealing Disney's IP! Because obviously that is very evil and bad and shit.
 anthropohedron
 I've never seen such a perfect example of fighting fire with fire.
 systlin
 Holy fucking shit
 ing words were that
 you to see mickey
 asscheeks being
 Chis website, which
 artwork from
 tists using
 ated bots.
 this is not a paree
 pwease sue us daddy disney
 scifigrl47
 I'm DYING.
 ejacutastic
 xXNeopetsFan69Xx
 @Lovelitchi
 Artists using disney imagery to get art
 stealing t-shirt sites taken down
 Never thought lI'd die fighting
 side by side with an
 captialist mega corp
 disney
 What about side by side with a friend?
 fuck you
 Source: bobacupcake
 236,482 notes
Disneypunk

Disneypunk

ravenous: Ravenous, 1999 - With it's theme of resurrection thru consuming blood and flesh, the cannibal, Colqhoun takes on Christ-like imagery throughout the film
ravenous: Ravenous, 1999 - With it's theme of resurrection thru consuming blood and flesh, the cannibal, Colqhoun takes on Christ-like imagery throughout the film

Ravenous, 1999 - With it's theme of resurrection thru consuming blood and flesh, the cannibal, Colqhoun takes on Christ-like imagery thro...

ravenous: oxfordsnotbroguesplease angels-are-watching Paleoanthropology Division Smithsonian Institute 207 Pennsylvania Avenue Washington, DC 20078 Smithsonian Institution Dean Thank you for your latest submission to the Institate, labeled "211-D, layer seven, nest so the clothesline post Hominid skull." We have given this specimen a careful and detailed esamination, and regret to inform you that we disagree with your theory that it represents "conclasive proof of the presence of Early Man in Charleston County two million years ago" Rather, it appears that what you have found is the head of a Barbic doll, of the variety one of our staff, who has small childre, believes to be the "Malibu Barbic". It is evidert that you have given a great deal af thought so the analysis of this specinen, and you may be quite certain that those of us who are familir with your prior work in the field were loathe to come to coetradiction with your findings However, we do feel that there are number of physical amribates of the specimen which might have ripped you off to it's moders origin LThe material is molded plastic. Ancient hominid remains are typically fosilized bone 2. The cranial capacity of the specimen is approximately 9 cubic centineers, well below the threshold of even the arliest idertified peoto-hominids 3. The destition patiers evident on the "skall" is mone cossistent with the common domesticaned dog than it is with the "ravenous man-cating Pliocene clans" you speculate roarmed the wetlands daring that time. This lter fnding is certainly one of the most inmrigsing hypotheses you have subnimed in your history with this instihution, but the evidence seems to weigh rather heavily against it. Without going into too mach detail, let us say that A. The specimes looks Hke the head of a Barbie doll that a dog has chewed on B.Clans don't have teeth Th is with felings tinged with melancholy that we must deny your requaest to have the specimen carbon daned. This is partially dae to the heavy load our lab mast bear in ifs normal operation, and partly due to carbon dating's notorious naccuracy in fossihs of recent geologic recond. To the best of our knowledge, no Barbie dolls were produced prior to 1956 AD, and carhon dating is likely to prodece wildly inaccurate resalts. Sadly, we mast also deny your request that we appreach the National Science Foundation's Phylogeny Department with the coscept of assigning your specimen the sclertific name "Australopithecas spiff-orino Speaking persuonally, L for one, fought senaciously for the acceptance of your proposed tasonomy, but was ultimately voted down becane the species name you selected was hyphenaned, and didn't really sound like it might be Latin Houever, we gladly accept your gencrous donion of dhis fascinating specimen to the museun. While it is undoubtedly not a honisid fosil, is nonetheless, yet another riveting example of the grean body of work you soo to accumulate here so effortlessy. You shoald know that our Director has reserved a special shelf in his own office for the display of the speciners you have previously submitted to the Institution, and the etire staff speculates daily on what you will hppen upon next in your digs at the site you have discovered in your back yand. We cagerly anticipate your trip to cur naticn's capiral thot you peoposed in your last letter, and several of us are pressing the Director to pay for it. We are particularty interested in hearing you expand on your theories srounding the "trass-positating fillifitation of ferrous ions ina structural matrix that makes the excellent juvenile Tyrannossurus rex femar you recently discovered take on the deceptive appearance of a