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A Dream, Christmas, and Instagram: cacen so at the bar in which I work, there's an unofficial rule that all of our door staff must have names that start with D or rhyme with 'doorman', which has led to me be- friending a trio of six foot four men with beards called Doorman Logan, Doorman Drew, and Doorman Dan now, let me tell you now that Doorman Dan is the abso- lute love of my life. I don't care that he's a decade older than me and has a fiance. you know when someone is so extraordinary or impossible to define that they're simply referred to as 'a character? that's Doorman Dan. now, before I get into his personality, let's describe his appearance. imagine the most stereotypical Scand inavian person ever: tall, white-blond, strong-jawed. now, add a heavy South Walian accent and an orange jumper. that's Doorman Dan. since meeting him last year, I've discovered .he once had a dream that he had a tattoo that said 'shit happens' on his left arsecheek, so when he woke up he decided he had to fulfil the prophecy and got it tattooed on his arse by a bloke called Junkie Jeff at 9AM .he forgot to call his girlfriend for three months while he was in the army, and was complet unaware they had broken up until he wishe happy Christmas and she responded with what the fuck Dan .accidentally married his army buddy in Vegas for thirty-six hours .he saw someone beating up a guy for being gay, and instead of jumping in and fighting back he decided to get absolutely bollock-naked and stand in front of the homophobe until he got freaked out and ran off .he has a millionare buddy who rings him up once a month for 'mystery adventures', one of which has resulted in Doorman Dan no longer being allowed inside any John Lewis shops .he is convinced the love of his life is not his fiancee, but a man named Ned. upon being asked who Ned is, he shrugged and responded with: "TII know when I meet him. .he runs an Instagram account dedicated to his pet rabbits and refuses to let people into the bar unless they follow him his fiancee booked a wedding venue before he even proposed. "I don't even know if I'm invited, truth be told." when he caught a couple having sex in our loos, he didn't want to intrude so he just gently knocked on the door and asked if they'd like a snack . .he has created his own non-alcoholic cocktail called Doorman's Sunrise because he feels left out being the only person on the dance floor without a drink when he's patrolling the bar I could honestly write a ten-season sitcom about him cacen BIG OL UPDATE: HE GOT MARRIED LAST WEEK!!!! zohbugg I need 10 seasons and a movie about the life of Doorman Dan thecheshirecass I look forward to reading more about the loving, polyamorous relationship he and his wife develop with Ned when they finally meet. fuckveahdiomedes What's the instagram for the rabbits, op? Source: cacen 114,993 notes The adventures of doorman dan
A Dream, Christmas, and Instagram: cacen
 so at the bar in which I work, there's an unofficial rule
 that all of our door staff must have names that start
 with D or rhyme with 'doorman', which has led to me be-
 friending a trio of six foot four men with beards called
 Doorman Logan, Doorman Drew, and Doorman Dan
 now, let me tell you now that Doorman Dan is the abso-
 lute love of my life. I don't care that he's a decade older
 than me and has a fiance. you know when someone
 is so extraordinary or impossible to define that they're
 simply referred to as 'a character? that's Doorman Dan.
 now, before I get into his personality, let's describe his
 appearance. imagine the most stereotypical Scand
 inavian person ever: tall, white-blond, strong-jawed. now,
 add a heavy South Walian accent and an orange jumper.
 that's Doorman Dan.
 since meeting him last year, I've discovered
 .he once had a dream that he had a tattoo that
 said 'shit happens' on his left arsecheek, so when
 he woke up he decided he had to fulfil the prophecy
 and got it tattooed on his arse by a bloke called
 Junkie Jeff at 9AM
 .he forgot to call his girlfriend for three months
 while he was in the army, and was complet
 unaware they had broken up until he wishe
 happy Christmas and she responded with what the
 fuck Dan
 .accidentally married his army buddy in Vegas for
 thirty-six hours
 .he saw someone beating up a guy for being gay,
 and instead of jumping in and fighting back he
 decided to get absolutely bollock-naked and stand
 in front of the homophobe until he got freaked out
 and ran off
 .he has a millionare buddy who rings him up once a
 month for 'mystery adventures', one of which has
 resulted in Doorman Dan no longer being allowed
 inside any John Lewis shops
 .he is convinced the love of his life is not his
 fiancee, but a man named Ned. upon being asked
 who Ned is, he shrugged and responded with: "TII
 know when I meet him.
 .he runs an Instagram account dedicated to his pet
 rabbits and refuses to let people into the bar unless
 they follow him
 his fiancee booked a wedding venue before he even
 proposed. "I don't even know if I'm invited, truth be
 told."
 when he caught a couple having sex in our loos, he
 didn't want to intrude so he just gently knocked on
 the door and asked if they'd like a snack
 .
 .he has created his own non-alcoholic cocktail
 called Doorman's Sunrise because he feels left out
 being the only person on the dance floor without a
 drink when he's patrolling the bar
 I could honestly write a ten-season sitcom about him
 cacen
 BIG OL UPDATE: HE GOT MARRIED LAST WEEK!!!!
 zohbugg
 I need 10 seasons and a movie about the life of
 Doorman Dan
 thecheshirecass
 I look forward to reading more about the loving,
 polyamorous relationship he and his wife develop with
 Ned when they finally meet.
 fuckveahdiomedes
 What's the instagram for the rabbits, op?
 Source: cacen
 114,993 notes
The adventures of doorman dan