rusty 9-mm Sears Craftsman automotive crescent wrench Yours in Sience Harvy Rowe Carator, Antiquities Can we please talk about how our history teacher sent a barbie to the smithsonian as proof of the presence of man two million years ago bonequeer pleas,e for the love of God read the whole letter, there are tears streamign down my face rn derinthemadscientist Can we please talk about how your history teacher has done this sort of thing enough times that he has his own specimen shelf in the Smithsonian theverysarcasticscientist "yours in science" tho sinesalvatorem "B. Clams don't have teeth" is the part where l lost it. stimmyabby @zozi-writes coffiend-jackalope The letter says: "Thank you for your latest submission to the Institute, labeled "211-D, layer seven, next to the clothesline post. Hominid skull" We have gien this specimen a careful and detailed examination and regret to inform you that we disagree with you theory that it represents 'conclusive proof of the presence of Early Man in Charleston County two million years ago. Rather, it appears that what you have found is the head of a Barbie doll, of the variety one of our staff, who has small children, believes to be the 'Malibu Barbie'. It is evident that you have given a great deal of thought to the analysis of this specimen, and you may be quite certain that those of us who are familiar with your prior work in the field were loathe to come to contradiction with your findings. However, we do feel that there are a number of physical attributes of the specimen which might have tipped you off to it's modern origin: 1. The material is molded plastic. Ancient hominid remains are typically fossilized bone 2. The cranial capacity of the specimen is approximately 9 cubic centimeters, well below the threshold of even the earliest identified proto-hominids. 3. The dentition patters evident on the 'skull' is more consistent with the common domesticated dog than it is with the 'ravenous man-eating Pliocene clams' you speculate roamed the wetlands during that time.This latter finding is certainly one of the most intriguing hypotheses you have submitted in your history with this institution, but the evidence seems to weigh rather heavily against it. Without going into too much detail, let us say that: A) The specimen looks like the head of a Barbie doll that a dog has chewed on. Clams don't have teeth. It is with feelings tinged with melancholy that we must deny your request to have the specimen carbon dated. This is partially due to the heavy load our lab must bear in it's normal operation, and partly due to carbon dating's notorious inaccuracy in fossils of recent geologic record. To the best of our knowledge, no Barbie dolls were produced prior to 1956 AD, and carbon dating is likely to produce wildly inaccurate results. Sadly, we must also deny your request that we approach the National Science Foundation's Phylogeny Department with the concept of assigning your specimen the scientific name 'Australopithecus spiff-arino.' Speaking personally, I for one, fought tenaciously for the acceptance of your proposed taxonomy, but was ultimately voted down because the species name you selected was hyphenated, and didn't really sound like it might be Latin. However, we gladly accept your generous donation of this fascinating specimen to the museum. While it is undoubtedly not a hominid fossil, it is, nonetheless, yet another riveting example of the great body of work you seem to accumulate here so effortlessly. You should know that our Director has reserved a special shelf in his own office for the display of the specimens you have previously submitted to the Institution, and the entire staff speculates daily on what you will happen upon next in your digs at the site you have discovered in your back yard. We eagerly anticipate your trip to or nation's capital that you proposed in you last letter, and several of us are pressing the Director to pay for it. We are particularly interested in hearing you expand on your theories surrounding the 'trans-positating fillifitation of ferrous ions in a structural matrix that makes the excellent juvenile Tyrannosaurus rex femur you recently discovered take on the deceptive appearance of a rusty 9-mm Sears Craftsman automotive crescent wrench Yours in Science, Harvey Rowe Curator, Antiquities" (sorry if there are misspellings or wrong wordings. this was long and i was reading it off my phone) logic-and-art "I for one, fought tenaciously for the acceptance of your proposed taxonomy, but was ultimately voted down because the species name you selected was hyphenated, and didn't really sound like it might be Latin." professorsparklepants T love that that entire last paragraph can be boiled down to "keep it up, you mad bastard." Source: angels-are-watching 215,976 notes An interesting history teacher.
ravenous: oxfordsnotbroguesplease
 angels-are-watching
 Paleoanthropology Division
 Smithsonian Institute
 207 Pennsylvania Avenue
 Washington, DC 20078
 Smithsonian Institution
 Dean
 Thank you for your latest submission to the Institate, labeled "211-D, layer seven, nest so the clothesline post
 Hominid skull." We have given this specimen a careful and detailed esamination, and regret to inform you that we
 disagree with your theory that it represents "conclasive proof of the presence of Early Man in Charleston County
 two million years ago" Rather, it appears that what you have found is the head of a Barbic doll, of the variety one of
 our staff, who has small childre, believes to be the "Malibu Barbic". It is evidert that you have given a great deal af
 thought so the analysis of this specinen, and you may be quite certain that those of us who are familir with your
 prior work in the field were loathe to come to coetradiction with your findings However, we do feel that there are
 number of physical amribates of the specimen which might have ripped you off to it's moders origin
 LThe material is molded plastic. Ancient hominid remains are typically fosilized bone
 2. The cranial capacity of the specimen is approximately 9 cubic centineers, well below the threshold of even the
 arliest idertified peoto-hominids
 3. The destition patiers evident on the "skall" is mone cossistent with the common domesticaned dog than it is with
 the "ravenous man-cating Pliocene clans" you speculate roarmed the wetlands daring that time. This lter fnding is
 certainly one of the most inmrigsing hypotheses you have subnimed in your history with this instihution, but the
 evidence seems to weigh rather heavily against it. Without going into too mach detail, let us say that
 A. The specimes looks Hke the head of a Barbie doll that a dog has chewed on
 B.Clans don't have teeth
 Th is with felings tinged with melancholy that we must deny your requaest to have the specimen carbon daned. This is
 partially dae to the heavy load our lab mast bear in ifs normal operation, and partly due to carbon dating's notorious
 naccuracy in fossihs of recent geologic recond. To the best of our knowledge, no Barbie dolls were produced prior to
 1956 AD, and carhon dating is likely to prodece wildly inaccurate resalts. Sadly, we mast also deny your request
 that we appreach the National Science Foundation's Phylogeny Department with the coscept of assigning your
 specimen the sclertific name "Australopithecas spiff-orino Speaking persuonally, L for one, fought senaciously for
 the acceptance of your proposed tasonomy, but was ultimately voted down becane the species name you selected
 was hyphenaned, and didn't really sound like it might be Latin
 Houever, we gladly accept your gencrous donion of dhis fascinating specimen to the museun. While it is
 undoubtedly not a honisid fosil, is nonetheless, yet another riveting example of the grean body of work you
 soo to accumulate here so effortlessy. You shoald know that our Director has reserved a special shelf in his own
 office for the display of the speciners you have previously submitted to the Institution, and the etire staff
 speculates daily on what you will hppen upon next in your digs at the site you have discovered in your back yand.
 We cagerly anticipate your trip to cur naticn's capiral thot you peoposed in your last letter, and several of us are
 pressing the Director to pay for it. We are particularty interested in hearing you expand on your theories srounding
 the "trass-positating fillifitation of ferrous ions ina structural matrix that makes the excellent juvenile
 Tyrannossurus rex femar you recently discovered take on the deceptive appearance of a rusty 9-mm Sears
 Craftsman automotive crescent wrench
 Yours in Sience
 Harvy Rowe
 Carator, Antiquities
 Can we please talk about how our history
 teacher sent a barbie to the smithsonian as
 proof of the presence of man two million years
 ago
 bonequeer
 pleas,e for the love of God read the whole letter,
 there are tears streamign down my face rn
 derinthemadscientist
 Can we please talk about how your history
 teacher has done this sort of thing enough
 times that he has his own specimen shelf in the
 Smithsonian
 theverysarcasticscientist
 "yours in science" tho
 sinesalvatorem
 "B. Clams don't have teeth" is the part where l
 lost it.
 stimmyabby
 @zozi-writes
 coffiend-jackalope
 The letter says:
 "Thank you for your latest submission to
 the Institute, labeled "211-D, layer seven,
 next to the clothesline post. Hominid skull"
 We have gien this specimen a careful and
 detailed examination and regret to inform
 you that we disagree with you theory that it
 represents 'conclusive proof of the presence
 of Early Man in Charleston County two million
 years ago. Rather, it appears that what you
 have found is the head of a Barbie doll, of the
 variety one of our staff, who has small children,
 believes to be the 'Malibu Barbie'. It is evident
 that you have given a great deal of thought to
 the analysis of this specimen, and you may be
 quite certain that those of us who are familiar
 with your prior work in the field were loathe
 to come to contradiction with your findings.
 However, we do feel that there are a number of
 physical attributes of the specimen which might
 have tipped you off to it's modern origin:
 1.
 The material is molded plastic. Ancient
 hominid remains are typically fossilized
 bone
 2. The cranial capacity of the specimen is
 approximately 9 cubic centimeters, well
 below the threshold of even the earliest
 identified proto-hominids.
 3. The dentition patters evident on
 the 'skull' is more consistent with the
 common domesticated dog than it is with
 the 'ravenous man-eating Pliocene clams'
 you speculate roamed the wetlands during
 that time.This latter finding is certainly
 one of the most intriguing hypotheses
 you have submitted in your history with
 this institution, but the evidence seems
 to weigh rather heavily against it. Without
 going into too much detail, let us say that:
 A) The specimen looks like the head of a
 Barbie doll that a dog has chewed on.