The adventures of doorman dan

Tumblr, Blog, and Http: justnoodlefishthings: ravenla-brie: a perfect celestial bieng they will grant you one wish but only if it’s in rhyme
Tumblr, Blog, and Http: justnoodlefishthings:


ravenla-brie:

a perfect celestial bieng


they will grant you one wish but only if it’s in rhyme

justnoodlefishthings: ravenla-brie: a perfect celestial bieng they will grant you one wish but only if it’s in rhyme

Cars, Children, and Club: 20 Ways To Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down. 1. 2. Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can't Attend Their Party Because You're Not In The Mood. 3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, ask If They Want Fries with that. 4. Put Your Garbage Can On Your Desk And Label it "In". 5. Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks. Once Everyone has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch to Espresso In The Memo Field Of All Your Checks, Write "For Smuggling Diamonds". 6. 7. Finish All Your sentences with "In Accordance With The Prophecy". 8. Don't use any punctuation. 9. As Often As Possible, Skip Rather Than Walk. 10. Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face. 11. Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is "To Go". 12. Sing Along At The Opera. 13. Go To A Poetry Recital. And Ask Why The Poems Don't Rhyme. 14. Put Mosquito Netting Around Your Work Area And Play tropical Sounds All Day. 15. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice. 16. Have Your Co-workers Address You By Your Wrestling Name, Rock Bottom. 17. When The Money Comes Out The ATM Scream "I Won! I Won!" 18. When Leaving The Zoo, Start Running Towards The Parking lot, Yelling "Run For Your Lives! They're Loose!" 19. Tell Your Children Over Dinner, "Due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go." 20. Suck in some helium from a balloon, walk behind someone and say "follow the yellow brick road" laughoutloud-club: Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity
Cars, Children, and Club: 20 Ways To Maintain A
 Healthy Level Of Insanity
 At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car
 With Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At
 Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down.
 1.
 2. Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends
 You Can't Attend Their Party Because You're
 Not In The Mood.
 3.
 Every Time Someone Asks You To Do
 Something, ask If They Want Fries with that.
 4.
 Put Your Garbage Can On Your Desk And
 Label it "In".
 5. Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3
 Weeks. Once Everyone has Gotten Over
 Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch to
 Espresso
 In The Memo Field Of All Your Checks,
 Write "For Smuggling Diamonds".
 6.
 7. Finish All Your sentences with "In
 Accordance With The Prophecy".
 8. Don't use any punctuation.
 9. As Often As Possible, Skip Rather Than
 Walk.
 10. Order a Diet Water whenever you go out
 to eat, with a serious face.
 11. Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is
 "To Go".
 12. Sing Along At The Opera.
 13. Go To A Poetry Recital. And Ask Why The
 Poems Don't Rhyme.
 14. Put Mosquito Netting Around Your Work
 Area And Play tropical Sounds All Day.
 15. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't
 Disguise Your Voice.
 16. Have Your Co-workers Address You By
 Your Wrestling Name, Rock Bottom.
 17. When The Money Comes Out The ATM
 Scream "I Won! I Won!"
 18. When Leaving The Zoo, Start Running
 Towards The Parking lot, Yelling "Run For
 Your Lives! They're Loose!"
 19. Tell Your Children Over Dinner, "Due To
 The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let
 One Of You Go."
 20. Suck in some helium from a balloon, walk
 behind someone and say "follow the yellow
 brick road"
laughoutloud-club:

Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity

laughoutloud-club: Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity

Arguing, Family, and Friends: Rap Pioneer Who Popularized Term 'Hip Hop,' Lovebug Starski Dies At 57 @balleralert Rap Pioneer Lovebug Starski, Who Popularized The Term ‘Hip Hop,’ Dies At 57 - blogged by @lanaladonna ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Kevin Smith, a DJ from the Bronx, and better known as LovebugStarski who coined the term “hip-hop,” unfortunately passed yesterday at age 57. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ RollingStone reports his death was caused by a heart attack he had in Las Vegas, where he recently relocated. Starski’s daughter, Tiffany Smith, confirmed the cause of death. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Starski was among a core group of DJ pioneers that include DJKoolHerc, AfrikaBambaataa, GrandmasterFlash and GrandWizardTheodore. Rolling Stone says they all helped shape hip-hop’s parameters in the days before recorded rap in the 1970s. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ DJ Grandmaster Flash told rolling stone what made Starski so different from the rest. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ "What set him apart was he was able to DJ and talk on the mic and do both at the same time, and he was really really good at this," explained Flash. “He played an extremely important role in the development of this. We all do it now, talk on the mic and DJ same time, but in the hip-hop world, Starski was probably the first to handle it." ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Some may argue that Keith “Cowboy” Wiggins of Grandmaster Flash and the FuriousFive introduced the word “hip-hop,” but Smith accepted credit for the term in an interview with Amoeba Music in 2017. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ "That was one of my rhymes when I would get stuck for words and I used to go 'hip, hop, the hip, the hip, hip the hopping," he said. "You know it was just a nursery rhyme that coincided with the music, and that's the God's honest truth." ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Condolences are sent to Smith’s family and friends. Salute to all “hip-hop” icons everywhere.
Arguing, Family, and Friends: Rap Pioneer Who Popularized
 Term 'Hip Hop,' Lovebug Starski
 Dies At 57 @balleralert
Rap Pioneer Lovebug Starski, Who Popularized The Term ‘Hip Hop,’ Dies At 57 - blogged by @lanaladonna ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Kevin Smith, a DJ from the Bronx, and better known as LovebugStarski who coined the term “hip-hop,” unfortunately passed yesterday at age 57. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ RollingStone reports his death was caused by a heart attack he had in Las Vegas, where he recently relocated. Starski’s daughter, Tiffany Smith, confirmed the cause of death. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Starski was among a core group of DJ pioneers that include DJKoolHerc, AfrikaBambaataa, GrandmasterFlash and GrandWizardTheodore. Rolling Stone says they all helped shape hip-hop’s parameters in the days before recorded rap in the 1970s. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ DJ Grandmaster Flash told rolling stone what made Starski so different from the rest. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ "What set him apart was he was able to DJ and talk on the mic and do both at the same time, and he was really really good at this," explained Flash. “He played an extremely important role in the development of this. We all do it now, talk on the mic and DJ same time, but in the hip-hop world, Starski was probably the first to handle it." ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Some may argue that Keith “Cowboy” Wiggins of Grandmaster Flash and the FuriousFive introduced the word “hip-hop,” but Smith accepted credit for the term in an interview with Amoeba Music in 2017. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ "That was one of my rhymes when I would get stuck for words and I used to go 'hip, hop, the hip, the hip, hip the hopping," he said. "You know it was just a nursery rhyme that coincided with the music, and that's the God's honest truth." ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Condolences are sent to Smith’s family and friends. Salute to all “hip-hop” icons everywhere.

Rap Pioneer Lovebug Starski, Who Popularized The Term ‘Hip Hop,’ Dies At 57 - blogged by @lanaladonna ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Kevin Smith, a DJ from...