 Clams don't have teeth.
 It is with feelings tinged with melancholy
 that we must deny your request to have the
 specimen carbon dated. This is partially due
 to the heavy load our lab must bear in it's
 normal operation, and partly due to carbon
 dating's notorious inaccuracy in fossils of
 recent geologic record. To the best of our
 knowledge, no Barbie dolls were produced
 prior to 1956 AD, and carbon dating is likely to
 produce wildly inaccurate results. Sadly, we
 must also deny your request that we approach
 the National Science Foundation's Phylogeny
 Department with the concept of assigning your
 specimen the scientific name 'Australopithecus
 spiff-arino.' Speaking personally, I for one,
 fought tenaciously for the acceptance of your
 proposed taxonomy, but was ultimately voted
 down because the species name you selected
 was hyphenated, and didn't really sound like it
 might be Latin.
 However, we gladly accept your generous
 donation of this fascinating specimen to the
 museum. While it is undoubtedly not a hominid
 fossil, it is, nonetheless, yet another riveting
 example of the great body of work you seem
 to accumulate here so effortlessly. You should
 know that our Director has reserved a special
 shelf in his own office for the display of the
 specimens you have previously submitted to
 the Institution, and the entire staff speculates
 daily on what you will happen upon next in
 your digs at the site you have discovered in
 your back yard. We eagerly anticipate your
 trip to or nation's capital that you proposed in
 you last letter, and several of us are pressing
 the Director to pay for it. We are particularly
 interested in hearing you expand on your
 theories surrounding the 'trans-positating
 fillifitation of ferrous ions in a structural matrix
 that makes the excellent juvenile Tyrannosaurus
 rex femur you recently discovered take on the
 deceptive appearance of a rusty 9-mm Sears
 Craftsman automotive crescent wrench
 Yours in Science,
 Harvey Rowe
 Curator, Antiquities"
 (sorry if there are misspellings or wrong
 wordings. this was long and i was reading it off
 my phone)
 logic-and-art
 "I for one, fought tenaciously for the
 acceptance of your proposed taxonomy, but
 was ultimately voted down because the species
 name you selected was hyphenated, and didn't
 really sound like it might be Latin."
 professorsparklepants
 T love that that entire last paragraph can be
 boiled down to "keep it up, you mad bastard."
 Source: angels-are-watching
 215,976 notes
An interesting history teacher.

An interesting history teacher.

ravenous: A flowchart of potential outcomes for tomorrow's raid junglebox24 Raid commences Team 51's valiant effort and immensely- favourable odds allow them to overcome their WARNING September 20, 2019 sometime on this date. Personnel on site invading enemy. They are not without casualties however, and the subsequent legal and medical investigations create an enormous strain on an already-faltering US economy. The government implements Orwellian monitoring of the internet, Reddit in particular, to ensure that no such event can organically grow from an innocent meme ever again. notice a number of THE END STOP people on the horizon. hl In an unlikely turn of events, Raiders discover the hauntingly accurate predictions of many memers. The world is now blessed with Reddit 2, Half-Life 3, a list of Shrek sequel release dates and the formula on how to delete games that Reddit deems inferior and which aren't aimed at the site's average age bracket. As many anticipated, caged aliens are everywhere in the deeper facility. They all look to be of differing origins and temperments. A sole door awaits on the other side. It's shady, rotten and creepy. Karen, 43 from Maryland knows that nowhere in the world is off-limits to her and she rapidly waddles to it. She opens the door to find an initially-confusing sight. Ravenous alien cells are firebombed without a second thought. Some kid raiders free smaller aliens and keep them as pets, completely unaware of their needs, behaviour or future affect on our ecosystem. Cuter aliens that resemble pets are freed in a unanimous decision by the raiders who took a class on biology 5 years ago at an online college. An eerily quiet kid dressed in all-black uses one of the guard's guns to indiscriminately destroy an entire room of beings. A man, around 50, chained by the leg to a grounded steel peg. He waits for the room to populate with shocked raiders before feebly standing. The two parties lock eyes and the raiders prepare their weapons, not knowing what kind of alien force they are about to combat. A significant number of raiders realise the Despite impressive numbers, the raiders are overwhelmed upon an aggressive approach by elite weaponry and stringently-trained guards. With tact and intellect, the raiders get the jump on the guards with shere numbers and THE ENE gravity of their choice and flee. Stragglers obscure battle tactics. Team 51 continue on but leave The military stand down when presented with the freed aliens. Weeks later orbital disturbance on a grand scale is observed. Spokespeople from Area 51 curse the raiders for removing the aliens from a safe zone, allowing their positions to be tracked by their home planets. The aged man begins dancing as an all-too-familiar drum beat kicks in and he starts to sing, "We're no strangers to love..." engage in a skirmish with many overweight, weak-bearded, pale, obnoxious, liberal rich kid, conservative adrenaline junkie, developmentally challenged and/or weeabo0 foes, using up when guards tell them they're about to commit a federal The massacre is documented, officials are offence. The raiders' dedication pays off and a rainbow-haired feminst who has appointed himself "Commander" approaches a sealed submarine style-door. 2nd-in command obese teenager with a vulgar PS4 name drags a dismembered and faintly alive guard to the door for more information on what awaits them beyond it. A minutia of Raiders decide to quit while they're ahead and leave. The remainers prepare themselves with their switchblades, hockey sticks and hot sauce-filled water guns to enter the unknown and make history, for better or worse. The guard is forced to tell the passcode to Rainbow and everyone braces themselves tentatively for him to enter it and for their fates to be sealed. indicted and the brutal THE ENE Earth is invaded as numerous intergalactic Reddit-style sites eagerly look forward to the Earth Raid and post relentless memes about what theyll find here. extermination of the raiders' populus is all but forgotten in a matter of an unprecedented amount of ammunition as the higher echelons decide on dynamic Raiders successfully overwhelm the guards as emergency military backup arrives to de- escalate the conflict by any means necessary. They however are kept at bay by Raiders who've acquired the fallen's rifles and other weaponry. The negotiations allow the infiltrated raiders to begin conducting their search for the elusive secrets of the secretive military base, not really knowing what they're looking for and potentially completely underequipped to deal with anything they do happen to find. THE END Amongst the concentration camps, Raiders are labelled as traitors to the human race. Many are exiled, executed, left to starve or otherwise exposed to barbaric treatment. The aliens colonise us efficiently and solve our overpopulation problem without prejudice. The Rainbow-haired commander is kept as a sex slave by Grand Emperor Zingajoop in a twisted thank you for revealing their location. months. courses of action. THE END Desperate to keep the secrets of Area 51 as they are, the world leaders agree on a spontaneous nuclear bombardment. Figuring it better to destroy the knowledge than allow it to become public knowledge, they launch a trio of bombs at the base, allowing collateral damage to be catastrophic. Man's progress is reset. Literature, science, monuments, art and landmarks are obliterated as we all contemplate our pending demise once the aliens have had us complete pyramids and statues in their honour. Civil war erupts as the decision is hailed as malevolent. The US becomes engulfed in fire and war, as do many other Western nations. The Raiders go down as pioneers and legends who paid the ultimate price for freedom and exploration. Several bomb-proof sentient beings emerge from ground zero and assist in the war by shooting at anything and everything. THE END Before too long, humans are almost entirely eradicated. A spaceship descends to a troop of aliens waiting to greet he who steps off. The landing opens and a white-haired, robed man pacingly smokes a cigarette marches down, the aliens all bowing. Before flicking his cigarette and returning into the ship, he utters, "Hmm. Lasted longer than I thought. Reset the simulation, let's try it from the start." The raid ends in a bittersweet finale. Despite total victory, there is nothing of understandable value to be discovered. That which is, such as luminescent slug or fauna life, are squashed by sugar-rushed teenage raiders who thought it would be cool to do such a thing. The American military, although sworn to defend the country, do not forget such a heinous and brazen betrayal by its own citizens. Having never seen death or such extreme violence before, many raiders vomit, collapse or otherwise experience horrific physiological responses to the bloodshed. Many flee or submit to the armed guards. The more timid are returned to their parents and accept that violent resistance is best left to the movies. Self-titled "Elite Hackers" from Reddit, 4chan and likewise commit their lunch breaks and toilet time to aiding the Raiders in any way they can. The more proficient attempt to hack into Area 51's intranet to shut down the base or give them misdirection in order to better the chances of raid success. The majority of these hackers however stay on Reddit to post memes about regretting the raid after alien overlords envelop us or try to find the handful of Raiders livestreaming the carnage and their own downfall for all to see. Many simply visit the various associated sites to "like" articles on the raid or upvote the inevitable flood of memes which bombard all meme pages for the day. THE END The folly of the raiders is realised and the warnings ignored. Dark lord and recent pop resurrection Cthulu is awoken. In accordance with 2019, the omnipotent beast starts to exterminate everyone around it but numerous protestors form to stop harm from coming to the God. The expanse of the facility is huge and raiders split to explore the floors and quadrants. Unfathomable truths are found. Pristine pieces of forgotten art decorate the walls. Countless new species and hybrid organisms are found frolicking and thriving. Space-age weaponry and military-applied objects litter the area, making for a hell of a livestream. Violent raiders are given a beasting in nearby cells until they are collected by law enforcement and charged, leading to a record number of prison sentences and a lot of f's to be typed on Reddit the following day. Cries of anguish ring throughout the base as those on the outside realise that something unstoppable has been unleashed. Centuries of pain and decimation are guaranteed and the fate of the human race is irreversibly sealed. In the days before the reign of darkness commences, many anarchist groups and die hard fans of the Joker from Batman express apathy and a lack of remorse for humanity's fate. Weeks later the homes of every US citizen are knocked on, and eradicated. Pockets of survivors investigate and find out that the military had organised a revenge raid on America to get payback. Regardless of the outcome, almost all who digitally attended the raid will claim to be a part of the raid and brag amongst friends after scanning the area for any police officers or sketchy agent-types. US Government faces extreme backlash for keeping such knowledge from the public. The Raiders use their unbeatable new tech to battle the surrounding military and escape, bringing forth a new era of futuristic splendour and scientific wonder. One wealthy survivor makes it to another planet thanks to the efforts of his company, Space-X. THE END THE END THE END The Raid goes down in history as a defining moment for America and it's participants are hailed as heros. This gives the internet a brilliant idea, and on June 13th, 2020, Area 52 is raided. THE END «E I'm recording this, because this could be the last thing I'll ever say The city I once knew as home is teetering on the edge of radioactive oblivion A three-hundred thousand degree baptism by nuclear fire I'm not sorry, we had it coming...
ravenous: A flowchart of potential outcomes for tomorrow's raid
 junglebox24
 Raid commences
 Team 51's valiant effort and immensely-
 favourable odds allow them to overcome their
 WARNING
 September 20, 2019
 sometime on this date.
 Personnel on site
 invading enemy. They are not without
 casualties however, and the subsequent legal
 and medical investigations create an
 enormous strain on an already-faltering US
 economy. The government implements
 Orwellian monitoring of the internet, Reddit in
 particular, to ensure that no such event can
 organically grow from an innocent meme ever
 again.
 notice a number of
 THE END
 STOP
 people on the horizon.
 hl
 In an unlikely turn of events, Raiders discover the hauntingly
 accurate predictions of many memers. The world is now blessed with
 Reddit 2, Half-Life 3, a list of Shrek sequel release dates and the
 formula on how to delete games that Reddit deems inferior and
 which aren't aimed at the site's average age bracket.
 As many anticipated, caged aliens are everywhere in the deeper facility. They all look
 to be of differing origins and temperments.
 A sole door awaits on the other side. It's shady, rotten and creepy. Karen, 43
 from Maryland knows that nowhere in the world is off-limits to her and she
 rapidly waddles to it. She opens the door to find an initially-confusing sight.
 Ravenous alien cells are firebombed without a second thought. Some kid raiders
 free smaller aliens and keep them as pets, completely unaware of their needs,
 behaviour or future affect on our ecosystem. Cuter aliens that resemble pets are
 freed in a unanimous decision by the raiders who took a class on biology 5 years ago
 at an online college. An eerily quiet kid dressed in all-black uses one of the guard's
 guns to indiscriminately destroy an entire room of beings.
 A man, around 50, chained by the leg to a grounded steel peg. He waits for
 the room to populate with shocked raiders before feebly standing. The two
 parties lock eyes and the raiders prepare their weapons, not knowing what
 kind of alien force they are about to combat.
 A significant number
 of raiders realise the
 Despite impressive
 numbers, the raiders are
 overwhelmed upon an
 aggressive approach by
 elite weaponry and
 stringently-trained guards.
 With tact and intellect, the
 raiders get the jump on the
 guards with shere numbers and
 THE ENE
 gravity of their choice
 and flee. Stragglers
 obscure battle tactics. Team 51
 continue on but leave
 The military stand down when presented with the freed aliens. Weeks later orbital
 disturbance on a grand scale is observed. Spokespeople from Area 51 curse the raiders
 for removing the aliens from a safe zone, allowing their positions to be tracked by their
 home planets.
 The aged man begins dancing as an all-too-familiar drum beat kicks in and he
 starts to sing, "We're no strangers to love..."
 engage in a skirmish with many
 overweight, weak-bearded,
 pale, obnoxious, liberal rich kid,
 conservative adrenaline junkie,
 developmentally challenged
 and/or weeabo0 foes, using up
 when guards tell them
 they're about to
 commit a federal
 The massacre is
 documented, officials are
 offence.
 The raiders' dedication pays off and a rainbow-haired feminst who has
 appointed himself "Commander" approaches a sealed submarine style-door.
 2nd-in command obese teenager with a vulgar PS4 name drags a dismembered
 and faintly alive guard to the door for more information on what awaits them
 beyond it. A minutia of Raiders decide to quit while they're ahead and leave. The
 remainers prepare themselves with their switchblades, hockey sticks and hot
 sauce-filled water guns to enter the unknown and make history, for better or
 worse. The guard is forced to tell the passcode to Rainbow and everyone braces
 themselves tentatively for him to enter it and for their fates to be sealed.
 indicted and the brutal
 THE ENE
 Earth is invaded as numerous intergalactic Reddit-style sites eagerly look forward to the
 Earth Raid and post relentless memes about what theyll find here.
 extermination of the
 raiders' populus is all but
 forgotten in a matter of
 an unprecedented amount of
 ammunition as the higher
 echelons decide on dynamic
 Raiders successfully overwhelm the guards as
 emergency military backup arrives to de-
 escalate the conflict by any means necessary.
 They however are kept at bay by Raiders who've
 acquired the fallen's rifles and other weaponry.
 The negotiations allow the infiltrated raiders to
 begin conducting their search for the elusive
 secrets of the secretive military base, not really
 knowing what they're looking for and potentially
 completely underequipped to deal with anything
 they do happen to find.
 THE END
 Amongst the concentration camps, Raiders are labelled as traitors to the human race.
 Many are exiled, executed, left to starve or otherwise exposed to barbaric treatment.
 The aliens colonise us efficiently and solve our overpopulation problem without
 prejudice. The Rainbow-haired commander is kept as a sex slave by Grand Emperor
 Zingajoop in a twisted thank you for revealing their location.
 months.
 courses of action.
 THE END
 Desperate to keep the secrets of Area 51 as they are, the world leaders agree on a spontaneous
 nuclear bombardment. Figuring it better to destroy the knowledge than allow it to become
 public knowledge, they launch a trio of bombs at the base, allowing collateral damage to be
 catastrophic.
 Man's progress is reset. Literature, science, monuments, art and landmarks are
 obliterated as we all contemplate our pending demise once the aliens have had us
 complete pyramids and statues in their honour.
 Civil war erupts as the decision is hailed as malevolent. The US becomes engulfed in fire and
 war, as do many other Western nations. The Raiders go down as pioneers and legends who paid
 the ultimate price for freedom and exploration. Several bomb-proof sentient beings emerge
 from ground zero and assist in the war by shooting at anything and everything.
 THE END
 Before too long, humans are almost entirely eradicated. A spaceship descends to a troop of
 aliens waiting to greet he who steps off. The landing opens and a white-haired, robed man
 pacingly smokes a cigarette marches down, the aliens all bowing. Before flicking his cigarette
 and returning into the ship, he utters,
 "Hmm. Lasted longer than I thought. Reset the simulation, let's try it from the start."
 The raid ends in a bittersweet finale. Despite total
 victory, there is nothing of understandable value to be
 discovered. That which is, such as luminescent slug or
 fauna life, are squashed by sugar-rushed teenage
 raiders who thought it would be cool to do such a thing.
 The American military, although sworn to defend the
 country, do not forget such a heinous and brazen
 betrayal by its own citizens.
 Having never seen death or such extreme
 violence before, many raiders vomit, collapse
 or otherwise experience horrific physiological
 responses to the bloodshed. Many flee or
 submit to the armed guards. The more timid
 are returned to their parents and accept that
 violent resistance is best left to the movies.
 Self-titled "Elite Hackers" from Reddit, 4chan and likewise commit their
 lunch breaks and toilet time to aiding the Raiders in any way they can. The
 more proficient attempt to hack into Area 51's intranet to shut down the
 base or give them misdirection in order to better the chances of raid
 success. The majority of these hackers however stay on Reddit to post
 memes about regretting the raid after alien overlords envelop us or try to
 find the handful of Raiders livestreaming the carnage and their own
 downfall for all to see. Many simply visit the various associated sites to
 "like" articles on the raid or upvote the inevitable flood of memes which
 bombard all meme pages for the day.
 THE END
 The folly of the raiders is realised and the warnings ignored. Dark lord and recent pop resurrection Cthulu is
 awoken. In accordance with 2019, the omnipotent beast starts to exterminate everyone around it but numerous
 protestors form to stop harm from coming to the God.
 The expanse of the facility is huge and raiders split to explore the floors and
 quadrants. Unfathomable truths are found. Pristine pieces of forgotten art
 decorate the walls. Countless new species and hybrid organisms are found
 frolicking and thriving. Space-age weaponry and military-applied objects
 litter the area, making for a hell of a livestream.
 Violent raiders are given a beasting in nearby
 cells until they are collected by law
 enforcement and charged, leading to a record
 number of prison sentences and a lot of f's to
 be typed on Reddit the following day.
 Cries of anguish ring throughout the base as those on the outside realise that something unstoppable has been
 unleashed. Centuries of pain and decimation are guaranteed and the fate of the human race is irreversibly
 sealed. In the days before the reign of darkness commences, many anarchist groups and die hard fans of the
 Joker from Batman express apathy and a lack of remorse for humanity's fate.
 Weeks later the homes of every US citizen are knocked
 on, and eradicated. Pockets of survivors investigate
 and find out that the military had organised a revenge
 raid on America to get payback.
 Regardless of the outcome, almost all who digitally attended the raid will
 claim to be a part of the raid and brag amongst friends after scanning the
 area for any police officers or sketchy agent-types.
 US Government faces extreme backlash for keeping such knowledge from the
 public. The Raiders use their unbeatable new tech to battle the surrounding
 military and escape, bringing forth a new era of futuristic splendour and
 scientific wonder.
 One wealthy survivor makes it to another planet thanks to the efforts of his company, Space-X.
 THE END
 THE END
 THE END
 The Raid goes down in history as a defining moment for America and it's
 participants are hailed as heros. This gives the internet a brilliant idea, and on
 June 13th, 2020, Area 52 is raided.
 THE END
 «E
I'm recording this, because this could be the last thing I'll ever say The city I once knew as home is teetering on the edge of radioactive oblivion A three-hundred thousand degree baptism by nuclear fire I'm not sorry, we had it coming...

I'm recording this, because this could be the last thing I'll ever say The city I once knew as home is teetering on the edge of radioacti...

ravenous: group of people all starir one another on reading the words co ror whose image shows the writing's true message. stagration, cal ror. No one thinks it's necessary. Well, after almost allowing the Arabst finish what Hitler started, we realized that not only was that mirror image necessary, but it must forever be our national policy. From 1973 onward, if nine intelligence analysts came to the same conclusion, it was the duty of nir- to or far-fetched a possibility might be, one must always dig deeper. Ifa neighbor's nuclear power plant might be used to make weapons-grade plutonium, you dig; if a dictator rumored to be building a cannon so big it could fire anthrax shells whole countries, you dig; and if there was even the slightest chance that dead bodies were being reanimated as ravenous killing machines, you dig the tenth to disagree. No matter how unlikely was across and dig until you stike the absolute truth. And that is what I did, I dug. At first it wasn't easy. With China out of the picture. .. the Taiwan crisis put an end to any intelligence gather- ing... I was left with very few sources of information. A lot of it was chaff, especially on the Internet; zombies from space and Area 51.. .what is your country's fetish for Area 51, anyway? After a while I started to un- cover more useful data: cases of "rabies" similar to Cape Town .. . it wasn't called African rabies until later. I uncovered the psychological evaluation Was reading World War Z and found this gem on the bottom paragraph. Imagine the quips about this today
ravenous: group of people all starir
 one another on reading the words co
 ror whose image shows the writing's true message.
 stagration, cal
 ror. No one thinks it's necessary. Well, after almost allowing the Arabst
 finish what Hitler started, we realized that not only was that mirror image
 necessary, but it must forever be our national policy. From 1973 onward, if
 nine intelligence analysts came to the same conclusion, it was the duty of
 nir-
 to
 or far-fetched a possibility
 might be, one must always dig deeper. Ifa neighbor's nuclear power plant
 might be used to make weapons-grade plutonium, you dig; if a dictator
 rumored to be building a cannon so big it could fire anthrax shells
 whole countries, you dig; and if there was even the slightest chance that
 dead bodies were being reanimated as ravenous killing machines, you dig
 the tenth to disagree. No matter how unlikely
 was
 across
 and dig until you stike the absolute truth.
 And that is what I did, I dug. At first it wasn't easy. With China out of
 the picture. .. the Taiwan crisis put an end to any intelligence gather-
 ing... I was left with very few sources of information. A lot of it was chaff,
 especially on the Internet; zombies from space and Area 51.. .what is
 your country's fetish for Area 51, anyway? After a while I started to un-
 cover more useful data: cases of "rabies" similar to Cape Town .. . it wasn't
 called African rabies until later. I uncovered the psychological evaluation
Was reading World War Z and found this gem on the bottom paragraph. Imagine the quips about this today

Was reading World War Z and found this gem on the bottom paragraph. Imagine the quips about this today